Same Ground
by fabcharlie
Summary: Rachel Berry is now a Broadway star. But Rachel Berry is not happy. She is messing up with her life and only one - unlikely - person can save her now. She ran away from her once, will she run away again? - Faberry. With bits of Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note**__: __**This is my first Faberry fan fic. Well, I hope y'all will bear with me. I have some good ideas up in here *points in my head*. I just need to type it up. And PLEASE do help me with your reviews.**_

**The whole story takes place five years after high school. There's not a lot of catching up to do the characters are still the same, we'll add some in the mix. But definitely, Quinn, Rachel, Brittany and Santana are still quite the same as you remember them. **

CHAPTER 1: Tipsy

_Party last week. Another party last night. Another party tonight and she found herself a little tipsy over a few shots of tequila and martinis. She went out of the club deciding to walk home not minding the paparazzi following her just waiting for her to make just one drunken mistake._

This.

This is not how she pictured it to be nearly five years after leaving Lima and swearing in front of the entire Glee Club that she will be a Broadway star someday.

Looking at her life, she got what she always wanted – and everything she swore she will be: an admission in Julliard, small roles in Broadway during her college years and lead roles in several big musicals in Broadway right after college. She is everything that everyone in Glee Club envisioned her to be: _the _successful Rachel Berry.

She auditioned and got in to Julliard right after high school and lived in New York ever since college started. In between her college years, she took the lead roles in many of Julliard's school plays, definitely making and defeating a lot of rivals. She was also lucky to land a lot of small roles in many Broadway shows while she was studying.

Rachel eventually graduated as a standout and her in and out of school achievements served as her ticket to Broadway. Just a few weeks after she graduated from Julliard, she instantly landed the lead role in what was probably Broadway's biggest musical that year. With a consistent standing ovation every night, she became a star to watch out for and so were her next projects which always went full house.

She's becoming Broadway's next big thing and Rachel loved it. The typical Rachel Berry would brag about this and imagine how long the talking will be.

And in a snap, she could log in on Twitter and blab about how successful she is so that in case her McKinley school mates happen to come across her account, they would envy her and regret everything they did to her in high school.

But _the _Rachel Berry can't do it.

She can't brag about her life and her career because she knows how empty it is inside. Since getting out of Lima, she managed to get everything she wanted but none of it seemed to satisfy her.

_The _Rachel Berry is not happy no matter how much she seems to enjoy her life.

On happiness? Rachel knows she doesn't care about that anymore (or so she thinks). Whenever she feels lonely, she would just think to herself that to be great, you have to be lonely.

Whenever she feels alone, she would just sit in and have a few drinks or go out and have a lot of them. In a few months time, she became Broadway's resident party girl. The next day after her every party, photos of her will be all over the internet. Some are decent, others? Not too much.

However, her immeasurable talent and extreme potentials on stage always seem to save her from going down.

And despite the things shared above, Rachel Berry never admitted she was lonely. _The _Rachel Berry would always claim to be happy and perfect. And soon as she wakes up the next morning and once the hangover is gone, everyone will forget that _she is not happy_.

"Hey, Rachel!" the paparazzi called on her.

She looked behind her and found a growing number of paparazzi following her around. She turned and then flushed her biggest drunken smile ever as the men who took pictures laughed at the sight.

There were also a couple of "concerned" citizens who took videos of her being devastatingly drunk. And at one point, she could swear she heard someone said, "I am so posting this on Youtube."

After smiling for the paparazzi, she then continued to walk as the people still followed her. The high school Rachel Berry probably will love this: people following her, dying to get her attention. She can only recall high school when she's drunk.

When she's drunk she remembers every slushie, every mockery and every rush she felt in high school. She remembers all her Glee performances, all the wins and losses they got in competitions and then remembers nothing after high school, other than continuing to prove herself or others that she was worthy of something.

Out of nowhere, she felt tears run down her cheeks and as a result she walked faster so that the paparazzi won't capture the moment. If they did get a picture of her crying, then, the world will know that _the _Rachel Berry's life is not perfect and she doesn't want that to happen.

She kept walking fast until she's almost running. Her tears seemed to be in fast paced also. The more she ran, the more it hurt realizing that high school was the last time she ever felt alive.

Before she crossed the street, a yellow cab pulled up in front of her. As tipsy as she is and as her sight double figured, she tried to recognize the woman that got out of the backseat. If her senses aren't betraying her, she is so sure that the woman is a friend of hers.

The tall, sexy woman reached for Rachel as she assisted the drunken girl towards the cab.

Rachel held on to the woman's waist trying to gain balance as the girl continued to escort her. She looked up and smiled as she saw the woman's face smiling back at her.

"Time to go home, silly," the woman softly spoke.

Rachel once again flushed her huge silly smile and said, "Saving me again, Brit."


	2. Chapter 2: Ugly Mornings

**Author's Note: The storyline will be clearer to you guys, soon. You know, I'm quite a fan of taking things slowly so as we can feel the character's feelings towards the series of events by describing it slowly. When things go too fast, they tend to take the "real feelings" out. I guess as the author, I would like you to feel the same way the characters feel. It's the beauty of being a Faberry fan, there's too much emotions.**

**And I just have to say this. And I'm quite shy, but I was so very happy to read the first six reviews of my story. You know, I have been writing for years but never published it online or anywhere. It feels so good to actually know somebody thinks it's good, other than me. Yay! Thanks so much! :)  
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CHAPTER 2: Ugly Mornings

She woke up that morning at the blinding light that embraced her "very Berry" room. The walls were painted light pink with bits of golden stars in some odd places. The door to her bathroom was white and the door to what you can expect as an enormous closet was also white. The curtains were _of course _pink, but of shade that looks new even to Rachel.

Rachel remembered the day she was buying the curtain for her room. She debated – with herself – that it would be such a disadvantage because she knew that with the curtain's color and that it's very thin nature, things would really get ugly during the mornings when sun light escapes and hits her eyes. But then, her wanting to make things "very Berry" or maybe her obsession in pink still won despite the other side's reason.

She tried to cover her eyes with another pillow but she found it impossible to go back to sleep. In defeat, she sat by the side of the bed only to notice a glass of water and two painkillers on her side table. A note went with it and she read, "Morning, sunshine. Trouble's waiting downstairs. Haha! – Brit"

Rachel smiled at the mockery of "haha". She put the note back on the side table as she swallowed the bitter pills and drank the water to nearly all of it. She then took a deep breath, fixed her messed up hair with her hands and then went out of her room headed downstairs.

Halfway down the stairs, she looked at the two people seated on the sofa in the living room, their backs turned from her. She saw a bald man in an expensive-looking black coat and a woman beside her with long brunette hair. And again, she took a deep breath and found the courage to say, "Good morning." After greeting the two, she continued on and walked towards the kitchen and grabbed something hot to drink.

She didn't even bother to look if the two were indeed having a good morning. She's quite sure they aren't. _Brit's right, I'm in trouble._

After pouring coffee to her huge cup designed with gold stars, Rachel went back to the living room and as she entered the area, she saw scowled faces and meaningful stares are being thrown at her. She tightened her grip on the cup, as if it will change a thing.

"Good morning, Rachel bad ass Berry," the bald man said in a deep voice as he stood and started to pace. He was taller than Rachel, actually a lot taller than her. His body is fit and seems like he's been visiting the gym on a regular basis. His face has strong features especially his eyebrow that pretty much draws everything he feels at a single moment. And at that moment, Rachel knew what he feels isn't good.

"Do you realize now what you did last night?" the woman who was still sitting in the couch calmly asked.

"I was just having fun," Rachel started her explanation as she sat across the woman refusing to look her in the eyes.

"Rachel! This isn't fun!" the bald man said as he took out a tabloid and turned to the entertainment page and showed Rachel her huge photo of smiling silly drunk and was a lot wasted. The photo came with a headline that says "Another Wild Berry Night".

Rachel did her best not to laugh at the photo of hers in the tabloid. She pulled the tabloid out of the man's hand, folded it and slid it under the coffee table along with pile of newspapers and magazines.

She then placed her coffee cup on the table and stood. "Come on, it's just another day at the office. They'll get over it soon."

"You don't understand what is happening!" the man said in frustration slightly raising his voice for emphasis. "You are becoming a bigger mess, Rachel!" he continued. "First, there were photos of you walking down the streets with a whiskey bottle at hand, then you were seen snuggling with two guys again with a whiskey bottle at hand. The next weeks, you were seen walking along the streets too wasted to actually keep walking. Just last week, you were caught passing out because of alcohol in a hotel lobby. What's next, Rach?" he finished as he breathed heavily.

Rachel stood dumbfounded as the thoughts came flashing to her. Had she really been that bad?

"Probably, the next will be photos of her without underwear. Or maybe, she will be shaving her hair off," the woman joked.

_Who am I? The Broadway version of Britney Spears?_

"Look, Charles, I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again," she said hoping it would make everything alright.

"How many times have I heard that from you, Rachel?"disappointed Charles said as he sat back on the couch.

Now, Rachel was sure he is talking to Charles Adams, his manager. She knew because he's the only one who can make the sound of worry, anger, disgust and concern all in the same sentence.

The scenes came flashing right back as she remembered how she had attended small and huge parties almost four times a week during the past 6 months. And in all of these parties, she either passed out or was caught by the paparazzi in a very wasted scenario.

She's lucky if she took Charles or any other friend with her, but most of the time, she was alone and had to go home by herself. She's been all over the papers for the last few months not merely because of her exceptional Broadway shows but because of her hard-to-explain party obsession.

"So we came up with a punishment," the woman finally spoke.

_Oh no, are they gonna send me to Madagascar? _"What punishment?" Rachel asked trying to be cool but was nervous as hell. It was even accompanied by some occasional throbs in her head caused by her doings last night.

"We'll have you monitored starting next week," Charles said as he looked straight at Rachel.

Rachel thought,_ yeah right. As if you can do that! You're both busy handling other talents. There's no way you can guard me. _"Oooo-kay. How?" she then asked the two expecting confusion as an answer.

"We hired you a Publicist who will also be your assistant. She will keep an eye on you almost 24/7," Charles declared as if it was a valedictory speech.

It hit her. Like a plane crashed right over her and crushed her into pieces. _Oh yes, Rachel, you were that bad._

"W-w-wait. What?" Rachel freaked out as she stood pacing in front of the two. "Was I that bad? Was I too bad that think you can't tame me anymore and you hire some bullying person to do that? Oh God, how can you both be so heartless?"

"Heartless is how you've tortured us in the past few months while you are so busy ruining your life," Charles said flatly.

This totally shut Rachel up. _They are right._

"We care about you, Rach," Megan said as she stared right into Rachel's eyes and said a million words. "But we think, we can't handle you anymore because you've become so stubborn, you won't even listen to us."

"That's not true. You both know how much I care for you and respect you especially professionally," Rachel explained in a very Berry tone.

"We used to know that. But with what is happening lately, we are not so sure anymore," Megan said as Rachel swore she saw hurt in the woman's eyes.

Charles stood up and that meant the finality of the "punishment". Rachel stood and came face-to-face with Charles.

"Give me another chance," Rachel pleaded.

"That is what I am giving you, another chance," Charles said as he started to gather his things. "You're lucky we didn't consider sending you to rehab, at some point we thought you're rudely alcoholic."

Megan stood from the couch and started to gather her things, "We'll have you monitored for quite some time and have your Publicist-slash-assistant report to us everything that you do. She will be the judge whether you're being a good girl or the bad ass one."

"That is completely unfair!" Rachel said almost screaming her heart out. The thought of being under surveillance scared her. "And if she says I'm a bad girl? What will happen?" she asked totally scared of their answer.

"You'll have to start looking for a new manager," Charles said as he started to walk towards the front door.

"And a new stylist," Megan said as she did the same.

As shocked and nervous as she is, Rachel still managed to create a little plan of researching about her soon-to-be publicist so that she will know how to make her quit her job. "Can I at least know the name of my new life controller?"

"It's Quinn. Quinn Fabray."


	3. Chapter 3:Panic

**Author's Note: This chapter is somewhat full of fillers and background stories. Fillers as it may seem but there are little details in this chapter that is essential to the story. The next few ones are pretty intense so this is just a preparation. **

**I hope y'all like this chapter. I just expressed in this chapter the incredibleness that is Brittany Pierce. And again THANK YOU for the reviews. And I would appreciate them always, again and again.**

Right after Charles and Megan were out of sight, Rachel's body froze. Her mind went running 2000 miles per hour not walking down memory lane but running through it.

_Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray._

No matter how much she remembered the name, she couldn't change the memories. It's _Quinn Freakin' Fabray. _She's Quinn Fabray whose middle name is trouble. Quinn Fabray. _Quinn Fabray!_

Rachel's mind shouted at her, "Run! Run! Your life is over man hands!" But Rachel stood there, _"Maybe there's another Quinn Fabray in the world." _Yeah, maybe there's another one.

"Yeah, Rachel. "Quinn" is a common name, so as "Fabray". Yeah. It's another Quinn Fabray," Rachel said out loud still not moving from where she stood when Megan and Charles walked out.

Trying to convince herself, she went back to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water then drank nearly the half of it.

Rachel stared at one direction for a few moments with her eyes looking worried, terrified and all things her eyes can define "mixed emotions". Inside, she panicked.

Quinn Fabray is coming back in her life. Quinn Fabray, her life ruiner. Quinn Fabray, head Cheerio. Quinn Fabray, the… Quinn.

There was one part of her memory of Quinn that Rachel buried down her unconscious level. The part she doesn't want to remember anymore. Rachel held her fist tight fighting the urge to cry.

"Oh, God. Five years, Quinn. Five years," Rachel said as she sighed heavily as if the world is on her shoulders. _Five years? Maybe four._

Rachel's reminiscing was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing as footsteps coming her direction disturbed the silence of the room. A tall, long haired blonde girl stood in front of the kitchen entrance staring smilingly at her.

"How was sleep?" Brittany asked.

_Yes. _It is Brittany Pierce. They've been roommates since junior college. They went to Julliard together, when Brittany took up Dance as Rachel and – as Rachel Berry would – took up Music.

Despite their differences during high school, the two easily became good friends, which Rachel is most thankful for. As far as anyone is concerned, Rachel never had real friends in high school. Well, there was one phase in senior year that she had real good friends, but at some point, she threw it away.

_Now, that is also one part of her memory that she had buried in her unconscious level._

After sharing one good year as friends and roommates, the next year became a busy year for both of them. As they entered senior year in Julliard, they barely saw each as both of them got left and right offers in and out of the school. To describe, they were lucky if they get to spend time with each other three times a week. It was as if they lived in the same house, but was still so far from each other.

Things didn't get better after graduation because they immediately landed jobs. Brittany got busy choreographing different dance and Broadway shows. She also got to be on tour with one of the biggest music artists of the generation which took her away for three months. And while Rachel was making her way up Broadway, Brittany also made her way up the dance scene.

Whenever they spent time together, they will share a lot about their work and that's all they shared because either of them will go early to bed being too tired of the day's work. Still, they remained friends despite struggling to be in physical contact. This is one aspect of her life that Rachel thought how hard it was to work her way to the top because she realized that if she didn't spread herself largely, she will lose a lot.

And she knows she can't afford to lose Brittany. The girl cares so much about her because she always made an effort to call her and text her and be there for her when she needed it the most. And as no one would expect Brittany would be, she was the most caring and sensitive person Rachel ever knew.

Nonetheless, Brittany has been a very good friend to her ever since and especially now that she is going to this brand new phase in her life. And of course, with the news that she got this morning, she's gonna need Brittany now more than ever.

"Hey! Is everything okay?" Brittany asked again as she looked at Rachel quizzically.

This pulled Rachel back to Earth from her thoughts. "Yeah," she answered.

"You sure?" Brittany asked as she served herself a bottle of water, capped it open and sipped a bit. It was obvious she came from a run because she was wearing her favorite black sweatpants and her favorite white tank top that had a drawing of a duck.

Rachel smiled, "Yes. Sure."

"Rachel, when you are answering me with less than ten words, it scares me," Brittany said still surveying Rachel's unchanged expression.

"Do I really talk a lot?"

"Yeah, dear. You do. And I'm saying this like for the nth time."

Rachel nearly laughed. "Sorry, I'm still a bit shaken up."

"You drank way too much last night. I was lucky you still recognized me."

"Thanks for last night, Brit. You've picked me up a lot of times these past few months. God! How can I ever return the favor?"

Brittany just smiled the oh-no-not-a-big-deal smile then said, "It's not everyday that Brittany Pierce gets to be the hero."

Rachel smiled then gave her friend a quick hug, "You're the best, Brit."

"No biggie, Berry. By the way, will you be okay for today? You still look like you're too shaken up."

_No. _"Yes, I will be fine," Rachel said despite knowing that it's not the alcohol that shakes and scares her up.

"Well, I'm free for the day. And I believe you are, too."

"Yeah. I am. Would you like to do something like eat lunch outside or watch a movie? Angelina's got something goin'."

"I like that. Jolie is hot."

Rachel just smiled at her. If there's one thing that fascinates her about Brittany is her ability to give out compliments easily. She can tell a girl or boy that's they're looking good or hot. She can easily give people nice comments when they're performing well. Rachel finds this hard to do especially in Broadway but Brittany is different. She knows that there is no slightest bit of insecurity inside Brittany and if something never changed about this former Cheerio since high school, that's probably it.

"Well, I had a good run this morning. I'm just go gonna jump in the shower and then prepare breakfast. Any special request?"

"None in particular. Surprise me," Rachel challenged.

"I'm gonna cook a crocodile for you," Brittany joked as she made her way out of the kitchen to her room.


	4. Chapter 4: Little by Little

**Author's Note: I dunno why I so love this chapter. **** This is also an important chapter because despite Rachel's refusal to remember everything else, Brittany is being the most adorable friend ever.**

**Thank you for the reviews, people. I really appreciate it and followed the tips you gave me. And also, I am improving my tenses. I'll keep it on check. (Thanks for that comment.) Anyhow, please review.**

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><p>Rachel ate dinner unexplainably silent that night. When Brittany asked her why she wasn't ranting about rehearsals which she usually does, she just said that she's not in the mood for talking and by saying that, Brittany's eyes widened and said, "Oh my God. The world is coming to an end. Rachel Berry doesn't wanna talk."<p>

Rachel just smiled at this. Usually, when Brittany talks about her being so talkative, she would put up an argument that she "just wants to let all things out on the table" and how she doesn't want "things come unsaid".

Then, she told Brittany to tell her stories about her dance rehearsals lately and at that, Brittany began telling stories, mostly choking in between her words because of talking while her mouth was full.

After her third straight choke, Brittany then sipped an amount of water and coughed a little then said, "San used to stop me from talking while my mouth is full."

By hearing the name that Brittany hasn't mouthed for a while. She looked up to Brittany, who already stopped talking and whose eyes are wandering on the plate as if it has something very odd things in it.

Before Rachel could say something, Brittany looked up and smiled gently at Rachel. "Are you going out again tonight?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, I might get a few drinks," Rachel said as she got her attention back to her food and immediately thought that this drinking night could be the last.

"In that case, I will not sleep yet."

"Why?"

"I'll pick you up once you are done drinking your troubles away. And then you'll be okay."

Rachel smiled, touched by this very simple act of care from her friend.

Brittany has saved Rachel so many times in this phase of her life. She is the one that always picks her up when she's too drunk to remember the way home. And when she passed out in a hotel lobby last week, Brittany had to wrestle the paparazzi just to be able to take her home.

"How do you that, Brit?"

"Do what?" Brittany asked in a classic Brittany Pierce manner.

"Know where I am when I'm awfully drunk and save me before I humiliate myself more than I already have?"

"Oh, that?" Brittany said having an idea of what Rachel is asking. "Espionage," she smiled proudly then continued, "But I will not tell you how to do it. So you can't do it just in case I need my time alone. Just know that I'm always here for you, Rach."

Rachel looked straight into Brittany's eyes and felt the sincerity in them. And before she can stop herself, the words came out of her mouth, "Do you miss her?"

Brittany's forehead slightly drew confusion upon the sudden change of topic but she practically got who Rachel was talking about. She answered, "Yes. A lot."

"Have you heard from her lately?"

"Yeah. We've been exchanging emails sometimes."

Silence.

Brittany breaks the silence with the sound of her deep inhale and exhale. "I can't wait to see her," Brittany's voice trembled but she tried to keep it together. She then turned to Rachel and was about to bring a topic up but it seems that Rachel got the idea already and just as Brittany expected it – Rachel stood up and started to clear up the table. No words needed, she's avoiding it again.

Dinner passed and after watching a few episodes of Smallville, which Brittany _secretly _loved (shhh.. only Rachel knows), they both decided to do head to their respective rooms.

But before doing so, Brittany looked at Rachel then smiled. Rachel caught this and asked, "Why are you smiling?"

"I understand you now. Like, why you love Lana and Clark's story and why you want them to end up together," Brittany answered.

Rachel just looked at her waiting for the blonde to continue with the message.

The blonde eventually continued, "Well, Lana and Clark loved each other so much. But then, Lana decided to let Clark go because she wants him to fulfill his destiny – his destiny of being great."

This surprised Rachel. She didn't know Brittany was so much into the show. She thought that Brittany only loved the show because of its special editing during fight scenes.

"Lana and Clark would've been so great together, only if Clark fought for her," Rachel unconsciously said. And once she's done with the previous line, it hit her. _Brittany was trying to say something by bringing up the Clark-Lana thing._

"Yeah, you're right. If Clark was just brave enough to fight for her, they would've been so perfect together," Brittany said flatly still trying to send Rachel the message.

Rachel sighed and just shrugged at what her friend said. "Running away was his only option," Rachel then defended _Clark _hesitantly as she looked at her feet and stared at it.

"But Q-, Lana.. Lana would've been the only choice," Brittany said in a deep voice - and Rachel knows that Brittany isn't anymore talking about Smallville.

When Brittany noticed that Rachel wasn't anymore moving, she thought she was dead. But then convinced herself that if she was dead, she can't be standing anymore so she just decided to change the subject.

"You know why I love Lois and Clark?"

Rachel finally looked up as Brittany rejoiced inside her mind, _she's alive_. "Why?" Rachel asked.

"Because I adore how Lois and Clark were always meant for each other. You know that no matter where life will take them, at the end of the day, it will always be Lois and Clark," Brittany smiled gently and then continued, "Just like San and me."

Rachel aww-ed in her head and then aww-ed, loudly. She can't find words to explain how warm her heart felt upon hearing Brittany's last five words so she just hugged her tight.

"Good night, Rach and take care if you're still partyin' this late. I dunno if this will help but please, drink moderately," Brittany said while wrapped in Rachel's arms.

"Good night, Brit," Rachel said as she breaks the hug and smiles at her friend. Then she made her way to her room and shuts the door leaving Brittany alone in the living room.

Brittany then turned the remaining lights off as she made her way to her room just across Rachel's. She put the Smallville Season 8 DVD on top of her dresser, stares at it and smiles as memories rushed down at her.

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><p><em><strong>He next chapter is probably one of my favorite chapters, I actually found myself a little teary eyed while going through it. <strong>__** Thank y'all.  
><strong>_


	5. Chapter 5: Lois and Clark

**Author's Note: I had to follow up this chapter right away so the mood won't be violated. This is probably one of the better chapters. I dunno, I was actually teary eyed after writing this and when those lines hit you, I literally "awww" at what I have written. LOL. Thanks again for the reviews, I am soooo happy. **

_**Since Rachel is still not up to giving us the deets, I decided why not we take a look at Santittany first? **_

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><p><em>McKinley High Graduation Day, Five Years Ago<em>

_As the ceremony ended and everyone was done receiving their diplomas and bowing in front of their batchmates, the now-alumni of McKinley high gathered in the school grounds meeting classmates and exchanging goodbye hugs._

_ After she talked to some other bunch of Cheerios, she found Santana talking to Karofsky as the Latina seemed to be saying mean goodbyes to the guy. Brittany then made her way to the two and soon as Santana recognizes that she's within a feet or two she smiled at Karofsky and said, "Try to get a life". Santana smiled and waved him goodbye as Karofsky did the same to the two of them._

_ Once he was gone, the two Cheerios faced each other, held hands and then hugged each other tightly. As always, Santana makes Brittany's heart jump out of its place. They stayed in each other's arms for the next few minutes until Santana found the words._

_ "I love you, B," she whispered._

_ "I love you, too, S. You know that," Brittany said as she tried to keep the tears from falling._

_ Santana breaks the hug and looks straight into Brittany's eyes, "Then be with me."_

_ This broke Brittany's heart into pieces but she kept her composure. "I can't, San. I'm going to New York, you are headed for LA and great things!"_

_ "I can come with you," Santana pleaded._

_ "No, S. You've been with me all my life and protecting me, loving me like no one else can and I know, that I will never be loved by anyone as much as you love me. And you have to know that there's no way, I can love anyone as much as I love you."_

_ "Why can't we be together?" Santana asked as tears started to fill her eyes._

_ "Because, we love each other so much that the world will explode if we collide," Brittany joked then smiled._

_ "Seriously, B," the Latina said in a serious manner._

_ "We can't be together. YET," Brittany said looking straight into Santana's eyes assured of the message she's trying to send. "I want to deserve you," Brittany's once composed voice suddenly trembled._

_ The Latina's eyes widened in search for the words to say; but even before she could utter the words, the blonde continued._

_ "You know, every night, when I am talking to the ducks, the toy ducks in my bed, I always ask them if I did something so right for the gods to send you to me. Right? How did I ever get so lucky to have someone who will jump in front of a bullet for me without second thoughts?"_

_ Santana swore she will never cry on graduation but apparently the promise has been broken, she's now in tears listening to the speech of the girl she loved all her life._

_ "I'm just the dumb blonde in this school, but of all the dumb blondes, I must be the luckiest. It's not everyday that you can find Santana Lopez and have her behind your back, always," Brittany smiled in spite of tears now running down her face._

_ Her speech continues, "I love you, San and I want to deserve you. Sometimes, I also want to be the stronger one, and I am being as strong as I can be right now." She then, wiped the tears off the Latina's face and smiled._

_ "I broke up with Artie," she revealed as the Latina's face lighten up. "It's because I love you, and if I love you and I'm not with you, it would be unfair if I am with someone else. Textbook logic."_

_ This kind of Brittany moments are moments that Santana always treasures, Brittany has this priceless facial expression that only comes when she thinks she had said something incredibly smart._

_ "I will go to New York, be something else, something more for you," Brittany said still looking straight into Santana's eyes._

_ "You don't need to, B. You're more than enough," Santana replied as her heart melted with Brittany's stare that she is seeing for the first time. _

_ "No, S. You deserve more than someone who is hiding in your shadows. I'm not doing this just for you, I'm doing this for myself because if there's anything I want in my life aside from being like Aristotle which I totally gave up a few years back, it would be to spend my life with you."_

_ Santana swears this is the first time she'd ever seen Brittany so sure of what she's saying._

_ "And when I pray every night, I always pray to Him that you'll be the person I spend the rest of my life with no matter what. But the ducks told me-"_

_ "The ducks told you?"_

_ "Yeah, in my sleep. I think the force above sent the ducks in my dreams to make me realize that I can only be with you if I think I already deserve you," Brittany smiled as she held both of Santana's hands._

_ "S."_

_ "B?"_

_ "I promise, someday, when we meet again… Brittany Pierce will be deserving of Santana Lopez and her love."_

_ Santana's entire body weakened as tears ran down her face faster._

_ "I just hope that if that day comes, Santana Lopez is still madly in love with Brittany Pierce just like she is right now."_

_ Santana smiled and gently said, "I've fallen harder for that Brittany Pierce right now. And I never thought I could fall even harder."_

_ "That's cheesy," Brittany said as her face went back to the same old adorable Brittany Pierce that Santana Lopez thinks is the most incredible creation on Earth._

_ "I promise to still love you until that day comes," Santana says._

_ "Pinkie promise?"_

_ "Pinkie promise. And will you promise me that, that day will come soon."_

_ "It will come. Pinkie promise," Brittany promised._

_ And at that, Santana met Brittany's lips. And they shared a moment they both wished would last forever._

As Brittany finished her walk down memory lane, she thought about Rachel for a while. She seriously thinks sometimes that Rachel hit her head on the toilet floor making her forget her past. She always wondered how Rachel was able to repress her memories of significant things that occurred in her past.

She shook her head and smirked as she turned on the TV and lounged in her bead waiting for some alerts that Rachel Berry is once again having a wild night out.


	6. Chapter 6: Slightly Deeper

**A/N: So, it took quite some time to update. Sorry! I have finished quite half the story but is still trying to figure out what to add and what to not add. Bad ass Berry is lovely Berry. HAHA.**

**I hope you like this chapter. Very light, because the next few ones are emotional tortures. (Awh. Spoiler. LOL)**

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><p>While Brittany was waiting for Twitter alerts to report where Rachel is, she smiled as she remembered being asked by Rachel to be roommates with her back in junior college.<p>

Rachel came up to her one day in her dance rehearsals, and Rachel without halting said that it was silly and stupid for two schoolmates and former Glee clubbers to be in the same city, to be in the same school and not be roommates.

So, without second thought, she said yes to Rachel's proposal of being roommates since that would be a big relief for her expenses. Rachel owned the place which was bought by her dads and the brunette promised she doesn't have to pay for rent. Rachel even joked that she has to save it so she can have her regular ear check-up because once she starts living with her, she will have firsthand experience of machine gun mouth.

She always liked Rachel, even in high school. She liked how Rachel confidently presents herself despite being greatly bullied by her co-Cheerios and the entire school as well. Brittany compares her to a grape.

Yes, a grape.

Grapes, Brittany thought are crushed and minced and diced and juiced but in the end it becomes a delicious wine and as time passes, it becomes classy and even better. And you'll be amazed that the fine wine right in front of you was once a bullied grape.

(Sssshhh. Brittany always finds this comparison a genius. When she talks about it, she can't help but be proud of herself.)

Meanwhile, Rachel is already inside a really popular bar in Manhattan. She wanted to erase that memory of her talk with Brittany earlier so she indulged herself in tequila and some party dancing.

With her eyes closed due to some alcohol effect, her one hand holding a shot of tequila she still hasn't drank and with the other hand in the air dancing to a Rihanna song, a shot of the past unexpectedly came down to her.

_First Day, Senior Year in McKinley High_

_ As any regular first day in high school, everyone came early before first period so they can catch up with their friends about how they spent their summer._

_ Rachel wasn't really excited about this day but the fact that this is her last first day as a McKinley out cast, she tried giving it a shot and decided to come with Tina when she invited her to spend some early time in the choir room to catch up with Mike, Mercedes and Kurt._

_ Before she went to the choir room, she headed straight to her locker for a reason she doesn't know. She opened her locker and just stared at the things in there. She then glanced at a mini-poster of Barbra Streisand inside her locker and smiled at it as if she was real._

_ "Berry!" an ugly voiced guy called from some feet away and as she closed her locker, her eyes found Karofsky with a slushie at hand and Rachel thought that this would be her last first day slushie._

_ Soon as she realized Karofsky was walking hurriedly towards her, she closed her eyes in anticipation of the coming events. A few seconds later, she felt nothing. Curious, she bravely peeked using one eye and saw a brunette in front of her in a Cheerio uniform._

_ She opened her eyes and realized it was Santana. She opened her eyes even more widely when she realized it was indeed Santana!_

_ "Seriously, Karofs-kid?" Santana said with her hands on her hips and her tone much very Santana-ish._

_ "Head bitch says, Berry here is off limits," Santana said getting the slushie from Karofsky's hand and splashing it right to his face. This dropped Rachel's jaw to the ground._

_ Pissed Karofsky just screamed in disgust while trying to get rid of the slushie bits on his face, "What the hell, Santana?"_

_ "It's simple giant, no slushies on Berry. Stupid. And it is extended to the other members of Glee Club. It's what ye Queen said," Santana finished as she turned to Rachel with raised eyebrows._

_ "San-" Rachel tried to speak but Santana cut it._

_ "No, RuPaul. No thanks. I mean Berry, no thanks. Don't even think it's a start of your new found BFF relationship. Just doin' what head bitch said," Santana cleared as she stormed out of Rachel's way._

_ And soon as Santana walked towards her two other friends, Rachel saw the smaller of the two blondes staring at her and looks satisfied for whatever reason she's not sure of. As Santana reached the two of them, they turned around and walked away like old times._

_ Rachel stood there not with any idea of what just happened. But she was sure of what she heard, "Head bitch says, Berry is off limits."_

When someone bumps on her hard, she lost her balance but she welcomed herself back to present time. Again, that is one part of her high school memory that she only remembers when she's drunk, because it is buried way below her unconscious level along with other significant memories (that her conscious self considers insignificant).

Alarmed with the sudden bump, she quickly states "Watch it RuPaul!" Rachel smiled at the sight of the disgusted woman who accidentally bumped at her.

"That actually feels good," she told herself as she drank her shot of tequila while trying to maintain balance in the middle of a crowded dance floor.

It was by three in the morning that Rachel felt tired of drinking and dancing so she headed outside the bar and an always familiar sight unfolded in front of her.

She drank way too much that she thinks there's a "crowd" of paparazzi outside or maybe it's just her sight again doing double figures. She walked outside still perfectly imbalanced and once outside she stopped trying to figure out whether to go left or right.

She decided to go left (when in fact the way to her home is to the right). Half-way down the left track, she realized it was the wrong way and laughed off as she shifted direction and went back to the right track.

Her laugh was contagious. It is her signature laugh that her fans adore when she's doing live interviews. It's that same laugh only that it looked so damn funny right now, because her hair is a mess, she can't walk straight, she's too drunk and she's silly.

While walking, the paparazzi followed her again waiting for another mistake. Influenced by alcohol, she actually talked to one of the photographers and said, "I think you're cute," then laughed as if it was a stupid joke.

She continued to walk down the street and then came into a sudden full stop. Still trying to gain her balance, she looked up as if talking to the sky, "You playin' a joke on me?"

She walked again and then suddenly screamed fast, "Damn you Quinn Fabray for coming back to my liiiiiife!"

Before the last word faded, she felt a familiar warmth that embraced and held her tight in the waist. She looked only to see a smirking Brittany.

"Hi, Brit," she did that silly smile again.

"Hi, silly. Time to go home," the blonde dancer said as she assisted Rachel inside the cab and soon as that, they were gone.

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 7: The chapter we've all been waiting for.<br>**_


	7. Chapter 7: Judgment Day

**Author's Note: This is it! The moment we've all been waiting for. Thanks for the reviews people! It's been amazing. Appreciated! Very much! And this is unfairly long. Sorry.**

**Oh well, this is now the start of going back to the past while we are looking ahead to Rachel and Quinn's future.**

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><p>The weekend went by swiftly despite Rachel knowing that Monday is gonna change her life. She planned on telling Brittany about the whole publicist thing but since she knows how good friends Quinn and Brittany are, so she decided to keep things a secret and just surprise the dancer on Monday.<p>

Despite this whole thinking over, Rachel thought she wasn't ready for the encounter with the former HBIC or maybe still the HBIC. So, on Sunday night, she went to a nearby music bar, sang a couple of karaoke songs and then drank a lot of liquor.

She was tipsy enough to have Brittany pick her up _literally _because she was sitting hopelessly on the gutter of the sidewalk as the paparazzi took photos of her and this, this scene with Rachel Berry sitting hopelessly drunk on the sidewalks – is a new low.

She passed out and the next thing she knew, it was 6:30 in the morning as her clock said. It's Monday. _Yes, it's Monday._

With her head throbbing a little, she sat still on the bed after she turned her alarm off. She could feel movement in the living room and she knows what this means. Suddenly, the morning sun light beaming in her room doesn't hurt, it gives her hope that maybe, just maybe, it will be a good day after all.

It's Monday! _Oh God, I never appreciated Rebecca Black ever but I wish it is Friday! _

Again, with her favorite debate partner – herself, they debated if she should go out there that soon or just hide and pretend not to remember anything.

She was forced to go down her repressed memories and recalled how terrible Quinn has put her into in high school and at that, she realized that she should not be afraid anymore. _She knows very well that it's not the reason she's terrified at the moment. Repressed memories, still keeping them._

Rachel sighed and then straightened up, "I'm the boss now. No one can push me around anymore."

"That's right, Rachel Berry. You are _the _Rachel Berry," Rachel answered herself mimicking a deeper voice as if it was another person speaking.

She went back to herself and then stood up, "What am I so afraid about?"

While she was making her way downstairs she can't help but stare at her feet or to say correctly, she can't stomach looking at the scene that is to unfold in front of her.

She expects a Quinn Fabray in a Cheerios uniform, arms folded in front of her chest greeting her, "Good morning, man hands."

As Rachel reached the bottom of the stairs, she finally looked up and saw only Megan and Charles. She looked around and searched for a blonde cheerleader but she was nowhere to be seen.

"She's not yet here, Rachel," Charles, who was sitting in the recliner, said as he figured out who Rachel was looking for.

"Her call time is seven," Megan backed up.

"Way to be late," Rachel bitterly uttered.

"Don't you want to be free for the last ten minutes, Rach?" Charles teased.

"Funny, Charles," Rachel said as she stormed to the kitchen and filled her favorite cup with black coffee. Pure. _She only does this when she's too nervous._

She was concentrating on her coffee when the doorbell rang. She heard someone get the door and when she heard Charles say, "Good morning, Quinn," she nearly dropped the cup that she needed to use her free hand to save it.

She heard footsteps reach the living room and man, she never felt so scared her entire life. She sighed heavily as she counted her steps out of the kitchen. Her heart pounded so hard that she thought it sounded like a ringtone.

Rachel reached the living room with her eyes looking at her feet trying to dramatically postpone the reunion.

"Rachel," Megan called. "This is Quinn Fabray, your Publicist and Assistant," Megan finished the sentence.

Rachel slowly looked up, apparently hearing drum rolls. When her head is lifted enough, she saw, right there standing in front of her, _the_ Quinn Fabray. Rachel stood there just looking at Quinn who was wearing a baby blue dress that hang up to the above of her knee. The dress was topped by a beautiful expensive-looking white cardigan. Her hair wasn't tied in a ponytail just like how Rachel expected it rather, her blonde locks were all neatly let down.

Her knees are now betraying her, they're growing weak at the sight of Quinn, still being the most beautiful girl she's ever seen. And thinking just about that. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh God._

Seconds went on, but there was nothing but silence. Rachel stood there just looking at her former life tormentor. _Or maybe her former…_

Rachel's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the voice she hadn't heard for years.

"Good morning, Ms. Berry. I'm Quinn Fabray," Quinn extended her hands to Rachel for shake hands and Rachel stood there just staring at the hand.

She looked at the hand, then to Quinn as Quinn flashed the same smile she smiled when she won Prom Queen back in senior high. As she once again saw _that smile…_

_ Rachel felt her heart melt. _Rachel's face remained straight. She reached for the hand and shook it. And as their hands touched…

_Rachel's body froze with a familiar feeling she also buried down her unconscious level. _She tried so hard to smile and then lets go of Quinn's hand.

Breaking the ice, Charles asked in confusion, "I thought you two went to McKinley high together?"

"Yes, we did," Quinn said with gentle smile.

"Why is the introduction seemingly eerie?" Megan asked pulling Rachel to her side as she motioned Quinn and Charles to sit across them. Rachel sat frozen beside Megan while Charles and Quinn sat comfortably across them.

"Well, I thought maybe, Ms. Berry here doesn't remember me anymore. You know, time passes and we forget things," Quinn gracefully replied.

The calmness in her voice and her voice itself had always confused Rachel. Quinn can be the Head Bitch In Charge, but when she speaks, it almost sounds like an entire different person.

"As if someone forgets the Head Cheerleader," Megan said probably remembering her high school days.

After Megan spoke, the room dropped in a complete silence. Charles was looking at Rachel, Rachel at Quinn, Quinn somewhere else and Megan definitely still reminiscing.

The silence was broken when the door of Brittany's room swung open and the blonde came out of it.

Everyone turned to her and she smiled at everyone and greeted while making her way to the kitchen, "Good morning, Rach, Charles, Megan. Good morning, Quinn."

_She doesn't realize it._

Upon uttering the last name she spoke of, Brittany stopped and turned to the four of them. Quinn stood up, smiling radiantly that Rachel thought she was an angel. _Did I just think that?_

Then, Brittany looked around processing the information. When she realizes it, she flushes the hugest smile she had in years and then ran towards Quinn, shrieking. Once close enough, she pulled Quinn into a tight hug that didn't feel as if she was ever letting go.

"Oh my God, Q! I am so surprised," Brittany exclaimed still hugging Quinn.

Everyone in the room giggled as well as Rachel who is now getting her nerves calm.

Brittany breaks the hug from Quinn and turns to Rachel, "You knew about this."

For the first time that morning, Rachel smiled a _real _smile. "Yes, but I wanted it to be surprise for you," Rachel said looking at Brittany as she saw Quinn smiling behind her. She tried to disregard the latter.

She was really happy to see Brittany happy.

Charles and Megan stood. "I think, it's time for us to leave. As I see it, you girls have a lot of catching up to do," Charles said as the two went out of sight.

After watching Charles and Megan close the front door, Brittany jumped into Quinn again for another hug.

"Oh, God! Q! I have never seen you so beautiful as you are right now!"

"You too. Even if you're obviously fresh from a good night's sleep," Quinn said as she looked at Brittany, motioning the dancer to turn around to take a complete look at her. Quinn then focused to Rachel who was still statue-like on her seat looking at the two former Cheerios.

Quinn smiled at Rachel, "You too, Berry. You're stunning."

Rachel could feel herself blush. _No! My body is betraying me!_

"Thank you, Quinn. You too, you look beautiful. As always," Rachel said in a very Rachel-Berry-with-her-guards-up tone.

"I am so calling work and I will tell them that one of my ducks died," Brittany said as she skipped towards her room.

"They think you have ducks?" Rachel asked finally taking her eyes off Quinn for the first time as she looked at Brittany.

"Yeah. I told them that I consider ducks as babies. So they will totally understand that if one them died, their duck sitter which is me will be mourning with their mother duck," Brittany explained.

Quinn and Rachel smiled fascinated at Brittany's enthusiasm. The taller blonde disappeared as she entered her room.

Silence. Rachel looked at Quinn, Quinn looked at Rachel.

Then, Brittany peeped out from her room and called on Quinn.

"Q."

Quinn, as well as Rachel, turned to Brittany.

"Yes, B?"

"I'm calling the cops," Brittany said playfully.

"Why?" Quinn asked.

She smiled her sweetest smile and said, "It's gotta be illegal to look that good!" Brittany declared then disappeared back inside her room laughing.

Unable to understand what just happened, Quinn turned to Rachel who also turned to her, "Was that a pick up line?"

Both girls fell into comfortable laughter. _Thank you, Brit. You've saved me again._

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 8: A song will bring back memories to both Q and R. Hints of the past ladies and gents. :P<strong>_


	8. Chapter 8: Maybe This Time

**Author's Note: This is chapter will give you the clues of what really happened in the past. Of course, our Brittany here had the best idea ever. HAHA. Thanks for the reviews! Very much appreciated. It still makes me so happy when I read your comments.**

**And as for those requesting Santana, just wait for her comeback. I'm gonna make sure her reunion with Brittany will be just as heartwarming as their Graduation Scene. Thanks y'all!**

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><p>Brittany heard the girls laugh as she sat by the bed and reached for her phone but even before she got hold of it, a silly idea came across her <em>brilliant <em>mind.

She took her iPod out of her dresser and connected it to the speakers and set the volume at its maximum as she made sure that whatever she will be playing, it would be heard by the two girls mingling awkwardly in the living room.

She smiled as she pressed play.

_**Two old friends meet again**_

_**Wearin' older faces**_

_**And talk about the places they've been**_

As the song played, Quinn and Rachel fell into a complete silence. The smile on Rachel's face painted something really… unexplainable. Even Rachel didn't know if she would laugh, shrug it off or just not say anything.

Quinn seemed to be cool.

_God! Why can't I see any emotion, Quinn? _Of course, that was just on Rachel's mind.

_**Two old sweethearts who fell apart**_

_**Somewhere long ago**_

_**How are they to know**_

_**Someday they'd meet again**_

_**And have a need for more than reminiscin'**_

Hearing the lyrics, Rachel felt butterflies inside her stomach. Maybe it's because of those memories she's still repressing. In fact, just hearing the song makes her want to go back to those memories. But the wiser lobe of her brain stops her from dripping the memories out.

Quinn just sat still, listening to the song.

_**Maybe this time**_

_**It'll be lovin' they'll find**_

_**Maybe now they can be more than just friends**_

_**She's back in his life**_

_**And it feels so right**_

_**Maybe this time, love won't end**_

"_That's it!" _Rachel thought. She tried to stand up after thinking that was it but her body froze when she saw Quinn smile. _Someone has to stop smiling!_

"I love that song," Quinn said as if she really loved it.

Rachel smirked, not knowing how to react.

_**It's the same old feeling back again  
>It's the one that they had way back when<br>They were too young to know when love is real**_

Rachel could feel a pinch in her heart.

Quinn sat still.

_**But somehow, some things never change  
>And even time hasn't cooled the flame<br>It's burnin' even brighter than it did before  
>It got another chance, and if they take it...<strong>_

_**Maybe this time**_  
><em><strong>It'll be lovin' they'll find<strong>_  
><em><strong>Maybe now they can be more than just friends<strong>_  
><em><strong>She's back in his life<strong>_  
><em><strong>And it feels so right<strong>_  
><em><strong>Maybe this time, love won't end<strong>_

Both of the girls fell into a meaningful silence as the second verse and chorus of the song played. Inside her room, Brittany stood there thrilled that she's hearing nothing from the girls. She's sure none of them walks out yet.

Brittany is sure she had hit them right down that place in their past.

Rachel could feel something approaching her eyes from the inside; she thinks they call it tears. She multitasked with those eyes: stopping the tears and looking at Quinn. Finally, Quinn's once cool and composed facial expression turned into something else.

Quinn sat still. Quinn is still composed. _At least on the outside._

_**Maybe this time**_

_**It'll be lovin' they'll find**_

_**Maybe now they can be more than just friends**_

_**She's back in his life**_

_**And it feels so right**_

_**Maybe this time, love won't end**_

_And it feels so right. Maybe this time… _Rachel began singing along to the song in her mind.

Quinn smiled at the sight of Rachel who's obviously singing along to the song at the back of her mind.

_**She's smilin' like she used to smile way back then**_

Rachel caught her smiling. _And she feels a wierd kind of rush._

_**She's feelin' like she used to feel way back when**_

_**They tried, but somethin' kept them**_

_**Waiting for this magic moment**_

For the first time since the song started playing, Rachel smiled.

The song continued on up to its final notes. The chorus still hits Rachel like a plane crash. Quinn has a changed expression – seemingly uneasy – but then there's still lack of emotions.

_Maybe this time, love won't end. _Rachel sighed.

It was just a full-length song but the minutes seemed like eternity to Rachel. She can't wait until she's alone with Brittany and confront her for doing this. But she's not mad, she's feeling entirely different.

Quinn still sat there, almost emotionless.

A few more seconds of complete silence, Quinn stood and faced Rachel.

Flat and emotionless, Quinn asked "So, Ms. Berry. Can we talk about work now?"

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><p><em><strong>**Music: Maybe This Time by Michael Murphy (Oh yea, oldies. Classics.)<strong>_

_**For Chapter 9: Rachel finally starts to let us in! xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9: What happens now?

**Author's Note: Thank you all for reading and **_**reviewing **_**this story! Personally, I am way too excited about posting the next chapters because the unveiling of the past events are soon to happen.**

**Well, in this chapter, Rachel decides to go back to those memories – slowly but surely. And here we have the probable continuation of Santana and Brittany's story. Hope y'all like this chapter and please review. Thanks! **

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><p>"That can wait, Quinn," Rachel stood finally deciding to control the situation. She's the boss after all.<p>

Quinn's face painted disagreement, "Ms. Berry, we do not have much time." Quinn browsed on her iPad as she showed a list of Rachel's responsibilities and tasks for the day and the entire week.

Rachel had never seen her this way before. Quinn is now, somewhat lighter. She wore the same beautiful face minus the angst, minus the attitude. She's calm, rested _and beautiful_.

"You need to be at the theatre by three pm today. You need to work on the finale dance number. I talked to Charles about this project and I am thrilled to let you know that you are way too far from perfecting the routine," Quinn said very business-ly.

This stunned Rachel. For a moment, she thought that she saw herself talking. But this rambling _beautiful girl _in front of her wasn't her reflection in the mirror. It's Quinn.

Quinn continued to browse on Rachel's schedule listed in her iPad. "Then, after your three-hour rehearsals for the day, you're free."

Before Rachel could speak, Quinn raised a hand stopping the brunette from saying anything.

"Before anything else," Quinn continued as she looked at Rachel from head to toe, then back up, "we need to get you some breakfast."

Rachel smiled.

As Quinn headed towards the kitchen, Rachel heard her say, "Why do you always have to forget when to eat?"

She said it way too soft, she almost whispered but Rachel was sure of what she heard. _This is still Quinn._

And alas! The key to Rachel's locked memories were found and it is opening slowly. The first thing it reminded Rachel was the blonde's voice way back in senior high, a few months before graduation… the one period in time when Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry were inseparable.

_"Quinn! What are you doing here so early?"Rachel said after she opened the door and saw the blonde right in front of her house. It was six am and Quinn is all sweaty from an obviously successful run._

_ Even if she was a bit breathing heavily due to fatigue of running a couple of streets from her home to the bakeshop then to the Berry's, Quinn still said, "I came to drop these." Quinn then handed Rachel a brown paper bag._

_ "What are these?"Rachel said as she opened the paper bag and saw her favorite vegan bagels and a small cup of coffee. She took out one of the two bagels and saw that it was designed with a smiley on top of it._

_ In between breaths, Quinn said, "I designed them. Told ya Berry, I suck at drawings." She almost laughed as Rachel quickly pulled her into a tight hug._

_ "These are cute Quinn! Totally adorable," Rachel said after breaking the hug and went back to staring and adoring how such bagels look so special now. She doesn't wanna eat them. Rachel then looked back at Quinn who is looking at her smilingly, "Thank you, Quinn."_

_ "No problem! I nearly died yesterday when you went blank and you said you didn't eat anything for breakfast that's why you felt so weak," Quinn explained._

_ It's weird. But now knowing that the blonde cares about her, her stomach is suddenly not empty. She thinks it has butterflies inside._

_ "Would you like to come inside and have breakfast?" Rachel offered._

_ "No, thanks. I have to get ready for Cheerios practice," Quinn said getting prepped up for another run back home._

_ "Is this what you only came here for?"_

_ "Yes. I had to make sure you eat something before you go to school. So, please return the favor and start dwelling on them now before those smiley's turn into frowns," Quinn said as she smiled once more._

_ Rachel doesn't know which side of the bed Quinn woke up that morning, but whichever side it is, she hoped she'd wake up on that side forever._

_ "So, I guess, I got Rachel Berry speechless," Quinn said teasingly. "Bye, Rach. See you later," Quinn said as she turned around and started jogging._

_ But even before she sped up, she turned to Rachel. And even if she was a few feet away, the diva was sure Quinn was looking into her eyes._

_ "From this day forward, Rachel Berry, I promise. You'd never have to take care of yourself alone. I'll help you with that," Quinn said and smiled then finished, "even if I have to draw smileys every morning."_

_ With that, Quinn ran and turned the corner. She's now out of sight but her smile, the warmth from the hug earlier and the promise lingered on to Rachel's life system. And for the first time in her life, she believed everything is right._

"Rachel!" Brittany called and she's back to Earth.

They are now in the dining area, sharing the breakfast that Quinn prepared for them. Rachel realized that she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice that Brittany and Quinn were almost done with their breakfast.

"Are you gonna eat those?" Brittany asked pointing at Rachel's 85-percent-untouched sweet potato as if she wants to eat them.

Like a kid defending her ice cream, Rachel pulled her plate away from Brittany who almost grabbed it.

Quinn smiled at how her _friends _were acting.

"Of course, I'm gonna eat them!" Rachel said as she put her plate back to place and started eating. She then continued, "Quinn prepared this."

They spent the rest of the morning just talking and reminiscing about high school and Glee. The awkwardness that started the morning slowly faded in between the conversation which Rachel gives the credit to Brittany. She was and still is her comic relief when tension rises inside her head.

With the talk shifting to the Glee club members. Rachel and Brittany knew from Quinn that Finn extended his year in college just so he can still play for Ohio State U, even if he was just the reserve QB.

They also talked about Kurt and Blaine who just graduated from NYU's Tisch School of Arts and are currently pursuing small roles in Broadway, which completely confused Rachel because she never heard of them.

Brittany defended that they are also making their way and Rachel was just so into herself that's why she never noticed.

Sam is still in Lima pursuing a local singing career and is pretty huge in there. Artie and Tina got married just a year ago and is currently busy putting up their own pre-school in Lima. Mercedes like the last three is still in Lima, hoping to get to the next round of her American Idol auditions.

Mike continued his love for dancing and is now one of Usher's go-to-dancers during his tours. Puck owns a series of karaoke bars in Boston and no matter how much he wanted to put up a kick ass pub, he just can't run away from his love of music.

The tension rose as only one person was left to talk about. The three of them knew that she went to UCLA with Quinn. Quinn took up Communication Studies while she took up Medicine.

The unnamed person shared the dorm with Quinn. But now that Quinn is New York, Rachel and Brittany wondered how she's doing right now.

"She's transferred to NYU," Quinn revealed as Rachel's eyes widened while Brittany's eyes glowed, sparkled… Quinn can't find the words to explain the look in Brittany's eyes but it was positive. It is something she saw in her friend's eyes in high school.

"Does that mean-"Rachel was about to ask but Quinn interrupted.

"Santana's here in New York. We're roommates actually."

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 10: Rachel and Quinn starts working together. Can you imagine its effect on Rachel's attitude? xoxo<strong>_


	10. Chapter 10: Rachel's New Path

**Author's Note: I just want to thank all of those who reviews this story. Very much appreciated. And things are starting to get really interesting. It's always so weird when my writing self attacks at work! I literally had to write a whole chapter in an actual notepad. (Sucks! We aren't allowed to use our computers for non-work related stuffs.)**

**Oh God, sorry about rambling. HAHAHA. But anyway, as I see it, a lot of people miss Santana already. Just wait for it. Our Brit is planning something, yay! Ooops, BTW, this is the 10****th ****published chapter but I just finished the 15****th**** (in my notepad!). So yeah, I just can give you the guarantee that Brit and San will be very interesting as Q and R hmmm.. **

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><p>Breakfast passed unusually happy for both Rachel and Brittany. It was nice having Quinn around. Before lunch approached, Brittany had to come to rehearsals and check the routines she choreographed but made Quinn promise to come by for dinner tonight. She was so upset they didn't buy her duck-related excuse.<p>

Quinn had to run errands and had to leave Rachel alone first but promised her to show up at rehearsals to meet her co-stars and the staff of the show that the diva is working on.

While Brittany and Quinn seemed to be okay with this, Rachel doesn't know what hit her.

She was all so tough that morning trying to pretend she was okay, then she started reminiscing and now it feels very McKinley-High-days. It feels weirdly good.

Rachel was there packing her things for rehearsals but her mind fleeted somewhere in between that very moment and the moment she locked eyes with her for the first time in years.

She realized that Quinn is still Quinn. She still says mean but honest comments about things and even just by looking at her, Rachel can see the guard in the blonde's actions. She can still feel the thick walls that Quinn surrounded herself which Rachel thought she tore apart a few years back.

But there was something about Quinn that hasn't changed aside from her _beautiful face_. Rachel can't tell yet but she's sure something in that Quinn Fabray that brought her breakfast a few years back still remains inside the Quinn Fabray who is now her Publicist.

That afternoon, Rachel came to rehearsals in a good mood.

Upon entering the door of the dance studio, she felt eyes stare at her heavily. She heard murmurs. She got confused because she was sure she heard laughs and happy people inside before she got in. The mood apparently changed when she entered.

She walked towards her usual spot for warming up and as she walked, people parted like the red sea. They stared at her as she made her way.

Rachel used to love this. This was her idea of respect and adoration; pretty much because some head cheerleader in high school made her feel this is the way it should be. _Love you or hate you, they respect you._

As she began stretching she looked back at how she's been acting around her colleagues. She smirked upon the realization, _bad ass Berry. Bad ass._

Since starting her career in Broadway after graduating in Julliard, she had been the "diva" she always wanted to be.

She will come on time during rehearsals, follow instructions and stun people on performance nights.

But in between these are yelling and bossing at people. When she's rehearsing her song number, she doesn't want to hear any noise aside from the instruments and the director's voice. Otherwise, the one who will be caught making the unnecessary noise will regret it forever.

When Rachel is rehearsing her lines, she hates to do a scene over and over. She's good at acting, memorizing lines and crying on cue. When his co-actor messes up with his lines, his acting or his blocking, it would be okay if the scene will be rehearsed around two times. But when the scene needs to be rehearsed thrice, expect a classic storm out.

Rachel wants her water lukewarm. One time, an intern (working on his first day) served her a glass of cold water, Rachel yelled at him for five straight minutes and the intern never came back to finish his hours.

During breaks, she would rather turn on her iPod and listen to music than spend time with her staff and co-stars thinking that they are just a bunch of hopefuls trying to ride her fame. She arrives at rehearsals with a frowned face and always yells at people whenever they did something she didn't like.

Rachel doesn't want to share dressing rooms. One time at one of her shows which had a bunch of cast, 7 actors had to share a dressing room just so Rachel Berry can have her own.

This is _the _Rachel Berry at work; and nobody loves to be around her when she's mad, which is most of the time. But they adored her when she leads the pack to a wonderful performance and motivates them when the rest is nervous and freaked out.

This is _the _Rachel Berry at work and nobody likes her when she's not working. But they do not understand. _The _Rachel Berry is not happy.

But that same Rachel Berry actually feels different right now.

Mario, the costume designer, passed in front of Rachel – his steps almost soundless. He held his breath hoping to be unnoticed by the diva who was working on her warm up. But he failed. Rachel turned to him and Mario prepared for the next event of Rachel-Berry-Yell-a-Thon.

"Good afternoon, Mario," Rachel greeted with a pleasant smile. Mario stopped and looked at Rachel in total surprise. The other people inside the room also looked surprise with the greeting.

"Good afternoon, Rachel," Mario greeted indifferently.

"By the way, I love the dress you made for the dance sequence. Nice job," Rachel smiled as she continued to work on her warm up.

"Thanks," again, Mario said indifferently. He then walked over to his destination still wondering who the hell is the spirit that possessed Rachel Berry today.

_For the first time, Rachel Berry noticed something other than herself._

Almost 30 minutes passed and everyone was up on their feet dancing. Rachel is messing up with the steps for the first time in her career because she keeps glancing at the door as if waiting for someone to come in.

_Why isn't she still here? She told me she'll come here. How can I ever have a Publicist or an Assistant as irresponsible as she is? _Rachel fooled herself in thought.

She doesn't understand why it frustrates her. The fact that Quinn wasn't there when she's supposed to be makes Rachel go nuts. When the choreographer realizes Rachel is on a battle with her thoughts, he called for a five-minute break and there, Rachel stormed out to the hallway and started pacing.

Two minutes later, she saw Quinn approaching the dance studio and Rachel is getting ready for the rant.

But before she started yelling at her, she realized that Quinn has changed her clothes. She now wears a pair of skinny jeans and a white tank top topped with a red cardigan that embraced her features. All these years and even before, nobody will ever think that Quinn went through a lot at the age of 16 because she always has a way of carrying herself around that makes you think she's perfect.

"Yes? Fabray! You are 32 minutes late!" Rachel was in a state of rage she doesn't understand. "You better know that I resent tardiness!" Rachel continued as she looked at Quinn who seemed more confused than terrified.

"What did you need me for?" Quinn asked.

"You are my Publicist. You need to be here always!"

"Will you please stop yelling Ms. Berry?" Quinn said straight-faced.

This shut the hell out of Rachel.

"It's a dance rehearsal may I remind you and the last time I checked, I am not your feet," Quinn said in a Fabray classic.

"Are you scolding your boss?" Rachel asked in a Berry classic.

Quinn smiled and shook her head, "First Ms. Berry, you are not my boss. Charles is. Far as my job description is concerned, I am here to supervise you. Remind you of the day's work, wake you up early, get you to daily work outs, make sure you fulfill your duties and then remind you about the disadvantages of staying up late at night."

Rachel stood surprised.

"Now, if you didn't hear it clear enough, I won't repeat it for you. But may I tell you that I never mentioned anything about alcohol and you going anywhere near anything alcoholic and the likes. So, I'm guessing you are getting my point," Quinn stated.

Rachel was about to start another round of rant but Quinn didn't let her.

"I'm sorry Ms. Berry, no more partying and excessive alcohol. No more wild Berry nights," Quinn nearly laughed at this but refused to so she just continued, "it's absolutely disgusting to see you like that."

Rachel wants to say something but she can't.

"And may I tell you that I am grading you. If you still want to keep Charles and Megan, better act well, Ms. Berry."

Rachel's eyes widened, her heart skipped a beat and her jaw dropped to the floor with what Quinn said next.

"I've got your life controlled, Ms. Berry. So, if ever you decide to do anything just remember," Quinn started to make her way inside the dance studio as she sang her last words, "Quinn Fabray is watching you."

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 11: Well, if Rachel can't remember anything it doesn't mean Quinn can't give the deets. Hmm.<strong>_


	11. Chapter 11: At the end of the day

**Author's Note: Okay, this is just a simple chapter. I hope y'all like it. And reviews, please. I promise to update faster, though. **

**This morning, I nearly got reprimanded by my boss, haha! She caught me crying over writing something in my notepad. Oh yeah, I wrote a very emotional chapter that would unveil a certain past and God, I did cry over my own piece. Hahaha.**

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><p>Quinn's final words confirmed that indeed, Rachel's life will change. Once again, she is <em>the <em>high school Rachel Berry fearing the roots of one certain blonde. But is "fear" really the word for what Rachel felt as she went back inside the dance studio? She wouldn't know because she has a smile on her face.

Quinn sat at one corner talking to some other staff of the production. She rightfully introduced herself to them as Rachel's assistant and publicist. Some reacted and thought right away about her life being hell but she just shrugged and said, "We'll see about that."

While Rachel was rehearsing, Quinn mingled with other staffs. They liked her right away. Her witty jokes, the way she seems to relate with back stage stories, the way she talks and laughs whenever someone cracks a joke – they all loved it about Quinn. Some staff secretly felt sorry for her since she's working with some diva.

And while she was _slowly perfecting _and _enjoying dancing_, Rachel watched Quinn closely. Yes, the way she handles herself confidently still hasn't changed but if there's one thing that time changed about Quinn, it is that she's now the more people-person. Unlike the HBIC Quinn in high school who only cared about the people she wanted to care for, the Quinn she's watching as of the moment is caring for the world.

It's weird for Rachel dancing at that very moment. She's watching Quinn and dancing well. She never did that good when she concentrated too much.

The rehearsal was soon over and Rachel found herself in the living room waiting for Brittany and Quinn to finish cooking their dinner. She feels a little pissed over Quinn not letting her join a party tonight with her _few _friends.

When she felt tired of waiting, she went to approach the two girls. She entered the kitchen and found Brittany trying the first taste of what Quinn cooked.

After she got the first taste of Quinn's Pumpkin Tortilla Soup, Brittany closed her eyes and cherished the moment that the soup scattered its taste into her whole being.

"Mmmmm.. Was that an earthquake, Quinn?" Brittany asked playfully.

Quinn and Rachel looked at Brittany puzzled.

"Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world!" Brittany exclaimed.

Quinn and Rachel laughed at Brittany's new found obsession – pick up lines.

"God! Quinn! This is amazing! Probably the best vegan thing I've had for like the past three years!"

"Excuse you?" Rachel said trying to pretend upset. "I don't think something can taste better than my Vegan Tofu and Vegetable Pot Pie," Rachel continued as she grabbed a spoon and tasted the soup for herself to see.

Indeed. Brittany was right. _The pumpkin soup was as perfect as its cook._

Rachel was speechless.

"See?" Brittany said proudly.

They spent the next hour talking about how Quinn learned to cook vegan meals. Quinn said she wanted to cook for someone who was vegan and she wanted to impress that person badly. When Quinn stopped talking, neither Rachel nor Brittany dared to ask who the person was. _They both knew who it is._

After dinner, they settled to watch American Idol and found out that Mercedes made it to Hollywood week. After a round of comments from Rachel about Mercedes' performance, Quinn prepared for going home.

"I should go. Remember, Ms. Berry, we'll be having our 1-hour jog tomorrow. That beer belly isn't helping you, "Quinn said in a business manner.

Rachel realized that Quinn never addressed her in her first name but always called her "Ms. Berry" and whenever possible, she wouldn't even say her name.

"Please, Quinn, call me Rachel and excuse me, I do not have a beer belly. That is just a rude accusation" Rachel said.

"I'll try," Quinn replied.

Rachel sighed, "Don't be late for tomorrow, we'll run at six thirty."

"You bet, ma'am," Quinn said then smiled.

"So I guess, we'll be having more of you for the next months," Brittany said as she pulled Quinn into a hug and breaks it.

"My contract with Ms. Berry here ends in three months, so I guess I'll be having three months of pick up lines from you," Quinn said looking at Brittany. The latter just smiled at this.

"I didn't know there was a contract," Rachel said. For some reason, knowing that Quinn will have to leave her life _again _soon, it secretly broke her heart.

Both Brittany and Rachel walked Quinn to the door. She was putting on her coat when Brittany said, "Did it hurt?"

Rachel's eyes widened. She's suddenly scared of what Brittany could possibly be talking about?

Quinn asked, "What did?"

"When you fell from heaven?" Brittany asked as she flushed a playful smile.

Rachel sighed in relief._ Of course, it was a pick up line._

"B, I think there's something in your eye," Quinn looked concerned.

Rachel looked at Brittany as she scratched her eye with her knuckles.

"I don't think so, Q," Brittany looked confused as well as Rachel.

"Nope," Quinn smiled the said, "it's just a sparkle."

Brittany laughed at this and Rachel seemed impressed. "Nice one, Quinn," Rachel said laughingly.

"I better get going," Quinn said as she opened the front door.

"Q, may I ask you something?"

Quinn nodded expecting a pick-up line.

"Santana...is she-"

Quinn knew where this was going so she cut the chase and said, "She's okay, B. A little pissed over huge books, but she's doing great. I believe she's gonna make a good doctor someday."

Rachel and Brittany smiled.

"Did she ever-"

"No, B. She never dated anyone since high school," Quinn again knew.

This stunned Rachel. She never realized how Santana loved Brittany until now.

Quinn continued, "She's waiting, B."

Brittany smiled as tears formed in her eyes.

"Well, Quinn should be going. See you tomorrow, Quinn," Rachel said trying to stop the drama.

"Yeah, good night girls. Sweet dreams," the former HBIC said as she stepped out of the room.

Once out of the door and hearing the door shut behind her, Quinn walked towards the elevator slowly. Her feet were suddenly heavy. Her body suddenly feels weak. Breathing suddenly became so hard to do. Her hands are trembling and she could hear the sound of her heart breaking.

All of the composure that she kept all day suddenly vanished. This is the real Quinn now.

She reached the elevator and realized she was alone, pressed "G" and as the elevator door shut, tears ran down her face non-stop.

And there she knew, these are tears she held the entire day since seeing the face that broke her heart. And it's breaking even more.

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 12: Quinn remembers something from the past. Hints! And oh, did I mention someone's coming back? <strong>_


	12. Chapter 12: Quinn's Turn

**Author's Note: So yeah, thank you so much for the reviews. Please, please forgive me for not making things sooo fast. It's just that, you guys have been waiting for it and I feel the need to make it really beautiful – same goes for Santana's come back. Pressure much. HAHA. But I certainly do love you people.**

**And I sometimes wonder, the clues are all over, if you will put it together, you'd possibly get what really happened. Reviews, please. Thank you!**

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><p>The whole time, she tried to be strong. When her PR firm offered her this job, she refused at first knowing that it will require her to relieve the wounds that are her scars now. But then, she knew that moving on with her life means she has to have that courage in facing <em>the <em>Rachel Berry.

The Rachel Berry that put her heart back together when her parents, Beth, Finn and the whole McKinley High broke it; but it is the same Rachel Berry that shattered it to even tinier pieces.

And even if years have passed and she just graduated with honors in UCLA, she is still the same old Quinn – weak and faint-hearted. And no matter the defenses, she still cries herself to sleep.

She got inside the cab and wished that this day never happened. She always knew that Rachel is now nothing but a memory but seeing that diva once again and looking into those eyes brought her back to the days she always wanted to forget.

_"Oh, hell to the no!" Mercedes said as she stood and faced the entire Glee Club. "Rachel is not singing the finale song! I picked it!" the other self-confessed Glee Club diva shouted._

_ "Calm down, Mercedes. The song perfectly fits Rachel and the emotions she put into are just outstanding," Mr. Schue said trying to ease the tension._

_ "May I Mr. Schue?" Rachel said as she walked from the back of the piano to the center of the room. She then continued, "You were all given the chance to take this finale song from me, but you all screwed it up. With all due respect to your individual talents, I think that even this is a team, someone still needs to step up and that someone should no other be than just the best."_

_ "So, are you saying that you are the best thing in here and all of us are just enough as your back-up?" Mercedes came to face Rachel._

_ "No. All I am saying is that, we should know when to give a person their part in a performance – for the club's sake. I'm sorry Mercedes, but if you are going to sing this part, it would make less of an impact," Rachel said matter-of-factly._

_ The entire Glee Club seemed surprised but Rachel continued, "Mercedes, you cannot consistently hit the highest note but when totally you do, the whole performance will suffer, because when you are hitting the notes, you seem all so focused on hitting it that you don't give acting and meaning to the song."_

_ She paced and continued, "This song is not just about hitting the notes and belting it or impressing the people around you with your mastered voice. This is about making them feel the want, the need, the hunger of loving and being loved."_

_ "So are you saying that I cannot do it?" Mercedes is slowly reaching her boiling point._

_ "Mercedes! When are you gonna give it up! Kurt has accepted it as well as anyone in this room! I am better than YOU!" Rachel said it right into Mercedes' face._

_ Hearing that, Mercedes felt numb and her senses went to black. She closed her eyes and raised her hand at the same time then slapping the girl in front of her._

_ The entire Glee Club reacted to this almost screaming. Kurt ran to Mercedes' side and pulled her away._

_ The others stood in awe._

_ When Mercedes opened her eyes, she was surprised not to see a brunette in pain. Rather, she saw those brown eyes that the entire school feared. She saw that blonde cheerleader standing in front of the diva._

_ Quinn was looking at Mercedes with a hand on her cheek. Even she's got it covered, Mercedes could see that it was all red and pain is evident in Quinn's facial expression._

_ She couldn't believe it but yes, she just slapped Quinn Fabray. She looked around and confirmed her actions. Santana was right beside Quinn with furious eyes. Brittany was right beside Rachel, both of them in shock. Other members of the club are off their seats standing and ready in case they needed to come in between Mercedes and Quinn once the latter and Santana decides she'll have to pay for it._

_ But Quinn was there, in front of Rachel Berry, protecting her._

_ Quinn sighed heavily, "No one hurts Rachel."_

The cab's sudden stop brought Quinn back to present time. She remembered that day. It was the day she swore she's gonna protect Rachel Berry as long as the diva wanted to. That was the day she promised to make all things right for the brunette. That was the day she wanted to be _that _person to _her_. And even with uncertainty, that was the day Quinn realized she's opening her heart again.

Quinn hated herself for deciding to be the good girl in senior year. She wanted to make things right for herself and Glee Club. She wanted to have great year. She wanted to win Nationals. She wanted to heal the wounds.

Santana, Brittany and herself kept an eye on Rachel Berry and made sure no one in the school assaulted her verbally or physically. Despite being the villain in Rachel's life for the past years, she wanted make senior year different.

Slowly, the four of them became friends. And though, trust wasn't their friendship's best asset, Quinn knew it would get there in time.

Quinn's guilt of being the bad one slowly faded. Wounds caused by her previous mistakes one by one healed. Her _friendshi_p with Rachel changed her.

She wanted to recall more of these beautiful memories. She wanted to smile at these good things that made her who she is today. But all things lead to that one particular day when she felt as if it was September 11 and her life was the World Trade Center. She doesn't want to remember and feel anymore, it hurts so much and seeing Rachel today was like another stab in her already broken heart.

It's been years but it still hurts like hell.

And even before dwelling to the more hurtful memories, she ran towards her apartment, pushed the door open and buried herself into the arms of another brunette who was in the living room indulged in huge physical science books.

The other girl was alarmed with the dramatic entrance but once realizing Quinn was all broken and devastated, she knew that the scene was all too familiar.

"_Dios mio_! The dwarf did it again," the Latina said as she held her bestfriend tightly.

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 13 (which I will be posting a few minutes after this): Quinn and Rachel recall their good moments together.<strong>_


	13. Chapter 13: Mixed Up

**Author's Note: Thanks again for reviewing. So as promised in the last part of the previous chapter, I had to put this up immediately. The previous chapter was rather short. So here it is. Too much mem'ries. HAHA. Thank you everyone for reviewing and actually putting up with this story!**

**Reminder: I hope it doesn't confuse you. When one part is italicized, it means it's a flashback or something that goes within their minds. Yey! Thanks. You wouldn't know when those mem'ries hit ya. Thanks again. Loves.**

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><p>Quinn woke up that morning inside her room. She's tucked in between two huge pillows. She smiled upon the realization that again, just like old times, Santana carried her to her room after she apparently passed out in the living room for crying all night.<p>

She always wondered how the Latina always manages to carry her from the living room to her own room when she passes out like that. The Latina was smaller than her in size but she was definitely stronger than her physically.

These two huge pillows beside her are Santana's idea of securing Quinn that she is not alone even when she's sleeping. Santana is used to studying late at night so she can't always be there for Quinn when she wanted someone to sleep beside with. So, Santana bought these pillows and told Quinn to imagine that these pillows are S and B, beside her.

Quinn went out to check on the Latina and as she passed the living room, she found her sleeping soundly on the couch. It's been Quinn's morning scenery: Santana Lopez, sleeping on the couch with a pile of books and handouts surrounding her. She's been like that in LA and she's still like this here in New York.

The blonde smiled as she closed the curtains that lit the entire room. She knows that Santana is a deep-sleeper and the light wouldn't easily wake her up but she also knows that the Latina hates it when the sunlight hits her straight into the eyes when she wakes up.

Quinn served herself coffee and was just about finished when her phone beeped. She's got a text message.

_**Good morning, Ms. Fabray. Race to Central Park? – Berry**_

This is still weird for Quinn but she smiled upon the challenge.

_**Morning, Ms. Berry. Race it is. Loser will cook lunch. – Quinn**_

At that, Quinn hurried to prepare for this mini-race. She was smiling the whole time.

She was on her way to Central Park when she remembered a scene back in senior high.

_Quinn woke up that Saturday morning feeling good. She didn't bother to move because she had no appointment that morning except for a breakfast with Rachel Berry after they run around the neighborhood. She was stretching a bit when her phone beeped. She's got a text message from Rachel._

_**Good morning, Q! Race to usual place? –**__**R**_

Quinn smiled and right away typed a reply.

_**Mrnng, Rach. U bet. Loser pays 4 brkfast. – Q**_

An almost instant text came from Rachel.

_**I told you, no text speak. – R**_

_** Sorry, Ma'am. The race! – Q**_

_** I'm on my way, silly. Miss you! – R**_

_Quinn was alarmed at the fact that Rachel is on her way but the last part of the message got her smiling and inspired to hurry up. Rachel misses her already even though the last time they saw each other was last night, after they saw a movie together with Brittany and Santana._

_ And even she didn't admit, Quinn knows the feeling is mutual._

Quinn, as always, won the race. Rachel's apartment was nearer their meeting place but Quinn assumed that Rachel had seen something cute along her way or whatever.

Rachel came a few minutes later and was apologetic for being late claiming she saw something really cute and wanted to stare at it longer. Quinn smiled at this and thought she's right.

"What can I cook for lunch? Since I had taste of that Pumpkin Soup of yours, Quinn, I must admit that I suddenly had doubts on my own cooking ability," Rachel said.

Quinn just smiled at this.

"What do you like for lunch, Quinn?"

"Anything will do, Ms. Berry. No need to mind me. I eat almost everything," Quinn replied modestly.

Rachel hated the _Ms. Berry _thing but she kept it to herself. "I don't believe that," Rachel replied as Quinn looked right back at Rachel as the latter continued. "You always hated oat meals and vegetables," Rachel said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, you're right. But not anymore."

"Because Coach Sylvester forced you into these things."

Quinn nodded. _Rachel still knows her._

"How about we start running now?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, we should," Quinn said as she ran ahead laughing as Rachel tried to catch up.

Quinn's childish action reminded Rachel of her first morning jog with Quinn way back in senior high.

_They met at their favorite spot, warmed up and started their now-daily morning routine. She always wanted to jog outside in the morning but finds it extremely boring with no one to run with._

_ When Quinn knew about this, she extended her interest to join Rachel on her adventure outside her treadmill. And that morning was the start._

_ Since Quinn let Rachel know of her intentions to become friends, she always doubted her intentions and thought that all of these were just an act. But after many instances that the blonde stood up for her including that slap from Mercedes and the numerous times that Quinn confronted anyone who said things about her dads, Rachel started to believe that this Quinn Fabray is for real._

_ "How was sleep, missy?"Quinn asked as they started to run._

_ "Good, I guess," Rachel lied._

_ Quinn almost laughed at this, "No, you didn't. You were afraid that someone was watching you because of that stupid movie we watched."_

_ Rachel can't help but smile, Quinn was right. "Can you blame me? That movie's got me!" Rachel admitted._

_ "It's okay, no one's gonna hurt you. Even ghosts are afraid of one certain blonde in town," Quinn assured._

_ Rachel just smiled. They kept on jogging around the neighborhood when Rachel felt the muscles in her right leg tighten. She stopped and broke down in pain. She sat by the sidewalk as she saw the most concerned Quinn rushing back to her aid._

_ Quinn checked Rachel's leg and massaged it slowly. It was as if Quinn's soft hands had magic and the pain slowly disappeared._

_ "Minor cramps. No need to worry, Berry," Quinn smiled as she looked at Rachel._

_ "I won't need to wear a cast, right? Oh no! Do I have to be on a wheelchair? Or do I have to use crutches?"Rachel rambled. She wanted to panic but Quinn's stare somehow made her feel safe._

_ "Shhhhh. It's okay, Rach. You just have to sit it out. It'll be okay just after a few minutes," Quinn said as she stood and turned her back on Rachel._

_ Quinn then knelt on one knee with her back turned from Rachel. "Get in your new ride, Rach," Quinn said as she looked at Rachel over her shoulder. _

_ A piggyback. Rachel wanted to cry because she is so touched by this gesture from her friend._

_ "Oh no, Quinn. I'm too heavy. You can't carry me," Rachel said shyly._

_ "Try me, Rach. I'm stronger than you think I am," Quinn said still kneeling on one knee._

_ Rachel was still hesitant. And at that, Quinn moved closer to Rachel and forced her into a piggyback. In a snap, Rachel was riding on Quinn's back as they headed to their favorite café._

_ Quinn is carefully carrying Rachel on her back, her hands guiding Rachel's legs and her heart beating twice as fast. Rachel didn't try to fight anymore. The moment Quinn grabbed her, her entire system stopped. As she wrapped her arms around Quinn, she rested her head on the cheerleader's shoulder and leaned her entire being against Quinn._

_The whole walk was silent. And during that whole silent moment of Quinn's walk and Rachel's ride, the diva felt something absolutely right in her life. And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't mind suffering from cramps everyday of her life, just so she can have moments like this._

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 14: May I just say that writing the next chapter broke my heart. xo<strong>_


	14. Chapter 14: Because Quinn Said So

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. It's been an amazing weekend for me. So here's another update. I hope you people would keep reading even if this feels like forever already.**

**And to those asking for the unfolding of Brittana, well, I'm focusing a lot on Faberry but I can only promise a wonderful comeback. And to give you a hint, our Brit is planning something, **_**big**_**. She won't disappoint y'all. HAHA.**

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><p>When she got home from her run with Quinn, Rachel began looking out for recipes of the perfect lunch she has planned. She thought that maybe, when she's done perfect cooking for this, she would get the chance to finally talk to Quinn and clear the air.<p>

She's taking this lunch seriously that after she's done with an uber quick shower, she started preparing the ingredients.

For the first time since her first lead role in Julliard's Christmas special, she felt extremely excited.

She did some quite trial and errors, repeated stirring and designed the perfect cut for some vegetables involved until she thought she's got everything right.

She could smell the simmering soup she had prepared and could only imagine Quinn's adoration for her work of art. She was giggling as she was preparing it and actually thinks to herself that she's gone crazy.

_Does Quinn have a driver's license? She ought to have because she's driving me crazy! _Rachel happily thought. This is what you get from Brittany S. Pierce.

Her excitement was suddenly interrupted when her phone beeped. She peeked at her phone that it was a text from Quinn Fabray.

She imagined Quinn's text would be "Hey, Berry! Better prepare for lunch." Or something that would go like, "Ms. Berry, I am assuming a perfect lunch." But she wished it would be, "Hey, Rach. I am excited about our lunch."

With a huge smile on her face, she opened Quinn's text.

_**Can't make it to lunch, Ms. Berry. Sorry. – Quinn**_

The smile on her face eventually disappeared. She felt her heart shatter to pieces that if she went to pick it up, it would take her forever.

Rachel's hand trembled. She wanted to throw her phone somewhere far away. She's never felt so disappointed in her life.

Tears started to form in her eyes. She wanted to stop the tears but she just stood there bursting into sobs. _Quinn never ditched her for the world until now._

_Way Back in Senior Year_

_ "Quinn?" Rachel asked as she approached the blonde who just finished putting her books inside her locker._

_ "I know, we have not the best memories and records as friends but these past few weeks, months to be more concise has been really good. Do you mind if I ask you something?" Rachel asked in a usual long-sentence format._

_ Quinn smiled and shook her head as she looked at Rachel, "Of course, Rach. You didn't really have to go history tracking if you want to ask me anything."_

_ "Is this real?" Rachel asked immediately._

_ Quinn was surprised with the question._

_ The blonde looked confused so Rachel elaborated, "I mean this," Rachel paused as she pointed at Quinn, "you," Rachel paused again and pointed at herself, "me. Us."_

_ Quinn now got what the diva was trying to say and she adored this about her. After looking at the nervous brunette in front of her, Quinn smiled gently. "I don't know about you. But I'm pretty sure I'm real," Quinn said calmly._

_ "I'm just so happy that it scares me," Rachel said as tears taunted her eyes._

_ "Why?"_

_ "You've been so good me these past few months and you've made my senior year by far the best year ever. You've stood by me during the most critical parts. You've been the friend I have always wished I had and I am so scared that one day I'll wake up and find out that all of this is just a dream," Rachel said in a breath._

_ Quinn smiled._

_ "Rach, it's been good for me, too. You always have your way of bringing out the best in the mess of Quinn Fabray," Quinn said as she wiped the tears that's now running down the diva's face._

_ "Can you do a favor for me, Quinn?"_

_ "Sure, anything."_

_ "Will you come with me tonight?"_

_ "Where?"_

_ "I'm meeting Shelby tonight."_

_ Quinn's eyes widened._

_ "I'm scared and I don't know, I guess, I just… sort of…" Rachel sighed, "need you."_

_ Quinn's heart swelled with so much emotions. She can't find the words so she just wrapped her arms around Rachel. She was half-scared because Shelby might bring Beth with her but it didn't really matter, Rachel was all that mattered._

_ "Of course, Rach. I'll be there."_

_ "But you have Cheerios victory party, tonight. I heard. It actually took a lot of courage for me to ask you about this. In case you say no, I would understand. I just needed a shot," Rachel said still wrapped around Quinn's arms as she wrapped hers around the cheerleader's waist._

_ They didn't notice they were swaying as if there was music and they were dancing to a slow song._

_ "I'd give up anything, Rach."_

Rachel was taken back to Earth by the sound of the director shouting for the rehearsal to start.

Rehearsal that day is bound to last until 8pm. And unlike Quinn's earlier record, she was there early today. She sat in the front row watching the entire rehearsals with her iPad at hand noting details that might help her.

Rachel looked at her, just stared at her. This has been becoming her habit but she didn't mind. When Quinn looked up and their eyes met, the blonde smiled at her and she smiled back.

Suddenly, the hurt from that morning's abandonment was forgotten. _How can you be so mad at someone who smiles like that?_

After three straight hours of draining rehearsal, the director finally called for a break. Rachel walked towards the corner of the stage where her bags rested. She sighed heavily in fatigue as she sat and covered her face with her hands.

She can feel movement beside her so she looked to see who is it was; and she saw what she hoped. Quinn sat beside her with a bottle of vitamin water.

"Is that for me?" Rachel asked.

"No, it's mine," Quinn said not looking at Rachel.

Rachel didn't know if she was kidding or not.

Then, Quinn said, "But, since I'm a good person, I'm giving it to a thirsty actress right here." Quinn finished as she smiled and capped the bottle open and handed it to Rachel.

_Rachel felt her heart melt. Her heart has been melting consistently lately._

"Thank you," Rachel said as she took the bottle and took a sip.

Silence enveloped them until Rachel felt something touching her forehead. She realized that Quinn was gently wiping her sweat with a soft towel. Rachel's heart raced to ends of New York.

Rachel turned to face Quinn and saw the latter serious about the whole thing. Their faces are now just inches apart and Rachel can't remember the last time they were this close.

"You really have to start minding your health, Ms. Berry," Quinn said as she stopped the gesture and handed the towel to a frozen Rachel Berry.

She reached onto Rachel's bag and put out a new shirt for Rachel (something with an owl drawing) and handed it to her.

"Go change your top in the dressing room," Quinn _commanded_. "That director is a monster, I think Coach Sylvester's gotten into him," Quinn said as she looked at Rachel who was sitting still.

"I don't want to, I'm too tired to do this, Quinn," said Rachel as she returned the shirt to Quinn.

Quinn gently tossed the shirt to Rachel's face.

Rachel laughed, "What was that Q?"

"Go change."

"Why would I want to?" Rachel said as she picked up the shirt that fell to the ground after hitting her face. She wasn't actually too tired to change. _I don't know, maybe I just want her to force me more._

"Don't play the stubborn card, Ra-… Ms. Berry," Quinn said still composed despite the stutter.

"Give me one good reason that I should follow you," Rachel acted stubbornly.

"Because I said so," Quinn said as she gently laughed.

Both girls fell into a comfortable laugh.

_She remembers this comfort with Rachel. But she just realized how much she missed it._

_ It was a simple moment yet, Rachel could feel her life shifting into a completely different direction._

"Stop laughing, Ms. Berry," Quinn said as she tried to stop laughing. They don't know what's so funny but they are laughing.

"Okay, I'm gonna go change," Rachel said as she stood and looked at Quinn. "I don't want to piss my nanny off," she finished as she childishly skipped towards the dressing room.

Quinn just watched her smilingly.

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 15 (which I would be posting few minutes after this): We'll get inside Brit's mind and some weird happenings between R and Q.<strong>_


	15. Chapter 15: Searching

**Author's Note: Again, thank you for keeping up And sorry for not putting this soon as I posted the previous chapter. The net was just plain odd that time. But yeah, I'll make up for that!**

**Anyhow, thank you! And I am so sorry for the long, long anticipation. (Sometimes, I really need to set some good moments so that the saddest part will be oh, so sad. HAHA. JK.) Thank you! From the bottom of my first-ever-publishing-her-work heart, THANK YOU!**

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><p>Brittany woke up with a heavy feeling that morning.<p>

It's been days since Quinn mentioned about her. She's excited to see her again but scared as hell that things are nothing like she planned them to be.

What if Santana doesn't love her anymore? What if Santana has changed and she's not anymore the Santana that Brittany has been in love with since high school?

These questions seemed pointless as she remembered Quinn saying that the Latina never dated anyone since high school. But Brittany believed in two things: reasons and time.

What if S didn't date anyone because she was busy with studying bodies and their compositions? She believed Santana has reasons for not dating anyone but she hopes that this reason would involve the Latina still loving the blonde dancer after all.

Most of all, Brittany believed in time. She knows for a reason that time has the power to change everything. The living proof? Rachel Berry. She saw the diva grow in front of her as time passed by and it scared her how she saw the diva's wounds healed and how the past feelings – even the good ones – change over time.

What if the Latina went through that process of change?

Like many things in her life, she doesn't know the answers.

But before she noticed it, she grabbed her phone eager to find the answers.

_**Q, cn we talk? Hw bout lunch? – B**_

She patiently waited for the reply.

_**Bout S? – Q**_

_** Yeah. I need 2 know something b4 I start 2 do anything. – B**_

_** Sure. Bt no 4 lunch. Ms. Berry's got a meeting. Bt yes 4 dinner. – Q**_

_** K, Q. Meet you in Bella Luna at 7. – B**_

_** Love you, B. – Q**_

_** Love you, too, Q. Love her more though. *smiles – S**_

o-o-o-o-o

Everything went smoothly in terms of her _relationship _with Quinn. It's been a week and a half since they reunited and after that incident in the theatre, Rachel felt good around Quinn just like how she did when she and Quinn were friends in senior high.

They jogged around Central Park every other day, ate breakfast at Rachel's apartment if they had the opportunity and talked about work. _Boring! _Sometimes, Quinn spent dinner with Brittany and Rachel but most of the time Quinn went home to spend time with her roommate.

Quinn was always present during her rehearsal making sure she changed her clothes every once in a while, drank water regularly and that wiping-the-sweat-off-her-forehead already became Quinn's habit.

But other than that, nothing.

Though it may seem weird, Rachel never found herself under the influence of alcohol again. It wasn't just because she was scared of Quinn but maybe because other things – or maybe people – have been keeping her sane lately.

Eventually, good press releases were written about her. Articles talked about her being a good example of someone who's changed for the better.

Quinn would generally laugh at this claiming that Rachel is not changing for the good, it's just her being her old sane self again.

Every time Quinn mentions this, Rachel just can't help but smile. _She knows the reason for being the same old sane Rachel Berry again_.

Even though days have passed, Rachel can't help but think she still needs to talk to Quinn. She's been waiting for Quinn to finally address the situation but the blonde is still adamant about talking about other things aside from business and Rachel's official website.

She can't blame herself for acting this way intentionally but she just can't wait anymore. She and Quinn had a rather colorful past and she felt the need for Quinn opening about how she's _really _been.

Rachel and Quinn met at lunch with Charles who came with a producer. The producer offered Rachel a lead role that they thought was a good chance for a Tony. Quinn, Charles and the producer all talked about Rachel's chances and Rachel just sat listening.

When she heard the news, she was all excited. After all, this is what she's been waiting for all her life.

But despite the excitement, she sat there looking at Quinn composing her speech that would get the blonde to talk to her. She watched as Quinn took note of important details, shared a little insight and laughed a little. Though the blonde engaged in several topics, she was still rather quiet.

After lunch, Charles and the producer left as Quinn stood and faced Rachel.

"Ms. Berry, we're heading straight to the theatre. Your rehearsal starts at two," Quinn said as Rachel checked her time. It was one in the afternoon.

"Quinn, can we talk?" Rachel asked nervously.

"We can talk on our way to the theatre," Quinn said as she motioned for Rachel to start walking towards the exit.

"No, I mean over a meal or something," Rachel said gathering all the courage she can get.

Quinn stopped and looked at Rachel with asking eyes.

The brunette looked back straight to Quinn's eyes and asked, "Can we have dinner tonight?"

"I'm sorry. I can't," Quinn said without looking at Rachel.

In silence, they both reached the sidewalk and as they hailed a cab, no one said a word.

_Quinn denied her again._

Secretly, Quinn hated this. Maybe or maybe not she wanted to say yes to Rachel. When she said no, she saw Rachel's changed expression. She always saw the diva transparently ever since high school and she knows that Rachel was disappointed. She would have said yes to Rachel but Brittany asked first. _It's not my fault that I am so in-demand._

But no, Brittany wasn't the only reason. She was scared.

Secretly, Rachel wanted to cry. She would like to ask Quinn why she'd rejected her again when all she wanted is a talk. This is her second Quinn-Rejection-Galore in less than two weeks and she never felt this abandoned.

Rehearsal passed and just like the past few days, there were moments she just stared at Quinn. The Quinn Puzzle is something Rachel never solved and she finds it more impossible now.

No matter how much she hated Quinn for ditching her at some lunch she was so excited about and how Quinn turned down her offer for a dinner, she simply just can't keep the blonde off her mind.

At that, she received a text message.

_**Q's feet must have been hurting badly. – B**_

This worried Rachel.

_**Why? – R**_

She got an instant reply.

_**Because she's running through your mind the whole week! *winks – B**_

She smiled at this pick-up line. Really, Brittany's mastering this art. And though it was silly, she always loved how well Brittany knows her.

The next thing Rachel knew, she was with Quinn waiting for a cab outside the theatre. When a cab stopped in front of them, Quinn opened the door for Rachel.

"Go home and take a rest, Ms. Berry. Long day tomorrow," Quinn said as she motioned for Rachel to get in.

"Sure," replied Rachel as she hailed the cab.

Quinn sighed, "Sorry about earlier. I have a prior engagement tonight; maybe some other time." Once done, she closed the door for Rachel.

The diva rolled the window down and caught Quinn's eyes, "When we're both ready?"

This shocked Quinn but she still kept her composure and nodded.

Soon as that, Quinn was alone _finally _admitting she isn't ready for this.

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><p><em><strong>For Chapter 16: Brittany's game plan! xo<strong>_


	16. Chapter 16: B's Game Plan

**Author's Note: Thank you for those comments! Yay! You all make me happy. So yeah, about quite some time, I thought about making the chapters longer. (I always keep them short because of the cliffhangers haha) But here, I readjusted my chapters and actually combined two. (Thanks to the one who commented about the chapters!)**

**So, yeah. Here we go. A looooong chapter. Reviews please.**

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><p>Brittany lied to Rachel. She lied to herself. She lied to everyone who asked her about Santana. Contrary to what she told everyone, no, she and Santana never talked or communicated.<p>

They never exchanged emails since high school except for one time when Brittany told Santana about how cute her dorm was and apparently, that was five years ago.

They never exchanged texts or calls although the Latina tried reaching her the first year they were apart. She probably has given up having no response from the dancer. But still, every year, during special occasions like Christmas or New Year, Santana would greet her. The Latina would also yearly send a text saying "I LOVE YOU, STILL" fourteen times on Valentine's Day. Brittany never changed her number and always kept Santana's.

They aren't even friends on Facebook. On Twitter, Santana followed Brittany but the blonde didn't follow her back.

For four years and counting, she's ignored every single temptation that would send her running back to the Latina's arms. Since she left Lima, she stopped engaging to anything Santana-related because she knew that she didn't need a reason to break the promise she made to herself and the person she loved the most.

She longed for her whenever someone tried to get too close to her. She always imagined Santana as her dance partner. She missed Santana when she saw ducks.

She missed Santana when she can't start any school activity because the instructions confused her, normally, Santana would explain them to her. But she missed the Latina the most whenever she accomplished something _on her own_ – which became the story of her Julliard years. She knew – had the Latina been there – Santana would have been really proud of the slowly growing Brittany Pierce.

For the past years, Brittany tried to be the person people never thought she would be – the wise one. And though she still isn't the smartest person alive, she is pretty sure that she's not anymore the dumb Brittany Pierce.

Resisting Santana had been easier because they were 3, 000 miles apart. But now, they're closer than ever and this scared Brittany more than anything else: to do everything and still not be enough.

Dinner came. Both Brittany and Quinn sat inside Bella Luna – a very Italian restaurant from the looks to the tastes. They talked about other things while they were eating but the inevitable joined the conversation.

"Q," Brittany said as she looked at Quinn who was examining her pasta.

"Yes, B?" Quinn knew the next words but she pretended to just look at the pasta.

"Santana… uhm," _God! _She's been composing her question the whole time but the words are getting in her way.

"B, it's been five long years. Don't you think it's about time?" Quinn asked cutting the chase.

Brittany always hated or maybe loved Quinn's ability to always know what to say next. "Do you think it's time, Q?"

"Don't ask me about that, B. You know very well that I don't believe in the 'right time'," Quinn said air-quoting the last two words.

"Do you think I'm enough now?" Brittany asked a little hesitantly.

"You were always enough for her."

"But Q, I can never burden her forever with my weaknesses," Brittany said worriedly.

"That's why we have _partners_, B," Quinn said looking straight into Brittany's eyes. "They would always make up for our shortcomings," she added.

"All I did was to hide under her."

"And all she did was protect you because that's what she does best."

Brittany sighed still unconvinced.

"Let's put it this way," Quinn said as she straightened up. "Look at me, B."

Brittany followed Quinn's direction and looked at the other blonde.

"Santana is a puzzle. And you are that one missing piece in her life. You complete her, B."

Tears threatened Brittany's eyes.

"Ask any of our friends in Glee and I bet they'd tell you that they never pictured Santana without you. As Santana herself, she had never pictured a life without you. But she let you go because she loves you so much. She wanted to be close but she stayed away because she loves you enough to believe that someday, you'll be coming back."

Quinn never talked a lot but it was always a different story with her two bestfriends' relationship. They had issues and Quinn seemed to be the balancer.

"I'm scared, Q."

"I know," Quinn said as she took Brittany's hand the continued, "I have two questions for you."

Brittany nodded expectantly.

"Do you trust her?"

"Of course, I do! I wouldn't have left her back then if I didn't!" Brittany replied almost immediately.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes, with all that I am," Brittany said and there, her tears started streaming.

"Then, what are you waiting for?"

Brittany, despite the tears, counted Quinn's questions, "That's like three questions already. You said only two."

Quinn shook her and smiled, "That wasn't a question, B. It was a go signal."

Brittany wiped her tears and smiled.

"Do you know that every time we bought new pillows, she always had to buy an extra one? Guess what she says when I ask her why."

"That she loved pillows?"

Quinn smirked, "She would say, 'this one's for Brit. She might come home soon'," Quinn said as she warmly smiled at Brittany, who began tearing again.

"We already have bunch of pillows, B. If you come home, you'd drown in them," Quinn said laughing a bit. She then clasped Brittany's hand and said, "It's not about the right time, B. It's about the right person."

Brittany smiled as if the whole world went her way, "S is the right one."

"I know."

Brittany's face painted relief for the first time that night. Quinn still knew how to talk her out.

"So just go and get her," Quinn removed her gaze off Brittany and looked somewhere else sadly, "some people don't get second chances."

"I love you, Q. Maybe not as much as you wanted _her _to love you but I love _you_ enough not to turn my back on you," Brittany's heart secretly broke for Quinn. "And it's also like a puzzle: S and B will never be without Q. Totes cool!" Brittany said happily.

Quinn smiled in gratitude as she said, "So, what do we do now?"

Brittany straightened up, her mind slowly wandered over the things she could do for the Latina. Both of them fell in silence letting the live jazz band fill in the music.

_**And I… found a very special love in you**_

_** It's a feeling that's so totally new**_

_** Over and over, it's burning inside**_

Quinn looked at Brittany and Brittany looked at Quinn – both with knowing eyes. Years of friendship told them both that they are thinking of the same thing.

"Looks like we're gonna need some Rachel Berry."

o-o-o-o-o

Brittany went home that night with Quinn when the latter insisted that she needs to check on Rachel because she had a feeling that the diva didn't follow her sleeping routine.

They reached the apartment and apparently, Quinn was right. They found the diva in the living room, comfortably lounging in the sofa watching some late night talk show. Once they were inside, Rachel immediately shot Quinn an apologetic look.

"Trouble," Brittany teased Rachel. "Night, Q. Don't forget about the plan but please scold her first. And don't resist her even if she's being super adorable," Brittany said as she pulled Quinn into a hug and shifted to Rachel for good night hug and disappeared just as instantly.

Quinn stared at Rachel playfully raising an eyebrow.

"What can I do? I can't sleep," Rachel defended herself as she hugged a throw pillow that covered half of her face.

"How can you sleep if you're here watching TV?" Quinn said as she extended her hand as if she's asking for something.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"The remote, dear?"

Rachel reached for the remote and Quinn almost smiled upon the diva's obedience but then sighed when she saw the diva hide the remote behind her.

"Ms. Berry."

"Quinn."

"The remote."

"No."

Quinn just managed to shake her head smilingly. She then made her way to the kitchen and came back with a cup of tea.

She sat beside Rachel and handed her the tea, "Here, drink this. It'll help you calm your senses so you can now go to sleep."

Rachel was touched by this. She took the cup and started to sip.

Quinn always knew about Rachel's anxiety when she's alone in the house. She can always recall when Rachel would call Quinn in the middle of the night if she thinks that something is under her bead. And she always knew about Rachel's need of drinking something hot before she went to sleep.

"What are you watching?"Quinn asked as she turned to the TV.

"Nothing, really. I was just waiting for Brittany. I was surprised when you also came in. It's late and I didn't realize you were serious about checking on my sleeping time."

Little did she know that while she was talking, Quinn slid her hand behind her back to get the remote. She only learned Quinn's actions when the blonde laughed in victory. Quinn waved the remote as if she's waving a flag or something as Rachel joined for the laugh.

"Nice try, Ms. Berry," Quinn said as she turned the TV off. "Don't ever think for a second that you can run away with it. Now, time to sleep lady."

Rachel shook her head, "You haven't changed Q."

"You haven't either."

Rachel looked at Quinn confused.

"You still fall for the things I do," Quinn said.

Rachel's eyes widened. She didn't expect what Quinn just said.

Quinn tried to keep her composure while her mind was literally cursing her for what she said. Before Quinn could find something to say that would remedy the situation, Rachel spoke.

"Well, I couldn't agree more," the diva said as she stood and placed the cup on the kitchen counter.

"You better get going, Quinn. It's late. You also need sleep as much as I do because you get tired just like me. Maybe you're twice as tired because if we shall say it, you're dealing with me."

"You love rambling, don't you?"

"Rachel Berry, missy."

"By the way, before I go. B needs our help."

Rachel just looked at Quinn waiting for her to continue.

"She's getting S back."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Sure. I'd love to help. Honestly, I've seen so much of setback from Brit. She deserves to be happy and I'd be thrilled to help."

"Nice. I'll fill you the deets over breakfast. The whole thing will be tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?" Rachel was surprised."Isn't that too soon? Assuming this is big, I don't see how you can make it all so special with such short time."

"Quinn Fabray is arranging it," Quinn said as she smiled proudly. "I guess that says it all," Quinn said making her way towards the door.

When Quinn smiled, Rachel felt her knees weaken. It's becoming a routine now.

"See you tomorrow, Quinn."

"Yeah, see you," Quinn said as she slipped her coat on.

"Quinn, I don't know if I said it already but since we've been here for quite a time already, I think I should say this," Rachel paused, "it's nice to have you back."

Rachel swallowed her whole being. She wanted to sink down the rabbit hole when she didn't even see Quinn change expression. It's as if she never got the message.

"I've missed you," Rachel said looking at the emotionless blonde.

Quinn smiled and nodded, "Good night, Ms. Berry."

"Good night, Quinn."

To her surprise, Quinn leaned in for a hug.

It was three seconds in Quinn's arms. Three seconds of comfort. Three seconds of rush she hadn't felt in a while. Three seconds and her whole world disappeared. For three seconds, she didn't mind if the entire world existed.

It took just three seconds for all of the four-year-emptiness to vanish. Quinn still filled _that _space in her life. It is something _only Quinn _can fill. And _this _is the reason why _the _Rachel Berry wasn't happy despite her dreams coming true. _This _is the aspect of her life she tried to ease with alcohol and work.

This is the spot in her life that cannot be filled by any standing ovation or any full-house Broadway show; because only one Quinn Fabray can fill it. _Only her_.

For three seconds, Rachel's life was complete.

The blonde broke the hug as she smiled at Rachel whose eyes were closed.

Quinn just looked at her but inside, she was breaking. She sighed and suddenly, tears fell from her eyes. It was then Rachel opened her eyes and caught Quinn's. When she saw the blonde's tears, she started to cry as well.

Rachel trembled at Quinn's gaze. Looking at Quinn, she only saw two things: fear and hurt.

She wanted to hug her. She wanted to tell her everything will be alright but she can't. She can't do it because she knows very well that she, _the _Rachel Berry, is the reason behind it.

Quinn turned and opened the door. She was crying when she stepped outside and breathing suddenly became so hard to do.

Rachel held onto the door knob and slowly closed the door looking at Quinn whose back is turned from her.

The door shut and there, Quinn broke into sobs.

Rachel leaned against the door and tears of sorrow streamed down her cheeks. On the other side of the door, she could hear Quinn's sobs and this broke her heart.

Quinn slowly walked away from where she stood. With tears blurring her vision, she didn't even have the strength to run.

Halfway down the corridor, Quinn looked back at the closed door.

Rachel sobbed even more when she realized that another opportunity to talk to Quinn passed her. She could've stopped the bleeding. She could've told Quinn what she always wanted to say.

Quinn looked at the closed door and it felt so right.

Rachel wanted more that tree seconds and no, Rachel just can't let her go at this very moment.

Slowly, Quinn walked back towards the closed door. _Here I am again, coming for closed opportunities._

Rachel thought of going after the girl who just left her apartment but she hesitated. Her feet started to drag her towards her room but she stopped. _No! I can't just run away again. _As fast as she could, Rachel ran towards the door and swung it open.

But no, Quinn wasn't there. Quinn left.

Rachel ran down the building barefoot. She looked around but Quinn isn't anymore around. Rachel felt her tears again. She was already near to breaking down when she rode the elevator back to her apartment. She looked back and realized that Quinn isn't anymore the person she can always chose whenever she wanted to. _She left Quinn. She hurt Quinn. She lost Quinn, forever._

"Faster," Quinn commanded the cab driver as she continued to sob. She covered her face with her hands and once the sobbing got louder, the faster the cab went.

She cried and cried. Her shoulders motioned up and down because of sobbing. She wanted to scream but she didn't have the voice to do so.

She was about to go back to that closed door. She was determined to knock but experience had taught her that closed doors aren't always opened once you knock. Her mom, dad, Finn and_ that girl _taught her so much of being shut out, left alone.

Before she even had the guts to knock, she ran away. She took the stairs a few doors away from Rachel's and found the back exit. Her tears just won't stop but no, she had to keep it together – she had a date to fix.

* * *

><p><em><strong>**Song used: "Very Special Love" by Maureen McGovern (Ooookay. I know it's too much classic. Haha. But I found a newer version of this over YouTube. Whoever sang it is really a good one. You might want to hear it because the song will be very important to Brittana's storyline. Here's the link - <strong>__**.com/watch?v=249yk2UPu4I ) Oooh God, that version always made me smile. Don't know where it's from, though. HAHA. Thanks and review please.**_


	17. Chapter 17: Perfect Combination I

**Author's Note: Wow! You guys are amazing! Thank you for the reviews, I'm so freaking happy. Haha! Oh well. I guess, this chapter is a treat for all of you great people. Hope you like it! It was hard finding the perfect pick-up line! Enjoy! (And because of one review, I realized that I should change my genre, it was supposed to be a little humorous, IDK what happened to me. HAHAHA. Thank you!)  
><strong>

**Thank you everyone! Straight from the bottom of my heart! *hugs***

* * *

><p>Quinn woke up that morning and instead of staying in the bed, she grabbed her phone and quickly typed a message.<p>

_**Good morning, MB (Ms. Berry). Please do take your breakfast and you might want to check your official website. It will go live tomorrow. And please wear something black tonight. B's request. I'll be a little late at rehearsals but I'll be there.**_

The message was rather long. But she had to do it, she had to fill Rachel of the deets. She passed out last night after the fast cab ride, she didn't have time to remind her.

She was terrified to face Rachel but she knew it had to be how it had been since they met again: _act fine, act okay._

Quinn got out of bed and went out of the room only to find Santana in her favorite place in the house: the couch. She's a watching a re-run of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. This scene was new to her. It's a Friday but Santana didn't have a class that day. _Perfect!_

"Wow. You're up and you're not reading," Quinn said as she looked at Santana then proceeded to the kitchen and came back with a box of cereal on one hand and a bottle of milk on the other.

"I assume that's a good morning?"Santana said before she broke out into a laugh caused by Jennifer Aniston's punch line.

"How many times have you watched that, S?" Quinn said as she sat beside Santana, poured her cereal in Santana's bowl, poured milk and then started to eat.

"Since when did you care?" Santana said in a low voice. Quinn could feel Santana studying her. "Have you been crying?" Santana asked as she took the box of cereal and poured its content straight into her mouth.

"What season is this?"

"274th."

Quinn smirked and shook her head, "Seriously."

"Seriously, Q." Santana said pertaining to her previous question.

"I'm surprised you still have to ask that. Hello, eyes!" Quinn said smilingly as she pertained to her obviously-swelled-eyes.

"True love, true love," Santana said putting her head on Quinn's shoulder. "Love you, Q."

"True love?"

Santana jerked upon the question and quickly reacted, "Eeeeew."

Both of them fell into a comfortable laughter.

Since they graduated and _incidentally _both went to UCLA, Quinn and Santana's friendship grew deeper. She saw through the Latina's defenses and actually grew into Santana's attitude.

She was never sweet but there were few instances that Santana had been affectionate toward the blonde.

Santana, on the other hand, returned the favor. She also saw through the blonde's defenses and figured out every lie that Quinn had to make to protect herself. Santana actually felt good to protect Quinn. More than the guilt of making it up to Quinn for treating her badly after the pregnancy, it was all about seeing someone who needed a friend so much.

Her life was about protecting Brittany but Quinn is now the second unit of her life that she wanted to protect as much. Quinn saved her from so much pain by just being there and making her feel it was okay to be weak and she loved Quinn for that.

_(Shhh. If you ever tell these things to anyone, Santana would haunt you.)_

"Oh, S. Do you have plans for tonight?"

"Eeew, Q!" Santana said pulling away from Quinn. "Desperate much?"

"Ewwww, S!" Quinn said nearly laughing. "I'm not asking you out on a date," Quinn said going back to her bowl of cereal.

Santana tilted her head to the side as if imagining things, "Well, you'd certainly make a hot date," Santana said smilingly. "And no, I don't have plans tonight. What you got?"

Quinn smiled warmly at Santana, "I'm taking you somewhere. Dress up."

"Who am I, Barbie?"

"Just wear something nice and red."

"Hannah-Montana-nice?"

Quinn laughed.

"Sor, Q. I won't go out on a date with you, blondie."

"Believe me, you'd want to."

"This better be good, Cap."

"You can thank me later."

o-o-o-o-o

Santana was nervous when she received Quinn's text that she's on her way to pick her up.

What is Quinn up to? Is she gonna set her up with some random blonde in NYU? Is she gonna meet Serena Van Der Woodsen? Is Quinn setting her up with a blind date – as in literally blind to add to the excitement? She didn't have a clue.

Trusting Quinn, she wore a form-fitting red tube dress completed with stunning black stilettos. Her hair was a neatly let down, her wavy locks brushing her bare shoulders on one side.

It didn't take long and Quinn eventually arrived.

Quinn wore a plain black dress that lasted up to above her thighs. Her hair pulled up, her make-up, sultry. She couldn't utter a word not just because Quinn was breathtakingly beautiful but she knew her BFF was up to something.

The look on her eyes disturbed Quinn. "Oh no, S. Don't think about having a crush on me. Eeeew," Quinn said as she led Santana to a black car waiting in front of their apartment building.

"What's going on, Q?" she never admitted but when Quinn was up to something, it always scared her, even in high school. She always knew that Quinn's mind had a special room for extremely good and extremely bad plans.

Quinn just smiled as they hailed the car.

"1000 points for the gorgeous car," Santana said feeling a little nervous.

A few more minutes and they reached an apartment she'd never been before. It was rather huge than her and Quinn's.

Quinn pushed the door half open before letting go of Santana's arms which she clung onto the entire time.

"Get in," Quinn said as she nodded.

"There aren't any murderers inside, right?

Quinn half-laughed, "No. It's just your life."

Santana was now completely lost, "If this is bad, I swear to Amy Winehouse you'll fuckin' pay for it!"

"You're welcome, S."

Both of them smiled.

Santana walked inside the apartment. It was rather dark. The hallway from the door was lit with candles on the floor that led to a bigger space somewhere. She turned to look at Quinn but the blonde disappeared from her previous position so Santana just settled on closing the door behind her. She then began to trail to the direction where the candles led her.

When the series of lit candles ended, she found herself in the middle of someone's living room. A dinner table for two was in the middle of the room neatly covered with white cloth and a red, flowery candle rested on it.

The whole room was dark and only candles lit the room except for some lamp in the corner that gave out just the enough amount of yellowish light to romantic-up the place.

On the other side of the room was a black medium-sized piano. Santana couldn't recognize who it is but she is sure a woman was sitting behind it ready to play whenever cued. It's dark and she can barely see the girl. She's probably wearing black.

Santana was beyond surprised and she didn't know what to feel. Why would anyone do this? Why would anyone be involved in this? And to top all of the million questions in her mind, who would do this?

She only had one person in mind but she fretted about the hope and didn't try to think anymore.

She was fluttered. She was in a different level of joy. She wanted to cry but she waited for the right moment to.

She was still scanning the place when the door of one of the rooms slowly opened.

She waited 'til someone gets out.

_Someone will get out holding a chainsaw, attack her and her life will be over. _This is what Santana thought but no, she was distracted by another thought. _A certain blonde will get out and she needed to hold nothing, just herself will complete Santana's life._

She waited at least half a minute before the piano shoot the first notes of a familiar song.

As the piano began playing and music filled the air, _ducks_ of different sizes walked out the door that opened a little earlier.

Santana's eyes immediately welled at the realization. _Who else would do this for me?_

Breathing became so hard to do but she can't help but smile while waiting for the mastermind to come out after _her _ducks.

The ducks were so adorable it made Santana awwww. It was as if the ducks were trained and the ducks walked _cutely _towards her. She can't keep her eyes off the door where the ducks came from.

She was still smiling; her heart, racing. She felt incredibly right to be there. She's never been this happy for years.

As the piano started the intro again, a familiar voice came out of the speakers she can't locate where.

_**Tired of feeling all by myself  
>Being so different from everyone else<br>Somehow you knew I needed your help  
>Be my friend forever<strong>_

Her voice wasn't any Rachel Berry. It wasn't any Mercedes Jones. It wasn't any Kurt Hummel. For goodness sake, it wasn't even close to Santana Lopez but it was way better than some Mike Chang.

And Santana knew this voice. She always heard it in the shower. She always heard it in the Cheerios locker room.

It was _her _favorite girl's voice. She didn't have any doubts.

_**I never found my star in the night  
>Building my dream was far from my sight<strong>_

As the lines faded, a tall blonde woman wearing an unfairly sexy red dress came out of the door where the ducks came from. She was holding the microphone on her right hand as she sang the lyrics, her other hand hid behind her back.

_Who knew Brittany Pierce was a romantic._

Seeing _her _again made Santana felt that her life is complete once again. Just the mere presence of the love of her life made her look forward to better places in her life and the future.

_**You came along and I saw the light  
>We'll be friends forever<strong>_

Brittany smiled at this. Her tears are streaming down but she kept her voice straight to avoid ruining the moment. She wanted to stop the song right away but Rachel Berry told her to be strong and finish the song for the Latina. They can dance and hug all night but a number like this can only be done once given the situation.

_**I can't face the thought of you leaving  
>So take me along<br>I swear I'll be strong**_

Santana's tears began falling. She was looking at Brittany and she saw the most beautiful creation she ever saw.

_**If you take me wherever you go  
>I wanna learn the things that you know<br>Now that you made me believe  
>I want you to take me<br>'Cause I long to be  
>Able to see the things that you see<br>Know that whenever you do  
>I'll follow you<strong>_

Brittany was looking at Santana and she saw the person she always loved when she first knew how it was to be really in love.

_**Somebody must have sent you to me  
>What do I have you could possibly need <strong>_

She sang the previous two lines as she moved closer to Santana, looking at her straight in the eyes.

_**All i can give is my guarantee  
>I'll love you forever<strong>_

Santana was looking at Brittany and she was looking at the girl who always made her life perfect.

Brittany was looking at Santana and she saw her whole life.

_**I can't face the thought of you leaving  
>So take me along<br>I swear I'll be strong**_

They were looking at each other and they saw the greatest possible love they can ever find in the world.

_**If you take me wherever you go I wanna learn the things that you know  
>Now that you made me believe<br>I want you to take me  
>'cause i long to be<br>Able to see the things that you see  
>Know that whenever you do<br>I'll follow you**_

Brittany looked at Santana and all she saw was her longing for love.

Santana looked at Brittany and all she saw was the person she'd been longing for.

_**Teach me more with each passing hour  
>By your side<br>I'll follow you  
>I know i would cover?<br>Is it true that you have the power  
>To capture this moment in time <strong>_

Brittany's voice trembled now.

Santana's knees are growing week.

Brittany can't wait to hug her.

Santana can't wait for the damn song to finish but her heart swells because she knew that each line was meant for her.

_**Take me wherever you go  
>I wanna learn the things that you know<br>Now that you made me believe  
>I want you to take me<br>'cause i long to be  
>Able to see the things that you see<br>Know that whenever you do  
>I'll follow you<strong>_

As the song ended and the last piano notes faded, Brittany and Santana stood in front of each other, both unbelieving that this is actually happening.

They stood there, in silence: looking at the faces they have memorized so well.

While Santana processed the event happening right before her very eyes, Brittany pulled her other hand out from her back. She was holding three red roses.

"Do you have a map?" Brittany asked as she handed Santana the flowers.

She waited for forever to hear that voice again but she was confused with what Brittany said as she received the flowers, "Huh?"

"Because I keep getting lost in your eyes."

* * *

><p><em><strong>**Song used: "Take Me, I'll Follow" by Bobby Caldwell (okay, please don't hate me for being such a fan of the oldies. I was looking for a new song, but the lyrics were so perfect I couldn't find any replacement for this. But here's a link to the version where I visualized the whole scene .comwatch?v=Dol4EVy5xlU .. And BTW, Brit changed the some of the lines to make it perfect!) The other song from Q and B's meeting will be used for the next chapter! Spoiler alert. Haha. Review please. Thank you, again!**_

_**For the next chapter: part two of Brittana. :)  
><strong>_


	18. Chapter 18: Perfect Combination II

**Author's Note: Thank you for the wonderful comments. Yey! Here's the second part of the Brittana reunion. Sorry it's rather short. The next few chapter will be back to Q and R so we have to chop it off really equally. And sorry for the late update, been really busy.  
><strong>

**Thank you all! Reviews please.**

* * *

><p>Santana smiled at Brittany's pick-up line. She shook her head realizing that the blonde always had a tendency to be hooked to such things since Brittany always wanted to make people happy by talking to them.<p>

Brittany was standing there, in front of her after five long years.

She didn't expect it but the blonde didn't really change so much physically. She looked just the same or maybe it doesn't really matter. She only knew one thing at that very moment, she's _very _happy that if she died after that, she'd certainly die happy.

When Brittany left, Santana didn't know how or where she would start her life.

She felt as if her life shattered to pieces. She is Santana Lopez but she was lifeless without the blonde of her life. She lost her reason for waking up in the morning.

She moved to LA a week before the new phase of her life started but though she knew she's already headed for college, she'd been longing for her high school sweetheart.

She was a strong woman but Brittany was her weakness – she'd give in anytime. But even though she loved to be strong around, she'd rather struggle at being strong than being without her only weakness.

She needed Brittany like she needed air. She tried reaching out to her but she was always denied. When Brittany didn't return her 14 I love you messages on Valentine's Day, Santana realized that it was over. It was over for a time and that she had to wait.

If she fell in love with Brittany because she was a good dancer – and a hot one – Santana could swear some girls in LA cold dance like Brittany. Some of them could be hotter than her but no – just _no._ There was not one second in the last five years that Santana ever thought of falling for someone not named Brittany Pierce.

When she gets home very tired from school or very drunk from a party, she would always see Quinn attending to her every need. Even if the former head Cheerio was doing a lot of school works, she would always be on-call whenever Santana needed anything.

Sometimes, Santana thought, why couldn't she just fall in love with Quinn? Quinn was heartbroken and she was lonely. _Perfect._

Quinn knows her as much as Brittany does. Quinn isn't a bad dancer; she was head cheerleader after all. Quinn is perfect, almost. And most of all, she's blonde.

Santana wouldn't admit but Quinn was her first girl crush. _Srsly! Can you blame me? Fuck off bitches and don't tell anyone._

Yeah, Quinn was her first crush but Brittany is her first love, greatest love and only love.

Why?

_I don't know, okay?_

That's true. Honestly, Santana doesn't know why she's head over heels for Brittany.

She isn't smart, as everybody knows. She has an average singing talent. She doesn't know how to cook. She doesn't even like F.R.I.E.N.D.S. because she doesn't get it. For goodness' sake, Smallville is Brittany's favorite show and Santana hates Lana Lang to ends of the Earth.

Brittany isn't everything that Santana wished for in a partner.

But Brittany needed her.

And all she wished was to be wanted, to be needed – to be loved without judgment. It was what Brittany made her feel.

Brittany was never jealous and insecure about herself or Santana. She always saw the good side of things. She is the perfect complement for Santana because the Latina is the complete opposite.

Brittany needs her and that's what mattered then, and it's all that matters now. But most of all, Brittany understood and loved her for all that she is and she is not.

No, Santana doesn't need anything else – just this girl in front of her.

_It's okay. It's enough. She's always been enough._

The piano began playing again as Brittany took Santana's hands and laced it around her neck then put her arms around the Latina's waist pulling them closer to each other.

_**I never believed in love…I was deceived by look… I never had much luck with lovers before**_

A familiar high pitched voice began singing and Santana didn't know whether to attack the girl who's singing or just stay there in Brittany's arms. She saw the look on Brittany's eyes and that made her decide to do the latter.

_**And I couldn't compete… I seemed just part of the street to be walked on by everyone but then…**_

"I dedicate that song to you," Brittany said as they leaned forehead to forehead still swaying to the sound of the piano and _Rachel Berry's _voice.

_**I found a very special love in you… It's a feeling that's so totally new… Over and over it's burning inside … And I found a very special love in you and it almost breaks me in two… Squeezing me tighter… But I'm never gonna let go**_

Brittany mouthed along the lyrics as the last six words played.

"How have you been?" Santana asked as she smiled.

"Good. I missed you, Sanny," Brittany replied as she pulled the Latina _even _closer. Their bodies are now against each other.

_**You're not like the rest… I know you're one of the best … You give more than you should and take nothing in return…**_

"Q told me you never dated anyone."

"I told you, I'll wait."

_**Stay always with me… And I always will be the one person that you can count on always to love you…**_

"The wait is over."

"Is it?"

Brittany smiled as she broke the contact between her and Santana.

The blonde then moved to the table and reached for something hidden under the table napkin on one side.

_**I found a very special love in you… It's a feeling that's so totally new… Over and over it's burning insied … And I found a very special love in you and it almost breaks me in two… Squeezing me tighter… But I'm never gonna let go…**_

Santana turned to Brittany and just as she turned to her, Brittany knelt down on her knees and showed Santana a gold, diamond-bombarded _ring_.

The piano went off-key for one second. _Sorry! I didn't expect she was doing this!_ Brittany's action shocked Rachel. And Rachel also felt Quinn's shock because the blonde was sitting beside her. She honestly didn't know how Quinn got in without the two noticing it.

Rachel decided not to sing the final chorus and just decided to play the piano because she knew Brittany had to say things.

"I know, it's been five years that we never saw each other," Brittany started.

Santana stood there, her hands trembling and her heart racing. She knows what's happening but she can't absorb it.

"But the last five years only proved my one thing," Brittany paused as she took Santana's hand, "that you are the one."

"Five years of being away from you made me realize that no matter how better I am now, I'd still prefer to be the dumb Brittany because the dumb Brittany had Santana Lopez with her. And believe me San when I say that you're all I need to be complete."

Brittany can't help but cry. She .word.

Santana's heart is on cloud 9. She's crying and she doesn't care. She feels happy, that's all.

"Five long years, Santana… five long years and not a day passed that I didn't wish you were there with me. I love you, San. I love you and now that you can be proud of me, I hope you still love me the way you loved the dumb Brittany Pierce."

"Five long years and I never stopped loving you. I never stopped being good for you. I love you, Santana Lopez."

Santana smiled as her eyes searched for Quinn inside the room. She found the blonde beside the piano smiling at her, in tears. Quinn was nodding. _It's probably a go signal._

"Five long years and I never stopped thinking that a name like Santana always sounded good with Pierce as the last name."

Santana's eyes grew wide as she looked at Brittany who was then with wishful eyes.

"Without further ado, Santana Lopez… will you be mine? Forever?"

Santana's heart cannot contain it. She can't contain it.

Brittany continued, "Will you be Mrs. Santana Lopez-Pierce? Marry me."

That was it. She heard it.

She freakin' heard it!

Santana could swear she wanted to scream on top of her voice.

She swallowed thickly as she replied, "No."

Again, the piano went off-pitched for a second. _Okay! I'm so sorry. I didn't expect Santana to say that! She's a life-ruiner._

Brittany's heart raced.

But even before Brittany or Rachel or Quinn could react, Santana smiled and said, "No. I'm not going to be Santana Lopez-Pierce. You're going to be Brittany Pierce-Lopez."

Brittany smiled. Her heart is lost. She thinks Santana stole it.

Santana smiled as Brittany slid the ring onto her ring finger and noticed Brittany was already wearing the same ring.

She helped Brittany up from her knees as the blonde made face.

"Oh, my knees hurt," Brittany said as she smiled. "Don't ever do that again, I almost thought you said no to marrying me! Bad Sanny, bad," the blonde said as she again pulled the Latina closer.

Santana – in a not very Santana way – pressed her lips against Brittany's, _gently_.

"I love you, B. I don't know if it matters anymore but just so you know, you were enough and will always be enough for me," Santana said as she smiled.

"Thank you, San… for everything," Brittany said as tears approached once more.

Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany and rested her chin on the blonde's shoulder, "Thank you, B."

"For tonight?"

"Thank you… for loving me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>**Song Used: Very Special Love. They lyrics are soooo good.<strong>_

_**And for the next chapter: Santana vs Rachel**_


	19. Chapter 19: The Grudge

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. Y'all have been really awesome. I hope you like this chapter. And I am soooo sorry for the late update. Been sick. Gaaaad. And I srsly think I'm having writer's block.**

**But please review. Thanks! Hope y'all like it.**

* * *

><p>For the next hour and a half, Brittany and Santana exchanged stories about how their lives have been since graduation.<p>

They shared their horrifying attempts at one-night-stands and other school stuffs. Every once in a while, Santana would talk about how she adores her engagement ring which made Brittany really proud.

They shared a bottle of white wine that Quinn bought for them. Santana would also, every once in a while, shout out to Quinn and Rachel who were stuck in one of the rooms with the ducks.

_It was Rachel and Brit's apartment first of all and the ducks terrified Rachel. _Rachel sat defensively on the bed holding a pillow willing to shove any of the ducks that approached her. She loves animals but not when their inside her room.

Quinn just watched Rachel talk to the ducks saying "please be nice cute little duckies, go to mommy Quinn over there, she loves you."

All those time, Quinn and Rachel never talked. Well, Rachel talked to the ducks and that was all that happened inside the room and some occasional laughing from Quinn when she sees Rachel really get in an _argument _with the ducks.

After realizing that Santana and Brittany needed more than an hour and a half to fill the five lost years, they decided to spend the night in Quinn and Santana's place just a few blocks away.

They were about to tip-toe their way out when Brittany entered the room and invited them for a toast.

Soon as Brittany said it, Rachel jumped into Brittany excitedly as she said and blabbered about something like she's happy for Brittany. Well, Quinn doubted they really understood each other because they were squealing and hugging and jumping.

Before she went out of the room, she already heard Rachel presenting herself as the wedding singer.

Quinn smiled and shook her head as she walked out of the room and saw Santana obviously expecting her. The lights in the living room are now all lit and she saw the sweet smile on Santana's face as their eyes met.

She quickly approached Santana who welcomed her for a hug. Unlike Brittany and Rachel's their hug was quiet.

And in that short hug, Quinn knew Santana was happy. When Santana is happy, she's speechless.

"Wow, Q. I gotta say, you're the best bestfriend evah," Santana said as she raised her wine glass and handed one to Quinn.

Quinn accepted and raised her glass as well, "I told you, you can thank me later."

Santana smiled impressed, "Thank you, Q. Srsly!"

Quinn just nodded and smiled.

"I can't believe I'm engaged," Santana said as she drank her wine straight.

Quinn shook her head in positive disbelief, "Me neither."

Santana looked puzzled.

"HA! I didn't know she was proposing. I nearly shrieked!"

Santana laughed, "That would've been priceless Q!"

"Of course, I didn't let it get the better of me so I decided to shriek in the house tomorrow," Quinn said as she smiled.

Santana then went back to looking at her ring. She'd probably done it a hundred times that night, "I really can't believe it."

"I'm happy for you, S."

Santana slowly looked up at Quinn. From her peripheral vision, she saw Rachel and Brittany getting out of the room. Soon as she was sure that both girls were out enough to hear what she's about to say, she said, "Thanks, Q. I really wish to see you get engaged with a person who would actually have the balls to do propose."

Quinn knew Santana meant those words but she also meant for Rachel to hear it.

And Santana did. _Man, when I saw Rachel Berry a few moments ago. I wanted to punch her back to Lima._

Soon as she finished the sentence, she turned to Brittany and smiled sweetly, slightly ignoring the other girl.

"There's my fiancé, Q. The one who will tell and make me feel that she loves me but would never take it back like some old high school shit that you buy and use for a while and when you get done with it, you just throw it away."

Something in the air has changed. Quinn tried to keep her composure. She knew what Santana was doing.

Brittany looked at Quinn who smiled as if she was innocent. And then she looked at Rachel who was trying her best not to think Santana's pinning her.

Finally, Santana decided to acknowledge Rachel's presence, "Oh, hi! Berry, I haven't seen you in years! Why did it have to happen today? Or ever?"

Brittany shot Santana a look as Quinn moved a little to help her ease the tension that was rising.

"I mean, why didn't our paths crossed before! I totally missed you," Santana said the last four words bitterly.

Rachel swallowed hard and looked at Santana, "I-it's nice to… to meet you again, S. I mean Santana."

"Oh did Tina's spirit possess you? You're stuttering. You never really stutter unless you're afraid, am I right, R?"

"Well, it's been a long day," Rachel said as she straightened up trying _all things possible _to be strong.

"Well, Ms. Berry and I decided to stay at _our _place for the night, S," Quinn said trying to be the hero. "We guessed you need more time to catch up and maybe some-"

"Sexy times!" Brittany finished for Quinn.

"Yeah, sexy times," Quinn said as she looked at Brittany and smiled.

Santana softened a little bit, "Well, you're right, Q. We really need that. Thanks Q. You're such an amazing person and I wonder why some people ever manage to turn their backs on you despite how much you have loved them."

Silence.

Santana looked at Rachel and Rachel looked at Santana as if there was some staring championship going on. Rachel gave up first. Her heart was breaking in Santana's stare. The Latina's eye reminded her of all the heartbreaks and the terrible things she did.

"We better get going, S. And again, congratulations," Quinn said once again hugging Santana as she gave the Latina a meaningful pat in the back.

Santana got the message. Quinn was telling her to stop. She sighed and smiled, "Seriously, Q. Thank you."

"Yeah, Q. Thank you," Brittany said as she hugged Quinn.

"Don't surprise us like that again," Quinn said as she shook her head.

"And thank you, too, Rach. You're the best!" Brittany said as she hugged Rachel.

"No problem, Brit. Anytime," Rachel said smilingly.

Santana sighed loudly, she can't believe she'd say this, "Thank you, Berry. You sang the song pretty well."

She was sincere about thanking Rachel for the song and Rachel knew that Santana meant it. They looked into each other's eyes and she saw that the Santana who became her friend in senior year was still there but there's just some other reason why she's not being as nice. _Rachel knew the reason. She knew it very well._

Rachel just nodded and smiled.

o-o-o-o-o

_Senior year – the one year in Rachel's life that all the pieces seemed to fit._

_ The shock of that first day when Santana stood up for her was nothing compared to the next few days that the three most popular Cheerios protected her around._

_ Not only did her life span extended with less bullying but she was sure she found "friends" in the person of the most unlikely people on Earth._

_ She even thought it was more possible to be friends with Barbra Streisand than be friends with Quinn Fabray and her two sidekicks._

_ The heck she was wrong._

_ "I'm keeping it short and simple, Berry," Quinn started as she sat across Rachel in a cafeteria table that lunch. It was her first lunch with her new found friends. Brittany asked her to come._

_ Despite her doubts about Quinn and Santana's intentions, she decided to sit with them – after all, it's been two months of being safe from slushies. And hello, they're Brittany, Santana and Quinn, no one turns their invitation down._

_ "I'm sorry about everything I put you through the past couple of years," Quinn said looking straight into Rachel's eyes. "I know that this would sound weird but yeah, man hands, sorry," Quinn finished._

_ "Don't be taken aback by the name calling, Rach. They're bad at nicknames," Brittany said addressing Quinn's speech._

_ "Well," Rachel started her speech. "As much as I am excited about this new phase in our lives, I would like to ask a question. Why are you doing this Brittany, Santana and Quinn?"_

_ "People change, Rach," Brittany said casually as if she says it everyday. But it was a slap on Rachel's face._

_ What was she thinking when she thought that the three can never change? She has always been that kind of person who believes in the best out of people. And now, when Brittany said it, she regretted every second she spent thinking that all of this was just a show._

_ She looked at Quinn who was looking at her apologetically. She turned to Brittany, who was busy eating her pasta and then to Santana who's been silent._

_ Rachel can't help but remember at how Santana always stayed behind Quinn when the blonde stepped for her honor. Though she still hasn't figured it out yet, she admired Santana's efforts of making it up to Quinn for letting her down when Quinn was pregnant. _

_She also can't help but notice Santana's one-liner shot down at Mercedes and Kurt whenever they insulted the diva. Rachel found it very weird but she loved it. She loved it how her life has changed._

_The Latina practically noticed Rachel's stare and said, "What?"_

_Rachel just smiled._

"_I know we've been bad the past years but it's not too late to maybe change things," Quinn said a little too timidly. Rachel smiled at the back of her mind finding it adorable that Quinn isn't really good at dealing with the word "sorry"._

"_I hated you for reasons I don't understand either. I put you through so much. But after everything, I can't deny that you are a great person, a little annoying sometimes, but still good. You're talented and…"_

_Rachel again smiled at the back of her mind and found Quinn's rambling adorable._

"_We thought you didn't deserve the harsh treatment," Brittany said finishing Quinn's sentence._

_Santana immediately snapped, "Mind you, RuPaul. There were instances you deserved it."_

"_Thank you, Santana. I know that. But as much as I want to change everything in a snap, I can't. I hope you understand that this is too much to process."_

"_We know. I know it seems that we are the ones reaching out but it doesn't mean it's easy for Q and S to swallow their pride and try to make things right. It's senior year, Rach. Some time soon, we won't anymore have the chance to get it right," Brittany said poker faced, again saying as if it was no big deal._

_Why does it seem like she's saying all the right things? Rachel thought._

"_Not to mention totally risking rep for a friendship with Rachel Berry," Santana said in her usual way of saying things._

"_If we want this to work, we should meet half-way. We change, you change. And don't worry, if I have to prove everyday that I'm a changed person, I would," Quinn said slightly lowering her head._

_Rachel's heart raced at this. She hates to admit it but she's starting to believe them._

"_Thank you Santana, Brittany and Quinn. I appreciate the effort. And in all willingness to make this year a blast, I would like to give you three a chance as I give myself a chance to be happy by actually having friends. This is very unlikely but since the school year started, I felt safer around you three and I thank you for that," Rachel said in a breath._

"_Gaaaaad!" Brittany said rolling her eyes. "Think I won'ts be able to eat this anymore. It's like having lunch with a machine gun," Santana said._

_The other three in the table laughed._

_Rachel straightened up trying to keep herself from giggling, "Well, if you're going to be friends with me you have to be used to a lot of talk."_

_Santana sighed rolling her eyes, "Whatev. It's like Glee club meeting every hour of the day."_

_Again, the three laughed._

_Once the laughs faded, Rachel said, "This could be easy."_

"_Surprisingly," Quinn said smilingly._

"_Would it be as easy trying to change your fashion sense?" Santana asked._

"_Animal sweaters are cool, S," Brittany said._

_Rachel turned to Santana and playfully mocked her Cheerios uniform, "At least I have identity. Would you try to replace yours with some personality?"_

_Though surprised by Rachel's sudden self-defense, Santana just smiled and said, "You call animal sweaters a personality. Oooooh, I'd rather have none!"_

_Quinn and Brittany just laughed at the argument._

"_Nice try at mockery, Berry," Santana said clapping proudly for Rachel. "Didn't know you had it in you. This could be interesting," she finished laughingly._

_And at that, Rachel's life changed._

_No more slushies, no more taunting. Admittedly, it was nice to wake up in the morning and see her phone usually with three messages from the people she now call friends. It goes the same at night and it's been a routine when Santana would tease her before the Latina texts  
>"g'night". <em>

_Later on, she was invited to sleepovers at Brittany or Santana's house but usually it would just be her and Quinn in the blonde's room because the other two suddenly needed their "alone" time._

_Among the three, she grew closest to Quinn. The head Cheerio's personality surprised her. Somehow, she knew that there's more to Quinn than just her pretty face but what she found out was even more than she expected._

_Quinn is an amazing person – and maybe, "amazing" is an understatement._

_Though generally quiet, Quinn was really good for company. She laughed at Rachel's corniest jokes and would sometimes laugh hard at it. _

_She figured that Quinn was really, really smart and the blonde was really, really good at Math. She learned that Quinn was a beyond perfect cook. And she loved how the blonde adjusted to Rachel's vegan perspective. And in no time, she loved Quinn's cooking more than her dads'._

_ Quinn was relatively sensitive about family and family issues. She once knew that Quinn bullied a student in one her classes because she told Quinn about that the kid insulted her fathers. Though she never really cared at what people said about her dads, she loved how Quinn stood up for her and her family._

_ Actually, in all aspects, Quinn defended her._

_ Of all the things she learned about Quinn, the thing that surprised her the most was about how affectionate and sweet the blonde was._

_ Quinn would always give her a kiss on the cheek whenever they met in the morning. She would always hug her whenever they parted ways for their classes. When they walked home, the blonde would protectively wrap her arms around the diva's waist._

_ She would fall asleep on Rachel's shoulder when the movie bored her. She would always pull Rachel to her lap and stroke her brunette hair when they watched movies._

_ And Rachel loved it most when they had sleepovers and she would wake up wrapped around the arms of the cheerleader._

_ No matter how new all of it was to her, at some point, she wished to wake up in that position for the rest of her life._

_ What was I thinking? That was Rachel's mind talking._

Rachel's thoughts were disturbed by Santana's voice behind her.

She turned and realizes that the Latina was there, arms folded in front of her chest and eyes looking the same old Santana – the one before they became friends.

"It's just the two us, Berry. Finally," Santana started. Her voice was calm but Rachel knew Mt. Santana – a dangerously active volcano, ready to erupt when provoked.

Brittany walked Quinn to wait for a cab because she wanted to tell Quinn about her future plans. In the middle of her thoughts, she heard Quinn said that she'd wait for her in the cab.

Rachel was about to tell Santana how good it was seeing her again but just as she opened her mouth, Santana spoke.

"I don't like seeing you around with Quinn. It makes me want to use Coach Sylvester's cannon and propel you somewhere so far away so we'd never see you again."

"Santana, I-"

"No, Berry. You don't get to speak. I do. You're in my world. And you've done too much talking to Quinn, I actually think you spit poison."

Rachel swallowed and Santana's lack of expression scared her. She knew this is the _very _angry Santana.

"When I heard that she was going to work for you, I nearly tied her at the foot of the bed. Just this once Berry let me say this," Santana said poking harshly at Rachel's chest, "you're a bitch."

"A selfish, self-centered horrible bitch," Santana clenched her fist at her own words.

Rachel was _this _close to tears. _She knew where Santana was coming from._

"All Q did was love you and what did she get in return?"

"Santana, I was scared!"

Rachel saw Santa's hand approach her face. She closed her eyes. _Slap!_

The diva heard a hard, solid sound. For one second she thought Santana slapped her. But when she opened her eyes she saw Santana's hand against the wall. Santana's was already turning red and she was panting but her eyes were closed.

Santana wanted to slap Rachel. She wanted to make her feel how angry she was at the diva. But no, she wouldn't lay a hand on Rachel. Quinn trained her too well for that.

The Latina opened her eyes and tears were almost coming out. She looked straight right into the diva's eyes and said in between breaths, "You do not know how it feels seeing Quinn so much more devastated than she was when she got pregnant."

Rachel gasped.

"You do not know how heartbreaking it was to hear your bestfriend cry every single night because she misses some hobbit and she couldn't do anything about it."

Rachel was already in tears.

"And you certainly do not know how it feels to try and fix a broken Quinn Fabray who only asked to be loved in return."

Santana's voice trembled and her tears are now streaming.

"You do not know Rachel, because you are a heartless, insensitive person. And you know what?"

Rachel can't help but look down.

"You don't deserve Quinn! You don't deserve anyone. You don't deserve to be loved because you do not know how to love!"

"And I swear to Coach Sylvester's trophies that I will never let you hurt Quinn again. She's gone too far and I can't let her go back, especially not to you. You're worse than her father and Finn."

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><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: Rachel remembers now.<strong>_


	20. Chapter 20: The Ugly Truth

**Author's Note: Hey y'all! Thank you again for the reviews. I love how you guys reacted to the part where Santana took it out in Rachel. Oh well, I dunno. I'm with Santana in this. LOL. You'll know. *smile***

**Again, thank you. And I hope you keep reading. Yay! I love you all.**

* * *

><p>The truth is Rachel was shocked.<p>

The truth is Rachel didn't expect Santana to be that angry.

The truth is it's been five long years that she didn't see Santana and she missed her friend that always protected her.

The truth is Rachel was running out of the building, she was crying like hell.

The truth is everything that Santana said was partly true. She always knew that Santana never lied when it comes to her remarks about people. The Latina might have those words that always hurt but she's right, most of the time.

The truth is Rachel was running towards the cab that Quinn got for them to head to Quinn's and Santana's place but she didn't want to. She wants to go spend the night with a friend but aside from Brittany who just got engaged, she doesn't have "other" friends.

Truth is… Rachel loved Quinn. But the uglier truth is Rachel doesn't know if past tense is the right tense to use.

_Back in Senior Year_

_ Again, senior year was the last time Rachel Berry ever felt alive._

_ The entire school already started respecting them after their somewhat unsuccessful trip to New York for Nationals. Well, they didn't win but they still got to New York. It's New York. The fact that they got there had the entire school thinking they're awesome. They got to freakin' New York – most of people don't even get outside of Ohio._

_ Rachel's got the entire Glee Club behind her, especially the three people who loved her and no it's not Finn, Mr. Schue and Brad._

_ Rachel was happy. Rachel's life was perfect._

_ It was after they won Regionals that Brittany asked if they could come to an amusement park that just opened a couple of minutes away from Lima. Santana said yes and Quinn said she will not come if Rachel won't._

_ Rachel never really like amusement parks, it never really amused her. Plus, she's scared of the rides. But Santana swore she'd hate Rachel if Quinn won't come because of her. So apparently, the four of them went._

_ Brittany was the most excited one. Santana was excited for Brittany. As Santana drove and Brittany sat across her on the passenger's seat, Quinn and Rachel sat at the back. Rachel just said something about how she hated the roller coaster and then saw Quinn's expression turn into a mischievous smile._

_ She knew she was right. She knew Quinn all too well to know that the blonde had something on her mind._

_ The next thing she knew she was being dragged to the line that led to the roller coaster. She was trying hard to get away from the hands of Santana and Quinn. She was rambling about being afraid of screaming too hard and losing her voice and the New Directions would lose Nationals._

_ Both of the girls just smiled at Rachel's lame excuse as they held her tight in the arms dragging her to the roller coaster._

_ They were already at the top of the line when Rachel gave up fighting for her life. She's gonna die and she will never reach Broadway. That's what she thought._

_ Soon as they were settled on their seats: Santana and Brittany sat in front of them. Quinn was just finished locking up herself up on the seat as she turned to Rachel who was freaking out on how to lock it and if it was safe enough to hold her so she won't die._

_ "Calm down, Rach. It's not like you're gonna die," Quinn said calmly leaning towards Rachel and locked her up in her seat._

_ Rachel couldn't rebut Quinn's preach because Quinn was too close. She can almost feel the blonde's cheek in her face. She felt tensed so she just decided to answer when Quinn sat comfortably back to her position._

_ "I swear to Barbra Streisand if I die, I'm gonna visit you every night."_

_ Quinn smiled, "I like that. Guess I won't be missing you."_

_ Rachel's eyes widened, "I can't believe you Quinn Fabray!"_

_ "Rach, I swear to Coach Sylvester that I'd die first before you do."_

_ Rachel was feeling a lot nervous a couple of moments before but after Quinn said that, she relaxed a bit._

_ "Eeeew, Q. You didn't!" Santana said. "Okay… I'm gonna pretend you didn't just flirt with the dwarf!" Santana snapped._

_ "Shut up, S," Quinn said smilingly before she turned to Rachel and said, "Rach, I'm here, remember. I won't let anything hurt you."_

_ "Imagine that S? Snow White and one of the dwarfs totally getting it on," Brittany said laughingly._

_ Quinn smiled, took Rachel's hand and clasped it tightly. Rachel clasped back and she suddenly felt braver._

_ "For once in your life, stop thinking about Broadway! Scream on top of your voice not worrying about how it will hurt our chances at Nationals or anything."_

_ At that, the engine started and weeeee went the roller coaster._

_ Everyone screamed as the roller coaster ran fast and twirled in its rail. Everyone was shouting really loud and Rachel did too! She never screamed a lot of "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" in her entire life than she did at that moment._

_ Here she is in one of her most terrifying experiences but feeling Quinn's hand in hers, she felt safe. She felt as if nothing could go wrong._

_ As the roller coaster reached its peak and slowed down for the big fall out, Rachel looked at Quinn as Quinn clasped her hand tightly._

_ Before she knew it, the ride was on its way down._

_ "I love youuuuuuuuuuu, Racheeeeeeeeeel!"_

_ As the ride went down, Rachel felt her heart hang in mid-air. She felt blood rush inside her. But she wasn't able to scream. She lost her voice. No, she lost all her senses. She can't feel anything aside from her heart dancing._

_ She doesn't know if it was because of the roller coaster or if it was about Quinn's declaration._

_ But she felt incredible. She felt she could fly. No, she was flying already. She's on cloud 9. No, maybe cloud 10 or 11. She doesn't know what cloud. But she's sure she's close to heaven._

_ Soon as that, they were already walking down towards an ice cream bar – the only one that had vegan ice cream. She could hear her three other friends talking about how great the ride was and actually talking about how Brittany screamed "Fuck me San!" all the way._

_ She wanted to laugh at this but she can't. She didn't hear Brittany screaming about it. She only remembers Quinn's very out-of-character voice, screaming that she loved someone named Rachel. And her name is Rachel, she reminded herself. Quinn was holding her hand when she screamed "I love you, Rachel" and it's impossible to be a co-incidence that there was another Rachel in Quinn's life that Quinn loved that much to scream about it._

_ Rachel was contemplating about it as she stared at her hand which was still linked to Quinn's. The blonde was practically dragging her because she was too busy thinking, she can't even keep up with the hyped up girls._

_ "Are you okay, Rach?" Quinn asked, her voice sounded concerned._

_ Rachel looked up and saw Quinn facing her._

_ "Rach, say something. Oh God, I am so sorry for forcing you to ride," Rachel saw Quinn was this near to freaking out. She saw Santana and Brittany behind Quinn watching them._

_ "What up, R? You okay?" the Latina asked a little casually but her face spelled concern as well as Brittany's._

_ Rachel rose from her grave of thoughts, "I'm okay!"_

_ The three looked surprised with the sudden reply._

_ "I mean, I actually had a blast," Rachel smiled trying to shove her thoughts of Quinn's declaration._

_ "Well, we gonna go inside and get you ice cream. You stay here," Santana said as she and Brittany went inside the ice cream parlor. She can still feel Quinn's eyes studying her._

_ She looked up again at Quinn and their eyes met. That's when her hands started to tremble. Her knees are growing weak in Quinn's eyes and she felt as if she'd drown into those beautiful eyes she didn't realize she loved staring at, until now._

_ Quinn smiled trying to tell Rachel everything will be okay but it made Rachel sink even more. Quinn's eyes smiles when she smiles. Rachel adored this so much but she only realized it now._

_ "Hey, Rach. It's true what Brittany said that it gets scary when you don't speak," Quinn said._

_ Her voice, she loved Quinn's voice. Quinn's voice when she's singing is not flawless but good. Good enough to make Rachel's heart swell with pride everytime the blonde sang in Glee. But Quinn's voice when she's just speaking, it's all sorts of magic. Hearing that voice first thing in the morning and last at night, it made Rachel's life worth living. Again, she only realized it._

_ What she didn't realize is that she was already crying and she saw Quinn panic based on her facial expression. Quinn was so good at hiding her feelings to others but Rachel thought Quinn was a lot transparent to her._

_ Quinn hugged her, tight. And she never knew that a person could realize a lot of things in the course of a minute but she realized another thing._

_ This hug… this particular hug – no, the person hugging her at that moment. This warmth, these arms, this smell, this shoulder she's resting her chin onto, this – this person. This certain Quinn Fabray… this girl, this person is what's keeps Rachel Berry together. This is the one reason Rachel finds a song to sing about good life, about friendship… about love. This one person is everything right about her life._

_ She wrapped her arms around Quinn and she could feel Quinn hugging her tighter. Rachel sighed and closed her eyes, "Thank you, Quinn Fabray."_

_ She felt the blonde smile._

_ "Thank you for changing my life," Rachel said forgetting the world._

_ They stood there for a couple more seconds and they hugged in silence ignoring the people passing and moving around them. Rachel knew that Santana and Brittany were watching them from somewhere but she didn't care._

_ "Is this okay with you?" Quinn asked obviously not willing to let go just yet._

_ "Yeah," Rachel answered._

_ If she counted, it's been just eight months of friendship with Quinn. But interpreting it, it's been eight months of nothing but pure happiness. And to describe how happy Rachel was that whole eight months? Well, Rachel Berry was just too happy she didn't actually take it as a big deal when Mercedes sang the solo at Regionals. She told Mr. Schue that she's okay with singing a part or two and that she enjoyed just swaying in the background with her friends. The feeling of goofing around at rehearsals made it all worth it. See?_

_ And in that moment in that unusual place with the most unlikely person, Rachel felt the most unfamiliar feeling._

_ She's in love._

_ She's in love with Quinn._

_ Madly._

o-o-o-o-o

Santana, on the other hand, ran towards the bathroom.

After Rachel ran out, she wanted to slap herself for taking it out on the diva. She actually liked and loved Rachel back in senior high. Rachel was hard to bear with but she adored at how resilient the girl was.

She ran to the bathroom and leaned on the sink with her hands. She breathed heavily and then washed her face abruptly hoping to wash all the mixed emotions. She just wanted to be happy because she's finally engaged but seeing Rachel made all those memories come back. And she always waited for the day she can finally get back at the person who hurt her bestfriend so much. Well, everybody knows nobody hurts the people that Santana Lopez loves and get away with it.

_Sophomore Year in College_

_ The phone rang and Santana rushed from her bed to the phone resting on Quinn's side table. She picked up the phone and looked at the blonde's empty bed before answering it._

_ "Hello… Yes, this is her roommate… What? Fuck! Damn it!" Santana said as she talked to the person in the other line. As she cursed, she moved around the petite dorm, grabbed her coat and gloves, slipped it in and dug for her purse._

_ "Oh you better do everything midget! Once I graduate from med school you gonna pay for it once something worse happens to her!"_

_ After that, Santana tossed the phone to her bed and ran off._

_ Half an hour after, she found herself waiting inside the school clinic. She's pacing back and forth impatiently, when the nurse approached her._

_ "What now bitch?"_

_ The nurse was slightly taken aback but kept her composure, "She's inside the bathroom. She'd been blowing up all afternoon."_

_ Santana's confusion grew, "What the hell is happening?" She rushed to the door of the bathroom in the clinic and knocked as furious as she possibly could._

_ "Q! Open the door! Or I will!" Santana shouted and knocked furiously._

_ "It's not helping you know?" the nurse said._

_ Santana then turned to the nurse, "What the hell is your problem? You God damn nurses are freaking fan of Nip/Tuck or Grey's Anatomy you all like to postpone the moment before announcing to the freaking family of the patient what the heck is happening to their loved one!"_

_ Santana said everything in a breath. She could hear Quinn still blowing up and Santana's heart broke at the little sobs that came with it._

_ "Quinn Fabray, open the door or I will bust in!" Santana said running a little too impatient already. "What happened to no alcohol on weekdays!"_

_ The nurse shook her head, "She's not drunk. She's not pregnant. She's not food poisoned."_

_ It hit her. Santana looked at the nurse straight in the eyes and soon as the nurse nodded, Santana knew what was happening. Her eyes were suddenly clouded with tears and she felt her heart breaking for Quinn._

_ Quinn had been like that for the past few weeks. She'd throw up after meals. Throw up every once in a while. Eat a lot and then complain about how fat she looks when in fact, she's still of normal weight, in fact, she looked best._

_ She practically threw out every inch of food she ate all day and Santana thought it was just because Quinn was drunk when she hears her throwing up in the middle of the night. She saw how Quinn ate all her depression in and then let it all out by throwing up and crying almost every night._

_ "I'm afraid, Dr. Luke would refer her to the school psychologist for consultation," the nurse said as she handed Santana Quinn's waiver for consultation. "You're practically her guardian, so if you could sign the papers for now, we could get her to recover sooner. We've sent the letter to the Fabrays in Ohio."_

_ Santana looked at the papers and wanted to burn it along with the nurse._

_ "Is… is it what I think it is?" Santana said shaking off the fear._

_ "Bulimia nervosa," the nurse said as she handed Santana a pen. "We need to get her to talk to someone before it gets worse. I heard her calling a name the other day when she was also brought here because of excessive blow," the nurse paused._

_ Santana gasped. _

_ "Is hmm… Rach… Rachel. I think that's the name. She around?"_

_ Santana shook her head and the nurse practically got the answer. Santana signed the papers and handed it back to the nurse sighing. It's gonna be one heck of a sophomore year for Santana._

_ The moment she got to see Quinn looking more vulnerable than ever that night, she swore to herself and Lima Heights Adjacent that she's gonna stand by her best friend from that day forward, no matter what. No matter who._

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: How about Quinn's thoughts?<strong>_


	21. Chapter 21: Nights and Days

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews and thank you for everything! LOL. I'm sorry for this late update but I hope you like it.**

**Major cliffy ahead. Yay! I'm so excited for revealing the whole past to you. So yeah, we'll start now.**

* * *

><p>The next morning, everything went normally about Rachel's life. She could only remember sitting beside Quinn inside the cab and staying silent the entire night because she felt as if crying a river once she tried talking to Quinn.<p>

The blonde, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice. _Or so Rachel thought_. She was busy indulging all night on Rachel's website answering some interesting fan mails and publishing press releases about Rachel's upcoming shows.

Well, actually, Rachel was wrong when she thought that Quinn didn't notice. When Quinn saw Rachel try to hide her tears when she approached the cab last night, Quinn hurriedly put out her laptop and pretended to do something really significant. It still scared her to see Rachel in a vulnerable state. _She didn't know how to react so she pretended she didn't know anything at all._

Rachel woke up that morning with a text from Brittany saying she needed to talk to Rachel about something over breakfast. Brittany told her that Santana went to class early. Before heading back to her own apartment, she thought twice about leaving sleeping (Quinn) beauty alone.

But then, just upon thinking about Quinn, Rachel decided she can't handle any more emotional torture so she left Quinn a note saying that she'll see her at rehearsal that afternoon.

The next thing she knew, she's inside her and Brittany's home, sitting and having breakfast with her newly-engaged roommate. She wasn't okay, so she never really talked but Brittany knew better.

"San told me about her yelling," Brittany said quietly.

Rachel just sighed.

"Rach, I'm truly sorry about what she did but you really can't-"

"Blame her?" Rachel said looking up at Brittany and then going back to staring at her cup of coffee resting on the table. "I'm not really blaming her. I just don't understand because I… She was right. I don't know anything."

Brittany straightened up, "Rach. Can I be honest with you?"

Rachel felt a little nervous about this but this is Brittany, she knows this girl never wants to hurt anyone. "Sure," she replied.

"Sometimes, I think you don't have a heart."

Rachel's tears threatened her eyes. _She, in fact, has a heart and it's breaking right now._

"But, living with you, I realized that you're just scared to let anyone in because it was rudely broken by Finn, Glee… and others. But you know what Rachel?"

Rachel looked at Brittany who was actually looking very sincere.

"When you got hurt once in your life, it doesn't mean you'll have to hurt the world by pretending you don't need anyone else," Brittany blinked. "Sometimes, honestly, R. It hurts me when you shut me down," Brittany's eyes stared directly at Rachel.

"But I understand you and I never hated you for hurting me. But look at you, R. You're not happy. And though the world can believe that you are happy, you can't fool me because I and Santana saw Rachel Berry when she was _really _happy. And this," she points at Rachel, "is not that Rachel."

Rachel's tears were now streaming down her face.

"San told me about Quinn's sickness," Brittany said a little hesitantly.

Rachel's heart raced. She can't even look at Brittany. She remembered the reason she cried herself to sleep last night aside from the Santana incident. She called Charles and asked about how he met Quinn. Charles was at first hesitant to answer but then gave out the lines that killed Rachel for the night.

_"Quinn's professor in college was my sister. She told me about how good Quinn was and how she felt sorry for her. Quinn was a devastated young girl in college, she suffered from bulimia for almost a year and a half. My sister felt bad about her because she was young and beautiful. She wanted me to call Quinn's firm and get her for you. Apparently, my sister wasn't wrong about Quinn being beautiful and young, not to mention smart. I feel secretly sorry about her but look at Quinn now. She's all good."_

"I asked..." Rachel's silent tears turned into sobs. Just the images of the devastated and broken Quinn Fabray shattered her whole being into pieces.

It hurt her to even just imagine how such an amazing, beautiful and charming young woman would suffer such thing. Rachel's heart broke at how Quinn paid for the consequences of teenage pregnancy but this, bulimia, is another thing. Quinn was an angel in Rachel's eyes and still is. And it broke Rachel's heart thinking that _she _might and most definitely be the reason behind it.

"You already know?" Brittany asked.

Rachel still can't look at Brittany, "I asked Charles last night."

"San told me," Brittany's voice trembled as tears started to form in her eyes, "Quinn calls your name when it hurt so much."

That, and Brittany broke into sobs. So did Rachel.

"I went to see her when the tour came to LA," Brittany tried to keep talking in between sobs, "she was pale and thin and she looked… really bad."

Suddenly, breathing became so hard for Rachel.

"And before we parted ways after we had dinner that time," Brittany sighed. Honestly, this is breaking her. "Q told me to never put sugar on your tea because it gives you really bad dreams," Brittany finished.

Hearing that, Rachel stood from her stool and ran to Brittany. She hugged the blonde and the blonde held her as if it was one of those drunken nights.

"I… didn't mean to hurt… her, B," Rachel said trying to sound okay despite the crying and sobbing and panting.

"I know, Rach."

o-o-o-o-o

Aside from pretending she wasn't really aware of Rachel's sadness, Quinn rather had a simple night. The ride to her and Santana's place was silent, awkward and lonely. She checked on Rachel's schedule for the whole month although she already memorized it, it was the only way to avoid Rachel.

When they got home, Quinn asked Rachel if she wanted to eat something but the brunette just replied with a silent no and then asked where she would be sleeping. Quinn knew at that Rachel didn't want to talk. She knew Rachel a lot in this aspect, if she wanted to talk, she would. So Quinn didn't push the subject and just showed Rachel Santana's room and left her there.

Quinn didn't know what happened in that brief moment between Rachel and Santana but she was sure Rachel was affected by it. But she can't do anything. Santana told her too many times before that she wouldn't be holding back if ever she sees the diva. She was warned.

She doesn't make it show but the thought about Santana taking it on Rachel broke her apart. She loved Rachel more than she could love anyone. _Loved._

_Back in senior year_

_ Quinn was in love. It was one thing that the blonde was sure about when she woke up that morning._

_ Quinn Fabray was a girl broken from the inside. Her insecurities and uncertainties kept her away from people she loved but this is different. The same broken Quinn Fabray was sure about something for the first time in her life._

_ It was six in the morning and she has Cheerios practice in about an hour. She found it hard to start her morning routine having only two or three hours of sleep._

_ Okay, so Quinn spent the whole night talking to Rachel over the phone. _

_ This had been their routine over the past few weeks, okay, months. The diva never really liked staying up late but she always refuses to hang up._

_ They spend the first three to four hours talking about school, Glee, careers, New York, Broadway; sometimes they talked about nothing. Sometimes, ten minutes will pass without them saying a word – it might be because Rachel was so focused on watching another musical or maybe Quinn was focused on the book she was reading – but none of them will hang up._

_ Sometimes, they talked about the color of Rachel's pillow though Quinn knew it was pink. She only asked it for the sake of conversation and she adored how Rachel said pink is the color of beauty._

_ They spend the final hour of their incredibly long phone talk just arguing about who should hang up first. Rachel didn't want to hang up because she would reason that Quinn was the one who called so Quinn should hang up. And Quinn would just say that she doesn't want to hang up because she wants Rachel to sing her to sleep. Sometimes, Rachel actually sang to her but when Quinn fell asleep on her once, she never did it again._

_ This went on for weeks and months… and Quinn loved it, every second of it._

_ During mornings, Quinn would send Rachel a good morning text and the diva would reply almost immediately._

_ Before they proceeded to their morning rituals, Rachel would text her "I love you"._

_ The first time Quinn received the text, it made her so happy that it reflected her entire day because she was suddenly nice to every Cheerio she used to yell at, every student she used to ignore and even to school janitors._

_ It took quite some time but Quinn learned to reply, "You too." And then, it became "I love you more."_

_ Sometimes, in the middle of Quinn's classes Rachel would send her a text saying "I love you when you're so focused on your lesson."_

_ Quinn would smile and look through the mini-windows of their classroom and finds Rachel outside watching her._

_ Sometimes, in one of Rachel's classes, the diva would receive a message from Quinn saying "look under your seat." And Rachel would follow only to find a note saying, "I love you when you're not concentrating on your Math." Quinn left the note the night before and placed it under that chair because she knew Rachel would always sit there.  
><em>

_ Quinn didn't know why but she felt braver when she woke up that morning._

_ She realized the night before that she and Rachel have been like that for the past few months but they never talked about it._

_ Quinn never asked Rachel what "I love you" meant. She never asked the diva why she trusted her so much. She never asked Rachel about the hugs and the hand holds._

_ The diva never asked about the "I love you, more". Rachel never asked about the notes and the sweet glances._

_ Quinn never asked herself about why she always felt weak on the knees whenever the diva approached her. She never asked why her heart would race whenever they were close and most of all, Quinn never asked herself why the face that she hated all her life was suddenly the best part of her day._

_ Quinn didn't ask, never. She knew the answer but she never counted on it until anything is confirmed. She smiled upon the thought that maybe, they had been in love long before they knew it._

_ She held her thought all day – in between classes and Glee, she acted normal around everyone else especially around Rachel – until the evening came._

_ Quinn asked Rachel to meet her in the bleachers that night because she was going to show her something. It was the perfect night, the perfect timing for Quinn._

_ While waiting for Rachel sitting on the bleachers overlooking the huge football field, Quinn began asking herself, "what if?"_

_ What if Rachel was just being friendly? What if they were just caught in the moment? What if they aren't really in love?_

_ Or what if they really are? What will they do? What if the school finds out? What will Rachel's dads say? Or what will Judy Fabray say?_

_ She wanted to cancel it but she didn't. It was two weeks before graduation, a week before Nationals and three weeks before she leaves for UCLA and Rachel for Julliard._

_ Quinn simply didn't have time. She was in the middle of blaming herself for realizing just now when Rachel arrived._

_ Rachel stood in front of Quinn and all Quinn's fears were suddenly shot off. She looked into those beautiful diva eyes and she knew she didn't need anything else. Those eyes were for her and her eyes were for that diva._

_ Quinn dragged Rachel gently towards the middle of the football field. Without saying anything, Quinn lay on the grass and started staring at the night sky. Rachel got the message and did the same._

_ It wasn't really dark in where they were. A few lamp posts were lit but not all of them. The light was rather dim but it was enough for both of them because it highlighted the calm sky._

_ The sky looked like a huge plain black paper with small white dots everywhere. The stars aligned and the sounds of the night seemed music to their ears. The silence was comfortable._

_ They stayed in silence savoring the moment until Quinn finally got the courage to speak._

_ "What are you doing with me?"_

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><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: The talk. And the promise. <strong>_


	22. Chapter 22: For the Nth Time

**Author's Note: Thank you for those sweet reviews. Thank you so much and I'm glad you like it. We're moving now with the story by revealing everything from the past. Well, I guess some might not like the flashbacks but I will not fret because I dunno, even in real life, I believe that our past is a great part of our present. LOL. That was deep. But Q and R's past are very, very colorful.**

**I hope you like this. Review please. Uhm, maybe there's another cliffy. Just maybe.**

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><p>"<em>What are you doing with me?"<em>

"_Watching the stars_?"

_"That was a very Brittany Pierce reply."_

_ "What do you mean, Quinn?"_

_ "Holding hands, sweet gestures, hugging, cuddling on movie nights… exchanging I love you's."_

_ Silence._

_ Quinn felt the diva's hand interlace with her as Rachel moved closer to her._

_ "I don't know, Quinn."_

_ "You don't?"_

_ "It comes out naturally."_

_ Silence._

_ "Quinn?"_

_ "Mmmm.."_

_ "What are you doing with me?"_

_ Quinn took a deep breath, "I'm in love with you."_

_ Silence._

_ Quinn felt Rachel clasped her hand, "I think I am, too." Rachel actually lied, she knows. She was sure about it._

_ "So what are we going to do with 'us', Rach?"_

_ "I don't know."_

_ They continued to just look at the sky when the silence was broken by Rachel's sob. Quinn turned to the diva and confirmed that she was indeed crying. "Why are you crying?" Quinn asked._

_ "A few months ago, I was so excited to leave this place. I was ready to go to New York and let my dreams come true. But now…"_

_ Tears started to threaten Quinn's eyes._

_ "Now it's all different," Rachel continued. "Glee, Nationals, Brittany, Santana… you. I only have two weeks to enjoy it all and it hurts so bad."_

_ "Maybe it's gonna be okay," Quinn said blankly. She knew Rachel's gonna argue with this._

_ "How?" Rachel asked slightly raising her voice. She stood up looking down at Quinn as she spread her arms to her sides._

_ "Quinn! I am in love with you!"_

_ It was short but it's probably the sweetest short sentence from Rachel. Quinn smiled on the inside. She always knew every time Rachel didn't speak much, she was telling the truth. She sat and stared at Rachel._

_ "All these years, we feuded! We used all the time we had trying to pull each other down. I fall in love with you in senior year and the next thing we know, you are headed for LA and I am headed for New York. In case you didn't know, Quinn – I researched it last night – that's close to 3,000 miles apart," Rachel said in a breath._

_ "All my life, Quinn I waited for someone who will give me a reason to wake up each morning and look forward to coming to school. All my life, I waited for someone who will make me feel beautiful despite my tiny height, huge nose and enormous ego. All my life, I waited Quinn. And you! Of all people, you! You happened!" Rachel's tears were now streaming down her face._

_ Hearing all of these, Quinn just stood there acting calm but she was nervous and happy and sad. Mixed emotions. And seeing Rachel there, she felt her feelings become only stronger._

_ "All my life I waited for you and now we have two or three weeks left."_

_ Quinn felt the tears she'd been holding back now streaming down. "I'll come with you and help you fulfill your dreams," Quinn said smiling pathetically. She already knew how Rachel would react to this._

_ "Quinn! That's not the point! I'm scared, okay? This is all new to me. Maybe I could've used more time to verify my feelings but no! I don't have the privilege of time. No matter how much I try to choose thinking things over, I can't. I can't give up the little we have time left. I just can't go to college without making the best of what we have left."_

_ Quinn continued to watch Rachel. Rachel then moved closer to sitting Quinn as Rachel half-knelt in front of her meeting her eyes._

_ "I love how you make me feel when I'm with you, how you stood up for me. When you were lifted up the pyramid but your eyes remained glued to me as I watched you from the bleachers. I love how you noticed every odd thing about me but never asked me to change. For goodness sake, Quinn, you never complained about my attitude."_

_ Quinn smiled at this._

_ Rachel smiled at Quinn while tears ran down her face, "I love how you made me feel as if everything was going to be alright when I lost my voice two days before Regionals."_

_ Rachel then stood once again and said, "I love how messed up you are Quinn Fabray because you always made me feel wanted, needed and longed for," Rachel paused, "but I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. It terrifies me that-"_

_ "I'm a girl?"_

_ "…that you're the most beautiful girl I know. It terrifies me that I am so happy. I need time to figure this out. I'm scared to mess this up if I jump on this right away. I just can't afford to lose you."_

_ Both of them were now in tears. Quinn didn't know how Rachel was feeling but Quinn felt deep inside that she was about to explode. Despite everything Rachel said in the latter part of her speech, she loved everything that the diva said._

_ "How about you, Quinn? Are you ready for me?" Rachel asked._

_ Quinn got up on her feet and faced Rachel, "I've always been ready for you, Rach."_

_ Quinn's heart raced at her own confession._

_ "I thought I was nothing if I wasn't head Cheerio, if I wasn't popular. I thought nobody would like me if I didn't belong to the 'in' crowd. But Rachel, you made me feel different. You made feel good about myself. You made me feel good enough to be loved. You made me feel as if it was alright to be just the ordinary Quinn Fabray who loved singing in the shower pretending she could hit all the high notes."_

_ Now, it was Rachel's turn to smile._

_ Quinn was never good at words, at least with good words. She didn't know where these are all coming from but she meant it, all of it._

_ "Rachel, I wake up every day with a reason of going on aside from my popularity. I had reason for pushing people around because I hated them for hurting you. I had reason for coming to Glee aside from following Finn. And you what that is? It is because I can't stand a day without hearing your voice or… watching you storm out," Quinn admitted smiling at the last part._

_ Again, Rachel smiled. She wouldn't admit but Quinn loved Rachel's smile when she's in tears._

_ Quinn stepped closer to Rachel and cupped her face with her hands, "Rachel, you gave me a reason to be stronger."_

_ The blonde broke the contact and looked away for a moment, "I've let go of so much in my life and it didn't make me happy."_

_ Quinn then met Rachel's eyes again, "And you stand here, just as you are and you show me just how much I could lose if I let you go."_

_ The head Cheerio's heart is flying, "Even if I didn't prepare myself, Rach, I wouldn't need to be ready for you or anything that will come. You are so much worth taking the chance with."_

_ Silence enveloped them. Rachel was still in tears while Quinn's slowly dried._

_ "Rach, you don't need to rush into this. I can wait," Quinn said smiling._

_ "But what if-"_

_ "No what ifs, Rach."_

_ "Quinn, I-"_

_ "Look. I'm good as long as I have you… as long as we stay the same. No pressure. No commitment."_

_ Rachel finally smiled despite the obvious sadness in her eyes._

_ "That's my girl," Quinn said wiping the stray tears in Rachel's cheeks._

_ "Thank you, Quinn."_

_ "No. Thank you. Just knowing that you love me makes everything else easy."_

_ "I love you, Quinn Fabray," Rachel said looking into Quinn's eyes. And Quinn finally heard it not over the phone but straight from Rachel's vulnerable being right in the middle of this football field._

_ Quinn smiled, "Do I get to kiss you now?"_

_ Rachel raised her eyebrow._

_ "Kidding," Quinn said putting her hands behind her back while making a childish expression._

_ The diva then moved to Quinn's side, gently kissing her on the check as she snaked her arm around the blonde's._

_ "I love you more, Berry," Quinn said._

_ "Are we still gonna be the same?"_

_ "Do you want to?"_

_ "Are you kidding me? Didn't you hear my speech? It is indeed, impromptu but I mean every single word. Of course, I want to stay as your unofficial girlfriend," Rachel said smilingly._

_ "Me too."_

_ "And maybe on graduation, we can figure out what to do," Rachel hopefully said._

_ "Yeah," Quinn replied as a thought came to her mind that made her laugh a bit._

_ "Why?"_

_ Quinn shook her head trying to shove the thought, "Don't be surprised if you see me inside one of your luggage when you unpack them in New York."_

_ Both of them laughed._

_ "For the nth time, Quinn Charlotte Fabray, I love you," Rachel said as they headed out of the field._

_ "For the nth time, Rachel Barbra Berry, I love you," Quinn said as she smiled content._

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel and Quinn found themselves at rehearsals that afternoon. When they saw each other, they just smiled and talked briefly when Quinn told her about a few reminders and her parts for the rehearsal.

Rachel thought Quinn looked really beautiful. _As if there was any day she didn't look that good._

Well, Quinn prepared for this. She would never admit but she always pressured herself to look beautiful around Rachel. _And that doesn't mean anything. _That was Quinn talking.

After their short talk, Rachel went to the stage and started rehearsing on her own while the other was getting ready. Quinn, on the other hand, sat on her favorite seat in the theatre – front row, third seat from the aisle._ Rachel memorized this. She always watched Quinn._

The rehearsal was just getting to the best part when a scene distracted Rachel, _secretly_.

Rachel was just waiting for her cue to enter the scene when she saw a girl sitting next to Quinn.

The girl was about the same height as her, brunette and had those expressive eyes. The girl was wearing a simple pair of jeans, a white shirt and a fit sweater. She wasn't stunning with her hair neatly let down but she looked really beautiful. Rachel thought the girl was the same age as her.

She saw Quinn and the girl talking and she observed that Quinn was having a good time. Since Quinn worked for her and accompanied her during rehearsals, this is the first time Quinn's attention wasn't on her.

_ Quinn never took her eyes off me when I'm on stage_, Rachel thought without noticing she was already the crumpling the script in her hand. _Rachel knew this feeling but she wouldn't admit._

_McKinley High, Graduation Day… Five Years ago_

_ Rachel saw Finn and Quinn hugging. She just finished saying goodbye to Mercedes and Kurt when she turned to look for 'her' Quinn and apparently saw her hugging their ex. Rachel hated the fact that they shared an ex._

_ For a moment, Rachel's once excellent breathing was halted by some sort of rush she can't define. Seeing Finn hugging Quinn, she wanted to… to go out there and own Quinn. Own 'her' Quinn._

_ Rachel sighed and walked towards the two but before she got close, Quinn broke the contact and said goodbye to Finn as the quarterback walked towards another group._

_ "I don't want to see you hugging him, again," Rachel said playing with her possessive tone._

_ Quinn smiled, "Hold it right, there. I'm not your girlfriend."_

_ Rachel was slightly taken aback because it was true but she didn't retreat knowing that Quinn was just playing around, "Well, I have your heart."_

_ Quinn blushed. Rachel smiled at the scene, "Oh, for Streisand's sake, I love it when I make you blush."_

_ "Stop it," Quinn said shyly as they stood there looking at each other._

_ They were just looking at each other but their eyes said everything their hearts felt. They were so in love with each other, madly._

_ "What did your mom say?" Rachel asked._

_ Rachel was afraid to ask her this. Okay, so last night, Quinn went to her house and told Rachel about something she had decided about._

_ Quinn knocked on their door and when she opened it, Quinn began telling her about transferring to NYU after a year. She even remembered hearing Quinn say she will support her no matter what. She also remembered Quinn saying that she just needed to save money for transferring and she can't just drop UCLA because of scholarship. And then, finally, she remembered Quinn saying Rachel can't stop her. At that, Quinn disappeared and Rachel received a text from Quinn that night saying that the blonde already told her mom about it._

_ "She said, yes," Quinn said nearly shrieking as she pulled Rachel into a hug._

_ Rachel didn't know how to react. This scared her, honestly. But at the same time, she felt really happy at the thought of Quinn coming to New York and them, sharing a life together._

_ "Quinn, are you sure?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "But..."_

_ "Why is there a sudden air of uncertainty?" Quinn said, nearing her HBIC tone._

_ Rachel didn't actually know but she's scared._

_ "Rach?"_

_ "I don't know if I'm ready."_

_ Quinn smiled. And Rachel felt a pinch in her heart; she's going to miss this smile. "Rach, one year. You have one year to be ready. You told me the other day that you're getting closer to being ready for me."_

_ "Yeah, I'm getting there."_

_ "See? You have one year. And we'll be in constant communication and maybe if we had the chance, we'll visit each other."_

_ Rachel again felt a pinch in her heart, this is gonna be hard. She loves Quinn and she doesn't know if she can take being apart from her._

_ "Quinn?"_

_ "Yes?"_

_ "I promise to love you until the day you step in the front door of my New York apartment," Rachel said as tears welled her eyes._

_ It was obvious that Quinn was touched. Rachel saw her soften a bit and yes, she was speechless._

_ "I'll be ready on that day. I'll get there."_

_ Quinn just smiled. Rachel pulled Quinn into another hug but this time, she didn't let go of her._

_ "Rach, do you really love me?"_

_ Rachel gently nodded still wrapping her hands around the cheerleader's waist, "Yes. I do."_

_ She could sense the blonde smiling._

_ "I love you, Quinn and nothing can ever change that."_

_ She felt Quinn's heart beating fast against her chest._

_ "I promise to do everything to get to you," Quinn said. Rachel can feel Quinn's tears. "You make me happy, Rachel Berry and I am willing to go far just as long as I can feel the way I feel when I'm around you. I'd risk anything."_

_ "You make me happy, Fabray."_

_ "Oh no, you didn't just call me Fabray."_

_ Remember, they were talking in low, sweet voices because they were still in each other's arms._

_ "Oh yes, I did call you Fabray, Fabray. You're in my world now. And I'm telling you, there's no way out."_

_ This and both of them closed their eyes enjoying that moment. _

_It was a beautiful story – Rachel falling for Quinn and hell, Quinn falling for Rachel, both of them promising a life together. Perhaps, nobody warned them about turning chapters and transition periods._

_Who would've thought that such a beautiful story would end in tragedy?_

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><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: The reason for all of this.<strong>_


	23. Chapter 23: Closed Doors

**Author's Note: Okay. Thank you for the lovely reviews. Haaaah. I'm sorry for this uber late update. It was hard to write this. There's too much emotions. Gahd. Warning number 1: Emotional torture. Warning number 2: A Very long chapter.**

**Thanks. And there's no cliffy anymore. LOL. Love you all. Review please. Thanks.**

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><p>The rehearsal pushed through and Quinn watched Rachel very closely. Like she always does, she took notes of the things Rachel needed to adjust for a particular scene, she always jots down director's comments and she also marks details about Rachel's performance.<p>

Quinn was very keen with details. It is one of the things she's thankful about Coach Sylvester. Being the head Cheerio, she was tasked to be quite like her – a perfectionist. This is one of the reasons she became a sought-after publicist after she graduated from UCLA. Well, LA for Quinn was just like Lima only that it was filled with stars and divas; and news about her being good at something easily spread around probably raising eyebrows.

Even if she's now far from the Quinn she used to be in high school, she still loved attention. For goodness' sake, she was not in Lima and she's with a swarm of ambitious people yet, being _the _Quinn Fabray didn't appear to be hard. Her beautiful face, her kickass attitude plus her newly discovered passion for public relations put her on top of the social pyramid in UCLA. She easily became popular because, well, every time she walked through the hallways of UCLA during her freshman year, everyone who looked at her though she was some celebrity.

She didn't come for clubs, clubs came for her. Boys and _girls _came for her asking her out on a date. And while everyone thought college was way different from high school, it wasn't any change for Quinn Fabray. Not that her popularity mattered to her way back in college but it was some kind of a relief that everybody loved her.

Everybody loved her except for the one person she wanted to love her.

_Quinn's Freshman Year in UCLA_

_ "I'm getting there."_

_ These were the words that Quinn held onto along with Rachel's promise that she will love her until she's able to come to New York. She and Santana came to UCLA but her hopes were for New York._

_ Quinn unpacked her things inside the dorm she's sharing with Santana and it didn't matter to her. She took her first college class and it didn't matter. She had a couple of friends and it didn't matter. She had Santana and it was enough. She's going to New York anyway._

_ Everything about the new phase of her life didn't matter. Rachel was all that mattered to her. Sometimes, she thought that she'd gotten too deep but every time she heard Rachel's voice on the phone, every time the diva sang to her via Skype and every time the diva told her she can't wait to see her, Quinn fell farther for Rachel._

_ Though all her eyes were set for NYU, Quinn did well in school. She was hoping that if her grades were good, she'd get a scholarship to NYU. Though her mom could and agreed to pay for it, she didn't want to burden her with extra expenses for NYU._

_ Her tuition for UCLA was rather smaller than her anticipated bills for NYU that's why she can't just move in. Judy had been great to Quinn since her father moved out and this included her mom supporting her sudden decision to move to New York._

_ They agreed, and Quinn insisted that she will save money to be able to move to New York and all that Judy had to pay was her tuition and some allowance._

_ Saving money was the hardest though, she had to buy books, eat three times a day, buy supplies for other school activities – but Quinn didn't mind._

_ If there was a new book to be bought, she would skip a meal or two just so it won't affect her budget. She targeted an amount of saved money in a week and if she didn't meet this, she would kill herself._

_ When the semester switched, she sold all her books half their price just so she can get some of the money back. She sold all her books even those she loved. And when no one was interested to buy it, Santana bought it double the price she sold it because she hated Quinn for being this obsessed with saving money._

_ Sometimes, Santana wanted to punch Quinn for skipping dinner just because she was short of budget. But Quinn was happy doing this._

_ Their entire freshman year, Santana complained about Quinn not having a life outside their dorm because she would always decline invitations unless Santana promised to pay for her drink. Santana found this funny but she sometimes did it just so Quinn could get to see the amazing party places in LA. The old Quinn would've loved it but this is the all new Quinn._

_ Santana even hated it that in a year, Quinn was only able to buy less than 15 new dresses for herself, most of them vintage and 50% off. God! Santana hated that Quinn was doing this because she was in love. She wouldn't admit it but every time she went shopping, she would get Quinn a dress or a new pair of shoes because most of the time, Quinn was still wearing the clothes she wore in high school, except for the Cheerios uniform of course. The clothes looked good on Quinn – God! Even Rachel's outfit would look good on Quinn – but Santana hated the idea that the blonde isn't thinking of herself anymore. All she could think of was going to New York and start her life there._

_ Quinn didn't even join clubs or opened herself to having many friends. She reasoned that she will be off to New York soon and she didn't want to lead people on by letting them think she's here for good._

_ Quinn's life revolved around Rachel._

o-o-o-o-o

_ Santana saw this. All of it._

_ Quinn's sacrifices unfolded in front of Santana and she hated it. She was proud of her friend being able to this for the person she loves and actually having the guts and undying passion to do so but looking at Quinn, she pitied the girl._

_ Why can't Rachel be the one doing this? Is it because Rachel had the bigger dream? And why does Quinn have to be the one who loved more? To be able to these for Rachel fucking Berry?_

_ But nonetheless, Santana stood for Quinn. Santana's life revolved around Quinn when Brittany was away. Not in a romantic way, but Santana focused on helping Quinn achieve this for herself._

_ And Santana swore to herself that if Quinn gets hurt somewhere in this story, she's gonna hate the world._

o-o-o-o-o

_Rachel loved it: New York, Julliard… everything. It was everything she pictured it to be._

_ Her apartment was beautiful as it is overlooking New York from the window, her classes were nothing short of amazing, her friends loved her for her attitude because they were very much alike and it is not every day that someone appreciated her for being so damn talented._

_ Well, it became an everyday thing in Julliard._

_ She knew she was talented but coming to Julliard, she expected people to be way better than her. But the way things unfolded for her in Julliard surprised her._

_ She was picked to represent their batch in Julliard's Christmas performance that year and that was big. She was always picked to act, to sing, to speak for the freshman batch and everybody appreciated her. Even the sophomores and the juniors – they would come to her to ask for her participation whenever they had projects or presentations._

_ Everything was going right for Rachel and she wouldn't let anyone ruin it._

_ Rachel's life revolved around herself._

_ She was happy. She had Julliard. She had friends. She was appreciated. She had Quinn._

_ Oh, yes. She had Quinn. Sometimes, she forgets that and she would come home hearing Quinn's voicemails that went like: "I assume you're busy, baby. Hope you don't get too tired. Go get some rest, superstar." Or sometimes, it would go like this: "Hey! I suppose you'd want to hear this but I passed the biggest exam ever and I didn't even study enough. Oh yes, I'm good. I love you, baby. Hope to hear from you tonight."_

_ Then she would realize she isn't able to call Quinn and then she would call Quinn but talk for a short time because she was too tired impressing the world. Quinn would tell her she doesn't mind._

_ The big blow came on Quinn's birthday. No, they didn't fight. No, they didn't have a confrontation. No, they didn't have anything at all because Rachel forgot. And almost a week passed by without Rachel remembering it._

_ Quinn had her birthday on a Tuesday. And it was a Sunday when Rachel came to the realization. She woke up that Sunday morning expecting a text from Quinn but when she checked her phone, nothing. In fact, days have passed without Quinn texting her or calling her. It's been five days without Quinn's messages and she only realized it now. When she checked her calendar, there appeared in front of her, written under a particular Tuesday: Quinn's Big Day; and on the description part wrote: Remind Her How Much You're Thankful That She Was Born._

_ Apparently, Rachel didn't see because it was topped by all other activities like: "Mike's Blow Out", "Andy's Victory Party", "Auditions for Julliard's Winter Fest" and some other activities that involved her life._

_ Oh well, she didn't expect it but when she called Quinn, she was sure the blonde was crying but won't admit. Quinn told her she was just happy to hear the diva's voice again and it was hypocrite of her but Rachel was relieved that Quinn didn't put up a fight. She was too tired to argue._

_ Rachel's life revolved around herself and her alone. It was a conversation with one of her friends that Rachel realized that a distraction could ruin this for her. She talked to Michelle, one of Julliard's most promising freshmen but not as promising as Rachel. Michele just broke up with her high school sweetheart and it broke the girl up. She can't focus on her classes, on her singing or acting. She was totally lost and hurt. Everything was falling apart for Michelle and Rachel feared to be in that position._

o-o-o-o-o

_ Santana hated goodbyes but she was happy that Quinn finally got all her savings complete and now, she's taking Quinn to LAX because she's flying to New York. She smirked upon the realization that Quinn had everything planned._

_ See? She didn't even have a tough time saying goodbye because she didn't have many friends. There was only Josh, Laura and Abbey from one of her classes and then Santana. She didn't have many clothes to pack because she really didn't have that much clothes aside from the clothes she brought from Lima a year ago and few added ones._

_ She was happy for Quinn finally getting the chance to be happy. She saw Quinn suffer all year for this and the blonde deserved it. She knew Quinn is taking a big leap of a risk for this._

_Santana was happy for her bestfriend but she had quite a bad feeling about this. And years of experience taught her that when she feels like this, something she wouldn't like is bound to happen._

_ Before Quinn boarded the plane, Santana hugged her really tight. She decided not to cry but she's about to. She loved her bestfriend. Quinn knows that._

_ "Q. I dunno how it turns out with the hobbit but I'm keeping your bed in the dorm," Santana said sighing. She felt the blonde smile. "Don'ts speak. Just know that no matter how it turns out, someone's willing to take you back. Love you, Q. More than anyone else could. And I mean, anyone."_

o-o-o-o-o

_ There she was. In New York._

_ Quinn arrived in New York City with her bags in one hand and her heart on the other._

_ "Surprise!" Quinn greeted as the door of Rachel's apartment opened._

_ There stood a very at-home Rachel Berry. Her sleepy eyes opened wide at the sight of the blonde. Quinn saw Rachel's mouth hang open._

_ Without further ado, Quinn dropped her bags and pulled Rachel into a deep, tight hug._

_ She wished for this for a long time already. There were times she missed the diva so bad and had no choice but to hug the pillows on her bed. She hugged her tight, committing her life to her._

_ She hugged her there and the rest of her life didn't matter. All she could think about is her new life and the person she's hugging. She didn't know but standing there hugging Rachel felt so right._

_ It was only when Rachel pulled apart that Quinn realized that the diva didn't hug her back._

_ "Quinn… You're…" Rachel said, her face still painted surprise._

_ "Here. I'm here Rach," Quinn said smiling hopefully._

_ Seconds passed and they just stood there. Rachel was just staring at her in surprise. Quinn's once racing heart slowed down a bit but the horror on Rachel's face made it beat faster but on a different note. Something was up with Rachel._

_ "I know it's all so sudden but I wanted to surprise you," Quinn said; the excitement in her voice slowly fading away._

_ She just saw Rachel sigh. A sigh that Quinn didn't knew the meaning but it was either disgust or tension._

_ "Quinn… I –" Rachel's voice was interrupted by a call from inside her apartment._

_ "Rachel!" a firm and proper man, dressed very formally appeared behind Rachel. The man wrapped his arms around Rachel from behind and kissed Rachel on the cheek._

_ If a microphone was placed near Quinn's heart, everyone would hear it slowly clacking and breaking._

_ "I see you've got a beautiful company," the man said as he pulled away from Rachel. He then stood in front of Quinn to introduce himself, "Hi. I'm Tyler Fitzgerald. I'm not Rachel's boyfriend. But we made out."_

_ The guy turned to Rachel, "Bye Rach. See you at school tomorrow."_

_ At that, the guy disappeared off the hallway to the elevator._

_ Both of them stood right there, Quinn looking at Rachel and Rachel looking down._

_ Quinn was half relieved that the guy wasn't her boyfriend but it didn't help figuring out that while she was away, there was a possibility that the love of her life was making out with someone else._

_ "Quinn… I.." Rachel tried to speak._

_ There was something inside Quinn that had changed. Rachel isn't even inviting her inside. Quinn took a deep breath and can't help to put up her HBIC tone, "I believe you have some explaining to do."_

_ Silence._

_ Quinn stood there still in front of Rachel's door she's still outside and Rachel was in front of her._

_ "No, Quinn. I don't have anything to explain," Rachel said in a complete sentence for the first time that night._

_ The next thing Quinn knew they were inside Rachel's apartment. They were in the living room. Rachel was sitting and Quinn was furiously pacing._

_ "Rehearsing? Rachel, seriously!"_

_ "Quinn, believe me. We weren't doing anything and just like what I told you, I don't have to explain anything to you. We, Quinn, are not in a relationship!"_

_ This and Quinn's tears broke down. She hopelessly sat down the recliner and cried. She'd been hurt too many times before but this one is different. Of all the pain she felt in the past, this one cut the deepest._

_ It's the kind of pain that starts with a tiny pinch in your heart. Slowly, the poke deepens. Rachel's words made it feel as if an entire fist was banging against her heart and Quinn can hardly breathe. Rachel's words were too big to fit inside Quinn's heart which she opened gladly for the diva._

_ "Quinn, I'm sorry," Rachel said._

_ Quinn can't absorb it. She can't even look at Rachel. She doesn't understand but she knows what Rachel was about to say next._

_ "Quinn, it's been a year. A lot has changed."_

_ No! Quinn protested in her mind. Nothing about her feelings has changed. She still loves Rachel more than anything in the world. For goodness sake, she spent the entire year saving up so she can get to Rachel. She spent one fucking year of her life waiting to be with her. And now, she's saying that a lot has changed?_

_ "Maybe we were just… caught in the moment-" _

_ "Seriously, Rachel!" Quinn stood furiously yelling at Rachel. Quinn's voice is trembling. Her whole body is shaking and she felt that if the wind would hit her, she would fade into ashes forever. She felt that vulnerable that time._

_ "Quinn! Everything is going right for me!" Rachel said as she started to pace. Quinn looked at her very intently. "All of my dreams are starting to come true. And Quinn, I can't let anyone ruin it."_

_ This stopped Quinn from retorting. Does Rachel really think that she's gonna ruin everything?_

_ "Quinn. I don't know how people will accept if they knew you and I… We're both girls and…"_

_ Quinn sighed at the realization. Her tears are breaking even more rapidly now._

_ "I just… Waited for this all my life and I can't waste this opportunity. This is my life now."_

_ Rachel's words felt like a bullet straight into Quinn's heart. Quinn is sobbing now. Her hands were shaking. She held on to her knees as she sat back to the sofa hopelessly. Like a puppy asking her owner for attention, Quinn asked in a shaky voice, "What about… me?_

_ She didn't see Rachel but she was sure that the brunette was slightly taken aback by the question._

_ "You," Rachel said obviously trying to make it sound easy. "You're Quinn Fabray before you had me. You don't need me Quinn."_

_ "I do," Quinn said silently giving up. She stared at floor, fists clenched at the attempt to stay alive despite the pain, tears falling rapidly. She needed Rachel so much, she's all she needed in her life._

_ She can tell Rachel was crying already, "Quinn… You can still achieve great things. You can… go back and…-"_

_ "But… I went all the way here… for you."_

_ "Quinn Fabray you are so stubborn!" Rachel yelled impatiently._

_ Quinn closed her eyes. Her tears kept falling, her fists still clenched while holding on to the bottom of her dress. She shook her head, no. No. This is Rachel. She will never hurt me. She promised me something. This is not my mom or dad who always broke their promises. This is Rachel. When I open my eyes, I will be glad that this is just a dream and I will be in front of Rachel in a couple of minutes and everything will be okay._

_ Quinn fooled herself at the thought._

_ She opened her eyes yet, she was still there. And Rachel is still… different._

_ Silence._

_ "Quinn. I'm sorry. I can't do this."_

_ At first, it didn't occur to Quinn that she'd ever hear these. She was so sure of Rachel or maybe she thought Rachel was really sure of her._

_ But at that moment, Rachel's words were too big to fit inside Quinn's whole being. The words were like parasites that forces itself to you. It makes its way to every part of your body, slowly taking the life out of you. And once inside, it will grow and explode inside you and it blows you up to pieces._

_ Again, Quinn Fabray's heart is broken just before it even became whole._

_ Quinn stood not looking at Rachel. She felt sick. She wanted to throw up. She wanted to just fade. It's too much too take. Her eyes lurked around the apartment; she searched for her bags and found it. Finding her luggage cut even more deep realizing that they were resting just beside the door._

_ Rachel planned this. Rachel have prepared for this day. She didn't even want her to stay the night._

_ "Why Rachel?"_

_ "Why what?"_

_ "Why did you have to lead me on?"_

_ She heard a sigh and not an answer from Rachel._

_ If there was one thing she learned from Santana, it is the power of confronting someone and looking into their eyes. Santana was good at this especially when Quinn was her victim. She needed to look Rachel in the eyes. She needed to know the truth._

_ She turned to Rachel and immediately looked her in the eyes. This hurt so bad but Quinn had to do this._

_ "Tell me right now Rachel. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me."_

_ Rachel looked away. Tears started to fall, again, from the diva's eyes._

_ Silence. Quinn looked at Rachel and Rachel looked outside the window. They were standing face to face but Quinn felt as if Rachel was too far from her._

_ "Rachel, I love you. I need you," Quinn said straight at Rachel. "I don't need anything in my life but you. Rach, I am not going to ruin your new," Quinn said. Rachel listened. "All I want Rachel, is to be part of it."_

_ She heard a sigh from Rachel before the diva turned to meet her eyes. It was coming. Quinn knew it. She wanted to run. She wanted jump off the window and die. But her feet stood still. There was a little spark of hope that maybe, she was wrong about this._

_ "I don't love you, Quinn," Rachel said, looking straight into Quinn's eyes._

_ Suddenly, Quinn's life was over._

_ "_And please don't make me choose_," Rachel said again still looking into Quinn's eyes._

_ Quinn's tears stopped falling in an instant. There was nothing inside her but pain and love, love for Rachel._

_ "Oh," this was all Quinn managed to say. All her courage wasn't enough to even utter a full sentence._

_ "I'm sorry Quinn," Rachel said, again, for the nth time._

_ Quinn turned and walked toward the door. Her tears started to fall once again. She was sobbing all over again. For goodness sake it hurt so much. She felt wasted, unappreciated, unloved._

_ She stopped at one point, "Rachel." Quinn took a deep breath, "Please. Stop me from leaving. Tell me that you love me. Tell me you got there. Please," Quinn begged swallowing all the pride she has left. After all the things the diva said earlier, she still wanted her. And if the diva will stop her at that time, she would still come running to her like a lost puppy. She loved Rachel. She still loves Rachel, so much._

_ "I never got there, Quinn. Never."_

_ This was the final slam on Quinn's heart. It was slammed so hard that it broke open and shattered it to pieces._

_ Quinn didn't know what to do. Her knees trembled but she had to go. She's being kicked out again._

_ She grabbed her bags and half-run, half-walked out the door. She was just about to turn around and run to Rachel to hug her for the last time but she saw the door close behind her._

_ Closed doors. This is what she meant by it. Closed. Over. Done._

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: Now, we're moving forward because someone is bery.. very jealous.<strong>_


	24. Chapter 24: Was it worth it?

**Author's Note: OMG. Thank you for all those wonderful reviews. It was a hard chapter to write and very emotional one. Thank you for thinking that this is a good story. Oh, God, I don't think I can thank you enough. Y'all have inspired me. And I hope you guys would keep reading. LOL. Sorry for making you hate Rachel. It's just that, that's how I see Rachel Berry. She had huge dreams and she'd do anything to make it come true; but she'll learn a lesson. *winks***

**For those who are pissed with the flashbacks, uhm, I dunno, this is how the story goes and this story somehow revolves around that past. We can't move on without it. But I think, we've had the last of flashbacks. Maybe.  
><strong>

**And lastly, this is still very Faberry so far. I can't tell you if this is eventual Faberry or not because that's like spoiling the whole thing right? But JSYK, I do like happy endings. But happy endings depend on how you see it. *winks***

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><p>"Believe me, Brits. Q was a fucking pain in the ass when she gots sick," Santana said after sipping from her coffee.<p>

She and Brittany met for a snack that afternoon and the blonde insisted because she wanted to hear about how Quinn recovered.

"Language, S," Brittany said as she sliced her piece of blueberry cheesecake.

"Wow, B. Didn't you just tell me to watch my language?" Santana said as she shook her head. "Is that what the midget did to ya?" she finished.

"Not the topic, S. Continue," Brittany commanded.

"There's nothing in there Brits. Simple," Santana said as she shrugged before she continued, "I made Q realize that she didn't deserve the hell she was in, at least not for the dwarf."

"I don't get it, S."

"B, there's a point in Q's life that she just gots tired of feeling sorry for herself, for crying every other night for her entire fucking sophomore year. Remember, Q is still Q. She came to her senses eventually."

"Did she become a bitch once again? Because we know Q. When she's hurt, she hurts everybody else."

Santana stopped to think then spoke, "That's surprising. But no, B. Q became better. Told me she knew how it was to be hurt and didn't wants anyone to feel the same shit. And Q hated being the all pathetic Lucy Caboosey. She's grown up, B."

"I'm happy for Q. When I heard about what happened to her, I really wanted to cry. But I'm not blaming Ray," Brittany said as she gazed somewhere.

"Oh, I do," Santana said snapping.

"Sany, be nice."

"But, ugh, Brits. You don't blame me, don't you? We've been with Q since we were 10. We've seen her get pregnant at the fuckin' age of 16 and give up her baby. We've seen Q go through so much and after everything she did for the hobbit, the last thing Q deserved was to be kicked out. She fuckin' loved her, B," Santana's anger is slowly rising. She can't help it.

"Whoa, calm down San. I know you care for Q. But I can't blame Rachel either. We don't have to blame anyone. It's their choices. Rachel just made a choice. Does that make her a bad person?"

"She chose to break our bestfriend's heart, B. I can't believe this is even a discussion."

"I get your point, San. But I also saw Rachel suffer. It's not like it's all easy for Ray to just kick Quinn out. Q was the only one she had."

"Now that's her choice. She chose to be miserable."

"San, she was scared."

"And Quinn wasn't?"

Silence. They both knew the conversation was not going anywhere.

Santana sighed, "Sorry, B."

"Sorry, too S. I feel bad for the both of them. But they can be happy friends now right? Like, they can totes start all over again. Like in movies."

Santana rolled her eyes, she doesn't agree but maybe Brittany has a point, "Yeah. Probably."

o-o-o-o-o

It was the first full break of that afternoon's rehearsal. Goodness! Rachel was damn tired. She sat by the edge of the stage to rest and she saw Quinn _abandon _her new friend to approach her.

Quinn handed Rachel a bottle of vitamin water. Rachel gratefully took it and had a sip. She noticed Quinn's sense of smile as the blonde moved around her to get her a hand towel and a new shirt.

When Quinn stopped and sat beside Rachel, Quinn said, "Here, Ms. Berry. Please, you know what to do." Quinn smiled as the blonde handed her the stuff. Quinn wanted her to get changed.

_Quinn's treating me like a baby. Oh, angels. I kind of like it. _Rachel tried to push that thought away and said, "I see you've got yourself a new friend," Rachel said glancing at the person she was talking about. The brunette was now looking at something in Quinn's iPad. She's quite not sure but she tried to hide a certain sound of… concern. _Yes, thank you. Concern is the word. _Again, that was Rachel.

"Oh, Phoebe," Quinn smiled then continued, "She's a friend from LA. She's the producer's daughter," Quinn said _smiling _a bit more. She saw Rachel slightly composed herself, the kind of composure that said that Rachel Berry is up for some competition. She didn't know but Rachel's acting strange.

_Phoebe Bennett. That's probably it, right? Peter Bennett is the producer of the show. Rachel Berry still sounds better. Okay, Rachel, what are you thinking?_

"By the way, Ms. Berry, you did quite well but you missed on some parts of the script. Good adlibs. You seem kind of disturbed, though," Quinn said as she browsed through her copy of the show's script. Quinn thought Rachel being disturbed wasn't that obvious to anyone but hey, she isn't just anyone. She knew Rachel.

"Really?" _Oh, you're dead Rachel. You must've forgotten how well Quinn knows you._ "I'm sort of not feeling well," Rachel lied.

Quinn looked at Rachel as if examining her. Rachel could feel her whole body tense at the Quinn's stare.

"You look fine," Quinn said shrugging.

"I am. I'm just having this minor headache. You do not have to worry about me, Quinn."

Quinn half-laughed, "I'm not worrying."

Rachel looked immediately at Quinn because of what the blonde said. _She doesn't worry about me having this "headache"? When we were… Just a minor headache almost caused her to skip class because she wanted to make sure I was okay. And now…_

"I know when you're really not okay," Quinn said not looking at Rachel.

"I see," Rachel said realizing she can't lie to Quinn. It's Quinn for goodness' sake.

Silence.

Rachel just looked at Quinn who was re-reading her copy of the show's script. Quinn wore a baby blue dress that hung and ended before it got to her knees. Quinn's hair is neatly let down, a clip keeping her bangs from covering her face.

_For the love our Nationals championship in senior year, Quinn looks as if not five or in our case, four years passed. She still looks damn amazing. Brit's right. It's gotta be illegal to be this beautiful._

Rachel then noticed Quinn's goose bumps. She realized it was rather cold inside the theatre and again, _for the love of Barbra Streisand_, Quinn's shoulders are ever as bare and it exposed some of her upper back.

"Are you cold?" Rachel asked Quinn.

Quinn just looked at Rachel and shook her head. Rachel swallowed, a little embarrassed. Actually, Rachel felt a little stupid. Why did she even ask? Quinn was cold. It was obvious. Sighing, Rachel took off the red cardigan she was wearing.

"Quinn, I know when you're really not feeling cold. And," Rachel smiled as she slid the cardigan across Quinn's back and hung it on her shoulders, "you feel a lot cold right now. It's cold in here."

Quinn just smiled at Rachel.

Rachel didn't know but she felt warm. Quinn's smile was so… genuine. It was so sincere. That smile… oh, how she missed it.

"Thank you, Ms. Berry. I must've misplaced my jacket somewhere," Quinn said smilingly. Rachel saw the blonde blush slightly.

"Quinn, may I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Please, call me Rachel," Rachel said with all the courage a Berry could have. She knew _Ms. Berry _was just a nicer manifestation of _Berry, Man Hands, RuPaul, Midget_. But this, she needed this. She needed Quinn to be comfortable around her.

Much to her _secret _disgust, Phoebe approached them before Quinn could answer.

"Hey, Q. Your phone's been ringing. It's from a Santana," the brunette said. Rachel then realized she and Phoebe looked like a lot.

_SHE CALLS HER "Q"? Q?_

"Hi, Ms. Rachel Berry. I'm a fan," Phoebe greeted her nicely.

She can't help but reply with an arrogant smirk. Phoebe annoys her – no, not Phoebe; just her closeness with her publicist. When she realized the rude reply she gave, she shook her head and pushed aside the thoughts she had in her mind of: _telling Phoebe to back off and not talk to Quinn again. _Yeah, she pushed that aside.

"Hi! Sorry about my unfriendliness. It's been tiring. You know, to be star and everyone thinks you can pull off a great show? It gets very tiring," Rachel said smiling. Nope, maybe it was a _smug reaction _that she had on her face.

It's not very clear to her but at that time – in front of Quinn – she wanted to feel like the best person inside the building. She didn't want anyone who was more superior than her.

"Ms. Berry," Quinn interrupted the two girls. _It seemed to her like a tension was building just based on how Rachel talked._

Rachel turned to Quinn as if she owned her, "Yes, Quinn?"

"Are you gonna be okay re-reading through the script before you get back in there?"

"Yes, Quinn. Thank you. You are a very good assistant. _I _am so lucky to have you as _my _personal assistant," Rachel said, emphasizing on the word "my". She wanted Phoebe to hear that _Quinn was hers. _

Is she owning Quinn? She wouldn't notice. She was too busy taking Phoebe down.

Quinn drew a slight confusion on her face.

Rachel then turned to Phoebe and said, "You know, Phoebe. Quinn is very dedicated to _me _as her boss."

Phoebe nodded with a slight confused look on her face.

"I'm gonna call Santana first then I'll get back on you, Ms. Berry. So, we can rehearse," Quinn said shaking her head. Rachel was acting really weird.

Quinn walked back to her seat as Phoebe followed her. Before they reached where they sat earlier, Rachel saw them share a laugh that looked really adorable on Quinn. This added fuel to the fire that had been burning inside her since she saw Quinn and Phoebe having a good time earlier at the rehearsal.

Rachel sighed and forced herself to calm down. She went through her things and checked her phone. She was slightly relieved to see that someone cared to text her. It was Brittany.

_** Dinner 2nyt. See ya, R. Time to rebuild the fearsome four.**_

The last two words instantly reminded her of their senior year. Brittany "The Hot Blonde Dancer" Pierce + Santana "The Fiery Latina Bitch" Lopez + Rachel "The Diva" Berry + Quinn "Head Bitch In Charge" Fabray = the Fearsome Four. Rachel smiled upon the memories that came to her. She remembered Jacob Ben Israel giving these nicknames to them in one of his many Fearsome Four-related blogs.

She looked up to Quinn and caught the blonde looking at her. She was just finished talking to Santana and Quinn gave her a knowing look as if asking her if she would come to dinner.

Rachel smiled. It is the first time in the last five years that she smiled at the thought of a dinner with friends. She nodded at Quinn and at that instant she saw Quinn's face drew relief and happiness. Quinn smiled at her and nodded as well.

Quinn turned and sat smilingly. She knew Quinn was happy that she didn't fret about dinner. Though she was a little annoyed with the person beside her, she stood there looking at Quinn, the person that once made her very happy.

She stared at Quinn for a couple more seconds when her phone buzzed.

_**I think sumthing's wrong wif ur eyes, Ray.**_

Rachel replied, _**I don't know what you're talking about.**_

_** Bcuz u can't take them off Q.**_

Rachel smiled at Brittany's pick up line. She looked up and saw Quinn looking at her. She smiled at the thought that it is now the second time that she looked at Quinn and saw the blonde looking at her.

She used to love this about Quinn in senior year. At Glee, or sometimes in their classes, she would always look at Quinn but she adored it so much when she catches Quinn looking back at her with those smiling eyes.

o-o-o-o-o

Rehearsal pushed through and Rachel was still distracted by Quinn and Phoebe's _closeness_. They were laughing their selves off with their _Angry Birds _app. She didn't want to watch them anymore but Quinn's obvious happiness distracted her. It's the first time she saw Quinn like that since the blonde started working for her.

"Stay away from my man!" Rachel delivered her lines addressing it to her co-star with all the conviction she had in her. It was so loud and strong and emotional that she saw the other actress slightly shocked as well as the director. She saw Quinn look at her for a while and then turned to Phoebe again.

Still part of her script, Rachel chuckled bitterly, "Oh, you do not know when to back off, don't you?"

At that moment, Rachel imagined Phoebe as her co-star.

"He is mine!" Rachel yelled. She's starting to get a tight grasp on the character. "You can have fun with him, talk to him, sing with him… but he will never be yours, because he _loves _me!" Rachel was already feeling this.

"You do not own him!" the other actress retorted. "You let him go because of your stupid dreams! So stop living in a fantasy that he is still yours. He needs a woman that will choose him."

The other actress turned to the audience's direction, "Someone who he can come home to every night. Someone who will always choose him over the spotlight and apparently, that is not you!"

Rachel took a deep breath. Because of the recent development in her life, she forgot that the story of the show she was in was about Lilibeth, a small town girl who had huge dreams; dreams so huge she didn't have time for love.

The other actress continued, "He doesn't need a woman who will push him away when all he wanted was to be taken in. Lilibeth," the actress turned to Rachel, "he was perfect for you. He could've done everything to be with you. He would jump into bullets for you. But you didn't have the courage to love him back."

Rachel sighed. She almost forgot her lines but she managed, "I needed to follow my destiny. I do not regret it."

The other actress smiled and shook her head, "Does it make you happy?"

Rachel gasped.

"Does it make you happy that you are here with all your dreams fulfilled and yet you sit and watch the only person you loved in your life happy with someone else?"

The lines were starting to get into Rachel. She looked at Quinn – making it seem like a part of the script – and saw her sharing a laugh with Phoebe at what seemed to her as a video they were watching on Quinn's iPad.

"Do you not regret it?"

Rachel gasped again as the co-actress continued.

"Do you not regret having that one chance at happiness and you let it go because you wanted more. You wanted more when in fact, you had it all!"

Rachel's tears started falling. Good thing, she was supposed to cry at this perfect moment.

"Have you found it, Lilibeth?"

Rachel is close to another breakdown. These words felt as if they were written for Rachel Berry and not Lilibeth.

"Have you found that one reason that made you leave? Are you happier?" the other actress turned to Rachel and looked at her straight in the eyes. "Come on! Tell me right now. Was it worth it?"

Rachel's entire body froze. She saw Quinn look at her as if expecting for an answer. This was supposed to be a scene in Broadway show but why did it seem to Rachel as if it was happening in real life.

"Was it worth it?"

_Was it?_

"And, cut!" the director shouted and at that everyone who was watching the scene clapped their hands – even Quinn and _ugh _Phoebe.

"You did great, Rachel," Pia, her co-actress, said.

"That was brilliant, Pia. But you, Rachel, you are incredible. How come your tears fall at the perfect moment?" Steven, the director said as he approached Rachel and gave her a squeeze. Pia and Steven walked toward the backstage after giving her the compliment as Rachel turned to Quinn.

Again, she caught the blonde's eyes as Quinn nodded in approval. She knew she did extraordinarily well this time but looking at Quinn, she began asking herself, _was it worth it?_

_ "If you were asked with the same question, Rachel, was it worth it?" Rachel asked herself._

She looked around the theatre. She looked at people – some are the show's staff, some are co-actors all looking at her in admiration – which are now part of her life. She looked at herself in the mirror when she was doing her makeup.

_She asked herself again, "Are all of this worth losing Quinn? Are they?"_

But before her realizations came to haunt her, she composed herself.

_Obviously, Quinn's moved on. She had the guts to face me once again and this just showed that all the things that happened in the past are in the past. No, I am not in love with Quinn anymore._

_ But why am I pissed about this Phoebe? Maybe I should use my power as this show's lead star and demand that no outsiders should be allowed in rehearsals .But she's the producer's daughter._

_ What am I even thinking?_

_ Do I want Quinn's attention that much?_

_ No, Rachel Berry, stop. This is not you. This is the show that will get you nominated for a Tony. Focus._

_ But what if?_

Rachel smiled in the middle of all her thinking.

What if it was all okay and Quinn was still her _girlfriend. _She would see Quinn in each of her every show. Quinn will bring her flowers and kiss her good luck. And when she's too tired from rehearsals, she would come home to Quinn and her _girlfriend _will cook the most amazing dinner ever; and then, everything will be alright.

When a show's gone bad, she would come home to Quinn and Quinn will tell her that she still did amazing and that the blonde still believes in her.

What if? What if she took that chance with Quinn? What if she took that chance _for _Quinn?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Now this chapter is one way of recovering from the previous chapter's torture. And thank you all for loving Santana and how she stood for our Q. That's the reason why I said before that I am with Santana in this. R was plain cruel. Sorry if I talk a lot, but I was inspired by "Had It All" by Katharine McPhee while I was writing the rehearsal part.<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Fearsome Four dinner, a drunk Rachel and a very sweet Quinn.**_


	25. Chapter 25: Back To December

**Author's Note: Wow! I really didn't expect that many will love the previous chapter. But I thank you all for the love. OMG. I'm so overwhelmed. Thank you. Again, I can't thank you all enough for the appreciation you gave this fic. THANK YOU soo freaking much.**

**So here's another chapter, and maybe, another wild berry night. Since we saw all the past and what it did to Quinn, maybe, Rachel could explain herself in a way. Although, most of us (including me) thinks that there's no proper explanation to what she did, maybe she had her reasons. Let's give her a chance. It's still your call who to side, though. LOL. And sorry for this looong chapter.**

* * *

><p>While constantly trying to push all her thoughts, Rachel kept her composure around Quinn.<p>

She had mixed emotions at that time. First, she was sitting beside Quinn inside a very silent cab. Second, she can't deny the rush she felt when she saw Quinn and Phoebe saying their goodbye's back at the theatre as if they're never seeing each other again.

They're on their way to the restaurant that Santana picked personally and another emotion that added to her already-messed up emotional system was fear. She doesn't know how to face Santana after it all but she had to.

If there was one thing she learned recently, it was to always be ready for anything. She was contemplating about what to say to Santana when Quinn spoke.

"Just be yourself, Rachel," Quinn said not looking at Rachel.

_She called me Rachel. I want to cry. Never have anyone called my name and felt this special._

"Brittany will be there, so maybe Santana will be cool about it," Quinn said again.

"I hope so. I missed our friendship," Rachel said before she realized she said it.

Quinn smiled, "Me too."

"Quinn, mind if I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Can I have a drink tonight?"

Quinn turned to Rachel and saw that pout in the diva's face. Quinn smiled.

"What?" Rachel asked in anticipation.

"You know what, Rachel. It's still weird to know that you are now the very alcoholic Rachel Berry," Quinn said smilingly as she shook her head.

Rachel smiled, "People change."

"I would certainly know that."

Then there's silence; an awkward one.

"So about your question…" Quinn said looking at Rachel who was making adorable faces.

"Maybe water will do. That's also a drink, right?" Quinn chuckled.

"Quinn!"

"Hmmmm."

It was hard for both of them to act like everything was okay. Quinn wasn't ready to address the situation yet. Her past memories of Rachel taught her a lesson that when you're ready for a leap, it doesn't mean everyone else is ready for that leap, too.

She hoped that maybe _acting fine, acting okay _will do the trick.

Rachel, on the other hand, was contented for now. At least, Quinn talked to her like old times and didn't avoid any contact with her.

"Quinn! Five drinks."

"Five? Wow!"

"Okay, let me have four."

"Three."

"Four."

"Don't let me make it one."

Rachel sighed and smiled, "Okay, three…"

Quinn smiled.

"Plus one?"

"Rachel!"

Rachel laughed, "Okay. Sorry."

They sat in comfortable silence until they reached the restaurant. They arrived at the Boathouse Restaurant in Central Park. They learned that Santana already reserved a table somewhere in the lakeside.

Quinn led the way to their table and soon as they stood at the entrance to the outside docks, Rachel saw Santana and Brittany already seated. Brittany waved at them and they eventually approached the table.

It was perfect. The docks overlooked the lake and the boats that roamed the lake fascinated Rachel. It was a pretty romantic scene and she wondered at the back of her mind why Santana chose this instead of a bar or anything of the likes.

"I asked San to take me to her favorite place here in New York," Brittany said talking to no one in particular.

Quinn sat beside Santana and she motioned Rachel to take the seat between her and Brittany as well.

"Wow. I must say, Santana, you have a very good taste," Rachel said, trying very hard not to sound awkward.

Santana ignored her, "Tell me again, Brit, why we needed the midget here."

Quinn gave Santana a look.

"What? Am I the bad guy again?" Santana asked Quinn.

This time, Brittany interjected to ease the growing tension.

"Because we're planning for the wedding," Brittany said excitedly.

Rachel clapped, "Finally."

Santana rolled her eyes and gave Quinn a look who also returned a look. They are the only ones who understood about their looks but it made each other calm down, especially Santana. Seeing Quinn approach them earlier, she already knew that Quinn was trying so hard for the sake of granting Brittany's request. This dinner was Brittany's idea.

And Santana thought, that if this was hard for her, it was harder for Quinn. So, she just decided to be all tough like the usual Santana ways but she reminded herself every now and then that she had to keep things civil with Rachel.

Besides, Rachel seemed trying, too.

After their orders came, they started eating. Santana stayed silent and gave short comments about the topic they were talking about but these comments were just composed of very short sentences. She'd rather stay silent than not be able to control herself and say something mean. It would ruin the night. Maybe she was furious but at least she had the decency to respect the beautiful night with her girlfriend and her best friend… and well, some random girl.

Rachel and Brittany were already talking about the flowers to use in the wedding. They seem all excited about it, especially Rachel.

"Roses! Classy and…"

"Boring," Santana commented on Rachel's suggestion.

Like the very eager Rachel Berry, Rachel turned to Santana and started explaining, "But Santana, if you use light-colored garden and spray roses and finish it with a sparkling brooch, it will be perfect."

Quinn watched as Rachel's eyes sparkled at the thought of the flower.

Santana shook her head and Rachel frowned.

"Hmmm... I'm thinking of a combination of blossoms and snapdragons," Brittany said out of the blue. She was looking somewhere else as if thinking very deeply.

Santana nodded in approval, "Didn't expect it, but better that RuPaul's idea."

Brittany gave Santana THAT look and Santana knew she had to stop or else she'll upset Brittany.

Santana sighed, "Okay, Berry. Roses are cool but I hate to be traditional. You only get married once. Of course I will only get married once. And I will hate if my wedding will look like your wedding."

Rachel smiled, "It's still cool."

"How about white gardenias?" Quinn said.

"Oh, hi Q! You're here. I almost thought Quinn Fabray passed away," Santana said sarcastically pin pointing Quinn's almost-complete silence while they were eating.

"I like gardenias. They make me cry," Brittany said totally getting the attention of the other three in the table. They looked puzzled at Brittany's statement.

"I don't know, gardenias look very, very promising," Brittany said randomly as she began pouring a shot of vodka for the four of them.

"Well, if you want to cry a lot at our wedding, then gardenias it is," Santana said drinking her shot.

"We're supposed to cry, right Q? Because I think if there wouldn't be gardenias, San and I will just laugh because we hate being all too formal. So, if we put gardenias, then I will cry and it will look like an actual wedding," Brittany rambled.

The other three just looked and found Brittany adorable with all her explanations. Santana didn't really mind about the details. She just wanted to get married. She let Brittany _and Rachel _plan about the obvious details.

"By the way, Q," Santana interrupted before the topic came to how many layers the cake will have, "you're the maid of honor."

Quinn nodded in approval, "You didn't have to tell me. I was already planning your bridal shower at the back of my mind."

"And Rachel will sing at the wedding," Brittany declared as Rachel proudly nodded.

This made Santana huff. She rolled her eyes, "Oh my God."

"I will be very honored to sing at your wedding Brittany and Santana. I have never sung in a wedding before but I will do my best to make it really special," Rachel said.

"Any song ideas?" Quinn asked.

Santana laughed, "I'd go for 'My Cup'."

Brittany and Quinn laughed as Rachel looked confused.

"As much as I appreciate B's effort for the song, I don't think it's a very appropriate song for such intimate occasion," Rachel disagreed.

"Rach, it was a joke. Loosen up," Quinn said obviously already little smashed with just a shot.

"You are such a lightweight, Fabray," Santana said as she took Quinn's second shot and drank it for her.

Rachel looked at Quinn and nodded, "Quinn was never the drinking type. I always liked that about her."

Santana raised an eyebrow at Rachel's almost-comfortable comment about Quinn. Rachel didn't seem to notice. She was already hit by her second shot of Bacardi 151 which was 75% alcohol.

This made Santana serve Quinn another shot and with reasons unknown, Quinn swallowed it fast and hard.

Hours have passed and they were already talking about high school and college and all random stuff. It was nearly 11 in the evening when Brittany invited Quinn for a boat ride.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to leave S and Rachel there?" Quinn asked as the boat started to drift across the lake.

"Yes, Q. Of course, it's very much safe. Santana's harmless tonight or else I won't be her date at their university night," Brittany said as she laid her hand in the water, gently playing with it.

After a few seconds of silence, Brittany looked at Quinn who was just staring at the dark part of the lake.

"How you've been Q?" Brittany asked innocently.

"I'm fine. I've been really, really fine," Quinn said avoiding eye contact with Brittany.

"No you're not," Brittany said in her usual tone. Here she is again saying things as if she said it everyday.

"Why'd you ask if you know?" Quinn said a little annoyed. This is the drunk Quinn, the angry drunk. Well, she's not all flushed drunk like Rachel as of the moment but she's quite under the influence.

"I was hoping you'd be honest with me," Brittany answered.

"B, I have learned a lot about being honest with my feelings. The last time I did it…" Quinn sighed.

"Why'd you come back, Q?

Quinn looked at Brittany confused.

"I mean, you can be a publicist of any star in LA. But why'd you have to go here in New York and be Rachel's publicist?" Brittany said expecting for an answer.

"I had to, you know."

"Do you really like torturing yourself like that?"

"Do you know the feeling of wanting to move on but can't?" Quinn said as she leaned her head on Brittany's shoulders. "Every night since she pushed me away, I had wanted to forget her. I had wanted to start over but I can't. And I don't know why," Quinn said as silent tears fell.

Brittany knew she was crying already but didn't acknowledge it. Brittany knew she had to engage Quinn in this conversation, "You know Q. You know it very well."

Quinn didn't answer.

Brittany continued, "You had many unanswered questions that you tried to ignore. It made you depressed that's why you became bulimic. You took it hard on yourself and thought that you weren't good enough."

Quinn nodded. Brittany was right. "I was never enough," Quinn said.

"Then, later on, you realized that it was not on you. Maybe you realized all you did was for the benefit of your relationship, though you never had a real one."

Quinn nodded. Why does it seem that Brittany knows everything?

"You came here for answers, Q."

Quinn's once silent tears turned into silent sobs. Yes, Brittany was right. She came here for answers.

"But why do you have to torture yourself like this? I may seem to speak as if I know a lot of things about the nature of your relationship with Ray but I do not understand. You were always one of the wisest people I know, but why is it when it came to Rachel you always make the wrong decisions?" Brittany knew it was harsh but she had to say it. She had to know what Quinn had to say.

"You know Rachel will never choose you," Brittany said. She wanted to cry with the words she's saying but again, she needed to do this. Neither Quinn, nor Rachel will ever address the situation if no one addressed it for them. And since Santana was on Quinn's side, she felt responsible of breaking it down on them.

Brittany held Quinn's hand and clasped it before she continued, "She was damn scared before her career even started. How scared do you think she is now that it's peaking?"

Quinn sighed. She wanted to just jump out of the boat and drown into the lake.

"So why are you here, Q? Do you really want to make things harder? You can just move on and start a new life in LA. Be a better person and show Rachel that she lost the best thing when she let go of you? Why not do that Quinn?"

"I can't," Quinn's voice trembled. She didn't really wanna confess but the alcohol outsmarted her. "I dated a few guys in college but no one of them made me happy the way she did. Yes, Brittany, I came here hoping to know the answers to my questions. Why did she push me away? Why did she kick me out of her life after everything I did to be a part of it?" Quinn said.

She can't help her tears. It's flowing freely as she sobbed into Brittany's shoulders. Brittany's hand clasped hers tighter.

"Brit, I loved her so," Quinn's voice trembled, "much."

Brittany nodded, "I know."

"I came here because of this little hope that maybe, maybe there's a reasonable explanation to this pain," Quinn said. It's breaking her heart right now.

"Why don't you go ask her? It would cut the chase."

Quinn shook her head, "Do you remember that day we met again? I was all willing to ask her and confront her. But seeing her again, I felt weak."

"Brit, when I saw her again, there's a part of me that was happy because I had her back in my life. There's a part me that was very proud of her because she's getting all the things she wanted even if didn't include… me.

Despite the tears, Quinn continued "I saw her again and suddenly, there's this spark of contentment. She's now a Broadway star and maybe this is what she got by letting me go. Maybe, I was the price to pay to have all of this achieved. She was happy and it's all that matters. Somehow, I got my answers. She wanted this more than she wanted me. Who wouldn't want this?"

Brittany shrugged, "I wouldn't want this more than I want to spend my life with San. I could give up dancing if that would mean carrying our first daughter."

Quinn smiled, "Well, she isn't you."

"You said you got the answers, why aren't you leaving?"

"There's an aspect of my life that only she can fill. And maybe, I could fool myself for just a while if it meant being happy. Just seeing her, Brit, God! It made me happy and contented. For once in my life since she pushed me away, I felt good."

"I hope you're not hoping to get her back."

"No, B," this broke Quinn apart. It's true. She's not hoping anymore. "When I saw her, I just realized I just can't afford not to have her in my life. I just wanted her to be in my life in whatever way possible."

Brittany's tears started to fall. She felt really sorry for Quinn.

"I'm willing to move forward but Rachel has a special place in my heart," Quinn smiled despite the pain she felt.

"I guess you're right. There will always be someone who will come and your life will never be the same."

"I know and Rachel's that person to me. I care about her. And by being around her, I'm doing myself a favor. It's like being nursing an ankle injury. You get into too much pain, and as you live through the pain, you get less threatened and hurt by it. And by the time you're ready, maybe, you'll let go and fully heal."

Brittany smiled and nodded.

"If there's one thing I have learned from Beth, Finn, my father and Rachel… the only way to deal with pain is to deal with it face to face."

Brittany let go of Quinn's hand and wrapped her arms around Quinn as they remain seated.

"I'm tired of running away, Brit."

"I'm proud of you, Quinn."

Quinn smiled.

Brittany then broke the contact and faced Quinn. She used her index finger to lift Quinn's chin up so their eyes met, "Promise me one thing?"

Quinn nodded.

"By the time you're ready, please, step out of Rachel's shadow and go find a life apart from her."

Quinn didn't know but Brittany's sincerity surprised her.

"You told me you aren't playing the hope card anymore and it's just enough for you to just have her in your life and you're contented even if you're not together. If it's all true, then you'd be happy to be just part of the awesome fearsome four. Let the couple part to me and Santana. Be BFFs with Rachel and… be happy with someone else."

"Promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"In the name of Lord Tubbington?"

"In the name of Lord Tubbington."

Both of them smiled as they hugged each other.

"You know what Q. If San and I weren't in love with each other, I swear I'd fall in love with you," Brittany smilingly said.

Quinn just smiled.

"But that would totally be hard because if San and I weren't in love, she would be in love with you too," Brittany said almost laughing.

Quinn almost laughed, too, "That would be creepy."

"Yeah, creepy."

Both of them laughed.

"Q, you deserve someone better. Someone, who will always choose you no matter what the cost."

"Please stop making me cry, B," Quinn smiled and pleaded.

"When did you become so strong, Quinn Fabray?"

"And when did you become so full of words of wisdom, Brittany Pierce?"

o-o-o-o-o

Back at the docks, while Brittany and Quinn were out, Santana tried to ignore drunk Rachel.

She gave Brittany the you'll-gonna-pay-for-this-later look before the two blondes went boating. She didn't want to be let alone with Rachel, especially not with the drunk one.

"You know Santana," Rachel said as she drunkenly swallowed her umpteenth shot of Bacardi 151,"since I kicked Quinn out, I always left the light in the living room open."

Santana raised an eyebrow. Of course, Rachel doesn't know what she was saying but one thing Santana learned about the diva is that she always spoke of the truth when she's drunk. And even if Santana didn't care, what Rachel said was still interesting information.

"And why is that?" Santana asked leaning back to her chair. She isn't taking her shots anymore; instead, she gave them all to Rachel.

"I was hoping she'd try again," Rachel replied as tears welled her eyes, "and maybe if she saw the lights open, she'd know I'm just inside the house."

The confession made Santana angry. She thought, "What a bitch! After all she did to Q, she expected her to come back for her. From what planet is this girl from?" But the Latina didn't say it out loud because it wouldn't matter since Rachel won't even remember.

"I even left the key under the doormat, just in case she came and I was at the theater or something," Rachel continued.

Santana just stared at her.

"Santana Lopez can I ask you something?

"Mmmmm-kay."

"Do you hate me?"

"A lot."

"I can see that."

"Why'd you even ask?"

"Just to confirm," Rachel said trying to look straight at Santana but failed miserably because she can't even hold her head steady. She continued, "You know, S. I know where you're coming from."

Santana shrugged.

"But…" now, even her words are alcohol-influenced. "You ha-have ta' knoooow, I didn't mean to."

Santana's thin patience is… well… thinner now,"You still did it. That's the whole fucking point."

"I had huge dreams!" Rachel said raising her voice. Santana's reflex responded immediately as she straightened up. "Fuck Santana, we were 18!" Rachel was now yelling at Santana.

_The eff? Did she just say fuck? Oh my God._ "It's not like she proposed, Berry!"

"I loved her."

"It doesn't matter anymore!"

At that, Rachel stood immediately. The chair she was sitting at flew a few meters away. She held her shot glass on one hand as she rose the other asking for the attention of everyone who was also dining with them.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Rachel declared. "I don't know if you know me, but I…" Rachel said as she walked towards the middle of the huge space.

Everyone was looking at her now. Some are already taking pictures of the very, very wasted and wobbly Broadway star.

Santana made no effort of stopping her. Instead, she slouched a little lower on her seat as if hiding herself, as she covered her mouth with the hand that was resting on the arm rest. She can't help but laugh and though she kept her laugh discreet, it was pretty obvious because her eyes were definitely playful and her shoulders were moving due to constant laughter.

"I am Rachel Berry! I am a famous Broadway star and I, fell in love once in my life. And I let it go!" Rachel announced. One of the people in there already taped the scene.

"Cheers to all the people that have loved and lost!" Rachel said as she drunk her shot straight.

Some very few people raised their glasses with her.

"Cheers to the people who decided to choose…" Rachel flushed her huge drunk grin, "their dreams over love."

Fewer people raised their glasses.

Then there was silence – at least on Rachel's part. Others continued with their businesses, some still eyed Rachel who seemed to be passing out anytime soon. Santana, well… her laughter died down, but only burst once again when she saw Rachel almost jump to the song that played softly on the docks' speakers.

"Oh! I know that song!"

A known Taylor Swift song then began owning the place as everyone tried to recognize what Rachel was talking about.

_I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while._

Rachel nodded along with the lyrics. "Oh how I loved Judy," she mumbled to herself.

She nodded even more with the next lyrics_. You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why._

And then, to complete Santana's entertainment, Rachel began singing: in a very, very drunk Rachel Berry voice. You know… the "off-pitched, almost reciting the song as if it was a poem" kind of Berry voice. To top it off, Rachel acted as if she was holding a microphone.

Santana laughed, but still discreetly.

_Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

As the chorus began, Rachel's tears already blurred her vision. Yes, she was drunk and she was supposed to feel nothing. But no, she feels something and it fuckin' hurts. It hurt so much she just wanted to let it out no matter who was watching.

Rachel sang the chorus as if she was just another hopeless Taylor Swift fan. And this is the part that Santana stopped laughing.

Yes, she was mad at Rachel but she knew and she was very sure at that moment that Rachel was hurting. She was about to stand up when she saw Quinn and Brittany boarding off the boat.

Both of their eyes grew wide at the sight of Rachel; and Brittany instantly turned to her with the what-the-fuck look.

Santana defended herself with an I-don't-know shrug.

Much to the trio's horror, Rachel turned to Quinn and sang the second verse. _These days I haven't been sleeping. Staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call._

Quinn shook her head and with all the professionalism she had in her, she walked towards Rachel and practically dragged the diva back to the table as Brittany said constant I'm sorry's to the other customers.

In all honesty, Quinn was damned pissed but she didn't know why.

She hated seeing Rachel this way. This isn't her Rachel. And now she's even more pissed that she isn't _her _Rachel. This, drunk Broadway diva, is the very reason why she isn't _hers _anymore. She's changed, a lot.

"Santana? What the hell?" Quinn said as she practically pushed Rachel back down her seat. She's damned furious.

Rachel kept singing the _unknown _lyrics while her head swayed side to side much to her friends' disgust.

"Rachel stop it," Quinn said steadying Rachel's head.

Rachel kept doing it and practically banged her head and sang out loud when the chorus approached.

"Rachel, stop," Quinn was growing impatient already.

Brittany stood silently looking all disappointed at Santana.

"What? It's not my fault, I can't stop her," Santana said shrugging trying her very best to control her once again growing laughter.

"Rachel!" Quinn yelled so impatiently that the diva was sent into complete silence.

Silence enveloped the three of them. _I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile. So good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night…_

Rachel's tears suddenly fell. Her body is shaking at the thought of how she missed Quinn.

"I'm taking her home," Brittany said trying to lift Rachel up.

_Maybe this is wishful thinking…_

Rachel stood up in an instant, not needing help from Brittany. Rachel turned to the former head Cheerio, her eyes all teary, her body all wobbly; and heart broke at the words she almost whispered:

"If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

Quinn and Rachel just looked into each others eyes as Taylor Swift faded into background. _I'd go back in time and change it but I can't._

_This is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well, obviously, I used a song to actually express Rachel's feelings. We all know Ray-Ray. She expresses herself best with a song, even with a Taylor Swift song. LOL I bet most of you know about the song, so… *shrug* (And may I just say, I loved Santana in this. LOL. Sorry.)<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Phoebe, Rachel… Phoebe + Quinn = Jealous Rachel. Jealousy + Rachel Berry = Plots against the target. Who's Phoebe to Quinn by the way?**_


	26. Chapter 26: Phoebe Fiasco

**Author's Note: Thank you. Once again for all those reviews. Gaaaad. I can't even... ugh. Y'all are wonderful. Thank you so much! I know I can never thank you enough. But still.. thank you.**

**Well, this chapter is a little lighter than the past ones. This story is like a slope. Right now, the slope is headed upwards so this is a preparation for coming events.**

**Oh, God. I'm glad song worked. I nearly cried while writing it when I was listening to Back To December. Thank you and may y'all keep reading.**

* * *

><p>Rachel was beyond amazed when she woke up the morning after her drunken fiasco. Though her head was pounding and felt as if it was going to split into two, she was relieved that there wasn't any single news about her breakdown.<p>

Usually when those nights come, she'd wake up in the morning with a dozen missed calls from Charles, a few from her previous _useless _publicist and a pile of tabloids headlining her misbehavior.

But this time, there was nothing. None at all.

Quinn was that good.

Well, it wasn't that hard for Quinn since the restaurant Santana chose was a little too private for paparazzi to come really close.

Quinn had a few calls from some tabloids asking her about some low-quality cell phone photos (taken by other customers) that were sent to them with hilarious captions about Rachel breaking into a Taylor Swift song.

She practically stayed all night convincing people that it was a private moment and that they will press charges if ever a word comes out.

If there was one thing she learned about media relations, never lie to them or deny the truth. Always speak of the real events and then learn to play with the media's minds. Quinn was best at playing minds, so it came handy.

She even contacted all major blog sites and asked for a week of surveillance in every blog post that tagged Rachel Berry.

Two days after, a video was posted on YouTube and after having nearly 300 views, the video was removed from the World Wide Web - of course it was part of Quinn's plan of action.

She knew one of the admins of YouTube and since she's a charmer, the whole thing was quite easy, except for the part that Santana downloaded a copy and saved it in her phone for "future purposes".

Two weeks passed and everything seemed normal. Well, they actually seem to be normal.

Rachel and Brittany planned for the wedding and nagged the wedding planner almost every day about the details. The wedding will be in about two months and they – Rachel and Brittany, not Santana and Brittany – decided that the wedding will be in Lima. They will be bringing around five to ten of Brittany's New York friends and the rest will be Lima people, especially their Glee clubbers in high school.

Santana, well, she still studies... very hard. Old news. Santana's only say in the wedding was she wanted it to be exclusive for the people that mattered in both of their lives, in short, she wanted to keep it small but big enough for their loved ones. Who would've thought Santana Lopez had a heart like that.

Quinn, on the other hand, was all over the place – in a good way.

Rachel's new show will be on in about a week and she's getting all interviews, publicity stunts, photo shoots and rehearsals that now started in the morning and ended at night. Even Quinn herself was shocked at how natural she was at publicity.

Charles gave her a huge bonus because of the recent activities she had for Rachel. Rachel got to left and right interviews on national TV and got featured in one of the leading magazines in the country – all in just the span of two weeks.

Well, as for Rachel, here she is again feeling that her career is perfect. Seriously, when Quinn handled her career, the blonde got rid of all the bad decisions that Charles made for her. Not to mention that Quinn was very professional, smart, wise, _beautiful, inspiring, charming…. _Oh, Rachel could spend all day describing how smooth Quinn was about the whole thing.

Deep inside, – though she would always tell herself to stop feeling this way – she loved the longer hours of rehearsals because of two things: one, she loves the cramming whenever a show approaches its near debut; and two, longer hours with her _publicist._

She will never forget how mad Quinn was the day after her Taylor Swift sing-along. Quinn met her at the rehearsals and preached about her stubbornness. After arguing with Quinn for an hour, Rachel retreated and apologized. Quinn said she accepted the apology but acted aloof around Rachel for the rest of the day and the next two days or so. Rachel liked it, though.

She can always recall that Quinn was always like that when she's mad at her when they were still… It was like a pattern: they will fight for an hour, make up, Rachel will apologize, Quinn is right, and then Quinn will not talk to her. It's pretty much the same except before, it only took a little wooing to make Quinn talk to her. And of course, Rachel cannot do that anymore.

The funny thing about the whole situation, her co-workers are still in disbelief about how her attitude drastically changed since she had Quinn as her publicist. From being the diva that she was, she is now in the run for the Most Friendly Person award in the production. This is how she is when she's happy. _And yes, she is. One certain Quinn Fabray is making her happy without even trying._

Rachel loved almost everything about the past two weeks except for Phoebe's presence extraordinaire.

As always, Phoebe will come to rehearsals, sit with Quinn, they will have a good time and Rachel will see it and then be pissed at it as if Phoebe is rubbing their closeness to her face.

The defining moment in Rachel's annoyance (jealousy) was when Quinn stopped eating lunch with her because Phoebe prepared lunch for her.

_Phoebe is bringing Quinn lunch! Every day!_

But Rachel just nodded when Quinn told her that she'd go eat with Phoebe and not with her. She knew it was unfair to keep Quinn from her _friend_. So she just settled on eating lunch _alone_. The first time she ate alone, she nearly cried. It still felt weird when Quinn leaves her behind. Again, _Quinn never traded her for anything in the world._

But one day though, Rachel woke up realizing that she's done backing down from this Phoebe challenge.

Is there even a challenge? Rachel wouldn't know because she immediately typed a text even though she was unsure if she'll get a reply.

_**What is Quinn's favorite food for lunch? – R**_

She didn't even bother typing an explanation. Scrolling down her contact list, she saw, clicked and sent the message to Santana Lopez.

She then went on with her morning routine and after getting all ready she checked her phone and found no reply.

She frowned and shook her head. Of course, Santana will not help her with this.

_What was she even doing?_ She sat on the edge on her bed and sighed.

_What am I doing? Why am I doing this?_

As far as she's concerned, she hurt Quinn and she doesn't have the right to assume that she can easily be friends with Quinn again.

She was already giving up on thinking on how to _keep Quinn from Phoebe _when her phone buzzed. She nearly jumped expecting that it would be Santana but again turned frustrated that it wasn't her. It was Brittany. She opened the message and read:

_**Sushi. Get the one in Blue Ginger in Fort Hamilton.**_

Rachel smiled. She was about to reply when her phone buzzed again. It's Brittany again.

_**Match it with a Boston Roll.**_

She smiled again and just before she typed a reply, another message came.

_**Get the Red Bead Drink, too.**_

She wondered how Brittany seems to know how she's thinking. Maybe it comes in handy with living with her, but Brittany always helped her out.

_**Thanks Brit. You're the best.**_

_** I know. *winks**_

_** I'll sneak out of rehearsal before lunch so I can get it.**_

_** Yay! Go Rach! Take the Phoebe down.**_

She shook her head and smiled. She felt this different kind of excitement. She's getting lunch for Quinn. Okay, so it's not that big of a deal but Rachel thought this is the least thing she could do.

But, is she taking Phoebe down? It's not even clear if she's really a competition. Is there even a competition? What for?

o-o-o-o-o

Eventually, Rachel sneaked out of rehearsals an hour and a half before lunch time. The drive to Fort Hamilton takes approximately 30 minutes. So, Rachel planned that she needed one hour of travel time back and forth and 30 extra minutes if a hassle comes in.

She told her director and Quinn that she needs to urgently meet someone important and can't wait. So without a doubt from the director and a few questions from her _controlling _(but very lovely) publicist she drove off to Blue Ginger.

She got everything she needed as she happily and excitedly drove back to the theatre. She also got herself lunch from a nearby vegan restaurant.

With all smiles, she got inside the theatre just as the production manager called for a 60-minute lunch break.

She saw Quinn stand up from her favorite seat, looking around. Rachel knew Quinn was already looking for her. Phoebe who's still sitting beside her was buried in Quinn's iPad probably trying to beat Quinn's record in Angry Birds.

When Rachel saw the frustration on Quinn's face, she then walked towards the blonde with a bunch of take-out paper bags at hand.

"Quinn," Rachel said trying to keep herself from smiling of excitement.

"You said it'll be quick," Quinn said flatly.

"I know, I'm sorry," Rachel said as she slightly lifted the bags in her hand as if showing Quinn what she's got, "I got us some-"

Rachel was cut when Phoebe called for Quinn's attention by tapping her shoulders, "Lunch, Q?"

_Oh my God. Epic showdown. This Phoebe knows how to trigger my annoyance._

She looked at Quinn who looked as if she's about to say yes to Phoebe. Rachel had to say something.

"Quinn!" she said without noticing that her voice raised a little. Quinn turned to her and Rachel said, "I got us lunch. It's your favorite."

_Rachel nearly died at her attempt of showing Quinn she wanted to spend lunch with her. But she had to do it. She can't let Phoebe win._

Rachel looked at Phoebe and said something Santana Lopez would have loved, "Oh, Phoebe, I'm sorry. I wasn't able to get you lunch. I'm quite used to being just me and Quinn."

_Oh my God. What have I become? I'm sorry Phoebe, but it feels so good. Welcome to Rachel Berry's world. Consider yourself a victim._

She saw Quinn's eyes grow wide at her with what she said. But Rachel kept a smiling face, the one that she uses when she needs someone to get out of the theatre already.

Phoebe was quite surprised too but she smiled and calmly said, "Oh, no. It's okay. I'm sorry if I'd been interrupting you're time with your publicist. It's just that Quinn and I have been spending way too much _good times_ together. I hope you don't mind."

Shoot.

Phoebe emphasized on the words "good time" and "together". Her last five words even sounded sarcastic. Is this Phoebe firing back?

_Oh, no she didn't. It's on, bitch. It's so on._

"Of course, I don't mind," Rachel said trying not to sound sardonic.

_Where's Quinn in all this? Quinn Fabray! Choose. We're two people asking you for lunch and you're standing there just smiling…_

_ Oh wait, Quinn is… smiling… at Rachel._

_ Oh wait, Rachel's knees are growing weak. That smile on Quinn's face, her smiling eyes. _

Rachel felt her heart swell with pride and joy. She remembered this smile being the only reason she wanted to be a better person way back in high school. She wanted to go to school every day just for that smile.

Quinn smiled sweetly at everyone but _that _smile…

Rachel thought, _that smile is just for me. I know. Wait a minute, is Quinn still…_

Rachel's thoughts were interrupted when Phoebe said something.

"I'm gonna have lunch outside, Q. I'll be back later and I'm gonna put that that version of Angry Birds to rest," Phoebe said as she and Quinn looked playfully in the eyes.

Quinn was still smiling but it was different than the way she smiled at Rachel earlier.

Rachel was still frustrated about this whole Phoebe thing but she just won her first encounter with Phoebe; and by the looks of it Rachel knew there's gonna be more.

Soon as Phoebe left, Quinn turned to Rachel and said, "So, where did you meet this very special friend? Is it that far enough to actually get to Fort Hamilton and get me these?"

Quinn finished her question and took the bags from Rachel as they started walking towards the backstage.

"I," is Rachel supposed to tell that she SNEAKED OUT OF REHEARSALS AND WENT ALL THE WAY TO FORT HAMILTON just to get her publicist's favorite lunch? "Yeah, it was on the way, so I thought I'd get you those," Rachel finished.

"Wow, thank you Ms. Berry," Quinn said as they sat by the lunch table inside Rachel's huge dressing room. "How did you even know that this is my favorite?"Quinn asked totally innocent to the fact that Rachel sliced herself with a chainsaw inside her mind because of the question.

_Yeah, well played Rachel! Will you tell her that you wanted to spend time with her that's why you asked Santana and Brittany replied with the answers? So you're admitting that you miss her._

_ Oh wait, did Rachel just admit to herself that she missed Quinn even thought they were together for almost every day for the past two weeks?_

"Brittany told me about it. Maybe Santana told her," Rachel said. "It's no big deal, Quinn. You've been a great publicist lately, it's the least I can do," she added. It was true, though, Quinn's been great lately.

Quinn just smiled.

"I'd buy the whole restaurant for you, if I could," Rachel said before her mouth can stop it.

Quinn smiled once again and Rachel could swear she saw her blush before she started putting out the food from the bags.

Rachel smiled and honestly, she felt really accomplished.

o-o-o-o-o

"Brit, it's pointless!" Santana nearly yelled at Brittany who was calmly sitting in place.

They've been arguing a lot these past few days about their views about Quinn and Rachel's recent reunion. Santana wanted to keep Quinn from Rachel while Brittany just wanted them to address their issues by themselves.

"San, it's not like they're gonna kill each other," Brittany said as she sipped from her glass of water.

"Oh sure, I'm gonna kill Berry if she leads her on again," Santana said as she hopelessly leaned back in place.

"Santana, it was one lunch."

This shut Santana up for a while. Brittany never calls her 'Santana' unless the blonde is pissed at her.

"And knowing Rachel, I know she still doesn't know what she's doing," Brittany said as she looked at Santana. "Baby, I know you're trying to protect Quinn. I would, too if this isn't Rachel we're talking about," Brittany said before going back to her lasagna.

"How do you still trust her?" Santana said finally giving up this particular argument. Brittany's obviously pissed and she didn't want that. She and Brittany had lately been fighting a lot regarding Quinn and Rachel; and Santana thought, it's not even her relationship.

"My reasons are same as yours. I also saw Rach pay for the consequences of what she did. It was like a curved blade. When she hurt Quinn, she hurt herself, too," Brittany said with her ever innocent tone.

Santana just shook her head.

"She still doesn't realize how much she loved or maybe still loves Quinn. I'm pretty sure it's the latter. But she'll come to her senses. We both know Rachel, San. She's ignorant for a while but it doesn't last long. There will be a big blow," Brittany explained.

Santana looked at Brittany interested, "Brit, you're starting to sound like that Facebook app, Anita the psychic."

Both of them laughed.

"Seriously, S. There's always a turning point. And when that turning point comes, we'll know how much they need our involvement."

Santana still disagrees with Brittany but just as always, she knew Brittany knows what she's saying.

"I never knew how much I needed you until I fed the ducks alone in Central Park last year," Brittany confessed. "I nearly cried because I missed you so much," Brittany said smiling at Santana then continued, "It was such a small thing compared to people dying before their loved ones realize how much the person means to them, but for me, it was the turning point."

Santana can't help but smile and blush, "Why?"

"It's because it's the day I realized how much I can't live without you."

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel was waiting for the director to call her back to rehearse the finale song when she saw Quinn alone in her seat typing something down her organizer.

It looks as if she got another interview for Rachel.

She smiled at how Quinn has changed from being the HBIC in high school to something else, obviously something more. But the smile was more because of how something about Quinn remained the same.

The blonde still poked her own nose when she's trying to recall something. The blonde still loved those sundresses. She still sighs and hopelessly bows her head and stayed like that for a couple of seconds when she's frustrated about something.

She's changed a lot and yet, she's still that same old Quinn. She continued to watch Quinn and more to Rachel's pleasure; Quinn nodded and tapped herself on the shoulders as if she's proud of herself for accomplishing something really, really big.

Rachel walked over to Quinn who was obviously in a good mood.

_Maybe it's because of lunch. Rachel wondered as she giggled to herself._

"I can sense the obvious happiness in my publicist's eyes," Rachel said as she sat beside Quinn. She took the seat that Phoebe owned for the past two weeks.

Quinn looked up and smiled at her. Rachel died… on the inside.

"Yes, Ms. Berry. I'm very pleased with what I have done," Quinn said almost too comfortably.

"Does the good news involve my career?"

"Yes, it does," Quinn said excitedly but in a very Quinn Fabray kind of excitement.

"Care to tell me what you've put me into?" Rachel asked smilingly.

"I landed you a feature in one of US' leading magazines."

"National geographic?" Rachel joked trying not laugh at her own joke.

Quinn looked at her playfully, "Yes. They're featuring you feeding an elephant."

Rachel laughed, "Seriously, Fabray."

"You started it," Quinn said trying to hold her laugh as well.

"Reader's Digest."

Rachel's eyes grew wide, "You gotta be kidding me!"

"No, I'm not," Quinn said proudly.

Rachel jumped out of her chair and pulled Quinn into a tight hug.

She was happy. She'd been featured into many magazines but Reader's Digest was different. It was her father's favorite and they have a huge collection of back issues in Lima.

She was jumping up and down saying something about her fathers, their collection and how it has been her dream since she was kid.

She didn't realize that she and Quinn have been hugging each other for a while until Quinn said, "I know. I know your dads like it that's why I pushed it."

Awkward.

Something in the air has changed. Rachel quickly broke contact with Quinn, fixed her dress and straightened up. They stood still just looking at each other. Quinn was still smiling as if she's really proud of herself.

How can things get any more awkward?

"Th-Thank you, Quinn," Rachel said trying to switch the mood.

"It's my honor to make your dreams come true, Ms. Berry," Quinn said sincerely.

This sincerity is killing Rachel.

"It's always been you who made things possible for me, Q," Rachel said as she turned her back on Quinn and walked towards the stage. A few more steps and Rachel's tears started to fall.

_It's always been you, Quinn. Always._

o-o-o-o-o

Just as when Rachel got hold of Quinn's attention for the longest time that day, Phoebe returned with a present for Quinn.

_She's really getting this on. Rachel thought._

Phoebe bought Quinn a cotton candy.

_Why didn't she remember about these freaking cotton candies?_

Quinn loved it when they were still… In fact, Rachel used to buy her one every Friday since Quinn can't have them every day because of strict Cheerios policies.

Rachel saw Phoebe say, "Surprise!" as the annoying brunette handed Quinn the cotton candy. And she saw Quinn say, "Oh my God, Phoebe, I haven't had this for a lifetime! Thank you."

She could see the sparkle in Quinn's eyes.

_Is she in love with Phoebe?_

_ Are they dating?_

_ Is she… over me? Completely?_

These were the questions that gave Rachel instant images of Quinn leaving her for Phoebe. Leaving isn't even the word because they aren't even together.

She looked at them once again and for the second time that day, she saw that smile in Quinn's face.

_ Is she giving that smile to Phoebe or is she smiling like that because she remembers me?_

Rachel hoped it's the latter.

Later that evening, Rachel insisted Quinn to accompany her going home. Honestly, Rachel was so damned frustrated that she didn't notice she actually _commanded _Quinn to walk her home.

So, Quinn walked her home. The whole walk was silent. Literally.

None of them talked because Quinn was busy texting someone over the phone. It was Charles. He kept asking about Rachel's interviews. Rachel was just thankful it wasn't Phoebe because, for goodness's sake! They just hugged non-stop before parting ways.

It was when they reached the lobby of Rachel's apartment building that the silence was broken.

"Quinn."

"Yeah?"

"Mind if I ask you something?"

"Actually, I do. And no, you can't have a drink tonight," Quinn said without hesitating.

"No, it's not that. It's about Phoebe."

Quinn finally took her eyes off her phone and looked at Rachel, "What about her?"

Rachel didn't want to ask this but she had to, "Who is she to you?"

She saw Quinn slightly surprised of the question but smiled and nearly laughed. Rachel wondered why Quinn laughed.

Well, as for Quinn, she laughed because Rachel sounded very, very jealous.

"She's special to me," Quinn said as she turned back to her phone. Without looking at Rachel, Quinn said "I'm leaving, Ms. Berry. Santana's freaking out, it's nearly midnight. Rest well."

At that, Quinn disappeared leaving Rachel more confused than ever.

_Why does it hurt like this?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm sorry for this late update. Thank you for putting up with this fic. Y'all have been great.<br>**_

_**For the next chapter: Rachel's turning point starts. Rach vs Santana again. But could also be the start of a Pezberry friendship. And a twist in the Brittana story line.**_


	27. Chapter 27: Mad Rachel, Bad Rachel

**Author's Note: Thank you, once again for those wonderful reviews. Y'all have been so great.**

**So here's another chapter and some Faberry moments. We're slowly teaching Rachel her lesson. Hahaha.**

**Thank you for keeping up with this fic and don't give up on me, LOL.**

* * *

><p>As far as Rachel was concerned, moving to New York meant she didn't have to care about anyone but herself. That's why she became such an arrogant diva and a drunkard as well. For her, it was part of her life and it came in handy with all her artistic brilliance on stage. She was successful as an artist, so far, and she thought nothing else mattered.<p>

Her mindset was still pretty much the same until it was only two days before the final dress rehearsal of "Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time". She woke up that morning ecstatic about the day's activities. She immediately checked her phone because she usually wakes up with texts from her publicist/assistant reminding her of her tasks. Quinn sent her three messages for the day, which she found weird because she's used to finding only two. She read the earliest one:

_**Good morning. Be in the theatre at 7:30. Rehearsals start at 8. Voice warm-up for 30 minutes. Don't forget to bring the following: extra clothes, script with comments, extra copy of script with comments and a copy of original script. Take with you your energy because it's gonna be one hell of a day. Steve changed a part of the choreography in Act III so don't forget those dancing shoes and REMEMBER to WARM UP before dancing, we don't want Rachel Berry to get body pains at this time of the production date. Lengthy message. Sorry.**_

Rachel then moved to the next message:

_**Please do bring your patience and make it longer. Bring your vitamins and don't forget that we have 15-minute breaks at 10:00-10:15 and 3:00-3:15. Vitamin water is a must; bring loads of them. And before you take a bath after reading the pile of messages that this lovely publicist sent you, smile. It's gonna be a long day. Better start it right. Kay?**_

Rachel smiled and felt warm on the inside. She realized that Quinn's texts the past few weeks became sweeter and sweeter each day. She sounded more of a caring friend than a professional publicist.

After giving up on stopping the smile that came across her face, Rachel went to read the third message.

_**Sorry, I can't make it to rehearsals today. Charles will be with you for the day. I'm badly ill. Santana said I can't get out of the house because I'm battling with a 40-degree fever and constant headaches. I'd be calling you during the 15-minute breaks to check on you and don't fret to call me if you need to ask anything. I'm hoping to get well tomorrow and be back to work eventually. Break a leg, superstar.**_

Rachel's smile suddenly changed into an expression of worry in the middle the text.

_Damn it! Quinn is sick and I need to get there._

Rachel was about to get dressed to get to Quinn's but she realized she didn't have much time. It's almost 6:30 and she had only an hour to get ready for work.

_But Quinn is sick. I need to take care of her._

_ Santana will be there to take care of her. She'll be okay._

_ But._

_ Quinn said you have to get to the theatre._

Rachel, as usual, debated with herself. Just as she decided to go to Quinn's instead of going straight to the rehearsals, the producer called and told her that she needed to be in the theatre as early as she can because there had been changes with the finale song and they need her opinion right away.

Without a choice, she went to the theatre but her mind is drifted to the other side of the road. She wanted to see Quinn.

Quinn was never the type of person who easily gets sick. She's always fit and healthy, especially in high school given the Cheerios strict policy on health. And even now, Rachel knew that Quinn kept a close watch on her health so knowing that Quinn was sick surprised and worried Rachel.

She arrived at the theatre and before she proceeded to the stage to start warming up, she called Quinn. The blonde didn't answer though and Rachel was sent to voice mail. She assumed that Quinn was still asleep so she decided to leave a message:

_**I hate you Quinn Fabray for making me worry like this. I'll call you the earliest moment that I get a chance to. Don't eat pineapples! And please keep your drinking water warm. Eat breakfast after this voicemail and take the medicine that I'm sure Dr. Lopez there gave you. DO NOT BE ALL TOO STUBBORN ABOUT THIS. Take your medications and get well soon. **_There was pause after the last sentence but Rachel continued. _**You'll be missed a lot.**_

Since she started warming up, Rachel had been anxious about Quinn's sickness. She kept the phone in her pocket after she assigned Quinn a personal ringtone so that she'll know if Quinn is calling her. She'd ignore all the other calls but if she'd hear the one she had set on Quinn's number, she promised herself to take it right away.

During the first 15-minute break, Rachel called Quinn just before Quinn called her. She learned that Quinn was experiencing over fatigue and the blonde told her that Santana said it was just because of stress. Though a bit relieved, Rachel spent the next 10 minutes of her talk with Quinn preaching about not taking a rest and not telling her she's stressed about the matter. Quinn just laughed at how Rachel kept telling her to eat on time and take her medications and every time Quinn laughed, Rachel would say, "Quinn Fabray, this is not funny."

After her first talk with Quinn that day, Rachel found herself smiling the entire time despite worrying about Quinn. She can't help but feel happy every time she remembered Quinn responding with a "Yes, Ma'am, I will" when she told her to call her if she needs anything. Seriously, if Quinn would call her and asked for anything, she'd skip the entire rehearsal and rush to Quinn's aid. _Would she, though?_

At lunch, Rachel immediately called Quinn and reminded her to take her medications and eat HEALTHY food. Honestly, Rachel didn't care anymore at how Quinn will see these actions. She was worried and she needed to make sure that Quinn was fine and was getting all the care she needed at the moment.

Somehow, Rachel told herself that Santana will be there and she is someone who probably knows what to do. But just as her usual self, she never trusted anyone enough when it came to Quinn.

It is true. Ever since high school, Quinn is a different matter to Rachel. She could entrust her career to someone she never knew before, but not Quinn. And although it isn't obvious because of the actions she did a few years back, she never wanted to risk Quinn with anything or anyone else; not even Santana.

Again, Rachel found herself smiling for the next few hours of rehearsals because she just heard Quinn give up a fight with her. They were arguing about Quinn's plan of coming to work tomorrow but Rachel acted like she's scolding a child and eventually, Quinn surrendered. It felt nice for Rachel to be in-command for once.

Rachel hated Charles the entire day, though. Quinn's absence was very much felt because Charles was a very slow person. She can't keep up with Rachel and the diva just replied with a shrug when Charles said, "I can't believe Quinn survives putting up with this every day."

Rehearsals for that day were supposed to be called off at 8 and Rachel already made plans of bringing Quinn dinner. She hated that director for always making decisions at a very bad timing because it was nearly 11 pm when the rehearsals were called off and Rachel made sure that she was able to call the director a bitch before she fled to Quinn and Santana's place.

She met Brittany half way to get the key just in case Santana wasn't home and Quinn was asleep. Rachel knew it was late but she can't let this day pass without checking on Quinn. Brittany cannot come with her though, because the blonde still has late dance rehearsals.

o-o-o-o-o

After dropping by a nearby vegan restaurant and getting Quinn's favorite soup, Rachel found herself in front of Quinn and Santana's apartment.

Her heart was racing and she can hardly breathe. She felt excited, nervous and worried at the same time. She worried about Quinn's health, she's nervous about getting too close to her but most of all, she felt excited just at the thought of taking care of the blonde for the first time in years.

She hit the door bell but no response came. She knocked but still no response came. She had no choice but to use the key that Brittany gave her. She came in nervous that Santana would be too surprised by her that the Latina would just get a knife and stab her thinking that she's some criminal or something.

When she reached the dining table to put down the food she bought for Quinn, Rachel saw a note that made her blood boil in certain levels.

_**Out to New London, Q. Partyin' with meds. – S**_

It was written in a very-doctor way, like the kind of handwriting you'll see when a doctor prescribes a medicine or something. Aside from the scribbled handwriting, Rachel hated the fact that Santana was out "partying" while her best friend was here battling out with fever. "New London" sounded weird to Rachel and she thought that it is some sophisticated strip bar that has loads of uberly hot women that Santana would love to jump at anytime.

"_What a best friend? Oh yes, such a best one," _Rachel thought as she tried to stop the urge of calling Santana and tell her she's the worst best friend ever.

With all the efforts of trying to calm herself she moved to one of the rooms she assumed to be Quinn's. There were two rooms and the other one was half open and Rachel knew Quinn's room is definitely not the half-opened one because… well, it's Quinn. She just felt as if she knew it.

She knocked three times and smiled when she heard Quinn say, "Since when did you learn to knock Lopez?"

Quinn's voice was a little raspy obviously because of too much bed rest.

Rachel answered, "Quinn, it's me Rachel. I hope I didn't disturb you."

In an instant, Rachel heard footsteps approaching the door and the door opened revealing Quinn dressed in light pink pajamas. Her hair was a little messy and Rachel secretly remembered this Quinn from high school – the one she used to surprise in the morning when she felt as if seeing the blonde first thing for the day.

"Rach?" Quinn asked as she looked at Rachel surprised.

Rachel had been used to the way that Quinn addresses her in certain situations. Quinn would call her "Ms. Berry" inside the theatre and whenever Quinn is talking about work but in situations like this and other times that they were alone and not talking about work, or whenever they discussed Brittany and Santana's wedding, Quinn would call her by her first name.

"Quinn, you should go back to bed and rest," Rachel said as she dragged Quinn back inside her room and forced her to climb back to bed. "Oh my God, Quinn you're hot," Rachel said not realizing what she said.

"I know," Quinn replied playfully.

Rachel paused fixing Quinn's bed sheet after realizing what she said and what Quinn meant with her reply. Rachel smiled and now moved to rearranging Quinn's pillows so the blonde could rest her back on them, "Silly. I meant literally… because of the fever."

"Oh, I thought I looked hot in these pajamas," Quinn said as she wrapped herself with her blanket.

"Well," Rachel said secretly surprised of how comfortable she felt with Quinn. "You look hot even in a garbage bag, so maybe you do look hot on those," she finished as she turned her back on Quinn and approached the door.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked with a certain tone that Rachel hasn't heard since senior year.

It is the kind of tone that Quinn used to have whenever the blonde wanted her to stay the night with her at her house. This is the tone of the longing Quinn. The Quinn that needs her but wouldn't admit.

Rachel smiled and promised herself she isn't going anywhere. Quinn needs her… at least in this very moment.

"I'm getting your favorite soup downstairs," Rachel said.

"I don't want to eat anything."

Rachel turned to Quinn and playfully raised an eyebrow, "Quinn."

"What? I have appetite issues, I'm sick," Quinn said as she displayed her infamous I-would-get-anything-through-this-pout pout.

"I'm not buying it, Quinn Fabray," Rachel said as she smiled and then disappeared.

Quinn just sighed and smiled.

It's been a while since someone controlled her life. Santana isn't really counted, though.

A few more minutes, Rachel came back with a tray that had a bowl of soup she assumed to be mushroom based on the smell. There was also a glass of water and a mini-vase that had three paper roses.

As Rachel sat beside her and placed the tray on the blonde's lap, Quinn smiled and played with one of the paper roses.

"Where did you get these?" Quinn asked.

"I made it," Rachel said proudly. "I realized that your house is entirely boring that it doesn't have living things in it aside from you and your roommate. I mean," Rachel said as she grabbed the spoon and fed Quinn her soup, "whose home doesn't have flowers?"

"Ours I guess," Quinn said. The blonde had no chance to deny Rachel feeding her, so she just took the first taste and grabbed the spoon from Rachel and started eating by herself without trying to make things awkward between them.

Then, there was silence – a comfortable one.

"I didn't know you had a thing for origami," Quinn said breaking the first comfortable silence they've had in weeks.

"I never had a thing for that. You see this?" Rachel said as she held the most deformed of the three paper roses. She continued, "This is my first attempt. That YouTube demo sucked."

Quinn laughed, "Wow. A for the effort."

She just sat there, beside Quinn feeling more contented than ever just seeing the smile on Quinn's face because of the paper roses she made.

"Thank you. I had to give extra effort. My publicist is sick and I'm miserable with my manager. I need her back," Rachel's heart started beating faster with the last four words she said.

She's not sure but she liked this feeling. Never had anyone made her heart beat this fast for the last four years. As days passed with Quinn around her, this faster beat of her heart became a daily thing. Breathing became so hard to do but Rachel felt good at that very moment.

Quinn hasn't pushed her away since she arrived, nor did the blonde ever treat her cold. If she felt it right, she knew Quinn approved of her presence at that very moment. And Rachel… Rachel felt extremely right.

Rachel felt as if she was meant to be there in that moment. Moreover, she didn't want to be anywhere but there – in Quinn's room, taking care of the girl whose heart once broke because of her.

"Thank you, Rachel," Quinn said as she finished her bowl of mushroom soup.

Rachel just smiled and before she could stop it she said, "No, thank you… for giving me this chance."

Quinn replied with a smile.

Is this the sign that things are getting better between Rachel and Quinn? That finally, both of them can move on without the fear of the past. That finally, both of them can now stop feeling awkward and just be friends just like old times.

_Is this it, Quinn? Have you forgiven me?_

o-o-o-o-o

Nearly an hour and a half after Quinn fell asleep due to the medicine that Rachel gave her, the brunette sat on the living room anxiously waiting for Santana.

It was nearly two in the morning but Rachel just can't go home without confronting Santana about how disappointed she was at the Latina for leaving Quinn alone during the time that the blonde was sick.

Santana eventually arrived and the moment she saw Rachel sitting on the couch, she sighed and said, "What the hell, Berry?"

And this is the part that Rachel exploded.

"What the hell yourself, Santana?" Rachel said as she stood and faced the Latina half-yelling, half-whispering the words completely aware of the sleeping blonde in one of the rooms inside the apartment.

Rachel would even admit, never in the last four years of her life did she ever felt this protective about someone.

"Why are you here?" Santana said ignoring what Rachel said. She placed the plastic bag she was carrying on top of the table then turned to Rachel putting her hands on her hips as she raised her eyebrows.

"Why aren't you here? That's the question," Rachel said.

"What's your angle? Get it straight to the point Berry because my class is seven in the morning and it sucks to see your face last thing at night," Santana said a little too loud.

"Will you tone down your voice?" Rachel said as she stepped closer to Santana. "Quinn, your sick best friend, is sleeping," Rachel said sarcastically.

Santana immediately looked towards the direction of Quinn's room and then dragged Rachel out of the apartment to the hallway closing the door gently behind them and there, she spoke casually. "What is your problem?" Santana said already growing impatient.

"Quinn is sick and you went out partying! What is the matter with you?" Rachel said lifting her hands in the air as if giving up on Santana.

"Excuse you?" Santana snapped.

"I saw the note you wrote Quinn saying that you were out partying while your best friend here is sick and she had to go through it alone. And her best friend is out having the time of her life when in fact, she's supposed to be beside her and life would be easier because her best friend is a med student," Rachel said in a breath.

Santana sighed as she shook her head and when she opened her mouth to say something.

"Oh, I'm not yet done Ms. Lopez," Rachel said furiously. "Seriously? New London? What is that a strippers club? Did you have a good time, huh?"

Santana laughed hard and Rachel didn't understand why. But Rachel was mad, she was mad at Santana for leaving Quinn when she knew that she's the only one Quinn had.

In fact, consider this issue as an overreaction but Rachel can't help it. She knew Santana was all Quinn had and the thought that Santana would exchange Quinn for anything else broke Rachel's heart.

Honestly, Rachel hated the idea that someone in Quinn's life would do something similar to what she did to the blonde a few years back.

Maybe, she's putting the blame on Santana's shoulder. Or maybe she's trying to give Santana the responsibility that was originally hers but Rachel can't take thinking that someone will break Quinn again.

_She's too fragile to be broken. Not again._

Rachel continued despite Santana's laughter, "And how dare you preach about always being there for Quinn, when in fact, you just like anyone else in her life. Admit it, Santana. You are just like me."

Santana's laughter immediately stopped and Rachel saw that look again. Mt. Santana is about to erupt and Rachel prepared herself though she knew there was no way of preparing for Santana's eruption.

"What now Santana?" Rachel smirked. Honestly, Rachel doesn't understand where all her rage is coming from. "I was right, am I?" Rachel said anticipating Santana's reaction.

Santana took a deep breath and was obviously trying to keep herself calm, "Three things, Berry."

This hit Rachel. She triggered Santana. And she knew Santana was trying all her best not to hit her.

"First, New London is a pharmacy."

Rachel's eyes grew wide. _Oh, why didn't she check Google Maps before she confronted Santana?_

_ Come on! Don't blame me! Does New London sound like a pharmacy to you?_

"I had to get Quinn her medicine because we ran out of stock. And in case you do not know, which I am sure you don't because you do not know anything – Quinn is allergic to just regular drugs. And if what you gave her earlier causes side effects, I swear to God you're gonna pay for it," Santana said as her furious eyes looked straight at Rachel.

Rachel can't help but hate herself with her recent actions. Why does Santana have to be the right one?

"Second, I came home this late because I had to drive to a friend who lives in Brooklyn just to borrow her notes. I missed all of my classes today because I had to watch out for Quinn," Santana said slowly so that Rachel could absorb it.

"Berry, do you know how much it meant missing a day's classes for a med student like me? It's like not having an entire week of voice lessons."

Rachel can't help but feel guilty, "That's a lot."

"Yes! Rachel Berry, that's a lot. And don't you dare assume that you understand our friendship because you never will. You don't have that privilege in your life. You simply don't because as far as I can remember, the last person who actually cared for you was thrown back to LA because you never cared about anyone but your damned self."

"Santana, why do we always have to bring it back? Can't we just move on and start anew?"

Santana smirked and shook her head, "Tell yourself that Berry. And that's the third thing, never ever, tell me that I am like you when it comes to Quinn because I will never forsake her the way you did. I can't believe you'd actually think I'd give up on Quinn with just this simple fatigue fever. Have you forgotten that I was beside Quinn when she was bulimic for a year and a half while you were here enjoying the best of your life?"

There was no other way to say it. Santana always made Rachel realize the things she failed to see.

"And the next time you come in here trying to put all your shortcomings on me, remember that I love Quinn enough not drop her ass off."

Rachel's tears are starting to well her eyes, "San, I… I just want to… make things right."

"You'll never gonna make it right Berry. The damage has been done," Santana said as she turned to the door and sighed.

Rachel just stood there looking at the now calmer Santana. The Latina looked Rachel straight into the eyes and said, "Thank you, though Berry."

Rachel looked at Santana and saw the Latina soften a bit. The diva waited for her to continue.

"For looking out for Quinn tonight," Santana half-smiled.

Rachel felt warm just seeing the Latina smile at her. It's probably the first genuine smile the Latina sent her since their paths crossed in New York.

"But the threat is still on bitch. If Quinn gets side effects, you're singing 'My Headband' at the wedding," Santana said as she opened the door.

Before the Latina walked back inside the apartment, Rachel called, "Santana."

"What? I'm too tired; keep it short like your height."

Rachel smiled, "Thank you."

The Latina sighed and said, "Don't thank me and please don't the wrong impression. You're still on Santana Lopez' watch list. I don't know what your plan is or if you have a plan at all but let me tell you this in advance, Berry. Whatever it is, you'd have to go through me first."

Once finished with her words, Santana made it back inside the apartment and shut the door behind her and again, Rachel was left with all her thoughts and regrets.

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><p><em><strong>I'm sorry I cut the Brittana twist. When I edited this chapter, I had to insert a few things so I moved the Brittana part to the next chapter. So yeah, there.<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Rachel's big blow. Brittana storyline. And Round 2 of Phoebe vs Rachel. Yay.**_


	28. Chapter 28: There stood Quinn

**Author's Note: Thank y'all for the reviews. I hope you keep 'em coming.**

**So, this chapter is kind of Rachel's wake up call. So yeah, there's loads of feelings. LOL.**

**Hope you like it and review please! Yay.**

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><p>Santana can't figure out how she got to this mess.<p>

One day, she and Brittany are happy and engaged, the next day, they will fight about a relationship that's not even theirs.

She only wanted to take care of Quinn.

Though she never admitted, seeing Quinn break in front of her also broke her apart. She knew the blonde never loved anyone as much as she loved Rachel. Quinn has a year of hunger strike and another year and a half of bulimia to prove that.

Santana wanted to take it all out on Quinn. Ask her why she had to do this and put her heart on the line once again but Santana knew better.

She knew Quinn would never take her advice of backing out at this. And though Santana very well knew that the blonde taking extra care and putting up extra walls, Santana just can't help herself from worrying about her.

She had seen how happy Quinn was with Rachel and she also saw how miserable she became when she was dumped. One thing for sure, Santana would do anything to protect her.

But here Santana is, breaking her own heart while protecting Quinn's.

_Figure out which side you're in while we still have time to call the wedding off. I love you San, but I'm getting sick of this whole Quinn thing._

These were the last words Brittany told her before they parted ways after they fought last night. This particularly surprised her because Brittany was always the more patient one. But now, Brittany is this close to giving up on her.

Does it scare Santana? Yes.

A lot.

She lost Brittany once and who knows if she'd have another chance.

So, here she is. Drowning herself in several bottles of Bud Light. She just wanted to be alone and think things over, or maybe just drink things over.

The images of Quinn throwing up in the bathroom while crying in pain still made Santana's heart break. The way she pulled the girl's hair every time she threw up was something Santana didn't want to do again not just because throwing up was gross but because the little sobs that came with it make her stomach do somersaults in a very bad way.

She didn't know if Quinn was ready for anything that would come. She never asked the blonde because she knew she'd never open up. Quinn wanted to move on and "moving on" for Quinn Fabray is almost synonymous to not talking about it or never mentioning it.

They've gone through so much. Her friendship with Quinn is something that was sealed upon their issues with their relationship with other people: Santana with Brittany and Quinn with Rachel.

Quinn is probably the next person to Brittany that Santana would gladly risk her life for. If it wasn't for Quinn, Santana would have lost her way.

Quinn always reminded her about who Brittany was and how she kept her promises whenever Santana almost lost it. And if it wasn't for Quinn, Santana might not be here engaged to the girl she loved the most. She's probably somewhere else, hooking up with a random girl and she'd go on like that for the rest of her life because she lost faith in Brittany. But Santana is here. She got the Brittany back because Quinn didn't let her slip to the edge and fall out completely.

Yet, here she was, about to lose the fight because of the person who kept reminding her why she was fighting for Brittany in the first place.

Santana doesn't even understand herself on why she was this protective with Quinn. Brittany is not even asking her to stop caring for Quinn. She only wanted Santana to stop shooting Rachel and quit brainwashing Quinn.

Brittany only wanted her to stop interfering with them.

But for Santana, that's a lot to ask for because Santana Lopez works that way: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. She wanted Rachel to feel worse. She wanted her to hurt the way Quinn did. But still, it will never be enough.

So, here she is, trying to think about what to do with this.

After finishing her 9th and last bottle of beer, she rode a cab and headed to the theatre where Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time held its rehearsals.

No, she doesn't have plans on attacking Rachel. She's picking up Quinn because she promised her.

Santana didn't want Quinn to see her like that but she needs her. She needs Quinn to make her believe again, that it's gonna be alright; that she and Brittany will get married and have kids.

Once the cab stopped in front of the theatre, Santana called Quinn and mumbled, "I'm here Q. Come down or I'll break in and kill Rachel."

She was drunk, hell, she was so drunk.

After a few minutes she spent telling the cab driver about Rachel's argyle skirts in high school, Santana saw Quinn hurry out of the theatre and into the cab.

"What the hell, Santana? What's with you?" Quinn asked as she instructed the cab driver where to go.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Once the rehearsal was called off, Quinn asked Rachel right away if she could go home because a very drunk Santana is waiting for her in the cab.

Rachel just nodded and said, "Stay safe, Quinn" before letting her off for the night. Tomorrow's gonna be a big day for both of them because of the final dress rehearsal.

She was already on her way out of the theatre when she saw Phoebe walking towards the exit as well.

Rachel hasn't forgiven Phoebe for the day yet. The diva can still recall Phoebe constantly clinging to Quinn today and it made Rachel want to... say... say something to her.

And before she could stop it, old Rachel Berry - the obnoxious, annoying and tactless one - took over her body.

"Phoebe, wait up," Rachel said as she half-run towards Phoebe who stopped to look at her.

"Hey," Phoebe greeted with a sweet smile.

This made Rachel really guilty but no, she isn't backing down. Phoebe will never make Rachel Berry back down with that sweet smile Rachel thought she used on Quinn to seduce her.

"May I ask you something?" Rachel said as she looked at Phoebe from head to toe.

_She looks like normal to me. I don't see anything special with her looks. I don't see it why Quinn seems so... attracted to her. I'd stomach it better if this was Santana Lopez but... what happened to Quinn's taste? She used to have awesome sense of choice. Check on history: Finn Hudson, Sam Evans and *coughs* captain of Glee Club, Rachel Berry._

"Sure," Phoebe replied again with a smile.

"Are you and Quinn..." Rachel can't even say the words. She's damn scared of the answer that she can't even utter the question.

Phoebe smiled, "I don't know."

_You don't know? You don't fucking know?_

"I mean," Phoebe continued before Rachel could grow more impatient. "She's sweet but I don't like to assume anything. She used to be my tutor."

This surprised Rachel. She never asked Quinn how they met, "Tutor? Didn't you go to UCLA together?"

Phoebe smiled once again, "No. Who said something about me and Q being in UCLA together?"

Rachel shrugged. _No one said. I assumed._

"Anyway, Quinn tutored me when she was a freshman in UCLA. She said she was saving for something big and needed money so she tutored me," Phoebe said as they started to walk towards the exit.

Rachel softened a bit on the inside. Clearly, Quinn did a lot to save money and get to New York.

_I didn't know. Of course, I wouldn't. I never asked._

Before she could stop herself, Rachel asked in not a very nice way, "What are you? High school?" Rachel smirked sarcastically.

This was the mean Rachel Berry. It always comes out when she's jealous of something or someone. Try to ask poor Sunshine Corazon.

Phoebe smiled sadly and said, "I have Dyslexia. It's a reading disorder. I get to unconsciously interchange the letters in my mind when I'm reading. I can read but not too well."

Fuck.

_What has happened to me?_

"Oh my God, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," Rachel apologized suddenly coming back to her senses.

"It's okay," Phoebe smiled as they descended the spiral stairs.

"But you... went to college, right?" Rachel asked of curiosity.

"Yes, I did. It's a special school for people who are special... like me," Phoebe said as she sighed.

Rachel can't anymore find the words to say. _Is this what Quinn talked about when she said Phoebe was special. Is she special in this way and not the special I assumed it to be?_

"As for your question earlier, Q and I are not... what you think we are," Phoebe said with her eyes saying something sad.

"Do you like her?" Rachel finally had the courage to ask.

"I do," Phoebe said without single hesitance. "I mean, who wouldn't like someone like Quinn? Ask everyone in the production, they're quite star struck with her," Phoebe finished as both of them smiled.

Before Rachel could agree, Phoebe continued, "I'm just sorta sure that Q and I could not have a relationship more that purely platonic. I think she sees me as her sister but that's okay with me. I care about her and I know she's still healing from a major blow she had in the past. But if ever she'd be willing to fall in love again, I'd gladly take the responsibility and make her happy."

Rachel looked at Phoebe and she saw herself when she was still madly in love with Quinn. Those eyes were her eyes when she promised to love Quinn until they see each other again. Those were the eyes that Rachel's been hiding for the longest while.

"I hope its okay with you that I am hanging a lot around your publicist lately," Phoebe said reaching out for Rachel's nod.

_No, of course it's not okay._

She was about to lie to Phoebe when her phone buzzed.

Saved the bell.

She smiled at Phoebe before turning to her phone and opened the text she got. It was Brittany.

_**911. Q & S in a bad accident. 10th St corner 5th Ave. I'm OTW.**_

Rachel's heart started to race. It was as if her body took over her, she ran out of the theatre without saying anything to Phoebe.

o-o-o-o-o-o

The art of calling a cab in New York was something Rachel perfected over the years. She got out of the theatre and got into a cab in a matter of seconds and there she was chasing something she wasn't sure about.

"10th street. Take 5th Ave," Rachel told the cab driver. Her mind is completely off this. Her mind is giving her unpleasant images of Quinn being in a car accident and...

No, Rachel had to stop thinking about this. _They're safe._

Rachel's hands were starting to shake and she didn't realize her tears were running down her cheeks already.

_Quinn can't be..._

For goodness sake, it only takes less than 10 minutes to get to Greenwich Village where Quinn and Santana lived. Rachel knew that New York is probably the most notorious driving place on Earth but it was almost impossible to get into a bad accident driving from Broadway to The Village.

Yet, there it was. Santana and Quinn in an accident Rachel isn't sure how bad. But unless it's really bad, Brittany never used the word "bad". This alone made Rachel feel scared.

"Can't we go any faster?" Rachel's voice trembled.

_Seriously, New York? You're gonna hit me with traffic at this time?_ Rachel screamed in her mind.

Damn. She was scared to death!

This is the first time in her life that she got this scared. She was so scared that a minute of driving seemed too long for her.

With her fidgeting hand, she tried to do what was best to do at the moment.

She dialed Quinn's number but it appeared as though the blonde's phone was turned off. She tried calling Santana but she didn't the Latina didn't pick up.

_Quinn…_

She can't lose Quinn.

Not again.

Just the thought of losing Quinn _forever_ made Rachel's heart break into tiny pieces. She can't afford that. She will never survive that.

It was in 12th Street that the cab came to a stop because of heavy traffic. It's late in the evening and it was still this busy in New York.

"There's been a terrible accident in the 10th. They had to close the right side. People are taking shortcuts anywhere," the cab driver tried to explain to Rachel who was obviously in distraught.

The word "terrible" did it.

She dug for her purse and took out a bill she didn't know how much, tossed it to the driver and jumped out of the cab.

She couldn't wait anymore.

It's only two streets, she certainly could manage.

There she is _the_ Rachel Berry running for her life.

Yes. Her life.

Quinn was Rachel's life.

_Yes, she's admitting it._

Heck, it was cold but Rachel felt numb. She can only feel her body tense at the sound of ambulance that slowly nears as she approached 10th Street.

Fuck.

Never did Rachel Berry felt this scared in her life.

How can she tell Quinn that she got the lead part in Quinn's favorite musical? Rachel will never be able to let Quinn know that she will play Kim in Miss Saigon this winter. How can she show Quinn her own rendition of "Sun and Moon"? How can she tell Quinn that she also got the lead part in the Broadway adaptation of Quinn's favorite book? Quinn will never know that she gets to play Dorothy when Wizard of Oz hits Broadway come Fall next year.

She was waiting to tell Quinn about this. If there was one person who will be really proud of her for all of this, it would be Quinn. And if there was one person in Rachel's life that she would dedicated "Sun and Moon" to, it would be Quinn.

She was the moon and Quinn was her sunlight.

And now, she's on the verge of losing the only reason she still shines.

How can she tell Quinn how much she missed her? How can she tell Quinn how much she regret pushing her away that night and how she never stopped hoping that she would come back?

How can she tell Quinn that she cried almost every other night because it hurt so bad not being with Quinn and knowing that she hurt Quinn so much made Rachel hate herself for the longest while?

How can she tell Quinn that she never stopped thinking about her since she landed in New York for Julliard? How can she tell Quinn that she kept the shoes the blonde gave her when they celebrated New Year at the Berry's in senior year? How can she let Quinn know that she used those shoes in every opening night in Broadway because just wearing those shoes kept Quinn with her and made her feel as if everything will be alright?

How can she tell Quinn that she checked Quinn's Facebook account every now and then when Brittany left her account open?

And how can she tell Quinn that she never stopped loving her all these years?

How can she tell Quinn that she'd give anything just to take it all back to the day Quinn stepped in front of her New York apartment? Rachel would change everything just to have Quinn back. _Everything._

Rachel's tears fell more rapidly. She loved Quinn more than anything else in the world. She loved her too much that she became so scared of screwing it up. But she regretted it, all of it.

No, Rachel wasn't jealous of Phoebe. Maybe at some point Rachel thought she was but she realized just now that she wasn't. In fact, she didn't care about Phoebe. She saw Quinn smiling, laughing and having a good time. Seeing Quinn happy with Phoebe hurt Rachel because the diva could admit that the last time she saw Quinn that happy was when _they _were still together:_ Rachel with Quinn, Quinn with Rachel._

She realized she missed Quinn but not as much as she missed herself – the Rachel with Quinn. The Rachel that once thought everything will be fine even if she didn't make it to Broadway because she has that one thing that others spend a lifetime searching for. She had her.

And she's realizing all of it right now, at this very moment. She didn't know if it was too late to realize but Rachel recognized the truth she always knew.

_She loves Quinn, always have, and always will._

She's got everything she thought she wanted in her life. A career, an Upper East Side apartment, huge upcoming projects, a probable Tony Award but all of this seemed nothing without Quinn.

_God!_ _Take this all away from me just give me Quinn back._

Rachel was dead nervous, she can't breathe but not because of the running but because of the feeling of anxiousness she can't control.

Her tears only fell more rapidly and her body only froze at the sight that unfolded in front of her when she turned right to 10th Street after running the rest of what was left on 5th Ave from the 12th.

The 10th Street Road between 5th Ave and University Place was closed and was guarded on both ends by NYPD Emergency Services Unit.

Looking as devastated as she was, the police officer didn't bother to ask if she knew someone involved in the accident. It was obvious because aside from the tears she had in her eyes, her eyes were searching.

Rachel can't even start to believe though it stood right there. The scene was devastatingly hard on the eyes but she can't help but to search the place with her eyes. Her eyes searched for that particular blonde that meant her entire life to Rachel.

She hoped that she would come running to her, hug her and tell her that she's safe.

But as of the moment, it hasn't happened. The only things that Rachel saw were four vehicles horribly tangled to each other and another total wrecked cab being towed away from the accident scene.

The cab being towed was so wrecked; Rachel thought no one would have survived being inside it when the accident happened. It seemed to have hit a huge lamp post which was also torn down just a few meters away from the four tangled cars.

Rachel didn't know what to feel anymore. She fastened her pace and once she passed by the four other cars, she saw families and friends of people involved in the accident seemingly relieved.

Rachel looked at them assuming their loved ones survived the accident.

She went deeper into the road and just as she heard another ambulance start to leave the area, she saw Santana.

It was undoubtedly Santana. She was sitting on the gutter with her hands covering her face. Santana looked awfully disturbed even just based on how her body rested.

Just when Rachel thought her heart can't beat any faster, she looked around elsewhere near Santana but there's no sign of Quinn.

She looked back at Santana and there she noticed Santana's bruised arms. Her wounds were slightly bleeding and her right arm just looked swollen.

Before she could walk close enough to Santana, a running Brittany passed by her as the blonde sat beside Santana and quickly wrapped her in her arms.

"San!" Brittany said as tears suddenly fell from her eyes.

Rachel swore she never saw that look of worry in Brittany's eyes before.

Santana's body leaned weakly on Brittany's arms as the Latina started to sob. Her hands were still covering her face as her whole body trembled.

"Santana," Rachel said silently struggling to breathe.

_Quinn is still not here._

"I was so... scared," Santana said in between sobs.

This even scared Rachel more. The Latina never admitted that she was scared or anything like that. But she knew because of Brittany's stories that car accidents always terrify the Latina.

"Sssssh," Brittany tried to calm Santana as she held her tighter.

Rachel's tears were back in the scene.

"Where's Quinn?" Brittany asked almost whispering to the Latina.

Rachel wanted to run. Rachel wanted to cover her ears with both of her hands. She didn't want to hear that it all ends here.

She didn't want to hear that she'd lost Quinn.

Santana didn't answer, she just sobbed even more. Rachel's body felt weak at the sound of the sobbing Latina in front of her. Brittany pulled away from Santana as she removed the Latina's hands from her face until their eyes met.

"Be strong, Lopez," Brittany said as she tried to maintain eye contact with the quivering Santana. "Now tell me, where's Q?" Brittany said obviously trying to be strong as well.

Santana shook her head.

And there, Rachel lost it.

She dropped on her knees and even without a sob, her tears fell continuously.

Rachel can't feel anything. Her body felt numb at the thought of losing Quinn without even trying to fight for her.

She hated herself for not even trying to fight for her before but she'd probably hate herself more if she lost her this way.

She can't absorb anything. She just looked at Santana as her tears fell even more.

_I lost Quinn. I lost her. Forever._

"What the hell Berry?" Santana said looking at the now kneeling Rachel.

The Santana that was all weak and vulnerable earlier was now replaced by the original tough and furious Santana.

_Is she serious? Is she still gonna put this on me? Don't I have the right to cry for Quinn?_

"Quinn is..." Rachel struggled with her words.

"The fuck, Berry? I didn't say she died," Santana said in obvious anger.

"But you..." Rachel didn't know what to feel anymore. Is this Santana telling her that Quinn is safe? Quinn could be alive, she still could have a chance of seeing the blonde again but where is she?

"I fucking shook my head. It means I don't know where she is," the Latina said again shaking her head. "Stop watching those freaking dramas on TV. It's not helping you," Santana finished.

"But where..." can't Rachel Berry finish her sentences now?

"I said I don't know, okay? They took her," Santana said now speaking calmly. Brittany stood up and took Santana by the hand.

"Her wounds need to be checked. I'm taking her to the paramedics," the dancer said.

Rachel's senses calmed a bit. The thoughts of Quinn still being alive relieved her big time.

Before they started to walk towards a nearby ambulance, Brittany smiled at Rachel as though she caught a glimpse of light behind the diva.

Brittany shook her head as Santana rolled her eyes. They both started to walk towards the medics with Brittany guiding the limping Santana.

"Rachel."

A voice called her name and Rachel knew that voice.

Rachel's tears started to fall again hearing the voice she never thought she'd hear again. Her hands now shook even more. And her heart raced to ends of the Earth.

She didn't want to turn around and realize she was wrong. She needed to hear it again, she needed to make sure.

"Rach."

It was as if the owner of the voice knew what was going on in Rachel's mind. When she called her name again, Rachel's body froze.

That voice haunted Rachel for years.

She longed for that voice through the years she spend alone and hearing it this time, things could not get any better for her.

She turned around to face the music and there - Rachel's life unfolded in front of her.

There stood the life she let go a few years back.

There stood the life she wants back so bad.

There stood the blonde that means everything to Rachel.

How did Rachel let this come this far?

They looked into each other's eyes and Rachel wondered how she survived without those eyes looking back at her.

There stood Quinn.

There stood Rachel's second chance.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm a huge fan of Miss Saigon and I just spent the whole time listening to "Sun and Moon" and imagining it was Lea Michele singing. LOL. She could totally bring it.<br>**_

_**And I must say, I always love Rachel when she's assuming and over reacting. LOL. I still love Santana here.**_

_**Hmmmm.. Im not sure if that was a cliffhanger of what. I just needed to cut it. HAHA  
><strong>_

_**For the next chapter: A little continuation of the accident scene and a spark of the PezBerry friendship.**_


	29. Chapter 29: What It Takes

**Author's Note: I'm truly sorry about the delay of this update. Gaaaad. Writer's block. I'm sorry for being such a mood writer. But anyway, THANK YOU! Thank you all for the amazing reviews for the previous chapter. Gaaad. I really didn't expect it.**

**So, here's another_ loooooong_ chapter.**

* * *

><p>Rachel didn't care about anything anymore.<p>

The moment she saw Quinn standing a few meters away with that small smile in her face was the moment Rachel got completely convinced that she needed Quinn in her life.

Her heart began skipping a beat. It was beating faster like the way it used to beat whenever she saw Quinn in senior year. In fact, it was beating faster - way faster.

Her senses weren't functioning anymore. Her entire being could only hear her heart screaming out loud. It was screaming feelings she kept hidden for so long.

It was screaming for Quinn's name.

She ran towards Quinn.

She ran towards her without a single hesitation in mind. And for the first time in Rachel Berry's life, she didn't think about her career. Damn! She didn't think about anything but the blonde she nearly lost forever.

Once close enough, she pulled Quinn into a hug.

She hugged Quinn because it was what her whole body told her. It was what her heart told her and even her mind agreed. She needed to feel Quinn. She needed to feel that she was still there - that she didn't lose her.

Rachel started to sob as she buried her face on Quinn's shoulder.

"I thought I lost you," were the only words that Rachel managed to utter.

Quinn shook her head, "No. You didn't Rach."

The blonde then wrapped her arms around Rachel and hugged the sobbing brunette back.

Rachel felt Quinn's arms around her and suddenly, the world seemed different. Suddenly, Rachel felt as if she didn't need anything else but this.

Everything could disappear and yet, Rachel wouldn't even notice. Hell, Rachel wouldn't even care.

Quinn was there. It's all that mattered.

A full minute passed when Quinn spoke, "Rach, you can let go of me now."

Rachel didn't see Quinn's face when she said that but Rachel knew she was teasing.

Still hugging Quinn, Rachel said "Only if you promise me one thing."

"Depends," Quinn said silently.

"Don't ever scare me like that again."

Silence.

When no reply came from the blonde, Rachel knew she had to say it.

"I don't wanna lose you, Quinn," said Rachel with all the courage she had in her. She didn't stop to think of what Quinn might think of it.

She didn't stop to think about future consequences of what she said. She didn't stop to think of how it could change things.

She just had to say it.

So long she had let herself think before she acted on her feelings and it didn't make her happy.

Just this once she had to say it - the truth.

She didn't wanna lose Quinn. Not again.

"I'll try," the blonde silently said. Quinn finally initiated the breaking of the hug. Rachel complied with it and as she pulled away, she looked at Quinn.

Only then did she notice Quinn's slightly bruised forehead.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked Quinn trying to shove the sudden awkward air that seemed to fill the space between them.

"Yeah," Quinn said as she caressed her forehead. "A little bruised but, I've had worse ones in Cheerios practice. It's no big deal," Quinn said as she smiled at Rachel.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Santana covered me. She literally saved my life," Quinn said looking at Brittany and Santana's direction.

Brittany was sitting beside the Latina who was getting quick initial medications for her wounds.

What Quinn said surprised Rachel. She knew Santana was protective with Quinn but little did she think that the Latina would do something like that for her.

Clearly, Rachel thought, winning Quinn back will be just as hard as earning Santana's nod.

_Was she just thinking of trying to win Quinn back?_

Rachel sighed. She decided to worry about that later because if Santana's looks could kill, Rachel Berry will be having her funeral tomorrow.

Just as when Quinn moved to walk towards Santana and Brittany,

Rachel called, "Quinn."

"Yeah?" Quinn said as she stopped and looked at Rachel.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Quinn smiled, "I'm glad you're here."

It was everything that Rachel needed. It was all Quinn needed to say.

Rachel gently grabbed Quinn's hand and clasped it tight as she looked into Quinn's eyes.

_God! Quinn's hands still felt the same… soft, delicate and just by holding it, Rachel felt safe._

_ It still definitely felt the same except that…_

As she initiated the contact, Rachel felt Quinn relax a bit before she saw the change in Quinn's eyes.

Panic was suddenly in those once hopeful eyes. For a brief moment, Rachel cannot understand the look in her eyes but she realized everything when Quinn slowly took her hand away from Rachel's.

The warmth that they've shared suddenly turned into a cold, awkward moment.

When Rachel tried to look Quinn in the eyes, the blonde instantly looked away as she turned her back and started walking towards their two other friends.

And it was when it all sunk into Rachel's mind.

Rachel felt a pinch in her heart. It was a pinch she didn't know how to deal with. Rachel's tears threatened her eyes for the nth time that day.

She saw the Quinn before senior year. It was definitely the Quinn that surrounded herself with walls. It was the Quinn that walked away when things threatened to hurt her.

The Quinn that was walking away from her at that moment was the Quinn that walked away from Finn and Beth. This was the Quinn that the Fabrays threw out of their home and this was the Quinn that Rachel thought she'd changed in senior year.

This wasn't the Quinn she loved. This wasn't the Quinn that had those excited eyes when Rachel saw her in front of her New York apartment a few years back.

Rachel mentally slapped herself for bringing this Quinn back.

This was the look on Quinn's face when she gathered her things to fly back to LA the same night she arrived in New York.

She finally saw it – the Quinn that Santana was talking about. And this is the Quinn that Rachel created when she threw her out that night.

Santana was right. She wasn't any different from Russell and Judy Fabray. She kicked her out when the blonde needed her. She wasn't any better than Finn and Puck – at least they tried to stand by her when she needed them the most.

Rachel's tears fell once more and her heart broke for Quinn. Her heart broke for every moment she spent thinking that Broadway was everything to her when in fact Quinn will always be everything to her.

Her heart broke for every moment she celebrated her achievements alone when all the while she could've taken Quinn with her. She could've just let Quinn love her they way the blonde knew how to love someone.

She could've just let herself be happy with Quinn and maybe it would be different. It probably won't hurt this much if she only listened to Celine Dion when she sang about taking chances.

Rachel didn't know what to do. She stood there completely frozen as she watched Quinn make her way to Brittany and Santana.

Brittany then pulled Quinn into a hug. Quinn silently let the other blonde hug her for a while until Brittany broke the contact and called for Rachel.

"Rach!" Brittany called unexcitedly for the first time in years. Apparently, the accident has hit the always cheerful Brittany Pierce.

Quinn looked at her. Quinn's expression? Blank.

Santana also looked at her. Santana's stare? It was probably softer than it was earlier.

By the looks of the three former Cheerios looking at her, Rachel knew they wanted her there. Quinn may have pulled her hand away from hers but Rachel knew Quinn needs her at that moment though she probably won't show it.

If this was the old Quinn, she definitely won't say anything.

Rachel hated assuming things when it came to Quinn and her emotions but Rachel had to cling to her instincts. Besides, she didn't want to leave Quinn just yet.

She sighed and wiped the tears off her cheeks. She walked towards her three _friends _and smiled at them when she got close enough.

"I'm glad you're okay, too, Santana," Rachel said as she offered Santana a smile.

Santana just shrugged, "Let's go home. I need to read something up. I've got a freaking long exam tomorrow."

"What's it about?" Brittany asked as she helped the Latina up. Brittany's normal tone is back which lightened up the mood a bit for Rachel.

Santana met Rachel's eyes as she slightly limped, "Healing a sickness that just wouldn't leave you alone."

Rachel knew that this was meant for her.

Brittany apparently didn't catch the look Santana gave Rachel. She asked, "Oh, like taking them away for good so they won't hurt anymore?"

Santana smirked as she nodded, "Yes, Brit."

"You're a hero San!" Brittany cheered as Santana and Quinn smiled.

Just as Quinn was about to move between Brittany and Rachel, Santana grabbed Quinn by the wrist then laced her arms around the blonde's, "Stay beside me, Q. I just saved your life; I bet you wouldn't want to get hurt again."

Santana said the fading words of her sentence shooting Rachel a look that triggered the diva. And Rachel knew right there and then…

_She needed to talk to Santana. She had to._

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn tried her best to be sane. She and Santana kept exchanging looks when Brittany and Rachel talked about staying the night at their apartment.

And though Quinn knew that Santana knew why Brittany was doing this, she didn't protest. She didn't protest because first, it would probably hurt Brittany's feelings and second, she just can't handle any more emotional stress.

She even hasn't moved on from the trauma of the accident. She can still recall the feeling that rushed over her when she saw Santana embrace her all of a sudden when the cab twirled around and got sandwiched in between two vehicles and another car hit her side of the cab.

She can still recall how Santana's arms and head hit the window in effort to protect her. Quinn knew the Latina was drunk but at that moment, Santana seemed as if she knew what she was doing.

She hasn't thanked Santana yet.

Santana was so relieved that they're safe but Quinn knew she was always afraid of car accidents because it nearly killed her entire family when she was 11. Soon as the paramedics got hold of them both, Santana refused to take the immediate check up that the medics offered. She needed only one cure and it was Brittany.

Quinn can only smile at the back of her mind when she saw how Santana relaxed soon as Brittany got there. Only Brittany could do that to her. And no matter how brave and strong the Latina was, Quinn knew that Santana never did and would never act tough around Brittany just because… she's Brittany Pierce.

Moreover, Quinn could still feel the butterflies lingering in her stomach when she saw the look on Rachel's face when she turned to face her a few moments ago. She can still feel that certain warmth that washed over her when Rachel wrapped her in her tiny arms.

At that moment, Quinn just wanted to fade away and everything will be alright. She had wanted Rachel to hug her like that for the longest while and that moment seemed just like a dream come true. She must have shut her eyes closed for a second but when she opened her eyes, a certain flinch in her stomach ached.

Butterflies suddenly felt weird and it was as if the butterflies died the moment Rachel took her hand. For a moment, Quinn felt like she missed it all her life but again, feeling Rachel's hand in hers brought unpleasant memories.

A certain hurt attacked Quinn's heart that it literally ached. It ached so bad that Quinn can't even look at Rachel. At that instance, holding Rachel's hand just felt… wrong.

She might have told herself a million times that she's moved on but that weird feeling of mixed pain, anger and excitement told her that maybe, she's not yet done with the healing process.

But she and Santana just can't change it anymore. Rachel was staying the night at their apartment.

Quinn was secretly happy though.

It's confusing but knowing that Rachel was just there, sleeping on the couch made Quinn feel as if she was travelling back in time. Just like senior year in high school, just like when everything was perfect.

She didn't want Rachel too close just _yet_, but she doesn't want her too far.

o-o-o-o-o

They reached Quinn and Santana's apartment without a word from either of the owners. Santana wanted to tell Rachel to go home but she can't because of Brittany and Quinn was just simply contemplating.

It was already one in the morning when they stepped foot in the apartment and Santana didn't need anything else but to rest so she headed straight to her room and slept. Quinn needed her same version of rest, too so after making sure that Rachel got everything she needed - two pillows, a blanket and the comfy couch - Quinn went to her room and despite the things that disturbed her, she fell asleep.

Brittany wanted Rachel to sleep with them in her room but Rachel declined even though Brittany told her that the bed was big enough for the three of them. She told Brittany - once they were alone - that she wanted Quinn to easily find her if ever she needed anything.

After giving Rachel a skeptical look, Brittany decided to leave Rachel alone. But before she went inside her room, she said, "I totally know why you're doing this. The look on your face earlier explained it. But Rach, just so you know, you're skating on thin ice. It's either you risk it and go all the way or just stop right there and don't break the ice more than you already have."

For a while, Rachel dwelled on what Brittany said until she finally latched on. She gave Brittany a nod as the blonde replied with a smile and then disappeared to her room.

Once alone, Rachel found herself thinking about everything that had happened since the day she pushed Quinn away and what progress they've made since Quinn came back to her life a month ago.

Now it's been a month and Rachel realized that no progress have been made since. She'd been playing hide-and-seek with her past and she realized she can't escape it anymore. But even before she could decide on what to _really_ do about it, she fell asleep.

It was by dawn that something woke Rachel up. She usually sleeps like a rock but an indifferent feeling woke her up. When she opened her eyes, she saw Santana standing across the room, staring at her.

She was just standing there, looking at Rachel with a blank expression on her face.

Rachel's heart pounded against her chest, is Santana gonna kill her now? This is probably a good opportunity. The room was rather dim and the only light visible was the light from the kitchen. It didn't really illuminate the room but rather, it gave a slight highlight to Santana's features as she stood across the room.

No, seriously, Santana looked like a serial killer observing her prey as she sleeps.

"San, do you need anything?" Rachel asked as she sat rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. Once getting a clearer picture of Santana, she saw that Santana wasn't holding a knife or a chainsaw, rather, she was holding a half-empty glass of water.

"I would call Brittany if I needed anything," Santana said in a low, husky voice. Santana then slowly walked closer to Rachel still without a change of expression, "What are you up to, Rachel?"

Okay, two weird things happened as Santana spoke of her previous question. First, she sounded impatiently calm (like asking about something though she knew the answer very well). Second, she called Rachel by her first name which was weird in all sorts of angles. And even just in the way Santana said "Rachel", the diva knew she's about to get into a real pep talk with the Latina.

Santana wasn't limping anymore but she walked rather slowly until she was close enough to the couch where Rachel was sitting. "Scoot over," the Latina said and Rachel complied. Santana sat beside her with her features calmer than ever. Rachel felt a little safe as images of the killer version of Santana vanished from her thoughts.

"Morning, San," Rachel tried to ease the growing tension she felt. She knew she needed to talk to Santana but is she having the talk now?

"Morning, Rach," Santana said as she sipped from her glass of water. Rachel knew this.

Fuck. Rachel knew what exactly this is. This is Santana's harmless state, at least physically. And Rachel found this as a perfect chance to talk to Santana. Somehow, though she always wished for Santana to be nice to her, it was scaring her now.

"San," Rachel gulped.

Santana just looked at her with anticipation in her eyes.

"Can we talk... about Quinn?" Rachel asked finally risking it the riskiest way possible.

"Stand up," Santana ordered.

Rachel stood.

"I don't want to see your face, Rach," Santana said so calmly as if it were nice, sweet words.

Rachel swallowed. This the real scary version of Santana; the seriously scary Santana.

"If you want to talk to me, face the wall and spill. Speak softly, too. Q and S are still dreaming," Santana said, still without a change in expression.

Though she didn't fully understand Santana's harsh words, Rachel obeyed. She walked carefully and slowly towards the nearest wall and turned her back from Santana.

She wanted to cry but she'd been crying enough the previous day, so she refused to start this one with tears. She tried to forget the sudden anger she felt towards Santana.

Quinn - or at least the thought of Quinn - was already too much for Rachel to handle and Santana was becoming much of an emotional burden to her. She knew she had to beg for Quinn's forgiveness but why does Santana have to be this hard on her? Why is Santana this hard?

She faced the wall and took a deep breath. Her pride is definitely reaching a new low in front of Santana.

She was pondering on what to say before she heard the Latina's slight chuckle. She wanted to turn and face Santana but she remembered what Santana said earlier.

A few more chuckles and Rachel wasn't able to stop herself anymore. With her back still turned from Santana, the diva asked, "What's so funny?"

Santana coughed a little to stop the growing laughter, "Are you really that desperate to talk to me?"

Rachel sighed. Santana played her.

"That wasn't funny," Rachel said as she tried to keep herself calm from the mounting anger she's feeling.

"Take a seat now, smurf," Santana said as she finished the last of her water.

Rachel obeyed by sitting on the arm of the recliner with her back still turned from Santana.

"Rachel, stop acting all ninnyhammer. It doesn't fit you," Santana said back to her blank expression.

Rachel then dropped herself comfortably on the recliner. She was already facing Santana and she saw the Latina run her left hand over her right arm which was covered with medical plaster.

"How are the arms doing?" Rachel asked with a look of concern.

"Fine. Unfortunately, I can't use it to hit you," Santana said as she smirked.

Rachel smiled hopelessly knowing that Santana is simply being herself. She was able to withstand this attitude in senior year. There's no reason to surrender now.

"Since, you can't hit me, I would certainly like to use this opportunity to talk to you," Rachel said as she straightened up.

"Timing is everything," Santana said as she sighed.

"Santana, I-"

"Just don't get me wrong Berry," Santana said interrupting Rachel. "We're not yet on the same page," Santana said flatly.

"I'm sorry, Santana," Rachel said finally. Rachel felt her heart leap at the apology and her stomach began performing somersaults. She knew Santana _never _forgives but a little spark of hope from Santana's peaceful being at that very moment made Rachel want to try.

Santana looked at Rachel who looked down as if something interesting was happening on her lap.

Rachel continued, "I know it wasn't easy to burden you with the effects of what I did to Quinn but-"

"Careful with your choice of words, Berry. Quinn was never a burden, you are."

Rachel sighed once more.

The diva was about to continue when Santana interrupted her again, "Why Rachel? Why did you do that?"

There it was. The question that lingered for years was finally asked out loud.

There it was. The question that Rachel avoided all the while was finally asked in her face.

There it was. The question that required a reasonable answer now laid in front of her to finally put to rest.

Rachel clenched her fist trying to gather everything.

Why in the first place did she do that? She looked up to Santana. She expected her to have that angry look in her eyes, but she was met with those questioning eyes. Santana never looked at her this way. It wasn't soft, it wasn't endearing but it was comforting. It was comforting in a way that Rachel knew whatever she was about to say next will be taken all in evenly. The look promised her no bloodshed.

Santana needed answers.

And Rachel knew that it was best to address it now because sooner or later, she will be looking into Quinn's questioning eyes.

"Do you remember how you felt when you confessed to Brittany about your feelings; the moment you sang 'Landslide' to her with Ms. Holiday?"

Santana nodded.

"What did it feel like?"

Santana rolled her eyes, "Ms. Pillsbury, is that you? Do you have pamphlets? I badly need one for Rachel Berry who's trying to reverse psychology me."

"Just answer it, Lopez."

They both spoke so silently. In that moment, Rachel wasn't the Rachel that constantly felt as if she was right and Santana wasn't the Santana that always pushed her opinions. They were just Rachel and Santana – two people who cared so much for a certain Quinn Fabray who was probably clueless about the talk.

Santana smiled as she recalled the feeling, "It felt pleasing… to finally feel something and actually get the message across Brittany. She didn't understand a lot of things back then but the hell I care, I just needed to do it. She friggin' needed to know."

Rachel smiled as she recalled as well, "I felt exactly the same when I told Quinn I loved her."

"You didn't answer my question," Santana huffed.

"What did you feel when Brittany asked you to marry her?"

"Happy. Complete. Ecstatic. I could die anytime and I'd die happy. I would've taken you with me if I died that night. Q's life would be so much easier," Santana answered.

The little pointed words that Santana hurled her were something Rachel got accustomed to since their second talk in the hallway. And though she wanted to tell her to stop, Rachel just wouldn't because she knew this was how Santana expressed herself.

"I felt exactly the same, except that I wouldn't want you to die. Anyway, I felt the same when Quinn told me she would be willing to move with me to New York and we will start a life together, get out of college, be successful and maybe become a family someday."

"But then, there was one fucking night that changed everything," Santana said starting to feel uneasy of the anticipation.

"I was scared Santana," Rachel said. "My dreams were all coming true. The dreams that I had since I was young were finally unfolding in front of me. The dreams that I had long wanted to live were just presenting its self to me and I didn't have a choice but to take it."

"Was there a part that said you have to abandon Quinn?" Santana asked with a little bitterness in her tone.

Rachel felt her tears again. It was coming.

"Was that it? You were just scared?" Santana asked again. She was trying her best to control it but Rachel's answers so far were not reasonable enough to calm her.

"Everything was going right, Santana. I just can't afford to mess it up," Rachel said without any other reasons to follow.

Santana threw her hands in the air finally giving up on Rachel.

"I was honestly waiting for something more valid than that. Like a death threat from Russell Fabray or something," Santana said as her teeth gritted in between words.

"You do not know how much all of my dreams meant to me," Rachel defended herself.

Santana shook her head furiously, "I don't know, yes. And crap, I don't even understand how singing on stage can be more important than the only person who can love you in spite of what you are."

_Damn. Looking at it right now, Santana was right._

"You don't… understand…"

"I don't and I never will, Berry," Santana told Rachel whose eyes were already blurry because of tears. "I will never understand your unvarying love for fame. I will never understand it the way you will never… _ever _understand what and how much Quinn suffered when she decided to love you."

Rachel's tears started to stream down her face. Finally, she was going to say it. She was about to admit it, "I was wrong."

There it was. The words that Rachel tried to ignore all this time finally said out loud.

There it was. The truth that Rachel denied to the world and to herself finally escaped her lips.

There it was. The truth that she avoided finally making itself known to life of lie she lived.

"I was blinded by things that I never really needed. But I was young, Santana. I was bound to make mistakes. I was bound to learn. What happened to second chances?"

Santana raised an eyebrow, "Second chances? Have you checked the latest Fabray dictionary? It doesn't exist. Some people are once in a lifetime, Berry. You found one and let it slip away."

"Don't I deserve to be happy, Santana? Don't I deserve to get a second chance? Don't I deserve it because I was simply not ready for the first?"

"And what happened to taking chances?" Santana asked. She was still sitting comfortably but she was raging inside. If it wasn't for sleeping Brittany and Quinn, she would have been yelling at Rachel since they started talking. "Oh, wait. You took a chance but not with Quinn but with Broadway," Santana finished.

"I needed to go for my dreams," Rachel said weakly. She's losing this battle with Santana. No, she's losing this battle with the part of her that was still adamant to admitting that she made the wrong choice.

"It wasn't the worst part, Berry," Santana uttered. "You led her on. You made her believe that she was going for something sure, something certain. Do you even realize that?"

_No. Rachel never realized it until Quinn stepped in front of her New York apartment that night._

"It would have been easier if you just told her to stop loving you, to stop doing everything for you. Because do you know what hurt the most, Berry?"

Rachel shook her head. _She didn't know what hurt Quinn._

Santana sneered and sighed, "She did everything for you to understand that whichever life you choose, she'd be there. She tried to make you understand that she and your dream were never opposite options. She fuckin' starved herself _for a year _to make you feel that and what did you do? You kicked her out of your life in a snap. God damn it! You didn't even let her stay the night. You didn't even ask her if she had her dinner already. You didn't even care that it was late in the evening for someone who travelled six hours via plane just to see you."

_Just the thought of it broke Rachel's heart._

"Damn it, Rachel! Were you that insensitive?" Santana lost it. "You didn't even bother to show a little care just because you were scared? How scared do you think Quinn was when she was alone at midnight in a city she barely knew? Rachel, you treated her like crap. And after all these years, you expect that a single hug from an almost fatal accident would change everything?"

Rachel looked up at Santana. She was crying but she took all Santana's words in because it was the first time someone made it clear to her.

"I saw what you did earlier. The hug, the hand hold. I saw the look on your face and I know you still care about her. That's the reason I was staring at you while you were sleeping and the whole reason why I wasted a few minutes of my life talking to you. We have one thing in common, Berry. We both care for Quinn," Santana said in a breath.

"I don't know and I don't fucking care about how much or to what extent you care for her but save some dignity and tell me you don't believe that it was gonna be _that _easy."

Silence.

_Honestly, Rachel thought everything would be fine and everything would follow after that incident earlier._

Santana tapped her knees in anticipation of Rachel's answer but the diva didn't reply.

"Wow," Santana shook her head in disbelief. Still ambiguous, Santana said, "I can't believe I actually thought you'd change."

Santana stood up and looked down at the sobbing Rachel, "Why did I even listen to Brittany when she said I should give you a chance to defend yourself?"

Rachel only hiccupped.

"You blew it, Rachel. You freaking blew it," Santana said as she moved towards Brittany's room.

"Santana," Rachel said as the Latina halted her steps, "I want her back."

Rachel sobbed loudly at what she just said. She wanted Quinn back so badly. She wanted to put the pieces back together. She wanted to hug her, kiss her and never let her go. She wanted to make up for all the lost times, for all the lost moments. She wanted to finally fight for her.

Rachel wanted to be happy. She wanted to make Quinn happy. Damn! She would do anything to see the blonde smile back at her.

She would give up anything just to be reason for Quinn's smile.

She would give up everything she has right now if it meant getting Quinn back.

She wanted to wake up every morning with Quinn by her side.

She wanted to spend each night watching movies with Quinn.

She wanted to spend the rest of her with the only person who loved her in spite of everything.

She wanted to be with Quinn, her Quinn.

And it hurt so much because she wanted to be with the person she probably can't have anymore.

She blew it.

"Berry, I don't want to meddle with you anymore. My relationship has suffered enough. But don't apologize to me," Santana said meeting Rachel's eyes. "Have you ever apologized to her?" Santana asked completely pulling back Rachel to reality.

_She hasn't. She hasn't even thought about it._

"And if you want her back, word to the wise, I'm not sure that's still possible. But for whatever plan or scheme you have in mind, Berry. I just hope you know that it's gonna take more than a hug, more that a 'sorry' and more than a Taylor Swift song to bring back the Quinn Fabray you shattered," Santana finished.

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: Someone's asking Quinn out and someone's gonna do her best to stop it. Haha. Phoebe vs Rachel Round 3. And did I mention someone's gonna kiss Quinn? LOL.<br>**_


	30. Chapter 30: The Nerve!

**Author's Note: Thank you for all of the nice reviews. Thank you for keeping up with me. Yay! You guys are the best!**

**So here's a new chapter. And yeah, I agree with (I think) almost everyone that it's hard to imagine how Rachel can get Quinn to forgive her. I'm with you guys in this. But don't worry about Ray-Ray, she know what she wants and we all know how Rachel Berry rolls. LOL.**

* * *

><p>Despite everything that had happened yesterday, Rachel, Quinn, Brittany and Santana had to move forward for the next day.<p>

Brittany went to her studio and started a whole new set of choreography while Santana had to convince her professor to let her take the exam some other day because of the accident she endured and her obviously incapable hands and arms. Given Santana's charm around men, the professor gave her a chance to take the exam some other day next week.

Quinn woke up that morning convinced that everything should move on normally; like she didn't nearly give up on Rachel's arms and like she never felt all the hurt back upon Rachel's stare. _Act fine, act okay._

The three others may have decided to act like it was just okay, but Rachel woke up that morning deciding otherwise. She knew something has to change and knowing Rachel Berry – once she knew what she wanted, she'd go for it, all the way.

She woke up that morning without a doubt that she wanted Quinn.

But the day hasn't agreed with Rachel so far. The rehearsal started right away and the only chance she was able to talk to Quinn was when they talked about the day's activities before the rehearsal started.

She was then dragged to the back stage and the whole production started running the scenes with full light and sound effects. The director was strict with time because that just how dress rehearsals were – time pressured and no one can afford mistakes. Everyone was reminded that they had to pretend that it was opening night and the director turned into a monster, like 200 times more of a monster that he was during regular rehearsal.

Rachel was left in the care of the wardrobe team that watched out for her dress changes and her other concerns were directed to the production's immediate staff and production assistants.

Quinn was just left in her usual seat, watching everyone cram including Rachel.

Lunch wasn't even better. Usually, lunch was one hour, but that time, it was cut to half an hour and everyone had to eat the food that the production staff bought. So, everyone ate really quick including the actors and then everyone went back to work mode.

Quinn was just there, sitting calmly and Rachel can see her but the diva wished she was beside her and they talked and laughed and made jokes about the director's shouting.

Everytime Rachel was waiting on cue behind the huge red curtains, she would peek at Quinn and then smile to herself inspired by Quinn's beauty.

Seriously, Quinn's face drives her insane. She remembered how she used to stared at Quinn in Glee and in their classes. She stared at her for most of the day that she learned to memorize Quinn's facial expressions. How she smiles, how her eyes smile, how her forehead crooks when she's confused and how her mouth hangs open when she's surprised.

Rachel smiled to herself everytime she recalled Quinn's expression when she's mad, when she's bitching people and when she's trying not to laugh at Rachel's jokes or when Quinn tries to resist Rachel's wishes.

She looked at Quinn and she remembered how the blonde used to watch her perform in Glee, how those eyes watched her every move and she realized once again that, Quinn was so in love with her. _Was._

The afternoon eventually came and finally, the director called for a 15-minute break. After hearing everyone sigh in relief, Rachel didn't waste any time. She approached Quinn who was – thankfully – alone at that time and sat beside her.

"How are you holding up?" Quinn asked as she turned to Rachel.

Rachel sighed, "Barely."

"He's a monster," Quinn said as she looked at the director who was double checking the set.

"I know, right?" Rachel said. "It's probably the most tiring dress rehearsal I've had ever," Rachel added as she leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder.

Rachel felt the blonde stiff at the contact but she didn't make a move to change. A couple more seconds, she felt Quinn relax as the blonde leaned her head on Rachel's. "You've been amazing," Quinn said softly.

Rachel smiled.

This is what she missed most about Quinn – the way the blonde always knows how to make her feel good during those bad days and how Quinn makes her feel as if everything will be alright.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

She wanted to hear it from Quinn. All these years, she had heard compliments from many people and they felt good to say the least. A lot of people have praised her for all the good performances she had but it felt different when it came from Quinn.

"Yeah," Quinn nodded. "It's like you were meant for that stage," the blonde said as both of them stared at the stage.

Before Rachel could say anything, Phoebe came into picture.

"Quinn!" Phoebe greeted brightly.

Rachel sat up straight acknowledging Phoebe's presence with a smile as Quinn straightened up as well.

Quinn smiled at Phoebe and Rachel saw a completely different Quinn.

"Do you have any engagements tomorrow night?" Phoebe asked.

Quinn was silent for a moment until she shook her head, "Not that I'm aware of."

_Oh, I know what this is. Game on, Phoebe._

"I ran into Jolie today. Do you remember her?"

"Jolie Crawford? The girl from the School of Theater?"

Phoebe nodded.

"She's here in New York?"

"Yeah, and she gave me these," Phoebe said as she took out two pieces of papers that looked like movie tickets. "These are tickets for the opening of the gallery that the New York-based UCLA Alumni association put together," Phoebe said with that huge grin on her face – a grin that already annoyed Rachel at the moment.

"A gallery?" Rachel said interrupting. She knew she didn't have anything to do with these but the diva knew very well what Phoebe was trying to do.

"Yeah, a photo gallery," Phoebe said as she turned to Rachel. "They invited Quinn to join them last year but Quinn was busy," she shared.

Rachel turned to Quinn who has that particular smile on her face, "You did photography?"

Quinn nodded, "I needed to find something to take my mind off… things. So, I turned into photography and loved it actually."

"Oh," Rachel said nodding.

"We should go together," Phoebe said a little too excitedly.

_Oh God, she's too obvious!_

Before Quinn could nod, Rachel did it. Rachel did something she never knew she could, "Quinn, I'm sorry but I'm afraid you can't go."

Both Quinn and Phoebe turned to her. Quinn with a little disappointed look in her eyes and Phoebe with that annoyed expression.

"Do you remember that gathering I told you about?" Rachel asked trying to hide the nervousness she felt.

Quinn shook her head.

_Of course she wouldn't remember. There's no gathering._

"The one with Brittany?" Rachel asked putting on the best face she could. If this _gathering_ would carry on, she was very much aware that only Brittany can help her. So, call it irrational but it's the only way she knew how to do it.

Quinn shook her head once more.

"I can't believe you forgot that!" Rachel said trying her best to act disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I really don't remember anything," Quinn said as she sat back on her chair trying to recall.

"Brittany said she will take us somewhere really cool," Rachel _reminded _her again. Her heart was already beating faster and she knew it wasn't right but she can't put up with the thought that Phoebe was asking Quinn out in the cloak of a photo gallery.

"Oh," Quinn said still not getting the grip of what Rachel was saying. Quinn then looked at Phoebe with apologetic eyes.

"It's okay," Phoebe said with obvious disappointment in her voice as she kept the tickets back to her bag. "We can visit the gallery some other time," she added as she helplessly smiled.

"I'm sorry, Phoebe. It must have slipped my mind," Quinn said. Her eyes were a little sad and Rachel saw it.

Rachel saw the disappointment in Quinn's eyes and she hated herself. Just seeing that look on Quinn brought back memories of senior year. This is the look on Quinn's face when Rachel didn't go for the solo at Regionals. Quinn was so disappointed at her that time. Rachel can only imagine the disappointment that the blonde felt at the moment.

Rachel took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a split second and said, "But…"

Quinn and Phoebe turned to her.

"If you want to go with Phoebe…" Rachel swallowed. This seriously broke her heart, "you can go with her. It's okay."

Silence.

Rachel may not have said it directly but she was afraid she just gave Quinn a choice, her or Phoebe. And Rachel was so damn scared to see Quinn choose Phoebe instead.

It was a little selfish but despite everything, she still wanted Quinn to choose her.

Rachel looked at Phoebe who was looking at Quinn probably waiting for her to make the decision. She had hopeful eyes and now knowing that Phoebe likes Quinn and she could go for her anytime, it scared Rachel.

It scared Rachel more than her rivals in Broadway did. Rachel can't take it anymore. Quinn's silence felt as if she chose Phoebe already but didn't want to say it. She knew it was silly to create a lie to stop Phoebe from taking Quinn out and it was even sillier to expect Quinn to buy the lie but Rachel can't help it – the image of Quinn being with another girl shattered her.

Rachel stood up and tried to give Quinn and Phoebe a small smile, "I'll just tell Brittany to cancel it."

She then slowly made her way towards the stage. Her steps were heavy and didn't feel right. She felt as if walking away from Quinn again just as the opportunity of fighting for her presented itself.

"Rachel!" Quinn called.

Rachel turned to Quinn as she saw the blonde smile at her.

"Tell Brittany it better be good," Quinn smiled once more.

_Quinn chose me._

Rachel can't help but smile. She and Quinn looked each other in the eyes and somehow, she felt connected to those eyes once again.

Those eyes didn't have a stray of loneliness or sadness or hurt. It was sincere and heart-warming. Suddenly, the sadness she felt a while ago disappeared.

"Better get back to rehearsal, Ms. Berry," Quinn said still looking into her eyes.

Rachel nodded smilingly as if she was on cloud 9. She turned and walked towards the stage and there's where it hit her.

_OH MY GOD! I need to tell Brittany! Oh my God, Rachel Berry what were you thinking!_

She quickly took out her phone from her pocket and punched a text for Brittany.

_**911. If Quinn asks you anything, just say you got us into something really cool tomorrow night. I needed to take her out of something. I'll explain later. TTYL.**_

Message sent.

She can't help but shake her head and smile upon realizing what she just did. It felt good though it was unfair to Phoebe and Quinn. She just can't let the competition win without a fight from her. Go ask Mercedes and Kurt about the solos.

o-o-o-o-o

The production went back to full work mode as they rehearsed the next act.

Quinn sat, still on her favorite seat in the theater, as Phoebe sat beside her. She still can't believe that the _gathering _with Brittany slipped her mind. It's very unlikely since she never forgets anything especially when it was about Rachel's schedule, which technically became her schedule as well.

She was convinced that Rachel never really said it before but that look on Rachel's face earlier – when she walked back the stage – was something Quinn can't quite comprehend.

She looked incredibly eager, though she was trying not to show it. Did Rachel want her to come to that _gathering _so badly? She didn't understand.

Or maybe Quinn understands but she wasn't really that ready for the idea that Rachel was trying to rekindle their friendship. _Was Rachel trying to?_

She really wanted to go to that photo gallery with Phoebe. But then, she saw Rachel's face and she saw the face that the diva puts up whenever she doesn't get what she wants. It made Quinn change her mind.

Once again, Rachel Berry got the best of her.

She knew she would have said yes to Phoebe but still, she can't say _no _to Rachel. She just can't – still can't. It was still hard to resist after all these years.

Quinn was in the middle of thinking about Rachel's actions until lines of a familiar song disturbed her thoughts.

_There were nights when the wind was so cold_

She almost didn't notice that Rachel was already up on stage, rehearsing one of her production numbers. And though she knew about it before, Quinn still cannot believe how powerful Rachel sounded as she belted out Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back To Me Now.

_That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window_

_ There were days when the sun was so cruel… That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever_

Quinn just watched Rachel involve herself into the song. Rachel still hasn't changed. When she was up on stage, she feels every song she sings. From the power of her voice to the gestures of her hands and the message in her eyes – Quinn memorized this side of Rachel. And though she couldn't stomach to reminisce, she knew this is one of her favorite things about the diva.

She was observing her too closely when suddenly her eyes met Rachel's as the diva sang the lines that hit her…

_But when you touch me like this and you hold me like that… I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me_

_ When I touch you like this and I hold you like that… It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me_

They held the stare for a couple more seconds and Quinn felt as if a message was being sent towards her. Rachel's eyes were so expressive and her stare was so intense that Quinn suddenly moved to the edge of her seat.

Rachel's voice felt as if it was forcing itself right through Quinn, like they were alone and the words were directed towards her.

_There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light…There were things I'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right... There were nights of endless pleasure it was more than any laws allow…_

The notes got higher and the band played louder.

_Baby… Baby…_

_If I kiss you like this and if you whisper like that… It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me_

_If you want me like this and if you need me like that… It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me_

_ It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me… I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now_

As the long note of the last word lingered inside the theater, tears streamed down Rachel's face and while Rachel's eyes were directed somewhere else, Quinn took the opportunity to run towards the exit.

She wasn't crying but she felt like she was about to. And though she wanted to cry and felt as if it was the best thing to do at the moment, she can't because there was a sudden crunch in her stomach. The pain in her stomach felt so familiar.

Instead of running out the exit, she run towards the nearest restroom and got quickly inside one of the cubicles, she went down on her knees as she faced the toilet bowl and there, there it was again – the Quinn in college sophomore year haunted her.

Quinn threw up everything she had eaten for breakfast and lunch. Her head was dizzy, her heart ached and her stomach wasn't able to take the emotional stress she didn't know she just went through.

And there, as she threw up, she felt her tears fall once more.

It's been a while since she last cried and now, she wasn't even sure why she was crying. Rachel was the only person who can do this to her – stir her emotions and tear the rational out of her. Sometimes, Quinn cannot even understand herself when it came to Rachel.

She continued to sob and when the vomiting was done, she felt a hand soothing her back. She just wished it was Santana because never did she want anyone to see her in this state. She turned to see who it was and there she saw Phoebe kneeling beside her still drawing random patterns on her back in effort to comfort her. She didn't say anything and only gave Quinn an encouraging smile.

Silence took over for a moment until Quinn realized that Phoebe didn't deserve to be involved in the drama she was in with herself.

When Quinn finally smiled, Phoebe wiped the blonde's tears with a handkerchief and once her tears were dried, she took Phoebe's hands, "Sorry for that."

Phoebe shook her head and stood up. She used the hand that Quinn was holding to get her to stand up as well. Quinn complied as they walked out of the cubicle silently. Quinn could still feel hear her hiccups from the sobbing but Phoebe's hand – which was still holding hers – felt so warm and comforting.

"Do you want me to call Santana?" Phoebe asked quietly.

Quinn stared at the floor for a moment and thought about it.

She needed to be strong for herself. She doesn't want Santana to suffer anymore than she already has so Quinn shook her head.

"I'm gonna be fine," Quinn said as she turned to the mirror, finally breaking the contact with Phoebe.

Phoebe turned to the mirror as well and smiled at Quinn. The blonde then fixed her features as she sighed.

"You still look beautiful, Quinn," Phoebe told Quinn as they looked each other in the mirror.

"Thank you," Quinn said with a smile. She shook her head smilingly, "I'm surprised you still think I'm beautiful right after witnessing that."

Phoebe smiled as well, "You look beautiful when you're vulnerable… when you're walls are down."

They both sigh as they turn their backs from the mirror and leaned on the sinks. Quinn played with the handkerchief she was holding as Phoebe looked at her.

"Does the song remind you of anything?"

_No, the person singing it back there reminds me of a lot of things._

Quinn didn't want to talk much about it so she just settled on shaking her head.

"It's Rachel, isn't it?"

This surprised Quinn. She looked at Phoebe and saw her still smiling as if she asked a very innocent question. _Was I that obvious?_

_ It's Rachel, isn't it?_ Quinn asked herself the same question and only heard mind answer with something she tried to deny all the while, _it's Rachel. It's always been her._

She was about to deny it when Phoebe spoke once again, "I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you. Sometimes, it's too much for a star-and-her-publicist kind of look."

Realizing that Phoebe was sure of her assumption, Quinn just looked down at the handkerchief again like she did a while ago and didn't say anything.

Silence then enveloped them until Quinn sensed Phoebe move closer and suddenly she felt Phoebe's lips on her cheek. It lasted there for a second until the brunette pulled away. She looked at Phoebe and though she wanted to question the action, she didn't.

"I like you, Quinn," Phoebe said as their eyes met. "But I can see you're still broken about your past with God-knows-who. I just want you to know that if ever you need someone to try and put you back together, I'm not any Rachel Berry but I'd be willing to," Phoebe said as she smiled.

This is the first time in years that someone - aside from Santana - saw through her defenses. She looked at Phoebe and felt as if it was okay to be weak and vulnerable. She smiled at Phoebe and said, "Thank you, Phoebe."

Phoebe just smiled in reply.

She liked Phoebe. She was beautiful and nice. She was sweet and she's the kind of person you can drag anywhere. Phoebe and Rachel looked the same but they were totally opposites. Phoebe was the type to go with the flow, while Rachel always wanted to go against it.

Quinn knew that if she will ever be with Phoebe, Phoebe will always choose to be with her. And that's the only thing Quinn ever wanted – to be the only choice.

For a moment, it felt good to know that someone was waiting for her – as in really waiting for her.

But again, that spot in her heart ached knowing that it wasn't Rachel.

Just thinking about considering Phoebe for Rachel's original spot in her life made Quinn want to barf again. Not because it was a terrible idea but because it hurt so much.

It still hurt so much.

But just like most days, Quinn tried to push all these thoughts down to her subconscious and just go back to trying to move on. Maybe, she's moved on in the sense that the hope of being with Rachel was already gone. She only needed to move on from Rachel Berry herself – the one who always got the best of Quinn Fabray.

But with what happened earlier, something tells her that maybe, something is yet to change.

o-o-o-o-o

"I can't believe you did that!" Brittany exclaimed as she paced across the living room, frustration was almost too obvious in her tone.

The grueling dress rehearsal was soon over and Rachel rushed home to talk to Brittany about the "plan". It was unfair to drag Brittany into this but she didn't know who to run to and she can't go back anymore, like what the blonde said: better go for it and go all the way or just don't break the ice more than she already did.

"I didn't have a choice," Rachel explained as she sat on the couch looking at the anxious Brittany. "And I'm sorry for dragging you into this," she added.

"That's not the point, Rach," the blonde said as she sighed. "I don't mind being dragged into this or whatever, it's just that-"

"Brit," Rachel interrupted Brittany as she sighed for probably the hundredth time since she and Brittany started talking. "I need to do this. As you know, this is certainly the first time that I had a competition for Quinn's attention. Well, Finn, back then was a competition but it didn't really matter. As I was saying, Phoebe was trying to take Quinn out on a date. And what was I suppose to do? Watch and just let the competition snatch the victory? We both know very well that's not how I work," Rachel said failing to stop the long-sentence-format of her statements.

Brittany stopped pacing and looked at Rachel who was obviously desperate for help.

Rachel sighed – once more – and said, "I know it's too much to ask, but just like those days that I was intoxicated, I need you right now, Brit. And I need you now more than ever."

"Rachel, you're playing with fire," Brittany looked at Rachel will concerned eyes. "You're putting both of your hearts on the line here," Brittany said finally calming down as she saw the sadness in Rachel's face.

Brittany continued, "Don't you think it's unfair not letting Quinn go?"

"I've let her go way back before, Brit. I hurt her a lot as I did to myself."

"But what if she could be happy with Phoebe or with someone else? Are you even aware that you're taking that chance away from Quinn?"

"I don't know, okay?" Rachel said running a little too impatiently. "Brit, if someone asks Santana out, in front of your face, what would you feel?"

"Mad," Brittany answered. "But that would totally be valid because Santana and I are engaged," she finished.

_Pierce – 1, Berry – 0._

"I want Quinn back!" stubborn Rachel unleashed. "Isn't that enough for me to fight for her?"

_Pierce – 1, Berry – 1._

"But is this the right way to do it? Force her? Deceive her by dragging me into this? Not that I mind, it's just that… it's risky business for both of you."

_Pierce – 2, Berry – 1._

Rachel sighed slowly giving up on Brittany, "I just can't stand seeing Quinn with Phoebe knowing that anytime, that girl – who by the way is a lesser version of me – can just date Quinn or something. Quinn and Phoebe just click and I need to make it up to Quinn big time. You see? I don't know how much I need to make it up or how long it's gonna take, but Brit, I'm willing to go far for Quinn. And it's probably not the right way to do it… I just needed to start now. I know what I want and I can't go back."

Brittany smiled at what Rachel said.

_Pierce – 2, Berry – 2._

"I was waiting for you to say that," Brittany said teasingly.

Rachel smiled at the realization, Brittany was just testing her.

And since Rachel passed the test, _Pierce – 2, Berry – 3._

"Did I win?" Rachel asked in anticipation.

"Lucky you, I know a place," Brittany declared and in an instant, Rachel wrapped her arms around Brittany.

"Thank you, Brit! You're the best," Rachel said excitedly.

"Just don't forget it's not a date," Brittany said breaking the hug, "it's a _gathering."_

They shared a laugh until Rachel asked, "What about Santana?"

"I will tell her about this. We tell each other everything. And besides, she needs to come. I don't want to be the third wheel in this _gathering,_" Brittany said as she took her phone out. She was about to call Santana when Rachel stopped her.

"She's gonna kill me," Rachel said now a little nervous.

"She won't but she'll probably bitch you," Brittany said teasingly.

Rachel just looked at her.

"San won't take this one easily but Rach, since you decided to go for this, you have to be prepared for the consequences. And yeah, Santana's totally a part of that," Brittany said as she shrugged.

_Brittany was right._

"But what about you and San? You're gonna fight about this again."

"Don't worry about us, Rach. We get past through almost anything," Brittany said smilingly.

"Have you talked about the wedding yet? I mean… it's still happening, right?"

Brittany smiled, "Of course. I was just threatening her so she can collect herself and act maturely. She needs to be pushed to a certain degree to get her to act the way you want her. I regret doing that though, because if Santana got hurt seriously in that accident, I'm gonna jump off Brooklyn Bridge right away."

Rachel smiled, "I'm happy for you Brittany. She loves you a lot."

"I know," Brittany said as she smiled as well. "Told you… San and I are like Lois and Clark, it will always be us, no matter what."

Rachel smiled and she felt really happy for Santana and Brittany. At the back of her mind, she wondered how this story ends up for her and Quinn.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I used the song "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" by Celine Dion. Haha. Sorry for my very 90s taste in music, when I heard it the other day, I just felt it for this fic. So, I tried to insert the song. (Was that chapter short? I think I got a little too used to writing long chapters, hahaha)<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: The trip that will test Rachel's self-control.**_


	31. Chapter 31: Pretending

**Author's Note: Sorry for the major delay. It's been hard to compose myself to write. Been having bad attacks of writer's block. Sucks big time.**

**But I THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH. For all of those reviews. Thank you for keeping up with me and the emotional aspect of this fic. I hope you still keep up with me. There's a part in this chapter that I nearly cried while writing. LOL. Reviews, please.**

* * *

><p>After fighting all morning long with Brittany, Santana finally decided to come to Brittany's <em>gathering<em>.

"B, I seriously thought we're over this," Santana said as she shook her head in disappointment. Brittany answered from the other line as Santana sighed. "See you later. Love you, too," she finished before hanging up.

She shook her head once more before tossing her phone to the couch. Lucky for Brittany, she didn't have class that day and didn't need to read a lot of things for school the next day.

Just as she sat comfortably on the couch, she took her phone once more and punched a text. No matter how much she tried to stop herself, she can't help but think that this was a bad idea.

_**Berry, I swear in the fucking name of Lima Heights Adjacent, you're gonna see your voodoo doll once again if you screw this up.**_

She typed it all in trying to keep her anger in check. She sent the message to Rachel and then sighed once more. Though she was at rage, she knew she didn't have much to do anymore. Aside from her deal with Brittany about limiting the trespassing in Quinn and Rachel's issues, she remembered this is Rachel they we're talking about. Rachel - the tiny diva who knows just what to do to get what she wants and would never stop until she gets it.

A few years ago, way back in senior year, Santana has given up contesting with this side of Rachel.

She tried to compose herself a little better when she saw Quinn come out of her room in obvious confusion.

"Problem?" Santana asked as she observed Quinn get anxious about something.

"I don't know what to wear tonight," Quinn said as she threw herself on the couch beside Santana.

Santana smiled to herself at Quinn's _big problem_. _Conscious much?_

"Do you know where we're going?" Quinn asked Santana.

Santana just shook her head. She honestly didn't know. Aside from that place she loved in Central Park, she hadn't been much around New York aside from the school grounds of NYU.

Then, an idea crossed her mind.

Since Rachel wanted to play this game, what hurt would it cause if the game just became a little inviting?

"Wear something... nice," Santana said as a mischievous smile spread across her face.

Quinn looked at her.

"I mean, something from your old wardrobe," Santana said, still with the smile she had earlier.

"You don't mean the Cheerios uniform, don't you?"

"Nope," Santana said not taking her eyes off Quinn. "I mean, just be yourself. But please, no heels. If this is Brittany planning this, we know it is something that would deter your girly-ness," she added.

o-o-o-o-o

It was already dark when Brittany called Santana and told her that they should meet at their place. After taking rounds at the bathroom, Quinn and Santana took the 15-minute drive from Greenwich Village to Rachel's apartment in East 95 Street.

It was short and sweet but Quinn can't help but be nervous while she and Santana boarded the elevator. As far as she was concerned, the last time the four of them went out, Rachel broke down and sang a Taylor Swift song in front of a lot people.

And though she wondered what song Rachel will break down into next, she wished that there would be none.

They knocked on the door that Brittany soon opened for them. After the couple threw meaningful looks at each other, they proceeded to the living room and waited for Rachel there.

Rachel, on the other hand, can't help the smile growing on her face. It wasn't a date with Quinn since they have two other friends with them – let alone the fact that dating is the farthest thing on Earth for them - but she felt all giddy about being out of the city for a while with Quinn.

She can't help but remember when she and Quinn drove out of Lima for three hours just because Quinn wanted to take her out for a special date. From Lima, she and Quinn drove all the way to Cincinnati to attend the annual Festival of Lights. It was December that time and she can't forget how happy she felt being with Quinn in the midst of all the lights shows. Lima had its own version of the festival but Cincinnati's was bigger and better. She will never forget that day though, because that day, she felt just how serious Quinn was about her.

When she heard that Santana and Quinn already arrived, she made her way out of her room, and there stood in front of her was Quinn looking as if not five years passed.

Santana, Quinn and Brittany were all leaning on the island in the kitchen indulged in a small talk she assumed was about Mercedes' American Idol stint. She saw Santana in her almost default look - skinny jeans, white tank top, black calf-high boots and red scarf.

Brittany? Well, Brittany was in her default look if you ever consider something default about Brittany's fashion. (Since, she's changing her fashion sense almost every time).

Rachel, on the other hand, went to her go-to look. She wore a blue gingham-check button down shirt (that was teasingly unbuttoned for the first two buttons) with the sleeves folded into three-fourths and a pair of navy-colored short shorts exposing her ever-so firm legs. Of course, she would've wanted to wear heels but something about Brittany's plan made her go for flats.

While the three of them looked as simple as they could be, Quinn was different. Not that she wore something that was too elegant, but Rachel just didn't expect to see Quinn and once again, be stunned.

Quinn wore a white sleeveless, scoop-neck voile dress that featured a notched lapel at the textured cotton overlay. It has a ribbed jersey panel and smocked elastic banding at waist. It ended way above her knees exposing her long and fair legs. Quinn's hair was tidily let down with a clip loosely holding her bangs to the side. She wore a simple pair of black flats… and by this time, Rachel didn't notice she'd been staring at Quinn for quite a while already.

Rachel cannot believe it but Quinn looked exactly like how she looked when the Glee club sang "Keep Holding On", only Quinn right now looked less innocent but still far from too outgoing.

"This is what I was talking about that dress, Q!" Santana said snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. "Someone's drooling already and the night hasn't even started," the Latina smirked and shared a look with Brittany while both Quinn and Rachel tried to look somewhere else to hide the blush that both crept up their cheeks.

It wasn't really big for Quinn though, she chose the dress because, well, among the four of them, she was the one who loved to wear sundresses. And maybe, just maybe, Quinn wanted to show _someone _what they've lost.

If it wasn't for Santana, Rachel would have spent the whole night just staring at Quinn and those... _very tempting_ legs. Quinn's skin... it was so perfect and rosy and... perfect - for lack of better word.

And although Santana insisted that they should leave at that very moment, Rachel was still unable to shake the thoughts of Quinn's aesthetics that distracted her from that point forward.

The four of them walked out of Brittany and Rachel's building and was surprised to see a shiny black H2 Hummer parked just a few feet away. Rachel led them towards the four-wheeler and as they made it beside the Hummer, Rachel handed the keys to Santana.

With wide eyes, Santana accepted the keys and said, "Wow, Berry. Didn't quite expect that."

Really, Rachel was more prepared for this than what the other three gave her credit for.

"My dads gave me this when I graduated from Julliard," Rachel said as she shrugged.

"How come you never used it then?" Santana asked as she climbed up the luxurious H2 Hummer as the other three hinged as well.

Quinn sat in the front passenger seat across Santana as Brittany and Rachel took the back seat. Once all aboard, Rachel answered, "Seriously, San? H2 in the concrete roads of New York?"

Well, Rachel had a point. Santana can't even start to understand why Rachel would want a Hummer in the incredibly and unbelievably traffic roads of New York.

"You know about this, Q?" Santana asked as she started the engine.

Quinn shook her head. She really didn't know about it.

It may seem as if Santana was making such a big deal out the car - she really was - but she didn't really expect Rachel to own a Hummer. An H2 Hummer of all kinds of cars! She could have imagined Rachel owning a Toyota Camry or a Bentley Continental Flying Spur. But a Hummer? _Nah._

"I know about this," Brittany said. "It was just parked safely in the theater. Rachel didn't wanna use them because she was afraid to like crash it somewhere," Brittany said giggling.

Santana and Quinn half-laughed and Rachel knew why, "I'm a bad driver and I hate driving, FYI."

Santana just shook her head as she started driving. Truly, it was weird driving such truck in the streets of New York.

"So, does he have a name?" Santana asked looking at Rachel through the rear-view.

Rachel lowered her head before answering, "Charlie."

A smirk came across Santana and Brittany's face as they subtlety glanced at Quinn who seemed suddenly uneasy at the mention of her infamous high school alter-ego.

Brittany's smile grew larger as she leaned forward and looked over Santana's shoulder, "It's gonna be a loooong night."

Santana smiled at this and nodded.

For the next few minutes, Brittany and Rachel began talking about the nightmares of their careers. They began telling stories about how they hated their directors and cast mates. Most of the stories they told were hilarious especially Brittany's when she told about how even the directors feared her when she was acting angry in front of the production. She occasionally mimicked her speech when she was angry and her three other friends could not believe how other people bought the style she used to appear angry. Brittany and Rachel's exchange of stories earned casual laughs from the archly silent Santana and Quinn.

It was nearly an hour of driving when Brittany began talking about where they were actually going. As they passed along a curved, _very_ narrow road, Brittany said, "This is the infamous Sleepy Hollow Road. People find it hard to pass here because it's too narrow and it's almost a blind curve. You'll never know if there's a car approaching you or something."

Indeed, the road was petite and their vehicle was large which became a lot harder for them. They were already traversing Westchester Country which is one of the most suburban places in New York.

Quinn and Rachel nodded at the trivia as Santana nodded proudly, "I'm so proud of you, Brit. You seem to know a lot about this place. How did you discover this?"

Brittany rolled the window down to feel the fresh breeze of Pocantico Hills, "Me and some of my classmates went here a lot during college."

Rachel did the same and as she peeked outside, she said, "Wow. I've never seen so much trees in my life." The other three smiled at Rachel's amusement at the sight. The roadside was just filled with trees and grass. They passed by houses but each of them were very far from each other.

"I like the country feel of this place," Quinn said as she looked outside.

"Oh, believe me Q, it's gonna get countrier," Brittany said inventing the last word.

In less than an hour, they pulled up in front of a ranch. And as they stepped outside of their Hummer, they saw other pick-up trucks parked elsewhere. Well, they weren't so luxurious. Brittany described them as the trucks that Clark Kent in Smallville would use.

"This is Mr. McConnell's ranch," Brittany said as they started walking inside. "He died a few years back but his son, Kevin continued his tradition the Mezzanotte Banchetto," Brittany said as she pronounced the last two words with an excellent Italian accent.

"It means… midnight banquet," Quinn translated.

Both Santana and Rachel were amused of their friend's knowledge about things.

"Right, Quinn. And yeah, there's like a huge banquet inside. There are loads of foods, I swear! All of them are delicious," Brittany said as excitement became obvious in her eyes.

"Are the foods Italian?" Santana asked.

"No. There's variety, a large one. You won't believe it," she answered.

They walked a couple of feet more until a sight they haven't seen before unfolded in front of them.

There were huts in each and every corner offering food they might have or might not have known before. Some had grill outside their huts, some served raw food, some huts had open kitchen and some were just too plain for beer and nuts. Large tables and chairs were set everywhere. Bright lights highlighted each hut and the place was a little noisy and fun as country songs played everywhere.

Some huts had their own gimmicks and tricks to invite potential customers. Other huts settled for fire dancers. Others offered free tastes. It was a mixture of different cultures and if it wasn't just impossible, they were sure Mike and Tina were somewhere.

It was like a huge amusement park minus the very westernized rides. It was simple, yet, it felt home.

People were all over the place – some are obviously tourists, some are nonetheless locals and others looked like as if they were just messing around. It was exciting and the girls can't help the excitement they felt.

"Wow," Rachel said as she _unconsciously _linked her arms with Quinn's. The latter didn't move or hesitated as she herself was stunned with the sight.

"I don't even know where to start," Santana said also amused with the sight.

"We can start right there, San!" Brittany said pointing to a statue of a man standing a little far from them.

"What's so interesting with a statue?" Santana snapped.

"He's a mime," Brittany revealed.

The other three's eyes grew wide unsure whether to believe Brittany or not. He was standing rock steady and was colored like a golden rock or something. No one of them actually believed he was a mime until he moved as a kid tossed a coin down beside him.

"No way," Santana said finally believing what Brittany said.

"I wonder if Mike can do that," Rachel contemplated.

All four of them just looked at the mime until Brittany sent Rachel a look that told her something.

"San and I are gonna stroll around. You can like go somewhere there," Brittany said as she pointed the other way.

Rachel knew in an instant what Brittany was trying to do – she wanted her to be alone with Quinn. Rachel wasn't ready for this but she wanted this, she had to deal with it.

"There are like tattoo shops, fortune tellers and other cool stuff out there," Brittany said as she dragged Santana towards the opposite of where she pointed Rachel and Quinn. "See you here in an hour," the blonde dancer finished and suddenly, Santana and Brittany got lost in the crowd.

"I guess it's down to the two of us," Quinn said as she smiled.

Rachel smiled, "I guess you're right."

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel and Quinn spent the next few minutes leisurely walking around the place. They're arms were linked to each other and they didn't even notice it. Honestly, they were having such a great time that their fears and hurts were pushed aside and all that mattered was how awesome the place was.

They made quick stops at free tastes that Rachel hated and Quinn just laughed at her when she rambled about how the food tasted. They also watched a fire dance show but eventually got bored so they continued to stroll around the place.

Rachel felt absolutely incredible being this close and comfortable with Quinn once again. If her mind wasn't playing tricks with her, she certainly felt like everything was okay – like she and Quinn were together once again.

Rachel didn't fail to notice Quinn's blush when she gently wiped the stray sauce just beside Quinn's lips when the blonde tried the sushi that had some sort of chili sauce. It was so sweet and so chivalrous that even Rachel felt dreamy deep inside.

Even Rachel didn't notice herself putting a protective arm around Quinn's waist everytime they passed men who were looking somewhat interested. _Those legs. That dress._

A few more minutes and they were talking about Glee, high school, Mr. Schue's vests, Ms. Pillsbury's pamphlets and Coach Beiste's surprising love for pop music.

If there was one thing about that moment between them that they wondered about at the back of their minds – what was it with this ranch that suddenly made it all easy to talk about high school?

Quinn? She was happy. She felt something in her life change. It was as if a light switch was flicked and there she was again circling in that circuit that always led to Rachel Berry. Quinn was so happy that she just wanted this night to last forever.

Oh yes, she was afraid to face things so far but she felt an ounce of courage that night for the first time since Rachel dumped her.

This strength confused her, though. She came to New York determined to move on and now that she's here, in close contact with the same old Rachel she fell in love in high school, she knew the expected would happen: moving on will be tough. But something, somewhere in Quinn's heart said that maybe, just maybe… she didn't care about staying stuck for a while if it felt this good.

Both of them knew there was lot to settle between them, but none of them cared at the very moment. The past can wait but this moment? They just can't afford to let it slip just like the moments they threw away before.

They were still looking around when Rachel noticed that Quinn stopped to look at something. Knowing Quinn _so well, _Rachel knew that whatever Quinn saw was something she really adored. Rachel then followed Quinn's line of sight and she smiled when she realized that Quinn was looking at a huge purple octopus stuffed toy.

She can't control the giggle because she recalled how Quinn wanted to have an octopus as a pet. _Yes, a pet octopus._

She looked at the stuffed octopus once again and learned that it was prize for something. She then saw a sign that said "BEER BOTTOMS UP, GET THE PRIZE DOWN, $1". She looked at Quinn for a matter of second and Quinn was just looking at the octopus like a child secretly wishing her mom would buy her a toy.

Rachel smiled and took a dollar out from her pocket. She dragged Quinn towards the booth and two men smiled at them. Quinn didn't have an idea what was happening until Rachel spoke to one of the men.

"How do I get that octopus?" Rachel said trying hard to stop her own smile.

The man then took out a large beer mug and smiled. "Drink this all down, bottoms up and the octopus is yours, tiny lady," the man wearing a cowboy hat explained.

"No, Rachel. You're not doing that," Quinn said obviously confused at what she should feel – flattered or frustrated? Rachel didn't care. She needed to get that freakin' octopus.

"What beer is it?"

"Six Point Pale Ale," the other man answered as he started filling the mug with a Six Point.

Rachel drew a smug on her face as if bragging about her drinking ability, "Very New York." Rachel then tossed the dollar on the table as she looked at Quinn.

"Better think of a name for the octopus, Quinn," Rachel teased.

Quinn slightly blushed but she frowned playfully at Rachel, "Ms. Berry?"

Rachel laughed, "Don't play the publicist card, Fabray."

Quinn shook her head smilingly, "Seriously, Rach. Let's go."

"I'm serious, Quinn," Rachel said as she turned to the beer mug waiting for her. She took it with both of her hands because it was huge for one of her little hands. Secretly, she wished that Quinn would think about what she just said because Rachel was so damned serious about Quinn.

"Rachel."

"Think of a name, Fabray," Rachel said and without a warning, she started drinking the beer that didn't quite taste good.

Seriously, Rachel hated the taste of warm beer! And the damn beer was far from cold! But she didn't fret because all she wanted was that damned octopus. No! She wanted to see Quinn happy. No! She wanted to make Quinn happy. She wanted to make Quinn smile.

She was in the middle of gulping the beer down her already sore throat when she heard people cheering around her. Through her peripheral vision, she saw Quinn shocked and tensed. She was obviously flabbergasted because her mouth hung open and her eyes grew wide. The more she saw Quinn like that, the easier it got swallowing the liquid that burned her.

Rachel was this close to finishing the entire mug up, when she saw Quinn shake her and smile as she rolled her eyes. She knew Quinn knew she was going to finish it. Her head felt heavy, though but Quinn's smile was worth it.

The diva smiled as she slugged the last drops of the beer and soon as she was done, she raised the glass up and everyone around her cheered, even Quinn. Though she was cheering demurely, Rachel noticed that spark in Quinn's eyes. It was the spark she thought she'd never see again and there, hope warmed Rachel's heart. _Maybe, there's still a bit of chance. Maybe._

The two men owning the booth could not believe their eyes. "Wow! You're one dedicated young woman," the man wearing a cowboy hat said shaking his head.

The other man went to get the stuffed octopus and smiled at Rachel as he handed it to her. "That was cool, it was barely a minute!" he lively said.

Rachel was on high until one of the men pulled her back to Earth, "There's the octopus for your girl."

Both Quinn and Rachel were stunned with the remark. Both of their systems stopped for a split second but recovered eventually. Rachel just smiled, pleased with the comment while Quinn shook her head.

"No, we're not –"

"You ought to be," the man interrupted just as Quinn was about to deny. He continued, "You seem happy with each other."

Rachel's heart started beating faster. Was her love for Quinn that obvious for people to see? People they barely knew?

Quinn felt uneasy but it was good kind of uneasy. She certainly missed someone telling her that she looked happy with someone. The last time someone told her this was way back in high school graduation when Finn approached her to tell her that she looked happy with Rachel and she deserved it.

Both of them smiled as they walked away. Silence covered them for the next five minutes as they tried to recover from the beer, the octopus and the happy-with-each-other scenario.

Feeling responsible for the job, Rachel broke the silence by handing the stuffed octopus to Quinn. "That's for you," she said.

Quinn just smiled and accepted the stuffed toy. She looked at it for a while and then hugged it as they continued to walk back to where they were going to meet Brittany and Santana.

"Thanks, Rach. Honestly, I still can't absorb you're alcoholic side," Quinn teased.

"I don't usually do bottoms up. I'm quite surprised I finished that beer," Rachel said trying to be humble about her newest achievement.

"I didn't quite expect you to do that for me, or rather, this octopus."

Rachel smiled as she tried not to meet Quinn's gaze, "Anything for you, Quinn… everything."

o-o-o-o-o

There were two things that bugged Quinn's mind. First, Rachel was acting weird. Or maybe, she wasn't. Rachel was acting very much like the same old Rachel, the Rachel in high school and the Rachel that Quinn fell for way back then. It scared Quinn, seeing this Rachel. Because the more she saw Rachel like this, the more she was reminded of herself – scared Quinn, vulnerable Quinn and most of all, the Quinn that gave everything for love.

Second, Quinn didn't know if she was confused or in-denial. Rachel was acting _weird _and Quinn shouldn't feel this at all, but she felt good. Though Quinn didn't understand the butterflies in her stomach everytime Rachel put her arm around her waist when men watched them, she liked it – the feeling of Rachel's protectiveness. Though Quinn didn't understand what Dymes (the name they gave the stuffed octopus) meant, Quinn was sure that the purple stuffed octopus was gonna have a spot beside her in her bed at night. It was weird, being around this Rachel because Quinn liked it but it scared her.

And she was tired of being scared.

She simply just wasn't ready.

Quinn was in the middle of her thought-wrestling when she heard Santana say something.

"Oh, Berry! Don't even start with me!" Santana said as she gulped the last of her beer. "We lost Nationals that year because you kissed Finnessa!" she snapped.

It was only then did Quinn realize that the four of them were already sitting at the far end of some open bar that Brittany chose. They just had one of the most amazing dinners of their lives and so, Rachel and Santana decided to consume a beer bucket.

After fighting – like a married couple as how Santana called it – Rachel and Quinn made a deal that Rachel was only limited to two bottles because for goodness sake, Rachel was opening the show of her life the next day.

"I can't believe you're seriously blaming me for that!"

"Oh, yes, I do, Yentl!"

"But I won Nationals for us in senior year!" Rachel proudly said.

"Get over yourself, Berry. Quinn and I sang the last part!"

"I sang the solo!"

"You always sing the solos," Santana said, irritation suddenly obvious in her voice.

Brittany and Quinn just watched Rachel and Santana as they argued about something obviously pointless. But it was then that the argument headed for something deeper, something Quinn wasn't ready to hear.

"As most of you know, if I want something, I would fight for it," Rachel said matter-of-factly. Maybe it was the alcohol or the bottoms up, or maybe it was Quinn but Rachel wasn't that careful with her words anymore.

"Why don't I believe that?" Santana's voice was suddenly low and serious that even Brittany noticed it.

"Let's go home. It's late," Brittany said trying to stop the potential Quinn-centered conversation.

"No, Brit. The smurf's asking for a rematch," Santana told Brittany who was trying to stop her. The Latina then turned to Rachel, "You're a coward, Rachel. You're the biggest coward I know. You're giving Mr. Schue a run for his money when he was so afraid of telling Ms. Pillsbury about his feelings."

"I am not a coward, Santana!" Rachel said as she slammed her hands on the table.

"San…" Brittany whispered trying to make Santana realize what was happening.

"Oh yeah, now tell Quinn why you didn't fight for her!"

Awkward.

Rachel stood dumbfounded just looking at Santana.

Brittany's eyes instantly grew wide as she looked nervously at Quinn.

But Santana… she just stood there, looking at Rachel straight in eyes, waiting for her to do what she just said.

Quinn? She trembled. This was it. If Rachel would answer this, if Rachel would give in to the challenge that Santana laid, it will be over. Her questions will be put to rest. Her fears will have their reasons.

Her mind searched for the answers. Her rational side wanted to just sit there and wait for Rachel to respond.

But there was something inside her that wanted to stop Rachel from ending her misery.

This pain, this hurt, this fear – all of it, it all summed up to whatever was holding Quinn up at this very moment.

This pain was the only thing she had that held that one moment it time when Quinn Fabray was capable of loving someone. This hurt was the only thing Quinn had that told her that it was possible for someone to love her.

This pain, this misery is the only thing she had that made her believe that Rachel was once real.

This misery that caused her a thousand gallons of tears, the misery that Quinn Fabray is – this particular misery was something Quinn wasn't ready to let go because it is the only proof that once in her life, she became really happy.

Quinn's eyes were slowly betraying her and she was sure that Brittany saw the stray tear that she wiped so quickly. Rachel and Santana didn't see it because they were looking at each other, communicating in stares that only the two of them understood.

"What now?" Santana challenged her once more.

Rachel tentatively looked at Quinn who refused to look at them.

"I…" Rachel started then sighed.

And if she just wasn't trying to be strong all these time, Quinn would've fainted at that moment and maybe, if she wouldn't hear anything tonight, she could still get a grip of herself.

"I didn't-"

"Don't," Quinn muttered. Her voice trembled. She was damned scared to hear it straight from Rachel. She was scared as hell to hear Rachel say that she never regretted anything she did.

Quinn was scared that Rachel would say that the diva didn't really love her, she never did and that Rachel will never get there, ever.

What was she feeling?

Quinn didn't understand so she did what Quinn Fabray used to do – not talk about it because if she doesn't talk about it, it's doesn't exist.

"Please. Don't do this to me," Quinn said again, silently. She stood and she felt three pairs of eyes on her, "It hurts so bad."

That and Quinn's tears streamed but she turned her back ever so quickly just so her three friends won't see.

"Q…" she heard Brittany's voice reaching out.

"I'll wait in the car," Quinn said as she slowly walked away from the three.

She walked away but Rachel's words lingered,_ if I want something, I would fight for it_.

Didn't Rachel ever want her? Didn't she want Quinn enough to accept her that night?

If only Quinn knew.

* * *

><p><em>For the next chapter: Sweet Quinn to Busy Rachel. Sweet Phoebe to Happy Quinn. And boom, Rachel and Phoebe: The Confrontation.<em>


	32. Chapter 32: Get It Right

**Author's Note: OMG. Thank you! Thank you for all the nice reviews. You guys rock! I knooow I can never thank you enough. But still, THANK YOU ALL.**

**So here's another chapter. But the confrontation part wasn't here. I had to cut it off, because I added some few scenes. Other stuff that I said on the previous chapter will be on the chapter after this. I must say, this is yet the longest chapter and this is particularly special to me, especially the last part. I cried. LOL. Hope you love it, too. (I'm kind of in love with my Quinn here. Hahaha) Hoping for reviews from your kind you.  
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* * *

><p>Maybe it was the guilt of pushing Quinn to her limits that woke Santana up early that morning. She was drunk, yes, but she knew what she did. It was the last thing in her mind as far as her conscious self was concerned - never push Quinn to her limits. Santana knew that pushing Quinn to her limits only meant two things: one, push her out of her misery for good or two, push her away forever. Seeing Quinn's reaction last night, Santana knew she was pushing for the latter.<p>

So yeah, there she was waiting for Quinn to finish the coffee she was preparing for the both of them. She and Quinn never really exchanged sorry's before. It was one of the many reasons that their friendship worked: they both hated the word not because it hurt their pride but because they've both been sorry of a lot of things in their life and their friendship was one the things they didn't want to bombard with it anymore. But this time, Santana felt like saying it to her best friend.

She wanted Quinn to know that she was sorry for pushing it. She wanted Quinn to know that she's sorry not for Quinn but for the situation and "sorry, Q for pushing it last night with the midget" was just her way of saying "I love you Q and I want you to move forward already but the damn smurf is trapping you". They're Quinn and Santana. Santana and Quinn. No matter whichever way you put it, they're gonna have each other's back.

Santana had everything in her mind and she was about to start it when Quinn served her coffee and sat across her but Quinn had other things in mind. Of course, her "good morning, San" was Quinn's way of saying "I don't want to talk about it". Remember, they were Quinn and Santana and they've had this type of morning before.

"Good morning, San," Quinn greeted. Her smile was stunning but was totally lying.

"Morning, Q," she replied.

They both sat in silence for a while as they delved onto their respective coffees.

"Where are you and Brit planning to stay after the wedding?" Quinn asked.

"As in really after it? Or just after the wedding?"

"Really after it."

"I've been looking out for apartments around here. Why'd you ask?"

"You can take the apartment. I mean, this is closer to NYU."

"Nah. This is yours. I mean, it's different when we're actually married. The three of us cannot live together anymore. Unless you want to get sleepless nights. You know, the noise..." Santana teased.

"San, don't give me the images. It's gross," Quinn said laughingly. Finally, the awkward air disappeared. "I mean, you can have the apartment by yourselves. I'm sure I can find somewhere else -"

"Q, your mom's paying for this. This apartment is yours. We'll move but I promise it'll be close around here. Can't afford to be away from my best friend. You'll miss me."

"I will," she smiled.

This time, Santana saw it. There was something in Quinn's smile and there was a reason she said "I will" instead of "Of course, I will miss your attitude."

"What's up, Q?"

It was as if a light bulb was switched on. They somehow connected. Years of friendship told Santana that Quinn was about to break some kind of news to her.

"You remember the job offers I had before I accepted Charles'?" Quinn asked. This was it.

"Of course, the endless PR offers from EMI, BMG and Universal, the other one from Fox Film Corporation. I remember all of them. And yeah, there was one that you almost accepted. That one for..." Santana paused for a while trying to remember what it was exactly and at the same time, she tried to decipher the sudden change in Quinn's expression. She continued, "The back-to-back offers from Hayden Panettiere and Nina Dobrev's PR firm."

Quinn nodded in a certain way that told Santana something. She was about to ask when Quinn spoke.

"I talked to Mia today," Quinn said.

"Your ever obnoxious supervisor slash life ruiner."

"Yeah, I... uh... I accepted the offer."

Santana's jaw hit the floor and her eyes grew wide. She didn't see it coming.

_Oh my God._

"Q..."

"You remember Abbey right?"

Santana just nodded because she was too surprised she can't even manage a word. She remembered Abbey, though. She was one of Quinn's very few friends in LA.

"She's working for Hayden and Nina's PR team now. The offer was still up for me so, I grabbed it."

Santana just looked at Quinn. She was hurt. Definitely.

"So, that's why I was telling you to just take the apartment. Mom's paid for half of this already. You can just pay for the rest of-"

"Why?" Santana needed answers.

"Why? What kind of question is that S? You thought it was a good offer."

Quinn was right. She told her before that it was a good offer. Well, it was. They were big stars and they were willing to pay her enough or maybe more than enough, let alone the fact that Nina and Hayden are girls to die for. But it was different then.

"I mean. Why now?"

Again, Santana saw the walls around Quinn. It grew even thicker and taller.

Silence. Santana knew the reason why but she wanted to hear it straight from her best friend.

There were a few times that Santana cried in front of Quinn. Those times were the times that she missed Brittany so much. But other than that, there weren't any other reasons she cried in front of her best friend or anyone else for that matter. She even refused to cry when Quinn left for New York. Santana never cried for Quinn except for that one time two days after Quinn arrived back from New York. That time, it was just too much for Santana to take. She heard Quinn crying for two straight days and wondered if she ever stopped crying inside her room. Santana cried for Quinn a few years back because she was hurt for her best friend. Damn. She might not have showed her enough but she cared a lot about Quinn. She cried that time but Quinn didn't know about it because Santana cried inside the bathroom while she was taking a bath.

But right now, it just hurt so much. She wanted Quinn in her life but fuck Quinn's fate for being so unfair. Somehow, Quinn's destiny had always find ways to send Quinn out of the Latina's life. Maybe not really but in distance as least. Maybe Santana was wrong when she thought that coming to New York would finally change things: that she will marry Brittany, Quinn will move on and then, their friendship will last a lifetime.

There were only a few things in Santana's life that she wanted to last. One was obviously her relationship with Brittany but part of those very few things was her friendship with Quinn. She wanted Quinn in her life because no matter how unsure Santana was about the future of her med career or her marriage with Brittany, it helps to know that there would always be one person she can run to when everything else fails.

And Santana was afraid. She was afraid to not be there when Quinn needed her. She got so used to taking care of her that she found it difficult even just to think about their lives apart.

She took a deep breath. She didn't want to cry. But for the first time in years, she felt vulnerable.

"My contract with Rachel Berry will expire in a month and a half," Quinn said silently.

Santana still can't believe it maybe because there was finality in the way Quinn said it. Or maybe she didn't want to believe that here Quinn was again saving herself from the black hole that was Rachel Berry.

"I'm sure Charles would want to extend that contract like for a year or two," Santana said trying to convince herself that there was still a way to tell her to stay without actually saying it.

Quinn smiled almost sadly, "Yeah, he talked to me about it a few days back. He wanted me to work for Rachel 'til next year but just recently I decided that the long standing offer was good."

"By recently, you mean last night? Or just this morning?" Santana asked, no, she suspected. The slight venom in her voice was suddenly present and it was because she was hurt and angry.

Quinn sighed but said nothing.

"Really, Quinn? Is this how we're gonna play it?" Santana asked once again. Her voice trembled. She was about to cry.

Quinn closed her eyes and sighed trying to compose herself. When she opened her eyes, she did what Santana expected her to - avoid the conversation. "I need to get going, I need to get to the theater as early as possible," Quinn said as she stood and attempted to walk away.

Santana's eyes were already blurry with tears so she looked up the ceiling as if it would push the tears back. She sighed loudly as she gathered the strength to say something she never told anyone, not even to Brittany when she first said goodbye.

"Stay, Quinn... please," Santana uttered still looking up the ceiling with unshed tears. Quinn stopped from walking towards her room but didn't turn to look at Santana.

Honestly, if Santana only wanted it, she could just move back to LA with Brittany and Quinn and be done with all the drama. The three of them will live near each other and then, they'd live happily ever after. But it wasn't the case. She already transferred to NYU and the paper works she had to go through was as exhausting as studying Medicine. Aside from not wanting to go through that process again, Santana had actually come to like NYU. And it's not like she can just force Brittany to move to LA when the dancer's job was right here in New York. Though Santana knew Brittany wouldn't mind, she just didn't want to put Brittany in that situation where she would force her make a choice.

However, she knew there was no stopping Quinn. She felt it. The finality in the way Quinn said it. Saying "I accepted the offer" was their code for "I'm done with this shit". Santana saw this before, this side of Quinn that was just too tired of being hurt.

"I'm sure I can visit you guys every once in a while," Quinn almost whispered. "Or maybe you can-"

Quinn's speech was interrupted when Santana slammed her hands against the table. The Latina then grabbed her coat that was just resting on the couch and walked passed Quinn towards the door. But before she was able to walk out of the apartment and despite her fear that Quinn would notice her trembling voice, Santana said lowly, "Q, there are other people in your life that needs you. And you're not giving us enough room in your life."

That and Santana made her way out slamming the wooden door behind her.

o-o-o-o-o

If it wasn't for Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time, Quinn would have gone back to sleep. She, herself, was also surprised of her actions _recently_. When Mia called her that morning asking about the offer, she said yes. Okay, so Mia never stopped asking her about the offer. But she refused to accept it before because she knew she wanted to work for Rachel. It was until last night that finally, she decided that she will never get over her and since it wasn't helping her, she had to move forward in one way or another.

But she still had a month a half to bear with Rachel. A lot can still happen within that span of time so, Quinn thought she still had one battle left to win.

By the time she arrived at the theater, she saw Rachel with the show's musical director. She was warming up her voice and was asking final questions about her performance. Quinn then headed straight to Rachel's dressing room.

One of the requirements of being Rachel's publicist was to face the media before and after the show. To a certain degree, Quinn was nervous. It was her first real project under Rachel. She wasn't all shit scared, she was just a little nervous. First, it was the first real test of her PR skills and second, this is the first time she'd be able to watch Rachel perform on Broadway.

She didn't know how she felt about second reason, but she was excited to see what Rachel exchanged for her. And maybe, before she went and start all over again, she'd be convinced that it was worth her pain.

Quinn didn't notice that she was staring at the beige dress that Charles bough for her. She stood there just lost in her thoughts, when a voice spoke.

"That's a nice dress."

It was Rachel. Quinn turned to her and saw the diva smiling at her. She smiled as well.

"You nervous?" Rachel asked as she sat on the small couch at the corner of the room.

"I should be the one asking you that," Quinn said as she started cleaning up the mess on top of Rachel's vanity.

"I'm quite nervous. But you know me, nerves are only for backstage. Up there, I'm pretty much confident," the diva said matter-of-factly.

"I'm surprised you're not taking this seriously considering a Tony is at stake," Quinn said as she finished counting the number of costumes on Rachel's dress rack. Upon assuring that it was all complete she sat next to Rachel as she opened her iPad and started typing something.

Because she was busy, Quinn didn't notice that Rachel's been watching her.

"Maybe, it's not just about the Tony anymore," Rachel said softly.

She may have missed Rachel's stare but she didn't miss that particular softness in her voice. If this happened a few years back, she would have hugged her or maybe kissed her because she was so soft and vulnerable. But this time, Quinn refused to give in and just focused on typing Rachel's press release for the day.

A full minute of silence passed when Quinn felt Rachel's head on her shoulder.

"This is the first time that you'd see me on Broadway," Rachel said silently.

Quinn nodded.

"Are you happy for me?"

"You have no idea," Quinn said as she stopped typing and just gazed somewhere else.

"I'm happy, too."

"I know. A Tony nomination, finally."

"I'm happy because you're here."

Rachel spoke so softly and quietly that Quinn almost felt her words getting inside her.

_Hold it, Fabray. Hold it a little longer. One month and a half._

"Quinn, this is it. The scene we've pictured a long time ago: me, in a Broadway stage…"

"And me, watching you from the audience, proudly clapping for you."

"It seemed so impossible back then."

"I told you it was bound to happen: you, in a Broadway stage."

"Yeah, you told me. That's why I kept believing."

They spoke the words slowly and softly as if they were in high school again, dreaming things.

"I'm proud of you, Rachel."

Rachel tried her best to control the urge of hugging Quinn right there. If she could, she would stop the clock and just stay right there. Who cares about a damn Broadway show if she could stay here beside Quinn and again go back to the days she was just dreaming about a life she thought was so perfect.

"Thank you, Quinn."

She felt Quinn smile.

"Thank you for sending me on my way," Rachel meant it. Quinn was the reason she was here. Quinn was the reason why she had wanted to be here.

"You were bound for greatness, Rachel."

"It's easier to believe it when you're the one saying it."

"I'd say it a million times and never get tired."

It confused them both. How could they stand to be this close each other and not feel hurt or anything of the likes? Instead of hurting each other like they did the past few weeks, they were here exchanging gratitude, not to mention closely and comfortably.

"I better get moving, though," Quinn said as she stood and smiled at Rachel.

It was when she stood that she saw Rachel's shoes. It's been a while since she saw that dark blue flats she bought for Rachel in senior year. It was simple and it may look like some other shoe but Quinn felt that these were the same shoes.

She stared at it trying to really recognize until Rachel noticed her looking at it.

"I kept it, you know," Rachel confirmed. "I always wear it on big nights. It's the only thing I have of you," she said smilingly.

Again, the words were soft but clear. The words were short and sincere.

"I see."

"I fired my assistant who almost lost this," Rachel shared laughingly.

Quinn almost laughed. "Bad, Rachel."

"Call me evil, then. I wouldn't let anyone just throw away the only thing that reminded me that once in my life, I had you."

Quinn swallowed.

Why was Rachel saying these things?

What was she trying to do?

What was she trying to say?

Quinn didn't understand what she felt anymore. This was Rachel, exposing her feelings. Isn't this what Quinn wanted?

"Well," Quinn sighed again composing herself. "I should get going before you continue bringing back unnecessary memories," Quinn said failing to stop the words and the sound of bitterness that came with it.

Now, it was Rachel's turn to wonder.

She had been trying to send Quinn a message. She was slowly telling her that she wants to see Quinn in the next big shows of her career. She was little by little telling her that she wanted another chance.

But what did Quinn mean by "unnecessary"? Was it the pain that came with it? Or was it the good memories? Or was it Rachel herself? Did it hurt Quinn so bad that the one thing Rachel valued the most about her past was just unnecessary to the blonde?

_Unnecessary_, was that all it was to Quinn now?

Before she could ask her, Quinn was already out of the dressing room. And Rachel could only sigh in mixed frustration and sadness.

_Unnecessary_, was that all she is to Quinn now?

o-o-o-o-o

For Rachel, the final two hours before a show opens was the most critical part of the production. It was crazy and busy and scary at the same time. People were all over the place final inspecting everything.

Usually, Rachel was one of the calmer people. As what most people know about her, she's almost incapable of being terribly nervous. But this was different than all the other productions she'd been in. Three of the biggest playwrights in the contemporary history of Broadway collaborated to make a material out of Lilibeth. Two of the best Broadway directors worked for this production and disregarded their vast history of rivalry. The most-sought after musical director in the country also invested for this production and wrote and composed most of the songs that Rachel would be singing.

Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time was on just on the verge of its debut but everyone already knew that this will soon hit the levels of "Funny Girl", "Wicked" and "Cats". And here she was, loser turned Glee club captain turned Julliard star turned Broadway starlet turned Broadway star Rachel Berry to shine on this year's biggest Broadway musical. It was weird - how her titles changed drastically over time. But in just a few hours, the titles could just change from "future Broadway Hall of Famer" to "the biggest Broadway flop". Yeah, it was make or break.

She was nervous, as hell. But there was one thing about this production that kept Rachel sane - it was her publicist. Period.

"Oh, God, Megan! Kill me now!" Rachel groaned. Megan, who was sitting comfortably on the couch just smiled.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Rachel, relax," Megan said.

It was when Rachel noticed that her hair stylist Darcy was already working on her hair. Had she spaced out that long? She smiled at Darcy and the redhead woman who was probably on her late 20s just gave her a smile of encouragement. Darcy had been Rachel's hair stylist since she started in Julliard (yes, at that early point in her career, she already had a personal hair stylist). Rachel then noticed her makeup artist Clare getting something from her huge makeup kit. She smiled at her and just like Darcy, the brunette who also looked like in her late 20s just replied with a small smile.

"Why's everyone acting like this isn't a potential Tony nomination for me?" Rachel asked.

Megan just smiled and shook her head, "It's because we know that you can pull that show off."

Rachel smiled.

"Darcy, I can still see that undone strand of hair from here," Megan called Darcy's attention as she raised an eyebrow. Megan was a perfectionist; Rachel knew that that's why she hired her as her stylist.

A knock on the door interrupted the potential rambling from Megan. When Clare opened the door, it revealed Rob, one of the show's immediate staff. He was holding a bouquet of pink roses. It was neatly arranged on a petite transparent vase and was topped with other small flowers in shades of pink that Rachel didn't recognize.

"Flowers for Ms. Berry," Rob said.

Upon seeing delivery for her, Rachel's eyes sparkled.

"Really?" Rachel asked amused as she approached and held the present. Rachel felt incredibly happy and she was sure she blushed. She was even sure that her happiness was that transparent because she almost felt the three other women smile at her amusement.

"Must be your lucky day," Megan said as she cleared the coffee table and motioned for Rachel to put the flowers there.

Rachel was excited to see the card that rested on top of it. She wanted to know who it was from. Aside from Brittany's occasional tulips and daisies, no one had ever given Rachel good-luck-flowers. It was one of the things she wished: that someone would care enough to send her flowers before a show. For a fraction of second, Rachel felt sorry about her life, because for the time she had spent in Broadway, this was only the first time she received something like this. Not that she didn't appreciate Brittany's efforts, she just wished someone had cared enough for her aside from Brittany.

When she opened the card, Rachel's eyes welled in an instant.

_Break a leg, superstar. I believe in you._

- Quinn :P

It was Quinn.

After all these years, it was still Quinn who knew what she wanted. It was still Quinn who treated her the way she had always wanted to be treated. After all that had happened, it was still Quinn who made her felt loved and cared for.

After everything she'd done and haven't done, it was still Quinn who made her complete.

She closed her eyes and held the note close to her heart like her life depended on it. She realized that if she was just brave enough that night, she would have felt this happy a long time ago.

And then Rachel decided at that very moment, that when that show started, the rest of the world wouldn't matter to her. Every line, every song, every emotion and every single future outcome of this show will be dedicated to the one person in Rachel's life that she wanted more than anything else.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn didn't really realize that a lot of people knew who she was until she mingled with the people in the lobby two hours before the show started. Press people started asking her questions about Rachel, Rachel's career, Rachel's personal life, Rachel's eating habits and more about Rachel.

And though there were a lot of Rachel-related talks, the night had also been about her. When Charles dragged her and introduced her to his friends, most of them thought that she was also from some Broadway show.

When Charles introduced her to John Larroquette, the famous Broadway actor didn't believe that she was a just a publicist saying "Oh, Charles. The industry needs this kind of beauty. I wonder why we keep them behind the spotlight."

Quinn met more people from the press and more big Broadway people who were present to watch the show. They all had the same initial reactions – stunned by Quinn's beauty.

The ex-head Cheerio knew she looked stunning that night but little did she know that other people saw it in her. Or maybe, she just didn't believe that people actually saw it in her because more often than not, Quinn never felt enough. Lucy Caboosey was to blame, though (and _that diva_).

Regardless of what was going on inside Quinn, she was able to put on her best PR smile and it turned out to be good. She was surprised that she had around 10 calling cards from people who asked her to: one, work for them as their Publicist (Laura Osnes to be exact), two, enter a career in modeling or off-Broadway shows (most of the calling cards) and three, to simply hang out some time (Aaron Tveit and one of Quinn's few girl crushes Olivia Wilde).

It was crazy, how they loved her and how some insisted that she should pursue a career in film and TV. But it was also right there that she realized that she'd rather be here, for now.

Two minutes before the show started and after everyone had long settled for their seats inside the theater, Quinn saw Santana and Brittany enter the lobby and found her instantly.

Santana, despite her personality-bearing red cocktail dress, looked defeated as she refused to talk or even just acknowledge Quinn. Brittany knew something was going on because she, too, acted cold towards Quinn.

Unluckily for them, their reserved seats were next to each other and they ended up awkwardly seating next to each other with Brittany in the middle.

Before the show actually started, Brittany whispered to Quinn, "I'm not mad at you Q. I'm just hurt because I love you, too. San does, too. And she's hurt as well."

If there was one person who didn't really deserve to have the taste of the drama in Quinn's life, it was Brittany. She'd always been so supportive and she was probably the last person on Earth that Quinn wanted to hurt because she was innocent and secured.

But there she was again; hurting the people she loved because of being yet another damsel in distress.

She was just about to say something when the suddenly, the house lights were turned off.

The show was about to start.

In the middle of mild chatter from the people inside the theater, a loud single piano key echoed inside the New Amsterdam Theater and it was loud and intense enough to get the attention of the full house theater.

Yes, Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time was held in the legendary New Amsterdam Theater. Rachel was performing on the stage that "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and "Mary Poppins" became Broadway legends and it was the same stage that Fanny Brice performed "Ziegfeld Follies". And yes, Rachel was living her dream.

It was a full house opening night, needless to say. New Amsterdam Theater could hold more or less 1, 800 spectators. More or less 1, 800 people were going to witness Rachel's brilliance on stage and it was only when that Quinn realized it.

_This is Rachel's life now._

She wasn't any more the Rachel that the school hated. She's the Rachel that the world now loves. She wasn't anymore the Rachel that wore argyle shirts and animal sweaters. She's now the Rachel who has her own stylist. She wasn't anymore the Rachel who asked people for attention. People gladly talked about her and praised her for her talent. She wasn't anymore that Rachel.

She wasn't anymore _her_ Rachel.

It felt both pleasing and painful for Quinn.

Pleasing because Rachel finally got to where she wanted and perform in front of this more or less 1, 800 people. And painful because at the end of the day, Quinn knew that she was _just_ one of this more or less 1, 800 people. At the end of the day, she was just one of them. Still one of them, adoring her from afar.

Pleasing because she was part of this history in the making. And painful because even if she wasn't here, it will not change. Even she wasn't part of the 1,800 people inside this huge theater, there would still be 1, 799 people clapping for her when all is said and done.

It was painful because she was _just_ one of them but pleasing because _at least_ she was _now_ one of them.

And for now, Quinn would rather be _just _one of the 1, 800 people than to be the nothing at all.

Being part of something special makes you special, right?

The play started and everyone watched in amusement. Quinn saw many people react on the goose bumps they felt every time Rachel sang and Quinn was overwhelmed by the simultaneous laughs inside the theater every time Lilibeth said a punch line or two. Lilibeth was occasionally funny merely because her witty reasoning was way out of nowhere not to mention Rachel delivered it so naturally.

On that part where Lilibeth sang about her sadness and regrets, Quinn saw a lot of people tearing up, some were obviously holding it back while the others just looked sad and affected.

It was when Rachel was singing that everyone had a unified reaction: they were all watching her in admiration. Everyone looked like they were holding their breath as if it helped Rachel belt the song out.

Brilliant, perfect, magnificent.

These were the words that lingered inside Quinn's head while she was processing the content of the review she would be writing the next day.

By all means, it was perfect. The lights, the sounds, the actors... Rachel - they were all put together perfectly like a puzzle piece that found all of its other parts.

There was no second-guessing about the Tony nomination. If the thunderous applause that echoed inside the theater every time Rachel finished a song were any indication, Quinn was sure that the Tony Award for "Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical" was already won.

When it was time for Lilibeth's monologue that came with an intense song, Quinn found herself clasping Brittany's hand and holding back the tears that threatened her eyes. But in the middle of the monologue, the tears fell slowly. Only this time, they were tears were of joy. The tears were for every year she spent in misery and she was crying because she finally saw it - what Rachel exchanged for her.

Quinn understood, finally.

Rachel belonged to the stage more than she belonged to Quinn or to anyone else. And in that brief moment that their eyes connected, Quinn felt a swarm of butterflies inside her stomach. The passion, the need, the message in Rachel's eyes were just far too intense to ignore.

Rachel was Lilibeth in real life - the girl who had no time for a love that came her way.

For the first time, Quinn realized that the truth wasn't all that bad. She learned from Lilibeth's story that everyone comes to that point eventually - that point where they had to choose between two life-changing choices. Turn right, turn left, upward, downward - whichever way you choose, there would always be people who will be left behind the in life you didn't choose. For Rachel, yes it was Quinn.

Still, Quinn understood now because just like what Lilibeth's father said on one particular scene, "Whatever you choose, choose to be happy."

Quinn smiled because yes, she understood finally.

That Rachel didn't choose to hurt her or throw her out. Rachel chose to be happy. And that's what all she wanted for Rachel.

Finally, it didn't hurt Quinn anymore.

When Rachel sang the reprise of the original "I Finally See" at the finale, Quinn saw her eyes sparkle. It was a good kind of sparkle in Rachel eyes. It was the same sparkle she had in her when they won Nationals in senior year. And Quinn was sure her own eyes sparkled as well even though she was in happy tears. She was seeing Rachel in a different perspective now and to be honest, Quinn knew this kind of contentment. It was too familiar and it felt good.

As Rachel hit the final high notes of "I Finally See" which denoted the end of the story, Quinn joined the 1, 800 people who stood and clapped and cheered. She joined the five-minute standing ovation not because she was Rachel's publicist, not because she was her friend, not because she had history with her but because Quinn finally saw it – this is what Rachel chose and this could have not happened if Rachel didn't kick her out that night.

Quinn never thought she'd be able to feel it but the deafening sound of applause and Rachel's happiness made Quinn feel as if that night was a long time ago.

Quinn clapped her hands and tears streamed down her face not just because Rachel nailed it but because she was happy for Rachel. Really… happy for her.

When Rachel was introduced at the end of the show, she once again joined the 1, 800 people who adored her talent. Yes, Quinn accepted that she was _just_ one of this 1, 800 people because this 1, 800 people were the ones that Rachel exchanged for her.

In some way, she was still part of what completed Rachel's life.

For the first time, it didn't hurt thinking that Rachel exchanged her for something else because that something else... was this.

When the curtains closed signaling the end of the entire show, Quinn closed her eyes. She closed her eyes not because she didn't want to see but because she saw it better when she imagined Rachel on that stage.

She closed her eyes because finally, she was letting herself go.

She was letting all the pain, the anger, the frustration all go. She opened her eyes, looked around her and saw people with smile on their faces; most them were obviously fresh from tears. Rachel had moved this people and the way she moved Quinn.

She was letting go of everything she held on to not because they hurt but because she knew she couldn't change it anymore.

She was letting _her _Rachel go.

Finally.

She felt like crying. She was actually crying. There was a certain twist in her heart. It pained her to a certain degree but everything about Lilibeth's story was a learning experience for Quinn. Whatever happens after this or whichever way fate leads her, Quinn wouldn't be scared anymore.

She admired Rachel for choosing to be happy a few years back. She admired her courage.

And Quinn knew it was just about time.

Rachel chose to be happy a few years ago, but now, it was Quinn's time to make her choice.

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><p><em><strong>Oh, may I just say, I also loved the Santana I created here. I dunno how I did it, LOL, she's so loyal and sweet in her own way. Hahaha<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Quinn's kissing someone, will it be Rachel? LOL. And the Phoebe vs Rachel.**_


	33. Chapter 33: Fly Away, Q

**Author's Note: THANK YOU. Again, y'all have been so amazing. I'm sorry I'm not the fastest updater (?) ever. LOL. I actually stopped forcing myself to write because well, it's a lot better when I write at the right mood. *winks**

**So here's another chapter. I dunno, I found it a little emotional, too at the time of writing. But there's a part that I had fun writing. See for yourself. Yay!**

* * *

><p>After the curtains closed, everyone in the production was on high.<p>

Rachel herself could not believe the sound of applause they received. It was totally unexpected. All of the main cast members had tears in their eyes as they one-by-one hugged and thanked Rachel.

The diva pulled off a great show and they knew she carried the load of pressure on her shoulders but she managed. She was irritating at first (before her publicist taught her to act humanly) and yes, she was obnoxious but they loved her because she's not Rachel if she didn't storm out or didn't boss people around.

They all knew Rachel was talented but after that show, they weren't sure anymore. _Talented _could just be the understatement of the century.

Shortly after the show, selected guests – about a hundred of them – gathered at the Hilton Hotel for a little celebration.

Quinn didn't have the chance to congratulate Rachel for this because Charles told her to accommodate the media and the blonde, together with Brittany and Santana, headed straight to Hilton Hotel which was just less than five minutes away from the theater.

When Rachel arrived at the hotel, she instantly sought Quinn.

Quinn was the only person she wanted to see at the moment.

But the blonde was nowhere to be found.

Charles led Rachel to the group of selected media people that the manager picked personally – NY Times, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and some other prestigious print media that was only allowed to send two representatives.

She answered questions about the show and how she pulled it off and how happy she was that the first night was a success. She frequently said, "It definitely was something special."

By special, she meant Quinn.

By special, she meant that she wanted to find Quinn and hug her because she was so damned happy right now and she wanted it to share with her.

The elephant in the room was finally asked by that writer from NY Times, "Is anyone inspiring you right now, Rachel?"

Rachel paused.

She knew what the question meant.

And she knew what the answer was.

"Yes," she said and suddenly couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face.

To be blatantly honest, it was Quinn.

After a few more questions and some could-nine answers from Rachel, Charles sent the writers to the other cast and just let Rachel mingle with the guests.

But the first person she wanted to mingle with was Quinn.

_Seriously, where is she?_

Rachel roamed around, passed by people who wanted to talk to her and just searched for that blonde whose already driving her crazy.

She was ecstatic. She had a lot of successful opening nights in her life but that night, she felt complete. She felt right and not guilty. She still had Brittany but now she also had Santana. The Latina may appear to be angry all the time but Rachel knew she still cared for her. Most of all, she had Quinn… again… in her life.

It was easier. To know that Quinn was just within reach and to know that the blonde still cared for her, it was easier for Rachel to feel right and feel happy.

Deep inside, Rachel was slapping herself. How could she overlook the mere fact that it had always been Quinn who completed her life? Rachel learned the hard way that success was nothing if you have no one to share it with.

It was kind of bizarre and it was kind of weird and the feeling was kind of scary but since that day of the accident, her feelings for Quinn grew each day that passed. No, the appropriate words would be: her feelings for Quinn all came back even though it was never gone.

It was just there hidden behind the fears of not being a successful Broadway star. It was just there all the time behind the lights of New York that blinded Rachel for five straight years.

But it was never gone.

She loves Quinn and she felt it more when she was Lilibeth on that stage. She felt it more because she felt right. She felt right because Quinn was there. Quinn was there. It was all she needed.

Drag her back to Lima now with Quinn and maybe, it would be alright.

Quinn was there. It was all that mattered.

When Rachel finally caught sight of Quinn, she stopped on her tracks – stunned. Quinn does this to her all the time. She was wearing a beige strapless dress that hung freely up to the above of her knees. A black lace was tied around Quinn's waist knotted neatly at the back. Quinn's blonde hair was all straight and her white headband just did the trick.

Quinn was beautiful.

How did Rachel ever let go of someone who was this beautiful and graceful? Rachel felt like an idiot.

Rachel just watched Quinn for a couple of seconds more.

For the past month and half that she and Quinn worked with each other, Rachel lived for little moments like this. The little moments that she got to watch Quinn be all lovely and adorable were the moments that smacked Rachel in the face but it didn't hurt. It just felt nostalgic. Little moments like this made Rachel realize even more that she was so in love with Quinn.

And Rachel didn't care if "destiny" didn't create Quinn for her, _fuck you _destiny. Who are you?

Quinn was talking to Brittany about something that didn't exactly seem so fun and Santana was just behind Brittany sipping a glass of wine. Santana looked sad despite the stance that she kept. And even if she wondered, Rachel couldn't think of anything else but Quinn.

When she was about to approach Quinn, Phoebe came from out of nowhere and caught Quinn's attention. She gave her a bouquet of white and red roses and when Quinn and smiled to acknowledge her, Phoebe leaned forward and _kissed _Quinn on the cheek.

Rachel's eyes grew wide.

Phoebe kissed Quinn. It wasn't a cheek-to-cheek. It was Phoebe's lips on Quinn's cheek!

Phoebe kissed the girl she was so in love with.

The worst thing about the whole incident?

Quinn seemed to like it.

The blonde just smiled in recognition of the kiss and Rachel swore she blushed. Phoebe and Quinn's eyes lingered to each other for a moment before Quinn turned to Brittany, who was smiling at Phoebe and Santana who was observing Quinn.

There was a feeling that suddenly flushed over Rachel.

She was hurt but she was more jealous. Moreover, she was angry. Phoebe was taking advantage of Quinn (at least, this was the way that Rachel wanted to think it was). Those cheeks were only hers to claim.

And yes, Rachel was selfish. Everyone knew that Rachel was selfish about everything she wanted and right now, Rachel didn't feel bad about being selfish. If she wasn't selfish, she wouldn't be in this show, she wouldn't be on Broadway.

Her hands trembled and though she didn't want to push it again with Saint Phoebe, she just can't let it pass.

Without second thoughts, she walked towards them and smiled the biggest possible she could ever come up with at that moment.

"Hi, Quinn," Rachel said with the "h" on the "hi" a little too loud.

"Rachel!" Quinn said in a kind of excitement that even Rachel didn't expect. The blonde then put the bouquet she was holding on the table and then pulled Rachel into a deep, tight hug.

She'd never seen Quinn as excited as she was right at that moment.

"You did great, Rach," Quinn whispered.

They were still hugging each other and Rachel felt something different about Quinn. She was suddenly so fearless, expressive and sincere. She knew this Quinn. Rachel's eyes fluttered closed as she whispered, "Thank you, Quinn."

"I knew you can do it," Quinn whispered, still wrapped around Rachel's arms.

Rachel smiled, "It was easier because you believed in me."

Quinn smiled as she closed her eyes, "Thank you, Rach."

"For what?"

"For everything."

Rachel didn't understand what Quinn was so thankful for but she took Quinn's words for what they were. Maybe it was time that she stopped over thinking things.

As they pulled apart, Brittany said, "I thought you died in each other's arms."

Santana tried to hold the laugh that Brittany's comment caused her. She just settled for a smirk and shrug when Rachel smiled at her.

"Congratulations, Ray!" Brittany said as she hugged Rachel. "You did great!" she said still excitedly.

"You were amazing, Ms. Berry," Phoebe said as Rachel nodded in response.

"Thank you," Rachel said with a small smile.

_Oh, don't smile at me like that Saint Phoebe._

"Nice job, Berry," Santana said in effort to acknowledge Rachel's performance. She was moved by the entire show but she would never admit that.

"Thanks, Santana. I'm glad you made it here despite your very busy schedule. And you, too Brittany," Rachel said trying to show Phoebe that _she _is in Quinn's world, that _Phoebe _is a total outsider. She was trying to make Phoebe feel out of place.

As Brittany and Quinn talked about the show, Santana, Rachel and Phoebe stood in awkward silence. The two blondes missed Rachel's sharp stare at Phoebe who was looking as if she was ready for the challenge.

Santana observed. Sure, there were many times that she'd seen Rachel like this but those times were back in senior year when Finn asked Quinn for a date since the blonde got reinstated as the head cheerleader.

The Latina's eyes grew wide when she saw Rachel raise an eyebrow towards Phoebe after staring at her from head-to-toe. This was definitely Rachel Berry's version of the "Game on, bitch" look.

Santana had thrown this look to God-knows-who people but it didn't occur to her how scary it could possibly be when it came from Rachel.

Santana then turned her attention to Phoebe. Phoebe was in a strapless black dress that looked waterproof and her hair was in an up do. It was almost like looking at Rachel's doppelganger. Phoebe was looking innocent at first like "why was Rachel looking at me like this" but she apparently got the message in Rachel's furious eyes and responded with a look of her own.

Santana then darted her eyes towards Brittany and Quinn who were already talking about the wedding. And that's when it hit her. For some weird reason, the cheap-looking flowers caught her attention.

She looked back to Quinn, then to Phoebe, then to Rachel. The Latina then smirked and shook her head.

_Wow. I didn't know Quinn had that much effect on girls._

A few moments later, Phoebe excused herself saying that she would make use of the comfort room and Santana didn't miss the smile of victory in Rachel's face. Santana and Rachel joined Brittany and Quinn's conversation for a short while until Rachel excused herself saying that she will use the comfort room.

Santana knew what was about to come. For goodness' sake, she was from Lima Heights Adjacent, she had witnessed moments like this from where she grew up.

She didn't know what pushed her but Santana followed Rachel after a minute.

As for Rachel, well, she had told herself to follow her instinct. She was pissed as hell. The last time she talked to Phoebe, the girl said a lot about not being Quinn's lover or the likes because she knows that Quinn only sees her as a sister. Now what happened to sisterhood? The girls in _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants _didn't kiss their friends like that!

She pushed the comfort room door open and found Phoebe drying up her hand on the hand dryer. Their eyes met for a fraction of second but Rachel looked away in effort to postpone the building confrontation because Kim Cattrall – of all people – was just finishing her retouch.

Kim then turned to Rachel after she finished redoing her scarlet red lips, "Rachel! I'm so glad to see you here of all the places in the building."

Rachel only replied with a smile.

"Congratulations on that stellar performance. Let me be the first to congratulate you for the Tony," the actress said as she gave Rachel a short hug. Rachel murmured a "thank you" and then Kim exited the comfort room leaving only Rachel, Phoebe and the air of tension that had always been present every time they shared a space or something.

Rachel turned to the mirror and started redoing her own makeup. _Who was she fooling? She didn't even know how to do a makeup retouch. _She pretended anyway because she wouldn't want to appear war freak in front of Saint Phoebe.

"What was that back there?" Phoebe asked. Rachel didn't know that Saint Phoebe had this venom in her body.

"What do you mean? My stare or the kiss you gave Quinn?" Rachel said mimicking the same venom in Phoebe's voice.

Phoebe finally took her hands away from the hair dryer – which by the way was a lamer act than pretending to know how to know how to retouch – and faced the mirror as well and started retouching her own makeup.

_Well, I must say she knows how to work on her own makeup but at least I didn't pretend as if I was drying my hand. Spell lame?_

"Seriously, who am I talking to? The Broadway star or Quinn's ex-lover?"

_That was rude!_

"Both," Rachel shrugged looking at Phoebe in the mirror. "I'm sorry but you can't regard the other without considering the other one. It's a package," she added.

Phoebe sighed, "Look, I'm not after a fight or whatever. I was just showing Quinn what she was missing because of holding on to a past she doesn't deserve being stuck on to."

"Except that you don't have a right to tell her to _not _be stuck on a past you don't even know about."

"As if you have the right to be all mad about it."

They stared at each other with growing anger inside them. Rachel was plainly out of control. She was mad, she was jealous and she was threatened. This is what jealousy does to her. Remember Sunshine from the always sunny country? Yeah, she's a concrete example.

"Rachel, I do not need to know about Quinn's past to tell that she was deeply scarred by it. I see it when you are with each other; I see it when she looks at you. I have been in love with Quinn since four years ago and I feel so dumb of actually waiting for her to come to her senses because she never will especially now you're here."

"This is not your call to make, for your information. Don't force her into you. What happened to your 'I'm just sorta sure that Q and I could not have a relationship more than purely platonic'? Or do you even remember saying that? Maybe you don't because you're too desperate."

Phoebe smirked in disbelief, "Oh my God, Rachel. You're words are almost synonymous to 'let's just let Quinn be miserable because this is how I'll keep her with me'. Now I know why you and Quinn didn't end up together. You are so selfish."

Rachel was in shock. She stood dumbfounded because Phoebe might be right. Is this what she was trying to do? Has she been keeping Quinn for herself with no other viable reason other than her own desires?

Was she far too inclined to the idea of getting Quinn back that she didn't think of how Quinn might feel about it?

Sure, she saw that Quinn still cared about her but was Quinn still in love with her?

"I didn't mean to intrude to whatever past you have with Quinn, okay? But I've had enough of seeing her miserable. I know I will always be number two, because you will always be the first but I don't fucking care. I want to see her happy."

Rachel looked at Phoebe star struck of what she said, "I want to see her happy, too."

"No, Rachel. You want to see her happy _with you. _I want to see her happy, period."

Saint Phoebe who had some venom in her voice earlier was lecturing Rachel? About Quinn? Something was terribly wrong with that… especially that Rachel was starting to believe she was right.

"If you want her to be really happy, open your eyes Rachel. I know you're trying to make it up to her but you're probably doing it the wrong way," Phoebe said.

_What now, Rachel Berry? _

"Start all over again and stop connecting everything to the past."

Phoebe paused. Her features changed all of a sudden. That bitchy look in her eyes was present once again.

"You don't belong to each other. You have to start believing that."

A while ago, Phoebe said that she wanted Quinn to be happy, period and now, she was telling Rachel that they don't belong to each other… thus benefiting to the thought that Quinn belongs to her?

Rachel was about to back down when a voice interrupted the conversation.

"Except that's not your call to make, bitch," Santana said popping from the corner nearest to the door.

She had been listening since the two started the "talking" and though she didn't particularly like Rachel at the very moment, she simply cannot stand the other girl. When she met Phoebe earlier and saw her kiss Quinn on the cheek, she had wanted to punch her in the face.

Rachel saw Phoebe's features change from tough to scared. Santana still had it after all these years.

"You don't kiss people like that and think that they like it, sweetie," Santana said as she stood beside Rachel.

"Quinn liked it," Phoebe said maybe thinking that she can out do Santana.

Santana smirked, "Come on boy hips, you've been around Quinn for like five years, I'm surprised that you don't know she doesn't like people kissing her like that. She didn't protest because she is in front of many people and she wouldn't want to humiliate a smitten puppy."

Rachel wanted to give Santana a five-minute standing ovation but she knew it wasn't over.

Santana, on the other hand, just felt frustrated both by standing up for Rachel and by looking at Phoebe. She had met Phoebe a few years back but there was something so off about Phoebe that she didn't like.

Her dislike towards Phoebe even grew as years passed because she saw how she tried to seduce Quinn a lot of times but failed miserably because, well Quinn wasn't that much over Rachel yet. Santana was even more annoyed because all these years, Quinn had tried to send Phoebe a message that she wasn't interested in her yet the girl just won't back down.

It was exciting having Phoebe around before, though, because Santana would always want to laugh at the numerous times that she had to put up a story of stomachache, headache, heartache just so she could stop Quinn from going out with Phoebe.

"As much as I agree with everything you said, I'm gonna say you blew it off when you said that this midget didn't belong to Quinn. Who are you? Cupid?"

Santana moved closer to Phoebe so that she stood face-to-face with her, "Phoebe, come on. You said you've seen the way they look at one another. Now, recall the way they look at each other and seriously tell me that they don't belong together."

This shut Phoebe up.

Santana shrugged as she suddenly found her finger nails interesting, "See?"

The Latina then met Phoebe's eyes, "First, you don't kiss Quinn like that. Woo her all you want but let Quinn make the calls and never assume anything. Second, you don't tell Rachel that they don't belong together because for all I know, you don't believe that yourself and I am very sure you just said that to eliminate the competition. And three, you don't talk to my girls like that… not under my radar."

"Why are you being so mean?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm not being mean, Treasure Trail. I'm keeping it real in case you got lost on your fantasies."

Without much choice left, Phoebe looked from Santana to Rachel was smirking. She then sighed and made her way out of the comfort room, defeated and frustrated.

Rachel could not believe it. Santana just stood for her. What year was this again?

"I'm waiting for your thank you speech, Berry," Santana said as she faced the mirrors and started redoing her makeup.

Shocked, Rachel studied Santana first waiting for some insult that she expected to come but when it didn't, she said, "Wow. Thank you, Santana."

"I could almost hear your mind screaming that Phoebe was right," Santana said.

Still shocked with Santana's kind action, Rachel wasn't able to respond.

"She was right at some point, though. Try to hear everything she said all over again except for the part that she said that you and Q don't belong together," Santana said trying to not sound like Ms. Pillsbury.

"The selfish part?"

"True."

"The doing it the wrong way part?"

"Damn straight."

Rachel leaned on the sink feeling defeated.

When Santana saw the sorry look on Rachel's face, she leaned on the sink and said, "Remember they way you treated her that night at the ranch?"

Rachel nodded.

"You felt good, right?"

Rachel nodded again.

"I knew it because it was the first time I saw both of you without the shadow of history behind you. Before that moment I challenged you, it was all doing great because you're just Quinn and Rachel, plainly and not Quinn and Rachel that had history. Get me?"

Rachel just looked at Santana, and then nodded. All these years, she knew that Santana would never invest on long sentences if she didn't care about what she was saying.

"If you want to make it up to Q, do it the right way. Don't try to replace the bad memories, try to make new good ones."

Rachel smiled.

"Why are you doing this? You hate me," Rachel asked.

"I don't hate you… anymore. I just love Quinn. That's two very different things," Santana said as she smiled.

"Thank you, San," Rachel smiled again. "It was fun seeing you call Phoebe nicknames. I didn't know it was that entertaining," she teased.

"That's why it worked in high school," Santana said laughingly.

"I can't believe you stood up for me like that and you actually called me one of 'your girls'."

Santana just shrugged, "Phoebe is manipulative. She'd been seducing Quinn for years, okay? She might be right about some things that she said but I really can't take it if you'd give up on Quinn just because she said that you didn't belong to each other. You almost believed her."

"Are you saying that…"

"No. I'm not saying that I'm on your side already or that I 100% believe that you and Quinn belong together but I don't want to stand here and watch someone who truly loves Quinn give up on her just because of one stupid lie created by someone who was desperate to get her."

Rachel just smiled.

"All I'm saying is that you are big enough to know what to do. And I have decided since Brittany and I almost broke up… that I will not meddle anymore, unless you go mess this up again. You heard Phoebe's speech. She's totally a bitch but she made sense."

"I don't know what to do."

"You'll figure it out and please, figure it out fast," Santana said as flashes of her morning with Quinn suddenly came to her.

"I still can't believe we're friends again," Rachel said and… assumed.

Santana shrugged, "I'm not stupid. I may not like you 100% _yet_, but Quinn's lived in misery for the past few years. I don't want to see the next phase of her life to be around a lie that is Phoebe. I don't want Quinn to think that moving on means being with Phoebe. She'd fooled herself coming here, I don't want her to fool herself anymore by being with someone else thinking that she's over you."

Rachel smiled pathetically.

"And besides," Santana said as she faced the mirror once again and checked her features for the last time, "Phoebe looks like the Rachel voodoo doll I made after we lost Nationals in junior year. Remind me to bring needles next time I see her."

They shared a laugh.

Rachel felt good because Santana, of all people, was on her side even though the Latina would never admit.

"Are you sure you're not twins?"

Rachel playfully smacked Santana in the arm.

"Well… if you are long lost twins, I'd still take your royal hotness any time of the day," Santana said as she smiled at Rachel.

The diva nodded in approval, "That's a good choice."

That and the two made their out of the comfort room and back to their table with smiles on their faces and maybe… a rekindled friendship.

o-o-o-o-o

After the short and slightly eventful after party, Santana found herself staring out the window of the New York apartment she shared with Quinn.

Quinn was still somewhere, maybe she was still with Rachel back at the Hilton Hotel. Santana was the one who came home the earliest of them four saying that she needed to study stuff for her class the next day. The truth is she didn't really have to study anything because, well, she practically read everything the other night. She just couldn't stand pretending that she and Quinn were okay. It had been years since she and Quinn had some sort of a fight. That's how mature their relationship had been. The last time they fought was a year and half ago when Santana caught Quinn browsing Rachel's Facebook account, using Santana's profile. She was so mad at Quinn not for using her account but because Quinn was so damned pathetic for stalking at Rachel's FAKE account.

Santana laughed remembering this because Quinn cried that night like a baby and even though she hated Quinn for being such a pathetic ex-lover who stalked their superstar lover's fake Facebook account, she still slept beside Quinn that night and reconciled with her. She couldn't stand being mad at Quinn. The blonde has this baby pout that she shows Santana when the Latina gets angry. It was almost similar to Brittany's but Quinn's was different. It's not that it's too adorable to resist but it was just different when it came from Quinn. Imagine? Quinn freaking Fabray pouts like a baby when her best friend was mad at her. That alone sounds weird and maybe cute at the thought.

And how can Santana stay mad at Quinn for a long time when she very well knows that Quinn NEVER got mad at her, ever. Or at least, the blonde didn't show that she was mad at her in some way. There was a time that Santana was so intolerable with all her drinking and Quinn spent an entire week taking care of her even if it meant she didn't get enough sleep or she missed classes but she heard nothing from Quinn. Not even a sigh of frustration. There were moments that the Latina was always at rage and she threw things at Quinn when she was frustrated, but Quinn just did with all the matrix moves she learned to avoid the things that Santana literally threw at her. Santana won't forget that one winter night that Santana forgot to leave the door unlocked for Quinn. Santana slept like rock that night and didn't hear Quinn's calls or knocks. Quinn had stayed out in the cold until three in the morning and Santana almost killed herself because even though it wasn't snowing (it's LA, for goodness' sake), it was still cold and freezing. She even scolded Quinn for not gatecrashing at any of her friends' house but she remembered that Quinn didn't have too many friends. She left out Quinn in the cold until three in the morning, yet the first thing that Quinn said to her when she opened the door was, "God! Santana, I was so worried about you."

Santana shook her head upon recalling the incident. Quinn is probably the most patient person in Santana's life. So, no one could possibly blame her for reacting like that and getting hurt like that when she knew that Quinn was going away, again. The last time Quinn went away, she came back with a broken heart and a shattered life. And Santana knew this time, it was a lose-lose situation: it's either Quinn comes back still unable to find what she was looking for or Quinn doesn't come back, period.

But what else can she do?

This was Quinn Fabray after all.

Judging by the way Quinn looked after the show, Santana saw the life back into her best friend's eyes - something she didn't saw in her for the past few years. Santana smiled as her tears fell. Maybe, it was also time for her to let Quinn go.

Since Quinn started to work for Rachel, Santana always made sure that she stayed up all night until Quinn got home from a day's work. It was because she always wanted to make sure that Quinn got home safely and she wanted to stay awake just in case Quinn needed someone to cry on to. Sometimes, she pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't be too obvious but the point was, she always kept a close watch on Quinn. But something in Quinn's smile after that show told Santana that maybe, it was time for her to get her regular amount of sleep from now on because Quinn will be okay.

When Santana saw Quinn hug Rachel back there at the hotel, she saw a different Quinn. No, she saw _her_ Quinn, her best friend Quinn. Not the one that put walls around her but the one that was always sure of herself.

That's the reason why Santana was so pissed at Phoebe when she saw her kiss her earlier. Santana was so afraid that Phoebe would drag her back to her miserable self. She didn't hate Phoebe, just her way of getting Quinn (and her similarities with Rachel). If Quinn someday chooses to be with Phoebe or Rachel or anyone else, Santana wouldn't dip a finger on it as long as it was Quinn's personal decision and not because she was influenced by cheap-looking flowers and a cheap-as-hell kiss on the cheek.

She wasn't on Rachel's or Phoebe's side, she was on Quinn's side, all the way.

That's why she stood for Rachel that time against Phoebe.

Rachel loved and still loves Quinn. That's the only reason Santana needed to stand for the hobbit. As silly as it was, Santana knew there was only one person on this planet that could stop Quinn from leaving and sad to say it wasn't Santana Lopez but her feelings for Rachel Berry. It's not that she didn't want Quinn to leave and try to be happy in LA… she just didn't want her to leave for the wrong reasons.

If Quinn would leave, she wanted Quinn to leave because she wanted to leave, period and not because she wanted to leave because of the past.

Rachel will always have a special place in Quinn's heart. This is the reason she never told Quinn to "forget her" or "stop drooling at the sight of her photos over the internet". If Quinn was Santana, Rachel was her Brittany - the one who will always be part of her life no matter what.

When Santana saw Quinn after the show, she realized how much she missed _that _Quinn. She always described Quinn as a "glowing" person (not just because of the glowing blonde hair) but because she always had this certain glow in her. Sometimes, she thought that even if it was pitch black in McKinley, she'd still see Quinn because she was "glowing". For quite some time, that certain glow was not present until after that show. Just the thought of that smile from Quinn, it was like seeing Cheerio Quinn - the one who got everything she wanted in her life.

Yeah, maybe it was just about time to let Quinn take the steps on her own.

Santana felt like a mother or something. She had tried to teach Quinn to walk all these years; caught her the first time she fell, guided her the first time she tripped, pulled her up every time she stumbled... and now, Quinn was more ready than ever to take her own steps.

A part of her was happy for Quinn. _Finally, right?_

But there would always be that part of her that would always be protective around Quinn. It's not out of guilt or anything; this was just how Santana loved the people she loves.

Oh, God. Who would she tease about her and Brittany's sexy times? She knew Quinn could never stand the images of it. Who would she tell about how much she hated watching Smallville with Brittany? Quinn could actually stand Smallville but they shared the same sentiments about the show. Who would she ask about things that confused her about patients' attitudes? Quinn was probably the best non-psychology student that knew a lot about psychology.

Oh, God. She's gonna miss Quinn. She and Quinn shared a unique kind of silence. They were similar on that aspect of their life - they're not people of many words but when they actually speak, it usually matters. They're Santana and Quinn. They were like Chuck and Blair, minus the romantic involvement.

And who would help her review when big exams approached? Damn. Quinn was a good review partner. Santana was smart but Quinn was way smarter than her. Quinn was like a walking encyclopedia. Santana nearly laughed at the thought that came to her. If ever Quinn and Rachel would be together someday, they will make up a lethal combination: a walking encyclopedia and a talking dictionary? Now that's what you call a power couple.

Thinking about it, who was she fooling? Phoebe was an ass when she said that Quinn and Rachel didn't belong to each other. Santana saw Rachel and Quinn in the way that Coach Sylvester described when Jean Sylvester died. It was like an invisible thread was connecting them and someday, when they found the ends of the thread, they will find each other. As much as she hated it but if there was one person in this world that she wanted Quinn to find at the end of that invisible thread, she wanted it to be Rachel.

Santana's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the opening and closing of the front door. It was followed by small silent footsteps that sounded creepy at first but Santana knew this sound very well. It was how Quinn tiptoed every night she went home late thinking that Santana was asleep when all the while, the Latina was just pretending to be. A few moments more and without a single warning, Santana felt Quinn's arms around her, hugging her from the back.

Under normal circumstances, she would have shoved Quinn away saying that she hated hugs when it didn't come from Brittany. But that time, she knew what Quinn was trying to do and pushing Quinn away was the last thing on her mind because who knows, sometime soon, she wouldn't be able to hug Quinn anymore even if she wanted it.

So, she just let Quinn hug her as the blonde rested her chin on Santana's shoulder.

There were only a few times that they've been this _intimate_ but not too intimate. It was a friendly kind of intimate. It was the kind of intimacy that only Quinn and Santana shared and understood because both of them have been through so much together.

Santana closed her eyes and rested her hands on top of Quinn's.

A few moments more, Santana felt Quinn's tears on her shoulder. She wasn't sure why Quinn was crying but she knew it wasn't about Rachel. Santana didn't ask. She didn't want to speak because she might break into tears as well.

"Thank you for everything, S," Quinn whispered.

Santana swallowed. She felt her tears again. For the nth time that day, she was crying because of Quinn.

"I don't know where I would be without you," Quinn said as buried her face on Santana's shoulder.

Santana swallowed again. It hurt her to the some high degree.

"Same goes," Santana said silently.

Under normal circumstances, Santana Lopez would just tell Quinn Fabray to stop all the drama and get on with their lives but Quinn Fabray's best friend will not do that to her, at least not right now.

"Whatever you're choosing, Quinn, please be happy," Santana said secretly praying for the same thing.

Quinn nodded.

"Fabray, if I ever found out that you're miserable in LA, I will drag you back here. I swear to God," Santana warned managing a small smile.

She felt Quinn smile as the blonde nodded again.

Santana sighed as a new batch of tears streamed down her cheeks, "Thank you, Q. I could never thank you enough."

For a quiet few minutes, they just stood there - Santana stared outside the window and Quinn just hugged Santana - crying. How did they ever become so mature?

"Enough crying already," Santana said as she smiled pathetically and wiped the tears on her cheeks. "You mention this to anyone and I'm gonna dye your hair pink, Avril," she teased.

Quinn smiled as she untangled herself from Santana, "Not gonna promise you anything. I'm Quinn Fabray, lefty. I'm the Queen of the Black Mailers."

Santana laughed, "Oh God, Q. Now that you mentioned about black mailing, I'm pretty sure I have quite a few that will make you stay here."

Quinn just smiled.

"But of course, I will not use that," Santana said as she looked at Quinn. "At least not yet," she added.

Quinn smacked her playfully in the forehead and Santana just chuckled.

"There's still one and a half month to spend brainwashing you," Santana joked. "Don't expect me to give up that easy," she finished.

"I wasn't," said Quinn. "Maybe I was hoping you could still pull me back if ever I was bound to make the wrong decisions again," she said as they once again shared a brief hug.

"No worries, Q, I'd do that even you don't ask me to," she finished as she smiled.

After all that has happened and changed since they got to New York, both of them were just thankful that it didn't change _them_. True enough, New York can change a lot about a person's life: Rachel being alcoholic, Brittany being a life coach. But not even the infamous New York City can change Santana and Quinn's friendship. It was there to stay.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well, if we must say… we got a dose of the PezBerry in here. But does Phoebe give up? That we'll have to know soon. Sorry for the loooong chapters. I can't seem to know where to cut them. Tell me if it's too much and maybe I'll give you cliffhangers. LOL.<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Rachel's putting all her cards on the line. That's all. Hahaha.**_


	34. Chapter 34: Not Again

**Author's Note: THANK YOU, again, SO MUCH! Y'all have awesome and patient and kind. Y'all inspire me to write better. Again, I'm so sorry for not being able to update like sooner. But I'm trying my best. And thank you for keeping up with the 6,000-word chapter. LOL.**

**Anyway, enough rambling already. Here it is. Hmmmm. Get ready to meet our love guru named Brittany. Haha!**

* * *

><p>Quinn was freaking out.<p>

It had been two weeks since the show opened and Rachel's been on at least another show night and everything about Quinn's life was crazy.

Being Rachel's publicist and assistant was already crazy as hell but since this week started, another job was added in her list of worries: being Santana's safe refuge, calming hands and object of her anger displacement. The Latina was damned nervous about the wedding.

Despite everything that had happened in her crazy life, she was still very aware that it was a Wednesday and Santana and Brittany's wedding was this Sunday.

It had a few weeks since they started planning the wedding. It was one hard wedding to plan considering Brittany and Santana's clashing requests but with one of the most in-demand wedding planners in New York (that Rachel volunteered to pay herself), a very high-maintenance Rachel Berry and an organized Quinn Fabray planning the wedding… it came in handy.

And poof! Here Quinn was rushing to pack her things because Rachel would be in her apartment any time picking her up because they will drive to JFK… together.

Yes, together.

Since that life-changing opening night and since Santana and Rachel seemed to get along again, Quinn found it easier to be around the diva. They didn't anymore have that awkward tension when they were alone in a room or that awkward silence whenever they lost something to talk about. Slowly, but surely, things had gone well between the two of them.

Quinn didn't even have to remind herself to stop feeling hurt again, because in some unpracticed way, she simply didn't hurt anymore. The what-if's were still there but it didn't anymore drag Quinn back to her miserable state. She was good with what-if's. Why? Simple.

It's because she didn't have to worry about her biggest what-if anymore.

_What if she ever had Rachel? _That is Quinn's biggest what-if in her life.

And the answers to it came almost every day that she had Rachel back around. This what-if question was answered by Rachel's midnight calls talking about Funny Girl. This what-if question was answered by Rachel's occasional self-prepared vegan lunch for Quinn. This was also answered by Rachel's good night and good morning messages. Or maybe it was answered whenever she and Rachel _comfortably._

Best of all, Quinn's what-if question was answered every time Rachel would be mad at Quinn if the blonde didn't text her to tell if she made it home safely after theater hours.

The answer to that big what-if question was answered in some way because she had Rachel, right there. Maybe, she had her not in _that _way but still, just knowing that Rachel was there, Quinn was okay. Rachel just being herself around Quinn was more than enough to keep the blonde at ease.

_Come what may._ This is what she meant when she let the two of them go that night. If it was meant to be, it eventually will be.

Her phone buzzed and Quinn's thoughts and packing was suddenly interrupted. She checked to see who it was and found Phoebe's name on the LED screen.

_**Have a safe trip, Q. Tell Brittany and Santana I said hi. And congratulations, too.**_

Quinn smiled and typed in a reply.

_**Thanks and I'll tell them and relay the hi. **_

She liked Phoebe – to some extent – but not in the way Phoebe felt about her. Maybe, not yet, but Quinn's has opened her doors to the possibility of being with another person. In fact, she and Puck started texting again. They had shared messages about the past and he had told her how much he missed her and how he looked forward to seeing her again. Slowly, she was giving herself a chance to be happy again. And she has given Phoebe that chance, too. When they talked a few nights after the opening night, Quinn told Phoebe about the way she felt when Phoebe kissed her in front of her friends. She told Phoebe that she didn't like it and Phoebe apologized for going too forward. But she also told Phoebe that she didn't like it not because it felt horrible but because she just didn't like to take things too fast. She could definitely imagine herself with Phoebe and it didn't look really bad. But for now, she just wanted to take it easy with Puck or Phoebe (and all the people who fell in line for her attention, hell, there were many).

Phoebe replied.

_** See you next week?**_

She smiled as she typed a reply as well.

_**Yeah, see you. Take good care of yourself as well.**_

She missed Phoebe though. Well, she didn't know why but since Phoebe left early on the night of Lilibeth's opening, the brunette just seemed aloof, not to Quinn but maybe to someone else. She didn't come to the theater anymore and just met Quinn for lunch or dinner. Quinn just thought that Phoebe got fed up of the rehearsal and didn't like to come and watch them anymore. Still, they had lunch three days a week and had dinner together for like most of the week, except for that one night that Santana figured she was going out with Phoebe and the Latina just had some sort of… back pain.

If occasional lunch and frequent dinners was Quinn's idea of taking it slow, well, so be it.

A few minutes more, a knock on the door interrupted her rummaging. She smiled realizing that this was definitely Rachel arriving _too _early. Punctuality was always the girl's notable asset – aside from the singing of course.

"I have always admired your punctuality but this is _way _too punctual, Rach," Quinn said as she opened the door with a large grin on her face. Quinn walked back inside the apartment as Rachel stepped in, closed the door behind her and followed Quinn to the living room.

"Nice seeing you, too, Q," Rachel teased.

Rachel, for goodness' sake, was two hours earlier than the time she said she'd arrive – which was already too early for their flight.

Their flight was at 8:30 that evening. They needed to be at least two hours early for the flight, so that means they needed to arrive in JFK at six or so. Knowing that, Rachel told Quinn that she will pick her up at three. Rachel was crazy!

Quinn didn't know why and she didn't understand because the ride to JFK from Greenwich Village was barely an hour. And arriving at four was way, way too early even if you were too excited for a flight.

To top that, Rachel was already there at Quinn and Santana's apartment… and it was only one in the afternoon.

"What's going on, Rach?" Quinn asked as she looked at Rachel who still had that look on her face.

"Is Santana here?" Rachel asked a little too teasingly knowing that Quinn was expecting for an answer.

"Still at school," Quinn replied as she turned her back from Rachel and attempted to head back to her room.

"You ready?"

Quinn turned to Rachel once again but continued to her travel back to her room, this time walking backwards, "Seriously, Rach? You're asking me that when you're here four hours earlier than what we first agreed."

"Still, I'm just two hours earlier than the time we finally agreed to last night."

Quinn shook her head smilingly.

"Quinn Fabray, don't tell me, you haven't packed everything yet!" Rachel asked as she shot up from the couch.

The blonde playfully raised an eyebrow, smiled and shook her head.

"Oh, God, Quinn. I told you to pack your things yesterday," Rachel lectured as she walked fast towards Quinn's room and walked past Quinn.

This was how comfortable they'd been since that opening night.

To Rachel, Quinn seemed to be more fearless, open and carefree after that day. It seemed to Rachel that finally, it was okay to be alone in a room with Quinn without the fear that one of them will break into tears because of the past.

Rachel liked it. She felt as if once again, the horizons aligned for her to finally act on what she really wanted.

Since that incident with Phoebe and Santana, Rachel got into another series of self-intervention and inner-debate.

Sure, she knew that she and Quinn needed to start over. At least, half of the equation was already solved. It was like answering an incomplete mathematical equation.

_If x minus y is equals to starting over again, and y is all the pain they felt before, then what is x?_

It wasn't the best mathematical equation, so to speak but it was a good example.

Simply interpreting the mathematical data... well, sure Rachel wanted to start over. She wanted to have a fresh start with Quinn. But the real time question was "_how?"_

How do you start with a clean slate if the slate isn't all too clean? Rachel wouldn't play hide-and-seek anymore… yes, she still had feelings for Quinn. She still wanted to be with Quinn. But she wasn't sure if having these feelings could help the fresh start that Santana and Phoebe were talking about.

In Rachel's point-of-view, it was a win her back or lose her for good.

Rachel didn't know what to do that's why she spent the past two weeks just existing in Quinn's life – there but not really, gone but not really. She needed time to think because she felt that one mistake and everything right about her life would change.

She was confused about everything… until last night.

To make the long story short, Brittany caught her staring at the empty fish bowl that never really had a fish in it, ever. Rachel didn't know why but there was something about that inexpensive-looking fish bowl caught her attention whenever she was thinking about something serious. Knowing the kind of inquisition that Brittany laid on the table, Rachel decided to open it up to Brittany.

She told Brittany about the whole Santana-Phoebe incident that caused the blonde to smirk and say, "I knew San could never keep her hands off this." She told Brittany everything and apparently, Rachel chose the right person to confide into.

Just like most days, Brittany Pierce – once high school dumb blonde turned Rachel Berry's life coach – gave her the light. And Brittany's words last night brought Rachel to Quinn and Santana's apartment four hours earlier than expected.

_"Q will always love you, R. I don't believe that love disappears but once you love a person, it doesn't change. It's either you love them more or you love them less. Maybe it's not true to everyone but it's true for you and Q because you shared something totally special. I think, knowing that should just be enough for you to jump in the water again. But this time, it's not the populated water that your past created but rather, it's a sea of possibilities that the future holds for you and Q. In between this day and that night you pushed her away, something happened and it changed you both. It created the difference between who you thought you could be and the person you really are. And whatever happened in between this night and that night, it's the liberty of the truth or the lies you'll tell yourself in the future. If you choose the lie you've lived, you'll always walk down the path of doubt and questions but if you choose the truth you had to learn the hard way, you'll end up facing that truth and free yourself of the past. Starting over doesn't have to mean zero, it means you have to start recounting what you have in your life and making them count better than those you don't have. You may have lost a lot of time, but it's only time. You still have Q and I'm pretty sure you could use that to your advantage."_

Yes, this was Brittany Pierce possessed by Nicholas Sparks' spirit. She delivered it flawlessly and effortlessly as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And it was all it took for Rachel to finally realize what she needed to do.

It was all Rachel needed.

No, she wasn't letting Quinn go.

She _can't_ let Quinn go.

o-o-o-o-o

After Rachel and Quinn finished packing Quinn's things, they found themselves at the back of a cab heading somewhere only Rachel knew at the moment.

"Rachel, make sure, this isn't a strip club or something. Let me remind you that I am so not into Santana's idea of a bridal bash," Quinn said as she smiled at Rachel who was silent and calm.

"Quinn, trust me. This isn't about San or Brit," Rachel said as she smiled.

What Rachel was planning wasn't a huge surprise or a grand declaration of love; she just wanted to show Quinn something. And for once, it wasn't about Santana or Brittany, or Broadway, it was about _them_.

A few moments more, they found themselves inside New Amsterdam Theater.

It was empty and the _huge _theater was only half lit. The stage was illuminated by a weak yellowish light but it was rather dimmer than what Quinn was used to.

"Why are we here, Rach? Did you forget something?"

Rachel smiled and shook her head.

"I wanna show you something," said Rachel as she took Quinn's hand in hers and gently led her towards the enormous stage.

They walked hand-in-hand and Rachel felt Quinn's soft hand tense against her but just like the usual, she eventually relaxed.

When they reached the stage, Quinn sighed in mixed wonder and confusion. From where Quinn stood, the stage was large and dark and empty. It was way different from how it usually appeared at rehearsals and most especially during show nights. Then, she turned to the audience and sighed once again, still in mixed awe and uncertainty. She saw the huge space filled with endless dark blue seats and it seemed like a huge abandoned space: solid, dark and lonely.

_Wow._

It was… empty.

From where Quinn stood, the entire theater looked… meaningless.

"Do you see it, Q?" Rachel asked guessing that Quinn already saw one of the things she wanted her to see.

Quinn didn't answer. She was confused and she felt something in her stomach. It's not that it felt as if she wanted to cry right there, but looking at the empty theater, she had never seen something so lonely and deserted.

Rachel took Quinn's silence as her opportunity to start _starting over_. She walked beside Quinn who was still looking at the emptiness of the theater. _God! Even in awe, she still looked beautiful._

"For the past five years, Quinn it felt like this," Rachel said as she stared into the emptiness as well. "I perform in this huge stage, be watched by many people like I always wished but from here, it looks like this," she started.

Rachel heard Quinn sigh.

"Every time I perform, it's like my whole life was being stretched ahead in front of me," Rachel said as she moved towards the center of the stage and sat on the floor. Quinn followed her and mimicked her actions. "It was like standing in the middle of a cross road. And even as I chose the fancy-looking road, I saw myself looking at the other one. No matter how loud the applause was, my eyes sought that road not taken and I had always been certain that I made a mistake."

Rachel saw the tears form in Quinn's eyes but she knew Quinn wouldn't cry. She won't let her.

"Have you ever walked inside a very crowded room and felt so lonesome you can't even dare yourself to move?" Rachel smirked hopelessly. "I have, a lot of times for the past five years."

Both of them sat in silence. Quinn was obviously absorbing the thoughts and Rachel looking for the words she would say next.

You want the truth? Rachel didn't rehearse this. Rachel didn't listen to any sad music to set the mood. She dragged Quinn here laying all her cards on the line. This is Rachel Berry, out and about with her feelings.

She observed Quinn and a slight feeling of content rushed over her. Quinn was there, sitting silently and Rachel saw _through _her. She saw through Quinn because the blonde had let her see her. Rachel expected her to put on her game face and act as if it was nothing but no, Quinn wasn't doing that. Quinn sat silently, exposing her heart in the subtlest way possible.

Rachel felt good because yes, _it was a start_.

Suddenly, Rachel lay flat on her back and stared on the blank ceiling of the theater. Quinn got the message and again mimicked Rachel's gesture. Rachel meant it to feel nostalgic. She was copying that one night she shared with Quinn in the middle of the football field of McKinley.

They were lying close to each other, comfortable with the proximity. Only, they weren't lying on the soft lawn of the football field. They were lying on the cold hard stage floor. They were both looking up with hopes and unsaid feelings; only, they weren't looking up at a huge plain black paper with small white dots everywhere but a dark unlit ceiling with fake flickers of light.

They were lying close to each other, just Quinn and Rachel; only this wasn't Lima. This wasn't Ohio. They were inside New Amsterdam Theater in Broadway. They were in New York but Rachel wanted to think that the truth was still intact: they were Quinn and Rachel… still.

"Lilibeth's opening night was the night that changed me, Quinn," Rachel resumed her unscripted lines. "It didn't feel anything like the one you saw earlier and it's not because of the impending Tony."

Rachel felt Quinn smile.

She smiled as well, "It's funny how one person can mean the world to you."

Silence.

"I felt alive again."

Silence.

Finally, after a long moment of silence, Quinn asked, "How did it feel knowing that I was watching you?"

Rachel smiled as she closed her eyes. She tried to recall everything because she wanted to answer Quinn in the best way possible. The feelings rushed over her. She lay there feeling it all once again. The warmth, the positive feeling, the pride, the glory.

She felt like she just wanted to break out of Lilibeth's character and shout on top of her voice. She wanted to shout or sing about love. Because that's what she felt right there.

Rachel smiled once more as tears silently streamed, "I felt like the same old Rachel Berry."

"Did it feel good?" Quinn asked almost whispering.

Rachel nodded and again closed her eyes. She needed to say it.

"It reminded me why loved you."

Silence – a long one.

For what seemed like five full minutes, silence embraced them.

Rachel felt good having the courage to utter it finally but her last sentence was incomplete.

She sat and looked at Quinn, "And it reminded me how it was to be really happy." She took Quinn's hand and stared at it. She didn't want to look her in eyes because she might break, so she just stared at the hands that she'd spent five years missing, "I took you here because I want you to see me the way you did before, despite everything."

The brunette sighed, "Maybe, it will remind you why you loved me."

Rachel's voice trembled. She can't help it. When she uttered her final sentence, she felt Quinn's hand clasp hers. She didn't know what it meant but she didn't care. She needed it. It was enough.

The diva let go of Quinn's hand and stood as Quinn sat, looking somewhere else. Rachel knew she was trying to stop her tears.

"While I was performing as Lilibeth, I felt special. For the many times I performed here, it was the only time that I felt complete. You know, probably, spaghetti was just spaghetti until someone thought of putting meatballs in it. Or Oreos were just plain biscuit until someone tried to dip it into milk. And why would you want to eat bacon without eggs? Quinn, my point is by myself, I'm just another Broadway star. I'm just Rachel Berry. I'm nothing special. But with you, I feel like it. I feel special."

Quinn managed a small smile.

"You don't have to love me back anymore, Quinn. But please, for the time being, let me love you the way I should have loved you before."

Rachel wasn't able to stop the small sob that came out after she said her last statement. It was so damn true and it felt freaking much that she felt her heart squirm at the words. This is not _the _Rachel Berry. This is only Rachel Berry putting her heart on the line.

This is what she wanted Quinn to see… her heart.

She had to start _starting over _with this. She wanted to show Quinn the one thing that the blonde ever asked of her before. Rachel wanted to show Quinn something that she deprived of her for the past five years. And she wanted to start _from here. _Here, where she didn't have to pretend. Here, where she and Quinn didn't need to look back.

After sharing one of those many silent seconds, Rachel wiped the tears on her face as she fixed her hair and smiled. When Quinn felt her move, the blonde looked up to her with questioning eyes.

This was it.

Rachel extended her hand to Quinn and smiled as if nothing happened, "Hi. I saw you alone here in the theater and I was wondering what you were doing alone in this lonely place."

Quinn's eyebrows knotted in confusion.

The diva chuckled, "I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Rachel. Rachel Berry."

Rachel's hand remained extended waiting for Quinn to take it. She hoped that Quinn understood what she was trying to do.

_Starting over._

Seconds passed and Quinn's eyes darted from Rachel to her hand, then to Rachel again. She looked as if she was trying to comprehend what was happening. Rachel felt nervous. What if Quinn didn't want to start over again?

What if Quinn indeed wanted to start over but did she want to start over with Rachel?

Before her insecurities ate her, she saw Quinn smile.

_Oh, that smile._

Quinn then took her hand and used it to pull herself up so she could stand. Once she fully gained her balance, she looked at Rachel and smirked, "Quinn Fabray."

"That's a nice name."

"Rachel Berry sounds odd."

"Odd as it is, the owner of the name is very much talented and she wants to hear how you've been."

Quinn smiled and nodded, "Well, Rachel. It's nice meeting you and I also wish to hear how you've been."

Quinn's smile was so sincere and Rachel felt herself falling a little more, if that was possible.

She and Quinn walked out of the theater with familiar smiles on their faces. There were a lot to talk about and they have the next few hours to hear about how their lives have been since that night – no, scratch that.

Both of them wanted to hear how each other's lives have been since they graduated from McKinley. Here they were just as how it should have been the whole time. Rachel felt as if she was telling their story backwards:

Here they were today, two old friends meeting again with the same smiles they used to wear when they first met.

Rachel was the school's resident loser, Quinn was the school's most popular girl. Nobody would believe if they knew that Quinn and Rachel fought over the school's quarterback. Nobody would ever believe that Quinn was the person behind the slushy attacks on Rachel. Nobody would ever believe that they used to hate each other. Nobody would ever believe those things because Rachel and Quinn fell in love in senior year – the one year in their lives that they had started to know what love was about.

But sometime in the past, they fell apart.

But both of them knew very well that falling apart didn't mean the end of their story. Both of them knew that even though they've hurt and suffered greatly, this day was bound to come.

Quinn and Rachel spent the past five years learning what love truly meant.

Rachel Berry had love in her hands but she let it go. Quinn Fabray fell in love but she _had _to let go. They both learned the hard way.

Looking now at Quinn four years after she let her go, Rachel learned that love was about fighting for the person you love. That the point of love is showing that person what they mean to you. That love is not about not having any fears at all but loving despite having a lot. Love for Rachel Berry came when she wasn't ready but love has different meaning to her now.

Quinn, meanwhile, learned that love was about knowing when to fight and when to surrender. She learned, in the hardest way a person could learn, that to really love someone, you have to learn to set them free. And it took four years for her to learn to set that love free. She looked at love like a butterfly - or maybe a bird, she's not sure; let it fly and if it comes back to you, it's meant to be yours. Surely, what happened years ago carved a deep scar in her life but she knew just recently that some things had to happen for her to learn things that she'll never learn otherwise.

Five years since graduation, four years since that night, and two weeks since Lilibeth's opening night, Rachel and Quinn were still Rachel and Quinn. Only, this time, they were two old sweethearts meeting again. One of them was given the second chance, while the other one was given a future choice.

What they have learned about love seemed to contradict with each other. And even though they were still Rachel and Quinn, they weren't anymore the Rachel and Quinn that shared the view about something they've shared so deeply before.

But despite the differences, they learned one thing about love that was same for both of them. Love, for love to work, it had to be built around the courage of going too far, no matter what the outcome would be. Love was about taking chances and believing that it was all worth it.

Rachel knew what she was feeling, she was sure of what it was but she wasn't sure about how Quinn felt. And though she was sitting comfortably with Quinn on their way to JFK airport, questions filled her mind.

Was it possible for someone to still love you despite what you've done?

Was it possible for someone to still love you despite what you've done just for the sake of who you've been?

Rachel didn't know but she was willing to work hard to get "yes" as the answer to those questions.

As they arrived at JFK, they did what most people do at airports from baggage registration to booking confirmation. As they sat amongst the people who were waiting for their respective flights, Rachel and Quinn sat in silence at first. They were still getting used to their _starting over_ process.

None of them knew how it was supposed to be but both of them wanted it to work.

Here it was. This is what Brittany was talking about when she said about jumping into the sea of future opportunities.

"So, Quinn, tell me about UCLA," Rachel started.

Quinn looked at her quizzically at first until the blonde smiled and took a deep breath.

Rachel felt her whole being hung on to Quinn's deep inhale and exhale. She looked at Quinn expecting her to say, "I don't want to talk about it" but no, it wasn't what Quinn said. It took two to four sentences before Rachel realized that Quinn was already talking about her life at UCLA.

There Quinn was telling Rachel how miserable she was but the blonde didn't show any shame or guilt or hurt. She was just Quinn, telling an old friend about how she suffered and eventually recovered.

In the middle of Quinn's stories, Rachel smiled. _They were starting over._

For the next two hours of waiting in the airport, both of them talked about how their lives have been when they were apart. Rachel talked about Julliard, Quinn about UCLA, Rachel about Broadway, Quinn about Hollywood. There were a lot of laughs and jokes and every time Rachel heard Quinn's laugh, she felt warm. She felt collected. She felt... in love.

Again, it was one of those little moments that Rachel lived for. Quinn's laugh. It was the laugh that once made her want to be the funniest person on Earth and it will be the same laugh that Rachel would want to hear... as long as she lives.

Five years since graduation, four years since that night, two weeks since Lilibeth opened, and approximately three hours after they've _met once again_, Rachel and Quinn were sharing stories about their life, like they used to.

_But was it that easy?_ Rachel thought.

Was it just as easy as taking Quinn to an empty New Amsterdam Theater?

Was it just as easy as introducing herself pretending to have met for the first time?

Was it?

Rachel had to shake this off. She didn't need any distraction as of now. And all she did was to keep in mind what Brittany said before they slept last night:

_"Rach, there would be bad times. Once you start over with Q, it's never gonna be easy. We know her. But you can't give up on her. If Santana gave up on me, we'd never be here today. It's okay to make a mistake once, Ray. But it's a different note if we keep repeating them. You gave up on her once, don't do it again now. The last person Q needs in her life is someone who will not fight for her. That's not you, Rach because you love her. Just remember that bad things will happen. Don't expect it to be easy. Besides, how many times have we tried to forget something only to have it slammed back to our face? Don't give up on Q the way you never gave on your dreams."_

Maybe it wasn't entirely over, or maybe it was but as they boarded their plane that will send them back to Lima, Rachel told herself that no, she will not give on Quinn.

Not this time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: We're going back to Lima. Glee kids, Mr. Schue, wait, what? Oh, Rachel and Quinn's parents? Do they know? I guess we'll see.<strong>_

_**Sometimes, when I re-read this chapter, I myself wondered, what did Brittany mean when she said that it's not gonna be easy? Hmmmm. LOL. **_


	35. Chapter 35: Back To Lima

**Author's Note: Thank you! Again, you've all been so wonderful. I can't thank you enough. I am so happy that I have touched people's lives through this fic. It's been crazy! Haha. I hope you all keep reading. Thank you!**

* * *

><p>It was by around 11 in the evening when the captain announced that they were already within the parameters of Lima.<p>

Rachel's eyes opened and she then realized that she and Quinn fell asleep in the middle of chatting about... it was probably Lord Tubbington (well that's the last thing she can remember).

She turned to her right and saw Quinn soundly sleeping. Her head was turned towards Rachel and Rachel almost lost a breath at the close proximity. _Wow. Quinn. Even in sleep, she still looked amazing._

If only Rachel could, she would stare at her a little bit longer but the captain wasalready speaking his farewell words and she knew they had to leave the plane in amatter of minutes.

"Quinn," she called softly trying not to startle the blonde. Quinn only responded with a sleepy groan. "Quinn, we're here," she called again, this time a little louder.

Quinn slowly opened her eyes and once she opened her eyes, she met Rachel's. The brunette smiled dearly, "Wake up, sleepyhead. We're in Lima."

"Mmmmmorning," Quinn said as she smiled as well. She slowly propped herself up and fixed her features. "Were you talking when I fell asleep?" she shyly asked.

Rachel shook her head as she said, "No. I think we fell asleep at the same time."

"You slept?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Rachel asked.

Quinn almost laughed, "Sorry. I thought you drank a case of Red Bull before we left New York."

Rachel smiled and as the captain announced that they we're landing, Rachel leaned closer to Quinn as she tightened the blonde's seatbelt. She moved and Quinn adjusted herself so Rachel can adjust it easier for her. They moved in rhythm to each other as if it was the most natural thing and the best part? Both of them didn't even notice it.

A few minutes more and they found themselves walking towards Rachel's dads in the waiting area of Port Columbus International Airport.

Rachel, in some dramatic fashion, ran towards her dads and hugged both of them at the same time while Quinn walked smilingly towards them. Quinn knew her mother wouldn't be there to pick her up because her mom was alone at the house and can never afford to drive from Lima to Columbus, so Quinn just told her to stay at home. Judy called the Berry men and asked if Rachel's dad could give her a lift. Of course, the Berry's didn't mind - at all.

When Quinn approached the Berry men, something in the air shifted.

Hiram, Rachel's Jewish dad - the fair-skinned one - came to Quinn and hugged her as if she was also their daughter. Rachel just watched the commotion as the taller of Rachel's dads, Leroy - the African-American one - approached Quinn and gave her a silent hug. People who didn't know them would have thought that they we're one family considering her dads' affection toward Quinn.

She was excited as hell to see her dads but she knew there was something they weren't telling her. Rachel was excited as hell to come home to where she grew up but something about her dads made her suddenly feel nervous.

The two hour ride from Columbus to Lima was filled with almost silence except from the occasional questions from Hiram that both of them answered. Rachel was too nervous she can't even force herself to speak or talk. Quinn was even more talkative than her. Hiram and Quinn, and sometimes Leroy talked about Rachel's drunken moments and laughed comfortably about it. Her dads seemed so comfortable with Quinn. The four of them sang at some of the songs that played on the radio but after an hour of driving, Quinn fell asleep and an awkward silence filled the atmosphere of their small SUV.

When they pulled over in front of the Fabray residence, Judy met them and thanked them. Judy even invited them to come inside for coffee but Hiram insisted that they should go home already and save the coffee for some other time, probably after Santana and Brittany's wedding.

Rachel saw her Daddy Hiram talk to Judy silently, as if trying to keep their conversation private as Quinn and her Dad Leroy gathered Quinn's luggage from the back of the SUV. A few more minutes and her dads said goodbye to Judy as she approached Quinn.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she smilingly asked.

"Yeah, I guess. We have to go meet the other Glee girls, right?" Quinn said lazily. Her voice sounded a bit tired.

Rachel playfully cupped Quinn's face with her hands and smiled, "Go get some rest. You really seem tired."

Quinn sleepily nodded.

Rachel then leaned forward gave Quinn a quick hug then whispered, "It was nice meeting you."

She felt Quinn smile.

"It's my pleasure meeting you," Quinn whispered as well.

As Rachel walked back to their car and Quinn walked to thank her fathers, her eyes met Judy's questioning eyes. Her system froze for a moment and she held eye contact with Quinn's mother for a fraction of second until she felt a knot in her stomach. The particular knot in her stomach felt awful that she had to look away from Judy's gaze as she climbed back to their car.

The silent five-minute drive from the Fabray's to the Berry's felt like eternity to Rachel. She can't stop herself from thinking at that short moment she shared with Judy back there.

She hadn't come home to Lima since she left and apparently things have changed a lot.

There were more houses, more cars but even though there was more life in Lima, it was still sleepy Lima. But the change she never saw coming was the friendship between Judy and her fathers.

Under the shadows of Russell Fabray, Rachel thought that Judy would always be the one who never wanted to be around married gay men, not to mention being inter-racial. But the moment that she saw Judy and her dads shared earlier, something told Rachel that she's yet to hear a lot of stories.

Before they reached their house, Rachel already had two questions in her mind: why did her dads hug Quinn like that back there and why were her dads close to Judy Fabray all of a sudden?

o-o-o-o-o

Two in the morning and the Berry's sat by their petite kitchen island having their hot cocoa in tentative silence.

Rachel was damned tired and sleepy but the scenario earlier made it impossible for her to sleep soundly and she'd rather stay awake than sleep lightly because if there was anything worse than having not enough sleep, it's a fake sleep.

Leroy and Hiram exchanged looks at each other as Rachel waited for the answer to her questions. And just by the way they looked at each other; Rachel knew already that there was some sort of doom waiting for her.

"Judy knows about you and Quinn," Leroy said disturbing the almost five-minute silence.

Rachel's eye grew wide at the news.

Okay, so she never looked back at Lima for five years and this is what was waiting for her: Judy Fabray knowing about her _relationship _with Quinn. And as far as she can remember, that _relationship _is not something any parent would be happy to hear about.

Her dads knew about her _relationship _with Quinn.

Rachel told them about her when the Berry men celebrated New Year in New York when she was on her sophomore year in Julliard. She told them about how their _relationship _blossomed in senior high school and was surprised that her dads "sort of knew" already.

But the Berry men were totally devastated when they heard about that night.

She was completely honest to them. She told them why she did it and she told them about _letting her on_ for a year. They were mad at her and they lectured her for many reasons Rachel knew was right.

But they were only mad at her for a while. Rachel was still their princess and they knew that Rachel's decision that night also broke her apart.

The Berry men liked Quinn ever since senior year. They had met the blonde because of the many nights they spent at the Berry household playing a lot of board games. Rachel won Scrabble of course but Hiram ruled the Snakes and Ladders. Leroy used to win Monopoly, but when Quinn Fabray joined, he found himself title-less. He cannot believe how good Quinn was at strategies.

And though they weren't innocent to the fact that Quinn was the one that tormented Rachel in the past, they gave her a chance because aside from seeing Rachel happy with Quinn, the blonde did her best to prove herself to them.

When they heard about Rachel's decision to kick Quinn out, they felt bad not just because of how Rachel did it but also because they knew Quinn loved their daughter for real. They felt as if they lost a daughter as well because they missed Quinn calling them "dad" and "daddy" just like how Rachel addressed them.

Hiram scooted closer to Rachel and put a hand on hers.

"Quinn came home on summer before she went to junior college. She looked-"

"Terrible," Leroy saved Hiram the drama.

Rachel gasped.

She knew a person who suffered from bulimia could really look terrible and awful but when the word "terrible" came from one of her fathers, they do mean it was terrible.

"Baby, I told you we can save this story for later. Get some sleep," Hiram said as he caressed Rachel's hand.

"No, Daddy, Dad. I want to hear it."

Again, Hiram and Leroy exchanged looks.

Leroy sighed as he looked straight into Rachel's eyes, "UCLA had to send Quinn home for that summer because she needed intense medical attention."

Rachel swallowed.

"Judy was devastated when she saw Quinn that day because all this time, Quinn told her that she was getting better. When UCLA asked her to sign those therapy papers, she called Quinn but our Quinn just told her that it wasn't all that serious," Hiram discussed.

"And since it was the only therapy papers that needed to be signed, Judy believed that Quinn was getting better," Leroy continued. "Well that is, until the day Quinn came home with Santana and a representative from UCLA."

Again, Rachel swallowed. She knew it was bad but she didn't know it was this bad.

"While Quinn was asleep and after the rep from the school left, Santana told Judy everything. Everything," Hiram said as Rachel's tears started to form.

She felt sorry for Quinn, scared of Judy and ashamed of herself.

"When Judy found out, she came to us."

"Did she-"

"No, baby. She didn't come here with a gun or something," Hiram said as he tried to hold back his tears as well. "She came here crying. She asked for our help to look out for Quinn because she can't do it alone."

Leroy continued, "She was under shock for a while. We knew she was mad at some short time but she treated the situation like an adult and just stayed strong for Quinn."

Rachel's tears fell as her hands shook, "Was she mad that Quinn was…?"

Leroy shook his head, "No. She always knew."

Despite the tears, Rachel's eyes grew wide in confusion.

"Rachel, baby. We may not be in your generation but we know how our daughters think and act. Judy already saw it in you in senior year when you spent many of those sleepovers at Quinn's. She knew and though she wasn't entirely open to it, she slowly worked on accepting it because she didn't want our Quinn to hurt anymore."

"Does she hate me?"

Leroy and Hiram exchanged looks. Leroy nodded at Hiram telling him to proceed.

"No. But she doesn't understand."

Again Rachel's tears fell.

"Dad, I was scared."

"Baby, we understand and we know where you're coming from but Judy is Quinn's mother and she saw Q at her lowest. We saw her and for quite some time, we can't even look at her in the eyes," Leroy said as she sighed. His eyes were also filled with unshed tears.

"But Quinn came to us. She knocked here one evening, crying," Hiram said as finally, his tears fell. "She begged for us to help her because it hurt so much."

The words were too big to fit inside Rachel's system. Prom queen Quinn, HBIC Quinn, Head Cheerio Quinn, mean girl Quinn, defensive Quinn – came to the Berry's _begging _for help because it hurt so much? Rachel felt her heart break at the realization that _she _broke Quinn. She broke the one person she loved so much.

After a few minutes of complete silence, Leroy chuckled. Hiram and Rachel looked at him as he said, "Sorry. I can't help but recall when Santana came here warning us about Quinn's situation and saying that she doesn't care if we are elders, she said she'd kill us if we let Quinn down."

Hiram let out a small smile as so did Rachel.

"We sort of bonded over that summer; us, Judy, Quinn, Santana, the Lopezes," Leroy said as he gave Rachel an encouraging smile. "Even the Lopez family loved Quinn."

"That Santana kid," Hiram said as he smilingly shook his head, "She was so strong for Quinn. She was even fearless expressing how much she hated you but she said she respects us because of how we loved Quinn."

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. So, this is what happened here while she was busy living a lie.

She smiled at her fathers, "Thank you, dads. Thank you for looking out for her."

"We did it for you because if you knew, you would have said the same thing. We know you love her," Hiram said as he pulled Rachel close to her.

Rachel sighed. Way too much information.

Way too much.

Even if she had more questions, she just decided to leave it in the air for a while. She also needed to give herself a space to breathe. So after sharing a moment of silence with his dads, she said good night to them but even before she made it out of the kitchen, Hiram called her attention.

"Rachel," Hiram called as Rachel stopped on her tracks but didn't turn to look at him.

"How are you and Quinn?"

Rachel sighed. She didn't look at her dads as she answered, "I thought we were starting over. But after what I've heard, I'm not so sure anymore."

That and Rachel headed straight to her room with that unfamiliar rush of guilt. She had felt so guilty before but this was guilt in a different level.

Once in the life of the wonderful Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry ruined her.

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel woke up that morning with a tad of nostalgia. She woke up in the same old bed inside her same old room and it brought her somewhat same old feeling. She smiled as she felt 17 again. Only, after she checked her phone, she realized that it wasn't the same old time anymore.

_**See ya l8r 4 my bridal bash. i gotta get san. shes checking out the stewardess**_

It was Brittany. She must have received the text at around dawn. Brittany and Santana were supposed to leave New York early this morning. Brittany's bridal bash will be later that night and Santana's will be tomorrow.

Quinn arranged Santana's bridal bash as Rachel planned Brittany's but still Quinn organized it. She'd always been the organized one.

Then, like a lightning strike, her previous conversation with her dads echoed inside her mind. And she recognized three things:

One, she needs a sit down talk with Judy.

Two, she feels a whole lot guilty. Guilty as hell. Guilty as charged. Kill her now and she'd still fell guilty.

And three, she had to pretend that she isn't guilty because yesterday, she and Quinn started over.

Item number one would have to wait for Rachel's courage to gather, number two is something she cannot change and item number three was just... hard.

Yes, she knew that Quinn suffered from bulimia. Rachel might have read a lot of articles concerning the sickness but it never really hit her how much it could have affected Quinn's life - or rather, the lives of people around her.

And when she saw Judy stare at her last night, she couldn't really comprehend what the stare meant. She and Judy got along well in senior year. Judy respected her when she came for sleepovers. She talked to her civilly. And despite their differences, Rachel was sure Judy approved of her _friendship_ with Quinn back then. Despite their many differences, they were alike in one simple thing - they both loved Quinn. But all that acting civil - Rachel knew - was bound to change now.

Yes, Judy may not have the best history of being a mother to Quinn but she tried to make it to her and Frannie (Quinn's sister) after she kicked their father out. She even reached out to Quinn one time suggesting that they should get Beth back and raise her as a Fabray. Of course, Quinn didn't agree but still, it's the thought that counts. And though Rachel could use Judy's past irresponsibility as a mother, the diva knew better. She was still Quinn's mom, she has every right to be mad at Rachel after what she's done.

Before she climbed out of bed, she began thinking again. _Wow. Her neurons have been working hard lately._

And just thinking about it, Rachel felt tired and exhausted. She had to win Santana back and it was damned hard. But she didn't get the memo that to fix things, she had to win the entire world back.

She felt a certain pain in her heart. How did it have to get this far?

How could something she once had be this hard to retrieve?

She had to shake this off.

_The last person Quinn needs right now is someone that will give up on her. That's not you, Rach because you love her._

Brittany's words echoed in her brain replacing the whispering of emotional fatigue she felt earlier as she went to the bathroom and showered off everything.

o-o-o-o-o

After around two hours, Rachel found herself sitting in one of the booths inside the now-improved Breadstix. She had to meet Quinn for brunch because they needed to talk about Brit's bridal shower.

_Wow. Even Breadstix has changed._

Before, it was dull and lonely. In high school, the seats were brown or black and the whole restaurant was lifeless. Rachel smirked as she sipped her pure black coffee remembering that Breadstix used to be the only decent restaurant in Lima. Now, Breadstix had some sort of color already. The chairs were in cool shades of red, the tables were either black or white and the floor was patterned in alternate black and white tiles. It looked like a cheap diner if this was New York but they were in Lima, right?

Rachel looked outside and realized that - unlike before - Breadstix now has its competitions. Just across Breadstix stood a small Starbucks Cafe and a few blocks away, Subway was there and it apparently took Breadtix's title as the most visited restaurant in Lima.

She would have wanted to have the brunch at Burger King (which already served vegan-friendly burgers) or at Arby's for their baked potato and garden salad but senior year prom queen Quinn Fabray insisted that they should have it at Breadstix because she missed it a lot. Who was Rachel to deprive _her queen_ of what she wanted?

So, there, she sat at Breadstix five minutes earlier than their meeting time waiting for Quinn (who she declared as the queen of her life just a sentence ago). A few more sips of coffee and Rachel caught a glimpse of Quinn entering the restaurant.

As always, she looked radiant. _Quinn Fabray in that light blue dress? Fantastic._

The moment Quinn sat in front of Rachel, she said, "Wow, Rach. It's Lima and you're still early."

"It's Lima, that's why I'm early. There's not many reasons to be late," Rachel chuckled.

"Correct," Quinn nodded.

Rachel then called the attention of a waitress standing just a couple of meters away from them. After ordering Mediterranean Salad for Quinn (she still remembers that this is Quinn's favorite meal in Breadstix) and some vegan pasta for herself, Rachel turned to Quinn as the waitress disappeared.

"Have you got Brit a cup already?" Rachel asked as she saw Quinn trying to hold an excited smile.

"Yeah," Quinn said.

"Looks like you're pretty excited for what you have for Brit."

"Pretty much. I put a lot of thinking to it," Quinn said. "How about you?"

"Of course, I had it made last week," Rachel proudly said.

As their food was served, they talked and finalized Brittany's Tea Party Bridal Bash. Of course, the tea cup party was to give honor to Glee's best original song, "My Cup".

Each of the guests - who are actually the Glee girls, which include Kurt - will be bringing a customized cup that reminded them of Brittany or something that they want Brittany to remember even if she was already married. The bash will be held at Rachel's since she's the one with the largest and cleanest basement among the Glee girls.

As they sat right there, Rachel looked at Quinn and thought at how much the blonde had to endure. Quinn was there, comfortably talking to her like nothing happened but it didn't help Rachel knowing how miserable Quinn was.

Yes, yesterday, she decided to leave things in the past but staring at Quinn right there, she cannot believe that the beautiful girl was also the same broken bulimic girl who only asked to be loved in return.

Rachel believed Brittany when she said it wasn't gonna be easy. Of course, it wouldn't be easy. She had to win Quinn back and Quinn alone was a hard test considering the walls around her. She had to win Judy, Santana, the world back. But it was only then she realized that as much as this battle was against all odds, it was equally a battle against herself.

Knowing what she knew now, she had to convince herself that Quinn _could _still forgive her. She had to make herself believe that Quinn could still trust her. She had to believe that Quinn could still love her.

Rachel never felt hopeless in her life. Even during the time that she got slushies and insults everyday, even if everyone told her that she would never get to Broadway… she never felt hopeless. She never felt like she never deserved what she liked because she knew she deserve everything if she worked hard for it.

She never felt so little, so insecure.

Never. Never until today.

o-o-o-o-o

_**JSYK, the whole Glee club knows.**_

This text from Santana and Rachel found herself observing everyone.

After a tiring process of setting up the basement for Brit's bridal bash with Quinn - and sometimes her fathers – Rachel found herself on the actual bridal shower.

She and Quinn had been successful getting the look they had aimed for. The room was delightfully covered in shades of pink. The curtains, the newly installed tentative wallpapers, the seat and table covers, the pillows - they all played from the slightest to the darkest shade of Brit's favorite color… not!

Yellow was Brittany's favorite. Pink was Rachel's.

And Rachel arranged this.

_God!_ Quinn even tried to brainwash her out of the pinkish idea but Rachel insisted. Somehow, after everything was settled, the tea party looked so Brittany although it has Rachel colored everywhere. The petite pinkish white table was set up in the middle of the basement as small light pink porcelain cups rested on top of it beside two medium sized white (with pink polka dots) pots. There was a small vase of deep pink carnation flowers in the middle of the table as the chairs beside the very-Berry table were designed with a Persian pink cloth.

_Oh God. Quinn had never seen so much shades of pink in her entire life._

The only thing missing was Hello Kitty!

The whole room looked like as if Katy Perry was going to do a re-shoot of her "I Kissed a Girl" music video. If she didn't know better, Quinn would have guessed that Rachel kept a dozen of feather pillows and they can go pillow fighting until they run out.

Still, it was so Brittany for the mere fact that they were having a tea party! A tea party for goodness sake!

As for Rachel, she still managed to smile and laugh with everyone despite the observing she was doing. When she received Santana's text, she thought that the entire Glee club will not talk to her but somehow, they have acted normal... towards Quinn.

And maybe, they were normal towards Rachel because normal for them was not really paying attention to her. The Glee girls have always been petulant towards her, so she can't really tell the difference.

Despite her thoughts, she didn't miss Tina's baby bump and Mercedes' huge weight loss. She was still curvy but damn, she looked better - maybe this is what Idol does to you. She also didn't miss the happy smile on Brittany's face as she talked to Kurt about Santana. Rachel noticed that each day their wedding day got closer, Brittany seemed to bloom. She seemed happy. And Rachel knows that Brittany was trying hard not to make her excitement obvious but the dancer miserably failed every time. She was looking at Brittany with that content smile on her face, at least, there's one less lonely person on Earth. Kurt, of course, still was the best dressed. Nobody ever really tried to compete with that.

She was forced out of her thoughts when a pair of arms snaked around her waist from behind. She shivered at the contact and she felt goosebumps all over her. She could feel herself blush at the moment.

She knew who owned these hands. She knew them _very well._

She tilted her head to see - to confirm - who it was, only to find out that indeed, it was Quinn.

_Damn. It was Quinn!_

Quinn's arms were around her waist! The blonde was hugging her from the back! Their bodies are pressed against each other! Quinn was resting her chin on Rachel's shoulder! Rachel can already smell Quinn's Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue perfume. She felt her heart skip a beat. Breathing suddenly became so hard. Quinn was so close she could already see the usually unnoticed green strands in her eyes. Quinn was so close Rachel could already smell her breath. Quinn was so close Rachel could almost... kiss her.

"It's almost time for the cup thing," Quinn said as she pulled Rachel closer.

_Damn. What's got into Quinn?_

Rachel looked around expecting to see Santana with a grin that would say they were just playing on her but there's no Santana everywhere. She caught a glimpse of Mercedes' intense gaze on her before she turned her head back to Quinn.

_Why was Quinn hugging her? _

_ Oh, if Quinn wouldn't get off me soon, I might lose it. Barbra, help me._

Then, those two disturbing polka dotted tea pots caught Rachel's attention. Of course!

_The tea._

Rachel felt a slight pinch in her heart when she realized that Quinn was already _slightly _intoxicated with _the tea_. Of course, Quinn would never hug her like this if the girl was all sober. Those two cutie pots right there weren't as innocent as they look. The chubby tea pot contained black tea – spiked with rum and whiskey. The slimmer and taller pot had some pure tea leaves, mixed with margarita and lime. All of which Quinn made herself bragging about what she has learned in LA.

It was still a tea party, right?

"Quinn? How much have you drunk already?" Rachel asked managing a scolding tone despite her best efforts to keep herself together

"A li… little," Quinn answered as she grinned sheepishly.

As far as what everyone could remember, Quinn was the angry drunk. But Quinn only gets the angry drunk once she's drunk, as in way too drunk. But tipsy Quinn was clingy Quinn. Tipsy Quinn was the shamelessly sweet Quinn. Tipsy Quinn was _flirty _Quinn.

It was as if destiny played a joke. The moment Rachel thought about _flirty _Quinn, the blonde began drumming her fingers on Rachel's stomach. She was beating her fingers along with the tune of Avril Lavigne's 'Hot' playing mildly on the speakers.

_You make me so hot, makes me wanna drop_

_ Oh, God. Can a song get any flirtier? _Rachel wanted to die at the thought that Quinn was indeed hugging her. She liked the feeling of it. Quinn's arms around her, God! She'd give anything. But at that moment, it was so tempting. It was intoxicating. She hasn't had _tea _yet but she already felt high. Quinn was her drug, always been. What scared her most was how puny her self control was. More of this would probably cause world war three between her and Santana. Quinn needed to detach herself from Rachel or Rachel would rather kiss her and die than let that moment of closeness pass her by.

_I can hardly breathe, you make me wanna scream. You're so fabulous._

Then, Quinn started swaying with the tune of the _flirty _song. She still held the diva close to her and it caused the smaller girl to sway with her.

_ Are we flirty dancing?_

_ You're so good to me, baby, baby. _

Oh yes, indeed. Quinn was damn good to her.

Rachel smirked. She swayed playfully with Quinn like it was just okay as she still silently fought with the urge of pinning Quinn against the wall, push herself close to the blonde and –

"I'm not drunk," Quinn said pulling Rachel out of her _flirty _thoughts.

"Yeah, right," Rachel rolled her eyes. Inside, she was dying. If she had wanted enough, she would have moved away from Quinn but the irrational lobe of her brain has immobilized her entire body. Her mind told her body to stay right there and feel the torture.

She closed her eyes for a moment as the blonde remained clinging to her like they were a couple or something. If she didn't know better, Rachel would believe that this was _their _bridal bash.

"Rachel!" Brittany called from across the room. She turned to Brittany and caught that teasing grin Brittany's face. "Take Quinn here now! I wanna get my cups!" she demanded.

Again, Brittany was saving her.

But who said she wanted to be saved from this very _flirty _scene?

"Come on, Quinn, let's give Brit our gift," she said a little too silently. She dreaded saying this. She wanted to stay there. Just as she was about to move towards Brittany, Quinn held her tightly on place.

"Do we really need to?" the blonde said in a husky voice.

Rachel felt herself blush and shiver and die and live again. _Flirty _Quinn was very… She can't even…

The blonde suddenly chuckled as she removed her arms around Rachel's waist. "I'm sorry," Quinn said laughingly. Rachel already missed Quinn's warmth. Quinn chuckled again.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Quinn said as she grinned at Rachel. "You were so stiff. Defensive much," Quinn said as she threw her hands in the air and walked towards the rest of the Glee girls.

Rachel smirked at how adorable flirty Quinn was. She shook her head as she met Brittany's eyes again. It's gonna be a long night.

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><p><em><strong>I think the previous chapters have been light, really. Well, as you probably know by now, they are just preparation for the developing emotional torture. LOL. Thanks for keeping up!<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Drunk!Quinn. Angry!Quinn. Hmmmm. **_


	36. Chapter 36: Undo It

**Author's Note: Thank you! Thank you for those wonderful reviews. Y'all have been really, really awesome! Thank you for keeping up with me! And if you loved flirty!Quinn, I did too! Oh well, let's get moving. Reviews, please.**

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><p>Still a little too high from the whole flirty Quinn incident, Rachel gathered herself back together and joined the gang.<p>

Few minutes more and the cup thing, as tipsy Quinn would put it, started.

The Glee girls were already a little bit tipsy but they all managed to entertain Brittany with their cups especially made for her.

Tina came in first. The pregnant Asian beauty was laughing before she even started talking. Remember, Tina was the happy drunk; and yes, she was laughing with the other happy drunk, Mercedes. Tina gave Brittany a yellow cup that had a small text imprinted in the middle: "Mr. Schue: Who knows what a ballad is?" Below the first text was larger and bolder text saying: "It's a male duck." - Brittany S. Pierce.

Everyone laughed at the memory.

"I have always loved Brit's one liners!" Tina said as she laughed and exchanged hugs with Brittany.

"San's gonna love this," she said as she placed Tina's cup on the table.

While everyone was busy laughing, Quinn moved closer to Rachel who was sitting on the deep pink couch just a few feet away from the table where the other girls gathered around. And soon as she felt Quinn's arms around her waist, Rachel felt goosebumps all over again.

Tipsy Quinn on the attack.

"You having a good time?" Quinn asked smilingly.

Rachel felt her breath hitch. Oh God! Quinn was tracing patters on the small of her back, "Yeah. How about you?"

"I'm having a fantastic time. I haven't drunk a lot for a long time," Quinn said, with a flirty low voice.

Kurt came next. He stood beside Brittany and grinned at the group. His cheeks were a little flushed probably because of alcohol. He started, "Well, as much as I loved the ballad, male ducks, I came up with my own favorite Brit moment as well."

"Get the hell on with it!" Quinn yelled teasingly from where she sat _flirting_ with Rachel. Rachel's eyes grew wide in mixed embarrassment and surprise at the different Quinn beside her. She had to stop herself from laughing at Quinn's bizarre behavior.

After all heads shot Quinn's direction to confirm it was her heckling Kurt out, they just giggled realizing that the blonde was indeed tipsy and they again turned to Kurt.

"Moving on," Kurt said as he handed Brittany a cup that was designed with swirls of yellow and black. Just like Tina's, a text was imprinted: "Kurt: What are you going as for Halloween?" A larger and bolder text was written under it: "I'm going as a peanut allergy." - Brittany Susan Pierce.

As Kurt retold the story, everyone laughed including Brittany, who blushed at her own high school bloopers.

By the time the laughs died down and Mercedes stood up for her turn, Rachel found Quinn lounging on the couch with her head on the diva's lap. Quinn was laughing for some reason as she found Rachel's hand by playing close-open with it, like a child learning how to close and open her hands. Rachel's free hand found Quinn's blonde locks and also played with it.

"Girl, I had to think so much about this," Mercedes started as she stood next to Brittany and handed her a cup that was just plain white but had some scribbles in it. "Remember when you said 'I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany. Bitch.'?"

Brittany laughed at the memory. It was during Glee's Britney Spears era.

"Yeah," she replied as everyone laughed at Mercedes' impersonation of Brittany's infamous line.

"Well, when I saw Brittany at Idol two weeks ago, hell! I needed to do it!" Mercedes said as Brittany looked at what was scribbled on the cup: "It's Brittany. Bitch." The text was written in what looked like a penmanship of some girly person. Mercedes then continued, "Britney wrote that herself. If you look at the other side of the cup, Britney even signed it."

Brittany turned the cup and saw the popstar's autograph. The blonde then stood and gave Mercedes a hug, "This is awesome. I love it!" She turned to Tina and Kurt, "I love yours too, Tina and Kurt!"

"Oh, before I forget!" Mercedes said as she took another cup from out of nowhere and handed it to Brittany. The black porcelain cup was in a shape of a duck. Its edges are yellow and on the left side wrote: "To Satan and Brit".

Everyone laughed at the "Satan", including Brittany.

"That's from Lauren. She made it herself. She's into pottery you know," Mercedes revealed as she sat back to her seat.

"But this isn't a pot," Brittany said as she placed Lauren's cup together with the other cups. Everyone just shrugged at the comment and decided not to spoil Brittany's new innocence yet.

"Quinn! Stop pinching my nose!" Rachel said laughingly as she tried to shove Quinn's hand that had been pinching her nose since they started talking about Lauren. Everyone was looking at them now since they were waiting for Quinn to come next.

"It's your turn Quinn," Kurt called in a somewhat-hesitant tone. "Stop flirting with Rachel," Kurt said as he rolled his eyes.

Rachel stiffened at the comment but Quinn seemed to not notice at all. She sweetly smiled at Rachel who nearly died at what Quinn said next.

"You're so beautiful, Rach," Quinn said smilingly as she rose from the couch and walked towards the front of the Glee girls – whose jaws dropped at what the blonde had said.

_You're so beautiful, Rach._

It echoed inside Rachel's head. She felt warm on her cheeks and she could swear she's on her darkest shade of red. She couldn't feel her whole system; it seemed to have frozen at what Quinn said.

_You're so beautiful, Rach._

It lived inside Rachel. It hit her like a shot of rain on a dessert. She felt alive. Yes, Quinn was drunk but Rachel could probably lie to herself forever if it meant looking into those hazel eyes that adored her beauty. Quinn had always been the one who told her was beautiful. Quinn had always been the one that told her that she didn't need to be the Quinn Fabray type of pretty. Rachel recalled it: to Quinn, she had always been beautiful in many ways other people won't care to look at. Rachel recalled the blonde saying it in senior year: _"Rachel, you're the most beautiful girl for me."_

Rachel felt her heart swell. Oh, God. It won't take long until she loses her control. This flirty Quinn was really getting on to Rachel.

"Why's everyone so silent suddenly?" Quinn said as her eyes looked a tad sleepy and tipsy. She handed the red and white colored cup to Brittany whose eyes glittered upon seeing it. Brittany's reaction seemed to have toned the mood cooler as everyone looked at Quinn expectantly. They somehow shoved the flirting for a while.

But not Rachel. She just sat still and tried to absorb what just happened.

"I drew that one," Quinn said in a playful voice. "You know, you two are meant for each other," Quinn said as she turned to Brittany and smiled again, this time, it was sweet and genuine. She was drunk but Brittany knew she meant it.

Brittany gripped tightly at the cup and stared at Quinn as her eyes started to well. The cup was in Cheerios theme color – red and white. There were sketches of other Glee club members in black and white but the only ones that were colored were the three of them in Cheerios uniform: Quinn was in her signature hands-on-her-hips pose with her signature icy glare, while Santana was wearing her sexy pout, her pinky was linked with Brittany's whose face was just plain poker. They were in their signature Cheerio ponytail and just by simply looking at it brought memories to Brittany.

"I know, a lot of things will change after your marriage. But aside from making me feel more like the third wheel," Quinn chuckled, "I want you both to remember that no matter how things change, The Unholy Trinity will always be the same." This, and Brittany launched herself to Quinn and murmured thank you's. Quinn just smiled and giggled while everyone passed around the cup to take a look at how Quinn drew them even in black and white.

Rachel sat still. She looked at Quinn and Brittany's exchange and even though the high hasn't left her body yet, she smiled. She was falling harder for Quinn – let alone the tipsy Quinn.

She came next and as she stood beside Brittany. She could still felt herself shiver at what took place earlier but she can't ruin Brittany's night. Mercedes dragged Quinn to where she was sitting and if Rachel saw it right, she saw that Mercedes had a serious look on her face. Before she started speaking, she saw Quinn start targeting Tina's hair as the Asian just laughed at how adorable Quinn was. None of them had seen Quinn like this but it was obvious that they loved it and just didn't show it in need of protecting the blonde.

They were all keeping Quinn from Rachel. This is one thing the brunette knew.

They may not rub it into her face but their stares made it quite obvious. She was hurt, of course. But she understood where the girls were coming from. Yes, Quinn was a horrible Glee teammate but they all knew she was troubled. The blonde did try to make it up to them in senior year and it was enough for them that Quinn at least tried. Her efforts were never as extravagant but just knowing that Quinn Fabray freaking tried, it was more than enough.

Rachel cleared her throat. Before, she had to win the Glee club for them to trust her with the solos, but now, she wanted to win them for a different reason. Somehow, she felt she needed the club's approval. Damn, she needed the world's approval to convince herself that she still deserved her.

"I would guess," Kurt said trying to break the long silence. "There's a gold star in it," he finished as he smiled.

Rachel nodded. The cup indeed had gold stars but it also had ducks and Lois and Clark from Smallville. Brittany nodded as she smiled genuinely. "It isn't much. I know. But every single detail in that cup means something to me, Brit. You're the only friend I've had that kept up with me to end, so, I want you to remember me in every single detail of your life," she said as Brittany hugged her. They laughed at the drawing of a whiskey bottle on one side of the cup and they both knew that it was something had strengthened their friendship.

As the cup ceremony passed, everyone – except Rachel – went and dug for more tea which, an hour later, resulted to a huge, wild party.

Rachel missed getting drunk but she told herself not to get drunk tonight because of Quinn. One, she needed to take care of her. She saw this as an opportunity to show the blonde – and everyone – that she cared about her. Two, she can't bear with the images of her drunk self flirting with the tipsy Quinn. Self- control, she had it best when she's sober. So she decided to focus on that.

And while everyone was busy partying the night away, Rachel had struggled watching out for Quinn – who always had a way to sneak into those polka-dotted tea pots.

"Enough already," Rachel said as she approached Quinn and instantly took the shot of spiked black tea from the blonde.

Quinn pouted, "Come on, Rach. I'm having a good time here."

"Not like this," she scolded Quinn as she pulled her up from the seat and gently dragged her away from the tempting table. Quinn just giggled. When Rachel turned to look at her, Quinn pouted as if asking Rachel to let her drink some more.

Rachel smiled as she shook her head, "Don't give me that pout, Fabray. I'm not buying it."

Quinn pouted even more as she pulled Rachel closer to her and snaked her arms around the shorter girl's waist, "Please. Pretty please?"

Rachel was instantly mesmerized and shocked and high, "No."

Quinn baby pouted in the most adorable way Rachel could ever imagine. She could feel herself giving in. Quinn always knew how to please her and make her agree to her requests. But still, "No."

Quinn dropped the pout and Rachel wondered how she was able to transform from being flirty to HBIC mode in just a fraction of second. "Fine," Quinn muttered as she removed her arms from Rachel's waist, turned her back and walked away. She threw her hands in the air and said, "I don't understand why you care now!"

For probably the nth time that day, Rachel's system froze. She tried to take in what the blonde just said. She didn't know but the blonde's statement definitely came with a venomous accusation. She had never heard Quinn talk bad about the incident way back but it was only then she realized.

Yes, Santana was mad. Judy was disappointed. The whole Glee club was protective. But could it be that Quinn held a grudge?

Was it possible that Quinn was angry? At Rachel? At the situation?

Rachel felt like crying. She had come to like tipsy Quinn but as much as tipsy Quinn was flirty Quinn, tipsy Quinn was also honest Quinn. A few shots of that tea could transform her into angry Quinn.

She knew she could bear with everyone's hatred and disappointment but Rachel didn't know how she would take if it was Quinn hating her. She knew Quinn loved her but after what the blonde had said, something gave a clue that maybe love just won't be enough to completely bury everything.

o-o-o-o-o

After another hour, everyone was already drunk. Tina and Mercedes were already laughing hysterically as Brittany started her stripper dance while Kurt sang something unfamiliarly rock in the karaoke. Rachel has had two shots of the spiked tea but she was still sober as hell. She had wanted to drink so badly but Quinn was way too drunk to be let alone. Rachel danced with Brittany until her eyes found Quinn.

The blonde was sitting on the couch beside Mercedes and Tina with her head resting on the couch's headrest, her eyes shut and brows knotted. Rachel dreaded this but she knew very well, it had to come.

_Angry Quinn._

Rachel wanted to run. Rachel wanted to bury herself under the covers and just not witness everything that was about to come. But she had to know. _She just needed to know._

Kurt finished singing his weird version of the rock song Puck would have probably sang so well. Kurt bowed dramatically as Tina, Mercedes and Brittany adored him.

"Who's next?" Kurt asked as he looked at the huge flat screen TV to know what the next song was. "Oh, who's belting Carrie Underwood?" Kurt asked as he looked around.

Quinn shot up from her seat and laughed for no clear reason, "My song!"

When Quinn shot up to declare that it was her song, Rachel felt herself smile. She had wanted to hear Quinn's voice for forever and though it has always been enough, she knew that she needed more than just a memory of Quinn singing "Lucky" with Sam.

Yet, when Quinn walked towards the front, Rachel saw Quinn change into something... else.

The blonde walked up the front as her hips moved swiftly with the rhythm of the sexy tune of one Carrie Underwood song that she never really liked before. It burned Rachel's eyes, seeing Quinn with all the sexy look because there was something off with it.

Kurt, Mercedes and Tina all cheered for her as the instruments played heavier. Brittany pretended to watch and enjoy but she also knew something was up with Quinn. Both Brittany and Rachel could admit that they barely remember the last time they saw Quinn like this.

Quinn leaned closer to the microphone and started singing, _I should have known by the way you passed me by, there was something in your eyes and it wasn't right._

Quinn's face was almost emotionless. It was damned straight and even as she smirked somewhere in the second line, she still looked cold... distant.

_I should have walked, but I never had the chance. Everything got out of hand and I let it slide._

The blonde was shaking her head as if saying the lines to herself. Others in the room enjoyed Quinn's performance but not Rachel and maybe not Brittany as well.

Quinn's voice was deceptively smooth and sultry and seductive. It was far different from the all-charming Quinn who sang and won duets with Sam back in junior year. _This_ Quinn had depth not only in her voice but in between lines as well.

_Now I only have myself to blame for falling for your stupid games_

Then it hit Rachel.

_I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face_

Quinn was talking to her.

"_You stole my happy, you made me cry, took the lonely and took me for a ride and I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it_," Quinn sang with much conviction and hidden meaning. She was drunk but man she did sound sober.

Rachel felt her breath hitch. She felt her heart sink.

Quinn was looking at her, straight in the eyes.

_You had my heart, now I want it back. I'm starting to see everything you lack. Oh you blew it, you put me through it. I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it_

And then, Rachel felt lost.

The next part of the song faded into the background and all that was left was she and Quinn staring into each other. No, Rachel was all that was left. Quinn was right there, standing and singing just a couple of feet from her but Rachel felt as if they were miles apart.

She was lost Quinn's hazel-green eyes but not in the way she was used of getting lost in it; and it scared her.

She was looking straight at Quinn's icy glare and she felt dark, empty and wounded.

It had been a while since Quinn looked at her this way.

This was the same icy glare that gave nicknames and threw insults at Rachel before senior year. This was the same look in the eyes of the person who tormented her in high school. This wasn't _her queen_.

She thought that HBIC Quinn was killed and buried within the grounds of McKinley but no, she was right in front of Rachel staring back at her with fire in eyes that burned all of Rachel.

Rachel felt like crying but she can't even force herself to feel anything. The green-eyed monster that was singing to her still had the same effect after all these years. She felt like she didn't have the right to feel anything but scared.

Rachel's hands trembled and just when she thought she'd had enough, same old Quinn threw more at her.

"_Now you only have yourself to blame for playing all those stupid games,"_ Quinn continued singing.

And as if a switch was flicked, everyone stopped head banging to Quinn's performance sensing that a tension suddenly wrapped the place. Even more so when...

Quinn pointed at Rachel, looked her straight into the eyes and sang, "_You're always gonna be the same. And, oh no, you'll never change!_"

Rachel held her breath as Quinn continued singing the same chorus. Quinn never tore her gaze away from the brunette. It was probably the alcohol – hell, it was definitely the alcohol.

She wanted to run. Fuck! Rachel wanted die and just live again when everything didn't hurt this much anymore.

Yes, she stole everything that made Quinn happy – Finn, McKinley and the chance to be loved. She made Quinn cry – hell! She made Quinn sick. She took her for a ride – for a year and then dropped her off hanging somewhere.

Quinn made her point loud and clear and Rachel understood on the dot.

Still, Rachel stood frozen. She feared that if she moved, she'd break into pieces. She was looking into Quinn's eyes and didn't see love like she used to see; in fact, she saw nothing.

She felt a pinch in her stomach but the pinch grew into punches when she saw tears form in Quinn's eyes – but the blonde refused to let them fall, just like what old Quinn would do. They weren't tears of joy or sorrow, they were tears of hidden frustration mixed with doubt and fear.

The song got heavy on the drums and all that Rachel heard was Quinn's voice accusing her, dragging her back to the day that she kicked Quinn out. Quinn was singing a damned country song yet, all that Rachel heard were Quinn's allegations.

Everything that she'd feared to hear was disguising itself into a Carrie Underwood song.

Quinn didn't need to say anything anymore. The message was successfully conveyed to Rachel.

This is what Rachel feared that's why she never came after her before. There were moments that Rachel found herself booking a flight to LA, decided that she needed Quinn in her life. But she also found herself retreating everytime. She had feared Quinn's words. She had feared Quinn's chides or blames. She had runaway for so long from Quinn. She had runaway for so long fearing that everything she knew about her and Quinn would change.

She had always wanted a chance. She had always wanted to come to her and tell her how much she regretted that night. But she had always feared Quinn's hate. She had feared hearing Quinn say what everybody, including herself told her – that she ruined Quinn's life.

Sure, she knew it all the while but it hurt even more when it came from the only person that Rachel saw her future with – the future that she was too scared to take.

The hate hurt when it came from Santana but it would hurt rather deeply when the hate and the blame came from the only person in Rachel's life that loved her because of and in spite of who she was.

Rachel had always wanted one more shot but she never came after Quinn in fear of rejection. She never came after her because she had feared the damage she'd done in Quinn's life.

She wished she could "Undo It" and if she could, she would do things that would lead to Quinn singing a love song instead of something that indicated how much she regretted ever falling for Rachel. But no, Rachel's life didn't come with an undo button or a backspace button. And no matter how much she wanted to hit "enter" a hundred times just so they can get to a whole new page – the previously typed mistakes would always be there just waiting to mess with the present page; just like what it was doing right now.

She had run away from everything for so long, yet, she saw herself right there – on the same ground.

When the song was finished, Tina, Mercedes and Kurt looked at each other before coming into an unspoken agreement to cheer for Quinn and ignore what _really_ happened.

They saw the tension between Rachel and Quinn and they all saw how it affected the diva that still stood where she had been standing all the while.

The three came and complemented Quinn with her performance as the blonde bowed and didn't seem to notice that Rachel had been plastered on the floor completely broken on the inside. Brittany's eyes connected with Mercedes' and the blonde dancer took this as her cue to take Rachel out for a bit.

She approached Rachel and led the unwilling diva out of the room and that's where it all broke.

Rachel sat by the outdoor benches, eyes fixed on a certain rock as tears silently fell from her eyes. A few more seconds and loud sobs came from her. Brittany just settled for drawing random patterns on the diva's back in effort to comfort her.

She didn't know why she was crying, really but it was the most decent thing to do. She was hurt for a reason she'd always known but it seemed like the wounds just got deeper. The same old pain seemed to hurt more.

"Brit," Rachel said in between hiccups. "It hurts so much," she said feeling that tears were never enough and she needed to say it.

"Rach, the battle's just started," Brittany said flatly.

The brunette then covered her face with both of her hands as she continued to sob. "Brit, I can take everyone hating me," she said under her hands. "But not her," Rachel managed despite having a hard time talking and breathing because of the sudden rush of tears.

"But it only just began, R. I've known you for years and this is so not you. You don't give up easily."

"B, you didn't see how she looked at me earlier."

"I did, actually," Brittany said as she took a deep breath. "It scared me to see that side of Quinn. I've been around that side of her a lot in high school and even though we're friends it used to scare me – even San."

Rachel didn't reply. Her mind began running through images of the Queen Bee side of the person she loved.

When Brittany didn't get a response from Rachel, she said, "Q's drunk, Rae."

"Doesn't mean she doesn't mean it."

"Doesn't mean she does."

Brittany had a point. She's always the one who wins.

"Look, R. I know it's hard facing Quinn like this. But honestly? Did you ever think you could just escape Quinn's rage?" Brittany asked but didn't wait for Rachel to answer. "I know you are smart enough to know that somehow, some time in the future you'll face Quinn's ire. She's Quinn freaking Fabray after all. And though she was totally in love with you, you can't just put aside the person that she was all her life before you came."

Rachel hopelessly smiled, "If she's mad, she's mad."

Brittany nodded, "Just like what I said, she's drunk. And we both know Quinn's always been the lightweight here. If she's all sober, she will never make a conscious effort to hurt you. Do you get me?"

"But she hates me."

"No, she doesn't. She doesn't anymore."

"She did hate me?"

"You honestly think she never hated you?"

This silenced Rachel.

"She did, okay? But maybe she never really admitted it even to herself because she loves you that much. But it's in the past. I can see it in Q. She's let go of it all. But in times like this, when she's drunk – that she's most vulnerable. Beth, remember? And it happens to everyone when they're vulnerable; they feel it all over again. But it doesn't mean that she'll wake up tomorrow and be mad at you forever."

Rachel's sobbing eventually stopped but silent tears still fell.

"That Quinn who sang a song inside is indeed drunk angry Quinn but she's not drunk Quinn angry at Rachel. Okay?" Brittany reassured. "I've known Q for a while now and more than the angry Quinn, I saw the hurt and scared Quinn."

"I hate myself for bringing her back to the version of herself she didn't even like."

"While I hate you for doing just that, I'm still thankful that at least we get to see what Quinn could be when she made an effort to be the person she's meant to be. You also made that possible, Rach."

"Oh, God! I love her," Rachel half-smiled as she wiped her tears off her cheeks.

Brittany smiled as she stood and offered Rachel a hand, "Now, let's get back inside. You have a drunk blonde to take care of."

Rachel took Brittany's hand and stood, "Sorry for ruining your night, B."

"It's not ruined. It's just a little dramatic. But what can you expect? Rachel Berry planned it," Brittany said smilingly.

"Thank you, Rach. Your pink party rocks."

"It's a tea party!"

Brittany playfully raised an eyebrow, mimicking her typical high school Brittany reaction, "Really? I thought it was a pink party."

Rachel playfully smacked Brittany in the arm as she laughed.

"See? That's the Rachel I know."

"Thank you, B."

"No probs, Rach. We'll get inside now but whatever else Quinn might be singing, don't just assume she hates you. Hating you and expressing her musical frustration are two different things."

Rachel and Brittany laughed at the use of "musical frustration" as they walked back inside.

And Brittany was just as right. When they walked back inside, Quinn was already singing – murmuring to the tune of – "Gives You Hell", while Mercedes tried to stop her laughter from the raging but not highly emotional Quinn.

Tina and Kurt were just laughing at the scene and as the song hit Rachel, Brittany gave her a reassuring hand squeeze reminding her of what they previously talked about.

Even though it hurt, even though she almost lost it, Rachel walked towards Quinn, grabbed the other microphone and started singing with Quinn – who gladly welcomed her as her duet partner. It was almost automatic, Mercedes looked at Rachel and the smaller diva just nodded at the Idol aspirant. Mercedes seemed to have understood as she just let Quinn sing the night away with Rachel.

Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Brittany just drank the night while Quinn and Rachel argued constantly all night about what song to sing next. Rachel came about with old classic songs while Quinn – who always got what she wanted – sang a lot of loud songs. She didn't really sing them though; she just recited the lyrics like a hopeless fan girl of some popular popstar.

And in the middle of all the singing, the flirting lived.

Rachel and Quinn laughed with each other, hugged each other and sometimes, the hug was just a bit too long. Sometimes, when they hugged, they giggled while murmuring words both of them didn't really understand. Quinn was high of alcohol but Rachel was high of Quinn.

The icy glare that was in Quinn's eyes a few moments earlier was replaced with something Rachel could only put as happiness. Yes, Rachel didn't want to hold firmly to this assumption because Quinn was drunk. But there was something so different in Quinn's eyes that told Rachel that maybe drunk Quinn has the ability to be happy Quinn.

And just like those few moments, Rachel chose to ignore reality if it meant being around Quinn like this.

o-o-o-o-o

Few more hours passed and Quinn found herself being carried towards Rachel's room. Everything was all blurry and she felt a lot dizzy but she was still aware of what was happening around her. Despite the influence of alcohol, Quinn remembered how she sang with Rachel the whole night, how she danced with Brittany and how she played and won beer pong against Mercedes. If the amount of liquor intake she had that night was any indication, surely, she enjoyed Brittany's bridal shower.

When Leroy carefully set her down the bed and as he began telling Rachel what and what not to do with a drunken Quinn, the blonde cannot help but smile. Rachel was listening so intently and she was nodding vigorously like a child being told what to do on first day of school.

After Leroy kissed Rachel good night, the diva carefully sat beside Quinn. Quinn remained in the position that Leroy had left her. She wasn't pretending to be asleep, she was just feeling too dizzy to move one bit but she didn't open her eyes because she loved the feeling when Rachel started to stroke her hair slowly.

Honestly, Quinn didn't know what she was thinking when she picked that Carrie Underwood song earlier. She wanted to sing it because it explained everything she felt – she felt it but never really acknowledged ever feeling it. It was only when she's drunk that she lets herself to be mad at Rachel or at what happened – that's why she never really drank a lot after sophomore year.

She kept herself from drinking a lot because she didn't want to be angry at Rachel. It killed and even though she had every right to be mad, she can't force herself to be because she loved Rachel – in every way a person could be loved.

When she was singing that damned country song, she felt herself unleash something that she had repressed for so long. She felt her old self taking over. She felt like head Cheerio Quinn who didn't care about anything but herself. And though she was more than successful in conveying the message to "Man Hands", Quinn felt horrible.

She didn't want to be that Quinn anymore. She wanted the Quinn that Rachel turned her into because she was happier being that Quinn. That's why when Rachel joined her for their many duets later that night – although she was only half aware of it – she didn't stop Rachel from turning her back into that Quinn she liked.

"You know what Quinn," Rachel softly said pulling Quinn out of her thoughts, "I missed you."

Rachel was still stroking her hair completely unaware that Quinn was awake. Her voice was so soft and silent and it felt so intimate.

"I hope that when you wake up, you won't remember anything," Rachel said as she took a deep breath.

Quinn felt Rachel's breath suddenly become heavier. The diva was struggling to stop herself from crying. "If you remember everything when you wake up, you'd restrain yourself from being that comfortable around me again and I don't want that to happen."

Quinn felt her own breath snag.

Rachel chuckled, "I feel like a fool right now talking to you and you don't even hear me." The diva paused. She took a deep breath before she spoke again…

"I never stopped caring about you, Quinn. Never."

The blonde felt her heart swell with something she never really understood. But it felt good.

"I had to say that and I know I'll never get the courage to say it to you when you're sober. But at least I had to say it."

Few more minutes passed without a word from Rachel. She just kept stroking Quinn's hair until the blonde drifted to her slumber. She slept with a smile on her face because even though it didn't seem to make sense now, it was enough for Quinn to know that Rachel always cared about her.

It was enough for her because at least... at least the feeling was mutual.

She never stopped caring about Rachel.

And she doesn't think she ever will.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So, there you go. Another loooong chapter. I'm truly sorry about that. The song was "Undo It" by Carrie Underwood, of course. LOL, by the way, the original idea for this fic came when I heard Carrie's "Starts With Goodbye". (If you'll listen to it, you'll know just why.)<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Hmmmm. How hard can it more be for Rachel? With Puck, Sam and Finn around, you'll never know. LOL**_


	37. Chapter 37: Reasons

**A/N: Thank you all so much! Again, y'all have been amazing! Thank you! Thank you.**

**And I'm so glad that many of you understand that I am taking this story emotions-based. So yeah, I knoooow it's basically slow. But when you've hurt and you've been hurt like that, can things be really easy? Hmmm. Well, let's get this on now. Sorry for rambling!**

* * *

><p>"Why does Brit get the wild tea party and I get... this!" Santana cried as she dropped her backpack on the couch in the Fabray living room.<p>

"And why does Brit-Brit get her bridal bash at night and I get mine at..." Santana paused to check her wrist watch and continued, "fucking 7 am!"

"Stop complaining, Santana," Rachel said as she sat on the couch beside Sam.

"And why do I get to have my bridal bash with a bunch of boys?" Santana impatiently asked Rachel who was once again amused at Sam's impersonations.

Indeed, it was 7 in the morning and they all gathered at the Fabray residence for Santana's whole-day bridal bash. And indeed, Santana was not a morning person.

"Fuck! Fabray! Get down here already!" Santana yelled as she felt a football hit her head. Her head shot towards the offender from across the room and saw Puck grinning. "Fuck you, Puckerman!"

"Same goes, morning blabbermouth," Puck said as he shrugged.

Quinn rushed down from upstairs with her backpack at hand. "God damn it, Santana! Can't you keep it down for a while?" The blonde then slowed down as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"You woke me up at six in the morning, Fabray!" Santana said as she grabbed and her backpack and headed out the door.

"Let's get moving, baby mama," Puck said as he followed Santana out. Sam followed Puck as Mike ran out of the house from the kitchen – where he practically spent whole morning dwelling on the bagels that Judy baked for them.

Rachel then approached Quinn and smiled sweetly, "How's the head?"

"Fine, I guess. The painkillers really helped. Thanks," Quinn smiled.

Just like those many unscripted comfortable scenes, Rachel grabbed Quinn's backpack from her and carried it for the blonde. Rachel then moved to the couch and carried her backpack as well, "Ready to go?"

Quinn nodded, "Yeah."

Rachel – while carrying two backpacks – was on her way out when Quinn stopped her.

"Rach, you don't really have to carry my bags for me," Quinn said as she smiled shyly.

Rachel smiled as she said, "I want to, Quinn." The diva then winked as she walked out of the door leaving Quinn smiling to herself.

o-o-o-o-o

"Seriously, Q? A camper?" Santana said as Quinn and Rachel finally made it outside the Fabray residence. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest as she leaned on the 29-foot RV parked across the street.

Rachel grinned as she and Quinn approached the rest of guys – Sam, Mike, Finn and Puck - and Santana. "Oh, Santana. I'm sure you'll love this trip!" Rachel answered for Quinn.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Whatev. But Q, seriously?"

Quinn shrugged, "I got discounts."

"God! Fabray! You're so unpredictable," Santana huffed as she moved towards the front of the RV where Finn was checking if everything was working well. "Done already, Hudson?"

Finn turned to her as he peeked at Rachel and Quinn who both smiled at him. He displayed his signature lopsided smile as he said, "Yeah. It's all good."

"Very well, Finn. Now let's get moving, guys," Rachel called as Mike and Sam excitedly boarded the camper while Finn took the driver's seat as Puck sat across him. Rachel, Santana and Quinn were left outside still with the Latina's disbelief.

"Come on, Q!" Santana hopelessly sighed. "A camping? For my bridal shower? With a bunch of boys! Seriously! I seriously thought it was Vegas or something."

Quinn smiled as she teasingly put a hand on Santana's shoulder, "The person you're about to marry is quite adventurous, S. You might want to start accepting the idea that you'll have a lot of this in the future."

"I agree with Quinn. After we graduated from Julliard, Brit invited me to go skydiving and bungee jumping. Of course, I didn't come because it would be such a big threat to my life. But she went. She sky dived and bungee jumped... alone!"

Quinn laughed, "And if it helps to prepare you, Brit is planning your honeymoon in Australia. In the Desert Cave Hotel."

Santana looked at Rachel and Quinn in confusion.

"Which by the way is world's only underground hotel," Rachel said as she took Quinn's hand and dragged her gently inside the camper.

Santana was left with the ambiguous look on her face. A few more seconds, she threw her hands in the air hopelessly as she boarded the camper as well.

o-o-o-o-o

The group drove for the next hour and a half. Finn was the one driving, while Puck played his guitar and – like what everyone would expect from a group of kids from a glee club – they all jammed with different songs, mostly the ones they sang as a group in high school.

Santana was of course hesitant at first but when Puck began playing 'Valerie', of course, the softness in Santana came out as she sang with the group. Sam also jammed with the group as well as Mike, who only ruined the group's blending with his unique – as how Rachel would put it – voice. Quinn and Rachel sang with the group as well while they were sitting beside each other on one of the sofa beds. All the while, Rachel's arm was around Quinn's waist as the blonde rested her head on top Rachel's shoulder only moving if necessary.

All the while, they were acting like their old selves not knowing that Santana had been observing them. The Latina just smirked secretly every time she caught Rachel looking at Quinn with those loving eyes and instantly looked away whenever Quinn looks and smiles at her.

All the while, they were sharing a rather intimate moment – inside a damned RV – but they didn't complain or revoke, they didn't even notice it. It came out naturally and Santana could admit to herself that only times like this did she ever saw Quinn really happy. And she knew for a fact that Quinn was indeed happy without even trying.

She will never admit it out loud but for that, she was thankful for Rachel.

When they reached the confines of Conover in Miami County, which was almost an hour and a half from Lima, Santana was already mesmerized by the view that unfolded in front of her. Looking out the small window of the RV, she saw nothing but the beauty of nature. Huge fields, endless tree forests, country animals – it amazed her and it felt so peaceful.

Since she moved to LA and New York, she nearly forgot that forests exists somewhere in the world. Blame New York for being a _concrete jungle_. If not for the fake lawn on the school grounds of UCLA and NYU, Santana would have forgotten what a lawn looked like.

Rachel was also doing the same. She looked out the small window as her arm wrapped sleeping Quinn's waist. The blonde's head was resting on Rachel's shoulder and Rachel felt really good.

They were on a country trip, the view was stunning, Quinn was beside her and everything was perfect. If she could, she would freeze time and just stay right there where nothing felt wrong.

She wasn't _the _Rachel Berry at this moment. There were no paparazzi waiting for her to make a mistake. She could go out without make and Quinn would still think she was beautiful, _just like last night_.

"Are we there yet?" Quinn mumbled still not moving from leaning on to Rachel.

"Almost," Rachel said a little hesitantly. She didn't want the ride to end.

Quinn slowly lifted her head from Rachel's shoulder and smiled at the brunette the moment their eyes met. "Sorry," she said as she smiled. "Have I been sleeping?"

Rachel smiled as she stretched her arms upward and yawned a little, "Approximately 45 minutes."

Quinn's eyes grew wide, "I've been sleeping on your shoulder for 45 minutes?"

Rachel smilingly nodded, "Yes and don't worry about it. I kind of prepared for it. I knew you'd be sleeping."

Quinn smiled.

"How's the head?"

"Perfectly fine. I gotta give credit to my 45-minute pillow," Quinn said smilingly.

"Stop smiling already," Santana, who was sitting across them, said as she smirked.

Quinn ducked her head in slight embarrassment while Rachel just shrugged. Saved by the bell, the camper pulled over in front of Kiser Lake State Park. But not a few seconds more, just after Finn handed a piece of paper to the parking officer and they began to move inside the campsite.

Santana rolled her eyes when she saw nothing but a few picnic tables, a vast lake, grass, tress and more trees.

"We're here!" Finn excitedly declared as he pulled the RV over just beside a huge slumped oak tree.

Quinn shot Santana a look as she stood, smiled and said, "We're hiking in two hours."

"What?" Santana yelled as she furiously stood. "We're hiking?"

"Duh?" Rachel replied for Quinn. "Of course, we are! Do you think we'll just stay right here and talk all day?"

"Oh, God!" Santana threw her hands in the air as she moved towards the small room at the rear of the camper. "I'm gonna go change. I won'ts go in there with these boots on," she snapped.

But even before Santana disappeared, she turned to Quinn and took revenge, "Fabray, you're gonna pay for this someday. Make sure you don't make me the maid of honor if you marry the midget."

Quinn and Rachel froze as Santana smirked in victory.

o-o-o-o-o

Two hours later and the group began hiking.

Quinn led the way with Mike and Sam behind her. They were talking about some weird Hollywood movie and Rachel could do nothing even if she felt a little jealous every time Sam put his hand on the small of Quinn's back in effort to guide her.

Santana and Puck – who were enjoying whiskey in their silver flasks – trailed behind the leading trio while Rachel and Finn trailed behind all of them – letting the brunette see everything.

Rachel didn't fail to notice that even though Puck was having a good time talking to Santana about hitting on girls, the boy held Quinn's bottle of water in his hand and constantly offered it to the blonde whenever she stopped to rest. Rachel also didn't miss when Puck offered to carry Quinn's camping bag – an offer that he didn't let the blonde refuse.

She was hiking yet, Rachel's minds drifted to the first stop they had half an hour ago. She felt a rush of jealousy when she saw Quinn wiping sweat off Puck's forehead and the boy's sweet smile at the gesture.

_I should be doing that to Quinn._

She also didn't fail to see when Sam playfully brought Quinn on a piggyback right after the blonde complained that her feet were hurting.

_These guys! They're ruining it! This is supposedly my alone time with Quinn!_

Her face might have shown everything bad she was feeling because Finn suddenly broke the silence.

"Are you okay, Rach?" Finn asked the question that Rachel probably heard a lot of times already from the guy.

She looked up to Finn and faked a smile, "Yeah. I'm just a little tired."

"I heard Brit's party went well."

"Yeah, Brit loved it," Rachel said with her eyes still focused on Quinn who was now laughing with Mike at Sam's portrayal of Lord Voldemort.

_What is so fascinating about that? It's impersonation! It's not the best form of acting._

"How are you?" Finn asked as he adjusted the two bags he was carrying, the one was his and the other was Rachel's. Well, it was chivalrous but he only realized he needed to carry Rachel's bag when Puck took Quinn's.

"I'm fine," Rachel said as she unconsciously stomped her foot in disgust when she saw Quinn slap Sam's cheek playfully as the blonde guy – who was already clean cut – just laughed and proceeded with his timeless Sean Connery impersonation.

_Who does he think he is? He's Justin Bieber and Quinn is Selena Gomez? Come on!_

"I've been good, too," Finn said as Rachel looked at him realizing that she didn't have the proper manners to even ask the boy about him. "I met someone and she's a great girl," he shared.

Rachel smiled. She was happy for Finn. "That's very good to hear, Finn," she said sincerely, finally breaking out of the jealousy she'd been feeling since they started hiking.

"How about you? Have you met... someone?" Finn asked hesitantly. He wanted to ask if she met a new boy but since he knew about Quinn, he just settled for the safe term.

Rachel nearly laughed, "You can ask me anything, you know."

Finn just smiled, "Yeah. I just did."

Rachel nodded as she sighed, "Yeah, I met a lot of new people. But if you're really asking me if I'm dating anyone, no."

"How long have you been single?" Finn asked.

Rachel just laughed, "I lost track. I honestly don't know."

Finn laughed as well, "That says something. You don't really forget things."

"Yeah," Rachel nodded.

Silence.

Rachel knew that Finn's silence meant that the boy was dying to ask him something.

"Go on Finn, ask me."

Finn shook his head, "You know me too well."

"Of course, Finn. I made a list of the meanings of your facial expressions in high school, remember? I can still recall them, mind you."

Silence.

"Do you still -"

"Like her?" Rachel finished the question for Finn as she looked at Quinn. "Yeah. I'm in love with her, Finn," she clarified once and for all.

o-o-o-o-o

When lunch time came, Rachel's jealousy bank had been 90% full.

Throughout the entire walk, she could only remember watching Sam and Quinn get all flirty and clingy with each other. It didn't help that at one point during the hike, Puck approached Quinn and talked just amongst themselves silently. It stirred all of Rachel.

Every time Puck and Sam came close to Quinn – all she wanted to do was call Quinn and demand that the blonde should just stay right with her. But who was she to demand?

It was funny and at the same time pathetic that Rachel even had to act as if she fell and used the best of her acting skills to appear terribly hurt just to get Quinn's attention. She was somehow successful at getting the blonde's attention as Quinn turned to look at her and Rachel was sure she saw the look of worry in her eyes. But just when Quinn made a move to rescue her, damn Finn had to stop everyone and told them that he got her. _Oh God! _Finn wouldn't believe if Rachel told him how many times she cursed him in her mind for choosing to care now. _Really, Finn? You choose to care now?_

Finn's acting all-caring caused Quinn to step back and just watch Finn carry Rachel, who insisted she was fine, even though she just screamed she was in pain. _Good! Nobody questioned her miraculous healing._

If Quinn had presented herself to take care of her, Rachel would have pretended to be injured all day.

None of her attempts to be alone with Quinn had worked so far. She tried talking to her about work – which was a desperate move on her part – but Santana practically yelled at the diva saying that she didn't want to hear any New York-related stuff. Santana even had to ban the word "Broadway" and "medicine" while on the hike.

Rachel even pretended to have seen a snake and screamed – only to give Puck more points because the guy just jumped to find the snake like he was willing to die for anyone in the group. She intended to act like she was scared of the snake so she could act all vulnerable around Quinn but damned Puck ruined it. Rachel was so jealous when she saw the impressed looked on Quinn's face with what Puck did.

Quinn was having a good time reuniting with Puck and Sam while Rachel was stuck with Finn who knew nothing but his life as a reserve quarterback.

Rachel just watched everyone prepare for lunch because she was far too disappointed with herself: one, for acting like a jealous girlfriend and two, for not making her plans work.

"Come on, Berry," Santana's voice came from out of nowhere. Rachel was far too disoriented to realize that Santana was standing beside her watching Quinn, Sam, Mike and Puck get busy with lunch. "Feeling weak on your knees already?" the Latina teased with a smirk.

"I don't think so, Santana. Despite my busy theater schedule, I can assure you that I am physically fit and not two hours of hiking can drain me off and-"

"Gaaaah!" Santana rolled her eyes. "Too much words!"

Rachel ducked her head feeling somewhat violated.

"I wasn't talking about the hike, Frodo," Santana said as she sighed. "I'm talking about that," she pointed at Quinn.

Rachel just looked at her waiting for her to continue.

"You think I don't know you've been trying to get Quinn's attention all this time?"

Rachel wanted to lie but this was Santana. To Rachel, she was like a living lie-detector machine.

A walking encyclopedia, a talking dictionary and a living lie-detector machine? Look at what kind of a friendship they could be. Wait, 'til we get Brittany some kind of a label.

"You have all day today to get Barbie's attention but if you're all chicken shit like you are right now, you're never gonna get her to even look at you."

"Puck and Sam's all over her, Santana. How am I supposed to compete with them?"

"Who said it's a competition?" Santana almost laughed. "Believe me, after all you've put her into, there's no competition."

Just like most times that she talked to the Latina, she felt guilty.

"And that includes even all the good shit."

Rachel slowly looked at Santana trying to process what she heard but the Latina refused to look at her. _Is Santana saying that Puck and Sam and others weren't competition because Rachel was different from them – in a good way?_

"Berry, I'm starting to like this thing that Quinn put together so please, just for the sake of this whole... forest, stop the drama," Santana said rolling her eyes.

For a full minute of complete silence, Santana and Rachel just stared at Quinn and for some reason, they smiled at the same time.

"She's so graceful," Rachel said still looking at Quinn who was already dancing playfully around with Mike.

Santana nodded in agreement, "Took me years to bring that back."

"Thank you, Santana," Rachel said not even sure why she was thanking the Latina now. But she felt thankful for Santana because she was there when Quinn needed someone.

The Latina just shook her head and started to walk back towards the group, "Whatever, Berry. I know you're going to try harder now but I'm gonna warn you."

Santana turned to Rachel tentatively, "After you get past Sam and Puck, you'd still have to get through me." The Latina resumed her walking but ended, "I can flirt with Quinn, you know."

Rachel smiled to herself.

Santana was challenging her.

But this time, Rachel knew there was something about the challenge more than anger or hate. Santana was pushing her to try harder.

_And that was she was going to do._

With a smile and a refreshed glimmer of hope, Rachel walked towards the rest of group.

"You're just in time, Rach," Quinn greeted her with a smile. "You hungry?"

For a moment, the images of flirty Quinn flashed in the Rachel's mind but she had to shrug it off. "Yeah, a lot. Did Puck prepare something vegan? For me?"

Quinn shook her head and sadly said, "No."

Rachel's heartbeat raced. Oh, no. She's never had meat since she was 13.

_There's no way I'm gonna eat those grilled burgers no matter how delicious they look. Does Puck hate me so much that he forgot about how-_

"Puck didn't but I did," Quinn said interrupting Rachel's thoughts. This caused Rachel to smile. Quinn smiled back, "You seriously think I'd let Puck handle your very sensitive taste, Ms. Berry?"

_Of course. Quinn's gonna do it for her. Quinn's always thought of her. _Always.

"I didn't doubt that for a second," Rachel replied.

"Good," Quinn replied as she sat on the cloth that Mike and Puck set up for them. Quinn tore her gaze from Rachel's and started taking out food from her own backpack, "When it comes to you, I nearly don't trust anyone but myself."

Rachel had to process it. Again, Quinn was saying something like she used to say to her when they were still together. She didn't know what it meant but she decided to just sit beside Quinn and eat the food she knew Quinn spent time and effort for. "Thank you, Quinn," she said as she smiled.

Quinn smiled back, "No need to thank me all the time, Rach."

Rachel sat beside Quinn all lunch long and exchanged looks with Santana every time Quinn did something really nice for her like simple things such as filling her glass for her or asking her if she wanted to eat some more. Rachel missed this about Quinn. The blonde had a special way of making Rachel feel special. Most of the time, it's on the simplest of ways.

Probably, this is one of the main reasons why she fell in love with Quinn. Unlike Finn or Jesse, Quinn wasn't all that good with words but her actions spoke of everything her mouth won't even utter. Quinn sure knew what to say when she needed to say it but if there was something different about Quinn Fabray, she isn't a person of many words… she's a person of a thousand deeds.

o-o-o-o-o

The hike resumed and as usual, Rachel was still stuck with Finn. But unlike earlier, Rachel felt better. She actually started to listen to Finn's college stories that centered on football and football and some more football.

Rachel could not believe but Finn actually had a dream. He wanted to start for OSU's team but couldn't get the chance. The diva felt sorry for him but Finn reassured him that he's perfectly happy just because he has someone who supported him all the way.

And in a snap, the sorry that Rachel felt for Finn suddenly stared back at her. Sure, she got out of Ohio and made something of herself but unlike Finn, she doesn't have someone she can share it with.

"I'm happy for you, Finn," Rachel said sincerely with her head bowed.

"Yeah. I hope you'll be happy, too," Finn said putting his hand on Rachel's shoulder. The diva looked up to him and he continued, "You know..." he motioned his head towards Quinn's direction and said, "with her."

Rachel smiled and nodded.

She then turned to look at Quinn's direction and _caught _Quinn looking at them. When their eyes met for a fraction of second, Rachel was sure she had seen that look in Quinn's eyes before. She just wasn't sure when. Before she can even smile at Quinn, the blonde looked away and turned her focus back at Mike. Whatever the look meant, Rachel sure it wasn't very positive.

Rachel just smiled to herself. Quinn was looking at her. It may be a simple glance but to Rachel, _it meant a lot._

Suddenly, Rachel's phone buzzed. She wondered how her phone picked coverage to even receive a message. They were in the woods for goodness' sake! When she checked her phone, indeed, it wasn't a text message but an alarm alert.

_**I think you should check Quinn's pocket or bag right now.**_

Rachel scrolled down in confusion.

_**I believe she had stolen your heart. *winks –B**_

Rachel almost laughed at Brittany's cleverness. She looked up and _once again _caught Quinn looking at her. When the blonde looked away, Rachel smiled to herself. Even though she wondered how Brittany was able to set that alarm alert for her, Brittany was right.

Quinn had stolen her heart.

o-o-o-o-o

Finally! Finally!

They reached their destination and both Santana and Rachel couldn't be any happier.

They were already at the top of the trail after almost five hours of hiking. Santana screamed and threw herself with back flat on the ground, "At laaaaaast! Fuck you, Fabray!"

Mike and Sam were already jumping up and down as they overlooked the vast lake from the cliff they had successfully reached. Finn and Puck ran towards them and stretched their arms relieved that the hike was over.

Quinn was silently staring out at the wide beautiful view from the cliff and Rachel took this as her cue to _finally _approach Quinn. She slowly walked towards Quinn despite her desperation and when she stood beside the blonde, she looked at her face.

The former head Cheerio's eyes were sparkling. She was smiling and Rachel knew Quinn was taking in the breathtaking view in front of her. Rachel always knew that Quinn had a thing for beautiful sceneries. The fresh breeze brushed against Quinn's face and hit some of the stray blonde strands that managed to escape Quinn's ponytail. Rachel didn't care if she looked like a smitten puppy at the moment but Quinn looked so peaceful and calm, she didn't even want to speak to disturb it. She just looked at her and took in the view as well.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Quinn asked still gazing at the mesmerizing view of the lake. She thought Rachel was looking at the view as well.

"It is," Rachel replied still looking at Quinn. She was totally not talking about the view of the lake.

"I could stare at it forever," Quinn said smilingly.

Still looking at Quinn and seeing Quinn's smile, Rachel nodded, "Me, too."

When Rachel felt Quinn look at her, she instantly looked out the lake like she was praising its beauty too. She stopped herself from laughing at her own love-struck moment and just settled for enjoying the view as well.

It never really hit her how much nature can help you think but the moment she looked out the lake, she felt warm and contented. And she began thinking again.

Phoebe and Quinn sure have a lot of similarities. Despite Phoebe's physical similarities with Rachel, the diva knew Phoebe was quite her opposite in thousands of ways. This is the reason why Rachel was so jealous of Phoebe. Phoebe was a safe bet. Phoebe was someone you'd always turn to because she'd always be there. In contrast to Phoebe, Rachel was more of a risk because she always wanted more.

Sam, on the other hand, aside from being too charming – was the perfect guy. Good looking, understanding and boyfriend material. She was probably the first person in Quinn's life that didn't love her for her popularity. _She gave her a damn promise ring!_ And Rachel was sure that if Quinn didn't cheat on Sam, they could have lasted longer. Unlike, Sam, Rachel has the tendency to go experimenting on relationships. Yes, she only loves one person at a time and she wasn't a cheater but her constant need of growing could always lead her astray.

Finn, like Sam, was also perfect for Quinn. Only, Quinn didn't deserve someone who only wanted to be with her because she was beautiful and popular. But Finn cared about Quinn and though he abruptly failed so many times, he never intended to hurt Quinn. Finn cared for Quinn so much that he almost believed he loved her. Rachel, like Finn, also cared so much about Quinn. But as much as Rachel was different from Phoebe and Sam, she was similar to Finn in a way even Rachel hated – sometimes, she has the tendency to care more about herself than she cared about Quinn.

_ But Rachel knew that this was bound to change._

Rachel felt a notch in her stomach as she compared herself to the people she considered _competition_. But she was a lot jealous earlier and something gave her the idea that it might not be the last. So, she stood there beside Quinn and contemplated some more.

Puck, out of all the people mentioned above, was the one Rachel feared the most. For one, he cares genuinely about Quinn but most of all, there was _something _about Quinn and Puck that even time could not erase – Beth. They may not have kept the little girl but a special bond would always be in between them, not to mention Puck was Quinn's _first_. The bond that Puck and Quinn shared is so solid that Rachel almost felt her heart cringe every time they looked at each other. Puck, unlike Rachel, didn't have the biggest of dreams. He was contented as long as he had alcohol and sex. But time has changed him, yes, he still liked alcohol and sex but Rachel knew – because of his _history_ with Lauren – that Puck could be just a _man _if he wanted to. Rachel smiled to herself realizing that Quinn is probably the only person able to bring that side out of Puck. And Rachel, unlike Puck, could never put anything first before her dreams.

_Again, Rachel knew that it was bound to change. All of it._

Rachel took a deep breath and as the smell of fresh air hit Rachel's system, she opened her eyes and smiled.

Unlike Phoebe, Sam, Finn and Puck, Rachel had put Quinn into so much hurt.

Unlike Phoebe, Sam, Finn and Puck, Rachel had made Quinn cry and broke her heart so many times.

But Rachel knew four things; and out of the thousands of reasons the world could tell her, she chose to believe in these.

Unlike Phoebe, Sam, Finn and Puck, Rachel doesn't have plans of giving up on her. Unlike the four other people, Rachel was able to bring out a side of Quinn that she wouldn't show to anyone else.

Unlike the rest of the world, Rachel won't turn her back on Quinn… again.

And unlike the rest of the world, Rachel loves Quinn because of and in spite of.

Rachel again felt calm and collected.

Instead of counting reasons why she can't be with Quinn, Rachel started giving herself reasons why she actually can.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I kind of love that scene from R and Q when Quinn was talking about the view. LOL. I love that scene. Anyway, was this chapter short? I had to cut it to avoid major cliffy's in the future. LOL. Hoping for your love and reviews! Yay!<br>**_

_**For the next chapter: Rachel's trust is highly tested. And! Santana's awesomeness.**_


	38. Chapter 38: Denial

**A/N: Again, I'm sorry for this uber late update. So here's another chapter.**

**And, THANK YOU for keeping up with this story. I know it's taking too long or whatever, but I feel thankful that some people are still into this. You guys keep me going! Y'all are awesome.**

* * *

><p>"Oh my God! You're seriously not doing that!" their silence was disturbed by Santana's yelling.<p>

She was yelling at Puck who was grinning at her. Rachel and Quinn turned to look at Puck in confusion.

"Come on, Satan. It'd be fun! And besides, I don't want to walk five hours down that trail again!" Puck said as he turned to the other guys and smirked mischievously. "I'd rather swim."

Rachel's jaw dropped at what Puck said. For some reason, she and Quinn both looked down from the cliff and realized that there was nothing in there but lake water. It was a little too high for Rachel. It's not that kind of cliff that you jump off of just because you can. It's a _real cliff diving _option. Like hell.

"Noah! I am not allowing you to that!" Rachel said in shock.

"Come on! This is Quinn's idea!"

All of them looked at Quinn who only smiled and shrugged.

_Cliff diving._

Santana hissed and rolled her eyes, "I knew it! Fuck you, Fabray! There's no way-"

"San, if Brittany was here, she could've jumped first even without me saying anything about it," Quinn said matter-of-factly as she started to untie her ponytail, signaling that she was getting ready to jump off as well.

If it was possible, Rachel's jaw dropped even more.

"Quinn Fabray, no," Rachel said; the protectiveness was obvious in her voice."You are not cliff diving any minute soon," she finished.

Quinn smiled sweetly at her, "It's either you jump with me or I'll jump alone."

_Ding! _Here comes the torture.

Rachel always knew Quinn can do a lot of things if she wanted to. She's Quinn freaking Fabray. But one of the things she learned about Quinn when they were still together was that the blonde didn't want to do things alone. She always liked to do something with someone she trusted, like a safe refuge. Like a sanctuary, just in case everything else fails.

_It's either you jump with me or I'll jump alone._

Quinn was asking Rachel to jump with her. Does it mean that she _still _trusted her? Rachel contemplated but even before she got into a conclusion, Puck walked a couple of meters backwards. He grinned and before Rachel knew it, Puck ran and took off the cliff.

Rachel gasped.

Santana and Quinn were both amazed as Finn, Sam and Mike cheered.

Not a few seconds more, they heard a huge splash of water and then silence.

Rachel's mind, as usual, advanced and thought that he drowned but even before she could utter an assumption, Puck shouted from down there.

"Fuck yeah!" he shouted and then screamed some more like he was praising some goddess.

All of a sudden, Mike stepped backwards as well.

Rachel knew what was about to come but damn Mike Chang, he had to make it more dramatic. He ran fast and launched himself to the air off the cliff but even before gravity pulled him down, he did a back flip – twice.

Same thing happened next, splash of water, silence and then loud cheers of excitement afterwards.

Rachel could already hear Puck and Mike screeching from down below.

Finn came in next. But before doing so, he and Sam threw two huge tightly-sealed plastic bags down the two guys who didn't catch it but swam anyway to get it. Rachel realized that Finn secured all of the things they came with inside the two plastic bags so that they won't get wet. It was a brilliant idea even it sounded really dumb.

Then, the inevitable happened. Finn jumped off the cliff as boring as he was. But when Finn screamed in excitement along with Puck and Mike, Rachel could swear this was the first time he heard Finn that excited.

"My turn now," Quinn said as she smiled at Rachel. The blonde took a few steps backwards and faced the view they were just looking at earlier. "You coming?"Quinn asked as she extended her hand to Rachel.

_There's no freaking way I'm jumping off!_

"Quinn, I-"

"Can't?" Quinn finished it for her. The blonde smirked and turned to Sam, "You know what to do, Sam. Too bad you'd miss this."

Sam just shrugged and then looked at Rachel, "Quinn planned this. If you will not jump, I'd have to accompany you on the way down the trail."

Rachel heard Santana smirk, "Somehow, I knew that good old Fabray is just down there… doubting that Rachel could ever do something as off-the-edge as this."

_This marked the start of Santana's challenge._

"You're taking too long, Fabray!" Puck shouted from way down there, his voice echoed throughout the space.

Rachel turned to Quinn whose eyes were shining in sheer excitement and determination. The diva smiled seeing this look from Quinn and she sighed in realization that Quinn really wanted to do this. No one can stop her.

If there's one thing she knew well about Quinn, this is it. _If she wants something so bad, nothing can ever stop her from getting it._

Santana then moved closer to Quinn and held her hands, "Come on, Quinn. I'd want to jump with you."

_Santana Lopez' teasing galore. Game on._

Berry – 0, Lopez – 1

"I thought you were afraid. You can't do this, San. You're just as scared as me. Now, let Quinn jump already and then you'll walk with me and Sam," Rachel teased back.

Berry – 1, Lopez – 1

But just like always, she found her words firing back at her. That's what you get when you talk to a Santana Lopez. It doesn't get old.

Santana smirked before getting a point back, "I'd rather take this leap than endure your machine gun mouth and Sam's trouty lips for the next five hours."

Berry – 1, Lopez – 2

Then, Rachel looked at Quinn. The excited look was still in her eyes but she was calmer this time. She was patiently waiting for the discussion to end. If she really wanted to jump so badly, she would have jumped alone a few moments ago. But no, Quinn was there waiting patiently for Rachel to make up her mind.

Rachel knew it. Quinn wanted to jump… with her.

"Oh, I just realized this whole jump is a counterpart of your darned life, Berry," Santana said breaking Rachel's thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

"Here you are again, fearing that one big jig with Quinn. You'll never change, are you?" Santana said looking at straight into her eyes.

Berry – 1, Lopez – 3

The Latina leered again. It wasn't over.

"You always want the hard way, Rachel Berry."

Berry – 1, Lopez – 4

"Santana, I could die!" she retorted hopelessly. She didn't really mean it but she was losing the battle with Santana.

Quinn and Sam chuckled.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Then you die with Quinn."

It was careless, relentless even; but Santana was right. Rachel always wondered how Santana manages to simplify everything. Even if she died jumping – though she knows it wouldn't happen – at least she died holding Quinn's hand.

"We're jumping now, so move your chicken ass out of the way," Santana said a little nervous. She turned to Quinn and said, "This doesn't mean I'm not gonna kill you later, blondie. Watch out, I might drown you."

"Jump with me, Quinn," Rachel said before she could stop it.

Berry – 2, Lopez – 4

Santana smirked as Quinn and Sam looked at her quizzically. Then, Quinn smiled and teased, "You might die, you know? It's kinda scary."

"Fabray!"

The blonde chuckled, "Kidding."

"You sure, Berry? There could be sharks out there," Santana mocked.

"It's a lake, Santana," Rachel said now feeling a little braver.

When she told Quinn to jump with her, she didn't miss the way Quinn's eyes lit up. She really wanted to do this with her.

A cliff dive sure wasn't much of a big deal for friends to do. Still, it's not just the cliff dive itself. It's the test of trust that's being put both on Quinn and Rachel. Rachel for a fact knew she trusted Quinn. The fact that Quinn trusts her was the thing that surprised Rachel. After all this time, Quinn still trusted her.

She was scared as hell but Rachel wasn't confused. _She wasn't going to let Quinn down._

Determined, she walked to where Santana and Quinn were standing. She gave Santana a look and when the Latina let go of Quinn's hand, Rachel promised herself to thank the force above for Santana Lopez. She loved Santana for the girl's awesome sensitivity. She doesn't show it most of the time but Santana is not as heartless as everyone assumed her to be.

She was still Santana Lopez, though. "You can't do it, Rachel," Santana was now laughing and Sam laughed at Santana's mockery.

Ignoring Santana, Rachel took Quinn's hand and clasped it. She felt Quinn clasp back. "You sure?" Quinn asked not looking at her but straight to where they were about to take off.

Rachel nodded.

"She's not sure," Santana teased again.

"I trust you, Quinn."

"Good."

"Do you trust me?" Rachel didn't know where she got the guts to ask. It's probably the excitement.

Quinn smiled, "I _still_ do."

_Earlier, Rachel felt braver. Now, Rachel felt invincible._

She smiled and nodded, "Good. I promise I won't let you down."

"Except you two are going down," Santana teased.

In a matter of seconds, Santana's teasing and Sam's chuckles faded in the background. She and Quinn ran excitedly towards the edge of the cliff, hands intertwined. When she felt her feet fizzle out from solid ground, she clasped Quinn's hand like her life depended on it.

There was a suspension high in the air before she felt the pull of gravity.

She felt her heart swarm in many emotions she can't categorize. Quinn was screaming her heart out. Rachel did the same. And in between the screams of joy and excitement, she needed to say it.

"I love you, Quinn," she whispered.

It was a copy cat of that scene when Quinn shouted her love for Rachel back on that stupid rollercoaster. Rachel's declaration wasn't grand. Hell, it wasn't even a declaration. But she needed to say it because it was the truth.

She didn't even know if Quinn heard it. But when she spoke of love, she felt Quinn's hand grasp hers tighter, like it was the blonde's life support. Rachel wasn't sure. She might have imagined it. But what mattered the most is that _she said it, to the air, to the nature, to gravity… to Quinn._

Before she could prepare herself, she felt the heavy feeling of immersing underwater.

_She did it._

Berry – 3, Lopez – 4

She could hear faint cheers from the guys for a fraction of second until she felt a pair of hands on her waist pulling her up. Emerging from the surface, Rachel caught her breath and without opening her eyes, she screamed!

Quinn was also screaming in thrill of what just happened as the boys cheered around them. They were floating and she could feel Quinn's hands on her waist, guiding her. Rachel could swim but when it came to swimming-related activities, she knew Quinn didn't really trust her abilities. And it hasn't changed.

As she wiped her face to be able to open her eyes, she saw Quinn in front of her beaming. They were all soaked and hyped, not to mention they were wiggling their feet under the water but Quinn was glowing.

_ Is she in heaven? Did she die?_

"You okay?" Quinn asked smilingly.

_She didn't die, indeed. But this is heaven._

Rachel nodded.

It was probably the thrill of the jump or the chilly lake water but Rachel found herself pulling Quinn close to her to hug her. Quinn automatically wrapped her arms around the diva's waist as Rachel wrapped hers on Quinn's neck.

They were wriggling their feet under the water and Quinn was laughing. Rachel had silent tears of joy but she refused to let it show, "That was awesome."

"It was. I'm glad you jumped anyway."

Still in the hug, Rachel whispered, "I could never do it if not for you."

She felt Quinn smile. She was sure she touched that part she had wanted to reach inside Quinn's heart. So, she settled at that. Before the blonde could say anything, Rachel pulled away. She had wanted to stay in Quinn's arms but Santana was still leading by one point_. She did the scoring in her mind, just so you know._

"What's taking you too long, Santana?" Rachel shouted her payback tease.

"Fuck you!" she heard Santana reply. She laughed because it was hilarious. Santana was actually scared. Damn!

She wished she could take a picture of her first victory over Santana.

"Come down here, coward!" she yelled again. Quinn was already laughing.

All of them were looking up now waiting for Sam or Santana to jump.

"She wouldn't jump!" Sam shouted. Everyone could sense he was stopping himself from laughing.

"I am so disappointed, lefty!" Quinn joined the teasing.

"Fuck you, Tubbers!" Santana said. Cursing was the only thing she only knew now.

Puck swam towards Quinn and Rachel – who were still half-cuddling. "Call for plan B now. Time for the real action, baby mama."

Quinn nodded and called up, "Sam!"

"Is it time?" he asked yelling.

"Shoot!" Quinn shouted smiling mischievously.

The next thing Rachel knew, Sam was flying off the cliff with Santana on his arms, carrying her off like how a groom would carry her wife right after their wedding.

Berry – 1,000,000, Lopez – 4

_She won, right?_

Santana was cursing in Spanish. Sam was smiling looking so excited. Finn, Mike and Puck laughed at Santana's reaction but were all ready to rescue just in case. And the best of all?

Quinn was behind Rachel.

The blonde's arms were around her waist, body pressed again Rachel's back. Quinn was laughing comfortably as well. Rachel could hear the relief in Quinn's laugh, maybe because her Plan B worked.

Rachel was happy not just because she won over Santana but mostly because she was there with Quinn.

They were in a less popular place in Ohio – a place which was probably lamer and sleepier than Lima. There were only trees and stinky farm animals, no paparazzi and TV interviews and yellow cabs. There was only Rachel and Quinn and a bunch of other people Rachel once considered as hindrance to her dreams.

But for the meantime, she couldn't ask for more.

Quinn was right there. They weren't fighting, they weren't crying; if anything, they were happy.

It wasn't too much but it was enough for Rachel.

o-o-o-o-o

After a few more minutes of playing in the lake, the kids, err, the group walked back to the campsite. Much to Rachel's pleasure, she had Quinn walking with her.

It was funny, a little bit pathetic but highly endearing that Rachel made sure she never left Quinn's side since they jumped off that cliff, so that neither Puck nor Sam could get her again.

Santana was still cursing Sam in Spanish while the blonde guy was just laughing and enduring the Latina's mild punches. Rachel watched them and thought that, _wow, _Sam had chemistry even with Santana. Mike and Puck were teasing them as Finn silently walked beside her and Quinn.

The three of them were watching Santana shout and laugh with the guys about how Santana ached to sing 'Trouty Mouth', rock version. It was already getting dark and the wind felt a lot colder.

"For the record, Sam and I didn't get past kissing and making out," Santana said laughingly.

Puck laughed, "Man! You told us you had her laid!"

"I told him to say that," Santana chuckled. "Fuck. I was so in love with Brittany, I can't even force myself to fuck someone else without saying her name!"

"The images, Santana. Just eeew," Quinn butted in.

"Shut it, Tubbers. You're not yet off the hook," Santana snapped.

Then, the conversation continued and it got even colder. Rachel was also cold herself but she couldn't stop worrying about Quinn. She was always the one who got cold easily. Not to mention they were all still soaked.

While Quinn was busy interrupting Santana's continuous babbles about how in love she was with Brittany, Rachel looked at Quinn and saw the blonde rub her palms against each other and then press it against her cheeks. It was Quinn's way of getting warm.

Rachel smiled as she remembered that Quinn did it a lot to her when they went to Cincinnati for the lights festival. Every time she got cold because of the December snow, Quinn would rub her palms against each other and gently place them on Rachel's cheeks. Oh, Rachel almost cooed at the memory.

Silently, she felt Finn nudge her arm. Rachel looked up to Finn and saw the guy smiling as he handed her his OSU letterman jacket that he retrieved from one of the plastic bags. The diva's eyebrows crooked in confusion but Finn only nodded his head towards Quinn's direction. He smiled as Rachel took the red-and-white jacket – very much like that of McKinley's, only the letter wasn't "M" but "O".

Finn then took this as his cue to join the rest of the group and leave Quinn and Rachel alone.

Without a word, Rachel draped the jacket around Quinn's shoulder. The blonde looked at her and processed the gesture for a second then smiled at Rachel and shyly ducked her head.

Rachel's alter ego jumped for joy seeing this shy Quinn in front of her.

"Thanks," Quinn smiled.

It's one of those moments that Rachel's _machine gun _mouth chose to shut. Rachel settled for smiling.

"Aren't you cold?" Quinn asked silently.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied. "I feel cold but probably not as cold as you are," she teased.

"I'm not cold," Quinn said shyly.

_Shy Quinn's really starting to make Rachel's heart melt._

"Yes, you are, Ms. Fabray," Rachel said as she linked her arm with Quinn's and they continued walking silently with the other _noisy _Glee kids.

Quinn, on the other hand, just chose to enjoy the comfort that Rachel offered her. She missed being around Rachel like this. It's one of those very rare moments that they didn't get interrupted about work or the past. Maybe, sure, they were being bugged about the past in their minds but what mattered to Quinn was they chose the option that had so much potential of creating such a good memory.

Instead of dwelling on the mistakes of the past, Quinn Fabray knew very well how to learn from them.

She still had her walls but it wasn't all too tough like HBIC Quinn's walls. She just needed someone who wanted to break it – someone who wanted it enough. Like, someone who would actually try to break through it instead of breaking it. Aside from Santana, there was only one person who was able to do that and it was Rachel way back during that fossilized and over used memory lane.

Quinn looked at Rachel and saw how her facial expression changed from one reaction to another as she listened to Santana's stories about…

"…and then Quinn bitched the professor off-"

Her.

Santana was embarrassing her in front of everyone. Under normal circumstances, Quinn would have easily clamped Santana's mouth with her hand so she would stop the impending humiliation.

"…blondie fell off the stairs, butt first!"

But Quinn settled for just watching Rachel throw her head back because of uncontrolled laughter. Quinn laughed as well but for an entire different reason.

Going back to the walls that she built around her, again, it was only Rachel who wanted it enough to actually break through it. And right now, that was what Rachel was doing. She wasn't sure if the diva planned it on a PowerPoint or not, but she was sure that Rachel was making an effort. To what extent? That was what Quinn was willing to find out. Where it leads to? That was one thing Quinn didn't want to think about.

Rachel was taking her steps slowly and to Quinn, this was such a Rachel thing to do when it came to life-altering decisions. Yes, she's aggressive when it came to solos and Broadway shows but Rachel always took a different approach when it came to Quinn. _Slowly, but surely. _Quinn liked this because she doesn't feel pressured or forced. She felt like finally, she had the right and the chance to asses her own feelings.

Quinn was just there walking with Rachel, laughing at Santana's stories about her college bloopers and the blonde felt absolutely glad. She would admit she felt a little… whatever you call it when she saw Rachel with Finn that morning.

Whatever that pain in her stomach meant when she saw the diva laughing with _their _ex the entire morning, it was something Quinn didn't want to discuss anymore. Rachel was so damned twisted in many ways that over thinking about her actions made Quinn's head hurt. Or maybe, _spin._

o-o-o-o-o

Later that evening, while everyone was busy with smores, Santana stood by the lake looking out its extreme calmness. She had a cigarette in one hand and a whiskey bottle on the other.

Perhaps, nobody ever noticed that she was nervous. And she would never admit it but indeed, the wedding terrified her. There was no doubt about her feelings for Brittany but to Santana, getting married was a big thing. She had always wanted marriage to be something sacred, something you only do if you're sure that _that_ person is "the one". To Santana, even in the availability of divorce, being married is something you only do once and cherish it forever.

_Who would've thought Santana was a hopeless romantic?_

She was nervous because finally, she's about to walk down that overrated aisle. She was scared because she knew, unlike the many mistakes she did in her life, she can't afford to be wrong about this one. She can't afford to be wrong upon thinking that Brittany is the one. Truth is, the thought that she was about to call Brittany her _wife _is something she had always imagined but now that it's about to happen, it scared her.

She loved Brittany so much but just like high school Santana Lopez, she was afraid of what the future holds for both of them. Can they survive the pressures of being married and having a family? Can they handle the added pressure of being a married _gay _couple? Santana had more questions in her mind but she knew she wasn't bound to get the answers soon. She loves Brittany but how far can love go?

Santana loved Brittany so much that she knew she'd never survive if Brittany would leave her just because she wasn't a good wife. What if she messed up? What if she breaks them apart? Santana has changed and for sure she wasn't all that bitch anymore but she's still Santana Lopez. She's still who she is. What if that _Santana Lopez _shatters her marriage in the future?

"Nervous?" a voice interrupted her thoughts.

Santana looked to see who it was and saw Quinn. Of course, it's Quinn. Sometimes, she thinks that Quinn had some sort of mind-reading powers. The blonde knows her too well. "Yeah," she replied.

"I know. That's why I wanted you to jump off right there," Quinn said as she smiled. The Latina then handed Quinn her pack of cigarettes and the blonde took one and started puffing as well. Quinn smoked cigarettes occasionally. She smoked cigar when she's stressed or under pressure or mad. Since she started recovering from bulimia, she used cigarette as displacement of everything she felt. Good thing Santana kept this vice on watch.

"This is awesome, Q," Santana said. "But I don't understand why there's a cliff dive."

"Because you're scared about this big shift in your life?"

"And a cliff dive eases that?"

Quinn shrugged, "Santana Lopez doesn't get scared."

"Even Santana Lopez has limits, Cap."

"I know. But marrying her greatest love doesn't draw that limit."

Santana smiled. She had a point. "I still don't understand the cliff dive."

"I needed to remind you that Santana Lopez doesn't get scared."

Again, this caused Santana to smile. Admit it. It was sweet. "I failed you. I didn't jump. Sam carried me off."

Quinn laughed quietly, "You think I didn't know that?"

"Oh, of course you knew. You know everything."

"The point was not merely to get you to jump. The point was to remind you that you're not alone. That whatever this leap is or however it turns out, it's either someone's willing to jump with you or someone's always down there in case everything else fails."

Santana laughed quietly as well, "What is this? A freaking retreat?"

"You can't tell me it didn't work."

"Trust me, it did."

"I know."

"I'm starting to believe Brit's theory about you being a psychic."

Quinn laughed at this. "Nah. I just know you too well."

"I believe that and I hate it sometimes."

"Sucks for you."

Santana nudged Quinn's side with her elbow, "Thank you, Quinn."

Quinn laughed again, "The fact that you're thanking me right now confirms that my whole plan worked."

The Latina looked at her in confusion.

"I believe your thanks you's are synonymous to 'stay around, I still need you, Q'," Quinn explained.

Quinn was right. Her plan worked. Santana felt less scared right at that moment because she knew had Quinn. She knew she had Rachel, too. She didn't doubt Brittany, she doubted herself. She knew she was capable of doing things that could break her marriage but Quinn was right. Falling off from that cliff reminded her that Santana Lopez doesn't get scared. And she just realized that she can be strong for something or someone if she wanted to. Quinn was a living proof to that.

"You know I'll stay around even if I know I'd get kicked out more often because of sexy times," Quinn said putting her arm around the smaller girl. "Don't be scared, San. You're better than that."

"Thanks for reminding me."

Quinn just smiled and let Santana's head lean on her shoulders.

"I need you to be there when my first kid becomes too hard to bear with."

"See? You're thinking about kids now. That's the bitch I know."

"You got me there," Santana said smilingly. "How are things with Berry?"

She didn't mean it to appear as if she's pushing but apparently, Quinn took it the wrong the way.

"Woah. Slow down there," Quinn said shaking her head.

"Since when do we slow down?" Santana asked as she shrugged. "I saw you two today. Reminds me of a certain period of time."

Quinn smiled, "I don't know, San. She's acting weird."

"She's Rachel Berry. What do you expect?"

"I'm getting the hint she's trying to get me back."

Santana threw her hands in the air causing to break their contact, "God, Quinn! Seriously? You only realized it now?"

Quinn looked at her questioningly.

"That girl is still in love with you!"

The blonde just crooked her eyebrows. She was confused rather than shocked with what Santana said.

"No, Santana. She isn't anymore. It's been what? Four years?"

"Come on, Quinn. Stop fooling me. We both know that's not the issue," Santana said as she took a swig from the bottle of whiskey.

"I don't know, San," Quinn said looking away from the Latina. "She confuses me."

"She had her reasons. I thought you knew that she kicked you out not because she didn't love you."

"I don't know, San," Quinn said again.

"A while ago, you kept telling me that you know this, you know that. Now that it involves you, you suddenly don't know? The fuck, Q?"

"A few weeks ago we we're talking about how I should be careful being around her again, now you're pushing me _to _her?"

"Who said I was pushing you?" Santana said now growing with impatience. "I could write an entire thesis about why you shouldn't talk to her or even look at her! _God! _I can even write a trilogy movie of reasons why I don't like her."

"Then why are we having this talk?"

"Because as much as I love you, you're blind, Quinn! No, let me correct that! You're insensitive!"

Though they hated to admit it, they both knew where the conversation was going and it would always end up with one of them getting hurt.

"Now, the problem is me?" Quinn said throwing her hands in the air. "Santana, I'm so sorry! I am so sorry for choosing not to assume things because the last time I assume someone needed me, I got kicked out, remember?"

Both of them were already speaking louder. They were yelling a bit and this caused the guys and Rachel to look at them. They knew they were arguing about something but they can't hear them all clear. They knew the two were fighting but no one dared to approach them.

"Quinn! Will you stop handling problems like this? I am merely asking you to open your eyes to the fact that Rachel still loves you just so you can stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

"You know what Santana?" Quinn said as she stepped back. "I am not having this conversation with you tonight!" the blonde said as she turned her back and started walking away.

"Of course, you wouldn't Fabray!" Santana yelled. "All you do is fucking run away!"

This halted Quinn's steps. She turned back to Santana furiously and just looked at her with unshed tears. Santana walked towards Quinn with fire in her eyes.

"Yes, Quinn! Every time we talk about this, all you do is run away. All you do is tell me that you don't want to talk about it because you're over it. But I know the truth, Quinn! I know! And it sucks for you because you can fool the world, damn! You can even fool yourself but not me!"

Quinn was struggling to keep her emotions at bay. It was true. She and Santana never sat and talked about everything. They had little talks but they always ended up to Quinn shelving the topic.

"Quinn, we are having this talk right now because I'm done blaming the freaking dwarf. Stop convincing me that you're over her because you aren't and you'll never be over her!" Santana said as she stepped closer to Quinn. "Phoebe likes you, Quinn. Puck wants to work it out with you but all you do is put walls around you because you think that everybody is like Rachel."

"Drop it, Santana," Quinn said as tears fell from eyes. She was crying but Santana didn't miss the icy glare that came with it.

The Latina was scared for pushing Quinn again but she already started pushing it, she needed to finish. "Slap me in the face Quinn. Slap me in the face because I'm right. As much as I'm done blaming Rachel, I'm done seeing you unhappy."

"You want to hear the truth Quinn? Rachel is trying to get you back but you refuse to admit it because you're freaking scared! You know Rachel is making an effort but you refuse to accept it because you're freaking scared to be hurt again," Santana said now trying to catch her breath.

Quinn was already angry. Santana knew this.

"Slap me in the face because I know that you're scared because you can't get yourself to trust her again. Let me tell you what you've been trying to run away from all this time and don't worry because she doesn't hear us. You're scared because you want her back, too and you can't absorb it because you promised yourself that you're done falling for her."

Quinn's eyes grew wide in surprise and anger.

"But you hate it even more because you're doing just that! You're falling back for her Quinn! Admit it!"

This and Santana felt a hand on her cheek that caused her head to jerk sideways. _Quinn slapped her on the cheek._

"I said drop it," Quinn said as she met Santana's eyes and ran back inside the camper.

Santana just looked at her and also didn't miss the shocked group of guys and a bewildered Rachel probably wondering what the hell happened.

"Shit," Santana muttered as she ran her hand on the aching part of her cheek.

_Santana knew this. Now that she's pushed Quinn off her limits, Santana knew something was bound to end soon. It's either it ends Quinn and Rachel's chase or it ends Quinn and Santana's friendship._

* * *

><p><em><strong>LOL. Again, everytime I write Santana and Quinn, I fall in love with their friendship over and over again! <strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Let's just say Quinn and Rachel finally does the talking. Woops.  
><strong>_


	39. Chapter 39: On The Verge

**A/N: Oh, I'm so sorry. This came rather later. Things had been crazy at work. I can't believe how competitive I've been for this week. Haha. But anyway, THANK YOU! Again, those reviews are awesome. Y'all are the best. So here's a new chapter.**

**Warning number one: extremely quote-material lines and warning number two, major, major cliffy. *evil grin***

* * *

><p>The night passed by with Quinn just inside the camper reading a book while everyone acted normal outside. They knew something major happened between Santana and Quinn but none of them tried to ask them, not even Rachel.<p>

While Finn, Puck, Mike, Sam and Rachel talked about anything as they gathered around the mini-bonfire, Santana distanced herself from group indulged in her bottle of whiskey. Every once in a while, Rachel would come up to her to give her something to eat and Santana would just accept it without a word.

Also every once in a while, Rachel would walk inside the camper to check on Quinn. The blonde would smile at her and tell her she's fine. But Rachel didn't believe her because she was sure of the pain she saw in Quinn's eyes. Rachel didn't push, though. She knew what happened between Santana and Quinn was something that would change their friendship forever. She never really knew the extent of their friendship but she knew both Santana and Quinn treasured whatever they had.

Soon as the dawn came, Puck drove the camper back to Lima while Santana sat on the passenger's seat wide awake despite consuming nearly a bottle and a half of whiskey. Finn, Mike and Sam were sleeping on the sofa beds while Rachel and Quinn shared the small rear bedroom. Quinn was sleeping, of course, but Rachel just watched her. Under normal circumstances, Rachel would think happy thoughts while watching Quinn sleep but right at that moment, she was worried about Quinn and Santana.

When they reached Lima, they all went home and promised to see each other for rehearsal dinner that night. Quinn also organized this rehearsal dinner and Rachel knew that despite what happened, the show must go on.

She told Quinn to get some rest first but they had to meet the wedding organizer that afternoon for the last minute adjustments.

Rachel went home with a frown on her face. She had a good time but she can't help but worry about Quinn. The former head Cheerio had stressed herself over the wedding for the past two weeks. Sure, Rachel and the wedding planner helped her with the whole wedding but the most crucial parts were left for Quinn to decide because of Santana and Brittany's personal requests. She was the maid-of-honor after all.

When they met at Biggby Coffee, a cozy place somewhere in Lima, Quinn looked stressed and tired. Rachel just observed Quinn talk it down with the wedding planner and every time she heard Quinn's sigh of frustration, Rachel simply put a hand on the blonde's in effort to tell her that everything was going to be fine.

When final questions needed to be asked to either Santana or Brittany, Quinn asked Rachel to call them. Rachel knew that Quinn was avoiding Santana and it caused her to avoid Brittany as well. The diva complied, though. She felt sad but she knew only Quinn and Santana are the only ones who can fix their issues.

After nearly three hours of cold conversation among the three of them, Rachel was glad that everything was finally settled for the next day's big event. There was only one more thing to worry about – the rehearsal dinner.

Rachel and Quinn both headed home to prepare for the night's event. And if Rachel didn't know better, she would think Quinn was avoiding her, too. And Rachel, for the second time that day, found herself inside her own room wondering about Quinn.

Quinn was bothered about something and Rachel knew what Quinn needed. So without hesitation, she took her phone out and typed a text.

_**You're doing great, Quinn. Everything will be fine.**_

It was a simple gesture but Rachel was sure that Quinn would appreciate it. Rachel was smiling all too big that it hurt. And even before the smile faded, her phone buzzed.

_**Thanks, Rach. Seriously!**_

The emphasis in the "seriously" made Rachel giggle. The text made even more sense about Quinn's past two crazy weeks. The text brought a familiar feeling. It was so familiar that Rachel knew Quinn would be fine. She was still worried but not that much anymore.

o-o-o-o-o

Eventually, time for dinner rehearsal came.

Everyone invited headed south of Lima for the event and when they saw how everything was put together, they were both surprised and mesmerized.

The exclusive event was held inside a huge plain white tension tent which roof was lit in light pink. The night was dark but the whole place stood out just because of the lighting setup. The outside was in shades of pink while the interior was lit in some yellowish light highlighting the white and gold color scheme of the chairs and tables. The ceiling of the tent was designed with different colors of balloons lined accordingly. The colors and the balloons were Brittany's idea, of course.

A huge buffet table stood at the end of the room filled with different foods that looked really delicious. There were different Italian and Mexican foods and vegan options, too. Drinks were served adjacent to where the buffet table was.

It was perfect, overall. And once Rachel settled down her seat, she can't help but imagine how her own rehearsal would be if Quinn, _her future wife,_ organized it. She was smiling so hard at the thought that she didn't realize that the room was already filled with guests.

The rehearsal dinner was exclusive for Brittany and Santana's family, some close family friends and the Glee kids, as well as the Schuesters, Holly Holiday and Coach Sylvester. Rachel looked around and saw Quinn being greeted and _congratulated _by the guests coming in. And for like the hundredth time that night, she found herself staring and admiring Quinn.

"If your stares could kill a person, I'm pretty sure Quinn's dead a long time ago," a voice disturbed her _staring._

"And instead of this being a peaceful rehearsal dinner, it would turn out as a tragedy," another voice added.

Rachel looked up and saw Kurt and Blaine as the couple sat next to her.

"Hello, Kurt. Hello to you, too Blaine. Is it safe to assume that you're still together?" Rachel said in a very-Rachel Berry way.

Blaine nodded proudly as Kurt rolled his eyes and jokingly said, "Oh, God. I just caught a glimpse of high school Rachel Berry."

"Except that Rachel Berry was looking all lovingly at her high school _nemesis_," Blaine added.

The three of them laughed at that as Puck and Lauren sat beside them as well.

"Careful, Berry. There could be slushies in here," Lauren teased as the rest of the group laughed as well.

At the table across them sat the rest of the Glee kids – Mike, Artie, Finn, Sam, Tina and Mercedes. A few tables from them were Sue, Holly, Will, Emma and the two kids they knew were the popular Schuester twins.

Rachel saw Brittany and Santana settle for their seats in front facing everyone. Brittany was looking lovely in her white cocktail dress while Santana was looking stunning yet a little disturbed in her black form-fitting red dress. The diva was just watching the two as they greeted people who came to congratulate them.

Her observations were interrupted when she felt someone sit beside her.

"It's about to start," Quinn said as she smiled.

Blaine and Kurt gave Rachel a teasing look as Rachel only rolled her eyes at them.

o-o-o-o-o

Soon, foods were served and after everyone was done eating, wine and champagne were passed amongst everyone.

In the middle of all the night's activities, Rachel was thankful for Kurt and Blaine as they kept her busy from staring at Quinn again. They had thrown so much interest into the table conversation that Quinn actually managed to laugh a lot. Lauren also had her moments and Rachel was sure they were the noisiest table inside the room.

Quinn also shared stories that caused a couple of laughs, especially that one about Rachel breaking into a Taylor Swift song. Rachel, for a second, wondered how Quinn was able to take out the awkward part of the story but the diva was just thankful that the night was so far good for her and Quinn.

Their smooth flowing conversation was interrupted when Coach Sylvester stood and gently clanked her stainless fork against the wine glass. Rachel clapped in excitement. It was time for the speech thing. _God! She'd been preparing for this!_

Sue was assigned to speak first and soon as everyone heard the clink, they all turned to her. Surprisingly, she wasn't wearing one of her many track suits. She was just in a simple white shirt and a pair of jeans. Her hair was still the same but no one would deny that she looked incredibly softer now.

Sue began speaking, "Wow. When Q told me that I would be speaking first, I almost wanted to kill her." Sue chuckled and it earned laughs as well. "Well, Brittany and Santana, what can I say? You know people, these two always had it."

"Maybe that's the reason why I was so successful during their reign in the Cheerios. I just never knew it'd last like this. I almost thought that these two were having a sort of witchy threesome which involved Quinn right there."

More laughs echoed. When Rachel laughed at this, Quinn smacked her playfully in the arm and Rachel just teased her with laughing more.

"I know all of these Glee kids here including their teacher who hasn't changed his hairstyle are all expecting me to throw insults. But I won't because as much as I hate it, I love these two and that blondie right there. I know that I'll never get another Quinn, Brittany and Santana and that sucks for me! So, I hope to see the little Santana's and little Brittany's in the Cheerios someday. But just so you know Boobs McGee and Tweedle Dumb, I always knew it was you two bringing it on inside the locker room!" Sue finished as she laughed.

The entire room broke into laughter as the couple flushed red both in embarrassment and laughter.

Mr. Schue stood up next and soon as he raised his glass, Sue joked, "Everyone, cover your ears!" Mr. Schue just laughed at this as well as everyone, even Sue who gave him a pat in the back. What most people didn't know is that they had become good friends, primarily because Sue found another teacher in WMHS to terrorize.

"Santana and Brittany, wow. When I received the wedding invitation a few weeks ago, I must say, I'm surprised. I'm surprised because well, I knew I saw the connection between you two. I just didn't know what it meant until Emma and Holly explained it to me. But I'm happy for you two and I'm happy because your time in Glee club has helped you become who you are today. I'm proud of you! And I'm even prouder because I feel very much a part of your relationship."

Santana and Brittany smiled and nodded at Mr. Schue. Rachel was amazed at how love and happiness reflected in their eyes. She smiled to herself as she wished she'd have the same reflection in her and Quinn's eyes… someday.

More speeches from important people came. Santana and Brittany's parents all talked about how perfect they were for each other and Rachel couldn't agree more. Brittany and Santana had always been perfect for each other and they are one of those very few high school couples that brought it to the aisle.

It was her turn.

_Finally!_

Rachel stood and smiled proudly at the couple. Brittany was beaming at her while Santana was just plainly smiling, like warning her from saying something embarrassing or something.

"Before I start my speech…"

"Here she goes again," Santana teased.

Everyone laughed at Santana's mockery and Rachel just shrugged.

"As I was saying before our arrogant bride interrupted, I would like to give a toast to the organizer of this wonderful rehearsal dinner," Rachel smiled as she glanced at Santana who suddenly seemed uneasy. "To Quinn," Rachel said as she lifted her wine glass and everyone mimicked the action. Quinn, on the other hand, just smiled and slightly blushed at the recognition.

"Now, moving on to the speech thing. Unlike most of you, I would be proud to say that I witnessed Santana and Brittany's relationship when they weren't in a relationship. I have been friends with Brittany for the past five years and I am very glad to say that their relationship is something that made me believe in destiny. I know," Rachel chuckled. "I know it's way too overrated but if you just saw how nearly impossible it was for them to be together again, you'd be surprised you're here. I did, I saw how Brittany loved Santana from afar. And I also saw how Santana needed Brit when she proposed to her that night. If these two ever break up, I'd probably be doomed of what's bound to come for the rest of us!"

Rachel giggled as everyone laughed as well. "I'm glad to be part of this union not just because I'm seeing a real life fairy tale but because these two friends of mine are the only reasons I still believe that love could work after all."

Brittany had tears in her eyes and Rachel knew Santana was holding back. "I always thought that second chances were nothing but a story created by those many shows we watch every night but Santana and Brittany," Rachel turned to the couple, "you proved me wrong. And I thank you, because in you, I found the reason why I should fight for my second chance after all."

Rachel smiled as her tears blurred from unshed tears. She raised her wine glass, "To Santana and Brittany!"

Just like after the previous speeches, everyone mirrored the action.

Once everyone was done chatting and recovering from Rachel's heartfelt speech, Quinn stood up.

"Hi!" Quinn shyly greeted. "As what my boss here mentioned before her cordial speech, I'm Quinn. I'm the best maid-of-honor that Ohio has seen," Quinn said as everyone quietly laughed. "I actually have a speech prepared but due to crazy cramming, I left it at home. So, I guess I'm with this by myself. Oh, God!"

Everyone gently chuckled at Quinn's adorable rambling. Rachel was watching her and again, Kurt and Blaine had to distract her from actually getting lost in Quinn's angelic presence.

"As much as Rachel was a witness to San and Brit's not being in a relationship for the past five years, I'm a living bystander of Santana's miserable life without B. And by miserable, I mean really, _really _miserable," Quinn chuckled. Even though she was talking about Santana, Quinn refused to meet the Latina's gaze. "But to be honest, despite Brittany's lack of effort on keeping in touch for the past five years, I didn't think this day was impossible. I'm a Santittany believer, I guess."

"Up to this date though, I still can't believe that the all-tough, all-Lima Heights Santana Lopez would wait five years for her high school sweetheart. But I guess that's just how love goes. San and I would probably be throwing up later because I'm talking about freaking love in front of you but a wedding's approaching, right? So it's a feasible excuse to be all mushy," Quinn joked.

The guests had to laugh at this. Even Santana and Brittany giggled as well.

"As I was saying, where was I? Oh, you know, if there's something I learned from these two, it is not to believe in miracles, I learned to depend on them. San didn't believe in miracles but we both depended on that one miraculous day that Brittany would come back and they'd be together. Depending on that miracle brought all of us here," Quinn smiled as she looked at Brittany and still subtlety avoided Santana.

Everyone was obviously touched at what Quinn just said and they were nodding in understanding.

"San and Brit, I hate you because tomorrow, you'd be signing the papers that makes me the official third wheel in this friendship," Quinn said laughingly causing the entire room to break into laughter. "But I still love you both because you've shown me that no matter how long it takes, if it's meant to be, it eventually will be."

Quinn smiled as she raised her glass, "To Santana, Brittany and their many years of marriage."

"To Santana, Brittany and their many years of marriage," everyone said all together as they raised their glasses and drank the wine.

As Quinn sat back to her seat, Rachel turned to her, "That was nice speech."

"I was trying not to make it show I was trying to outdo you," Quinn joked.

"You and your ways," Rachel said as she smilingly shook her head.

Quinn just smiled.

Everyone conversed in a mild chatter for a little while until Santana stood up and took everyone's attention.

"Brit and I were just arguing about who to speak first and she won, obviously," Santana said effortlessly making everyone cackle at the thought. "I just want to say, for the sake of saying it, thank you. Seriously, it'd been crazy. Brittany and I didn't see or talk to each other for five years and the first time we saw each other again, she proposed," Santana added laughingly.

"And tomorrow, I'm officially tied," everyone had to laugh at this, even Santana herself. "I don't do thank you's so might as well tape this thing so you can be reminded that once in your lives Santana Lopez thanked you. Y'all have been part of this wonderful life of mine, I'm thankful of that. And as I end this once-in-a-lifetime speech thing, I need to thank that dwarf right there," she said pointing at Rachel who only shrugged smilingly, "never thought I'd say this and burn me in hell right now but I owe her a lot for keeping Brittany from finding a stinky New Yorker to fall in love with."

Santana sighed before continuing. "And, to Snow White right there," she said pointing at Quinn but barely making eye contact. Santana shook her head in effort to stop the building tears in her eyes, "There are no words enough to thank her. Despite the many times I have displaced my anger on her, she's still here going all gaga about my wedding."

Quinn was just looking at Santana, expressionless.

"Sucks for all of you because blondie right there isn't just the best maid-of-honor that Ohio has ever seen but she's also the best friend y'all will never have because she's mine," Santana said as she smiled, still not looking at Quinn.

"So yeah, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow – the day that all the lonely girls in New York will mourn about because freaking Santana Lopez is getting married," she finished with laugh as she raised her glass.

Everyone laughingly copied the gesture as well. Santana returned to her seat and kissed Brittany gently on the lips before settling back as the blonde smilingly faced everyone.

"If you're all at awe about the whole wedding thing tomorrow, me too," Brittany started. "Truth is, I didn't know what I was thinking when I bought that ring for Santana but I just felt it. I didn't understand the feeling of needing her to marry me but if in my life, I learned that it's not necessary to understand everything. Sometimes, you just have to act the moment you felt it because you'll never know if you'll ever feel it again."

Everyone was smiling endearingly at what Brittany was saying. Here she was again being possessed by Nicholas Sparks' spirit.

"Thank you all for being part of this wonderful night and thank you once more for being part of tomorrow's event. Tomorrow, I'm not anymore the Brittany Pierce that everybody doubted, I'm gonna be Brittany Pierce… wait for it… Lopez," Brittany laughingly said as everyone laughed softly as well.

Brittany turned to where Rachel and Quinn were and said, "Thank you, Quinn for all the efforts you've put into this wedding and for keeping San together. If not for you, she's probably in New York right now cuddling with as many girls as she could totally in denial that sexy times are never as sexy if she's not with me."

Quinn smilingly shook her head.

"And to Rachel, you know, I may not say it everyday and I don't think I've ever said it, but thank you," Brittany smiled. "There were countless times I failed at being great on my art but you reminded me why I was there and why I should keep going. I'm probably not here if it wasn't for your constant reminders."

Brittany turned back to everyone, "Let me tell you what I have learned about love. It is not how everyone defines it. I think, there's no formula or equation for love to work. It is not a destination but for me, it is something you'd always come home to – something you'll always come back to no matter where you're headed."

The blonde smiled and everyone was already listening intently, "And right now, I don't mind if I don't know where I'm headed for. It's enough knowing that the person who loves me more than anything else is here with me."

"When I got my second chance at happiness, I took it on the dot," the blonde then turned and met Rachel's eyes. "I took it right there and then because sometimes, second chance is the last chance."

Rachel's eyes grew wide in recognition of what Brittany just said.

Brittany continued her speech as she held eye contact with Rachel, "If you know what it's like to love someone so much that you can't picture a life without them, don't let them go." The blonde then turned to Quinn and held eye contact as well, "Remember that the world is huge and if you let that one person go, you'd have to search the whole world again."

Quinn swallowed. Surely, Brittany was telling her something. As Brittany spoke, the whole room fell into a complete silence. They were just listening, pondering over everything that the blonde were saying.

"Some people wait a lifetime to get even just a single chance. You're lucky if the person you love decides to love you back. But you don't know how fortunate you are if you've had them all along. So don't be afraid to push all those fears away. There's nothing wrong about being happy, especially when you know it's about time to be."

Brittany raised her glass and everyone clapped at her heart-warming speech.

o-o-o-o-o

After the series of speeches, the dinner rehearsal pushed through. While Brittany and Santana roamed around to meet their guests, Rachel and Quinn, chatted the night away with the rest of the Glee club.

They have talked about almost everything. They have talked about how Puck and Lauren's relationship didn't work and how they were okay about it, they talked about Tina's pregnancy, they talked about Mike's dancing career with Usher and they have spent the whole night bashing one of Mercedes' co-Idols who – in their opinion – didn't deserve to be in the top 12. They even suggested – well, Rachel did – songs that Mercedes should sing in case she made it to the final.

The conversation then shifted to Blaine and Kurt and how their careers were doing in New York. It appears that Blaine, like Santana was finishing his med course while Kurt was busy starring in off-Broadway shows. They even talked about how he landed a role in an actual Broadway show and how excited he was about it.

Then, of course, they had to talk about how successful Rachel had been in her Broadway stint. They laughed as they shared that all of them knew she was bound to go this far just because she was the most dedicated among all of them.

_If only they knew the sacrifices she made to get everything she has at that moment, they wouldn't want to be in her place_. These were the thoughts that came to Rachel's mind right at that moment. Talking about her career with the entire Glee club made everything feel more out of place. They were talking about how happy they were for her and she nodded proudly but deep inside, she knew it wasn't what she wanted. Well, not anymore.

Talking about her life with her co-Glee clubbers was like a hard slap of reality. And everything they said about her took her back to that first night she drank a lot of alcohol because she finally admitted she wasn't happy. With everything she had and considering everything she had achieved, she expected her co-Glee clubbers to envy her. It was selfish, it was evil but it was Rachel. She's Rachel Berry after all.

But as they talked about how their lives have been, none of them mentioned ever being miserable or lonely or discontented. Wherever they were five years after high school, they were happy. They were all happy even though some of them didn't make it out of Ohio. They were happy even though they were still climbing for fame and fortune. All of them were happy even though they weren't as successful as Rachel. She could be the most successful among them but she was probably the most miserable one.

At the end of the day, the story was still the same. She wasn't in high school anymore but she was still alone. And with everything she was bound to learn that night, who knew it could hurt much more.

"I am not dating anyone, I promise," Quinn said as she smilingly shook her head.

The rest of the Glee club was already asking about her love life. In fact, they were trying to ask how she'd been since the thing with Rachel while trying to avoid saying the exact words.

"Come on, Quinn. You're still the most beautiful girl here. It's quite impossible for you not to have someone special," Tina said.

"Yeah, come on, Quinn. You still have it after all these years," Blaine added. Quinn slightly blushed at the compliment and Rachel could only nod in agreement. _Who was she fooling?_

"While I'm really flattered with all you guys are saying, I'm being honest. I'm not dating anyone. Why would I hide it if I'm seeing anyone?"

Finally, someone dared to ask about the elephant in the room. _Elephants._

"We hear Puck's trying," Kurt asked as if Rachel's wasn't around.

"Hey! Who told you that?" Puck teased.

"My instincts," Kurt replied.

Quinn smiled, "As much as I care about Puck, I think we're better off as friends."

Puck nodded, "I kinda agree but it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop. As long as Quinn's Facebook relationship status is single, I'll make myself available. Just in case you know, she ran out of options."

"Quinn Fabray running out of options?" Kurt said rolling his eyes. "I don't think so, Puckerman." The whole group laughed at the little exchange.

"How about this New Yorker Phoebe?" Mercedes asked.

Nobody in the group was shocked. It's like they all knew who the people in Quinn's life were.

Quinn smiled and for some reason blushed at the mention of Phoebe.

Rachel swallowed. Something about the way Quinn smiled that told her she was up for something that would suck big time.

"Are you just gonna blush and smile? Cause we're totally waiting for some answers," said Mercedes.

"Nothing's official yet," Quinn said smilingly.

"Are you heading towards that direction?"

Rachel sighed in anticipation. The last time anyone had talked about Phoebe, she was an irrelevant person in Quinn's life but now? Did Quinn just say something about something official or the sorts?

Quinn shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe, if she insists."

She didn't notice it but Rachel drank all that was left of her wine – straight_. If she insists? What the hell was that? Of course! Phoebe will insist!_

"Does this mean we get to meet her soon?" Kurt asked.

"I don't want to count anything yet," Quinn said now growing self-conscious under Rachel's intense gaze. "But maybe, just maybe, I have agreed to go on a date with her when I return to New York."

Everyone smiled at this. They were happy to hear it straight from Quinn that she's trying to move on.

"We're happy for you, Quinn," Mercedes said as she smiled.

"Yeah. You have no idea how relieved I feel right now," Kurt added.

"Maybe, 'Cedes can meet her once we come back to LA," Quinn said.

_ Wait. What? LA? What was Quinn talking about?_

"Oh, I heard about that! Fabray, you are the awesomest ever," Kurt said as he smiled.

"What's that about?" Sam asked.

"Why don't we toast for Quinn? Congratulate her. Because next month, she'd start working with Hayden Panettiere and Nina Dobrev," Kurt announced raising his glass.

Everyone mimicked the action excitedly.

"Really, Quinn? That's awesome!" Mike exclaimed. "They're hot."

Rachel's eyes grew wide in surprise. Did she hear it right?

"Wait? What?" Rachel asked.

Everybody turned to her.

Quinn's eyebrows knotted in confusion, "Wha-"

Charles hasn't told her.

"Charles hasn't told you?"

Tears welled instantly in Rachel's eyes. She didn't understand what was happening but her heart cringed at the thought.

The rest of the group just stared at the now trembling Rachel. The diva stood furiously as she looked Quinn straight in the eyes, "When are you planning to tell me about this?"

"Rachel, maybe you and Quinn can talk about this-"

"Shut up, Kurt!" Rachel almost yelled.

Some of the people who heard her turned to look at her. Brittany who was just talking to her parents turned to see what was happening.

"I thought Charles already-"

"No, Quinn. He didn't tell me," Rachel said trying hard to keep her emotions at bay.

"My contract expires by the end of this month, Rach. You know that," Quinn said trying to keep calm.

"You never told me you were leaving."

"I never told you I was staying."

"How can you do this to me, Quinn?"

"Do what exactly to you, Rachel?"

Rachel's tears streamed down her face. It broke her apart to know that she was losing Quinn again. This time, it was Quinn's choice.

At lost for words, Rachel sighed and shook her head. "So, it's gonna be that easy for you?"

Quinn didn't answer. She bit her lip in effort to stop the building rush of emotions inside her.

Rachel waited for Quinn to answer but she knew she wouldn't. Rachel just hopelessly smirked in frustration as she shook her head and made her way out.

Finn stood to follow her but a hand gripped his wrist. They all turned to see who it was and saw a serious Brittany holding Finn. Brittany turned to Quinn who was looking devastated and nodded, "Go."

She didn't know what pushed her but the next thing Quinn knew, she was running after the sobbing Rachel. She didn't know what was bound to come but she had to be prepared for it. It'd been a long time preparing for the words to say and now that it was time to say it, she could only hope it would come out right.

"Rachel!" Quinn called just before Rachel made it to her car.

They were standing in the middle of the parking lot. The faint sound of the love songs playing inside the venue could still be heard.

As they looked at each other, reality struck them both.

Quinn and Rachel were in Lima.

This is the _same ground _where the story of Quinn and Rachel started.

_Is this where it was fated to end?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Let's just say I didn't want to spoil the love lessons we learned from Brittany today so I had to cut it.<strong>_

_**(I may have failed at proofreading this one and I'm so, so sorry. Aside from my tears-blurred vision due to writing the next chapter, I am incredibly sleepy right now!)  
><strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Oh, I know you know what's about to come!**_


	40. Chapter 40: Same Ground

**Author's Note: WOW. Seriously. I didn't expect the love that came the way of that previous chapter. I must say, y'all surprised me. LOL at the number of **_**death threats **_**I received because of that cliffy! I'm taking extra care now. LOL. Anyway, sorry about that and sorry to keep you waiting. I kinda found it adorable got the **_**subliminal **_**message of the chapter title "on the verge". Such a tease. Haha.**

**THANK YOU. You guys are great! This is kinda short since it's a continuation of the previous chapter. No major cliffy or maybe there is. I dunno. LOL.**

* * *

><p>"What is your problem?" Quinn asked as she walked towards Rachel. She was walking on a faster pace to keep up with the brunette.<p>

"Are you really asking me that?" Rachel returned the question not stopping on her tracks. She was headed towards her car but even before she reached closer, Quinn grabbed her wrist and spun her around to stop her.

"If this is about the whole contract thing, I'm sorry, okay?" Quinn walked closer to Rachel not breaking eye contact with her. "I thought Charles would be the one to tell you. Please! We can talk about this when we get back to New York. Let's get back inside now. I don't want to cause a scene," Quinn said as she half-smiled.

Rachel smirked as she sighed, "Really, Quinn? How long are we gonna play this game?"

Quinn just looked at her.

The blonde knew exactly what was happening. She knew all along that when she met Rachel once again, this talk was bound to come. But as stupid as it sounds, she was never able to prepare herself for this.

She had the right to be mad and angry. She had every right to blow it all in front of Rachel's face. Everything she had gone through when she kicked her out that night, it was something Quinn always wanted to tell Rachel. She had every right to blame Rachel and burden her with guilt and shame.

But Quinn couldn't.

She simply can't.

She knew Rachel would be hurt. And no matter how stupid it sounds, despite everything, she still didn't want to be the reason for Rachel's tears. She didn't want to be the reason for Rachel's hurt.

"What is this about, Rachel?"

Rachel didn't know how to start but she was tired of playing hide-and-seek. She was scared of where this conversation might lead but she knew they had to move. She and Quinn have been stuck for a while; one of them had to move them for them.

She had set her mind to fighting for Quinn; to doing something she didn't have the courage to do before. But this time, knowing that Quinn was about to leave her again, she felt like she was fighting for a lost cause.

"I got there, Quinn," Rachel said quietly.

Out of the things Rachel spoke of all her life, this is one of the few things that were true.

_She got there._

Quinn bit her lip and instantly looked away.

"I got there," she repeated.

_And never left._

Silence.

Quinn had waited all her life for Rachel to say this. _But why now?_

It's like words were floating in the air but none of them knew what to say next without breaking the other.

"It doesn't matter now," Quinn said under her breath. She sighed. It was breaking her – to finally utter the words that she had kept for so long.

"When I saw you that night, I wanted to hug you and tell you how much I've missed you."

Quinn stood uncomfortably now failing to stop the tears from falling.

"But I got scared, Quinn. Everything was going right for me and –"

"And you felt like I came there to ruin everything?"

"Quinn I was living everything I dreamed about," Rachel said looking at Quinn who refused to meet her eyes.

"Rach, _you_ were everything I dreamed about," Quinn said as her voice broke. Little sobs came eventually. "All I wanted was to be part of your life but you never gave me the chance."

"I should have never done that. I should have never let you go back to LA."

"But you did."

"Quinn, I was scared!"

"I'm done hearing how scared you were!" Quinn said finally meeting Rachel's eyes. Tears continued to fall from her eyes. "Rachel, I was scared, too," she confessed as her voice softened in sorrow.

Rachel saw nothing but pain in Quinn's eyes. Her emotions were so real and raw that Rachel had to look away. She wanted to say something but guilt and shame took over her.

"I was scared of coming to New York. I was scared to get out of my comfort zone but I did anyway because I loved you," the last three words felt like a bullet in Quinn's heart. Once again, she was sinking.

"You were risking your career, Rachel. _I_ was risking my _whole_ life – my future, my feelings, myself! I was risking _all of me_ but I came anyway because I loved you that much."

Rachel's knees grew weaker in every word that Quinn said. The words hurt when it came from Santana but she couldn't explain the wrath she felt hearing the words straight from Quinn.

"I came anyway because I loved you and I thought you loved me, too."

"I loved you, Quinn," Rachel said looking down. It was true. She loved Quinn. But admitting it at that moment didn't feel right.

"But you didn't love me enough to take me in," Quinn said in between breaths. "Rachel, I heard everything you said that night. I heard it every night in my sleep for the past four years."

"Quinn…"

"Rach, I loved you _so_ much."

Quinn said the words slowly and silently. She had kept it for so long that finally saying it felt like a huge shift. Quinn had kept so many emotions all her life but at least, her feelings for Rachel weren't one of them.

"And I will not deny that for the past four years, I waited for you to come and tell me that you regret that night. I know it's unfair to put the pressure on you but despite you breaking me that night, I still believed in the best out of the Rachel I fell in love with. I was wrong. You never did," Quinn said as her voice trembled.

"I had tried so many times, Quinn."

"Still, you never did."

Silence.

All the world didn't matter anymore. They were laying their cards on the table as they lay their hearts on the line. Quinn and Rachel were finally facing each other – something they should have done a long time ago but were both too scared to try.

"It's over, Rachel."

There it was.

The words that she'd been scared to hear from Quinn were finally introducing itself.

The words that she'd fear to hear all this time finally said out loud.

"No, it's not," Rachel said a little too loud. She stepped closer to Quinn trying to make her feel how desperate she was. "Quinn, I know we've been through so much. I know, it's been a long time but I've made a mistake letting you go once, I'm not making that mistake again."

Quinn only sobbed.

She had wanted to hear these words all her life but why did she have to hear them now? Now that she couldn't get herself to believe it.

"After that night, I never stopped thinking about you. I have always loved you, Quinn. "

Silence.

For the nth time that night, they were looking at each other dazed under the words they've kept for too long.

"I love you, Quinn. I never stopped loving you," Rachel said. _Finally._

She said the words unafraid of its consequences.

She said the words ready to face whatever was bound to come if Quinn said it back.

She said the words because it was the truth.

She loved Quinn, always have… always will.

Quinn smiled sadly as tears slowly fell once more. She sighed, "Why can't I believe that?"

Rachel looked at Quinn in confusion. She was finally telling the truth but Quinn doesn't believe it?

"I love you. For the nth time, Quinn. I love you."

_And as they say it, if one thing is said too many times… if one thing is said more than enough, it becomes meaningless._

"Rach, I so want to believe you. I have waited all these years to hear you say that but right now it doesn't feel right."

"Because of Phoebe?"

"Because it's not enough."

"It's enough for me, Quinn!"

"It _was _never enough for you! Love will never be enough for both of us."

"Quinn?"

"If I say it back, what happens next?"

Then it hit Rachel.

It was possible that Quinn still loves her. Who was she fooling? She knew Quinn still loves her but Quinn was right. If Quinn said it back to her, what would they do? Where do they go next?

This is Rachel being _the _Rachel Berry. Too many times, she told herself that she was ready to fight for Quinn. But not in many situations did she tell herself that she was willing to _fight _her own self tofight _for _Quinn.

"You're still scared, Rachel and I can't get myself to trust you," Quinn said as her tears started to subside.

It was Rachel's turn to cry harder.

"Quinn, I just made a choice."

Quinn nodded as she wiped her tears, "I know and you didn't choose me."

"When you came back, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am," Rachel said as desperation became evident in her voice. "Quinn, everytime I saw you with Phoebe, I had wished I was her."

Quinn was just looking at Rachel and chose to say nothing.

"I know I don't have the claim to be jealous because I'm the one who wanted this, right? But why does it hurt so much?" Rachel as her voice quivered.

"Every time I hear you talking about her, every time I see you happy with her, I had always wished I was in her place because that should've been me," Rachel stepped close to Quinn. "Everytime you talked about Phoebe, you have no idea how much I wanted to hear you say that it's still me. That it's still me you're in love with. That it's always been me."

"God! It will always be you, Rach," Quinn said as her tears threatened her eyes once more.

"Then, why are you holding back?"

"Can you blame me?" Quinn fired back, venom obvious in the way she said it.

This shut Rachel up.

"Every time I remember how much I love you, I also remember how much you've hurt me. Every time I remember how happy I was with you, I remember how miserable I was that night. I was walking down the streets of a city I wasn't familiar with... all the time wondering how I will make it through the night," Quinn's voice trembled.

"When you pushed me away, Rach, you didn't just send me back to LA, you sent me back to the person I was before I fell in love with you. That night Rach, you destroyed everything I believed in," Quinn said now finding it hard to breathe. "_You were everything I believed in_."

"Quinn, I regret all of it."

"It doesn't change a thing."

"It does!" Rachel hopelessly said. "My, God, Quinn! Why do you have to be this hard?"

"You made me this way, Rach."

Silence.

For probably the hundredth time in the span of time they were talking, silence enveloped them. The words that were floating in the air earlier one-by-one vanished, as if puzzle pieces finally put to where they belonged.

Quinn's tears eventually subsided. She was calmer. The emotions that rushed inside her earlier slowly died down. She was the master of her emotions. If she meant it when she said that she was sent back to the person she used to be, then this is Quinn Fabray knowing what to feel when to feel it. This is Quinn Fabray outsmarting her own heart.

Rachel, on the other hand, was miserable. She couldn't stop crying. Perhaps she didn't get the memo that confronting Quinn about the past was harder than she ever thought. She was sure the blonde was still in love with her but Quinn was right. If Quinn said it back to her, where do they go from here? What do they do?

"Quinn, I'm sorry," said Rachel.

Saying sorry should have been a grand gesture. Given the things she had done, her apology should have been grander than this but there was no other way. She wasn't sure if she meant it. She wasn't sure if she was sorry because honestly, she was feeling nothing but pain.

"Don't be, Rach," Quinn said quietly.

"I'm sorry for not choosing you."

"Believe it or not, I understand why you didn't choose me."

Quiet and lonely – this was how their voices sounded.

"I don't know if it makes sense saying this but I never, ever, asked you to choose between me and the life you've always dreamed of. Being that much of a dreamer was a part of you that I was so in love with. Seeing your eyes glitter at the thought of New York made me want to have big dreams, too. You bring out that side of me that I never thought I had," Quinn said silently.

Rachel looked up meeting Quinn's gaze.

"I never wanted to be your whole life, Rach. I just wanted to be your favorite part."

Rachel listened to the words. The last time she and Quinn talked about their feelings, it turned into something beautiful. But now, she felt like hitting rock bottom.

"It's about time to let me go, Rach," Quinn said with all the valor she had.

_This is rock bottom._

"I can't."

"For the past five years, I felt that my life had been about holding on to you. I don't want that for you because it hurt so much."

Rachel sighed. It was supposed to be a conversation but she didn't know what to say.

"I'm letting you go, Rachel. It's something I should have done a long time ago but I am not that strong. You are."

Despite the tears, Rachel asked "Why are you so sure?"

"I'm not stupid. I know, kicking me out that night was also hard for you but you did it. You were able to let go of me once. There's no reason you can't do it again now."

Rachel didn't know what else to do. As the popular line goes, when words get in the way, there's only one thing left to do.

Without a word or two, Rachel pulled Quinn into a tight hug. She didn't know what pushed her but this is one of the few moments that Rachel knew words were not enough. She buried her face on Quinn's shoulder and spoke in between sobs, "One more chance, Quinn. This is all I'm asking of you."

Quinn closed her eyes feeling the warmth that Rachel's hug gave her. She felt the familiar chill that being in touch with Rachel brought her. She felt her heart skip a beat. She felt her knees grow weak at the contact. After all these years, Rachel still had the same effect on her.

But just like most days, every time she felt herself giving in to these familiar feelings, a familiar pain also reminds her that she should know better than to touch the fire twice.

She took a deep breath and kissed Rachel's temple. With finality and though her heart broke at what she was about to do next, she knew she had to let both of them go. All she had to do was imagine Rachel as Lilibeth on that stage. She imagined how Rachel shone on that stage and it will be easier.

She cared about Rachel.

That's why she was doing this.

Slowly, Quinn pulled away from Rachel. Her own heart cringed at the loss of contact. The brunette was still sobbing non-stop and when she lost touch with Quinn, Rachel opened her eyes and stared questioningly at her.

Quinn sadly smiled, "It was meant to be this way, Rachel. For a while, I blamed you for everything that we've been through, but I realized there's no one to blame. We made our choices."

"I... don't understand."

"I shouldn't have left that night," Quinn said feeling the pain all over again. "I should have fought for you. You were scared, I should've tried harder. If I didn't believe all the _lies _you told me to push me away, maybe it would be different."

Rachel just stared at her.

"But I didn't. I believed that lie you told me when you said we were just caught in the moment. It takes two to make a lie work – the one who said it and the one who believed it."

Rachel wanted to say something. But the concepts that Quinn was introducing her were new. She blamed herself for the fiasco all this time but Quinn was telling her otherwise.

"You made your choice by not choosing me. I made mine when I chose to give up. And if you're sorry of not choosing me, then I must say I'm sorry for giving up on you."

"But..."

Quinn had a point.

"I guess we just have to stop blaming ourselves because if you look at it again, there's nothing else to blame but the circumstances."

As the popular love song goes, they had the right love at the wrong time.

"We're holding on to the pain because it's all we have left. It's all that's left of the Quinn and Rachel we used to know."

Once again, Rachel's tears streamed down her face.

"Don't leave me, Quinn," she begged.

"Rach, if we're not good enough without each other, we'll never be good enough with each other."

"But I love you! How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me?"

"Maybe, _Rachel and Quinn_ weren't meant to be together."

With these words, Rachel felt her whole life shatter into pieces.

Quinn and Rachel. It was everything Rachel believed in.

Quinn and Rachel. Rachel and Quinn. It was everything Rachel had held on to. She was_ the_ Rachel Berry but _the_ Rachel Berry never felt more meaningless, useless, lifeless.

Rachel felt as if her other half was being torn apart from her. The truth was cold and harsh. Sometimes, fate draws two people together...

_Only to tear them apart._

"Goodbye, Rachel."

It was the final nail on the coffin of Rachel's heart.

Quinn turned and started walking back towards the tent.

"Quinn, I love you," Rachel said almost whispering.

Quinn stopped on her tracks to absorb what Rachel just said. She smiled and sighed before she resumed walking.

_She loves Rachel. Always have. Always will_.

o-o-o-o-o

When Quinn walked back inside the tent to re-join the group, she acted like everything was okay.

Everyone knew – even Brittany and Santana – that even though it was obviously a lie, Quinn doesn't want to talk about Rachel. From afar, Santana observed Quinn. She was okay but the red in Quinn's eyes told her otherwise.

Rachel didn't come back inside. After half an hour, they received a text from her saying that she didn't feel well. And though none of them believed this, they didn't push.

The night went on very much how the high school New Directions would have it: Brittany and Santana together just like Tina and Artie. Finn was still clueless; Puck was still talking sexy with Lauren although they weren't together. Sam was still doing his infamous impersonations and Mike was still dancing. Mercedes and Kurt were still gossiping and Kurt and Blaine were still together. Quinn and Rachel were still apart despite numerous attempts of being together.

Five years passed and nothing much has changed. Or maybe, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Five years passed and though their feet may roam, they found themselves back in Lima.

Five years passed and yet, they were _all_ still on the _same ground_.

o-o-o-o-o

Every so often we look to see where we are because each time we realize how far we've come, we also come to realize how far we still have to go.

As for Rachel and Quinn, they've come this far. Yet, they were still on the _same ground_ both of them tried to leave a few years back.

One Rachel Berry drove back to her house.

After the confrontation she had with the past, she didn't know how to face anyone anymore.

She drove back hurt and frustrated but she didn't have the tears anymore. She ran up her room upset and devastated but she wasn't crying.

Perchance, if other people were put in her place, they would easily give up. Normal people would easily give up on love if their object of affection asks them to. But was Rachel one those people?

She had fire in eyes not because of anger or guilt.

Rachel Berry had a different kind of fire in her eyes.

There were a hundred reasons why she should stop and give up the fight for Quinn but Rachel Berry needs only one reason to keep going. She only needed one reason to keep fighting despite a ton of other reasons why she shouldn't. _Quinn loves her._

They were in the same ground after all.

And sometimes, only sometimes, love is enough to keep you fighting.

She can stumble and fall but we all know Rachel Berry won't stay down.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I want to shout out to one of the avid readers of this fic –<strong>_** EAnIL! **_**This person gave us the perfect theme song for this fic. Y'all have to listen to this. It's perfect, seriously! It's titled "Same Ground" (Oh, isn't that too obvious? LOL). If you wanna listen to it, here's the YouTube link: .com/watch?v=hyuSeR-Sqno**_

_**For the next chapter: Can S and Q's friendship find its way back to the right track? Britanna wedding!**_


	41. Chapter 41: All The Way

**Author's Note: Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews I've been receiving these days. I don't really get my hopes up every time I post an update, so it's always a surprise and I'm sorry for breaking your hearts on that previous chapter. It was a hard chapter to write. Emotional, very.**

**Anyway, here's another chapter. It's kinda long and it's kind of our way to recover from the emotional turmoil of the previous chapter. Let's let love in for a moment, there's a wedding that needs to happen!**

* * *

><p>Just like in most cases, the most crucial part when something big happens, is the first morning you wake up realizing that it indeed happened.<p>

_Yes. It happened. It'd been a long time coming but it still happened._

Rachel realized that no matter how much you run away from your past, the universe will not agree on you for too long. The past will always find a way to revive itself –like a ghost.

The moment she realized what took place between her and Quinn, Rachel's eyes instantly welled all over again but her tears didn't fall. She was feeling too much pain she couldn't even bring herself to cry about it.

She stood and got ready to leave the house for Brittany and Santana's wedding which, by the way, was probably one of the biggest weddings in Lima ever. Not that it was big in terms on the number of guests, but it was big because of how much they had spent not to mention it was a _gay _wedding in the freaking _conservative _town of Lima, Ohio.

Same-sex marriage wasn't allowed in Ohio, duh! It's Ohio. But it's for the sake of the ceremony. They're signing papers from New York (Rachel's idea, but Quinn was the one who processed the papers). Rachel smiled to herself; she wondered how Quinn was still alive after everything she had to go through for the wedding.

Rachel's thoughts were interrupted by a text from Brittany.

_**Quinn's dress is unbelievable.**_

She smiled. Brittany still didn't know about everything that took place between them and Rachel knew it wasn't the perfect time to tell her. Somehow, Rachel knew that Brittany had an idea about what happened. The blonde made an effort to call her last night to remind her about everything she said before they went back to Lima.

_The last person Q needs in her life is someone who will not fight for her. That's not you, Rach because you love her._

With this, Rachel typed a reply.

_**Quinn always dresses unbelievably.**_

She giggled to herself. She just sounded like a creep.

_**You have to take a picture later.**_

_**Why?**_

_**So you can show Santa what you want for Christmas.**_

Of course, a pickup line. Rachel smilingly shook her head despite the joke being Christmas-related.

_**Nice one, B. Go get ready now. You wouldn't want to be late.**_

_**Yeah. Imma go get ready now. We need to smile a lot today! Smile for me.**_

_**Of course, B. I'm fine. I'll be.**_

Rachel sighed as she tossed her phone to her bed.

A long day awaits her.

o-o-o-o-o

In three words, Quinn could summarize everything she learned about life: it goes on.

Last night's "talk" with Rachel was epic, unprecedented. Quinn didn't know where she got the courage to say everything that escaped her mouth and though she couldn't get herself to believe the guts she had to actually bid goodbye, what's done is done.

If Quinn and Rachel's story was a movie, people who have watched it might have bashed on Quinn or they might have started a Facebook page saying "Kill Quinn Fabray for not giving Rachel Berry a chance". True enough, if she had wanted to she could have just given Rachel a chance.

But seriously?

You hurt Quinn freaking Fabray and it will be that easy? Everyone who had seen Quinn's personality evolution wouldn't think so.

Quinn knew she wasn't getting any younger and decided it was best to be more careful now. If this was high school, she could give Rachel a chance as many as the diva want to, but it's not high school anymore.

Quinn didn't want to be one of those people who only aged old but didn't get any wiser. That's why she decided to let things this way. She was nervous about the aftermath of last night's talk but call her lucky because with Santana and Brittany's wedding, it seems that she doesn't have to worry about it just yet.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Wearing a strapless pearl-colored dress that hung a few inches shy of her knees, Rachel stood at the band area together with Artie and the rest of the all-male mini orchestra. The wedding prelude was about to start and all Rachel had done so far was to take the sight in. It was breathtaking to say the least.

The weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding. The skies were clear and it wasn't all too sunny – it's the afternoon, after all – plus, the afternoon air was soothing. The ceremony proper was setup at one part of the huge golf course in front of the main building of Shawnee Country Club, a rather expensive country club south of Lima.

Less than a hundred, but not lower than, 50 seats were arranged by rows and columns; said seats were covered with white cloth designed with a combination of pink and blue sashes.

At the far end of the small space they occupied, just a few yards away from the band area, stood an improvised wedding gazebo. Elevated by a low platform, the gazebo was dominated by the color white designed with pink gardenias and cream-colored cloth. The four columns of the gazebo were decorated by blue sky vines.

The aisle leading to the gazebo from the similarly-designed wedding arch was designed with scattered pink and blue rose petals that complemented very well with the white carpet that rested on the green lawn of the golf course. The sides of the aisle were decorated with pink gardenias highlighted by light blue hydrangeas.

The diva was mesmerized at how the shades of blue and pink blended well. She was too nervous because pink and blue were never matching colors unless you rely on their shades. Rachel thought Quinn did a great job mashing up the deepness of the color blue and lightness of the pink. The color scheme was Rachel's idea. She smiled to herself when she remembered how she explained to Quinn the meaning of the colors.

Blue stands for harmony, unity, trust and anything else that came with it like stability and security which were good foundations any marriage could use. Pink, of course, stands for love and beauty. Other things that came with these are care, tenderness and acceptance. Again, Rachel smiled to herself, pink has always been her favorite color.

"Shall we start?" Artie's voice interrupted her thoughts.

Rachel nodded. She wasn't nervous. If anything, she was thrilled. She was thrilled not just because it's her first time to sing at a wedding but moreover, in a few minutes time, she'd be able to sing a song she prepared for Quinn.

Artie, who was wearing a nice vanilla-colored tuxedo, signaled the band to start playing. His dress jacket was vanilla while his inside dress shirt was white. It was neatly buttoned up highlighting the plain blue tie that came with it. Pinned on his left chest was a pink and white rose corsage similar to that on Rachel's wrist.

While the guests filled the area riding beautiful horse carriages that serviced from the entrance of the country club, Rachel started singing Tim McGraw's "My Best Friend". Brittany picked this song and though country wasn't Rachel's strongest genre, she pulled it off simply because a good song can stand on its own.

After finishing Rachel's opening, Artie came next with his soulful rendition of Stevie Wonder's "You and I". While Artie sang, Rachel backed up but as the lyrics resounded inside her head, her mind wandered to one particular person. She smiled even though the pain that last night's talk caused was still there because just like what the song said, in her mind, _she and Quinn can conquer the world_.

_ I am glad at least in my life I found someone that may not be here forever to see me through... But I found strength in you._

It was only the prelude but Rachel already felt too much emotions. Forgive her. It's the first time she let herself deal with the aftermath of last night's event. As the last notes of the Stevie Wonder song faded, Rachel got herself ready for the next number.

It wasn't the song she prepared for Quinn yet, but the next song was one of her all-time favorites. The orchestra started playing the intro of Celine Dion and Frank Sinatra's classic "All The Way" and Rachel looked around to search for the one person she had been thinking about.

_ When somebody loves you, it's no good unless he loves you all the way_

Rachel continued to scan the area with her eyes. She knew Quinn would be busy but she couldn't wait to see her, look her in the eyes and sing…

_Who knows where the road will lead us. Only a fool would say. But if you'll let me love you, it's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way_

o-o-o-o-o

An hour before the ceremony proper, Santana found herself inside her hotel room. She was already all dressed up in her ivory form-fitting dress that had little scarlet details; her hair was curled up to one side and just as usual, she looked nothing short of stunning.

She sat in front of her vanity – heart beating faster, mind racing 2000 km/h. She was nervous. It was her wedding after all. She was already halfway finished with her fifth stick of cigarette when someone came in.

_Quinn._

Santana observed Quinn through the mirror. The blonde didn't even acknowledge her. Quinn was busy checking Santana's hair flower that still needed to be put as the Latina's final touch on her hair. She didn't want to wear any veil that's why she settled for two pieces of small hair flowers with rhinestone centers. After checking the hair accessory that rested on top the bed, Quinn then turned to Santana and looked at her from head to toe.

"Checking me out?" Santana said trying to test the waters.

Quinn didn't answer. Instead, she walked over to Santana and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Santana rolled her eyes at the sweet gesture because she knew Quinn was just doing her job as the maid-of-honor. Somehow, she still felt that Quinn was still avoiding her.

When Quinn finally noticed the cigarette that Santana's been trying to hide, Quinn frowned at Santana and then reached out her hand expecting Santana to give it up.

Santana shook her head and said, "Is this a damned silent movie? Talk to me, Cap."

She didn't mean for it to sound a little needy but it apparently came out that way.

"No cigarettes," Quinn said still lacking in expression while still holding out her hand.

"I said talk to me and you give me a fucking phrase. It doesn't even make up a sentence!" Santana said still keeping her one hand away from Quinn.

Without a word, Quinn leaned closer to the sitting Santana and grabbed her hand that was holding the cigarette. Santana didn't even try to fight back. The blonde took the cigarette from her and dipped it into the ashtray resting on top of the vanity.

Santana smirked as Quinn needed to bite the insides of cheeks to stop herself from smiling. She reached out to one of the drawers and got a small bottle of mint candies. She pulled out two candies on her palm and then held Santana on the chin.

She smirked mischievously as she forced the mint candies inside Santana's mouth.

"Ow!" Santana complained but still chewed the candies anyway. "You're rude."

"You're the one to talk."

Santana sighed. She grabbed her bridal bouquet of pink-and-white gardenias and gently played with it as she said, "I'm sorry, Q."

Quinn gently smacked Santana on the arm as she took the bouquet from her, "You're ruining the flowers."

"I'm not," Santana threw her arms in the air. "Q, please. Come on. It's the day of my wedding," Santana said as she stood up to face Quinn who was pretending to be busy examining the bouquet of gardenias. "I can't believe my bestfriend and I would be in a fight ON my WEDDING DAY."

"We're not on a fight."

"You're not talking to me."

"What's there to talk about with barely an hour left before your wedding?"

"Come on, Q."

"Get yourself ready now. You wouldn't want to be late on your own wedding," Quinn said as she headed towards the door. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not running away again."

"Q!" Santana said hopelessly as she grabbed Quinn by the wrist. "You've been avoiding me since yesterday. I need my bestfriend now."

"I'm here."

"You're the maid-of-honor. You're not my bestfriend."

"We're the same person."

"Except my bestfriend slapped me the other night."

"I'm telling you, we're the same person."

"Tell me something that would tell me you're my bestfriend."

Silence.

Santana was nervous. She never thought she could lose her friendship with Quinn but Quinn never avoided her the way she had avoided her since yesterday. She didn't know what Quinn was thinking but it was also one of the things why she couldn't stop herself from being anxious.

Yes, she was finally getting Brit in her life for good but she couldn't let Quinn just slip away. With the new phase of her life approaching, she's gonna need Quinn now more than ever.

Quinn rolled her eyes and met Santana's. She was looking all serious and Santana swore she could see a glimpse of old Quinn.

_She can't lose Quinn. _Santana knew this.

But for the first time since they talked, Quinn smiled, "Fuck you, Santana."

At that, Santana sighed in relief. Tears instantly formed in her eyes but they didn't fall. They were tears of relief that at least, she still haven't lost Quinn. "Don't tell anyone but can I hug my Captain now? I kinda need it."

Quinn smiled again. She spread her arms to the sides as Santana slowly hugged her.

"We're still not good, though," Quinn said smilingly.

"I know but we can talk after I get back from my honeymoon. I'm getting married, God damn it!" Santana said as she giggled on Quinn's shoulder. She then pulled away and smiled at Quinn.

"Fuck you, Cap. You scared me."

"You so deserve it," Quinn said as she resumed walking towards the door again.

"Wait, Q," Santana stopped her as she looked curiously at Quinn. "Did you slap me because I'm right? Because that's what I told you."

Quinn shrugged, "You're always right."

The blonde then opened the door but even before she stepped outside, Santana called, "Quinn."

Santana's voice sounded anxious and emotional and needy. It was very uncharacteristic but it was her freaking wedding day, even Santana Lopez has her limits.

Quinn turned to meet Santana's teary eyes, "I'll be outside if you need me."

"Q."

"I'm not going anywhere, San."

The words were simple yet really assuring. Santana knew her whole life was about to change but despite that, she was glad to know that her friendship with Quinn wasn't one of them.

Santana smiled, "Thank you."

Quinn knew it was what Santana needed at that moment. The blonde only returned a reassuring smile as she made her way out.

o-o-o-o-o

This was it.

The guests were all in and the processional was about to start.

From where she stood, Rachel could already see Quinn nagging people to line up at the opposite side of the area. She couldn't see her all too clearly just yet but with the cream dress she was wearing and that blonde hair Rachel would _never _get mistaken of, the diva was sure she's about to be blown away.

She and Artie just finished singing Richard Marx and Donna Lewis' "At the Beginning with You" and it was almost time for Rachel's last prelude song.

She didn't know if Quinn would even hear it because the blonde was busy with the impending processional but Rachel wanted to sing this song for Quinn. She didn't know if she could give Celine Dion justice just like how Sunshine did it with "All By Myself", but she was willing to put it at risk.

Here goes nothing.

_Take me back in the arms I love, need me like you did before_

Seriously, Rachel?

She knew it wasn't the time to sing a non-wedding song but she was willing to take any step that would help her to get Quinn to understand that she wasn't about to let her go. And Rachel Berry knew only one thing – "To Love You More". If anything, the song was perfect.

_Don't go you know you'll break my heart… She won't love you like I will _

Oh, yes. Phoebe won't.

_I'm the one who'll stay when she walks away and you know I'll be standing here still_

She'll be standing still.

You have to mark Rachel's words.

Somewhere in the middle of getting people to lineup for the processional, Quinn stopped on her tracks. Something filled the afternoon air that was once soothing and fresh. Rachel's flawless voice echoed from the speakers surrounding the event area but it wasn't the voice that totally got her, it was the song.

_I'll be waiting for you here inside my heart… I'm the one who wants to love you more_

After contemplating for a while, Quinn realized that this was, again, one of Rachel's many ideas of how to get a message across someone or say something she has no courage to utter directly.

Before shuffling her attention back to the double-checking if everyone was in their right places, Quinn looked at where Rachel stood singing.

And in that brief, semi-awkward but mostly-connecting moment, Rachel and Quinn's eyes met.

_Let me be the one to love you more_

Quinn felt butterflies in her stomach. It made her smile because she was too familiar with this feeling, especially when she was looking into those beautiful brown eyes. She had to look away because she could feel herself sinking into that depth that is Rachel Berry.

They were still fresh from a life-changing confrontation and this wasn't the perfect place or moment to take things next to where it's supposed to be headed.

"You okay?" she heard Mercedes ask her.

Mercedes, just like the rest of the bridesmaids, was wearing a simple blue tube dress with a bouquet of pink gardenias in hand. She was also wearing that pink rose corsage on her wrist just like Rachel's and also Quinn's.

"Yeah. I'm just nervous," Quinn said as she smiled. "The dress looks good on you, by the way."

Mercedes shrugged, "Blue isn't my color but sure do I give it a swag."

"Damn straight," Quinn said impersonating Santana.

Mercedes laughed, "Oh, don't do that again. You suck, girl."

Quinn just laughed. She wouldn't deny that even though she was talking to Mercedes, her whole being listened to every line that Rachel was singing.

_And some way all the love that we had can be saved… Whatever it takes we'll find a way. Believe me, I will make you see all the things that your heart needs to know_

And as Rachel belted the highlight of the entire song, Quinn smiled to herself.

The tables were finally turned.

This time, Rachel will be waiting for her.

This time, Rachel isn't giving up.

o-o-o-o-o

Even though her rendition of Celine's classic earned a brief standing ovation from the guests, it was still a wedding event and a couple should be married.

And though no matter how much she wanted to walk towards Quinn while singing that song, Rachel fought the urge because with the way things turned out last night, she was sure she was bound for another rejection. And she couldn't take another shoot down just yet.

It was Brittany and Santana's moment and though she had a whole lot of feelings going on inside her head, she needed to put her friends first.

As the opening notes of Shania Twain's "From This Moment" played, the processional started. And as Rachel started singing the lines, the popular Schuester twins – Sophia and Olivia – walked down the aisle as the flower girls. The two 3-year old brown-haired girls wore matching pink dresses as they scattered more, more flower petals from their brown-pink flower basket.

In the middle of her singing, Rachel had to smile at this.

_She'd definitely get these two kids at her and Quinn's wedding._

Oh, God. What this wedding does to her is crazy.

After the cute Schuester twins, came in Brittany's chubby 5-year old cousin, Nicholas, who was the ring bearer.

He was mirroring what seemed like the Pierce family's signature smile – the one very similar to Brits whenever she thinks she just said something really smart.

As Rachel continued to harmonize the place with her own rendition of the Shania classic, the bridesmaids and their escorts came next. Mercedes, Tina, Lauren and yes, Kurt were the bridesmaids. The three girls wore simple blue dresses while Kurt wore one of his designs, also in the shade of blue. Sam, who was paired with Mercedes, Puck, who was paired with Lauren, Mike, who was paired with Tina and Finn, who was paired with Kurt, all wore the similar vanilla-colored tux and blue tie that Artie was wearing.

Rachel smiled at the sight of her Glee clubbers obviously loving the attention and their participation in the wedding. As she sang the song, her thoughts came crashing in again.

She's sure she'd have the same set of bridesmaids and escorts at her wedding, only they wouldn't be in blue, maybe red or pink.

She had to control herself at the embarrassment she felt planning _her and Quinn's_ _wedding _in her mind. She and Quinn weren't even dating. If she remembers it correctly, Quinn officially walked out of that possibility last night.

But she can't help it. As she sang the song, Rachel knew...

There's no one she'd walk that aisle with but Quinn.

She smiled again and she was sure she was blushing at her own thoughts.

Then, as the music changed signaling the switch of song from Shania's hit to the song Santana picked, Rachel's heart started beating faster.

This is the point of the ceremony that the maid of honor enters the scene.

_Was this also the point that the wedding singer was supposed to find it hard breathing?_

Good thing for Rachel, the song had an intro long enough to let her breathing catch its original pace. If not, she'd probably humiliate herself by not hitting the first line right.

She didn't know but being stunned in the presence of Quinn's grace had been a hard thing for her. If Quinn would always make an effort to look good, Rachel was sure her lifespan would be shorter, way, way shorter.

Then, there Quinn was.

As the instrumentals of Alanis Morissette's "Head Over Feet" played in the background, Rachel felt as if starring in a movie told in slow motion. She could only hear the fast beating of her heart along with the music and it was like everything blurred in her vision except for that one blonde-haired girl entering the wedding arch all the way down the aisle.

_ I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again. I thought about it._

Quinn walked down the aisle in her effortlessly elegant cream-colored draped dress and red stilettos.

Rachel swallowed. Now, she was sure her lifespan had been reduced by a few years because of the rate of heartbeat she was having at that moment.

_ If Quinn would look that good on their wedding, she'd marry Quinn everyday. _

The love of Rachel's life wore her blonde hair in a flirty bouffant ponytail with some of her bangs covering her forehead highlighting her face which only featured a light pink-flushed makeup but her eyes were smokey enough to show the green in them – the green eyes that had Rachel falling over and over every time she looked at them.

_ You've already won me over in spite of me and don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet._

To Rachel, Quinn had always been the most beautiful girl. Ever since high school, just seeing Quinn's face always made her smile. It's one of the things that Rachel loved most about Quinn. She's always ladylike, demure and sophisticated. She didn't need to try hard to be beautiful. Just with that smile alone, she had the capability to melt hearts – or at least one particular brunette's heart.

Quinn smiled as she walked down the aisle.

_And then, Rachel died. Her ghost is singing the song._

She felt so lost that she nearly forgot the next line. It was supposed to be Santana's song for Brittany but Rachel felt like it was her song to Quinn.

_ Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it. It's all your fault._

Good thing there was a brief break in between the chorus and the second verse because Rachel badly needed to recompose her breathing. She needed to concentrate. She couldn't let Quinn on keeping her mind occupied with all this beauty and all this wedding thing because this day is supposedly Santana and Brittany's day.

_It is Brittany and Santana's wedding day, Rachel, not yours. Focus, Rachel Berry._

Focus.

Then, Quinn smiled again.

_Focus on singing the song, Rachel! Not focus on Quinn._

As Quinn turned at the end of the aisle, she looked and smiled at Rachel.

Rachel's heart dropped. _It's official. She's dead._

_Oh, God. I'm being terribly abused! When she smiled earlier, I died! Now, she looked at me and smiled. I'm double-dead._

Focus, Rach.

As she sang the next verse, her breathing became easier. She still stole glances at Quinn but her heartbeat was back to normal. She really had done a good job with all the breathing exercise she had before.

_ Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole. You're so much braver than I gave you credit for._

Santana walked down first with her mama and papa on her sides, she was wearing her ivory-colored dress and that hair flower as she held her bridal bouquet with both of her hands. Her mama wore, of course, wore a white dress while his dad was wearing a classy black tuxedo.

Everyone was smiling at how Santana carried herself. She was still Santana Lopez after all. If it was just appropriate for the occasion, Rachel was sure Santana had already rolled her eyes at the amusement of the people that were looking at her.

Then, as Santana kissed her mama and papa at the end of the aisle, Brittany came in next. She was wearing a long white strapless dress highlighted by a deep pink lace tied around her waist. Her hair was up in a chignon bun that exposed her unbelievably sexy neck. She was wearing a short a birdcage-style ivory veil that covered half of her face, only teasingly. The veil was attached to a white feather tulle that rested on the side of her head, highlighting the sexiness of her updo.

As Brittany walked down the aisle holding her pink bouquet of gardenias on her right hand as her left arm was linked on her father's, Rachel looked at Santana.

_ You're the best listener that I've ever met. You're my best friend._

And as she looked at the waiting Latina, Rachel's eyes welled in tears of joy because she saw something close to magic.

_She saw love._

She saw Santana looking at Brittany and Santana never looked vulnerable and soft. She was looking at Brittany with loving eyes and Rachel felt warm on the inside. It's not everyday that you look at someone and see love reflect on their whole being just because they were looking at the person they love. Not to mention it was Santana friggin' Lopez, who Rachel once thought was just a heartless bitch that had no future but working as a pole dancer.

She turned to look at Brittany who was smiling yet, the tears were obvious in her eyes. She was mirroring the same look on Santana's eyes. Rachel smiled again because who would've thought that Brittany was capable of not confusing love as infatuation or lust? After all, she's the same girl who thought that misogynist and massage were the same.

There's something in the way that Santana and Brittany looked at each other. Rachel was sure she'd seen this look before.

As the song ended and as both Brittany and Santana faced the minister, silence covered the area as they all listened to the ceremony.

Rachel descended the platform to walk back to her seat but with the rarity, clarity and magic of the moment, she couldn't help but to dart her eyes toward the only person she could think of.

She turned to look at Quinn, and in the rarest of occurrences, she saw those eyes looking back at her.

For a fraction of second, she saw those eyes with a look almost similar to what she saw in Santana and Brittany earlier. Rachel wasn't able to decipher it fully because the blonde, as what's expected, looked away almost instantly.

But Rachel Berry didn't any more affirmation or proof, she smiled to herself as she put her attention back to the ceremony.

Even if Quinn instantly looked away, Rachel didn't miss the way she looked at her because Rachel had always known this kind of look. Yes, she was right. She had seen it before –the way Brittany and Santana were looking at each other.

It was the way Quinn used to look at her and far more than it "used" to be the way she looked at her, it was the way Quinn looked at her when she came back to her life more than two months ago.

It's the same way Quinn looked at Rachel when she watched her rehearse or when she talked to her about her interviews. It's the way she looked at the diva every time she sang or every time they had readings. It's the way Quinn looked at her... everyday for the past two months.

_The_ Rachel Berry didn't need anything else because Rachel Berry had a plan.

She took her phone out from her pouch and punched a text.

_**Charles, I don't know if this will be sudden but I need to talk to you about a huge career move I'm planning. It can't wait. We'll meet the moment I land back on the city. Don't worry it's not alcohol-related I'm way past that.**_

Rachel's heart pounded as she sent the text.

She turned to look at Quinn again and smiled as she saw the blonde wipe a stray tear. But before she could focus back to the ceremony, she punched another text.

_**By the way, Charles. Don't try to talk me out of it. Whatever my decision is, it's final.**_

She sighed as she put her phone back to her purse.

_If she can't convince Quinn that Rachel Berry was willing to go all the way for her, maybe the world can._

o-o-o-o-o

The entire wedding went perfectly and finally, it was time for their vows.

As the teary-eyed Santana Lopez turned to her side to face Brittany, she sighed and managed a small smile.

Santana didn't understand how happy she felt but she never felt so happy, so alive, so in love. She thought that people crying at weddings in movies are overdramatic but now, she knew that some of what the movies tell us was actually true.

There's this different kind of happiness that being tied to love of your life brings. It's borne not out of responsibility or duty or obligation but the chance to spend the rest of your life not fearing you'd go through life alone.

Santana's heart pounded against her chest and though she will never admit it, she felt like crying. If the welling tears in her eyes were any indication, she's bound for some teary talk with Quinn for a moment in the reception.

She was so happy that even if she gets hit by a car after the wedding she'd die happy. She's so happy that even if Rachel wore one of those argyle sweaters again, she wouldn't care.

"Brittany Pierce, I texted you yesterday and I said sorry in advance because my vow sucks," Santana smirked earning casual laughs amongst the guests. She's still Santana Lopez, after all. "I came here still the imperfect person who sang a song to you in high school. I'm still that Santana Lopez, Brit. Although I'm not scared anymore to wear that shirt you made for me, I still have many fears and many imperfections."

_There, the world ended._ Santana Lopez dropped a tear in front of everyone.

She knew that with her self-destructing tendencies, it will be hard for her and Brittany but the whole point of saying yes to marrying her was to commit to a life with Brittany even if it wasn't easy, even if it almost breaks them apart. Any unmarried couples could break and find another one but the purpose of marriage is not to be legally tied but to be reminded everyday that you once loved each other. Marriage to Santana was something so important. Once in her life, she thought she'd never be able to marry because she was a horrible person but what Brittany told her everyday since they started to feel something for each other, was that she was more than that; that she was a person someone could actually love and love enough to be proposed to and promise her forever.

She married Brittany because she wanted to prove to herself and to whoever gave her Brittany that she deserved her. Santana would go to hell and back just to prove how much she loved her.

"Oh, God. Help me," Santana said as she tried to joke out what just happened. "But I came here because I love you. And I swear in the name of the late Amy Winehouse, I would be willing to go beyond those imperfections just to be the perfect wife for you. I started it here by saying this heartfelt speech in front of everyone who thought I was just a heartless bitch who pushed people around and cursed them in Spanish," the Latina laughed despite the stray tears she had. Brittany who was blushing and also-teary eyed also giggled at this. "I learned a lot from you, Brit. Everything that they didn't teach in school, like growing a heart or feeling sympathy for Berry with that huge nose she has, I learned it from you."

Santana smiled as she glanced at Rachel who, for some reason, was crying already.

The Latina continued, "You taught me that it's not enough to have a heart, it has to beat. And I thank you for showing Santana how to make her stoned heart beat."

All the guests cooed, touched at Santana's simple, funny, yet heartwarming vow. "And I swear from now on, that this heart should only beat for you, no matter what."

Santana sniffed as she slid the ring on Brittany's finger. Brittany's tears fell as she stared at the ring. She didn't know what she was feeling. She was so happy. She was feeling so light that she thought it was possible to fly.

She thought she knew a lot about love. She thought she knew everything she needed to know about that damned four-letter word just because she filled herself with romantic movies and many romantic-comedies when she missed Santana in the middle of those five years they spent apart. Katherine Heigl had been one of her very influences just because she's the epitome of happy endings. She kept repeating those romantic dramas particularly that movie which starred Mandy Moore and Shane West just because no matter how many times she watched it, it still made her cry and one time, she cried so hard because she was freaking frustrated that Mandy Moore died as if her tears would change the ending of the story.

But at that particular wedding, she can't help but feel so many things she didn't see in those movies she watched. She felt love, happiness, excitement and a dose of other feelings and she's feeling them all at once. She really felt like she's capable of doing anything; like she's invincible.

Often times, these kinds of feelings confuse her partly because she didn't know what to feel first but mostly because she's just confused most of the time. But at that moment, it was so sure, it was so final that she didn't feel the need of understanding everything because she knew Santana would be there for probably the rest of their lives and they had so much time to understand how it felt standing in front of a lot people promising your life to the person who meant your life to you.

She loved Santana so much that she couldn't think of how to live a day without her anymore. Brittany was so wrong about so many things in her life but she knew that Santana wasn't one of them.

"Santana Lopez," Brittany said as her monotoned voice broke. Tears began falling and some of the guests were already in the verge of crying, too. "All my life I've been so unsure of lot things my in life. You know, sometimes, I forget my middle name and sometimes, I still think that zombies are real," the blonde chuckled.

"But out of all the many unsure things in my life, you're not one those because the moment I told you I wanted to deserve you after we graduated, I've been sure that you're the one."

Santana sniffed again only to let her tears fall once more.

"When I was younger, I asked my mom why I can't seem to memorize the alphabet or why can't I count the numbers above 99 without saying 111 and go back 12 after all. I asked my dad why I wasn't smart, why I was given so little, why I was so inadequate. But they only told me that we are given a little on one aspect of our life because there are other aspects in our lives that are full and rich. I don't know why they'd say that to a five-year old me but I understand them now. I love you and I don't care if I don't have enough information inside my brain, at least I have enough in my heart. I love you and from this day forward, I promise you that I'm yours to keep and we will not be afraid of anything else because we have enough. We have enough because we have each other."

Brittany wiped the tears off her cheeks as she did the same to Santana. She then slid the ring on Santana's finger and as they hugged, a warm round of applause came.

Both Quinn and Rachel just watched and clapped their hands for Santana and Brittany.

Quinn was all teary and she was just too happy for Santana; that finally, one of them was put out of misery. It gave Quinn hope; that maybe, her chance was also bound to come soon.

Rachel just stood there proudly watching Brittany fulfill one of the things she had wanted all her life – to be enough for Santana. The diva smiled to herself because it was like watching a re-run of Lois and Clark. Brittany was right; Lois and Clark were always meant to be together, no matter what.

_But how about Rachel and Quinn? _She thought to herself as she looked at Quinn who, again, was looking at her. The blonde didn't look at away this time.

Instead, Quinn smiled at her and Rachel only smiled back.

It was like a silent agreement.

This was the aftermath – no grand declaration of love, no show choirs singing songs of sorry and love or second chances. It only took a look from Quinn for Rachel to have that one leap of faith.

Rachel smiled to herself. She can't wait to get back to New York.

_ If she's to love Quinn again, she had to love her right._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I have to admit, I was teary eyed when I was writing Brit's vow. Hahaha I dunno why! So, I think, I named all the songs we used in this chapter so, I won't mention them again. And Quinn's look in this chapter is inspired by her red carpet look on the premiere of "I Am Number Four" way back. It's my all-time favorite Dianna look!<br>**_

_**Sorry for that one long chapter, I just wanted to start the next chapter with a whole lot of Berry madness so, yeah.**_

_**For the next chapter: Before going back to New York, Rachel needs to set things right in Lima. **_


	42. Chapter 42: Concepts

**A/N: *insert sad face* I know it's been a long time coming. Honestly, I had trouble with my writing. I must say, I might have lost IT somewhere along the way so I really struggled with this one. I re-wrote this entire chapter for like 8 times, all beginning from scratch. That's how messed up I've been.**

***insert hopeful face* But, since watching "I Am Unicorn", especially the Puck/Beth scene which had me crying, the Shelby/Quinn scene with Beth's photo and the bitter sweet Brittana moment, I have put myself together and regained courage to continue. Thanks to Quinn's back-to-blonde hair.**

**So, here's a looooong chapter and I'm terribly sorry for my rambling.**

* * *

><p>When you hear "wedding reception", images that would come to your mind are traditional white wedding cakes, traditional banquet foods, white seats and tables, but Quinn wasn't so much a fan of tradition. The reception was themed, of course, in pink and blue. She had saturated herself over the said colors and she swore to herself no blue and pink for a while after this.<p>

The wedding cake was a 5-layered vanilla, designed with pink and blue polka dots. Brittany designed the cake, discussion over. There were various foods you'd normally see in weddings but the highlight for Quinn were the sweets placed at other end of the room. There were cotton candies, lollipops, and chocolates in all shapes and flavors possible – they were pink and blue, _gah_.

It reminded everyone that the couple is a mixture of sugar and spice, a mixture of pink and blue – at first you don't think they'd blend well but if you look again, they make a cute combination.

And while Quinn was too busy taking in her recent success, Rachel contemplated for her next moves.

Rachel had been too tired herself – for repeatedly telling herself she'd fight for Quinn and then retreat just because something else happened. She knew she can't keep going like this.

All the people who knew Rachel could certainly agree that if there was something so funny yet admirable – but sometimes annoying – about Rachel, it had been her crazy planning skills. She always believed in the power of a well-organized and well-defined step-by-step plan.

Besides, it was Quinn who said that she had always believed in the Rachel she knew. The Rachel Quinn knew is the Rachel that _planned_ things from point zero to 100, even the uncharted possibilities could be covered.

But you're probably wrong in thinking that she's actually planning the whole thing extravagantly. Like how she'd use her ninja skills to execute a well-secluded plan only to reveal a grand declaration of love. No. She even had to convince herself that she wouldn't get Quinn by singing the world's greatest love song to her on National TV, international TV or if the aliens had TV.

So, she had to start where it all started.

In Lima.

But then, Rachel knew she doesn't have the powers to turn back time and reverse the effects of their choices in senior year. She would never do that, because no matter how messed up everything turned out, she wouldn't change a thing about her senior year with Quinn. Her senior year which she spent almost every day at the Fabray residence watching musicals of her choice and Quinn's sci-fi films she never really understood. Her senior year which she spent bringing new books to Quinn simply because she knew how much Quinn loved reading. There was a point she ran out of choices of books to bring and she ended up bringing Quinn a freaking textbook about Public Relations because she always commented and wondered about how Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears' publicists were handling them. She remembered laughing in embarrassment about the book and Quinn also laughed at the pathetic, yet incredibly sweet gesture. To her surprise, Quinn read it anyway. In fact, Quinn spent one day just talking about it.

As Rachel sat by the reserved table inside the huge interconnected banquet room of Shawnee Country Club, she reminisced about how she spent her days at the Fabray residence eating Judy's homemade vegan bagels.

And then, like a bolt of lightning hitting her, Rachel's eyes grew wide in the presence of a new idea.

That there.

There's where she should start. Not in the Fabray residence but with Judy.

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel had been completely silent for the next few minutes as her same tablemates from the dinner rehearsal talked about the wedding and all.

She had been eating the vegan pasta that wasn't half bad but with each minute that passed, she felt closer to the impending doom that she created out of her imagination.

_Judy won't kill me, would she?_

Rachel had fought every urge to drink those two shots of vodka that Puck had offered her. Quinn had allowed her to drink for this night but Rachel won't. Though the alcohol would help her confidence in approaching Judy Fabray, she's determined to do it sober. She respected Judy simply because she's Quinn's mother.

In the middle of Rachel's pros-and-cons contemplation inside her head, she saw Judy talking to Brittany's mom across the room. They were looking at Quinn who was busy being dragged by Brittany everwhere and they were probably sharing a rather motherly talk. When Brittany's mom left Judy to get her husband, Judy was left alone just staring at Quinn.

Rachel took this as her cue to end her own life. _Goodbye cruel world, goodbye._

The diva excused herself from the rest of the group as she subtlety made her way towards Quinn's mom. Every step she took, she felt like running away – like she always did. The closer she got to Judy, she felt like pretending she was just sleep walking and then run away forever ignoring the what ifs – like she always did.

But there was something inside Rachel that was heavy enough to encourage her to pursue this. It wasn't guilt or shame or the constant need of making it up to Quinn – but the reason for it all: love.

She loves everything about Quinn from the good things to the frequent mood swings, her love for sci-fi, her way of scaring people away when she's mad; her dysfunctional family. After all, these are the things that shaped Quinn to who she was and who she'd become which – though somehow different – were both awesome and _enough_ for Rachel.

Then, she stood there: in front of Judy Fabray.

Rachel had to clench her toes to be able to hang on to this. For a fraction of second, she thought about just passing by Judy and pretend that she was headed towards the restroom but she remembered that the restroom was on the other side of the facility.

She had words but they seemed stuck inside Rachel's now dry and handicapped throat.

"Rachel."

What a shame. Judy had to be the one to break the tension.

"Mrs. Fabray," Rachel managed as she let out a forced small smile.

"I'm thinking it took a lot of courage for you to come up to me," Judy said smiling. There was no malice in Judy's voice but it wasn't nice. Maybe it was a little sarcastic and Rachel only knew it was sarcastic because there are no other people who could do sarcasm like the Fabrays.

"Yes," Rachel said now learning how to drive around Judy.

"How are you doing?" Judy asked as she sipped on her glass of wine. Judy was surprisingly and scaringly calm – almost like the surprisingly and scaringly calm Quinn.

"I'm doing fine," Rachel said as she swallowed. She initiated the supposed conversation but she couldn't bring herself up to it.

"I guess it was worth it."

Now there the venom was in Judy's tone. Rachel knew Quinn had to get it from somewhere.

"Mrs. Fabray, can we talk?" Rachel asked as she felt her feet press harder to the ground. "I mean in private."

Judy's features relaxed as she heard the words from Rachel. Suddenly, Rachel saw a glimpse of the Judy Fabray that baked those vegan bagels for them.

She and Judy, while trying their best not to be noticed by anyone, walked towards the country club's terrace just outside the banquet room. As they reached the terrace, they both felt the cool night breeze against their skin. Judy sipped the last of her wine as Rachel fiddled with a part of her dress.

"What do you want to talk about?"

Rachel sighed. _I guess this is it._

"Can I call you Judy?"

"No."

That hurt. A lot.

She sighed again not retreating from the initial pain that Judy's harshness caused her. "Mrs. Fabray, say something to me. Anything. Anything that would give me an idea of how mad you are at me or how you defy me for doing that to Quinn."

Judy smiled sadly, "Rachel, you're still that little girl I met a few years back. You still think you can get everyone around your fingers if you think you've said the right things."

"You're mad at me and I understand but I can't stand here and wait to leave Lima again without at least talking to you. I know that you know about me and your daughter," Rachel said trying to keep her voice steady. On the inside, she was shaking.

"I do, Rachel. I know," Judy said as she nodded.

"I'm talking to you right now, Mrs. Fabray, to let you know that I am not giving up on your daughter."

Saying it to herself or to Santana or to anyone felt okay, there was a bit of fear and excitement admitting it to herself or to others but none of those feelings can ever compare to the way she felt saying it in front Judy. This is Quinn's mother we're talking out. It felt surreal.

Then, Judy smiled. It was a freaking small smile and all that was certain about Rachel's image of the impending doom vanished. It relieved her but confused her at the same time.

"I must admit Rachel. I was so disappointed in you."

The words were slow and clear. Rachel knew all about this but it still had a different effect hearing it straight from the mother of the person she loves.

"When you were seniors I thought I was just imagining it."

"What was it?"

"The connection you had with Quinnie."

Rachel half-smiled as she looked out the vast golf course of the country club.

"But I could only fool myself for a little while. I knew there was something more. It took time for me to accept that it was happening but the more I saw it in my daughter everytime she got home happy and at ease, it became easier. Slowly but surely, I was learning to accept that my daughter isn't what I and her father raised her to be."

Rachel just listened. She didn't feel the need to speak.

"It wasn't comforting at all because it defies all of what I made her believe since she was young but everytime you spent time together at home, I observed her and I was sure I never saw her that happy," Judy's silent voice broke.

Rachel looked at her only to find her in silent tears.

As Judy wiped the tears gently off her face with her one hand, she smiled still looking out in the open, "It suffocated me – how happy you looked together."

Then, Rachel felt her heart beat faster than usual; tears brimmed in her eyes. This is Quinn's mother telling Rachel how real it was, back then.

"But again, I doubted it would last because I knew Quinn. I thought it was just a passing phase but that only lasted until she asked me if she could cancel UCLA and come with you to New York."

It pained both of the ladies not only it was a memory of the good old days but because both of them both wanted it back so bad.

"When I asked her why," Judy paused to look at Rachel and the younger girl met her eyes, "She told me you were so important to her."

The tears made their way out of Rachel's eyes. She didn't know this part of the story.

"Then, I said yes."

"Why?"

"Because I also saw how happy you were with her and I felt as if you also needed her as much as she needed you. We didn't really talk about it or how it would change her life forever but the moment I said yes, she cried. She cried so hard she hugged me and I felt as if I had my daughter back, completely," Judy's tears fell more rapidly. "We have been in constant struggle to fix our relationship but it only took one Rachel Berry to make that possible, for that, I was thankful you happened to her."

Rachel swallowed. These words, they were drowning her.

"I chose to believe that look in your eyes that longed for her so I let her go."

Rachel closed her eyes. She knew her so-called impending doom was yet to come.

"But when she came home that summer, I regretted ever believing that look I saw in you."

The brunette clenched her fists in effort to stay steady and alive.

"But she didn't."

Despite the tears, Rachel looked at Judy with questioning eyes.

"The first thing she told me when I sat beside her on her first night here was 'please don't hate her'," Judy said as she sighed.

Rachel could only bite her bottom lip. Quinn really loved her that much.

"And the second thing she said, 'don't regret ever letting me go, mom'," Judy smiled again. "And the third thing she said 'I don't regret ever going for it'."

For one brief moment, both Rachel and Judy just stared at nowhere, imagining things. Then Judy spoke again, "And I was mad, I'm still her mother. But she told me that I should learn to trust her when she said that there's so much about Rachel Berry despite everything that had happened and she chose to hang on to that even if it hurt a thousand times and more."

Rachel felt a weird rush of happiness inside her. Judy's words were so beautiful that it pained Rachel more but these words also brought a whole new rush of hope that maybe, things are just about to get better.

"Will you be able to forgive me? Ever?" Rachel asked even though she was too afraid of the answer.

"I respect your fathers, Rachel. That's why I had thought of every way to think that what you did was an honest mistake or a mistake that you did just because you were young and you were bound to make those mistakes."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Fabray," Rachel said as she sighed. She didn't know that asking for forgiveness could be draining and tiring. It felt like torture; as if everything she did in the past was firing back at her. But yet again, she refused to give in from the shock.

"Everyday Quinnie spent here over that summer, I've seen how much she struggled to start over with her life. Someday, Rachel you will understand the pain I had gone through if you ever see your daughter's life fall to pieces for the second time around."

Rachel bit her bottom lip again.

"Honestly, I wished I had stopped her from being with you and continued to raise her to be the person I thought she was very capable of. I wished I had sheltered her from falling in love with someone who didn't know how to really commit just yet. I wished she had settled for something safe; like being with those guys she never really liked but at least didn't hurt her. I might have saved her but I didn't. When I saw her life fall apart, I felt like a failure. I don't know if you understand how it's like to fail at something but it doesn't feel good."

"Trust me, I know."

"But when I ran to your fathers, they told me that I raised her well," Judy smiled. "They said I had raised her well despite violating the rules we had set on her. Looking at her as she tried to put her life together, I realized your fathers were right. I raised her well enough that she knew what she wanted and how much she was willing to give to get it."

"I agree with them. She's become something more than the person you wanted her to be, Mrs. Fabray."

"Do you love her?"

Without hesitating, Rachel nodded. She simply nodded because she was afraid that words would be inadequate.

"We all know that Rachel."

"You do?"

Judy nodded, "I just hope your fathers raised you well enough for you to know how much you love her and how much you are willing to sacrifice to get her back, if that's what you're trying to do."

"That's exactly what I'm planning to do."

When Judy didn't answer, Rachel asked, "Why are you being so nice?"

Judy smiled and patted Rachel's shoulder. "You must have forgotten you're talking to an adult."

Rachel smiled. She didn't expect her to be this nice to her but she was grateful for this; at least there's one less person who's mad at her. "I just didn't expect you to be nice to me after it all."

"You did something terrible, that's why you have been so used to thinking that everyone will be mad at you. But I have to say this, it's not about you. It's about Quinn."

Rachel just looked at her,

"I'm old Rachel and I think, I should know better than let you close to her again. But I can't help but think about how happy she was the day I said yes to her plans of coming to New York with you. And all I want is to see her happy like that, again."

Rachel looked at Judy with a tad of confusion. She understood what she just said but she cannot absorb it: there's someone who actually wants her for Quinn.

"We all just want Quinn to be happy because she's been through so much in the past years of her life. And if trusting you again is the risk I have to take to see that smile on my daughter's face again, I'd take it. She's a wonderful person, she deserves to be happy. I'm sure you know that."

"I do and yes, she's a wonderful person."

"I'm letting Quinn to decide on this but I'm not stopping you. I don't trust you completely but I choose to trust the Rachel Berry that Quinnie was talking about. I know she's in there."

Rachel smiled finally absorbing.

"Thank you, Judy."

Judy just smiled and patted Rachel on the shoulder before she went back inside the banquet room.

o-o-o-o-o

Meanwhile, Quinn sat inside the banquet room pretending to listen to Coach Sylvester's stories about the new "miserable" Cheerios. She was laughing to the coach's story but her mind has long been disturbed since she saw Rachel approach her mother.

She's been watching Rachel all night long even if she didn't want to. She can't keep her eyes off her for some reason that's why she didn't miss the brunette approaching her mom. She wasn't nervous and she didn't wonder what they were talking about because, hello, there's only one person Judy Fabray and Rachel Berry could possibly be talking about. Although, she wondered why there were talking, she chose to ignore it – or at least she pretended to.

"So, what are your thoughts, Q?"

She heard Coach Sylvester ask her.

_Oh God. How can I answer this? I wasn't even listening._

When she opened her mouth to speak of something like a safe comment, a voice interrupted their conversation.

"Coach Sylvester, mind if we borrow Quinn for a while?"

She turned to look behind her and saw the Berry men smiling at the Cheerios coach. Coach Sylvester returned a smile and said, "Oh, I don't mind at all. She isn't listening to my ramblings anyway."

Quinn turned to the coach and was about to deny it when the Coach spoke again.

"Oh, don't even deny it, Q," Coach Sylvester as she smiled. Then, she turned to the Berry's, "She'd been staring at your daughter for the past two hours."

The Berry men laughed and Quinn was sure she was blushing.

_Oh God._

Quinn stood and just smiled knowingly at Coach Sylvester before she was led by the Berry men to a quieter place inside the room.

Quinn was never nervous talking to the Berry men. They were like Rachel to her, they saw right through her. She loved these guys because they had guided her when she needed a father that Russell Fabray never was. But she felt different about this.

Maybe, it's because the Berry men never really forced her to talk. She was the one that came to them when it hurt so much and they just listened and just talked when she's done. But right now, they're the ones dragging her as if wanting her to tell them something they want to know.

Do they know how she shut Rachel out last night?

Are they gonna be mad at her about it?

She knew that Hiram and Leroy would never see it that way but they were still Berry's; they still have an unpredictable daughter. She must have gotten it from somewhere, right?

Quinn's anxiousness was finally put to rest when they reached the far end of the room. It was a lot quieter in there than any other place inside the room.

"Sorry for dragging you out like that," Hiram said as he smiled.

Quinn returned the smile and said, "It's okay. I wasn't really listening."

The blonde chuckled as she admitted that her coach was right, the Berry men did, too.

"How are you, sweetie?" Leroy asked.

He was a big guy and his voice was deep but when he says "sweetie" as her term of endearment for Quinn, it always sounded comforting and sweet.

"I'm fine, Dad," as she uttered the words, especially the last one, she felt her heart sink. She had always addressed the Berry men the way Rachel did. Before, it felt really good because the Berry's thought she'd eventually become part of that family and not in the "Rachel's sister" kind of way. But it took one year and a half of bulimia for all of them to realize that maybe, it's the sister kind after all.

"This is a nice wedding, Quinn. You have a gift," Hiram said as she put her arms around the blonde.

"I've been told. Thanks, Daddy," Quinn said, again feeling the weird kind of pain.

"How are things going with you and Rachel?"

_Finally. Someone dared to ask._

Quinn knew this is the whole reason they dragged her here but she also knew that they dreaded to ask Quinn about Rachel in fear that she'd break down like how they always saw her before.

"We're fine," Quinn said.

The Berry men looked at her as if not believing what she just said.

Quinn rolled her eyes as she forced a smile, "Okay, I don't know. But it's over now."

"Have you two talked already?"

"Yes. We've settled everything last night. Maybe it's safe to say we're both moving forward now."

Hiram's features went from happy to sad. As Hiram's eyes looked sadly at Quinn who only chose to stay poker-faced at that moment, Leroy chuckled.

Both Hiram and Quinn turned to him.

"You actually believe our daughter's giving up on you?"

"Well, she has to," Quinn said sharply. _Welcome back, HBIC Quinn Fabray._

This always happens when Quinn knows she's about to lose a discussion: _old _Quinn Fabray possesses her body and she has no choice but to retort because let's face it; Quinn's number one defense mechanism is isolation – the separation of feelings in attempt to rationalize the exact thing that has happened.

Though a little taken aback with Quinn's sudden change in mood, Leroy continued, "Sweetie, we both know Rachel. Aside from the fact that she's the kind who does everything to get what she wants, she's in love with you. That's a deadly combination, Quinn: love and determination."

"Nope," Hiram interrupted. Both Quinn and Leroy turned to him, "Love and determination isn't a deadly combination. The combination of love and Rachel Berry is."

Quinn half-laughed at this.

"Sweetie, we're not saying that you give her a chance right away. Actually, you have to give yourself a chance first."

She just looked at them not knowing how to actually respond.

"You're not being fair to yourself, Quinn. Here you go again stopping yourself from being happy. Remember when you told us how your mindset had changed since the baby gate?"

Quinn smiled sadly as she nodded.

"Do you also remember when you said that Rachel has helped you forgive yourself of everything that had happened from being pregnant with Beth to giving her away to actually missing her?"

The blonde nodded again.

Hiram kissed Quinn's temple as he said, "That's how you gave yourself a chance, Quinn. You accepted the things you cannot change and made an effort to those things you can still change. That's why you decided to make friends with Rachel."

"And do you remember how you accepted the fact that you were in love with her?"

Quinn froze for a while but eventually relaxed when she felt Hiram squeeze her hand. Quinn nodded because she remembers everything very vividly.

"And… do you remember how you didn't have second thoughts of telling her about it because you wanted to be with her?"

Again, Quinn just nodded.

"If you still remember all those feelings, Quinn, then you're still you: the Quinn Fabray who didn't pity herself over the wrong things that happened in the past. You're a fighter, Sweetie."

Quinn just looked at Leroy who smiled at her sweetly. "You have to remember these concepts everyday because it makes you who you are."

To say honestly, going through a tough heartbreak, then a year of bulimia and four years of reminder that you weren't good enough for the person you loved – it can make you forget these kinds of concepts.

Having a baby at sixteen, being kicked out of your own house and lying to everyone about the father of your baby – these kinds of events have the ability to make you forget about the person you really are.

Quinn almost forgot these concepts. Quinn almost forgot how to give herself a chance because she was so hurt. She was so focused on guarding her heart with her walls that she didn't notice there wasn't anything to protect anymore. She lost that heart that Quinn Fabray always had but kept hidden.

Or maybe, it's still there; it just wasn't beating anymore.

_It's not enough to have a heart, it has to beat._

She felt her tears approach her eyes but she knew better. When it came to her emotions, _Quinn always knew better._

Sometimes, Quinn felt as if fate has played a huge joke on her life.

Sometimes, she felt that Finn was right; maybe she doesn't feel anything anymore.

"Quinn, when you feel like sinking back into that version of you that you hated, you just have to become the person you really are. People and events cannot tell you who you are, _you _tell them."

Quinn looked up to Leroy who gave her an encouraging smile.

"We all want you to be happy but our wishes can only do so much. You have to want it for yourself."

Hiram sighed as he spoke, "Quinn, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

Quinn closed her eyes taking their words in. As much as she didn't want to admit it, they were right and Quinn was probably wrong. Isolation of feelings and emotions can only go so far; at one point everything will break down into the realization.

_This is your life, Quinn Fabray._

Yes, life wasn't easy for Quinn Fabray.

And if there was anyone inside that room that had a miserable life, it wasn't Coach Sylvester who never found love; it wasn't Rachel Berry who had love but threw it all away; it was Quinn Fabray, because she knew what love is, she had love in front of her to grab but as of that moment, she's choosing to ignore it.

o-o-o-o-o

Nearly an hour after that talk with Rachel's fathers, Quinn had stayed silent. She wasn't thinking of anything in particular, just their words floating inside her mind as concepts waiting for her accept.

_No, I can't let myself believe them because if I do, it means I'd have to believe her._

Then, as she thought about this, her eyes sought Rachel who had been missing-in-action since she saw her talking to Judy. She was nowhere inside the banquet room and Quinn's eyes kept searching.

She saw Brittany and Santana on the dance floor bringing it on with Puck and Mike and also Artie. The other Glee clubbers gathered around them as if it was just high school again. The other guests just watched amused at the sight.

And then, finally, her eyes landed on Rachel who was still in the terrace. She could see her through the glass windows and Quinn could tell she was freezing.

Quinn rolled her eyes as she stood and grab Finn's dress jacket that was resting on one of the chairs. Slowly, and without dragging attention to herself, she walked towards Rachel.

A few steps away, she coughed intentionally to make her presence felt. Rachel turned to her tentatively and just smiled before looking back at the huge dark golf course that was only lit in certain parts.

"What are you doing alone here?" Quinn asked as she stood beside Rachel and handed her Finn's jacket.

"I'm just thinking," Rachel replied as she took the jacket from Quinn's hand, but instead of wrapping it around herself, she draped it around Quinn's bare shoulders. She felt Quinn stiff at the contact and she chuckled at how Quinn slightly blushed.

"I actually brought it out here for you," Quinn said as she smiled.

"I don't need it. I spent the past five years in New York, Quinn, remember? It's New York. Everything is cold. You need it. You spent five years in a freaking sunny city."

Quinn laughed at this, "I don't know if I should agree with that."

"Yes, of course you should. You've been so accustomed to defying my ideas that you can't even accept actual facts from me."

Quinn looked and observed Rachel and she saw a different Rachel Berry.

No.

It wasn't different. In fact, it looked too familiar.

"As I was saying, I was just thinking," Rachel said when Quinn didn't answer.

This Rachel in front of her was too confident.

"What were you thinking about?"

"You," Rachel said without hesitating.

This Rachel in front of her was direct.

Frankly, she didn't expect Rachel to answer her like that. If her eyes weren't fooling her, Quinn was sure she's seeing the _old _Rachel Berry: the version of Rachel Berry she knew so much about.

"I was thinking about our talk last night," Rachel continued again when Quinn didn't say something.

Indeed, this is Rachel. She continued to talk even if no one would respond.

But finally, Quinn went back to Earth. "This isn't a discussion, Rachel."

_Isolation._

"Will you stop telling me what to do, Quinn?"

Quinn's attention snapped instantly at Rachel with what she just said. Rachel said it with so much emotion but it wasn't offensive or annoying. It was simply how _high school_, bossy and determined Rachel Berry would say things.

The diva met her eyes and there, Quinn saw it.

_Welcome back, Rachel Berry._

"Quinn, I'm part of this pseudo-relationship as much as you are. You don't make the calls by yourself; don't you think I get to say something, too?"

The words were caught in Quinn's throat.

When Rachel was so determined about something, like taking that solo or winning Nationals or being Quinn's campaign manager for Prom Queen, she has this certain kind of look in her eyes that says she would get it no matter what. This kind of look in her eyes always chokes Quinn because it's so real.

"Rachel, we talked about this."

"No."

Nobody does conviction like Rachel Berry.

"You talked, I cried."

They looked into each other's eyes and for the first time, Quinn lost the battle. She looked away because she couldn't handle Rachel's fervor anymore.

"It's not over between us, Quinn," Rachel said under her breath. She didn't know where her confidence is coming from but she only knew one thing: _she's back._

That talk with Judy reminded her of who she really is and what she's capable to do when she wanted something so bad.

The truth is, she lost herself when she lost Quinn.

Truth is, both of them lost themselves when they lost each other.

Truth is, Rachel realized it but unlike Quinn, she isn't ignoring it. Of course, Rachel Berry won't ever ignore an opportunity.

"Rach, you have to stop."

"No. I won't."

Tears threatened Rachel's eyes. Quinn was begging her to stop. Quinn was telling her to let her go. But yet again, she refused to give in to the initial shock.

"I get to decide now, Quinn. So, please just stop telling me what to do because you know very well, I don't take orders. I make them."

"This is not the time to bring on that attitude."

Rachel chuckled, "Actually, I think this is what I should've done a long time ago. Every decision you've made for us only got us stuck, Quinn. Not that I am blaming you but you obviously don't make the best decisions for us. And I am saying 'us' because this is how I want to put it. Don't go telling me that there's no 'us'."

Quinn looked at Rachel in disbelief, "Now, you're turning this on me."

"I'm not. I'm just telling what I know about this. You decided what to do after graduation, you decided to come to New York, you decided to make it as a surprise and then you decided to give up on me."

Again, Quinn just looked at her, in disbelief.

"I am not blaming you, Quinn but maybe it's about time that Rachel Berry gets her call in this whole not relationship thing." Rachel met Quinn's eyes, "I love you and don't worry because you don't have to answer. It's not even a question."

Quinn looked away as she sighed, "Rachel, you don't know what you've signed up for."

"You told me you're done hearing how scared I was. Well, here's the thing, Quinn. I'm not scared anymore. You're the one who's a coward here."

The blonde sighed in frustration.

"Do I frustrate you?" Rachel asked in a very-Rachel Berry kind of tone.

Quinn didn't answer. To say the least, she wasn't sure how she felt about seeing Rachel like this.

Rachel continued, "You told me that at one point, you chose to believe in the Rachel Berry you fell in love with. I'm choosing to believe in that Rachel Berry, too. To tell you, it's the same Rachel Berry who always believed in _you_, Quinn."

_Always._

"The Quinn who didn't follow me out when I stormed out because you always knew I will come back to get my victory back over Mercedes who always wanted to kill me for solos. The Quinn who believed I could pull off a good performance despite coming from an entire week of sore throat. And the Quinn who promised me that I will never have to take care of myself alone anymore."

"She's gone, Rach."

"No. The fact that you're here and you haven't yelled at me or called me names or bring on that HBIC attitude you do so well, it's a sign enough for me to know that the Quinn who took a chance with me four years ago is still there."

"I always hated putting on that attitude around you," Quinn said as she hopelessly smiled.

"Because you know it never works on me."

Quinn nodded. "Can we ever go back to being friends, Rach?"

"No," said Rachel with all the guts she had. She didn't know the repercussions of what she was about to say but she has to tell Quinn the truth. "I can't be friends with you."

The blonde just looked at her with an amused expression. Frankly, Quinn didn't expect the bluntness of the Rachel in front of her. Part of her wanted to smile because she missed this side of the diva but to be really honest, it scared her.

When Quinn didn't respond, Rachel spoke again. "I'm done being in shades of gray with you, Quinn. You don't want to hold me but you aren't letting me go completely. You're holding on to me by playing the publicist and friend card."

"I want you in my life."

"So, do I. But I don't want to have you just for the sake of having you around. It's all or nothing."

"You do realize you're risking it again?"

"I know and it scares me. That's why I can't be friends with you because if there's anything about us that I have learned, we have to stay true to each other to survive. Friends, good friends, don't have romantic feelings for each other. I have romantic feelings for you, Quinn. I can't be _just friends _with you."

Again, Quinn Fabray found herself speechless.

"I'm taking this risk because I failed to do that in the past. Wherever this leads, at least I get to say that I risked it all before giving up."

Quinn smirked, "Now, it's on me."

"No. You have to stop thinking like that, Quinn. Like one of us has to make the decision for _us_. It takes two to tango."

"Someone always has to dictate the pace."

"True that. That's why you have a choice to make, whether to go with it or go against it. Right now, I'm dictating the pace and no matter how much HBIC Quinn Fabray hates that, I can't let the weaker link do it."

"Weaker, huh?"

"Yes. If I let you dictate this again because of the fear of hurting you all over again, we'd go back to Quinn Fabray's shades of gray."

Quinn sighed. She didn't get the memo of Rachel's sudden turnaround.

"Tomorrow, I will fly back to New York," Rachel said when Quinn didn't respond, again.

The blonde instantly turned to Rachel. "Our flight is on Tuesday, Ms. Berry."

"I rescheduled mine. There are some things I have to do alone."

"You should have told me."

"See, here you are again manipulating me."

"I am your assistant _and _publicist, in case you've forgotten that."

"This is my almost ex-girlfriend talking not the assistant _and _publicist."

Quinn looked at Rachel. _It's official. _Straight-to-the-point Rachel Berry is back. She didn't know how to respond to that.

_How do you respond to that?_

When Quinn didn't answer, Rachel spoke again, "I can always tell the difference Quinn. Sometimes you're all professional and then sometimes, you're just… you. The one who always wanted me for herself."

Rachel laughed as she spoke again, "Looking at it again, you're a terrible actress."

Quinn only shook her head in disbelief.

"I always loved how possessive you were with me."

Rachel was smiling. She always loved when she gets Quinn speechless but moreover, she loved how she felt finally fighting for something; for someone she really wanted.

"What do you want, Rachel?"

"You," Rachel said flat and straight. "I want you."

"Last night, we said goodbye and now you're talking about this."

"_You _said goodbye. I never did."

For probably the nth time that night, Quinn's words went stuck in her throat.

Rachel let out a chuckle as she said, "For the girl who talked a lot last night, you're surprisingly silent right now."

Quinn took a deep breath and released loudly. She's feeling it again. She's losing this debate with Rachel. "Wow, Rachel. You're different."

"I'm not. In fact, I've never felt more like myself in the past five years. I have lost my sense of self when we parted after graduation because maybe, a part of me always stayed with you. This is me. The Rachel Berry you fell in love with. Maybe you think I'm different because you tried so hard to burry this image of me in your subconscious for it reminds you of the pain."

Quinn swallowed. She knew this isn't a discussion anymore.

"Maybe you're right."

"I know I am."

"I said 'maybe'."

Rachel forced a laugh, "Don't you ever get tired of rebutting?"

Both of them stood in silence for a short while taking in every drastic change that had happened; while in silence, they also contemplated about the possible outcomes of these.

"I'm staying this way from now on, Quinn. This is the Rachel Berry you chose to believe in. And I will remind you of her until you fall in love with her again. I will remind you everyday until you fall hard; hard enough to make you take a chance with me again."

While Rachel's heart swelled with pride and love, Quinn didn't know how to feel. Rachel is fighting for her. _Finally._

All of a sudden, Rachel moved behind Quinn and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. The gesture was so hasty that Quinn didn't know how to react. She wanted to run, she wanted to push Rachel away but she wanted this, so bad.

Rachel closed her eyes as she rested her chin on Quinn's shoulder, "This is your favorite hug."

The blonde had no choice but to close her eyes. But as her eyes shut, tears, she didn't even know she had been holding, streamed down her face.

"I'm gonna win you back, Quinn," Rachel whispered. "I don't have much time but I will take anything I can get."

Rachel's eyes were teary but these tears weren't bound to fall. She closed her eyes as she kissed Quinn's cheek.

It was magical. Heck, it wasn't even a kiss on the lips but she felt fireworks. She felt her whole body shiver at what she did but she could tell Quinn felt it too.

_Yes. Quinn felt it too._

"I choose to believe in the Quinn Fabray who came to me that night: the Quinn who took a chance with me despite every possible outcome. I choose to believe in the Quinn Fabray who carried me on her back just because I can't walk. I choose to believe in the Quinn Fabray that brought me breakfast everyday because she was so scared that I would pass out again. And I'm gonna wait until she sees me."

Rachel tightened her hug. She took a deep breath as she said, "I'm so in love with you right now that if you tell me to jump off this terrace, I would jump without even checking if my insurance plan covers suicide."

Quinn had to smile at this.

Rachel broke the contact as she started walking back to the banquet room. But before disappearing, Quinn spoke, "Rachel."

The brunette stopped on her tracks, "Yes?"

"What pushed you to do this?"

Rachel sighed as she answered, "I remembered when I was a kid, I had this pink balloon. I loved it so much but because I focused on other things, I didn't realize I didn't hold on to it that much. Then, I lost it." She paused for a moment to glance at Quinn then continued, "The concept of balloons taught me when to _not _let things go."

That and Rachel walked back inside with a smile on her face. It felt good getting the message across Quinn without breaking down to tears.

This is Rachel Berry getting herself back.

This is Rachel Berry trying to win Quinn back.

She knew it wouldn't be easy but if there's anything she had learned about her life, it wasn't always easy but she'll be fine. She'll be fine just because for the first real time ever, she was fighting for something she can never ever spend a day without.

Call her crazy.

But this is Rachel Berry we're talking about, what do you expect?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Again, I'm terribly sorry for this long chapter. I really needed to squeeze those three important scenes in here.<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: Back to NY, Rachel's plan and… her new publicist?**_


	43. Chapter 43: One Of These Days

**A/N: You people surprise me all the time. Thank you for still keeping up with me and God! You guys have no idea how much your comments have pushed to actually start writing again. I don't know if I already got "it" back but I'm trying. Thank you. I don't know you personally but y'all have helped get through this. Seriously, thank y'all. (And the reason I'm always saying sorry for the long chapters is that when I write long chapters, I feel guilty of taking too much of your time. Hehe. Is that bad?)  
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**And so here's another chapter. Bear with me? Yeah. *winks**

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><p>Rachel spent the three-hour flight from Columbus to New York contemplating about how she was going tell Megan and Charles about her plan.<p>

Of course, she has her mind all made up but when it came to Megan and Charles, she still somehow listens to them especially when it came to huge decisions about her career. And of course, her plans would involve her career.

Charles scheduled a meeting later that afternoon but Rachel was too excited that the moment she landed on JFK, she instantly called Charles and told him to reset the meeting... that morning... the moment Rachel arrives on her apartment.

For a moment, Rachel was thankful for Megan and Charles because they didn't complain. In fact, they even got her breakfast because they knew she was too excited that she wouldn't bother to get herself anything unless she was done breaking the news down.

But, Megan and Charles came with two gestures; one was her favorite vegan breakfast from one of the high-end cafes on the Upper East Side and two; they came with Carla Henry – Rachel's new assistant and publicist.

She was sure she was the one who had some news but Charles definitely had other plans. Carla was slim, blonde and beautiful. She was a typical New Yorker working for a big time PR firm. She kinda looked like Brittany possessed by the spirit of Quinn and Ms. Pillsbury.

Meeting Carla, Rachel was in equal parts pressured and jealous. Pressured because she just landed in New York and yet, the first thing that greeted her was the realization that indeed, Quinn was making a move. She was running out of time hence, she knew that her plan was necessary. Then, she also felt a pang of jealousy because Charles told her that Carla and Quinn are close pals.

Carla and Quinn had been in the same firm in LA for six months after graduation. They had met way back junior college during their internship in one of LA's biggest PR firms.

Rachel was jealous because it happens all the time – she feels jealous about whoever Quinn had spend the last five years with because she wasn't in the blonde's life during that period of time. She would never admit but sometimes, she feels a lot jealous of Santana because she was there with Quinn when the blonde needed someone.

Not to mention that Carla was easy on the eyes. Everytime she looked at Carla, she can only notice how beautiful the girl was. Unlike Phoebe who was almost her carbon copy, Carla was her complete opposite. She wanted to strangle herself for thinking that Quinn might have been attracted to her because well, they met when Quinn was lonely and Carla was beautiful. And no, she didn't need another competition at that moment.

All her jealousy was put to rest when Charles discussed that Quinn would still be around for the next two weeks to guide Carla out. Rachel felt relieved because at least, she still had time.

"You're what?" Megan asked, in shock.

Rachel sat by the sofa acting all innocent and oblivious to the fact that Charles, Megan and Carla's jaws dropped at the news she sprang on them.

She had told them about the plan and she had to ignore their funny, yet scary reactions.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you're gay?" Charles asked, somewhat calmly.

Rachel nodded calmly as if it was the only truth in the world but her heart pounded against her chest. To be honest, she wasn't even sure. Megan opened her mouth to say something but for lack of right words to say, she shut them again and just looked at Rachel.

Rachel turned to Carla and saw her bite her bottom lip in concentration. She was probably thinking of resigning right away. Then, Rachel looked at Charles and saw him... smirking.

The bald man, who was in his signature black leather jacket, crossed his legs and stared at Rachel as he sipped from his cup of takeout coffee. The smirk hasn't left his lips, so Rachel had to ask.

"Why are you smirking like that?"

"No reason."

"Charles."

Charles just shrugged, "What was your plan again?"

"Come out."

For the second time that morning, Megan's eyes couldn't have grown any wider; Carla's face drew confusion and Charles looked as if he was about to burst into laughter.

This was her plan.

Seriously.

That was it.

And the whole of it goes like this:

She wanted to come out on Ellen and tell the world how in love she is with the woman who tormented her in high school and that they fell in love in senior year. She even told Charles, Megan and Carla that after the Ellen interview, Quinn would standing outside the studio waiting for her and everything will be right in the world.

It was kinda funny when you say it but Rachel was serious about coming out. She knew this is one of the few steps she had to take. She knew Quinn would feel threatened of Rachel choosing her career and this is one of Rachel's ways of telling her that she doesn't care about her career... well, not that much anymore.

"Just so it's settled," Carla asked and Rachel turned to her, "Are you sure you're... gay?"

Rachel looked at her in confusion before going back to all-business mode, "I'm sorry to put you through this on your first day of work but yes, I'm sure I'm gay. Why would you have a doubt about me being gay?"

"Because it might be phase."

Rachel chuckled, "Carla, I'm almost 24. It's not puberty stage."

Carla rolled her eyes in a Quinn Fabray fashion and smirked, "My brother realized he was gay after he had sex with his ex-wife when he was 29."

All three of them looked at her and Carla just shrugged.

Rachel swallowed.

Charles looked at Carla and nodded before he turned to Rachel and said, "Rachel, if you do this, you can never take it back."

"I'm not planning on taking it back!" Rachel yelled as she stood and looked at them furiously. "Will you just stop stopping me?"

"Nobody's stopping you," Carla said.

Rachel didn't know but her attitude might have actually found its match – well, other than Quinn.

"Two things, Rach," Charles said as he looked straight into Rachel's eyes. "First, I'm Charles, your third dad speaking here. Are you sure about this? Because this is a huge shift in your life and Quinn's," he discussed.

"And the second thing," Carla interrupted as if reading Charles' mind, "I'm Carla, speaking as your publicist here. You can't tell the world you're gay if you're not."

"Have you actually thought about this?"

Rachel looked at Charles, then at Carla and if she didn't know better, she would be sure that Carla is Charles daughter; their combination scared her.

"Yes! I spent almost an entire hour standing on a terrace in front of a meaningless golf course just thinking about this. So, please, will you just let me do this?"

"Like what Carla said, nobody's stopping you."

"You're not worried about how it will affect my career?"

Charles only shook his head.

"Wow. Just wow," Rachel managed.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, does she know?" Carla asked with a straight face.

Rachel shook her head as she looked at Carla.

"She doesn't know you're about to come out and tell the world you're gay for her?" Charles asked sounding interested as ever.

"I wanted to surprise her."

"And expect that she'd come running to you crying and then she'll propose to you and you both will live happily ever after?" Carla asked sarcastically. "I'm sorry but you do realize that when you come out, you're outing her as well, right?"

Suddenly, Carla made sense to Rachel now.

"Look, I'm trying to win my lady back here."

Carla and Charles smiled similar smiles and both shook their heads. _Now, Rachel was sure their related._

"I have a proposal," Carla said as she smiled.

Rachel didn't want her plans to change but given everything that Carla had shown her by far, giving her a chance might just be fair. "I'm listening," Rachel said.

Carla nodded before turning to Charles as if asking for permission. The guy just nodded at her and then she continued, "I say, let's play it safe."

Before Rachel could protest, Carla held up a hand to stop her from talking. "We'll play it safe because from what I've seen so far, you're not sure if you're gay or if you just love her or something."

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does," Carla said as she stood and moved beside Rachel.

"If there's anything I have learned from Quinn, it is never lie to the media. We have to play it safe for you and _your lady_," she said smiling endearingly. "Until you are sure you'll end up together, we can't reveal who the girl is for _her _sake. People are _not _gonna judge you, Ms. Berry."

For a second, she sounded so much like Quinn there.

"People are gonna look at _her_," Carla said slowly and carefully.

"Thank God for Carla Henry," Megan said, _finally._

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked now incredibly interested to what her _newly hired _publicist has to say. Clearly, Quinn Fabray won't recommend her for nothing.

"When it comes to you, we're pretty certain that Broadway won't care. Hell, New York won't even care. The theater won't care who you date. But a few people might," Carla discussed patiently not just to Rachel but to Charles and Megan as well.

"I don't care about those few people. I care about Quinn."

"If you really care about her, then I say you must care about what those _few _people might say –"

"I don't care what they say about me –"

"About her."

Then, it hit Rachel.

She had mapped out the pros and cons of her plans and all it ever involved were the effects to her career. She was the _star _after all.

"Ms. Berry, they're gonna say mean things about her, no matter what your relationship is with her as of the moment."

"Mean things like?"

"Gold digger, user, harlot," Carla enumerated effortlessly. "Oh, Lord. She's gonna be Broadway's Kevin Federline."

"Quinn can handle that."

"Yes, she most definitely can. But the current status of your relationship with her can't."

Again, it hit her.

Carla was right.

"You can out your relationship with her if an actual relationship already exists."

"Where have you been all my life, Henry?" Charles said as he smiled.

"But… my plan…"

"Oh, it's still on," Carla said tapping Rachel's shoulder. "If you are really into it, no one can stop you, right?"

"How did you know? It's only your first day."

"_Your lady _had been calling me non-stop since yesterday, reminding me about your attitude."

This caused a smile from Rachel. "Where have you been all my life, Carla?"

"Somewhere, contemplating about how effective print media is when it comes to hard-hitting issues," Carla said as she browsed for something on her iPad.

Rachel got what Carla was trying to say, "Are you saying…"

"Ellen came out on Time and Lance Bass on People," Carla said as she lifted her iPad and showed Rachel the covers of the magazines when Ellen and Lance came out. "I have contacts to both magazines. Just tell me what magazine you want to have you featured."

"I would have really loved to come out on Ellen."

"Forget TV. We'll get there soon," Carla said as she smiled. "If we choose print, we'd be able to control the amount of information we'll tell the public. It's win-win. I don't think Quinn would want her love life to be exposed on National TV."

Rachel would never admit this but she's starting to like Carla.

"Besides, magazines make it more classy and artistic. Aside from the fact that we don't have to prepare ourselves from impromptu question that a host might ask, we can choose what and what not to say."

When Carla saw Rachel frown a little, she patted Rachel's back and smiled, "Your plan is still on, Ms. Berry. We're just doing it the other way around because the original plan is kinda flawed if not messed up. You can still prove to her that your career is not everything to you."

Rachel looked at her.

"If you're really trying to win _your lady _back, it's just the start. It's not the only step you'll ever take."

"What am I going to say?"

"Anything you want to like how much you love her or anything just not two things: your lady's name and the 'I'm gay' statement."

"What if I'm really gay?"

Carla smiled, "Then, say it but only say it once you're really sure you are _gay_. Give the gay community a break, Ms. Berry. They're put into so much pressure in the society. They don't need Rachel Berry trolling about her sexuality."

"How about you just come out on Twitter?"

"Charles!" both Rachel and Carla snapped at him.

He chuckled, "Just saying. It'll save us more money."

Rachel laughed at his silliness.

"Seriously, Rachel, congratulations," Charles said.

"For what?"

"For finally coming to your senses."

Rachel only looked at him in confusion.

"When I asked Brittany about how to control your behavior, she named only one person," Charles revealed.

Rachel's eyes grew wide, "What?"

Charles shrugged, "Don't get me wrong. I really hired her because she was good. But while I was looking for a publicist, I was also looking for an old friend of yours who can try and bring you back to your old self. So, I asked Brittany and she told me about Quinn. Apparently, she was a package."

"I can't believe it."

"Better believe it. Someone actually played cupid behind your back."

Rachel looked at Carla trying to examine her.

"Don't look at me. Quinn recommended me but I'm Team Berry."

The diva smiled and nodded, pleased of Carla's behavior. "You better be. I'm your boss."

Charles chuckled, "I bet you never got to play the boss card on you lady."

"Gah!" Rachel said as she threw herself on the couch. "Never. The roles were reversed. I was so…"

"Whipped," Charles and Carla simultaneously said as all of them laughed together at the thought.

o-o-o-o-o

After that talk with Charles, Megan and Carla, Rachel spent the rest of the day just lying on her bed. She had opted to call Quinn who was still in Lima and wasn't coming back to the city until tomorrow but she knew that Quinn was probably spending some time with her mom so she just settled on, again, thinking things over.

She hated that someone, again, was able to stop her from going all the way. She knew that coming out on National TV was something Quinn would never approve of but Rachel was desperate. Many times she told herself to slow down but the four days she spent with Quinn back in Lima made her realize how much time she had lost.

Five years of being away from and Quinn meant five years of not being able to tell her how she loved her. Five years apart meant five unhappy years. Five years of being alone meant five long years of constantly fooling herself that she was happy with her career.

She spent the whole day distracting herself reading her Lilibeth script to be able to refresh her mind about how her Broadway career was still there, waiting for her. She'll resume rehearsing in two days and she needed to get her act together despite knowing that by the end of the week, she'll be having the most career-stirring interview of her life.

It wasn't until that night, when she was getting ready for sleep, that Brittany texted her about something that made her smile.

_**About to board a plane to LAX now. Watcha doin?**_

She replied: _**Getting ready for bed now. Have a safe trip and have a great honeymoon. Don't forget to tease Santana for me.**_

_**She's so sure that the cave tour was your idea.**_

Santana and Brittany's honeymoon were set in South Australia, somewhere in Coober Pedy. From Dayton, they were bound to transfer flights in LAX then, to Australia. Quinn had booked everything for them including the special accommodation at the Desert Cave Hotel – the world's only 4-star underground hotel.

_**Ha! I knew she'd blame me but it was Quinn's.**_

_**Speaking of Quinn, is she back in the city?**_

_**Nope. Not until tomorrow. You haven't talked to her?**_

_**Nah. She'd been MIA. I heard she and mommy Judy went to visit Frannie. Miss her already?**_

Rachel smiled at this.

_**Yeah.**_

_**You gonna pick her up tomorrow?**_

It only hit her after she read the message. For sure, no one was there to pick the blonde up because obviously Santana was in honeymoon mode.

_**Now that you've mentioned it...**_

_**Wat? U don't have plans of picking her up? Sumtyms, I wish you had a chivalrous bone in ur body.**_

She knew it wasn't Brittany anymore even though it was her number.

_**Thank you, Santana. I know it's you. And by the way, I just decided I'll be picking her up. Thanks for the tip, Brit.**_

_**This is Brit now. Bring your H2.**_

_**Why?**_

_**Just trust me, okay?**_

_**Okay.**_

_**Hope u don't crash it.**_

_**Thank you, again, Santana.**_

A few minutes passed and there was no reply. She was thankful for the short exchange though because at least she got herself something to do tomorrow; and seriously, she just wanted to do something for Quinn.

But she had one more question in mind.

_**San...**_

_**Go ask.**_

_**I was wondering what flowers to bring.**_

_**Imma go puke right now.**_

_**Lopez!**_

_**Don't bring any.**_

_**Santana!**_

_**Seriously.**_

_**Why?**_

_**Who wants to smell nectar after a 3 hour flight? Have u heard about jet lag?**_

_**It's only three hours.**_

_**It's Quinn Fabray. She's the girl who chooses 2 sleep during a flight bcos of travel sickness, remember? She slept for 45 minutes on ur shoulder. Duh.**_

Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled. Before she even managed a reply, her phone buzzed again.

_**I can almost feel ur eyes rolling from here and we r on Dayton, mind u.**_

_**Thanks, San.**_

_**It's Brit now. We g2g. Plane's leaving in 30. See you in a week!**_

_**Thanks to you Mrs. Lopezes.**_

Coming out can wait. She had little deeds to do.

o-o-o-o-o

The next day, Rachel found herself driving to JFK.

She was kind of terrified, to say the least, because she always loathed driving; one, it scared her and two, it's New York – no matter how careful you are as a driver, your fate is always in the hands of those reckless cab drivers.

But then, she rocked the freaking Hummer.

It was only fourth time she drove it since having it but she felt relieved because, hello, she was picking up _her lady_ using her gorgeous and shiny H2. If it was anything, it was plus points.

_Did she just think about impressing Quinn with her car?_

Now she was halfway sure she was gay.

To be sure of the time of Quinn's arrival, she called Judy two hours ago who, surprisingly, was too happy to hear that she was picking Quinn up. When she called Judy, she was still in the airport and it seemed as if Quinn just boarded the plane.

As Judy discussed the details of Quinn's arrival, Rachel could hear her fathers in the background chanting a weird "Go, get the girl, Rachel!" cheer. Apparently, her dads also came to take Quinn to the airport.

So she sat there in the waiting area 20 minutes before the expected arrival of the plane that carried Quinn. Alas, full 25 minutes passed and Quinn's flight number was announced to be landing in a few minutes. The brunette took this as her cue to rush inside the nearest Starbucks station and grabbed Quinn's favorite Caffe Americano and a cup of Green Tea for herself – to not make it _really _obvious.

As she walked back the waiting area, her eyes caught sight of someone she didn't expect seeing there.

Phoebe was standing halfway across the room with a bouquet of blue Tulips at hand as she looked over the place where people were coming from.

_She's here for Quinn._

Rachel thought if Quinn knew Phoebe was coming or if they talked about Phoebe picking her up but that only lasted for a fraction of second because the next thing Rachel knew, she was headed toward the same area.

Too bad Santana wasn't here to stand up for her so, Rachel knew she had to bring her game a level higher.

Her hands were shaking because she was nervous.

She was nervous that Quinn would choose to come with Phoebe and not her.

When her eyes met Phoebe's, Rachel knew in an instant that the game was on.

_It's so on._

After a few intense minutes of waiting for Quinn, both Phoebe and Rachel saw her walking toward their direction.

As Quinn made her way out carrying her two bags, she instantly saw Rachel beaming at her with that mega-watt smile. It warmed Quinn's heart to see her there because she didn't really expect Rachel to pick her up or anyone for that matter.

She smiled at Rachel because she just landed back and New York and Rachel didn't waste any time proving her that she was here to win the blonde back. But then, her eyes caught someone trying to get... her attention. She squinted to recognize who was waving at her. It was kinda funny because when it came to Rachel, she didn't need to take a second look and try to process who she was – _Quinn could instantly tell it was Rachel even from afar_.

As she recognized the other person looking at her, she freaked out on the insides. She suddenly felt the urge to pretend as if she didn't see any of them.

It was Phoebe.

She forced a smile to acknowledge the girl but Quinn's inside were stirring. She forced herself to walk slower so she would have time to process the choice that was laid out in front of her.

_Wow._

_ Is this a choice?_

Both of them just arrived to pick her up without any notice and they expect her to choose?

To be honest, she was happy to see Rachel making an effort. Before she saw Phoebe waving at her, she actually thought of inviting Rachel for lunch to thank her enough for picking her up and bringing her that drink in her hand (she already assumed it was for her, of course). She badly needed something hot to drink because she's having some bad case of jet lag.

But then, she saw Phoebe waiting for her as well.

She knew she promised Phoebe a couple dates but little did she expect Phoebe to do this. Something swirled in her stomach upon thinking that these two girls were there for her. It was synonymous to choosing one person because by the looks of it, they weren't in this together. They can't be picking up Quinn together because they both want something from Quinn other that friendship.

_They're competitions._

They're both waiting for Quinn to give them a chance to be part of her life. One of them wanted a second chance while the other just wanted a single chance.

Quinn didn't know but somehow, she felt like she didn't deserve any of this.

There were two people waiting for her: one with blue tulips at hand and another with a cup of Caffe Amricano. They both offered different things: one offered just pure love, affection, and attention while the other offered the world. Both of them told different stories: one was introducing a brand new volume while the other was hoping for a sequel.

If you ask Quinn, there wasn't really a question or a choice or confusion regarding the answer. There's only one person she would choose yet she was too scared to try choosing that person again. Moreover, the one holding the flowers was too good to her. She was too good that Quinn thought she deserved at least a chance and hurting her was something she didn't really want to do.

Yet, a choice needed to be made.

"Hi, Quinn," Rachel greeted the moment she got close to both of them.

She forced a smile to acknowledge both of them. For a moment, it felt funny to have two people waiting for her.

_Welcome back to the City of Love._

"How was the trip?" Rachel asked as she handed her the cup.

Quinn knew there was something in Rachel's voice that was sharp and determined. This is Rachel Berry when she's facing the competition.

"It was fine. Tiring but fine," Quinn said in a low voice. She was contemplating what to say to Phoebe who was holding a bouquet of flowers. Honestly, she didn't want any flowers at the moment.

"I know that's why I bought you that," Rachel said talking about the cup of coffee. "It's your favorite, Caffe Americano, without sugar," she added smilingly.

Rachel was feeling victorious. She could see the hesitance in Quinn's eyes but she was okay with it because so far… she was winning.

"Thanks," Quinn said smilingly, totally appreciating the gesture.

Berry – 1, Bennett – 0

"Hey, Quinn," Phoebe said now making her presence felt.

"Hey," Quinn greeted.

Something in the air shifted.

"I didn't know two were here," the blonde said trying to make it a little casual.

"I wanted to surprise you," both Phoebe and Rachel said at the same time.

_Oh. _Quinn mouthed. It was so awkward that Quinn didn't have the guts to even make a sound.

Rachel looked at Phoebe and Phoebe at Rachel. Again, _it is so on._

"I brought you flowers," Phoebe said tearing her eyes from Rachel as she smiled at Quinn.

Quinn wanted to take the bouquet but she was struggling with her bags and the cup of coffee she was holding so she just smiled and tried to do something with the things she was holding.

Phoebe seemed to notice it and before Rachel could act on it, Phoebe took Quinn's bags and handed her the flowers.

"Easy there, lady," Phoebe said as she smiled.

Rachel didn't like any single bit of it.

_Lady! Lady? I am the only one who can call her that._

Berry – 1, Bennett – 1

As they walked towards the exit of the airport, silence embraced them. It was too awkward that halfway out the airport, Quinn sighed and the two other girls recognized it.

Rachel felt guilty because of putting Quinn into this but it wasn't her fault. She just wanted to do something for her but she wasn't aware that Phoebe had the same thing planned.

"How was Frannie?" Rachel asked.

This seemed to lighten up the mood, "She was great and she's happy. Her family is doing great in Springfield."

"That's good to hear. How are your nieces?" Phoebe asked keeping up with Rachel's pace of the game.

"Carson and Kayla are cute little kids. Carson looks like me," Quinn replied. "By the way, Rachel, Frannie was hoping to see you for Hanukkah," Quinn said before she could even stop herself.

She regretted saying it in front of Phoebe because she knew it would make her feel out of place. Frannie and Rachel met some time in senior year when Frannie visited Lima. She was pregnant with Carson back then and to Quinn's surprise, her somewhat picky sister shared common ground with Rachel.

Rachel had that smile on her face. Of course, her history with Quinn will always come in handy especially when it came to her family – she was just thankful that _history _was positive this time.

"Really? I would love to see Carson because I teased Frannie when I sang in your house in senior year. I said that Carson will look like me," Rachel and Quinn shared a laugh.

"Yeah, Frannie had to print huge pictures of me when I was still a baby just so she can stop that from happening."

The two former _sweethearts _just laughed almost forgetting that there was one other person walking with them – carrying Quinn's bags.

Rachel felt happy, genuinely and not just because she was totally winning Quinn's attention. She loved Quinn's family and she was happy to know that despite it all, they still want her to be part of their Hanukkah celebration. Judy and Quinn were Catholics but Frannie converted to Judaism when she married her Jewish boyfriend.

"Frannie wanted to see you because she wants to blame you," Quinn said laughingly.

Even though a little taken aback by the word "blame", Rachel asked, "Why?"

"Carson is into singing. When the kid figured I was working for you, she began watching videos of your performances in YouTube and cute little Carson wants to be the next Rachel Berry," Quinn discussed laughingly.

Rachel laughed at this. "Ha! I bet Frannie believes I casted a spell on her when she was pregnant. I knew that kid's gonna get something from me. I sang to her for a month!"

Again, the old friends just settled for comfortable laughter.

It was until they made it out of the airport that the awkward air came back.

_The score was still tied, remember?_

"Come on, Quinn. I'll take you home now," Phoebe said still in game-on mode. _This girl doesn't know when to back down. _"Cab is waiting."

Quinn looked and smiled at Phoebe. Indeed, Phoebe came prepared.

But for Rachel, thanks to Brittany Pierce-Lopez.

"I brought my car," Rachel said a little proudly. "Let's get you home now, Q."

_This is crazy._

For half a minute, they were silent: Rachel and Phoebe waited for Quinn to make a choice while the blonde was left inside her head contemplating.

Rachel felt guilty, again, for putting Quinn through this. She was almost ready to lose to Phoebe but Brittany's voice echoed inside her brain.

_If you know what it's like to love someone so much that you can't picture a life without them, don't let them go._

The diva looked at Quinn, who looked… confused.

It somehow hurt that Quinn had to be confused for this. If she was really the only choice for the blonde, it wouldn't be hard for her to just choose to come with her. She would've been the easy choice.

Quinn, on the other hand, took a deep breath. Her mind was all made up. If she would just be honest, it wasn't even a competition.

_It would always be Rachel._

But how does she say no to Phoebe who came and picked her up with all the good intentions (even though she just made the wrong decision with the flowers). The issue right there and then was how to turn Phoebe down.

It's not anymore a choice because _it will always be Rachel._

Or maybe because again, she was just scared.

Rachel was right about what she said the other night; she was the coward in this whole situation.

She was about to tell Rachel to go and she'll just meet her for lunch. She was about to come with Phoebe because Phoebe was the easier choice. She was the safe bet and maybe, she trusted Rachel that much to know that the diva would be hurt but Rachel would still be true to her words.

Maybe, deep inside her, she believed that Rachel would wait until she was ready to choose her again.

She was about to turn Rachel down and settle for the safer choice when Brittany's voice echoed inside her head.

_Remember that the world is huge and if you let that one person go, you'd have to search the whole world again._

Quinn Fabray knew that she had waited all her life for that one single chance to be Rachel.

And that one chance is here, presenting itself to her.

She knew she couldn't let it pass anymore because again, Brittany was right; _sometimes, second chance is the last chance_.

Her hands were trembling.

What if she gives Rachel a chance to prove herself the diva screws it up all over again? She didn't want to be hurt and devastated for the same fault line. She didn't want to be that hopeless romantic girl who came to New York unafraid of what the future brings for her as long as she had Rachel beside her.

She didn't want to be that same old girl who returned to LA with the reality that fairy tales don't happen in real life.

But Rachel believed in her.

She always believed in that Quinn Fabray who didn't care about the world.

Maybe, it was time for Quinn to trust herself again.

If she chooses Rachel this time, it would mean the re-opening the door that Rachel had been knocking on to. Choosing Rachel this time would mean the re-counting of the countless scars that loving Rachel had caused her.

But she can't run away anymore because Quinn Fabray wasn't stupid. Yes, she was heartless sometimes, she was bitch once and will always be hard but Quinn Fabray wasn't that stupid to ignore the truth over and over.

_It's Rachel and it will always be Rachel._

Quinn clenched her fists in order to stay alive because her heart was threatening to jump out its place.

_Then, she made a choice._

If this is the Rachel Berry she chose to believe in a few years back, to tell you honestly, she was thrilled to see what she has in store for her.

Quinn looked at Phoebe and smiled sadly. It broke Quinn's heart to tell Phoebe that she's choosing Rachel but she had to make this choice because Rachel's fathers were right; she has to give herself a chance to be happy.

When their eyes met, Quinn could swear she saw tears form in Phoebe's eyes. Phoebe bit her lip as she sighed and nodded realizing what Quinn was trying to say.

Phoebe knew, everybody knew, it will always be Rachel.

"Call me, when you get home," Phoebe said under her breath.

Even Rachel was surprised.

Berry – 2, Bennett – 1

She didn't expect Phoebe to retreat and for the first time, winning didn't feel all that good but _she will take anything she can get _to win Quinn back.

Phoebe sighed as she handed the bags to Rachel. As Rachel took the bags, she looked at her in the eyes and the diva instantly knew what Phoebe was trying to say.

"I'll drive safely," Rachel said acknowledging Phoebe's concern for Quinn.

"Take care of her," Phoebe said weakly.

Rachel nodded. Nobody had to tell her.

Phoebe just smiled and in a couple of seconds, she walked towards a cab waiting just a few meters away and then she was gone.

Quinn turned to Rachel and smiled.

"Shall we?" Rachel asked.

Rachel felt like she was about to fly. Damn. Quinn's bags were heavy. Under normal circumstances, she'd be complaining but Quinn made her feel invincible.

Quinn just nodded as she _unconsciously _snaked her arm around Rachel's. They silently walked towards where Rachel's car was parked.

They were silent because both of them embraced the possibilities that this event would make in terms of their _relationship._

As they reached the H2 parked in the huge lot of JFK, Quinn asked, "You sure you're gonna drive?"

Rachel smirked as she looked at Quinn. She then settled Quinn's bags in the backseat then moved to open the door for Quinn to get settled in the passenger seat, "Watch me."

Quinn smilingly shook her head as she smiled and boarded the Hummer.

As Rachel got on the driver's seat and started the engine, Quinn asked again, "Should I call my mom and say goodbye? I might get killed any minute now."

Rachel chuckled as she started driving out of the lot, "No." Then, she looked tentatively at Quinn and smiled, "I need you to live because you still need to give me another chance."

Both of them turned to the road, smilingly.

Rachel thought that Quinn just let that one go but then Quinn said, "I just gave you that chance."

If she wasn't driving, Rachel could've jumped out of the car and screamed for joy. Of course, it wasn't a confirmation that would be together again but at least, Quinn was giving her _that _chance.

She knew _her plan _needed to work.

"Tell me more about Frannie," Rachel said trying hard to control her emotions. "How about lunch?"

If it was possible, Rachel's heart beat faster.

It wasn't a date but that was still a proposal to be alone with Quinn. It wasn't one of those many professional lunches they spent together. It was a lunch after that life-changing confrontation in Lima and it was a lunch after she declared she was going to do everything to win Quinn back.

It was only one lunch, yet for Rachel it would be the first lunch they'd be having with the common understanding that Rachel wants her back, _bad._

"Sounds good," Quinn said smilingly.

"What do you want for lunch?"

"Surprise me."

Rachel flushed her mega-watt smile. Alas! She could show-off her cooking skills.

"Lunch at my place? I've been practicing cooking this meal for a long time now. Maybe it's about time to tell someone about it."

Quinn chuckled, "Whatever. You're dictating the pace, right?

Rachel held on to the steering wheel even tighter. She was so happy that she needed to grip on something to confirm that she was still alive.

_Instead of going against the pace she was dictating, what Quinn just said confirmed that the blonde was willing to go with it._

More, more reason to make her plan work.

_I'm going to win Quinn back. In the name of Barbra Streisand, one of these days, Quinn won't be afraid of being with me._

Timely, when Quinn turned the music on from Rachel's iPod, Michelle Branch came singing in that caused both girls to smile despite the sadness of the song.

_One of these days, I won't be afraid of staying with you. I hope and I pray… waiting to find a way back to you 'cause that's where I'm home._

As Rachel drove back to the city, Quinn sat silently humming to the array of songs from Rachel's iPod. They shared a few comments about traffic, Quinn occasionally teased Rachel about her driving, they had comfortable laughs; and Quinn knew that this was the start of something new out of something old. And as she briefly stared at Rachel who she knew was trying hard not sing along with Barbra, she remembered how she felt when she saw Rachel embrace Lilibeth on that stage.

She remembered the feeling being part of the 1,800 people who all clapped and adored her. She remembered that feeling vividly and by sitting there on the passenger seat of Rachel's car, she realized the difference between being just one of them and being _just the only one_.

She tried to weigh which she liked more. She tried to weigh which felt better. She tried to weigh which was easier but Quinn felt sinking back to that girl she was a few years ago – the girl who didn't care if it was hard, the girl who didn't care if she was loving too much; the girl who didn't care and think about getting hurt because she had Rachel.

Quinn felt sinking back into that person who once believed that _love was enough_.

She was starting to believe Rachel again.

She didn't know if she liked it but she was savoring every second of it just in case she had to wake up and figure out it was just a dream.

Her mind told her to stop sinking back too many times but her heart argued.

She wasn't sure how long it will take for her to completely trust Rachel, again. She wasn't sure if this Rachel was for real. Honestly, something told her that something big was yet to happen but Quinn chose to live that moment.

Quinn Fabray was smart. Quinn Fabray had a way with her emotions. Quinn Fabray was a logical person but sitting across Rachel inside that shiny, _impressive _Hummer – she admitted that when it comes to one Rachel Berry, _Quinn Fabray's heart always won_.

_Always._

* * *

><p><em><strong>The song I referred to was "One Of These Days" by Michelle Branch. I nearly cried listening to it. <strong>_

_**Next Chapter: Kurt and Santana's alliance forces Jealous!Quinn out. Haha. It's time for our favorite blonde to realize what she's missing.**_

_**And someone had asked me, is this story about to come to its end? Two things (not major spoilers): one, we're only counting the chapters and two, huge life-changing events are yet to come. *winks**_


	44. Chapter 44: Like Old Times

**A/N: Wow. I can't believe it. You guys actually loved the previous chapter. LOL. Seriously, thank you! There were a lot of love for that chapter and many of you got excited for jealous!Quinn. So, thank you for keeping up with me.**

**So here's another chapter. Warnings? One, long chapter and two, Faberry overload (I think?)**

* * *

><p>To say the least, maybe, Quinn Fabray didn't have any idea of what she signed up for – of what good things she had signed up for.<p>

Before heading to Rachel's apartment for their _friendly _lunch, Rachel dropped Quinn to her apartment to let the blonde get her things settled. Quinn also wanted to change her clothes so Rachel's mini-plan favored her. When they pulled up in front of the building, Quinn asked Rachel to come with her but the diva just insisted on waiting for her in the car.

Although Quinn wondered for a moment why Rachel would want to stay in the car, she went off alone anyway.

After quickly changing into a comfortable baby blue dress and a pair of flats, she made her way back to Rachel who was still waiting inside the car. But as she stepped out of the building, a cute little girl – about the age of five or six – approached her and tugged her dress to get her attention.

She turned and smiled to the little girl who handed her a folded white piece of paper. Soon as she took the piece of paper, the kid giggled to herself and then ran off.

From the outside, she turned to Rachel to check if this was her plan. She looked at her through the lamely tinted windows of the H2. The diva looked totally unaware and so Quinn thought that this is just one of her neighbors who played the 'secret admirer' card.

She rolled her eyes and then resumed walking towards the car as she opened the folded piece of paper.

_I love you when you're not watching your steps._

This made her instantly stop on her tracks and a smile instantly drew on her face. Then, she looked back at Rachel and this time, they were looking at each other through the lamely tinted windows of the car. She could see Rachel holding on to the steering wheel with both of her hands and a familiar smile on her face. Quinn stood still and her heart was instantly overwhelmed with feelings she longed for so long.

It was such a simple gesture. It was a simple note. It was nothing compared to everything Rachel had done but Quinn felt she had missed this all her life.

She still can't absorb it but she can't help the smile on her face. She didn't want to show Rachel how touched she was but… with how light she felt at that moment? Oh, well.

Before she started to walk again, she looked back at the note and realized that it wasn't all that was written.

_ Look to the left._

Quinn closed her eyes for a moment not because she didn't want to see but because she was too excited. She felt giddy but tried so hard to keep it inside. She took a deep breath before she opened her eyes.

As she opened them, she looked tentatively at Rachel and saw her still watching her – then, she did what she was told. She looked to her left.

For a few seconds, she saw nothing out of the ordinary. She was about to look back at Rachel but her eyes caught something crossing the narrow street just a few meters away from where she stood.

The little girl who approached her earlier was leading a few lined-up kids – probably the same age as her – all holding balloons of different colors. The kids knew how to act. They were just walking like they were doing nothing special.

And as the kids passed by her, Quinn realized something was written on the balloons. Single letters were written on each balloon that each one of the kids held. It spelled something.

_I_

_L_

_U_

_V_

_U_

_Q_

On the last balloon was a drawing of a 'star'.

Quinn gently laughed at the last one as the kids passed her by – like nothing happened – as if they were just walking and didn't just make Quinn's heart jump out of its place.

If it was possible, Quinn's smile grew bigger and her heart was more overwhelmed.

_How was Rachel able to pull that off in such a short time? Did she plan this all along?_

Truth is, no.

Rachel sat nervously inside her car, holding on to the steering wheel as she watched her _impromptu surprise _unfold in front of her. She nearly died when the kids didn't cross the street on cue earlier but she was contented that at least, _she made Quinn smile._

_ At least, I saw her smile like that, again. This time, I'm the reason behind it._

She chuckled remembering how she got the idea. A few seconds after Quinn went inside the apartment complex, she saw a man selling balloons turn the corner. And then, what she said about the concept of balloons clicked in her mind and just like that; she practically jumped out of the car and made use of every romantic bone she had in her body.

She was planning to complete the 'I LOVE YOU QUINN' thought because she wasn't actually a fan of text speak but God! The Village didn't have that many kids!

She was only able to convince seven kids and she was short of one kid to even complete the 'I LOVE YOU' so she took the time contemplating about the text-speak kind of love declaration. She eventually came up with _I Luv U Q _and the funny star to assure Quinn sure that it was her and not _Phoebe._

Rachel tried so hard to stop herself from laughing when Quinn finally made it back in the car.

The brunette pressed her lips tightly, controlling the smile that was escaping her lips as she looked at Quinn who was slightly blushing. Rachel diverted her eyes back on the road as she started the engine and was relieved to the ends of New York because _that smile _hasn't left her lady's lips.

_This day is epic. And it just began._

Rachel started driving again with that stupid smile on her smile as Quinn sat across her with that similar stupid smile on her face.

None of them said anything for a moment until Rachel had to stop at the second intersection they've passed along Fifth Avenue.

"What was that?" Quinn asked shyly.

Rachel tentatively looked at her as she shrugged, "Those kids are cute. Don't you think?"

Quinn nodded as she looked and met Rachel's eyes for the briefest of seconds, "Yeah, they are."

"Did somebody just tell you they love you?" Rachel asked, acting innocently, as she started driving again when the lights went green.

Quinn chuckled, "I think so, probably someone who has an obsession with stars."

"Oh," Rachel said smilingly.

"I wonder what that person told the kids to make them agree," Quinn said playfully.

It was Rachel's turn to chuckle, "Oh, I don't know but I'm guessing their parents were bribed with VIP tickets to 'Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time'. Meet and greet!"

_Yep. That was how Rachel pulled it off._

o-o-o-o-o

Lunch eventually came and so far, Rachel had pushed all the right buttons.

Rachel had opened the door of the car for Quinn to get off. She also held the elevator open for her to get in. She held the small of Quinn's back in effort to guide her up the steps of the building. She even let Quinn first inside her apartment before stepping in.

As Rachel prepared lunch, Quinn sat by the living room silently reading and browsing through the magazines that was on top of the coffee table. It was weird that Rachel kept so many issues of Time and People – that included Ellen and Lance Bass' coming out issue. After finding nothing so interesting about the issues, she turned the TV on. Surprisingly, it was tuned in to ESPN which was weird in all angles because Rachel never liked sports.

"Was Charles here?" she yelled for Rachel to hear.

The diva popped out of the kitchen entrance with one hand holding a spoon and her other hand on her waist. Quinn couldn't stop herself from smiling at Rachel's adorable state wearing that apron with gold stars.

"Yes. I talked to him yesterday."

Quinn lounged, resting her head on the arm rest at the end of the couch, "About what?"

Rachel smiled mischievously, "It's confidential."

Quinn's eyes grew wide, "Wow. Since when did you hide anything from me… as your publicist, I mean?"

"Since Carla came into my life and became the awesome-est publicist ever," Rachel teased as she walked back inside the kitchen.

Quinn didn't answer. Frankly, she didn't know how to react.

Then, Rachel popped out of the kitchen again and waved the spoon to get her attention, "Kidding. You're still the best ever."

And for the nth time that day, Quinn smiled.

Lunch pushed through and again, for the nth time, Rachel surprised her. Rachel's homemade Texas Caviar was superb and Quinn was sure she hasn't tasted anything quite like it. She was impressed with the main dish but then, when Rachel served her the Spring Strawberry Spinach Salad, Quinn went to heaven. Rachel had made this salad way back in senior year. Back then, it was the only thing Rachel knew how to prepare and it tasted really good. But right now, Quinn felt perfect. It was as if Rachel had practiced preparing the meals all her life.

As they ate together, both of them just felt good and comfortable with each other… _like old times._

It was one lunch yet Quinn felt her life shift back to that one particular direction she tried to avoid for so long.

It was one lunch yet, Quinn felt happy – happy with Rachel.

_Just like old times._

o-o-o-o-o

After taking Quinn back to her apartment that afternoon, she went home feeling happy and accomplished.

Tossing the keys on top of the table, she launched herself to the couch and took her phone out of her pocket. As she read her messages, she saw one that made her day.

_**Thanks for this morning and lunch, Rach. You know what I'm talking about.**_

It was Quinn and yes, she knew what Quinn was talking about. For a moment, Rachel felt like they were in high school again. It actually felt like they were starting over.

It was one text but it felt nice… _just like old times._

_**Anything for you.**_

_**Ha. Don't do this often. I might get used to it.**_

_**No problem. I don't have plans of stopping now.**_

It was true though it sounded cheesy.

_**Really subtle, Rach.**_

_**You know, you're like a dictionary.**_

Rachel laughed as she sent this.

_**?**_

_**Because you give meaning to my life. *winks**_

Sending that, she laughed again. Thank God for Brittany Pierce.

_**Really, Rach? Really?**_

_**Scratch that, Q. To me you're like false teeth.**_

_**You're gross. : )**_

_**Because I can't smile without you.**_

Really, she was getting good at this.

_**I need to take a nap now. Enough with the pickup lines, Rach.**_

_**What pickup lines?**_

_**Yeah, Rach. Nicely played.**_

_**I just have one more question!**_

_**Shoot.**_

_**Where do you want your wedding to happen?**_

_**Isn't it too soon for you to ask?**_

_**Just answer it.**_

A few minutes and there was no reply from Quinn. She was probably thinking about it. Rachel typed a text and sent Quinn another message.

_**I'm gonna go ask again. Where do you want your wedding to happen?**_

_**The Hamptons, maybe.**_

This is it. It's the best she has in her book of pickup lines.

_**I want mine to be next to you.**_

Rachel felt so happy sending that message that her heart pounded against her chest. She was smiling sheepishly and it was because she and Quinn were okay.

Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't _just _a pickup line.

o-o-o-o-o

Although she just finished an awesome non-date with Quinn, Rachel knew she had more tasks to accomplish. In fact, that smile on Quinn's face that morning, the way she praised Rachel's home cooked meal and the way Quinn simply seemed to appreciate everything she had done so far, it all made Rachel want to accomplish more.

The interview was fast approaching and she still didn't have any idea what to say. Her life coach was on a honeymoon and for a moment, Rachel panicked. She didn't have anyone to talk to because the two people who made most sense to her when it came to her feelings for Quinn were Brittany and Santana and they were seas away from her at that moment.

Carla was right. She cannot lie to the media. She cannot tell the world she's gay if she's not even sure if she really is.

It's not like she was making a deal out of it. She just didn't want to complicate things more.

So, she called the one person who could _hopefully _help her.

That call actually led her inside The Coffee Shop in Union Square just a couple of blocks away from Quinn's apartment and less than a 10-minute drive from her place on the East 95th Street. She was silently playing with her veggie salad as Kurt Hummel sat across her staring at her, occasionally sipping from his glass of smoothie.

"I can't believe you just told me you're gay."

"I can't believe you haven't figured," Rachel half-whispered as she slightly leaned towards Kurt.

"Why are we whispering?" Kurt asked whispering as well.

"Because people might hear."

"And we care because?"

"Look, I called you because I need you to help me."

"As much as I love seeing you miserable sometimes, I can't take it if this is about Quinn."

"It is about her," Rachel said now turning her attention back to her salad. "The interview will be this Sunday and I don't know what to say."

"Tell me what you thought about Quinn, the first time you saw her in high school," Kurt said as she straightened up, clearly interested of what Rachel was about to say.

Rachel stopped to think for a while and before she could answer, a smile made itself known. Seeing Rachel smile that way made Kurt roll his yes and say, "Oh, God, Rachel. It creeps me out when you smile like that. Please, stop it. It reminds me of how smitten you were with Mr. Schue."

Rachel giggled, "Well, the first time I saw Quinn in one of our classes in freshman year, I honestly thought she's the most beautiful girl I've seen."

"Lord. If you continue to speak like that, I don't think I'd be able to last longer. Forgive me, I might pass out."

"I'll take that as a cue to continue," she paused and smiled and then continued, "I think, the more often I saw Quinn, the more I got used to her presence. Although she was a lot intimidating… oh, I don't get intimidated, but I always felt shy around her. When she looks at me, I think I die each and every time," Rachel said sheepishly.

"Now, tell me about what you thought of Santana when you first saw her."

Rachel grabbed a small bite of her salad and chewed lightly as she spoke, "She's hot."

Kurt smiled and shrugged as he secretly observed the difference between how Rachel described Quinn and how she described Santana.

"Now, what did you think of Finn when you saw him for the first time?"

"He's tall and awkward and he was kind of hard on the eyes. I don't know if was just me but I didn't instantly think he was cute."

"How come you were so into him?"

"I don't know. I think, he's the kind of guy whose face you grow into. He's kind of cute when he tries to be mature but I think the whole reason why I wanted him so much was because of –"

"Quinn, obviously."

Rachel nodded, "I don't know if I was jealous of Quinn _or _if I was jealous of Finn. He walked around the halls of the school with Quinn as her accessory and I now think he looked really bad with Quinn. Oh, scratch that. Quinn really looked bad with him."

"Is the salad bitter? I can almost sense bitterness from over here and I think the salad caused it."

Rachel rolled her eyes as she sighed dramatically, "I don't know. I'm so confused right now."

"Well, I think its progress."

Rachel just looked at him.

"You… admitting you're confused; we're halfway there. At least, there are no chances of abrupt denial."

"Kurt, I just went all cheesy with Quinn this morning. I don't think I have room for that anymore."

"I don't know why you're so obsessed with the title."

"I think it's not the title I'm obsessed with."

Kurt playfully raised his eyebrows, "Please tell me you're not obsessed with Quinn."

"I _might _be."

"Oh, God, Rachel. You're creepy."

"Hummel! I need finality."

"You described Finn as cute, Santana as hot and then you used the word 'beautiful' describing Quinn. You could have used the word 'pretty' given the song you sang with each other in junior year but you used an adjective that barely qualifies as common word used by a person who would describe someone who treated her badly. Personally, I don't think you're gay, you're in love."

"In love doesn't really count as sexual preference."

"Didn't the girl Carla tell you that you don't have to claim you're gay?"

"Yeah. But I need finality."

"Tell me what you've always thought about having a relationship with a girl."

"I don't know. I never really closed my doors. I had always been open to anything. My dads are gay. I was introduced to the idea since the moment I realized that I didn't have a mother."

Kurt shrugged, "Then, why not tell that version of the story? It's the truth. You're not gonna lie to them. This is minor panic you're having Rachel. Frankly, it scares me how tough you act with this whole not-really-coming-out-thing. But if you really want to do this for Quinn, stop lay outing the cover of the magazine in your mind."

This shut Rachel up.

"This is you being all practical, Rachel. I know, because as much as I hate it, we're similar in so many ways. I know, you're still damned worried about how it turns out for your career so you're here asking me what to say, so you can either be prepared and be backed with a plan B or blame me if everything else fails."

Frankly, Kurt was right.

"If you're really ready to do this for Quinn, you won't even listen to Carla or me or Quinn or – most especially – that little voice inside you that screams fear."

"So, I'm just gonna let my emotions humiliate me in that interview. Great. Nice plan, Kurt."

"See? You actually used the word 'humiliate' in the same sentence as your 'emotions'."

Rachel sighed.

"Look, Rachel Berry. This is normal, you… panicking. I think, every person who grew up used to having an image passes through that phase whenever involved in a homosexual relationship."

"I don't have time to figure this phase out."

Kurt chuckled, "You had five years without Quinn just figuring out that phase, Rachel."

Rachel just looked at him in confusion.

"That was a major gay-bi panic, Rachel… pushing Quinn away and then pretending you were straight. I should guess that when you were hooking up with other people, you've always imagined they were Quinn."

_Yes. This is true._

"You're not entirely gay. You're definitely not straight since I have seen you – numerous times – checking out Santana's legs in high school. You might be bisexual or open or not gender-specific but who cares? You're doing this because you want to show Quinn you love her and not because you want to convince the world that you're so sure of yourself."

Rachel absorbed Kurt's statement for a moment and then just smiled. It was probably the most helpful advice Kurt had given her by far.

Kurt smiled and reached out for Rachel's hand. He clasped it and then said, "But, if it helps calm you down, I have a plan."

"Well," Rachel shrugged as she smiled. "With everything you just said, I think I might need some more convincing."

o-o-o-o-o

The next day, Quinn stayed inside her and Santana's apartment just taking her own share of rest. Tomorrow, she'd be back to her same old busy life as the mentor of Rachel's new publicist. She had outlined everything she needed Carla to learn and without a doubt, she knew that her friend could bear with Rachel.

She spent almost the entire day just reading through past and present press releases of Nina Dobrev and Hayden Panettiere. Seriously, she cannot imagine how she was going to enjoy working them because Hollywood was way different from Broadway. She couldn't weigh which seemed to be more okay for her since she's a little biased for Broadway because holds a special place in her heart – or maybe just someone in it.

Then, that afternoon, a foreign number registered in her voicemail and she wasn't sure where it's from. She had received it a couple of minutes ago while she was busy watching _Heroes _ – that season before it got cancelled.

As she clicked the button, her former roommate's voice echoed from the other end of the line.

_**Q. Seriously. I'm in freaking Australia and all B and I could think about is how you and Rachel are doing. God damn it. Anyway, rumor has it that the midget and the porcelain have refreshed their weird friendship by hanging out tonight in Central Park, checking girls out. I wouldn't have cared if B here didn't insist on telling you. Well, she feels threatened that Rachel finds someone not as boring and hard as you. Love you. **_

As the tone clicked signaling that the message was over, Quinn found herself confused. She didn't want to believe any single bit of it and she wanted to think that this was just Santana teasing her; but it was a call from Australia. It was call in the middle of something she knew Santana wouldn't want to be interrupted.

It didn't sound nice. It actually sounded sarcastic but Quinn knew this is Santana's way of warning her. This is Santana's way of looking out for her.

Quite candidly, Quinn felt something stir in her stomach. She hasn't felt this kind of rush since she saw that guy kiss Rachel on the cheek when she landed in New York a few years back.

Quinn sighed not realizing she was clenching her fists in order to control herself from calling Rachel and asking her about it.

_Why should I care? We're not even together._

Yeah, right.

o-o-o-o-o

Later that evening, Rachel and Kurt found themselves sitting in one of the park benches in near the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir in Central Park. Both of them had a cup of green tea at hand.

Summer was approaching and yet it was cool in Central Park, well, there were trees and a lake so... nature. Both Rachel and Kurt wore casual outfits as if they were just ordinary people checking things out.

"This is a bad idea, Kurt," Rachel said as she anxiously looked at Kurt. "I feel like I'm cheating on her."

Kurt laughed almost immediately, nearly spilling the tea he just sipped, "Cheating on whom exactly?"

"Quinn?"

"Oh my Rachel. You're insane. You're not even together and she doesn't even know we're here trying to figure out what your type is."

"Quinn is my type."

"Quinn is everybody's type."

Rachel just nodded completely agreeing with Kurt said.

"Now, you see that girl at 5 o'clock?"

Rachel looked at the said direction and saw a short-haired blonde girl looking out the lake with two of her friends. She observed for a couple more seconds until she saw the girl glance at her and then, when she realized that Rachel was looking at her, the girl immediately looked away as she tucked a few strands of her blonde locks behind her ear.

"Do you know she's been looking at you like that for the past 15 minutes we've been here?"

Kurt asked.

"No. I've been busy thinking about what to do for Quinn tomorrow," Rachel said laughingly.

The girl, again, looked at her and this time, when Rachel met her eyes, she nodded acknowledging the girl. The girl who seemed a little nervous managed a small smile and then looked away again.

Rachel, in all fairness, thought that the girl was pretty. She was just a little taller than her, blonde hair, amazing jaw line, perfect nose. She was almost Quinn minus the sex appeal.

Did Rachel just really think about Quinn's sex appeal?

"Slip her your number," Kurt said casually.

Upon hearing it, Rachel's eyes grew wide as she dramatically sighed, "No! I'm not cheating on Quinn."

"Give it up, Rachel. We're not cheating on Quinn because you do not have a commitment with her."

"You very well know that I talked to her in Lima and told her that I'm gonna woo her until I get her back. I don't think this is such a way to woo her. If she finds out –"

"That's the point. She's not gonna find out."

"There could be paparazzi here."

"It's not like you're gonna declare you are checking her out. What are your acting skills for?"

Rachel sighed, "Remind me again why you're convincing me to hook up with that girl. She's pretty –"

"That's the point, she's pretty and she likes you. It's not like you're gonna date her. Just small talk her and evaluate what you're gonna feel about it."

Rachel thought about it for a moment. Well, Kurt was right. They spent the last 30 minutes sitting on that bench, checking out every girl that passed them by – rating them from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest.

Kurt had realized that Rachel's type were... girls wearing shorts or dresses or anything that exposed their legs. She also has a thing for blondes – at this observation, he wasn't sure if blondes are really Rachel's type or it's just because of Quinn. She also has a thing for fair-skinned girls. But she also rated 10 for those who were a lot like Santana.

Kurt had enjoyed Rachel 'outgaying' him. Well, Rachel acted like she really liked girls. Somehow, although all the signs pointed out that Rachel is indeed gay, he still didn't jump into the conclusion because every time Rachel said something admirable about a girl who passed by, she would always compare them to Quinn.

To be honest, Kurt was sitting there, all cool and giddy and funny but his insides were erupting with anticipation. After he talked to Rachel last night, he went home and immediately called Santana who was overseas and asked her to log into Skype. There, Kurt told Santana and Brittany everything.

He didn't really want to dip her fingers onto Quinn and Rachel's issues but Kurt being Kurt, he wanted to help. He wanted to stop the drama because he had witnessed it for the brief time that Rachel and Quinn were in Lima.

Little did he expect that his good intentions were immediately screened by the all-protective but not entirely all-Lima Heights Santana. They talked for almost an hour about the possible repercussions of Kurt's plan to take Rachel to finding her gay self. Santana had complained about how Kurt was ruining her honeymoon but the Latina refused to let Kurt's plan go without warning him about how his life is at risk in case it all back fires to Quinn.

He never mentioned it but really, he had admired how Santana was so protective with Quinn but wasn't stupid about blaming Rachel for the entirety of the situation. She knew, they both knew, that Quinn still had feelings for Rachel but was just too scared.

So, they never planned to build an alliance but it somehow clicked the moment Santana said she was going to tell Quinn about Kurt's plan. Kurt had a plan to make Rachel realize how gay she was while Santana had plan to make Quinn jealous for her to see how she still wants – and needs – to be with Rachel.

Santana wasn't on Rachel's side but as said a million times already, she was done seeing Quinn miserable. Santana was on a good place in her life right now, she only wanted the same for her best friend.

So, Kurt and Santana never really planned the alliance they had formed and they never talked about but somehow, it just clicked.

"Okay," finally, Rachel was done over thinking. She stood and took a deep breath, "I'm gonna approach her and tell her I noticed she'd been staring at me because I had been staring at her."

Kurt giggle, "It used to be Blaine's pick up line but you made it sound bad."

Rachel giggled as well, "Oh my God, Kurt. I can't believe I'm about to tell a girl how good she looks and that girl is not Quinn."

Before Rachel could even start walking toward the girl, a funny thing happened.

He phone buzzed in her pocket and to be able to postpone approaching the girl, Rachel slipped the iPhone out of her pocket and opened the message that came from a certain _My Lady_. Yep, Rachel rolls like that.

_**Where are you?**_

Upon reading the message, she immediately turned to Kurt and squealed in mixed excitement, terror and other feelings. "Oh my God, Kurt!" She then sat back next to Kurt, almost jumping in her seat as she showed Kurt Quinn's text. "God! She knows, Kurt! She knows!"

Kurt laughed gently (but he was nervous deep inside), "Rachel, relax. You keep saying my name. Stop this paranoia right now."

To Rachel's horror, her phone buzzed again and again My Lady sent her another text.

_**Rachel?**_

"Kurt! She knows! She'll think I'm cheating on her."

"Send her a reply later," Kurt said as he pushed Rachel up to her feet and encouraged her to approach the girl.

Although she was too paranoid about Quinn finding out what she'd been doing here in Central Park, she still started to walk towards the girl who now seemed conscious about how she looked like.

Before she even made it to where the girl was standing, her phone buzzed again.

_**For some reason, you chose not to respond to me right now. : ( Call me when you're done being busy. I need to talk to you about something about work.**_

Under normal circumstances, Quinn would have talked about how she's not working for her anymore but Quinn is playing the professional card.

_Does... Quinn know? Is there any chance that Quinn is... jealous?_

Rachel smiled to herself. She loves when Quinn claims her to be hers. She slid the phone back the phone back inside her pocket. If this is Quinn knowing about what she's about to do, then this is Quinn being jealous. And let's maybe, Rachel likes it.

Rachel took a deep breath as she walked towards the girl who was now abandoned by her two other friends. Rachel tried so hard to stop herself from laughing at what she was about to say next.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" she opened.

Okay. So this is what Brittany Pierce-Lopez does to you.

The girl got confused for a fraction of second before she smiled and simply shook her head.

Rachel smiled as she moved to the girl's other side and tapped her in the shoulder, "How about in second sight?"

_Really, Rachel?_

The girl laughed shyly as she held out her hands to Rachel, "Emily."

Rachel smilingly shook Emily's hand, "Rachel."

"I know."

"Really?"

"I think there's not a single New Yorker who doesn't know who you are."

"Really?"

"Really."

Rachel laughed as she shook her head, "By the way, I'm sorry for going off too strong about the whole love at first sight. My friend has introduced me to this whole pick up line thing and I tried if it really works."

Emily just smiled and shrugged, "No biggie. I think it's adorable."

Rachel just looked at Emily but her mind drifted somewhere else. _How come I never used that line on Quinn?_

Rachel snapped out of her thoughts when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She ignored it for a while and turned her attention back to Emily.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of Rachel Berry approaching me with her pick up lines?" Emily said as if it was an everyday thing.

"My friend over there," she pointed at Kurt, "told me that you have been staring at me, so I..."

What should she say? _So, I came to approach you because I wanna know if I'm gay enough to ask you out on a date?_

Nah. Not gonna work.

"Oh," Emily uttered before Rachel could continue.

The buzzing of her phone in her pocket had disturbed her. Before she could say something to get her game back, Emily slipped a piece of paper in her hand.

"Call me? Yeah?" Emily asked.

Rachel looked at the paper in her hand and then looked back at Emily. "Sure," Rachel said unwillingly.

When Emily slipped her that piece of paper, something snapped inside her. Something felt... _terribly wrong._

It didn't feel right.

Rachel tried to hide the guilt she felt as she looked at Emily who was smiling shyly.

"I should go. My friends are waiting for me," Emily said as she smiled and then squeezed Rachel's hand. "I really hope to hear from you."

Rachel just nodded. Soon, Emily fled back to her friends gently swaying her hips as she walked, obviously happy that Rachel Berry had a crush on her.

But Rachel just stood still, kind of shocked about how wrong it felt hooking up with Emily no matter how pretty she was and regardless how short the hook up had been. She swallowed and realized that well...

It really doesn't matter if she was gay or bi. _She loves Quinn._

And that's the only thing she needed to say for that interview.

Smilingly, Rachel took her phone out from her pocket, expecting a text or a missed call from _My Lady_ but what she saw as screen turned on was a text from Kurt Hummel.

_**Call off the plan! Quinn is here!**_

Rachel's heart pounded against her chest as she moved to the second message Kurt had sent her.

_**Don't panic. She saw everything.**_

And just like that, Rachel's head snapped up from her phone and looked around. After briefly looking around and after seeing various people walk here and there, she saw the green-eyed monster staring back at her.

Quinn was standing beside a lamp post so Rachel was able to spot her instantly. She looked disappointed even though she tried to keep a straight face. Rachel looked at her and it seemed like Quinn didn't plan on coming here after all.

She wasn't wearing any of her dresses. She was simply on her pair of shorts and a simple white top that had a drawing of an owl. She was also wearing that white wool earflap hat with fleece (that wasn't in season but looked cute on Quinn just because she's cute at all times). She also didn't have any bags or anything with her except for that iPhone in her hand.

That was when Rachel confirmed that Quinn was jealous.

Even though she loved the idea that Quinn was jealous about this whole hooking up thing, she wondered who told her because if Kurt's text was any indication, she knew it wasn't Kurt that spilled the whole plan to Quinn.

Nervously and like an obedient kid, Rachel made her way to Quinn who hasn't moved one bit.

"Quinn," she nervously greeted.

Quinn only looked at her with a blank expression on her face.

"What brought you here?" Rachel asked.

Rachel knew they weren't the right words to say but she had no idea what to say to her since she can't figure out what Quinn was thinking right at that moment.

Meanwhile, Quinn was trying to hold everything back.

_Who am I to be mad at Rachel for flirting with that girl?_

Seriously, she didn't want to bite into one of Santana's many mind games but it had bothered her because well, she hated it when she feels..._ insecure_ of someone who told her she was gonna win her back.

_Yep. That's the correct word. She wasn't jealous. She's insecure._

Yeah right.

"I sent you a message and you didn't respond," Quinn said flatly. "That's weird."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was kind of in the middle of something," Rachel lied. Well, it wasn't a lie entirely. She _was_ in the middle of something.

"I was worried about you," Quinn said as she turned her back. "I'm going back home now. Apparently, I wasted my time coming here all worried about you," she finished as she started walking away from Rachel.

Rachel tentatively looked at Kurt who only mouthed "go".

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Never mind, Rachel. Go back to Kurt now and resume your bonding."

Quinn felt funny inside.

_Really, Quinn? The worried card?_

Rachel half-ran towards her to catch up. "Come on. Don't be mad. And how come you're here? It's not like I come here every day for you to find me."

_Should she say that Santana told her?_

"Uh. They invented something called spy apps?" Quinn replied sarcastically only to regret itbecause now... Rachel will think she'd been spying on her.

"So... you're spying on me?"

"No. It doesn't actually work."

_Oh, Quinn you're losing this._

"How come it worked this time?" Rachel asked trying to hide the smile that was making its way.

_Yep. This is jealous Quinn._

Quinn stopped on her tracks and gave Rachel a frustrated look and said, "I don't know but it worked for once!"

If this happened to someone else, Quinn would have laughed but it was happening to her. She was saying all the wrong things and it will only make Rachel believe that she was... _jealous_.

"So, you were spying on me?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Not."

"Ha! You are!"

Quinn didn't argue anymore. She just fastened her pace because it was the only thing left to do to be able to escape Rachel's inquisition.

"Quinn, hold up!" Rachel called as she grabbed Quinn by the wrist completely stopping the blonde from running away.

"I won't ask you who told you I was here, okay," she wiggled her eyebrows playfully as she continued, "But it's okay if you'll just admit you were jealous."

Quinn instantly pulled her hand away from Rachel and replied in frustration, "Excuse me. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? The girl you saw me talking to was Emily. She has a crush on me."

Quinn's eyes couldn't have grown any wider. _Emily._ Now, all she needed to do was track her down using her spy app and give her a dose of HBIC.

_Did Quinn just think about that?_

"I don't care, okay."

"Now you know what I was talking about."

"No."

"You do."

"No."

"Do."

"Look. If you wanna call her, go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

Rachel was on a high. She loves seeing Quinn hold her feelings back when it's so obvious.

"I won't call her," Rachel said as she raised her hand that was still holding the piece of paper that Emily handed her. She crumpled the paper and then tossed it away. "See?"

"You've probably memorized it."

"Really, Quinn?"

"Well, you're the girl who off-books an entire sequence in just a few minutes."

Rachel smiled, "I haven't even looked at the number."

There were few seconds of nothing but the sound of the environment surrounding them. Then, finally, Quinn smiled.

And Rachel felt relieved.

"Did you bring a life jacket?" Rachel asked smilingly.

Quinn only looked at her in confusion.

Rachel then flushed her mega-watt smile and said, "Because you might drown in my love."

Quinn giggled at this.

That felt right.

_ It felt right with Quinn._

"Let's get back to Kurt, okay?" Rachel said as she tugged the tassels of Quinn's earflap hat.

Quinn only nodded sheepishly as they turned and walked back towards Kurt's direction.

As they slowly dragged their feet towards where Kurt was comfortably waiting for them,

Rachel called, "Quinn?"

"Hmmm?"

"You do know you're the only one for me, right?"

Quinn only smiled at this.

Rachel had been doing all the right things lately and her heart couldn't have swelled any more.

"If you don't know yet, well, I think I just told you," Rachel said silently as she took and Quinn's hand and locked it with hers. "You're the only one for me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>LOL at the pick up lines. Oh God, my friend had helped me for those. Gotta love suave!Rachel. I had fun writing this.<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: A date? Maybe. And is there a chance that Rachel sees Emily again? Hmm.**_


	45. Chapter 45: Calm Before The Storm

**A/N: Oh, God. I'm so sorry for this uber late update. I struggled at my own writing, again for the nth time. I've rewritten this chapter from scratch for five times. THANK YOU, though for all those who loved the previous chapter.**

**And we all love jealous!Quinn, right? Yeah! Thank you for the love, you guys, seriously. I feel guilty for not updating so quickly. But I think from now on, I will be able to update more consistently because I already know what will happen next. (I kind of had to insert this whole chapter up because a lot of you actually loved jealous!Quinn so, that's one factor for the delay.)**

**Lastly, THANK YOU for keeping up with me. I love you all. Happy trick or treating, everyone.**

* * *

><p>For the first time since Quinn came to New York to work for Rachel, days have passed without a single drama. If the days were anything, Rachel could only describe them in one word: sweet.<p>

It had been a sweet few days with Quinn and Rachel felt as if she was winning Quinn slowly but surely. Days have progressed and not a day passed without Rachel looking at Quinn and saw the blonde staring back at her. Those few seconds of looking back into Quinn's eyes were Rachel's favorite part of the day.

Quinn taught and guided Carla about everything that involved Rachel's attitude and the demands of the diva's job. It was fun seeing Quinn teach Carla every step because Quinn was surprisingly a hard teacher to please. She always wanted things to be perfect and Rachel knew, she was sure, that Carla was unfortunately talking to the protective Quinn and not the Quinn who was just doing her job.

Carla seemed to have a good grasp on her job but there were some parts of Quinn's previous role in her life that the blonde didn't hand over to Carla. This included the silent alone moments in the dressing room, little talks in between breaks and the constant reminders that Rachel should care more about herself.

Quinn still wiped the sweat off her forehead when she was on a 15-minute break, the blonde would still bring her water whenever she felt tired, and Quinn still made her shoulder available every time Rachel just wanted to lean on something and rest for a while.

These were little moments but Rachel lived to every single bit of it.

She won't ever forget how Quinn tried to stay awake when they talked on the phone until it was one in the morning and none of them could stand it anymore. It always made her smile when she would say something and Quinn would answer about something totally out of topic with her sleepy voice and Rachel knew, she was sure, that Quinn was too sleepy but refused to hung up.

She won't ever forget the cookies that Quinn baked for her the other day because Quinn called it the 'Smiling Quinn Cookies'. The vegan cookies had smiling faces on it and they were just simply smiley lines but Rachel found them really cute just because they looked like the same smiling bagels that Quinn gave her way back in high school.

Rachel was happy because everything came out naturally, like she didn't have to try hard. She was trying and she would always try but the good thing about these past few days, Quinn met her halfway. Rachel knew she was doing the right things and slowly but surely, it didn't feel so tiring anymore.

Slowly but surely, she saw Quinn go back to that same old person Rachel fell in love with and to say honestly?

Rachel felt herself falling even further.

Quinn, on the other hand, just felt as if she was indeed falling back to being that same old person she was. Rachel's efforts were hard to ignore especially because she knew that Rachel was trying hard to prove her something.

It always made her smile because just like most days, her heart would beat faster and her knees would go weak whenever Rachel was around. It had been a while since she felt that way and she's feeling it all again for the same old reason.

Quinn was happy because things made a complete turnaround. She and Rachel were again inseparable and she liked it because she always felt safe with Rachel. In fact, she felt safer with Rachel now more than ever. Sure, things were going back to how they were in high school but Quinn was certain that some things have changed for the better; even better that it was in senior year.

The blonde knew that wherever this – whatever this is between them – is headed, it will be something more serious and Quinn was excited to find out.

"Quinn," Santana called. "You've zoned out, again."

Brittany and Santana came home from Australia yesterday night. Although the couple had slept the whole day, Quinn still wasn't able to escape the two's hunger for details as they sat by their kitchen bar. The newlyweds have decided to take the apartment and Quinn opted to stay, since she was here only for a few more days and then she's off to LA. And so, for the last few weeks, the Unholy Trinity stayed together.

"Sorry," Quinn said smilingly.

"You look good, Q," Brittany said as she started eating the donuts Quinn bought earlier that day.

"Thanks," Quinn said shyly.

Santana rolled her eyes and she will never admit but yeah, Quinn had never looked this good for the past five years they've spent together. Every single thing about Quinn right at moment screams positive aura and love and other things associated with that.

Quinn had already told them about Rachel's labors to win her back. From the grandest to the simplest acts, Quinn had detailed everything and Santana, again, won't admit that she had never seen Quinn that happy. Quinn looked so happy that it seemed unreal to Santana.

_Rachel sure has a different effect on my best friend._

"Quinn," still, Santana Lopez was Santana Lopez.

Quinn, as well as Brittany, turned to her with questioning looks because her tone changed all of a sudden.

"You know I love you, right?" Santana asked, her voice sounding protective and a little hesitant.

She didn't want to spoil the moment but she had to say it.

Quinn just nodded knowing where Santana was leading the conversation.

Santana reached out for Quinn's hand and met her eyes, "Be careful."

Quinn melted into the Latina's gaze. Sometimes, it's surreal how protective Santana was; how she can make you feel protected and safe. Sometimes, Quinn felt as if she didn't deserve her but if she would ever say that out loud, Santana would kill her.

"Don't worry about me," Quinn said as she smiled weakly. She knew that Santana was serious about her warning and she can never ever blame the Latina for it.

Brittany rested her hand on top of Santana and Quinn's, "We're here for you, Q."

"Thank you, you two," Quinn said smilingly.

"So," Santana said breaking the already-mushy moment making them all get their hands back. "Has the dwarf asked you out?"

This made Quinn smile so big that it hurt her.

"Oh God, she's gone crazy, S," Brittany commented at how big Quinn's smile was.

Santana laughed at this, "Q? Are you just gonna smile at me like that?"

"Yeah, she's asked me out."

"Aaaaaannnnd?" Brittany asked as she excitedly sat beside Quinn and nudged her.

"I said yes."

Brittany squealed and Santana just shook her head suddenly embarrassed at how excited Brittany was and how smitten Quinn was.

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh my God."

Brittany started making theories about Rachel's big first date plan and Santana started laughing at Brittany's weird ideas as Quinn just started to think that they _might_ be possible. Their mini-bonding experience was interrupted when the doorbell rang.

The taller blonde quickly ran to the door and came back with a smiling Rachel Berry beside her.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked immediately upon seeing Rachel.

"Not expecting you, RuPaul," Santana greeted.

"I am so sorry about coming here without notice but would you mind if I borrow Quinn for the night?"

All of them turned to Santana as if they were asking if she'll agree to let Quinn go for the night.

"And why is that?" Santana asked in a somewhat serious manner.

Quinn turned to Rachel and asked, "I thought we're going out tomorrow?"

Rachel swallowed. She had originally set their first date tomorrow but her interview was also set tomorrow morning and she badly needed to be with Quinn tonight for additional courage and inspiration.

"Yeah, but I can't wait. I want to show you something," Rachel answered as she turned to Santana. "San, please?"

None of them had said it out loud but somehow, they all agreed that if things were bound to change, they all needed Santana's permission.

"San," Brittany said sweetly.

Even Brittany, who can always change the way Santana thinks, knew that when it came to Quinn, no one can ever stop the Latina's protective instincts. "Please, baby. Let them."

Santana exchanged looks with Brittany and sighed, "Okay, Berry. Get her back before 12."

The other three's eyes widened in question of Santana's…. _curfew_?

"San?" Quinn questioned.

"Q," Santana replied firmly.

"San? Wha –"

"It's 12 or you don't get to take the girl out, Berry."

Even though she was surprised, Rachel nodded, "I'll get her back by 12."

Quinn shook her head and pouted.

"Don't give me that, Fabray. It's not gonna work on me."

Quinn impatiently stood and stomped her foot. "You're treating me like a nine-year old."

"Oh, believe me, I'm being generous."

"Santana!"

"Quinn!"

This shut Quinn up. With the way Santana yelled, there was no denying she was serious about the curfew.

Quinn dramatically turned her back from Santana and faced Rachel, "I'll just go change into something more pleasing."

"No need to, Quinn. You look okay and you don't really need to dress up."

Quinn looked at what she was wearing. She was clad in her simple pair of white shorts and blue polo shirt. "Are you sure?"

Rachel nodded.

Then, a thought crossed Santana's mind, "Wait a second." Santana smirked mischievously, "Berry, I heard about this girl, Emily."

Quinn's eyes grew wide. She can't believe they were about to talk about _that_ girl.

Rachel looked at Santana wondering why she had brought Emily up. Rachel turned to Brittany and saw the girl mirroring the same mischievous smile on Santana's face. Then, it clicked.

"Yeah, Emily," Rachel nodded with a sudden air of cockiness.

"Short-haired blondes, huh," Santana teased.

They were all dying to see jealous Quinn.

"Kurt called earlier and he told me about Emily," Brittany said smilingly as she sat on Santana's lap. The Latina's arms automatically snaked around her wife's waist.

Seriously, Quinn cannot believe they were actually talking about _her._

"Apparently, Emily was a high school cheerleader," Santana said.

"And the president of the abstinence club," added Brittany. "But was never the HBIC."

"Well, I bet she'll never call you Man Hands, RuPaul, Treasure Trail –"

"I didn't mean those things!" Quinn yelled before her whole system could stop it. She regretted it instantly because now… Rachel would think she's…

Quinn was blushing profusely and Rachel can't help but smile because she was too adorable.

"Oh, I wasn't necessarily talking about you," Santana said still with that smirk.

"Where did you get all this information?" Rachel asked.

"Uh, it's the 21st century?" Santana replied sarcastically. "They have invented this thing called Facebook."

"You background checked her?" Quinn asked, again, before she could stop it.

"Yep," Brittany answered. "Kurt added her on Facebook and he told me that Emily had posted a status about meeting Rachel and she was so happy."

"Maybe, we can set her up on a date with you, Berry –"

"No!" Quinn almost yelled to stop the idea from coming into anyone's mind.

_What the hell is going on? Why are we actually talking about that girl?_

"Why not, Q?" Santana asked. "Berry is single."

Quinn opened her mouth to say something but realized that Santana was right. Rachel was, technically, single. But eventually, her mind caught up with her.

"We do not know her. Who knows she might be a stalker… or a serial killer or... something."

Quinn knew she sounded stupid.

_Really, Quinn?_

Nobody said anything for a while. They all tried to stop themselves from laughing at how Quinn was acting.

"She doesn't look like she's gonna hurt Rach or something. She seems nice. I've seen her photos," Brittany said. Well, she was sort of lying. She hasn't seen her, Kurt only told her about it.

"Looks can be deceiving, Brit," Quinn said now with the growing frustration.

"We should call her, Rach –"

"No one's gonna call her. This isn't a discussion," Quinn interrupted. She was already frowning.

"Emily seems nice," Rachel said.

Quinn turned to her and frowned even more.

_ What the hell?_

Rachel smiled._ Oh God, I'll never get over jealous Quinn._

Quinn looked at Rachel and thought that she was smiling because of Emily. She then turned to Brittany and Santana and then it clicked.

She just got caught being jealous about some other short-haired blonde girl in Rachel's life. Quinn rolled her eyes and once again, stomped her foot, "You know what, go do whatever you want Rach."

_ Oh God, I really have to stop falling for Rachel's mini-games._

"You're jealous, Q," Santana said smirking.

"I'm not."

"You are. You practically turned into the prettier version of Hell Boy upon hearing the name," Santana elaborated.

"I was just –"

"Don't get started with me, Quinn."

"You're so cute when you're jealous, baby Q," Brittany said smilingly.

"I wasn't jealous."

"You were," Rachel said.

"Not!" Quinn said now getting even more frustrated.

_I wasn't jealous! I was just protecting Rachel!_

"You were."

"Not."

"Were."

Quinn sighed audibly, giving up on the discussion. _Yep, she just got caught._ Quinn Fabray just got caught being jealous.

For the third time in that course of their discussion, she stomped her foot.

"And you call me childish?" Rachel teased.

"You know what, whatever!" Quinn said as she turned her back to complete a storm out but then, someone grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around.

It was Rachel who was smiling brightly.

"Sometimes, I wish I could rearrange the alphabet," Rachel said.

Quinn just looked at her with a straight face, still frustrated of the earlier conversation.

"So I can put U and I together," Rachel delivered.

Quinn had to look away to try and hide the smile that easily made its way to her face. In a snap, she was blushing and she was smiling. Santana wolf-whistled as Brittany clapped laughingly, "Nice one, Rach!"

"I think, we should be lab partners," said Rachel.

Although she was still blushing, Quinn turned to Rachel. This time, she was pressing her lips tightly because for the nth time that week, that_ stupid_ smile was plastered on her face.

"Because we have chemistry," Rachel said proudly.

Brittany and Santana laughed at this.

"Stop it, Rach," Quinn said smilingly.

_What is happening to me?_

Yep. The world has gone crazy, one minute Quinn Fabray was all mad and frustrated now, she has that stupid smile on her face again.

"Top view, side view, bottom view; whichever view… I love View," Rachel laughingly.

"Oh my God, Rachel!" Santana squealed laughingly hurling a fake apple which hit Rachel but the diva didn't seem to feel because she was staring at Quinn.

Quinn was smiling so shyly and adorably that Rachel thought she could die.

_That smile._

Yep, she was falling harder.

o-o-o-o-o

Half an hour later, Santana and Brittany were preparing the pizza they ordered for dinner. It arrived an hour ago but was ignored because of Rachel's pickup line galore. Santana was leaning on the kitchen bar looking like she was trying to melt the ice on the glass of water in front of her by just staring at it.

"Oh, God, Quinn looks so happy," Santana said silently.

Brittany looked up and agreed, "Yeah. Isn't it nice to her happy, finally?"

Santana just nodded.

Brittany then moved behind Santana and hugged her. She rested her chin on the Latina's shoulder. "Your baby's all grown up now."

Santana smiled, "Yeah, B. Do you remember how she laughed at Berry's pickups? She hasn't laughed like that for years."

"I know. Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel sorry for Quinn's life because she has a good smile and laugh and all but because of all the things she went through, she wasn't able to share them. Only if Quinn's life were any different…"

"She probably wouldn't have met us if she embraced her dorky side."

Brittany laughed, "You're right, that's the reason why I'm thankful that Quinn didn't turn out to be like Sam because you'll never be friends with her in high school."

Santana gently laughed. For a quiet few moments, they just thought about Quinn and Rachel. "Our baby's getting a girlfriend now," Brittany said laughingly.

Santana chuckled, "Oh God! As much as I hate it, I think you're right."

"I'm always right."

"Yeah, you are."

Brittany broke the contact as the microwave beeped. The blonde gave Santana a gentle tap on the shoulder as she smiled, "Don't worry about her, S. She's gonna be fine. Wherever this might lead to, she's gonna be fine. We'll always be here for her."

Santana just nodded, agreeing and hoping that this – whatever this is between Rachel and Quinn – would turn out to be good this time around. She nodded because Brittany was right, her baby's all grown up now and some part of Santana's whole being knew that Quinn's gonna be fine now, whichever way this goes.

Yet, there's the other half of Santana's instincts. She wouldn't waste her time standing there if she didn't feel something like… whatever she was feeling deep inside. The last time she felt it? It was when she took Quinn to LAX when the blonde was headed for Rachel to New York and what happened next after that? Quinn came back with a whole life to fix before her.

Santana closed her eyes for a fraction of second and sighed. She tried to push this one aside because she didn't want to be right about this feeling. She didn't want a repeat of what happened a few years back.

For a moment, Santana wished she didn't have a history of being right about her judgment of things. She wished she didn't feel that something was about to go wrong with whatever this is between Rachel and Quinn. She wished she never felt this way because it always scares the crap out of her but Santana Lopez' instincts were never wrong. _Never._

o-o-o-o-o

In her simple pair of shorts and flats, her blue polo shirt and the earflap hat that Rachel had insisted her on wearing, Quinn sat across Rachel inside the diva's Hummer.

The diva had been driving for almost half an hour and Rachel had been surprisingly silent. Although she never said much, Quinn knew that Rachel was both excited and nervous. She was driving unusually fast which both scared and confused Quinn.

"Please tell me you're not planning to kidnap me," Quinn joked.

Rachel chuckled, "Believe me, I badly want to."

Quinn managed a small laugh, "Where are we going, Rach?"

"Somewhere," Rachel said, still not averting her eyes from the road. "I really want to show you something."

"You have been doing a lot of things for me lately. You really don't have to –"

"Quinn," Rachel interrupted as she slowed down just a bit and tentatively looked at the adorable rambling blonde. "We both know we've lost five years. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it up but I'll take anything I can get."

"I thought you planned the whole first date thing tomorrow," said Quinn.

"Yes. I believe I originally planned it for tomorrow. But after I show you what you'll see later, you'll know why I rescheduled it."

"And why are we driving this fast? Tell me you're not trying to get us killed."

"Quinn, your best friend is acting all too protective and I need to get you back by 12."

Quinn laughed at this, "I'm sorry about Santana, Rach. We don't really need to follow her orders, I can handle her."

Rachel cackled, "It's actually nice having curfew like this."

"Why?"

Rachel shook her head smilingly, "It feels like high school. You know, with the curfew and all. Santana's like your mom."

"Prepared to get killed if you tell her that."

"I know."

"Are we there yet?" Quinn asked as she slightly pouted.

"Getting bored already?"

Quinn sighed and pouted even more, "You know I've been trying too hard not to fall asleep."

Rachel nearly cooed at this, "You've been way too cute lately."

"I'm not cute. Stop saying I'm cute."

"But you are."

"Dogs are cute. Cats are cute."

"You're a drama queen, Fabray."

"Not."

"Drama queen."

"You're the one to talk."

Rachel smiled as she reached out for Quinn's hand and squeezed it. "Thanks for being all too adorable around me, Quinn. I kinda missed this side of yours."

"Don't get started with saying that I had been like a jealous girlfriend lately bec -"

"I was talking about that side of yours," Rachel said laughingly. "The side that doesn't think about everything she's saying. You're lovely like that Quinn."

Quinn just smiled, flattered of Rachel's statement.

"And the fact that you actually referred to yourself as a jealous girlfriend -"

"I wasn't jealous."

"Yes, Quinn. You weren't jealous," Rachel teased.

Quinn chose not to argue anymore because she knew that Rachel was aware that she was indeed jealous with Emily, although she will never admit it out loud.

After a few more minutes of driving, Quinn noticed that they were headed to Long Beach. They had been driving for almost an hour and Quinn could already smell the fresh scent of the beach. Suddenly, Quinn felt excited deep inside especially when Rachel didn't stop by any of the expensive restaurants or the fancy hotels. Rachel kept driving until they reached the part of the beach that had loads of people. The Hummer was very useful at the moment because they were literally driving on sand.

The moment Rachel stopped the car, Quinn immediately noticed that they pulled over just beside an ancient-looking lighthouse. It was when Rachel opened the door for her that her thoughts caught up with her.

"Wow, Rach. I'm – "

"Ssssshhhh. You haven't seen anything yet."

After saying that, Rachel grabbed her by the hand and dragged her up the lighthouse. Damn. She never really liked climbing stairs but she had always wanted to climb a lighthouse. Quinn always found it very calming and amazing.

Her legs hurt upon reaching the top but the moment Rachel opened the door to the deck, Quinn was only able to gasp because the view was amazing. It was already late in the evening so there wasn't a good view of the ocean but Quinn liked the view from the top. There were a lot of stars above the intense darkness of the ocean and the sound of the waves was music to her ears.

Faint sounds of party music from down the shore could still be heard but the silent sound of nature enveloped them. It was so silent and serene that Quinn felt as if Rachel would hear her heart beating.

And man, if only Rachel could hear, the diva would know how fast it was beating.

The dim yellowish light of the deck slightly illuminated and highlighted Rachel's face: her eyes, her nose, her lips, her cheeks – all of the things that Quinn came to memorize since senior high.

"You're beautiful, Rach," Quinn said before she could stop herself.

Rachel looked at her and smiled shyly. "You are, too. Still the most beautiful girl I know."

Quinn knew she was blushing, again.

"What did you want to show me?"

Rachel smiled as she leaned on the railing of the deck. She wrapped her arm around Quinn's waist and pulled her closer. She then stretched her other hand and pointed towards the shore just a little far from where the lighthouse stood. Quinn saw that there were approximately more than a hundred people gathered; being busy about something she can't tell what.

"These people gather here every year to make a wish," Rachel said as she leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder. The blonde then put her arm around Rachel's shoulder. "Legend says that this place makes people's wishes come true."

"Shall we make a wish now?"

"Not yet. Wait for it."

Rachel then moved away from Quinn and gathered something from inside the lighthouse.

For a moment, Quinn was left by herself and the silence that embraced her let her hear her own thoughts.

She still loves Rachel.

So much.

She still loves Rachel that she couldn't envision her life without her.

Soon as she felt Rachel's hand wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, Quinn closed her eyes and admitted to herself that she wants Rachel. She admitted to herself that she wants to be with Rachel. Quinn wants to be Rachel's one and only because Rachel is the one and only person in her life that she loved this much.

She was almost ready to take that one chance again.

She was falling head over heels in love with Rachel, again... over and over again.

She knew she's getting to trust Rachel again with her heart even though she was the same person that broke it apart a few years back.

"I'm sorry for my lack of appropriate food for the night," Rachel said as she handed Quinn a snack bar and bottle of water. "I was planning to get some Chinese but I need to take you back by 12 and I didn't really want to waste time. That snack bar actually tastes good. If you want more, I could give you mine and –"

"It's okay, Rach. Thank you."

They stood there for a few more minutes and after sharing a moment of silence. Rachel returned inside the lighthouse and then came back with something in both of her hands – _sky lanterns_. It made Quinn smile and she immediately turned to look at the bunch of people she saw earlier.

There were more people now, everywhere. They were almost surrounding the lighthouse and Quinn saw that all of them were lighting the lanterns in their hands.

"It's almost time," Rachel said as she handed Quinn a white sky lantern. Quinn immediately recognized that the lantern she was holding was similar to all those people down below.

She took the lantern smilingly and took the lighter from Rachel's hand and lit her own lantern.

"Easy there, lady. You wouldn't want to get burned," Rachel said as she helped Quinn light up her lantern. As the lantern lit, Quinn gazed at it like a child.

Rachel looked at Quinn and tears immediately formed in her eyes.

_ Oh, God. I love her._

Rachel also lit her own lantern and turned to Quinn, "Make a wish now. Soon as the gong echoes, we'll have to let these lanterns fly."

Quinn held her lantern on one hand and took Rachel's hand on the other.

Silently, Quinn wished – prayed – that she was right about her decision to give Rachel a chance.

Quinn wished – prayed – that it will turn out good.

Quinn wished – prayed – that her relationship with Rachel would work this time.

She wished and prayed and begged for these things because Quinn knew she was getting there.

_Almost there._

She opened her eyes and felt her tears form. She saw Rachel with her eyes closed, also making her own wish.

_ Oh, God. I love her._

A few seconds more, the sound of a gong echoed in the area and soon as that, Quinn saw everything around her light up.

The moment she and Rachel released their sky lanterns, more than a hundred sky lanterns flew around them. They all flew in different directions and they all swayed in rhythm with the light wind. There was not a sweet music playing in the background. There wasn't anything else in there but the sky lanterns that fled beautifully around them.

Quinn felt Rachel squeeze her hand.

"It's beautiful," Rachel said as she sighed contentedly. They were both overlooking the entire place from the lighthouse and they were surrounded by hundreds of sky lanterns.

"It's perfect," Quinn said. Her hand was still locked with Rachel's and she hoped that Rachel knew that she wasn't just talking about the perfect sky lanterns. She was talking about the perfect first date.

Yes. A lighthouse, sky lanterns, a snack bar, a bottle of water and her earflap hat – this is perfect first date for Quinn even if they were bound to a 12 midnight curfew.

She looked at Rachel and saw the diva staring back at her. It was a perfect movie scene.

"I love you, Quinn. I'd say it everyday because I feel it everyday," Rachel said and now, the moment was even more perfect.

Given the chance, Quinn would want someone to take a picture of this very romantic moment.

She knew she'd always want to remember this forever.

"What did you wish for?" Rachel asked.

"Are we allowed to tell?"

Rachel chuckled, "Yes. Of course."

"I won't tell you mine. It's a secret."

Rachel playfully smacked her in the arm, "You're such a tease."

"What did you wish for, Rach?"

Rachel smiled. She sighed as she met Quinn's eyes, "I wished for you to trust me again."

Quinn didn't expect her to answer. When she kept her wish to herself, she expected Rachel to do the same but damn Rachel Berry for always knowing how to surprise Quinn. The blonde just smiled not knowing how to respond to that.

"But don't worry, Quinn. I don't want to rush you. It's only been a few weeks since I started wooing you. I still kind of enjoy the chase."

Quinn chuckled, "Rachel Berry."

"I'm serious, blondie. If have to go here every year, wishing for the same thing, I would. I love you that much. Since I started coming here five years ago, I wished for the same thing and it came true this year."

"What did you wish for?"

"You... coming back for me."

Again, Quinn didn't know how to respond to that.

"Quinn, may I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"I know it's too soon but ever since we had that talk in Lima, I haven't stopped thinking about you. I think about you the moment I wake up and you are the last thought I have in mind before I sleep. I think about you when I sing about love. When people ask me about my future plans, I always think of a future with you. Quinn, I love you."

"I know."

"Sure, the past had been bothering us and it will never stop haunting us but I'm willing to prove to you that I am better than that. _We_ are better than that. We are better than our 18-year-old selves because we love each other. I know you love me, Quinn."

Quinn opened her mouth to say something but she was melting under Rachel's intense gaze that she forgot what she wanted to say.

"I know you love me but you're scared to be with me. I will never blame you and I will never get tired of proving myself to you. But please, give me something to hold on to."

Quinn knew what Rachel was trying to say. She had been in her position some five years back when she was struggling to know where she was in Rachel's life when they were 3,000 miles apart. She knew how it felt being unsure of what the other person feels or when the other person would be ready to love her back.

She was little Ms. Been There, Done That at that moment and it pained her to think that Rachel was going through the same torture. She knew how it all felt and she didn't want Rachel to feel that because it felt horrible.

Quinn brought up a hand and caressed Rachel's cheek. She felt the diva lean on to the touch. "I'm getting there, Rach. I'm almost there."

She said it because it was true. She accepted and admitted the fact that she was falling for Rachel again and it didn't hurt admitting that it was only a matter of time before she was fully ready to commit to her.

Rachel smiled and those tears that had been threatening her eyes fell, "Thank you, Quinn."

"No, Rach. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me."

"It's hard not to, you know."

Quinn cackled at how casual it sounded coming from Rachel. It felt natural, like she said it everyday.

"I have one more question, though."

Quinn looked at her and saw a playful look in her eyes.

"If I go straight this way..."

Quinn knew what was bound to come.

"...will I be able to reach your heart?"

They both laughed at this. Of course, a pickup line.

"You're really getting good at this one, Rach."

"There are 20 angels in the world right now, Quinn. 11 of them are playing, eight are sleeping…" Rachel paused to smile, "…and one of them is standing here in front of me." She mentally patted herself on the back because Quinn blushed at this one.

"Stop it, Rach."

"You really want me to stop?'

Quinn was alarmed by this. Did she really want Rachel to stop?

Rachel chuckled, "I knew it. You love it, do you?"

"I... uh –" For the nth time that week, Rachel Berry rendered Quinn speechless.

"My love for you is like diarrhea..."

Quinn smiled brightly. _Of course, she didn't want her to stop._

"...I just can't hold it in."

Both of them laughed at the pickup line.

For some reason, Quinn and Rachel both knew – deep inside – that there will be more moments like this; moments that they'd be so happy and they'd just want to share it with each other and no one else. For some reason, Quinn and Rachel knew that they're headed somewhere.

They both felt as if they were headed somewhere they've never been before and they felt something coming – and for whatever it is, it's going to be beautiful.

Both of them wished it'd last – whatever it may be.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, good Lord, Rachel's pickup lines are growing on me.<strong>

**For the next chapter: The interview. Quinn's reaction and… Rachel's reaction? Hmm.**


	46. Chapter 46: Out and About

**A/N: See? I'm trying to make it up to you guys. : ) ****A lot of people are wishing for a kiss already. Oh, we'll see about that. LOL. A huge THANK YOU to those people who are keeping up with me. And may I just say this, I also love Rachel's pickup lines. "Calm Before the Storm"... Hmmm, I think you guys know me already. I've been dropping clues everywhere! **

**So here's another chapter. I kind of enjoyed writing this. Hope y'all like it. Warning: Major cliffy. (I'm gonna go hide because I might receive death threats again. LOL) Forgive me? *puppy dog eyes***

* * *

><p><em>A peaking Broadway career, an upcoming Tony award, huge Broadway projects, nightly standing ovations and Quinn by her side.<em>

This.

This is how she pictured her life five years after leaving Lima and swearing in front of the entire Glee Club that she will be a Broadway star someday.

Since she and Quinn got along well again, Rachel felt as if her life had shifted into a complete different direction. For five empty years, she had never felt as happy as Quinn made her in the past few weeks. And finally, Rachel felt as if she was where she's supposed to be.

She still can't help but laugh whenever the thought of throwing Quinn out passes her mind. How can she be so stupid? How can she let Quinn go? But whenever it crossed her mind, it also reminded her how Quinn gave her one more chance and Rachel was thankful for that.

_"I'm getting there, Rach. I'm almost there."_

These were the words that Rachel held on to when she came to that interview. She was nervous and she didn't know how the world will react but she had to do it – for her and Quinn.

She wasn't sure if she was ready for how the world will react and she can never say she's prepared but every time Quinn's words resounded in her head, she felt braver.

Maybe it was also a co-incidence that before the interview started, she received a text from Quinn and Santana.

_**I miss you.**_

It was the one from Quinn. They were three simple words but when they came from the person you love the most, they have the capability to make your day and that's what it did to Rachel. She needed it. She needed to know that Quinn misses her because she needed to be reminded why she was doing this interview in the first place.

After sending Quinn an "I miss you more" text, she opened Santana's and that's when all the pressure settled.

_**Berry, I don't want to talk to you and make you cry again so I'm saying this here. Take care of Quinn. I don't know if I trust you all the way but I think she trusts you again and I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Don't screw this up, Stubbles. You've got a good thing going on with Q.**_

This text made her smile and the pressure she felt was a good kind of pressure. This is Santana Lopez we are talking about and even though Rachel knows she'll never gain Santana's 100% percent trust ever again, it's comforting knowing that the Latina was giving her the chance, too.

She sent a "Thank you, San. It means a lot to me." text to Santana and then did the right thing to do.

She called her dads and told them about her interview. They were shocked at first but they were still her ever supportive dads. They said they were happy for her and that she was doing the right thing for Quinn.

After saying goodbye to her dads, she exchanged good luck hugs with Carla and Charles who went to the interview with her. Kurt and Blaine were also there to support her and they told her that she was indeed, doing the right thing.

And before she faced the person who will write about the article that will change her life, she recalled Quinn's words in her head.

_"I'm getting there, Rach. I'm almost there."_

o-o-o-o-o

Two weeks after her first date with Rachel, Quinn woke up with a smile on her face. It has been like that since Rachel took her to that lighthouse. She wasn't much of a fan of spontaneous first dates but that's what happens to you when you're with Rachel Berry – you become a fan of anything spontaneous. Every day that passed since that first date with Rachel was amazing. One simple dinner or lunch felt special because Rachel Berry knows just how to make you feel special.

One time at dinner, she had Quinn serenaded by a mini-orchestra. One time at lunch, she connived with the waiter to serve Quinn a dessert with an _I Love You _message. One time, after one of Rachel's shows, Quinn was (again) serenaded by a street musician. Rachel always had a way of making Quinn feel special and Quinn felt it all over again.

Right now, she was supposed to be LA, starting to work for Nina and Hayden but she called her boss and told him that she needed more time to settle things up with her previous boss. This is partly true because Carla still needed to learn about Broadway since she came from the lights of Hollywood. But the whole reason for the delay of her move was, of course, Rachel.

Things between them had gone absolutely well and moving to a place 3,000 miles away just felt wrong.

She didn't want to walk out of Rachel's life again, especially now that things have gone great and she felt as if they could really be something. Quinn only needed one more thing.

She only needed to be sure that Rachel was ready for her. She needed to know that Rachel was ready for _them _– for a relationship, a serious one; because at that moment, Quinn Fabray knew one thing, she was ready for Rachel.

She was ready for Rachel, again.

Before going off bed to start her day, she immediately checked her phone and saw two messages. She checked the message that came from Carla.

_**Quinn. Whatever it is that you'll find out today, I was just doing my job. Don't be mad at me, boss. I hope things will work out with you and Rachel.**_

_What was she talking about?_

She didn't know what Carla was talking about. She suddenly felt as if there was something going on behind her back. She didn't know how to react on this so she decided to ask Carla later, she had more messages to read.

Moving on to the next message, she saw Rachel's name and got excited about it. She hasn't even read the text but she was already smiling.

_**Quinn, I don't know how you'll react but I did something. You'll find out today, eventually but whatever your reaction may be, I just want to tell you that I did for you. I did it for us. I love you.**_

_What the hell is happening?_

Now, her heart was beating fast. She suddenly found it hard to breathe. She tried calling Carla, Charles, Megan and Rachel but none of them wanted to speak about it. They kept telling her that she'll eventually find out. She also asked Kurt and Blaine but they said they didn't know anything about it.

She also tried asking Santana and Brittany – even went as far as waking them up and found them naked in their bed – but the two didn't have any idea about it.

Santana eventually got tired of her pacing back and forth and suggested that Quinn should go for a run. Quinn thought about it and was at first hesitant because she so wanted to go to Rachel and ask her about it. But then, she knew Rachel wanted her to figure out her way, so she agreed to Santana's idea.

She and Brittany went off for a run in Central Park; Santana didn't come because she had to go to school early for she was still catching up.

After a few laps around the reservoir, Brittany and Quinn decided to grab breakfast at their favorite café along Madison Avenue. While listening to Brittany's stories about their honeymoon, Quinn couldn't help but still think about what Carla and Rachel were talking about.

They were nearing the petite café, when a magazine stand caught her and Brittany's attention almost simultaneously.

Quinn has this habit of briefly looking at magazine covers every time she passed by a magazine stand. She and Brittany almost just ignored the magazine stand but both of them walked back to the stand after briefly realizing that Rachel was on one of it – _People _of all magazines.

"Rachel didn't mention she was going to cover on People," Brittany said as she nonchalantly grabbed one of the copies and raised it for Quinn to see as well.

There, both of their jaws dropped to the floor.

Rachel posed as if she was on a red carpet in a white backless dress, exposing her sun-kissed skin. Her smile was, as usual, mega-watt but what surprised both blondes was the title written boldly on the cover of the magazine above all the celebrity photos:

_"I'm in love with a girl."_

Rachel Berry goes OUT and ABOUT her personal life.

Quinn's heart started beating faster – faster than usual, faster than ever. She didn't have any other thoughts aside from: _what the hell? _She felt her system stop and if Brittany wasn't beside her for support, Quinn was sure she would have fainted.

Before she realized it, Brittany already bought two copies of the magazine and she was already being dragged inside their favorite café. Brittany immediately approached the counter and ordered their usual stuff as the blonde dragged her and pushed her to her seat and laid the magazine in front of her.

"Go, read it, Q," Brittany said enthusiastically.

"No," Quinn said with wide eyes as she nervously shook her head.

"Come on, baby Q. Don't you realize what's happening?"

Quinn just shook her head.

Brittany sat beside her and held her hand, "Come on. I'm gonna read it with you."

Quinn sighed nervously. She was already trembling and she didn't know what she was feeling.

"Q… Come on. I don't know what's written inside but we both know why Rachel did this."

"This isn't real. It's probably a rumor or something… with that Emily? Oh my God, did she go out with Emily that I didn't know about? That's probably it. Or, this could be a lampoon issue. You know, those parody issues. This isn't real Brit. We shouldn't get ahead of ourselves. Rachel won't ever –"

Brittany chuckled at Quinn's rambling, "Then, what do we have to lose?"

"You can read it and tell me about it later."

"Quinn," Brittany squeezed the nervous blonde's hand. "Look, you'll figure it out eventually."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"It's probably because she wanted to surprise you."

"Well, congratulations to her, I guess. She succeeded in surprising me."

"Let's just read it."

"Brit I –"

Quinn was cut when Brittany opened the magazine for her, "You read it yourself or I'll read it out loud. Choose."

Quinn contemplated for a while. She knew Brittany would go as far as reading it out loud for her so, she smiled nervously and stared blankly at the magazine in front of her. It was already opened on the centerfold and there she saw another photo of Rachel surrounded by words she assumed was the actual "coming out" interview.

_What did Rachel say?_

_ Did she talk about our whole story?_

_ Did she mention it was me?_

_ Did she talk about how horrible I was to her in high school?_

_ Did she mention about me having bulimia?_

Quinn had more questions in mind. She was nervous and she didn't know how to even out her breathing.

"You can do this, Q," Brittany said as she kissed Quinn's temple and then, she quickly sent a text to Santana telling her about the magazine.

"I'm gonna read it," Quinn said as she finally began reading the words that would probably change her life.

Cover Story

**Rachel Berry: OUT and ABOUT**

"_I'm in love with a girl," she tells People. Broadway superstar Rachel Berry finally speaks about her personal life._

With millions of adoring fans all over America, she has served as an inspiration to many dreamers all over the country. Being known as the _small town girl with huge dreams_, 23-year old Rachel Berry made it to New York to pursue a now-surging theater career.

"People from all over the country come to New York just to see my shows and it's amazing. I think, I have the best fans in the world," says Berry. "The thing about being in Broadway, people come for you. It's not like the movies they can access in the nearest movie house in town. It's expensive and they have to save money to watch the shows and they still come to watch you sing, so I think, Broadway fans are very dedicated fans."

From small theater shows in Julliard to small roles in Broadway and now to huge on-going and upcoming projects, Berry has established herself as one of Broadway's most prominent names. Her most recent achievement would be the controversial protagonist Lilibeth in _Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time_, which recently filled the New Amsterdam Theater.

"None of us [in the production] ever expected the support we got for Lilibeth. It's amazing, how the fans accepted this show because it's not a Broadway classic. It is something new we're introducing. It's a bit overwhelming and I'm getting a lot of credit for it which, the whole production deserves as well."

Her verified Twitter account has reached nearly a million followers and everyone in the Twitverse has been buzzing about her upcoming Tony award, "Oh my God [laughs]. I haven't thought about that [laughs]. That's a lie [laughs]. I can't say I'm not excited to get a Tony. It's been the biggest dream of my life but I'm more focused on other important things in my life right now. A Tony is a good thing, but if I'm not good without it, I'll never be good with it. Whatever happens, I still have more years in my career to get one or get a couple more."

Despite the countless achievements she has under her collar, the young theater star has been a little private about her personal life. Aside from her countless drunken exposes earlier this year, she hasn't spoken about her dating life. "I think it's great news for my fans, I'm over that stage of my life. Alcohol was a good company but the long-term effects were no good. Trust me, there were bad times in my life that I had no other refuge for but parties and alcohol but I got over it. Thankfully," she tells People.

"The reason why I never really talked about my personal life is that, it had always been… complicated," says Berry. Now, after years of keeping her personal life under the radar, Rachel Berry – daughter of Leroy and Hiram Berry, a gay couple in Ohio – finally reveals the secret lingering long after the curtains have been laid down. "I'm in love with a girl," she confesses.

People: To set the record straight, are you gay?

Rachel Berry: I may be, I may be not. I grew up in Lima, Ohio and people have been pressed onto labels. It's something they hold on to because it's safe knowing who you are so you'd know how to act. But I had always known I am different, I guess having two gay dads says something already. I don't have a problem being gay, if I happen to be gay. But I don't want people to call me that just because I'm in love with a girl. I could say that I have always been open to whoever I fall in love with.

People: Have you had relationships with a guy before?

Rachel Berry: Of course, I've had real relationships with guys before and I was really in love them. In high school, I've had great relationships but I guess I couldn't really fool myself any longer, I've always liked _her _since day one.

People: Who was the first person you told about her?

Rachel Berry: My dads. I tell them everything plus, I didn't really have that much friends so I think there wasn't much of a choice. [laughs] I don't think it came as a surprise. They always knew. They're a gay couple for crying out loud.

People: Why tell _People _now?

Rachel Berry: As I've said, I've liked this person since the day I saw her in freshman high school but I've been so in denial about these feelings I have developed and what, it's been almost ten years of denial. Don't you think that's enough? [laughs] Besides, I really, really want to be with this person. I think this is a step I'm bound to take so why wait?

People: You've liked her since freshman year? Do you want to elaborate on that?

Rachel Berry: It's a crush, I guess. She's very beautiful. There's no denying about that. She was the most beautiful girl in my school at that time. I won't lie; it's hard not to question your sexuality when you see an angel fall down from the sky. [laughs] Oh, my God. Can we delete that? It's cheesy.

People: How did you two actually meet?

Rachel Berry: I had known who she was ever since freshman year but we only met in sophomore year when she joined the Glee club. Yeah, I was in my high school Glee club, surprise, surprise. [laughs] I never acted on my feelings, though. High school was a tough time for me, I had more pressing issues that time than my crush on her.

People: How come you never acted on it?

Rachel Berry: As I have said, I lived in a community of labels. People who were different weren't exactly welcome. I wasn't the most likeable person in high school and I think, if I acted on my feelings, I would be condemned for life. I wouldn't have made it here. I could have died. [laughs] And apart from that, even though it was okay for a girl to like a girl in Lima, I still wouldn't have acted on it.

People: Why not?

Rachel Berry: We weren't… in good terms. She's part of the "in" crowd, you know, high school stuff; and I was obnoxious and loud. I was at the bottom of the social pyramid. If I ever acted on it on the first place, I would have scared her away.

People: Can you tell us more about the story of your _relationship _with this girl?

Rachel Berry: You can pretty much tell our story through high school chic-flicks. She was at the top of the social pyramid and I was nowhere to be seen, except during the times that I was publicly humiliated. Yeah, I know, I know it was bad. But well, there was some point in high school that she decided to be friends with me, we were in Glee club together and maybe she realized that it was stupid to feud over and over. We got along surprisingly well. We were inseparable. But that was in senior year, we had to go separate ways eventually. We knew something more was going on between us but when we addressed it, it was almost graduation and we had to go and never act on what we had. It was pretty special.

People: So, you never got to be with her?

Rachel Berry: No. Sadly, I was all chicken about my feelings and I pushed her away. I think, that's the biggest regret I have in my life.

People: Earlier, you said, you really, really want to be with this girl. Seems like there's still a chance?

Rachel Berry: Yes. I guess the stars have aligned for me and that person came back and stirred my life just like she always did. This is an extraordinary second chance I got and I guess, I just can't screw it up.

People: How do you think going loud and proud about your feelings is going to change everything?

Rachel Berry: That's the risk I'm taking. I'm in love with this girl, badly. This is my way of letting her know that I'm not about to go chicken out again just like what I did when I pushed her away. Plus, I really want to stop lying about my personal life. She's an amazing girl and I want to be able to tell the world about her.

People: Tell us more about her.

Rachel Berry: I don't know what to say. She's amazing. I don't think there are any more words that could be better than that. You know the feeling that a person seems to bring out the best and worst in you, she's that for me.

People: You keep on smiling everytime you mention her.

Rachel Berry: Yeah, is that a bad thing? I think I've gone crazy. She has that effect on me.

People: What is it about her that makes Rachel Berry smile so much?

Rachel Berry: [laughs] Oh, my God. I don't know. I… I just love everything about her so much. She makes me feel loved and wanted. I think, all the people who will be reading things may say good and bad things about me. They can talk about anything about me but they can't disagree with me when I say that at the end of the day, it all boils down to one thing – we all just want to be loved. And that's what she makes me feel.

People: Aren't you scared about how this will affect your career?

Rachel Berry: That's absurd. Of course, I'm scared. But my career is not everything to me now. The good thing about Broadway, they don't care about who you date. I can be with whoever I want and still be that Rachel Berry who filled the New Amsterdam Theater. There will be changes, people will be judging me but I guess she will be worth it. She's always going to be worth it.

People: You're so in love with her, are you?

Rachel Berry: I am. I'm in love with her… very much.

People: If there's something you want the readers to learn from this, what would that be?

Rachel Berry: That love isn't supposed to be scripted. No one can tell you who you should be with because it's the way it supposed to be. I'm a girl who's in love with a girl and I can't help it if she has everything I have looked for in a partner. If someone reading this is in the same situation as I am, I hope they'd act on it soon. I was lucky to get a second chance. I'm not sure if they'll be lucky as me. If you feel that there's a chance – even if it's a small chance – that that person is _the one_, go get them. Go get them because if you don't, you'll never know just how amazing it could be.

People: You seem happy.

Rachel Berry: I am. Blame her; she makes me happy. And I think, dealing with my feelings for her actually makes me happy. It's hard to lie about something that makes up who you are. I've been stranded for a while and it didn't make me happy. So, yeah, we can conclude that I'm finally happy. All I want right now is to be happy… with her.

"Oh my God, Q," Brittany said as she finished reading the article. "Oh my God."

Brittany turned to Quinn and saw her with unshed tears.

With a sigh, Quinn closed the magazine and stared at it for a while. "Did she just –"

"Q, she just told the world about how in love she is with you. That's the sweetest thing ever."

Unconsciously, Quinn's once-unshed tears started to stream down her face.

"Baby Q, why are you crying?"

"I don't know," Quinn replied as she leaned on Brittany's shoulder unable to stop the coming of tears.

Honestly, she didn't really know why she was crying. She didn't know what to feel. She didn't expect it and Quinn hated it because she was confused. All of her questions were put to rest because every word, every line on that interview answered everything she wanted to know.

Rachel loved her this much.

Isn't this what she wanted in the first place?

Quinn's heart was beating faster, again, faster than ever. Really, her heart topped itself for the hundredth time that morning.

But what was she supposed to do?

What does Rachel expect her to do?

What should she do?

Now, a new pile of questions bugged her mind.

"She loves you Q," Brittany said as she kissed the top of Quinn's head. "I've never read an interview that talked so much about love like this one."

Quinn chuckled, "She's crazy."

"You love her, do you?"

Quinn silently nodded. It's true.

"Then, go get her."

"I don't know what to do."

"What do _you _want to do?"

Silently, Quinn thought about what she was going to do. Sure, it was a life changing interview and it sure will send their relationship to a new course but it didn't give away Quinn's next step.

Or maybe, it did.

o-o-o-o-o

Since Quinn and Brittany got home from the run and the café, no one has ever heard from Quinn who locked herself up in her room.

Rachel and Carla have called a few times but Quinn left her phone in the living room, trying to save herself from anyone who wanted to question why she was locking herself up. Kurt, Blaine and Mercedes also tried calling out on her but the blonde refused to talk to anyone.

Kurt and Blaine were in Rachel's apartment, trying to comfort the panicking Rachel who was already convinced that she had scared Quinn away; that she had forced the situation and that Quinn was never ready for this. Her fathers have called a few times telling her that she should give Quinn some time because the blonde was practically surprised with the interview.

It had been all over the news. Various talk shows have called Carla and Charles asking Rachel for a TV and radio interview. Nightly showbiz talk shows have already talked about her interview and showbiz websites have buzzed her story over the internet.

She knew her fans have Tweeted her about the _People _interview but she hasn't checked her Tweets just yet. She was also nervous about her fans' reactions but she was a lot more nervous at that time about Quinn's.

Kurt, Blaine and Carla were monitoring her Twitter account and although she got curious every time the trio giggled about the Tweets, she chose to ignore them for a while. She was busy calling Brittany every now and then to check if Quinn had finished camping inside her room.

Back at the Pierce-Lopez', Santana rushed home from school upon hearing that Quinn had locked herself up.

"_Ay Dios mio! _What is the drama about?" Santana yelled as she dropped her keys on the kitchen counter and went straight to knock furiously on Quinn's room. Brittany, who was sitting on the couch, shot up and followed Santana's move. "Fabray, open this up!" Santana yelled as she knocked over and over.

She was somehow worried about Quinn because she knew every time Quinn locked herself up, she was usually emotionally distraught. Remember junior year Nationals – the "I just want somebody to love me" – fiasco?

"Quinn, come on!" Santana practically begged for her best friend to come out.

"Leave me alone, Santana!" Quinn yelled from inside the room.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Choose, Fabray. You'll come out of there or I'll come barging in? You know very well could break your door!"

The Latina was already growing impatient about Quinn's stubbornness.

"Baby Q, talk to us," Brittany sweetly called out as she knocked as well.

"Oh, God. I feel like I have a five-year old daughter inside!" Santana huffed.

Brittany smiled as she gently kissed Santana on the lips, "She's our baby."

"Oh, no Brit. I don't have a kid as stubborn as that!" Santana said shaking her head as she again, turned to the door and knocked. "Get of there, bitch!"

A few more minutes and there was no sign of Quinn.

"Fuck you, Fabray. At the count of three I'm breaking in!" Santana said as she sighed audibly.

Brittany stepped back because she knew, she was sure, that Santana was serious about barging in.

"One!" the Latina shouted. Although her voice seemed as if she was ready to attack the door anytime, Santana's form was nowhere near attack mode. She knew very well that at the count of two, or before her count hits three, Quinn would eventually give up the act.

"Two!" Santana said but still, no sign of Quinn.

"Oh my God, San. We're gonna have to call someone to repair the door," Brittany concluded.

"That's if it even hits three, baby," Santana smirked.

"Two point five, Fabray!" Santana yelled with somewhat air of finality.

In a fraction of second, the door swung open revealing a pouting Quinn. "What?" Quinn asked, frustrated that the Latina won.

"Wow, San. That's amazing," Brittany said smilingly.

"What's with the drama, Q?" Santana asked dragging Quinn to the center of the living room. The Latina studied Quinn's face. Her eyes weren't red of tears and in an instant, Santana knew what was happening inside Quinn's head. "See? You weren't even crying."

"Who told you I was crying?" Quinn shot back.

"What are you even doing here? You should be in Rachel's apartment, making out with her or something."

"San!"

"Stop going all chicken shit, Quinn!"

Quinn sighed, "I don't know what do."

"You know, bitch. You know very well. Stop putting that act on me. You're not stupid, Fabray and it's exhausting to look at you when you act like one."

Santana then grabbed the latest issue of _People _resting on the coffee table and waved it in front of Quinn's face, "This is real, Q."

Quinn sighed again, "What if –"

"Fuck!" Santana cried as she grabbed Quinn by the collar of her button up checkered shirt and looked at her in the eyes. "I did not spend five years of my life taking care of you if I will just let you go on with your life limited to your what if's."

"Santana, it's not that easy."

"San, you're hurting her," Brittany said trying to calm Santana down.

"Look at me, Q," Santana was still holding on to Quinn's collar and when the blonde didn't look at her, she shook her to get her attention. "I said look at me."

This tone of Santana's voice was calm and low but it always scared Quinn. It was so silent that she was forced to meet Santana's eyes.

"Here's the chance you've been waiting for. Stop asking your questions right now and see what the dwarf can do for you."

"You never really liked her."

Santana finally let go of Quinn and gently pushed her, "I never liked her but you love her. I don't care who you are with Q, I just want to see you happy."

Quinn sighed for the nth time.

Santana reached out for Quinn's hand and squeezed it, "Remember when you forced me to jump off that cliff?"

Quinn nodded.

"Well, imagine yourself jumping off that cliff. Britts and I will be down here waiting, no matter what happens."

The sincerity in Santana's eyes gave Quinn the much needed courage she had been struggling to get all day since reading that cover story.

Quinn smiled, "Thank you, San."

Santana nodded approvingly and said, "Go get the girl now, Cap."

Quinn smiled once more before turning on her heels and started running for her life.

Once Quinn was out of the door, Santana turned to Brittany and smirked, "Call Blaine. They're at Rachel's. Tell him to get some booze. We'll be celebrating something."

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn ran out of the building, hailed a cab and started going after her _life._

_Yes, her life._

Rachel had always been her life.

Rachel had always been _the one_.

Quinn's heart started beating fast, breathing became so hard to do and her knees grew weak at the thought of what Rachel did for her – for _them._

This is what she had been waiting all along – for Rachel to be ready for her, for their relationship.

This is what she asked for all her life and Rachel just did the one thing that convinced her that the diva was indeed ready.

_Damn this classic New York traffic._

Her heart was threatening to jump out of its place because she was too excited.

Quinn was too excited to tell Rachel that she wanted to be there when Rachel stars as Kim for Miss Saigon this winter. Quinn was too excited to tell Rachel that she wanted to hear Rachel sing "Sun and Moon". She wanted to tell Rachel how she wanted her to sing that song to her.

She wanted to tell Rachel how much she missed her. She wanted to tell Rachel how much she wanted to come back for her but never had the guts to.

She wanted to tell Rachel how much she needed her in between those years that she was sick. She wanted to tell Rachel that she never stopped caring for her; that she never hated her; that she always believed in her.

Quinn wanted to tell Rachel that she had always been enough for her; that it doesn't matter if she talked loud or if she was obnoxious, or if she was self-centered.

Quinn wanted to get to Rachel's apartment soon enough to be able to tell her how much she loves her.

Quinn wanted to make Rachel feel loved, wanted and protected because after all these years, this is the one thing that Quinn had always wanted her to feel.

Tears fell from Quinn's eyes but this time, they were tears of happiness. Happiness brought by the chance of being with Rachel; of being with _her _Rachel – the Rachel that did that interview not caring about how it will affect her career.

She wanted to see _her _Rachel – the Rachel that was ready for her.

Quinn cannot help but smile despite her tears.

_Rachel was crazy._

And she loved that crazy Rachel who just told the world how in love she is with her.

Quinn cannot help but smile despite her tears because she could see the road stretching in front of her and she couldn't wait to take on that road – with Rachel's hand in hers.

_This is it._

_ The chance Quinn Fabray had waited for all her life._

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel paced nervously in her living room. Carla and Kurt sat by the kitchen bar observing her. Blaine went out to get some booze after getting that call from Brittany – that same that call made her nervous.

Brittany told Blaine and Blaine announced that Quinn was coming.

Quinn freaking Fabray was on her way to Rachel's apartment.

Sure, Rachel had hoped for the best but there was a part of her that told her not to get her hopes up.

This is Quinn Fabray we're talking about.

She was the high school HBIC who only cared about her reputation, social status and image. What if she was mad at her for going public? What if she was mad because she didn't tell her about the cover story?

Rachel's thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell rung.

_She's here._

Rachel stood frozen and this caused Kurt to get the door instead.

When he came back, he was grinning proudly and walking behind her was Quinn – with that look on her face that calmed Rachel.

_The Quinn in front of her wasn't the HBIC, definitely. It was the Quinn she was so in love with._

Rachel opened her mouth to say something but Quinn's stare melted her entire being.

"Rachel," Quinn called.

"Quinn," Rachel called back.

Kurt and Carla were smiling so wide that it hurt their faces.

Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes and saw nothing but the person she loved no matter how many times she got hurt.

Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes and saw the person she had been in love with since day one.

Quinn and Rachel looked into each other's eyes and saw one thing – love; a love that had been long unaddressed and a love that had been long buried under different levels of pain and hurt.

They say memory is brutal because it is precise and memories can't help but bring old pain and hurt back. But looking at the bigger picture, memory is sweet because it reminds you the past that made you happy.

Right there and then, Quinn and Rachel looked at each other and memory was a good thing, for the first time. It reminded them of senior year when nothing else mattered but their hugs, sweet gestures and they way they looked at each other that told them how much they mean to one another.

Rachel loved Quinn, Quinn loved Rachel – always have, always will.

Rachel and Quinn were like spaghetti and meatballs, or Oreos and milk, or bacon and egg – separately, they were just plain stuff but together, they're something more; something special.

"Quinn," Rachel said finding it hard to choose the words to say.

"Rach," Quinn said also finding it hard to choose the words to say.

And as they say it, when words get in the way, there's only one thing left to do.

Rachel stepped closer to Quinn, completely invading her personal space. She snaked her arms around Quinn's neck as the blonde instantly found the smaller girl's waist.

"Hi," Rachel greeted smilingly.

Quinn smiled, "Hello."

Slowly, and even though her heart was racing to ends of New York, Rachel stood on her toes and leaned forward to close the gap between her and Quinn.

Quinn met her halfway, knowing very well was about to come.

In a matter of seconds, Quinn felt Rachel's lips on hers.

_Fireworks._

Quinn closed her eyes and felt the warmth it gave her; she felt the sincerity, the truth behind Rachel's actions. All Rachel's words echoed in her mind and it felt right, it felt real. She pulled Rachel closer to her because it was the only thing left to do.

It was gentle, sweet and soft. It was their first kiss and it felt special; like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly.

Rachel's knees were shaking. She closed her eyes because she couldn't believe that she kissed Quinn.

She kissed Quinn freaking Fabray for the first time and it was nothing like Finn's or Jesse's or Puck's kiss. It was something more, it was something else. It denoted something significant; like her life was about to change.

She settled for the soft kiss although she had wanted to deepen it and make Quinn feel how much she loved her.

It was perfect.

Rachel could not ask for anything more in her life right now.

For a moment, the world behind her disappeared. For a moment, the world didn't matter to her. Quinn was there with her, kissing her back and it was enough.

The thought made Rachel smile onto Quinn's lips. Slowly, they both opened their eyes and there, Rachel saw that Quinn was in tears.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked as she pressed their foreheads together. The kiss was over but the feeling of it lingered on.

"I'm just –"Quinn said as she smiled. "I'm just so happy," she finally managed.

Rachel wiped the tears off Quinn's face and gave her a peck on the lips.

"For the nth time, Quinn, I love you," Rachel said. She said it because it was true. She said it because she felt it, she felt it everyday.

Quinn closed her eyes and smiled. She pulled Rachel into a deep crushing hug and said, "I love you, too, Rach, so much."

For one extraordinary moment, Rachel felt brave. Rachel felt invincible and finally, she had the courage enough to ask Quinn one question she had always wanted to ask her. She was scared of the answer but she had to. She just had to ask.

"Quinn," Rachel said as she broke the hug and met Quinn's eyes. Her hands were shaking but she couldn't let this moment pass, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Oops, I did it again, didn't I? Sorry about the cliffhanger, it's a much-needed cliffy there. :)<strong>_

_**May I just say how much I love Santana here? I dunno, but when I write about Quinn's attitude, I always as if Santana's the only cure for it.**_

**_For the next chapter: It's time to go back to reality my loves._  
><strong>


	47. Chapter 47: After All

**A/N: *puppy dog eyes* Forgive me? I know it's been a long time and I'm really sorry! Things got a lot busy at work and I didn't even have time to complete an 8-hour sleep, not even six or five! So yeah. Sorry about that. But here it is! And thank you all for keeping up!**

**So here's the next chapter. Warnings? One, lengthy and two, major "c". *grins**

"_Will you be my girlfriend?"_

Finally, Quinn heard it.

It seemed unreal coming from the one person she had always wanted to ask the million-dollar question. It was risky to say yes because it would put everything on the line. It was dangerous say yes because Quinn knew Rachel is the risk to take but Quinn didn't have any other answers in mind.

It's yes. It will always be _yes_.

She was scared but she knew it's wasn't _too soon_. For goodness' sake, she waited five years for this.

"Yes, Rach, I would love to do the honor," Quinn said, her eyes glowing with tears.

Quinn Fabray wasn't stupid. She knew, somehow, someday – she'd have to put herself out there.

Rachel smiled like she just won her first ever Tony.

Two seconds ago, Quinn Fabray – former Head Cheerio, former HBIC Quinn Fabray – just became Rachel Berry's girl freaking friend. Rachel pulled Quinn into another hug and kissed her cheek, "Oh my God."

Quinn shook her head laughingly and kissed Rachel's temple, "Oh my God, yourself."

Rachel and Quinn were pulled out of their own world when Carla and Kurt clapped in sync.

"If someone told me in high school that Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry will be together, like romantically, I would have laughed at it," Kurt said as he walked over to the new couple and extended his arms to hug them. "Congratulations, you two. Finally!"

Rachel and Quinn, both blushing in their slightest shade of red, went to hug Kurt.

"Best day ever," Carla said as she joined the hug. "I haven't seen much drama but I felt as if people have been waiting for this."

"Oh God, Carla; don't ever wish to witness the drama," Kurt said as he kissed Quinn's and Rachel's temples and then looked at them. "No making out for the night, okay?"

Rachel laughed as she broke the mini-hugging session, "I'll try but you do know how clingy I get when I'm drunk."

"Rachel!" Quinn said stomping her foot, embarrassed of what Rachel just said.

"Quinn, from now on, please stop stomping your foot when you get frustrated," said Rachel. "You do know you're not gonna get me with that, right?"

Quinn chuckled, "I'm not so sure. It always worked, somehow."

"Did we miss something?" Brittany asked excitedly as she ran inside the apartment, tugging Santana and Blaine with her.

"The apocalypse," Kurt nonchalantly said as he helped Blaine with the booze he bought from the nearby convenience store. "They kissed –"

Brittany shrieked and then literally jumped over to Quinn and hugged her for dear life.

"Brit… I… can't…" Quinn said finding it hard to breathe under Brittany's crushing hug.

Rachel smiled as she said, "Careful not to crush my _girlfriend_into pieces, Brit."

Blaine and Santana's jaws dropped to the floor at that as Brittany – again – shrieked in excitement breaking away from Quinn then jumping over to Rachel, hugging her for dear life.

"Oh my God, Rachel!" Brittany said hugging the smaller girl. "Congratulations!"

"Congratulations you guys," Blaine said opening a bottle of champagne from out-of-nowhere. "This calls for a celebration! It's like five years!" he cheered.

Santana laughed, "Berry finally got a backbone instead of a wishbone."

Quinn and Santana exchanged knowing looks before the Latina went to the kitchen and fetched wine glasses for everyone. Years of friendship told them both what that look meant, _I'm happy for you, bitch._

The night went on and everyone got caught up on their mini-celebration inside Rachel's apartment. Music blared around the living room as everyone enjoyed the drinks.

An hour and a half later, Blaine and Kurt were already dancing with the stripper drunk Brittany while Carla and Santana – surprisingly – had one thing in common: weepy drunk. Seriously, you guys, they were crying about how The O.C. was cancelled and how lame that Marissa died. Just a while ago, they were crying at how Dan and Blair will never end up together, they were unsung_ Dair_ shippers.

Meanwhile, while everyone was busy with their own drunken universe, Quinn and Rachel were sitting on couch, tangled in each other's arms – completely sober. Quinn had spent all night telling Rachel that she shouldn't drink because she had rehearsals for the next day.

A few hours more, alcohol effects sunk in and everyone – except for Rachel and Quinn – fell asleep. Kurt and Blaine slept comfortably on the floor with a piece of comforter under them, while Carla took the couch as Brittany and Santana slept in the blonde's former room after doing what they usually do. _Oh, you know what that is._

Quinn and Rachel stayed awake inside the brunette's room, cuddling in her bed. _Please stop all those thoughts, they just got together. _

The blonde stared at the ceiling, embracing the comfortable silence she shared with her _girlfriend_ while Rachel was staring at _her_ Quinn.

"I hope you're not diabetic," Rachel told Quinn with a playful smile.

Quinn turned to Rachel with a knowing smirk. She knew where Rachel was leading this. "And why is that?"

"I'm planning to be the sweetest person for you," Rachel said as she kissed Quinn's hand that had been locked with hers for probably the entire night.

"Rachel, how long did you practice these pickup lines?"

"There are only two instances that I want to be with you," Rachel said ignoring Quinn's previous question.

Rolling her eyes, Quinn decided to play along, "And when is that?"

"Now and forever," Rachel said proudly.

Quinn laughed at this. _Seriously, since when did Rachel become this cool?_

"I would be throwing all my watches tomorrow," Rachel continued.

Quinn just looked at her.

"They're useless. Time stops every time I look at you," Rachel said, mentally giving herself a pat on the back. She knew Quinn loved that.

Quinn laughingly shook her head, "You love making me smile do you?"

Rachel shrugged with smug smile playing on her lips, "It's my new favorite thing to do. And that, right there baby, wasn't a pickup line."

Quinn leaned toward Rachel and kissed her gently, "I love you."

"I love you, too," said Rachel.

"Even if you turn into a cactus…"

Rachel's eyes grew wide. Is Quinn about to –

"I'd be willing to hurt myself just to be able to hug you," Quinn said with a playful smile on her lips.

A pickup line from Quinn Fabray?

_Oh, that's epic._

Rachel laughed at Quinn's attempt. "Score one for Fabray!" Rachel said in between laughs. She'll never get over it.

"You think, you're the only one who can bring them on?"

"Oh, God," Rachel said pulling Quinn closer.

"But seriously, Rach. Thank you for everything," Quinn said silently.

Rachel smiled as Quinn rested her head on her shoulder, "I did it for us."

"I know. And although you still owe me one for keeping me off guarded, I'm happy you did it."

Rachel kissed the top of Quinn's head, "It's just the start. I haven't read my Tweets or online articles yet. I better prepare myself."

"We'll read them together."

"Quinn, whatever happens, please remember that I love you."

"I will and remember that I love you, too."

For a quiet few moments, silence enveloped them.

Now, they're sure that they're lives has changed.

"Can we sleep now?" Quinn asked breaking the life-changing silence.

"I don't want to sleep. It's the best night of my life," Rachel said jokingly.

Quinn looked up and met Rachel's eyes, "Go to sleep now, Rach," Quinn paused to smile, "I'd still be here in the morning."

_That was the only assurance that Rachel needed._

She kissed Quinn again and it lingered longer than usual. Quinn kissed her back and she knew she'll never get enough.

Once the kiss was over, "I think I just forgot your name."

Quinn just looked at her.

_Quinn has this adorable look on her face whenever she's anticipating my pickups._

"Can I call you 'mine'?"

Quinn chuckled, "No."

Rachel looked at Quinn slightly confused.

"I'm 'yours'," Quinn shot back proudly.

_Oh God. Rachel's loving this._

And they've only just begun.

o-o-o-o-o

As they say it, you can have all the fun in one night, but after all dreams have been dreamed, reality checks back in the morning.

For the past five years of her life, Rachel woke up alone in her bed except for the few times she spent the night making out with one of her castmates. Usually, she will be greeted by the empty side of the bed, that annoyingly pale ceiling and that irritating sound of the alarm clock – reminding her that even if she had everything, she had no one to share it with.

_ But that morning was different._

Rachel opened her eyes and the first thing she realized was that – it wasn't a dream.

Lying beside her – legs tangled with hers, arms calmly embracing her – was _Quinn Fabray, her girlfriend._

For the first time in the past few successful years of her life, Rachel Berry felt contented. That's what you get when you see Quinn Fabray solemnly and half-smilingly sleeping with her messy hair almost covering her angelic face.

Rachel brought up a hand and tucked away the stray strands of blonde locks that covered Quinn's face. When Quinn moved one bit, Rachel wished she didn't wake her because she still wanted to embrace that one single moment of staring at Quinn's sleeping feature, memorizing it because she was planning to remember it for the rest of her life.

She wanted to remember how happy sleeping Quinn looked on that first morning after they got together.

Luckily, the gesture didn't wake Quinn. It only made her pull Rachel closer and it only made Rachel smile more.

_ Oh, God. I could go on like this forever._

For a quiet few minutes, Rachel just stared at Quinn ignoring all the thoughts she had about her most recent career move. She knew people would be saying something but the real time question was: how prepared was she?

She didn't know but the girl beside her had the ability to calm her without even knowing it. She knew she had to deal with the world later but right at that beautiful morning inside her beautiful apartment in the beautiful city of New York, she just chose to wrap her arms around the beautiful blonde beside her.

Everything was beautiful about Rachel Berry's world and nothing hurt.

It was until Brittany rushed inside their room disturbing their moment, well Rachel's moment that is.

"Breakfast! I'm starving and Santana's head is about to explode," Brittany announced as she bouncily sat on the edge of the bed greeting Rachel with a nod. She then turned to Quinn and shook the blonde in her sleep, "Baby, Q. Wake up!"

Rachel turned to Quinn and saw the blonde slowly opening her eyes. Quinn smiled at Brittany and then at Rachel and then tentatively rubbed her eyes with her knuckles. Rachel smiled at this. There are so many adorable things about Quinn that Rachel will never get over with.

"What time is it?" Quinn asked sleepily.

"Half past nine," Brittany said.

"Oh Lord, have we slept that much?"

"You two were obviously enjoying your cuddle. We've been up an hour ago and we were waiting for you to wake up so we can eat the waffles that Carla made for breakfast. It smells so good."

Rachel chuckled, "Okay, Brit. Right after you."

"Okay!" Brittany cheerfully said as she jumped off the bed and exited the room.

Almost simultaneously, Quinn and Rachel relaxed back on the bed, still unwilling to catch up with the rest of the gang. It's the first morning of their relationship! _Who would have thought Quinn and Rachel were both suckers for dramatic firsts._

"Good morning," Rachel greeted. "Let's go get some breakfast."

Quinn pouted as she shook her head.

"Do we have five-year old Quinn here?"

"Rach," Quinn called sweetly as she smiled. "Can we stay here for a while?"

"Believe me, I want to but unless we want Santana to greet us in Spanish yelling, we wouldn't stay here any longer," Rachel said leaning towards Quinn.

Quinn also leaned towards Rachel expecting for a kiss but then, the brunette pulled away with a playful smile on her face, "You can get your kiss later."

Quinn frowned and Rachel adored it.

"You do realize I'm not planning to kiss you anymore after doing that to me, do you?" Quinn asked acting disappointed as she stood from the bed and fixed her messy hair with her hand.

"We'll see about that, kid," Rachel said as she stood as well, loving the childish attitude that Quinn had learned to master.

Quinn only acted this way around her. Rachel always gives in to this side of her and apparently, Quinn always knew when to use it.

The blonde stomped her foot before heading to the door.

"When did you learn to stomp your foot like that?" Rachel asked following Quinn out of the door.

"I don't want to talk to you," Quinn said as if she was a kid and Rachel was her mom who just gave away all the candies for Halloween.

Rachel chuckled and took Quinn's hand, "It's okay as long as I can hold your hand."

Quinn pulled her hand away and frowned playfully at Rachel, "No hand holding, too."

When Rachel and Quinn reached the kitchen, all of their friends were already gathered around the table enjoying the waffles that Carla prepared. Brittany was right, it really smelled good.

Quinn looked at the frowning Santana who looked as if she was going to kill someone. Her hair was up in a messy bun as she sipped from her glass of coffee. The blonde sat on the empty chair next to Santana and asked, "You okay, San?"

Santana turned to her rolling her eyes, "Do I look okay?"

Quinn shook her head.

Santana just nodded sarcastically as Quinn observed everyone. Everyone really looked like they just came from a fight or something.

"This is why I hate cheap, convenience store beers," Kurt said as he sipped from his glass of coffee.

Rachel chuckled, "I've got pain killers in stock. You all look doomed."

"My hhhead hurtchs but thesh wafflesh are amazching," Brittany said with her mouth full of waffles.

"Don't talk when your mouth is full, B," Santana told Brittany.

Brittany mouthed a 'sorry' before putting her attention back to the waffles.

Carla served Rachel and Quinn her infamous waffles. Both of them started eating and both silently agreed that it was indeed amazing. Silence lingered in the kitchen for a moment until Carla turned to Rachel and said, "We're meeting with the producers of Miss Saigon later, Ms. Berry. They want to ask a few questions about… your most recent interview."

Rachel – and Quinn – looked up to Carla, nervously.

"Don't worry. They're not pulling you off the production, you're still the next Kim," Carla said as she sat next to Rachel and looked at Quinn then back to Rachel, "They just want to clear things up."

"Is Charles going with us?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Carla said as she nodded.

"Can I come?" Quinn asked Carla.

"Sorry, Quinn. The producers want a closed door meeting with Rachel's immediate staff," Carla smiled sadly.

"Oh," Quinn said turning her attention back to her waffles.

"Rachel, you have to promise me VIP tickets for Miss Saigon," Kurt said excitedly.

Rachel smiled, "Of course, Kurt."

"Miss Saigon is like the Goddess of the productions," Kurt said turning to Rachel. "Who's playing the male lead?"

"I think, the auditions are still on-going," Rachel asked turning to Carla for affirmation.

"Yes," Carla said as she nodded. "Auditions are still on-going for the male lead. I heard they're looking for a non-traditional Chris."

All of them turned to Blaine.

Blaine's eyes grew wide, "Do I look like an American soldier to you?"

Rachel's head snapped in disagreement, "Do I look like a bar girl to you?"

Quinn laughed at this exchange. 'Miss Saigon' has always been her favorite musical since reading the entire screenplay somewhere, sometime when she was younger. Kim, soon to be Rachel's character, was a bar girl who fell in love with Chris, an American soldier in the middle of Vietnam War. Years after, Chris comes back to Saigon after learning that his war bride was still alive and was raising their son.

In attempt not to drop any spoilers, the ending was tragic and it always made Quinn cry every time she watched small productions in Ohio and LA – no matter how bad the actors were.

"The last time Miss Saigon was done Broadway was in 2001," Quinn fetched the trivia. "It was pretty huge," she added.

Again, all of them turned to Blaine.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"We want you to try for the part," Kurt said as she excitedly grabbed Blaine's hand and shook it.

"I will not get the part anyways," Blaine said. "Actors playing Chris need humungous abs."

Santana chuckled, "Humungous is a bit exaggerated, don't you think? He's not Captain America."

"Come on, Blaine. No one can deny your on-stage chemistry with Rachel!" Brittany offered excitedly.

"Besides, Carla said they're gunning for a non-traditional casting," Santana said rolling her eyes. "You're like the total non-traditional version of a soldier and Berry's like the out-of-this-world, non-traditional version of a bar girl."

This made Kurt laugh.

"Who's in-charge of the casting?" Rachel asked Carla.

"The producer, the director and original Kim," Carla said nonchalantly.

Rachel, Blaine and Kurt's eyes grew wide. "Lea Salonga?" they asked at once in perfect high-pitched voice.

"Lea freaking Salonga? The one who sang the theme song of Mulan and Little Mermaid?" Brittany asked.

Carla nodded in response to everyone's questions, "She's helping with the production. Come rehearsals this November, she will be the one you'll be working with, Ms. Berry."

"Oh, Blaine. You have to audition!"

"I don't even know the schedule of the auditions," Blaine said giving up on his friends' request.

All of them turned to Carla who was smart enough to get the underlying message of their stares.

"I'll text you the details," she said as she smiled.

o-o-o-o-o

An hour after breakfast, Quinn and Rachel found themselves inside Rachel's room, both getting ready to start their day.

Quinn was already dressed in the outfit she came with last night. She was sitting on Rachel's bed checking her Facebook account while Rachel was all over her vanity, getting ready for lunch with the Saigon producers.

Quinn didn't mention it to Rachel but there were certain posts on her wall from her friends, guessing that it was her that Rachel Berry was talking about in her _People _interview. She only adds people she knows personally and these people somewhat knew her high school rivalry with Rachel.

The talk apparently started with a single wall post from none other than Brittany S. Pierce.

Brittany S. Pierce Quinn Fabray

They've built an entire forum supporting you and Rach! I joined 'em! They called it "FaBerry". But I insisted on calling it "RaIn". They didn't agree, though.

Santana Lopez, Blaine Anderson and 23 others like this.

Another wall post went by like this.

Santana Lopez Quinn Fabray

Don't be surprised, Cap. "She was the most beautiful girl in my school at that time" was the giveaway. LOL. Britts and I are planning to tease you here publicly.

Brittany S. Pierce, Puck Puckerman and 10 others like this.

Quinn laughed at this.

Santana was practically right. Rachel didn't mention her name or that she was the head cheerleader but when she mentioned that they were together in Glee club and that she was the most beautiful girl in McKinley that time, it gave people an easy access to finding out who the Mystery Girl is.

People can easily search the net, Google "Ohio 'New Directions'" and photos of their junior and senior year Nationals stint will be all over the results. People can then spot the _most beautiful girl _in Glee club and then assume that she was 'Rachel's girl'. It also didn't help that when you enter "Ohio 'New Directions'", seven of the first 10 results were photos of the Glee club in senior year Nationals would appear; and these photos featured the two of them all over each other. Don't blame them, though – that was like the peak of their unaddressed love situation.

Quinn fought the urge to click the link that Brittany posted on her wall. Although half of her didn't care about what people will say, it was still her name being dragged onto this.

"Have you told your mom?" Rachel asked snapping Quinn out of her thoughts.

Quinn looked up to Rachel and saw her already finished with drying her hair, "Not yet. I'll be calling her later."

Rachel smiled as she walked over to Quinn and sat on her lap. She snaked her arms around Quinn's neck and kissed her. Quinn's arms automatically found Rachel's waist and kissed her back.

"Oh, God. I had long wanted to do that," Rachel smiled on Quinn's lips.

Quinn smiled back, "You ready for the meeting?"

"After that kiss? Yes, I am, ma'am," Rachel said as she cupped Quinn's face with her hands and kissed her again, and again, and again.

"Rach," Quinn giggled I between kisses.

"What?" Rachel said pressing their foreheads together.

"Nothing," Quinn said smilingly.

"What are your plans for the day? Will you be available for dinner?"

"I am available for dinner," Quinn said. "I just have this meeting this afternoon and then I'm free. Sorry I can't be in your rehearsals today."

"I don't have a problem with that. Although I know the staff will be looking for you to confirm that it was you I was talking about in the interview, I'm pretty much sure I can handle them," Rachel said. "Who are you meeting?"

"Hayden's manager. He needs to talk to me about Hayden's upcoming projects. We're trying to reestablish her cheerleader image. Scream 4 was a game-changer," Quinn discussed.

Quinn obviously enjoyed what she just discussed that she didn't notice Rachel's slight frown. The brunette then moved off Quinn's lap and settled beside her.

She and Quinn haven't talked about what they were bound to do with their relationship and they're situation now. She knew Quinn was bound for LA but she hoped that the change in their relationship status would change that.

"When are you planning to fly to LA?" Rachel asked, somewhat afraid of Quinn's answer.

Quinn looked at Rachel and realized where she was leading the conversation.

"I don't know. I'm still weighing my options."

"Do you really like to work with them?"

Quinn thought about it, "Well, I like PR. I could work well with whoever, Hollywood's kinda fascinating and I guess the calling is in there."

Quinn sounded okay but she wasn't oblivious to Rachel's sudden change of mood.

"I'm backing out of Miss Saigon and The Wizards of Oz," Rachel confessed.

_Whew!_

She finally got it out. She had been thinking about it ever since she did that interview with _People_. Of course, Rachel Berry was Rachel Berry. She had mapped out the things she was bound to do depending on the result of her interview.

"Why?" Quinn asked, her face in complete confusion.

Rachel stood and walked over to her closet and got something from one of the drawers. She sat back beside Quinn holding a bunch of paper. She looked tentatively at Quinn and then handed her the stapled pieces of paper.

Quinn took the papers and looked at it, browsed it and…

"This is…" Quinn managed, still not looking up from reading the typed lines on the paper.

"That's the movie project they've been offering me since earlier this year," Rachel said, her voice somewhat sounding lonely.

_For the love of the freaking universe, Rachel Berry loved the stage more than anything else._

"I think it's going to be a good one. Aside from the fact that it's going to feature my overly superb acting skills, I think my leading man's going to be Taylor Lautner," Rachel said.

Quinn was still reading the script.

"I'm planning to sell this apartment, too. I've talked to my agent and he said that there are people who are interested and I'm about to get a good deal. I think I can afford a house LA and maybe we can –"

"Rach, are you sure about this?" Quinn looked up and Rachel saw the tears forming in her girlfriend's eyes.

And no, they weren't tears of pure joy.

Something painful was evident in the way Quinn stared at her.

"I… I don't know," Rachel answered, stuttering a bit.

_Truth is, she wasn't really sure. _For goodness' sake, this is Rachel fucking Berry we're talking about. She loved the stage more than anything else.

But that has changed. She now loves Quinn more than she loved the stage.

"I just… I don't know if I can bear being away from you," Rachel said. Tears welled in her eyes.

Since she was kid, she had always wanted to be in Broadway. She had always been born for the stage and she honestly thinks that the silver screen wasn't for her. She had turned down a lot of good projects because her Broadway career was the world to her.

But this time, it wasn't anymore about her.

She and Quinn just got together after five long years and she wasn't going to lose her again because her _stupid _dreams.

"I love you, Quinn. I don't know if I would survive Hollywood or movies or whatever but I want to be wherever you are. I can't spend another moment of my life without you," Rachel said as her voice trembled. Tears were already streaming down her face.

She didn't know why she was crying. Maybe it's because her own words touched her or if it pained her to think that she was leaving the stage but she was crying because something inside her snapped.

Quinn sighed as tears fell from her eyes.

Was Rachel really willing to give up everything she had worked for just to be with her?

She knew Rachel was serious about her but she didn't know she was _this _serious.

"Rach –"

Rachel met her eyes, "Quinn, I'm scared."

It broke Quinn's heart to see Rachel like this. She knew Rachel. She always loved Rachel's passion for musicals and theater and Broadway.

"Rach, you don't have to do this," Quinn said.

It was true. Rachel didn't have to do it for her.

She didn't want Rachel to leave that stage because it is where one Rachel Berry belongs. She didn't want to be with the Rachel Berry who was only half-hearted about what she was doing. She wanted Rachel to be able to do what she does best because Rachel Berry is not Rachel Berry if she didn't sing show tunes all the time.

"But I want to be with you," Rachel said as she wiped her tears off her cheeks.

"There's a reason I cancelled the trip last week," Quinn said as she also wiped her own tears. "Rach, if I wanted to be in LA so badly, I'm supposed to be in LA right at this moment."

"But your job, it requires you to be in LA. You love being a Publicist and you're amazing at what you do. The industry needs you, Quinn. I don't want to take that away from you."

Quinn cupped Rachel's face with her hands, "Rach, I said I'm still thinking about it."

"I'm with you," Rachel said as she smiled.

Who was Quinn fooling? A large part of her being knew that her decision had long been made the moment she decided to postpone her flight to LA.

_Her _Rachel is the Rachel Berry who always got the New Amsterdam Theater in standing ovation. _Her _Rachel is the Rachel Berry who stars in big musicals and not some low-budgeted chic-flick. _Her _Rachel is the Rachel Berry who will soon star in the revival of Miss Saigon and not in a movie with Taylor Lautner.

_Besides, screw Taylor Lautner. He's hot but there's nothing in the world that Quinn would exchange for hearing Rachel sing "Sun and Moon"._

Was Quinn also jealous with Taylor Lautner?

"Rach, you don't have to quit Broadway," Quinn said looking straight into Rachel's brown eyes. "It's like quitting your other half," Quinn added.

"You _are _my other half," Rachel said.

Quinn rolled her eyes, touched by what Rachel just said, "I don't want you to quit your job, you know why?"

Rachel didn't answer. She got lost in Quinn's hazel eyes.

"You love the stage, Rach. I have loved you for your passion for it," Quinn sincerely said.

"But you –"

"How many times do I have to tell you that there's no choice between me and your career because I only want to be part of our life? I love you, Rach and you said it yourself, I'm good at what I do. I know for sure that even if I don't accept that Nina and Hayden thing, there are NY-based firms who would be dying to get me."

Rachel chuckled, "How about a little humility, Miss Fabray."

"Seriously, Rach. Screw this," Quinn said tossing the bundle of paper behind her. "_My _Rachel is the Rachel who will be rehearsing with Lea Salonga in a few months."

Rachel pouted.

Somehow, it relived her.

Quinn kissed Rachel chastely on the lips and smiled, "Please don't think, even for one second, that I would ever require you to sacrifice your dreams for me."

Rachel kissed her, this time, the kiss deepened. She could feel herself wanting more so she stopped herself and met Quinn's eyes instead, "Whatever your decision may be –"

"I'll tell you about it and we'll cross the bridge when we get there but let's not worry about that right now, okay?"

Rachel nodded.

"Go fix your makeup now. You have a meeting to get to."

Rachel smiled as she stood and walked back to her vanity, "This is crazy. I have the best girlfriend ever."

"You sure have," Quinn agreed as she smiled to herself.

It's been the best morning of her life.

And they've only just begun.

o-o-o-o-o

Lunch meeting with the producers of Miss Saigon was stressful but surprisingly, Carla Henry put on some kind of show defending Rachel and at the same time assuring the producers that Rachel's recent move wouldn't affect the promotion of the show.

Rachel was silent all along, only answering when she was asked. Carla had reminded her that these people weren't pure theater people, they were businessmen, only concerned with their investments. Even though she had wanted to speak for herself, Carla did the talking well. Even Charles didn't feel the need to back Carla up on her defense because Carla Henry sure did have a flare of Quinn Fabray whenever she wanted it.

In the end, they won. The producers finally understood why she shouldn't make a counter-statement. Rachel was thankful because the two-hour discussion was finally over and Carla won the battle for them.

Seriously, these producers exaggerated about the effects of that coming out thing. The entire production of Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time didn't even care about it. It pissed Rachel to some degree but seeing that Carla knew what she was doing, Rachel just settled for watching the entire scene.

Carla even went as far as "If you will force Rachel to make a counter-statement, she wouldn't do the project" and Rachel nearly laughed when she added "Oh, you wouldn't want that because one, the award-winning director you're so fond of favors Rachel as Kim and two, aside from Rachel Berry, who else is there". Seriously, Carla Henry had Quinn's blackmailing tactics.

So, after discussing everything with Carla and Charles, Rachel went home to her apartment and after various levels of self-debate, she found herself sitting in front of her laptop ready to check what the world now thinks about her.

She was nervous. Hell. It wasn't like any of her drunken exposes. Being caught drunk was way, way different from admitting that you're in love with someone of the same sex.

She was terrified to click on her 'Mentions' tab in Twitter but she had to.

In the article, it was mentioned that her verified account has _nearly _a million followers. Oh, what a difference can a single article make? After it came out,the number of her followers ballooned to 1, 000,833.

_ Time to face the music, Rachel._

She was too nervous but then, she clicked it.

o-o-o-o-o

That evening, Quinn sat inside Barbetta, the oldest Italian restaurant in New York.

She and Rachel agreed to have dinner and Quinn practically skipped her way to the restaurant.

To say that Quinn was excited was an understatement. When she and Rachel parted that morning and after that lunch with Hayden Panettiere's manager, Quinn's once undecided mind had been made up.

_Quinn Fabray was staying in New York._

To be with Rachel.

To be with the girl she loved all her life.

It was a hard decision to make especially when Quinn had already watched the all the seasons of Heroes and Vampire Diaries, she had also had seen all Hayden's films and other projects that involved Nina Dobrev. She had already talked to them through the phone and the two were surprisingly nice and she had honestly liked them.

She already had a plan mapped out for Nina and Hayden. She was ready to handle both of them even though they sailed on the extreme opposites of the personality sea. Nina was the more laid back one but has awesome joke timing while Hayden was just a complete, cute dork. It excited her to some degree because those two people weren't like Rachel or anyone she had met in the theater industry.

She was ready to face LA and its irritating weather again. She was ready to live alone and sleep soundly without the disturbing sounds of Santana and Brittany's business. She was all ready to move on and face what was ahead of her.

But that was before Rachel did that freaking interview that changed everything about her.

That interview changed Quinn Fabray's life even though she tried to keep herself so calm about it.

How could one interview put the pieces of her heart back together?

How could one interview fix the once broken-beyond-repair life of Quinn Fabray?

How could one interview mend the wounds that others struggled of mending all their lives?

Quinn wasn't sure of the answers but she was sure of Rachel.

She was sure of her feelings and even though it scared her to feel this way – the same feeling she felt a few years back – she decided to believe in the part of herself that knew how to love.

She chose to believe in the part of herself that knew how to trust and yes, there she was – again – after years of keeping her heart guarded; she's staying in New York because she was giving her heart… for the second time, to the same person.

She sat inside Barbetta with her phone in one hand and her heart on the other.

But Rachel was never late.

Quinn checked her phone once again, for probably the 10th time since she got there, and realized that Rachel was already 23 minutes late.

_Maybe something came up in the theater._

She told herself as she stared at the almost empty glass of water in front of her. She had tried calling her a few minutes ago but Rachel won't pick up. She also tried calling Carla but the girl didn't pick up.

_Maybe something came up in the theater._

"Would you like to order something?" the tall, dark and – somewhat – handsome waiter asked her for the third time.

"I'm still waiting for my friend," Quinn said as she tried to put on a smile and then the waiter left.

One hour.

Two hours.

Two and a half hours passed and that was when Quinn finally convinced herself that Rachel stood her up – on their first ever dinner as a couple.

She stood and smiled sadly at the waiter who was just about to approach her for her order… for the nth time. She gave him a few dollars as tip and left some in the table just for the hassle of the reservation and then looked back at the waiter.

"If someone _still _comes to claim a reservation here, please lie for me? Tell her I didn't come at all," Quinn said with a sad smile and the waiter just replied with an equally sad nod.

She was confused whether or not to feel bad about Rachel's failure to attend their date. Classic Quinn Fabray would be pissed as hell but her other half was worrying.

_ What if something bad happened? What if she got hit by a car or something?_

But why hasn't anyone called her yet?

If something bad happened to her, Carla would have called her in a heartbeat.

Before the cab reached the parameters of The Village, Quinn told the driver to head to East 95th instead.

At that moment, Quinn chose to trust the part of herself that believed in Rachel.

o-o-o-o-o

After a couple of minutes more, Quinn found herself walking towards the door of Rachel's apartment.

She can't help but smile.

She was still pissed and she was still worried but the thought of seeing Rachel and being able to hug and kiss her again excited her.

_Oh yes, Quinn was definitely in love._

Standing in front of the door, Quinn felt and heard movement inside the apartment. It relieved her because she was sure Rachel was inside but it still confused her how Rachel forgot about their dinner. It wasn't a Rachel Berry thing to do.

_Maybe she was too tired._

Quinn sighed contentedly and retrieved the key from under the doormat. Rachel told her that it was for her and she can use it anytime. She could have knocked but then if Rachel was too tired, then Quinn didn't want to disturb her girlfriend.

Opening the door, she slowly stepped inside, walked down the short path from the door and then…

Just like that, Quinn regretted every previous action that brought her there.

"I wish I didn't do it! I regret doing it!"

Quinn stopped on her tracks. Her head felt light or heavy – she wasn't sure. And if only a microphone would be placed near her heart, she was sure everyone would hear it slowly breaking.

To reach the living room of Rachel's apartment, you would have to walk down a short hallway. She stood on the spot just a step away from revealing herself to everyone in the living room – whoever they were.

"Rach, you have to calm down."

She heard somebody say and she was sure it was Kurt.

Quinn was sure she heard Rachel sob.

"If I didn't do it, none of this would have happened!"

This is Rachel. Whether she was singing, talking, rambling or yelling – Quinn knew Rachel's voice.

"There's nothing we can do about it, Ms. Berry. The best thing to do now is to wait for the talks to die and believe me, they would."

Quinn swallowed.

She wasn't sure what they were talking about but she had an idea.

And the idea killed her inside.

Rachel laughed bitterly, "Yeah! And my career would die, too! What was I even thinking! I could have waited for Quinn to trust me again but there I was again, all too smitten – all to in-love that I did something to destroy myself!"

"Hey," Kurt reprimanded gently. "Don't say that like it's such a bad thing. You've got Quinn now."

Then, she heard it, the one thing she never thought she'd hear Rachel say.

"I'm just not sure if she's worth it."

In an instant, Quinn's tears streamed down her cheeks. Her hands trembled and her knees grew weak. She swallowed again and this time, she closed her eyes because every part of her ached at that moment that even swallowing and breathing became so hard to do.

_I'm just not sure if she's worth it._

She clenched her fists to stay alive.

Who was Quinn Fabray to be worth of the damage in Rachel's career?

_I'm just not sure if she's worth it._

Quinn Fabray was just a face behind the spotlight. She was once a popular cheerleader but it only lasted almost just as long as Kim Kardashian's marriage. She was a teenage mom who gave her baby away because she couldn't handle the pressure.

She felt a different pang of pain in her heart.

It was similar to the pain she felt when Rachel pushed her away for the first time but this one is different.

Quinn never thought she'd be hurt as much because of the same fault line; because of the same person… in the same place, on the same ground.

Quinn's tears haven't stopped from falling.

She loved Rachel with all of her but that love wasn't enough for her.

_Love – no matter how great it is, no matter how big you're willing to sacrifice for it – just wouldn't be enough for Rachel._

For some reason, no one in the living room said anything after that – even Rachel.

They said nothing.

Nothing at all.

Nothing that would probably mend what Rachel just said. Nothing that would probably reveal that it was just a prank.

Anything – any word – would have been better but silence ate the hell out of Quinn's entire being. She could have used a distraction for her pain but it was too silent that she didn't have a choice but to listen to the sound of her own heart breaking.

What was there to question?

Rachel said it herself. _Rachel wasn't sure if she was worth it._

Quinn wanted to ask questions. She wanted to ask why, she wanted to know why she was never enough for Rachel but she knew she wasn't ready for the answers.

For the second time, Quinn's heart broke for Rachel Berry – in the same city, on the same ground.

Quinn knew only one thing at that moment: runaway.

So, she stepped back careful not to make anyone notice she was ever there. Maybe she could go back to sleep. _Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe it wasn't real._

But for some reason, like some kind of a sick joke, the wooden tiles which never creaked before chose to creak at that moment.

It freaking creaked in the middle of the intense silence and suddenly, Quinn felt eyes on her.

After mentally cursing the floor, Quinn looked up and saw everyone – Kurt, Blaine, Carla, Charles and _her _Rachel – looking at her with wide-eyes.

She saw Rachel's tears fall all of a sudden and her tears began falling, again, as well.

"Quinn."

There was something in the way Rachel always said her name. Most days, it sounded a lot like love but at that moment there was too much pain – or maybe, that was Quinn's heart calling out her name and telling her not to fall for those beautiful eyes ever again.

Quinn and Rachel's eyes met and that was when Quinn realized it.

They're still on the same ground.

_After all._

_**Just a shout out to joan0md for writing the 500**__**th**__** review! Yay! And thank you for all of you who kept on reviewing this fic! Y'all make my day, each and every time. I know the number is not as big as those other better fics out there, this is enough for me! As long as there are people who keep on reading, I'll keep on writing! *tears**_

_**For the next chapter: Hmmm. A confrontation, maybe. Or not.**_


	48. Chapter 48: Starts and Stops

**A/N: Wow. I don't know how to start. : ) Should I defend myself? Hmmm. Considering how pointed the reviews were, I'm surprised I'm still alive. LOL. Anyway, I still love you all for keeping up and seriously, I thank all of you for loving and hating on that chapter because well, it made me grow up a little bit more.**

**What can I say? I cannot help it if the fluffy stuff doesn't last as long as the angst but it's the way my story goes. I dunno if there are still people who will be reading this but I guess, as I guess, my version of FaBerry is not the way others seemed to define it. As what Nicholas Sparks said once, love and tragedy can never be separated. No matter how true love is and even if it lasts forever, someone's always going to die first. (I hope y'all got what I wanted to say. LOL.) But I'm a sucker for happy endings I just believe that happy endings don't just happen, people achieve it.  
><strong>

**And I guess, I'd let Kurt explain my side.**

**Lastly, a sincere, heartfelt THANK YOU to those who aren't giving up on this story (if there still are)! I can NEVER thank you enough. T.T**

* * *

><p>"Quinn," Rachel called, her voice was shaky because of the tears. "I can –"<p>

"Don't," Quinn said flatly.

Quinn felt weak on the knees and she didn't know what to feel so she just shook her head secretly telling – begging – Rachel not to break her any more. She took another step back and then turned on her heels and ran away.

_At that moment, it was the only choice left to do._

Rachel stood there, dumbfounded and shocked at everything that happened and everything that she… said.

What did she say anyway?

**Rachel Berry comes out: Is this a publicity stint?**

**No more Berry Madness, just gay-ness**

**Rachel Berry comes… out?**

**Activist appeal to ban 'Lilibeth'**

**Rachel Berry – A Bad Example?**

**Broadway star comes out; how will it affect her career?**

**Small town girl turned big city dyke**

**NGOs petition to ban promos of Berry's shows on schools**

**She kissed a girl and liked it**

**What was she thinking?**

**A Career Bound To Sink Down Below**

These were just few of the millions of words swimming in her head before she heard the floor creak and saw a broken Quinn Fabray.

When she read her Mentions on Twitter, her fans were supportive. They've Tweeted how much they're proud of her and how much they wish for her to get the girl and be happy together. It seemed unreal how lucky she got because she felt her fans behind her.

She was almost going to believe that it was all okay until she came across this article that talked so much about how she didn't need this move for her already-surging career and that she should have stayed in the closet just until she got around five Tony's or more.

She also read a few articles that gay-bashed her and somehow, she felt like she knew how Kurt felt way back in senior year.

Suddenly, all the words swarmed in her head attacking her like furious zombies ready to eat the life out of her.

She felt numb and yes, she was knew it will come but still, seeing your dreams crash in front of you wasn't a good sight especially when it was all you've ever wanted your whole life.

Or maybe, her dreams weren't crashing; maybe it was just a little shaky and unstable.

She wasn't sure.

Right at that moment, she just watched as Quinn disappeared out of the door.

She wanted to follow her but she can't.

What should she say?

She hasn't even absorbed it for herself; it would be unfair to follow Quinn and explain something she hasn't understood herself.

She looked at Kurt and that was all Kurt needed. After giving Rachel a small smile and a squeeze on the hand to reassure her that it was all going to be okay, Kurt quickly made his way out.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn ran out of the building on a quick pace.

She was hurt but the chilly air dried her tears. It was late and nobody else was walking down East 95 Street making Quinn feel all alone.

After a few more steps and few more weak sighs, Quinn heard someone call her name.

"Quinn!" she was sure it was Kurt.

She quickened her pace. She didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment.

"Quinn, stop! Talk to me!" his voice was usually small but right at that moment, it sounded mad and desperate. It scared Quinn a bit because she knew Kurt was ready for a confrontation. It also didn't help that his voice seemed closer than it was when he first called her.

"Quinn if you do this, you'll both lose each other forever!"

Quinn went into a full stop.

She was mad. She was hurt. She was in pain but she didn't want _that_.

While she was in the elevator, she punched a text to Santana telling her to pick her up. Maybe, the Latina would arrive just in time to save her from Kurt.

Kurt caught up to her and Quinn knew only one thing.

She turned to Kurt with a well-put HBIC look on her face, "What do you want, Kurt?"

Panting, Kurt met Quinn's eyes and that's when Quinn got convinced that Kurt was about to slap her with some harsh reality, "I want you to put your shit together, Fabray."

"Go tell your friend to put her shit together," Quinn shot back. She tried to make it sound like she was tough, like she was Head Cheerleader Quinn Fabray again. She knew Kurt wouldn't buy it but it was her refuge to stop herself from crying.

"My friend is your girlfriend, Quinn," Kurt said now learning to breathe all over again.

Quinn didn't say anything.

She might have heard some hurtful things but two truths were still apparent: Rachel is still her girlfriend and she still loves her.

"Quinn, I don't understand why you are running away!" Kurt yelled hopelessly.

"Are you kidding me, Kurt?" Quinn asked in disbelief. "You heard what she said. You were there! She said she wasn't sure if I'm worth it!"

"Then prove her you _are _worth it!" Kurt shot back. Even if it was a little dark, Quinn was sure he was turning red. The last time she heard Kurt shout this was when he got pissed off with Mr. Schue back in Glee's Britney Spears era.

Kurt rubbed his face with both of his hands trying to ease out the anger building inside him. After doing so, he looked back straight into Quinn's eyes and said, "With what you're doing right now, you're just giving her a reason to believe that you're not worth it."

Suddenly, there was a mix of emotions inside her.

Should she be mad with what Kurt said?

Should she be mad that he was probably right?

Instead of confronting Rachel about it, here she was again, running away.

She was hurt yes, but was it a reason enough to turn her back on Rachel?

Luckily for Quinn, a cab pulled over in front of them. Santana got out of it with that confused look on her face.

She wasn't sure how the Latina got here _that fast _but she was thankful for her always awesome timing. Maybe she could save her now.

"What's going on?" Santana asked looking at Kurt, protectiveness obvious in her tone.

Kurt rolled his eyes and said, "Please, Santana stay out of this. This is between Rachel and Quinn."

_Bam. _No one tells Santana to stay out of anything.

"Wait. This is about Rachel and Quinn and I should stay out of it and you won't?" there it was. Santana's warm up tone before going all-Lima Heights.

"Let's go, San," Quinn summoned trying to ease the tension.

"For goodness sake Santana, grow up!" Kurt yelled as his bangs went all disheveled from its neat state. When Kurt didn't mind it one bit, Quinn had been sure that Santana and Kurt were about to have a smackdown.

"Grow up? I just came here and you're the one who told me to stay out of it without even briefing me about what's happening," Santana said surprisingly calm.

Kurt shook his head ignoring Santana as he turned to Quinn and again, that look in his eyes was back.

"You know she didn't mean what she said, right?" Kurt asked in a low voice.

Did she believe what Rachel said?

Did she really believe that?

She didn't know because she might have heard a piece of the conversation but she still doesn't know the whole story.

"Oh, fuck. The midget did again, didn't she, Q!" now, Santana was on level two of her all-Lima Heights warm up.

In sheer annoyance, Kurt turned to Santana and Quinn witnessed something she never thought she would, "Will you shut up Santana? Quinn and I trying to talk here so, please, just for one moment shut your fucking mouth."

Quinn's jaws dropped.

Santana was surprised but like she said in senior year, she was raised in insults. She always knew how to handle this, "Oh, no, Kurt. You didn't just tell me to shut my fucking mouth."

Kurt nodded incessantly, "Yes, I did Santana. And for the record, I don't have anything against you and Quinn's friendship and I really admire you for everything that you've done for her but this, this whole tolerance thing? It's sickening and utterly pointless Santana!"

Kurt was yelling at Santana.

Kurt Hummel was yelling at Santana Lopez.

The world has turned upside down.

"If you want Quinn to learn to stand up for herself, you should stop tolerating her when she runs away like this. I'm sorry Lopez but you raised her wrong!"

None of them said anything for a while and Kurt took this as an opportunity to turn to Quinn.

Kurt took calming breaths and then said, "Quinn, she needs you."

Maybe she just imagined it but she was sure about how Kurt's voice broke mid-sentence. His eyes were suddenly teary and Quinn knew he was breaking inside.

He and Rachel might just have reconnected but Kurt and Rachel always shared a timeless friendship. Kurt would always have Rachel's back no matter how old they already are. Kurt and Rachel were like Quinn and Santana – their friendship worked in a dysfunctional way but it will always survive. Always.

"I will only say this once, Quinn so listen to me," Kurt said holding Quinn's gaze with him. "I am sick of you playing the victim card, Quinn. In high school when you got pregnant, when you fell off the social pyramid. Yes, at some point you were the victim but not for long. All of what has happened in your life happened because of the decisions you made."

It always hurt whenever the past was brought up.

"Quinn, if there was one person here that should understand Rachel, it should be you!" Kurt but again shouted, this time with conviction and emphasis. "One, because you are her girlfriend and two because you exactly know how it feels to watch your dreams slowly crash in front of you because of the decisions you made. You knew it was a risk to take when you came to Puck, you knew it was a risk to come for Rachel but you all did and it somehow fired back to you but you have to admit that while you were into it, you didn't care for one moment because you wanted to release everything you felt inside."

Quinn swallowed.

If Brittany was occasionally possessed by the spirit of Nicholas Sparks, Quinn was sure Kurt was possessed by Dr. Phil's at that moment.

"That's what Rachel did, Quinn. And right now, she is suffering from the repercussions of it and what does her girlfriend do? Run? Believe what she said when she was so mad and confused? We both know that Rachel says things she doesn't mean when she's on a state of fury."

Kurt still wasn't calm but he wasn't as furious as he was a few moments ago.

Kurt chuckled bitterly, "Quinn Fabray, did you really think that it's all going to be rainbows and butterflies after you got together; after Rachel came out?"

Quinn glanced at Santana. There was hurt in her eyes and she was clenching her fists to control herself from jumping and killing Kurt at that moment.

"Well, newsflash? This is not a freaking fairy tale, Quinn! I'm sorry to break it to you but you're not the only people in this world and the universe will not stop turning even if you died right now!"

She needs to say something.

"Kurt, please."

"Please, what?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "Stop talking and just let you live another lie. Well I'm not going to do that. I know, Santana and Brittany have been on your side for the longest while but for a change, I'm going to give you a dose of someone who is on Rachel's side for a change."

He sighed and then continued, "I'm disappointed in you. That Rachel up there," he pointed his finger up somewhere in the direction of Rachel's apartment, "She's having hard time dealing with everything right now."

"Quinn, Rachel's never going to change!" he yelled, again.

It was cold and harsh truth.

Somehow, she always knew this.

"It's always going to be this way with Rachel! It's always going to be hard! Because face it, Rachel wants too much of everything! It is not easy to love Rachel, to stay with Rachel because she's always going to have too much dreams! It's never going to be easy! Do not think for one second that after she told you she loved you, you both will walk a pathway full of flowers and enjoy a sunset at the end of the day. It will be a constant battle down the road, Fabray!"

Quinn's tears started falling.

"If you really love Rachel, you have to love her in spite of and despite of this because this is part of who she is. She's always going to be hard. She's always going to be scared but that's the reason why she needs you, Quinn. She needs someone who will believe in who she really is during the times she loses it; at times like this, Quinn."

Kurt's tears started falling as well.

"What happened to Rachel up there is an initial gay panic. It happened to me a couple of times after I came out. I almost regretted it. I almost thought that being true to myself wasn't worth every slushie I got but I survived because Glee club was there. I had an incredibly strong support system and right now, Quinn… Rachel doesn't have that."

This is the part where Quinn's tears turned into sobs.

"Quinn, she is not just a Broadway star who got criticized about her real self. She is Rachel Berry. She is _our_... Rachel Berry."

The emphasis in the word "our" made Quinn realize what Kurt was trying to say.

"She is _our _Rachel Berry who struggled all her life trying to fit in. She is _our _Rachel Berry who spent all her high school life with people trying to make her believe she wasn't good enough to belong to a society that accepts her. She is _our _Rachel Berry who climbed and got wounded all the way to the top. How do you think she feels right now seeing and feeling that everything she worked for all these years are suddenly falling apart?"

Kurt's tears silently fell in the middle of his frustration. "Quinn, she's crazy about you," Kurt said with his voice back to normal.

"But you have to understand that this Rachel we're talking about is Ms. Big Dreams Rachel Berry. When you decided to say yes when she asked you to be her girlfriend, I hope you realized that you're not entering a relationship with the Rachel Berry you fell in love with five years ago."

Quinn swallowed for the nth time.

"That Rachel Berry has long been gone and this, the one you just ran away from is the person who has a huge career in her hands. She's always going to panic. She's always going to say hurtful things when she's mad but she loves you."

For the first time since Kurt started his speech, he looked away and sighed.

"Do not face Rachel if you aren't sure if you're willing to do this with _this _dysfunctional Rachel Berry because as much as you don't deserve someone who will turn your back on you after everything you've done, Rachel doesn't deserve someone who will give up on her."

That and Kurt turned his back and started walking away but before disappearing back into the building, he turned to Quinn and said, "Despite everything that Rachel is, she loves you and please, for a change, choose to make love enough for both of you. And yes Quinn, people need love even when they least deserve it."

o-o-o-o-o

When the elevator reached the floor of Rachel's unit, Kurt saw Rachel sitting beside her half-open door with her arms around her legs and face to her knees.

When the diva heard footsteps approaching, it broke her apart because she knew it wasn't Quinn.

She looked up and met Kurt's eyes, "Where is she?"

"She went probably went home."

"Did I say something wrong?"

Kurt nodded.

"I didn't mean it."

"I know."

Rachel sighed.

Kurt looked at her friend and she never pitied the girl more than she pitied her right now. Her tears won't stop falling and she looked torn and distraught.

"Let's get you inside now."

"I hurt her."

"Yes but she'll come around."

There was complete silence until the elevator across the room beeped signaling that someone was boarding off it. Rachel's head snapped to its direction and she was hopeful that a certain blonde would come out it.

When it opened, there was indeed a blonde but it wasn't Quinn.

It was one of her three neighbors.

"Give her space," Kurt said as he reached out his hand to help Rachel up.

"Until when?"

Kurt shrug, "You also have to keep your shit together, Rach. I'm sorry about the language but there's no other way of putting it."

Rachel sighed.

"But don't wait until she really believes that she wasn't worth it."

Rachel swallowed, "When I saw her looking broken as ever, it reminded me that she is worth it."

"You're confusing me but I'm trying my best to understand you."

"I broke her again didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. But we have more pressing issues right now."

"Is there an issue more pressing than my relationship with Quinn?"

"Gah!" Kurt huffed jokingly. "This is what I was talking about. I don't even know what Quinn found in you."

"Hey!"

Kurt laughed.

Rachel smiled.

"It's going to be okay, Rach. You just have to sort things out with her but first, you have to sort things out for yourself. I hated yelling at Quinn, you know."

"You yelled at her?" Rachel said finally taking Kurt's hand and stood up.

"There's only one way to get Quinn Fabray to listen. We both know that," Kurt said.

"Did she stomp her foot?" Rachel asked.

"God, you're so in love with her."

"I am."

"Rach," Kurt's voice suddenly went serious from casual. "You and Quinn are special together. Please, don't make a foolish decision of letting her go. Get your shit together and be deserving of her."

Rachel smiled.

"Fear is the enemy, Rachel Berry."

"Yeah and Santana Lopez."

Kurt chuckled, "Don't worry about her. She found her match."

"You didn't!"

"I can't help it."

"Oh my God, Kurt! You should probably write a farewell note to your family and Blaine because you might be dead soon."

Kurt shook his head proudly, "She wouldn't. She may hate me for criticizing the friend she was to Quinn but Santana won't kill me for articulating the words she had been dying to say."

Rachel smiled, "Thank you, Kurt."

"Team Berry!"

That and Rachel pulled Kurt into a hug. After a few seconds, she started sobbing.

"Did I just lose Quinn?"

"No."

Rachel just continued to sob.

"Rach, look at me," Kurt said as he brought Rachel's chin up so that their eyes would meet. "It's going to be hard but you have to reassure Quinn where she stands in your life. Like, really assure her because girls like her need security. She'd been deprived of assurance all her life and people in her life come and go, including you at some point."

"Will it always be this way?"

"Maybe not as dramatic as this but it isn't going to be easy. Nobody said it was going to be easy but you and Quinn are awesome together. Quinn would somehow always be that insecure bitch was and you're always going to be you... well, you know what you are. But even though it's as impossible as mixing oil with water, you have to try hard to make it work somehow. That is how relationships work, Rach."

"Maybe, I should call Brittany and ask her about life insights. She's better at this," Rachel said as she smiled sadly.

Kurt shook his head, "Quinn needs her more right now."

"I really didn't mean it, Kurt."

"I know and somewhere in Quinn's heart I know she knows that, too."

Rachel just nodded as Kurt led her back inside her apartment. Kurt stayed the night just beside Rachel who literally cried herself to sleep.

o-o-o-o-o

Meanwhile, hours after Quinn and Santana got home, Quinn still hasn't said anything.

It was when Brittany got home later that night that Santana knew about what happened. Kurt called Brittany and gave her a heads up about what happened. Santana and Brittany talked quietly in the kitchen while Quinn sat silently in the living room – not crying, in fact, no expression at all.

Ice Queen.

"I may hate her for the life of me but I know Berry. She wouldn't do anything if she didn't think it would be worth it."

Brittany nodded sadly, "She was just mad. When she's not drinking, she's talking non-stop and when she does, she says something she regrets."

Santana sighed heavily. It was understatement to say that seeing Quinn like that again had depressed her. Brittany ran her hand on Santana's arm to comfort her. Brittany knew how much it affected her wife, "I'm happy you didn't kill Kurt after what he said to you."

"Believe me, I wanted to but he was saying to Quinn were right and Quinn was listening to him."

"Quinn needs to put it together."

"You're blaming Quinn for this, too?"

"No, baby," Brittany said. "I will not blame Baby Q because I know her but she has to be strong. San, we are her best friends but we can't help her if she will not help herself and that goes for Rachel, too. They're just learning how a real relationship works."

"How awesome are you?" Santana managed as small smile as she kissed Brittany gently.

Their moment was broken when a sound of barfing echoed across their apartment.

And that was when Santana's tears welled instantly, "Shit."

Brittany ran instantly to the bathroom and saw Quinn throwing up while Santana's whole body froze.

It was when she was alone that her tears fell. She always feared that sound. She always hated approaching where that sound came from. One of the hardest parts of her life aside from being away from Brittany was during those moments that she made her way to a broken Quinn Fabray, throwing everything up.

She didn't know if she can face it again without breaking down.

Santana had always believed that this isn't a story of Quinn and Rachel's love story but the story of the friendship she shared with Quinn.

Kurt might be right about the way Santana raised Quinn. She tolerated her most of the time. She could have acted tough to cause Quinn to be tough as well but she didn't.

Kurt might be right in some way but she wouldn't accept it because no one – not even Kurt Hummel – could define how her friendship with Quinn worked. Santana Lopez loved that way: even if it was terribly wrong, even if Quinn's pain became wholly unreasonable at some point in their lives, Santana stood by her.

She sniffed for one last time as she sighed and toughened herself up. She walked over to Brittany who was holding Quinn's hair up as the broken blonde continued to throw up. She saw Brittany with silent tears trying hard not to make Quinn notice.

Santana smiled sadly again, her tears formed behind her eyes. She wanted to cry but no, Quinn needs her; Brittany needs her.

It broke her apart – the little sobs that came in between the barfing.

She saw Brittany wipe the tears off her face but her wife's tears continued to fall. Brittany looked at her and her heart broke even more. Santana gave Brittany a nod assuring her that it'll be okay soon. But soon as Brittany knelt beside Quinn and hugged her, Santana's once well-kept tears fell rapidly.

"Q... please, stop," Brittany said in a small and defeated voice as she hugged Quinn from the back while still holding her hair up.

"I'm sorry," Quinn managed to say in between the barfing and the crying.

Santana then moved and held Brittany's hand that was holding Quinn's hair up. "Go get a towel and some water, B. Baby Q needs to get cleaned," Santana said trying to make it okay for the two blondes.

Brittany wiped her own tears and nodded. She got Santana's message to be strong and she knew she just had to, for Quinn.

Once the other blonde was gone, Santana started soothing Quinn's back by drawing random patterns on it with her hand.

"Just like how we do it, Q. Breathe in."

Quinn did what she was told.

"Breathe out."

And again, Quinn did what she was told.

After repeatedly taking calming breaths in and out, the barfing slowed down until only little coughs came and sobs. Brittany came back with a towel, a huge bowl of warm water and a glass of water. After putting all her supplies down, the blonde took a ponytail band from her pocket and started pulling Quinn's hair up.

"You have to put this on just in case you throw up when San and I are not around," Brittany said.

Santana just looked at Brittany. This was definitely one of the other blonde's ways of telling Quinn to help herself.

"Thank you, B," Quinn said weakly.

Santana then grabbed the towel and the plastic basin of warm water as she started cleaning Quinn's face up as Brittany handed Quinn the bottle of water.

Santana smiled to herself in the middle of all of this.

Yes, Quinn was going through something... again for the nth time but at least, Santana wasn't the only one she had. She had Brittany, too. And maybe, just maybe, it will be easier this time.

An hour later, the three of them sat silently on the sofa with Quinn in between. The brokenhearted girl's head was on Santana's shoulder and her hand was locked with Brittany's.

"Do you remember the dodge ball game we played in senior year against Sugar's Troubletones?" Brittany asked as Quinn and Santana chuckled at the same time.

"That was awesome," Santana said. "I remember hitting Finn even if we were on the same team."

"And I hit Sugar on the face," Quinn said laughingly. "She hit Rachel on the nose. I was so mad."

Brittany and Santana exchanged looks not knowing how to react.

"Come on, we can talk about her. It's not like her name is banned from now on," Quinn said knowing about her friends' internal debate.

"How can you not hit her nose? It's everywhere," Santana said as Brittany and Quinn laughed.

"Baby Q, you laughed," Brittany said as she smiled at Quinn.

"It was a funny memory," Quinn said as she smiled back.

A few seconds of silence and then, Quinn stood up and faced the TV resting on the rack just across the sofa they were sitting on.

Quinn was looking at it like it could talk to her.

Santana just observed.

Brittany just looked at her.

The moment Quinn held on to the sides of the flat screen TV, it clicked.

"Q! No!" Santana shouted.

"That's expensive, Q!"

The couple stood up as fast as they can and stopped Quinn from throwing the TV across the room.

Quinn wasn't a violent person but sometimes, when she gets upset, her outlet – aside from throwing up – was throwing things.

"The toaster?"

Santana looked at Brittany with horror on her face.

Brittany shrugged, "We got around five toasters for our wedding."

That and Quinn ran to the kitchen.

"Brit!"

"San!" Brittany called back, thrilled. "She's reacting! It's like she just woke up from the coma. It's healthier for Quinn to be angry than to be repressed. If she starts accepting that she's in fury, she'd stop throwing up in a matter of time."

"And all of our things would be gone, too!"

"She's the one who bought these anyway!"

And then, they heard the loud sound of the poor toasted being slammed against wall. Both Santana and Brittany grimaced as Quinn walked out of the kitchen with a frown as she stomped her foot. "That didn't feel good."

Brittany smiled at this.

Santana rolled her eyes, "I loved that toaster, Q!"

Quinn shrugged as she smiled playfully, "You have five toasters anyway." The blonde then turned to Brittany, "Any better suggestions, B?"

Brittany smiled mischievously as an idea crossed her mind. She then walked over to Quinn and whispered about her plan. Quinn seemed to like the plan as the two blondes ran inside Santana and Brittany's room.

It was when they came out that Santana knew she was going to die or wake up with amnesia.

Quinn and Brittany slowly walked out of the room with HUGE pillows in their hands. It's the life-size pillows that Santana bought for Quinn and now, they found another way to use it.

"Oh, God, no," Santana said as she stepped back and just like that the two blondes came running after her around the house, ready to hit her with the pillows anytime she stopped running.

Santana was laughing as she ran and she could also hear Quinn and Brittany laughing, too. The Latina was good at trying not to be cornered but Quinn wasn't former head Cheerio for nothing and Brittany wasn't a good dancer if she didn't know how move fast.

After a few minutes of chasing, Santana found herself cornered by the two blondes with killer smiles on their faces. Oh God, she was going to be pillow murdered.

"You ready, Quinn?" Brittany asked as the blonde in question just nodded.

"On three?"

Quinn just nodded.

"Wait, we can talk about this, right?" Santana pleaded playfully. She tried but she knew there's no stopping her two friends.

"One," Brittany started as they stepped closer.

Santana's hands were spread to the sides in effort to keep the two away.

"Two," Brittany counted.

"Oh, God. I wish I didn't teach you how to count!" Santana joked as she dejectedly put her hands up to cover her head and face and when Brittany counted, "Three," Santana dropped to the floor in a fetal position as the two attacked her with the giant pillows.

In the middle of being assaulted by huge pillows, Santana laughed to herself.

At least, this time, there was a sign that Quinn wouldn't sink back to whatever they went through before.

_Oh, God. Thank you for my wife._

o-o-o-o-o

Kurt was right.

It was just an initial shock.

It was just one of the many things she and Quinn would go through as their relationship moves on.

Rachel woke up that morning with a heavy feeling. Her head was pounding because she had been crying all night and her eyes hurt but she needed to talk to Quinn. She needed to talk to her girlfriend because that's what partners do.

After going through her morning routine and after watching Kurt go, Rachel was ready to talk to Quinn and make it up to her.

She knew there wasn't a good explanation for her recent actions but she wanted to tell Quinn, just so she knows, that she doesn't regret it. That she was just in shock. That she was just human and she can feel things and get hurt.

She wanted to be that person that Quinn made her – the brave one. But she can't do it without the blonde.

Brittany and Santana's morning greeting also helped her decide that she shouldn't let another day pass without talking to Quinn.

_**Good morning, Ray. *smiles I heard what happened and I hope you're okay. Don't worry about Quinn, Dr. Sanny is doing a good job on her. And Rach? Sometimes, people run away just to see who comes after them. : ) Go after her, Rach. We've come this far.**_

_**U and Q need to get your fuckng shit 2gether Berry. Believe me, if I wer Q I wud hv given up on u! It's wholly grueling to love u. Don't test her limits rupaul. Go get ur ass out der. Save this message bcoz it's the only time I'd be begging you. PLEASE. STOP HURTING Q.**_

She was already scrambling to get her keys inside her bag as she approached the door. She opened it and before she knew it, she bumped into someone.

She looked up and before she even mouthed an automatic "Sorry", she saw Quinn standing there. She was good at keeping her balance though because she was able to keep herself steady despite having cups of coffee in one hand and a stack of news papers on the other.

"Quinn," Rachel managed.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked coldly. "Carla told me you bailed out of all your appointments today. I thought you were sick," she added.

"I was..." Rachel mumbled. "I was about to go to your apartment."

"For me?"

"Of course, for you," Rachel said.

"Well, I'm here. I suppose you'd a like a change of plans and stay here instead?" Quinn said as she smiled.

Rachel sighed in relief.

Everything was going to be alright.

"Quinn, I – "

"We'll talk about that, Rachel, later. I bought coffee," Quinn said as she shrugged.

Rachel smiled.

She has the best girlfriend, ever.

"And I bought newspapers and magazines, too. We're gonna read all of them, Rach and we're gonna laugh at how poorly written they are," Quinn said giving Rachel a reassuring smile.

At that, Rachel smiled her mega-watt smile.

Everything was going to be alright.

"Yeah, but first," Rachel said as she leaned into Quinn for a kiss.

Quinn leaned forward as well but pulled away just as Rachel expected the kiss.

Rachel opened her eyes and acted disappointed, "Quinn!"

"You can get your kiss later."

"That was mean."

"You're the one to talk."

"I love you," Rachel said.

It wasn't a question but she wanted an answer.

She wanted to hear it back from Quinn.

She needed to hear it back from Quinn.

"I love you, Rach," Quinn said as she smiled and made her way inside Rachel's apartment. "But we have a lot to talk about."

Rachel nodded as she smiled to herself.

_Everything was going to be alright._

_ She has the best girlfriend, ever._

As she and Quinn made their way inside the apartment, the lines of a popular movie echoed in her brain and she somehow related it to her own.

_This isn't a love story. It's a story of love._

* * *

><p><em><strong>The last part was from 500 Days of Summer.<strong>_

_**For the next chapter: A much needed talk. **_

_**And the beginning of the end... of the story. : )  
><strong>_


	49. Chapter 49: Baby Steps

**A/N: This is the part where I would say, THANK YOU – for understanding and for still keeping up with this story; seriously, I thought no one would read this one anymore after that twist in the story. I'm really thankful that you guys understand! You are the most amazing readers ever.**

**And yeah, I guess the one thing I really want to impart in this part of the story is that, a love story doesn't end when they finally get together like those clichés in movies and stuff. Personally, I believe that the story starts the moment you say 'yes'. And that's where this story is going now – the things, the stages that a relationship goes through; FaBerry has that, too.**

**So here's another chapter.**

* * *

><p>Soon as they sat on Rachel's couch, they cuddled for the next few hours just reading all the newspapers and magazines that Quinn brought in. They also browsed online articles and read all the articles they could.<p>

It was information overload for Rachel. There were really mean ones – like those articles that talked about her upbringing and those articles that actually talked how she has fallen over to the dark side. But the ones that hurt the most were the articles that said that she was a disgrace to the theater industry, that she didn't deserve the praise she was getting because she wasn't setting a good example for the society. There were various times she kept her tears from falling afraid that it would scare Quinn away.

When she decided to jump into that decision of doing the interview, she didn't know it was going to be this way; that people were going to be this mean.

In between all the reading, she glanced at Quinn who hasn't spoken a word since they started reading stuff and realized that Quinn was just there, silently laughing at every badly written article or grimacing at the mean ones – all this time just holding Rachel's hand and squeezing it every time she realized that Rachel tensed at anything she had read.

Although her vision was slightly clouded by her unshed tears, she stared at Quinn and again, it took her back to that very first moment she laid eyes on her in freshman high school. She had been in love with her since then although she never acted on it and the longer she stared at Quinn, the more she was reminded why she fell in love with the blonde.

Quinn has her own way of making Rachel feel special, in a way that not even a thousand of fans can do. The way she looked at her, the way she held her hand and even just in the way of saying her name – Quinn has this amazing way of making Rachel feel like she mattered.

And as she stared at Quinn, she felt as if her tears made its way back to her eyes because again, she felt safe around Quinn; like no one could hurt her, like no one can ever make her feel inferior.

"Quinn," Rachel said finally breaking the silence that embraced them for a full hour and a half.

Quinn turned to her and smiled. Finally, Rachel felt that Quinn wasn't all that aloof anymore.

"I'm sorry," she said under her breath.

Quinn turned to her and put a hand on her cheek, "Rach, you don't have to –"

"Seriously, Quinn," Rachel cut her off as she took Quinn's hand and cupped in with both of hers. "I'm sorry for not being the person you deserve to have."

Rachel's voice was trembling. She felt guilty not just because of last night's incidents but for all of those incidents that were just bound to come.

"I'm no Finn, Puck, Sam and all those other guys you dated. Aside from the fact that you can be with them without the world caring about it, I know I'm not easy to be with. I can never give you a life without a single drama. Believe me, I want that for us," Rachel said as her tears threatened her eyes.

"Quinn, I love you and seriously, I cannot see my future without you and my little Quinns but I cannot promise an easy life. I want you, Quinn, in my life... everyday for the rest of my life and trust me, I'm trying."

Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes and saw Quinn's tears building up, too.

"I cried myself to sleep because I felt bad of how I reacted. I felt bad because I didn't tell you. I felt bad because I hurt you again and most of all, I felt bad because I know I can never deserve you. I don't deserve you, Quinn but I want to deserve you. I want to prove to you that I am worth the second chance you gave me. But I don't know where to start."

This was the part that Rachel's tears fell. She didn't want to cry but her own words broke her.

"Rach –"

"Do you know how much guilt I have been feeling since you came back to my life? It's been eating the life out of me, Quinn. Here you are with your new self and you have changed a lot and matured a lot. You didn't even hate me after everything I've done yet, here I am, still the same old Rachel Berry you tried to send on her way a few years back. You're this amazing girl that anyone would be proud to tell the world about and yet you're in love with me –someone who doesn't care about anything but herself."

Rachel kissed the top of Quinn's hand that she had been holding.

"I'm sorry that it's not going to be easy, Quinn."

Quinn just smiled sadly.

"Last night, I didn't know what I was saying. I was trying to candy-coat my insecurities by pointing at other people and I pointed at you. It's wrong I know but I didn't mean it. You are amazing, Quinn. Truth is, I trust you but I don't trust me. I am the root of the problem. I am the one who will always be hard because the stupid lights of New York has blinded me to some extent but Quinn, somehow, like a sick joke, you came to me this morning willing to fix everything. That's when the spell wore off. And I realized that while we are working on this relationship, I have to work on me, too."

Quinn just nodded, "I'm with you."

"I know it's hard to love me. I spent the last five years trying to love myself."

"It's not hard to love you. It's a little challenging but there's nothing Quinn Fabray cannot handle," Quinn said as she smiled but her tears fell as well.

"I want to be with you, Quinn and if that means having to change anything about myself and my attitude, I would."

"You're fine this way, Rach."

"No, I'm not. Look at you. You're perfect."

"I'm not. I have issues, too and I'm constantly working on them."

"You're perfect to me."

"You are, too."

Without letting go of Quinn's hand, Rachel moved off the couch and knelt in front of Quinn who was a little surprised by the action as she looked down on Rachel.

"Quinn, I cannot go to church with you or do normal relationship stuff like any of your boyfriends. I drink a lot when I get upset. I have a dusty Tanakh somewhere in this apartment that I just read when I need help. I yell a lot. I demand a lot and I tend to be selfish for the most part. I know... I know there's a lot to change about me but you make me want to be a better person."

Quinn's tears fell even more.

"When I get drunk, I sing Taylor Swift songs and when I get pressured I tend to ramble a lot. I have a huge nose and an enormous ego. I am clingy and I have each and every characteristic that could possibly annoy you and I know, I have failed so many times at loving you but Quinn, I'm trying," Rachel said as she kissed Quinn's hand again.

"You keep me together, Quinn Fabray," Rachel said under her breath. Her tears continued to stream down her face as she looked into Quinn's eyes. "And I know, I don't give you enough reasons but please," Rachel paused as she swallowed, "don't give up on me."

This is where Quinn's defenses broke down. She pulled Rachel up on her lap and hugged her for dear life.

_God! She's so adorable._

Rachel hugged her back although she was just hugging Quinn's head and she felt the blonde shake her head. Quinn pulled away and Rachel just rested her arms around Quinn's neck as Quinn laced her arms around Rachel's waist.

Seriously, this was becoming Rachel's favorite setup.

"You're annoying. You talk a lot, demand a lot. You sometimes say words that are out of this world and you tend to be selfish all the time. Not to mention you are very high-maintenance and you always watch Funny Girl and Rent about 10 times a month. You love listening to music that makes me want to fall asleep and you keep me away from my precious bacon. You also drive in a way that could kill you and whoever the person you are with. You also wake up at 6 am, which by the way is too early for me and you make weird noises when you are brushing your teeth. When you get sentimental, you like to sing sad songs and cry for no apparent reason. Your nose is huge and you talk like you're actually giving machine guns a run for their money."

Rachel pouted.

"I would hate all of these things if the person who owned these traits wasn't Rachel Berry. But the awesome truth is that, _you are_ those things. And I love you, because of and in spite of those things. You are not _my_ Rachel Berry if you didn't have those characteristics."

Then, Rachel smiled as she wiped the tears off Quinn's face.

Quinn brought up her hands and wiped Rachel's tears off before cupping her face, "To top that, you are the best singer-actress I know. You blow me away every time you get on that stage. You make my heart skip a beat every time you smile at me. You make my knees feel weak every time you come around. You make me feel special without even knowing it. You're sweet. You're spontaneous. You're romantic. And I could go on all day saying everything I love about you but it wouldn't even summarize how amazing I think you are."

Rachel smiled and said, "You glare at me like you're going to kill me. You are sharp most of the time. You are clingy when you're asleep. You watch gross videos on YouTube. You eat meat. You like to watch Casper every once in a while not to mention Alice in Wonderland and Lassie. You like dogs. You like cats."

Rachel pinched Quinn's node and then continued, "You are so in love with the world. You're amazing at anything you set your heart into. You are so beautiful that you literally take my breath away. You are mean because every time you step inside a room, you make other girls look bad. When you look at me, I melt. When you say my name, I hear love. You are patient. You are generous. You are perfect, Quinn and there's nothing I'd exchange for watching Casper with you even though you can probably recite the words and music fade-in timing."

Quinn chuckled, "You're the one to talk, little miss Funny Girl."

Rachel laughed at this.

"I need you to promise me one thing, Rach."

Rachel nodded.

"Promise me that whatever it is, you'll tell me and we'll go through it together. You have to trust me."

"I trust you and I promise to tell you everything."

"Rach, I will never give up on you. I think I have already proven that. It's too late to turn back now."

Rachel smiled and silently thanked whoever it was that gave Quinn to her.

"From now on, you don't have to take care of yourself alone anymore. You have me. Always, always remember that."

Rachel nodded again.

"Good girl."

"Can I kiss you now?"

Quinn scowled.

Rachel pouted, "What? I thought we're okay now."

Quinn then smiled playfully as she pulled Rachel into a kiss, a deep one.

And well yeah, it turned into a making out session.

Let's leave the couple at that.

o-o-o-o

Days have passed and though the media weren't any kinder, Rachel managed because she had a strong support system not just from Quinn but also from Brittany, Santana, Kurt, Blaine, Carla, Charles and Megan. She never realized she had that much people in her life but she was just thankful that they were there for her.

She was most thankful for Quinn because seriously, she had played the girlfriend role in the best way possible.

When Rachel knew that Quinn was staying in New York, she couldn't be any more thankful. Quinn was staying for her and although she could not believe that Quinn would do that for her, she stopped questioning. If there's anything she had learned from being with Quinn officially, that was to just enjoy the moment and not be afraid of anything.

They had spent almost every night in Rachel's apartment watching Casper and yeah, even Rachel had learned to memorize the lines. She always loved it whenever Quinn would fall asleep with her head on her lap while the ending credits of Casper played in the background and she would fall asleep as well completely at ease. Sometimes, when the rehearsals ended late, she would see Quinn sleeping on the couch inside her dressing room while listening to Rachel's playlist that according to Quinn was a perfect playlist for someone who wanted to sleep the night away. Then, they would go home together and wake up beside each other the next morning.

_Despite the countless sleepovers, please do take note that Quinn hasn't moved in yet – although Rachel already has a drawer saved for Quinn's stuff._

Now, this is the part that Rachel was sure her life was perfect.

Every day that passed and the more she learned about Quinn, the more she fell in love with her. And the more Quinn displayed her childish acts, the more Rachel got excited about having little Quinns around although she never told Quinn any of this.

Quinn landed a job as one of the head PR associates for WPIX, the New York leg of the CW network. She was assigned as one of the associates for the advertising and promotions department of The Vampire Diaries and was assigned as PR head for the New York Promotions of Gossip Girl. TVD didn't really require much of her time since they only get orders from the head office but GG practically ate all of her office hours since every move required her approval. She was practically on a good position and being boss wasn't much of a problem for her. She's Quinn Fabray, she'd been the boss for most of her life. Her job paid well but it wasn't as lucrative as being Rachel's publicist.

But Quinn was most thankful for Charles' decision to handle Blaine's career after he landed the role for Miss Saigon. _Yes, he landed the role._ Blaine and Rachel were to star as leads for Miss Saigon come winter. Quinn was so thankful that she didn't have to leave the theater industry because Charles hired her to be Blaine's handler and publicist. And that's when she knew she'd earn more than what she needed to. Rachel wanted her to work for her again but Quinn knew it was best not to work for her _girlfriend_.

They haven't gone out in public; in case they do, they were usually with Santana and Brittany or Carla and Kurt.

Carla had told them to keep the relationship under the radar until they finally found an opportunity to tell the world about Quinn, in a much more official but not an interview kind of way.

"Why are we here?" the diva asked as she sipped from her cup of coffee. "You know that I have to go back for voice training in an hour, right?"

She and Carla sat inside Charles' office waiting for him.

"I am your assistant, Ms. Berry. Of course, I know. Charles said it won't be long. He's giving me the full production schedule of Miss Saigon and he's handing you the final revised script. They have re-adjusted it since we are working with a smaller Chris here."

Rachel nodded. She was really happy to be able to work with Blaine and help him with his Broadway debut.

"Blaine and his staff had met with the producers and they loved him. Not to mention the director was totally checking her agent out."

Rachel's eyes grew wide.

Carla chuckled, "Don't blame him. Quinn's pretty easy on the eyes."

Rachel scowled.

"Don't worry. Quinn made it clear she wasn't available."

"Did the guy ask her out?"

"He went as far as asking for her number."

Rachel's mouth hung open in disbelief.

"Blaine was a gentleman, though. He practically stood beside Quinn and told them to back-off not caring if they were the producers. But apparently, Quinn didn't need his help. She was awesome with glaring."

Rachel chuckled, "I can imagine their horror. Quinn's kind of good at that."

"I believe you. I was there. I needed to discuss your schedule with them so they could be able to fix the schedule for everyone's convenience."

"If I was there, I would have killed him. I can't wait to see him and tell him that Quinn is my girlfriend."

Carla chuckled, "How romantic, Ms. Berry."

"Sometimes, I hate it that Quinn is so beautiful. There are so much people to compete with."

Carla shook her head smilingly, "You sound so in love. Oh my God."

Rachel just laughed and Carla laughed as well. They have developed a nice friendship over the short period of time and she surprisingly felt comfortable around her.

"Anyway, plans for tonight?"

"Just another Casper night with Q. I'm gonna force her to make it a Funny Girl night."

"You both are aware that there are other movies out there, right?"

"Nothing beats Casper and Funny Girl."

Carla rolled her eyes, "You are unbelievable. Two unbelievable people in love with each other. The world is ending."

Rachel laughed. This is one of the few things she loved a lot about Carla – she's the girl version of Kurt.

As they sat quietly inside Charles' office, Rachel just sipped down her coffee and exchanged texts with Quinn while Carla continued to browse the net for... well, the stuff she does regularly.

It was when she came across some latest buzz that her eyes grew wide in excitement.

"Oh my God," she cried.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Quinn is amazing. I think I'm gonna worship her," Carla then turned and shared her Mac with Rachel so the diva would see what she'd been looking at.

Rachel smiled as she saw photos of an event where Quinn mingled with different people and as they browsed, they came across a photo of Quinn with Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick on the red carpet.

"For one second there, I almost thought Quinn was part of the GG cast," Carla chuckled.

"Was this the function she'd been talking about? This was last night, right?"

"Yeah, that was her first project with CW. The function she so creatively titled 'The GG Function'. I can see why you're so in love with her, she's very creative," Carla teased.

Rachel laughed, "It looks like a success, though."

"It was. Everyone's been buzzing about it. She's amazing."

"That's my girl right there."

They laughed at that as they continued to browse through the hundreds of photos of the gathering. Most of them were of the Gossip Girl cast, the producers and the heads of WPIX and CW. There were only a few photos of Quinn but then, they came across one of the few which had Quinn and Blaine on the red carpet.

"Quinn brought Blaine?" Rachel asked as her eyes widened.

"Uh, as you know, they usually bring plus ones in these events."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Why didn't she bring me? It's her first project here in the city."

They looked at the photo and read the caption: _CW-NY Head PR Associate Quinn Fabray graces the red carpet with future Broadway star Blaine Anderson_

Blaine's name came with a link and Carla immediately clicked it.

As Rachel continued to be frustrated about Quinn's decision to not take her and not tell her that she was bringing Blaine as her date, Carla read the write-up that the link directed to.

After a few seconds of reading, Carla's eyes grew wide.

Rachel sighed bitterly, "What does it say? That they're dating and that they look good together? That they're a match made in heaven?"

_Was she jealous of Blaine?_

"Quinn landed a Broadway Weekly interview for Blaine," Carla said wide-eyed.

Rachel's eyes went equally wide as Carla's.

Broadway Weekly was an elite Broadway-centered magazine featuring huge Broadway acts and special Broadway features. To say the least, a Broadway newcomer landing an interview in BW was synonymous to landing an Ellen interview in Hollywood.

"Oh my God. Quinn is amazing. Seriously, I'm going to have to worship at her feet," Carla said shaking her head in amusement. "She really got Blaine's name buzzing."

Rachel didn't know if she was jealous of Blaine or proud of Quinn.

"A typical publicist would just build Blaine up in association to your name but Quinn, she's..." Carla trailed off as she clicked on the Order Now button and pushed for an order of next week's BW. "She's building up Blaine's name independently."

"Really? A typical publicist would do that?"

"Of course, Ms. Berry. You're the most in-demand theater star nowadays. You went to high school with him, won a Nationals show choir title together; everything that's needed for Blaine's publicity comes in handy with you around. If it wasn't Quinn, I'm sure they could have easily used you for his benefit. It's not easy landing a feature on BW, mind you."

"I know. I know," Rachel said a little annoyed. Well, yeah that's her girlfriend right there.

Rachel sighed heavily. She didn't know what was frustrating her really.

Carla then looked at her boss and shook her head as she chuckled. "By the way Ms. Berry, have you talked to Aaron recently?"

Although she was still annoyed for no apparent reason, she looked up, "Aaron as in Tveit?"

Carla nodded.

Rachel rolled her eyes as her annoyance was even more fueled by the mention of Aaron's name, "Please, Carla. The last time we talked, he kept asking about Quinn."

Carla chuckled, "Wow. You have loads of competition."

"Why'd you ask anyway?"

"I missed Charles email last night. The Tony's is in two weeks and he said you're going with him unless you want to go with Bobby instead."

"Bobby Steggert?"

"Yeah. He's kinda cute."

"I barely know these guys Charles is setting me up with. Plus, I am this close to hating Aaron for constantly telling me that he wants to take Quinn out on a pseudo-non-date."

"Don't be mad at him, he's not aware that she's yours."

Again, Rachel sighed heavily.

"Are you threatened?" Carla asked in slight disbelief. Who knew Rachel Berry had so much insecurity?

Rachel just rolled her eyes choosing to say nothing that might trigger Carla to ask more questions.

Carla decided to just let the conversation flow the professional way, "Who are you taking? Aaron or Bobby?"

"I have other plans for the Tony's," Rachel said as a mischievous smirk spread across her face.

Carla looked at Rachel processing what she meant by her previous statement. Although she was just starting to master Rachel's attitude, Carla knew that tone Rachel just used. Judging by the way she said it, she knew that Rachel had a plan going on inside her head.

A few more seconds and it clicked.

For probably the nth time that afternoon, Carla's eyes grew wide in realization.

"Oh," Carla managed.

"It's about time."

She had the idea a few days ago while she was fitting her dress for the night of the Tony Awards. She thought that it would be a great way to tell the world about Quinn in a not-interview way. And after seeing Quinn with Blaine and knowing that there are a lot of guys who are interested in her girlfriend, she was even more triggered.

_Yes. Rachel was planning to take Quinn as her date for the Tony's._

o-o-o-o-o

_I want to take you to the Tony's to let them know that you're the girl that I was talking about on that interview. I know, I'm asking for too much but I cannot take it anymore. A lot people want you. A lot of guys have the confidence to ask you out and I cannot complain because I haven't told the world that it's you I've set my heart on to. And you cannot tell anybody that it's me you are officially dating. Aside from the fact that the Tony's is a special night for me and I want you to be there when I accept my first Tony, I want us to be able to things that normal couples do. I want to hold your hand when we are walking, I want to go on date nights with you without our friends; I want to be able to attend your big events. I want to be a part of the entirety of your life, Quinn but as long as we're not telling the world about us, we won't be able to do that and I badly want to. I need to._

These were the words that echoed inside her head as she and Santana sat inside the Latina's favorite Mexican restaurant in New York – Dos Caminos in 3rd Avenue. Brittany wasn't able to join them because she has late rehearsals.

They were already halfway done their meals and their pitcher of red wine was already half-empty when Santana decided to offer her thoughts.

"That's a huge step, Quinn," Santana said as she kept her face as neutral as possible.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "I know. That's why I'm talking to you."

"Q, it's your decision to make. Not mine."

"I was hoping you can shed some light."

"You should have talked to Brit instead. She's better at this."

"Come on."

"Look," Santana said as she adjusted on her seat. "I cannot blame the midget for wanting to have this relationship announced but if you're not ready, don't."

Quinn looked at Santana quizzically.

"Scratch that. I mean, why are you so hesitant in doing this?"

Quinn shrugged.

Honestly, she didn't know. Maybe it was the trauma of the previous incident with Rachel or maybe it was simply because she wasn't ready. When Rachel asked her, she didn't immediately say yes because this, for her, is a lot to take.

Rachel was even surprised that she didn't say yes because, as the diva said it, she thought she was ready.

But she wasn't.

Or maybe, she was. She just needed the right words to convince her.

She and Rachel had to call for rain check that night because the brunette got disappointed about her not saying yes and about the whole GG function with Blaine incident.

To say quite honestly, she and Rachel had been fighting a lot because Rachel gets frustrated about a lot of things lately. She noticed that Rachel gets easily pissed whenever she hears (from Carla or Santana) that Quinn has received many dinner proposals and even lunches, and even indecent proposals.

Although some of these are just exaggerated stories by no other than Santana, some were actually true and even Quinn was surprised about the amount of attention she'd been getting lately. No matter how many times she told Rachel that she never entertained any of these, the brunette would still end up in a bad mood and the only way she can please her again is by stomping her foot when Rachel would ignore her.

The fights weren't grand but they were often. Although sometimes, Quinn loved when Rachel acts as the jealous girlfriend, there were times she wished that Rachel would feel secured of her. Of course, she understood that Rachel trusts her; that it's the people around her that Rachel doesn't trust. She also knew about Rachel's insecurities and yes, she wants them all gone.

One of the things that Rachel hated so much in her life is sharing the things she loved the most.

"You'll have to get through this anyway," Santana said snapping her out of her thoughts. "The God damned dwarf needs to have you tied down, Q. It's the only way she can stop people from going after you."

"Doesn't she trust me?"

"Gah," Santana huffed as she rolled her eyes. "She does, 'kay? But people need to have a sense of property sometimes. It's the reason why Brittany wanted to marry me. Girls know about me. And knowing that I'm single gave them more reasons to ask me out. No matter how much I tell them I have reservations, they won't back down as long as I don't have someone in my arm all the time."

Quinn sighed.

"I understand why you're so hesitant, though. It's a lot of pressure to be labeled as her girlfriend. Aside from the pack of paparazzi that will be following you from that day forward, it's also like declaring that you're not the girl your parents raised you to be."

"You're really not helping."

Santana rolled her eyes, "I'm just stating the two conflicting sides of your mental debate."

"I don't know what to do, S."

Santana chuckled, "You do, Q. That's why you're seeking for my advice. We ask for advice when we already know the answer but we wish we didn't."

Quinn smiled, "You know me well, do you?"

Santana shrugged, "More than you know yourself."

"What will I do without you?"

"Die."

Quinn laughed at this.

"Quinn?" Santana called; her voice going from sarcastic to concerned-best-friend mode.

"Yeah?"

If there's anything Santana Lopez had learned about this kind of situation, there are steps you're bound to take. It's either they come in bundles or they come gradually. When put in the position, there are only two things you can do: take it easy or take it hard; but either way, you can't stop them from happening.

Santana met Quinn's eyes and said, "Take it easy," she paused to smile, "but take it."

o-o-o-o

Santana Lopez sure did know how to talk the hell out of Quinn Fabray.

Years of friendship told Quinn that _'take it easy but take_ it' is Santana's code for 'you know what you want, don't be afraid to go for it'.

And so, she did.

_Take it easy but take it._

Quinn sat nervously inside her apartment as she waited for Rachel to pick her up. No one can stop this night from coming – the night of the prestigious Tony Awards; the night when she'd be walking down the red carpet beside Rachel, a sure winner of a major award for tonight; the night for the inevitable to happen.

She decided to take it easy as she made the decision to come with Rachel; to let Rachel say yes when she got asked if Quinn was the lucky girl. Santana was right, this would happen eventually and her only choice was to take it easy or take hard.

By taking it easy, she made a mental note to trust Rachel and her own instincts. She knows how to face the media and she knows how to carry herself. She didn't need to be scared of them, Rachel would be there.

She also made a mental note to take the repercussions easily. People would be digging her up, they would be saying things but she had to be strong.

Rachel arrived with Carla in matter of minutes and the moment they saw each other, they were both stunned.

Clad in her backless red long gown that hugged her in all the right places, Rachel walked over to Quinn in complete awe. She was nervous about her and Quinn's red carpet debut as a couple but then, seeing Quinn, she felt all her anxieties disappear.

"Wow," Rachel said with a huge smile on her face. She matched her stunning dress with blunt bangs, pin-straight hair and light makeup. _Seriously! The dress did it for her._

"Wow yourself," Quinn said mirroring the same huge smile on Rachel's face.

Quinn was wearing a long blush silk chiffon strapless dress – which according to Megan was a good color to mesh with Rachel's deep red and was a good color to just let her blend in the background and not steal the show from Rachel. She wore her hair in an old Hollywood way with finger wave curls and a dark shade of red lipstick to match the dress. _Seriously! Quinn was too good to be true!_

"If my girlfriend looks like that on the night of the Tony's, I don't see any reason to be nervous, Ms. Berry. Everyone will be talking about this stunning lady," Carla – who was wearing a simple black dress – said.

"I know, right?" Rachel said as she kissed Quinn gently. "You look beautiful, baby."

Quinn blushed at the term of endearment as she smiled, "You, too."

"Ready?"

Quinn nodded.

Rachel was moving to usher them out of the apartment when Quinn pulled her by the wrist. Rachel turned to her with a questioning look.

"I'm nervous," Quinn confessed.

Rachel smiled at Quinn to reassure her that everything's going to be fine, "You're Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray doesn't get nervous about anything."

"I'm not that Quinn anymore."

"You are still the confident Quinn I know, baby" Rachel said as she again kissed Quinn chastely. "You'll do well. You've walked the red carpet on the night of your event."

"This is different."

"I'll be beside you, Quinn. We'll get through this together."

"What if I lost everything after this?"

Quinn sounded so vulnerable that Rachel felt how much she Quinn needed assurance. She knew his is risky but this step is necessary in their relationship. All she had to do was to be strong for Quinn; for their relationship.

Rachel cupped Quinn's face with her hands, "You still have me. You'll _always_ have me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: The Tony's and the talks left Rachel alone, they've followed Quinn.<strong>_


	50. Chapter 50: No Escaping

**A/N: I know this was wayyyy too late. I'm sorry. I kind of traveled. But anyway, THANK YOU… you know, for **_**still **_**reading and everything. We're nearing the end, I guess. But it depends, on how Rachel and Quinn would deal with the next events.**

**Here's another chapter and I hope you like it. And please, don't kill Jacob Ben Israel when you see him after this chapter. *spoiler, sorry* : )**

* * *

><p>The ride to the venue was surprisingly short and filled with tension.<p>

Both girls were nervous about the whole thing.

Quinn have called and talked to Judy last night about the event. She was supportive but Quinn knew it was a test for Judy as much as it was a test for her. Judy will be asked questions about the way she raised her, she will be questioned by their church and everyone will be talking about their family. It was risky but the step was necessary. Quinn was just thankful that Judy liked Rachel for her and that her mom said she can handle anything that will come her way.

Rachel's fathers called her and reassured her that they will look out for her mom. Frannie also reassured her of the same thing and made her promise to take Rachel for Hannukah so they can shut Carson up with the whole huge-Broadway-dreams thing. Quinn laughed at how her mother and sister acted; at least, out of all the complications that this event brings to them, she knew that she would still have something to fall back on.

They were already nearing the Beacon Theater when Quinn felt Rachel's hand in hers.

"It's gonna be okay, Quinn," Rachel reassured her.

Quinn nodded as she smiled at the equally nervous Rachel. The brunette called her dads and told them about her huge non-interview announcement for the night. They were excited and told her that they invited Judy over for them to watch the broadcast on CBS. She laughed at this and was thankful that their parents are showing enough support.

As the limousine turned the final corner heading to Beacon Theater, Rachel checked her phone for the final time. She knew there were a lot of good luck text messages but she browsed for the texts of the people who counted the most.

_**San and I will be watching, Ray! We made a bet. She guessed you'd cry and I guessed you'd cry. LOL luv u, r. *winks**_

It was Brittany and Rachel had to laugh at the bet which was not a bet after all.

_**Q is tough but this is different, short stack. I need you to stay strong for her.**_

It was needless to say that this was definitely Santana.

There were more texts from Kurt, Blaine and the Glee kids. It was funny and it made Rachel smile how the people she used to run away from were the ones who were actually there when she needed support.

Rachel and Quinn always had the Glee Club behind them.

o-o-o-o-o

When the limousine pulled over in front of the Beacon Theater, both girls took a deep breath.

_This is it._

The valet officer opened the door of the limo cueing for Rachel's grand entrance.

She stepped out of the limo and the moment she was out of the car, she felt all eyes on her. She flashed her signature smile to let the people know she had arrived. A few seconds more and she stretched her hand for Quinn to take as the stunning blonde stepped out of the car.

Quinn knew the feeling of people looking at her. She wasn't a novice for being the subject of intense stares but the moment she stepped out of that gorgeous limo, she felt different kinds of stares.

_Stares of all sorts._

There would always be that adoring kind but she felt judgmental stares, too, especially when Rachel intertwined their fingers and led her down the red carpet.

Quinn looked around and flashed a confident smile but she was shaking inside. If Rachel's hand weren't holding hers to confirm that she was still alive, she was sure she would have died a few moments ago.

As they reached the photo op part, she knew she had to let go of Rachel's hand for her to flaunt her awesome Marchesa dress. Rachel looked at her for a brief moment but Quinn only nodded to let her know that she'll be fine by herself. She stepped aside with Carla who counted the minutes of Rachel's photo op.

It was thoroughly calculated, really – the minutes of how long she'd stay in the red carpet. She and Carla talked a bit about how awesome the place looked but Quinn could barely take her eyes off Rachel.

_God! She's beautiful._

Rachel wasn't the typical kind of beautiful but there was always something about the way she carries herself that made her standout. She always had a firm grasp on her personality that sometimes, it just shows how much she's sure of herself and what she wants. This is one of the many things that Quinn loved about her. And in that brief moment of watching Rachel pose of the flashing cameras, Quinn fell further for her.

For a moment, Quinn felt guilty for taking that away from Rachel. She knew that Rachel was stunning but unfortunately, people won't be talking about that but _them_. She almost thought that Rachel would be approaching the interviews alone but all that was sane in Quinn's life disappeared when Rachel grabbed her gently by the hand and approached the eager TV interviewers.

Quinn never hated knowing a lot about the industry than she felt that moment. Her wide knowledge about entertainment shows gave her the spark that Rachel was approaching _E!_

"You look stunning, Rachel," the brown-haired girl opened. "Who are you wearing?" she asked.

Rachel smiled, "Marchesa. I know, I know, it's awesome."

If it was appropriate for the occasion, Quinn would have rolled her eyes at how automatic the exchange was. She knew exactly how the girl was itching to ask about the blonde girl whose hand was locked with Rachel's.

Then, there it was: together with the cameras flashing around her and the non-stop murmuring of people, the _E! _interviewer turned to Quinn and smiled like she had the most important scoop of her life. She felt Rachel pull her closer and Quinn had no choice but to pull her million-dollar smile.

The cameraman adjusted his huge equipment and now, Quinn was sure she's on national TV.

"Oh, my God. Is she the girl you were talking about?"

She sounded so eager that she almost shrieked. Quinn had to stop herself from laughing at it. She looked at Rachel and well, it was cheesy but it was also the moment that Rachel chose to look at her.

_God!_

The look on Rachel's eyes was indescribable. It was a mixture of awe and excitement yet, it was soft and endearing. Rachel turned back to the interviewer and nodded, "Yes. She's the one I was talking about."

The interviewer smiled like she was happy for them and then asked, "Are you dating her now?"

Quinn's head was spinning. _This is it._

"We've made it official," Rachel said as she smiled. She said it with so much air of finality that the interviewer just died, well, maybe on the inside.

People around them who probably heard it had weird smiles on their faces that Quinn could not even begin to explain. Before the interviewer could ask more questions, Carla dragged them on to the next spot and it went like that. In fact, all the next few interviews went like that. It would start with asking about her dress and then, to Quinn and then to the status of their relationship.

One interview went:

"Is she the lucky girl?"

"I am the lucky one, I guess."

Quinn had to stop herself from laughing at that. Rachel handled the interviews well and Quinn was so proud of her. All Quinn did was smile while Rachel announced their relationship to each and every person they came across with.

_It was the plan after all._

Another interview went:

"Is she the Quinn Fabray that everyone had been talking about?"

Rachel nodded, "Yes, she's the one."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Quinn wanted to punch the guy. Seriously, he didn't know about modesty.

"Yes."

It was brief and it was just a word but it confirmed everything that people would die to confirm that night.

Luckily, the short red carpet moment (which seemed to have taken forever) ended and the next thing they knew, they were inside the theater.

It was crazy.

There were familiar faces. Some of the people who came and greeted Rachel were also present on Lilibeth's after party, some were totally new to her while the others were familiar to her because they were popular.

_They stole the night_.

Quinn was sure that tomorrow, people won't be talking about the entirety of the Tony Awards but _her _and her relationship with Rachel.

Rachel introduced her to her friends _as her girlfriend _and not as her publicist. Some of them actually know her and they were surprised that she was _now _her girlfriend. Rachel would just say, "She changed her role in my life. Frankly, it's the role I had always wanted her to play."

It was comforting that people who really knew Rachel were supportive. Some of them even said, "I wouldn't be surprised. She's very beautiful." Quinn would just smile shyly at the compliments and would engage in small talks but really, she was so thankful that the awards ceremony was already starting and people had to _tentatively _take their attention off them.

o-o-o-o-o

The night went on and finally, it was time to announce the winner for "Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical".

Daniel Radcliffe, who was now considered a Broadway actor, came up on stage as the host introduced him.

Rachel sat nervously as she clasped Quinn's hand. True enough, her career wasn't everything to her anymore but a Tony Award is still a Tony Award. Sure, talks have been circulating that she was the sure winner but still, she can't help but be nervous.

When she was young, she dreamt of winning a Tony because it was the most prestigious award-giving body in Broadway but as she grew older, the need became more than that. She wanted to win a Tony because she's an artist that wants to be recognized for her art; for something she loved doing. Charles and Megan, even Quinn, told her that an award is just an approval of the award-giving body and it's just a bonus for everything she had achieved so far but she believed that an award is something that will seal out her value despite the upcoming talks. It was something she _needed _to be able to maintain grasp on her dreams and make her believe that no matter what people think of her now, she would always be that talented little girl who came from Lima and fulfilled her lifelong imaginings.

She was a different Rachel Berry now but a Tony Award is something that would remind her that she was once the girl who did everything and gave up love just to have her dreams fulfilled. Even if this would be the first and last Tony Award, even if she loses everything after this, she wanted to have something to remind her that she reached everything she wanted in her life.

To top it all off, she needed that damned piece of furniture because she needed something to make herself believe that she is someone that deserves to be loved. She knew that she had always been enough for Quinn with or without the Tony Award but that small piece of furniture is a reminder that she can have everything if she worked hard to fight for it. If ever her relationship with Quinn would be tested, that Tony Award will serve as a memento for Rachel Berry saying _she can conquer anything if she wanted it enough._

Not to mention that it will also serve as her final revenge to all the people who underestimated her. Quinn was enough for her but she _needed _that award to seal her as a person; as a person who pursued her dreams despite the many people who said she can never make it.

The Harry Potter star smiled as he opened with his British accent, "There are four equally remarkable performances nominated for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role for a Musical."

Rachel swallowed.

_This is it._

"And the nominees are: Patina Miller, Sister Act," Daniel Radcliffe announced as a round of applause was heard. He continued, "Donna Murphy, The People in the Picture," applause was then again heard.

"Rachel Berry, Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time," there, her nomination was sealed.

Another round of applause went within the theater and she clasped Quinn's hand. She could feel the camera on her and Quinn; she could also feel Quinn's supportive gaze on her. There was one more nominee but she didn't hear who it was and frankly, she didn't care.

"And the American Theater Wings Tony goes to…"

Rachel closed her eyes.

She's close to dying in anticipation.

"Rachel Berry, Lilibeth's Travel Back in Time."

_Oh my God._

A loud round of applause was heard inside the theater. Again, she felt the camera on her and then, she just needed to do it.

She looked at Quinn, who was looking at her with pure adoration and happiness, and kissed her on the cheek. She sighed contentedly as her lips ghosted just above the blonde's cheek as she felt Quinn move to kiss her forehead.

She was so happy. She was so happy that she could feel like she could kiss Quinn's lips on national TV but kept in mind that it was too much for the people to take.

"Go," Quinn whispered.

She smiled as she stood and made her way towards the stage.

_The old Rachel Berry would have loved this!_

There were no words that could describe how complete she felt the moment Daniel Radcliffe handed her the freaking furniture which was the epitome of a Broadway success. She looked at it for a couple of seconds until she felt the need to deliver the speech she had been preparing all her life.

But instead of looking around, her teary vision found Quinn's eyes. Her heart beat faster and she wasn't sure if it was because of the Tony or if it was because of the proud look on Quinn's eyes.

Again, she never felt more complete than she did at that moment. Quinn was there while she accepted her award and she thought it would be meaningless without _her lady_. To say the least, she thought it that way – anything would be meaningless without Quinn and she confirmed it, on that moment she stood in front of everybody else yet her mind wandered to the one person she loved.

"Wow," she opened. "I… just…"

She chuckled, "I cannot believe I am stuttering!"

It earned laughs.

_I waited for this all my life my tongue chose to trip now? Nice job, Rachel._

"I just never been this happy in my life," she said in a shaky voice. "I've never been happier in my life. You will not believe how much I dreamt to be here in front of you delivering the speech I have constructed since I first learned how to write."

Again, it earned laughs.

"All I wanted all my life was to be known for my talents. To be recognized without me pushing people to recognize me," she laughed at this, "and this night is just magical. Everything is coming true and I want everyone here to see me as the little girl who had huge dreams. And I want you all to see me that way despite the decisions I've made, recently."

She glanced at the teary Quinn who was sitting beside the equally teary Carla and they were anticipating each and everything that Rachel was bound to say.

"If I could, I would talk here all night; believe me, I could do that."

Again, she made the people laugh.

"Seriously, I have so many thoughts going on in my mind. I prepared for a speech but Charles was right, it wouldn't matter when I actually get here. God! I memorized this since I was three!"

She laughed again and, again, it made the people laugh.

"I just want to thank my incredible high school Glee Club teacher Mr. Schuester and his wife Emma. I guess high school was the time I decided I wanted this and those two people really helped me. My co-Glee clubbers who always challenged me to be at my best Matt, Sam, Artie, Tina, Mike, Lauren, Puck and Mercedes, who by way is a finalist in American Idol. To Finn, for being the first person who made me believe I was good enough to lead a team to winning a Nationals show choir title. To my teachers and friends in Julliard who kept up with me. To my manager, Charles, for believing in me and risking your undeniably impeccable reputation; to my staff Megan, Darcy, Clare and the awesome Carla – thank you. I may not say it every day but I do know about your efforts for me and I appreciate it. I also want to thank my friends whom I have been friends with since high school Blaine, Santana, Kurt and my former roommate Brittany – you have no idea how much you all mean to me and believe me, you people changed my life in ways you do not know. And of course, to my fathers who are watching in Ohio right now, I can never thank you enough for introducing me to the wonderful world of theater and I know our family is not perfect but I am thankful that I grew up in your hands; I will never ask for other parents."

She said that in record time because she was kind of shaking. But she wasn't done. She sighed as she met Quinn's eyes, "And lastly, I want to thank Quinn Fabray."

Everybody in the room seemed to know who Quinn Fabray was because they all diverted their attention to Quinn for a moment before turning back to Rachel.

"Thank you for believing in me. You believed in me even during those times that I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for sending me on my way and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you," this is the part that her eyes got all teary. "_I love you, Quinn and you mean the world to me._"

She locked eyes with her and smiled.

This is the moment she realized that she wanted Quinn in her life – forever.

She smiled for the last time before making her way down the stage.

Quinn was sure she was flying.

She didn't care if Rachel just announced, once again, that she's the girl that Rachel's been talking about.

She knew, just like Rachel, that her life was complete.

She was complete because she had Rachel. She said it before and she'll say it over and over – Rachel was the one she always wanted in her life.

There was no denying that wherever she and Rachel were going, it's going to be beautiful.

When Rachel went back to sit beside her, she hugged her.

She didn't care if there was a show going on or if there were people looking at them. She hugged her because it was the most sensible thing to do.

Quinn and Rachel knew they were both where they're supposed to be – beside each other, in the center of Beacon Theater with a whole life ahead of them.

Quinn and Rachel knew that it would be hard but they will take it hand-in-hand because Quinn and Rachel were awesome together.

Apart, Quinn and Rachel were just ordinary people. Quinn was a PR associate bound for great things while Rachel was a successful Broadway star but together, Quinn and Rachel were the personification of a love meant to last forever despite countless halts and heartbreaks.

Quinn and Rachel always were special together.

_Always have, always will._

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn never thought that things could go from being a perfect love story to a crazy one; seriously, things got out of control after the night of the Tony's.

Immediately after the Tony's, Quinn and Rachel attended the after party only to be asked more questions by random people, people that were close to Rachel and people from the media.

Rachel answered them modestly while Quinn only answered those that were directed to her. People were happy for them and for one moment, she was able to make herself believe that there were no repercussions.

Rachel was flooded with Tweets and Quinn was surprised that Rachel's fans were able to find her Twitter account which wasn't even obvious to begin with: alittlelamb. Quinn's Facebook wall was also flooded with comments from people that were actually happy for her. Some even expressed their envy because, hello, she was in a relationship with Rachel fucking Berry.

When Santana went home from school the next day after the Tony's, she complained that people knew that she was the bestfriend of Rachel Berry's girlfriend and people have asked her questions. She had to stop herself from laughing at how annoyed Santana was but the Latina still managed to ask if she was alright given the different write-ups that _exploded _in the internet.

She was fine, though. It was crazy and it was overwhelming but as she said, there's nothing Quinn Fabray cannot handle.

That night, Rachel threw an exclusive party that only included her close friends. Brittany, Santana, Kurt, Blaine, Carla, Carla's boyfriend Gabe, Charles, Megan, Darcy, Clare, some of Rachel's friends from Julliard, some from Lilibeth and of course Quinn were there to celebrate the diva's Tony win.

The party had gone amazingly well and again, those people were actually supportive. Not that Quinn needed so much support; it just helped to know that there are actual people who didn't judge them.

Leroy, Hiram and Judy also called to express how proud they were that _finally _their relationship was out in the open.

For a moment there, Quinn believed that everything was actually fine.

Weeks after the Tony's, talks continued to circulate around the industry.

**Rachel Berry wins first Tony; takes girlfriend 'out'**

**Tony award-winner Rachel Berry publicizes relationship**

**Rachel Berry ends speculations**

**Rachel Berry introduces her **_**girlfriend**_

The talks went that way a few days after the Tony's but then they changed as time passed quickly.

_**Who is Quinn Fabray?**_

_**Rachel Berry's girlfriend was a former cheerleader**_

_**Get to know Quinn Fabray**_

After the media had claimed a good grasp on who the real Quinn Fabray was, they used it to attack Rachel.

They used Quinn to attack Rachel.

_**Rachel Berry's girlfriend was a teen mom**_

_**Quinn Fabray gave her baby for adoption**_

_**Quinn Fabray was a troubled college kid**_

At first, she was able to resist the talks. It was easy to ignore them because they were just tabloids and tabloid stories can easily be buried whenever Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez would be seen kissing.

But it was Jacob Ben Israel's blog that ruined Quinn.

In effort to get noticed, the struggling journalist wrote about what he knew – and apparently, everything that the media needed to know.

His blog titled "Quinn Fabray's Journey To Lesbiandom" easily circulated throughout the internet and in a snap, the world knew _everything _about her.

It was tagged under the keywords that made it easy for people to access and apparently, he earned his 60 seconds of fame.

The blog talked about her Christian upbringing under her conservative parents. It also featured her HBIC days which talked about how horrible she was as a former Head Cheerio, how she ruled the school with her icy glare and slushies and how much of a bully she was in high school. It mentioned her achievements as leader of three nationals cheerleading championships and her stunt with the Glee club but it wasn't the highlight.

Apparently, the main goal of JBI's blog was to destroy her because it also mentioned how rudely she treated Rachel and how she drew pornographic images of her in the bathroom; how she mocked her fashion sense and her huge nose and how she ordered jocks to throw slushies on her. Finn was no exception as Jacob discussed how they fought over the school's quarterback.

Of course, the blog mentioned her being pregnant with the school man whore's baby and the whole fiasco of lying about the father. Jacob didn't miss the part of her life that she was thrown out of her house. And what hurt the most was how the blog recalled her giving her baby up for adoption. The funny thing was it also mentioned that the baby was adopted by no other than her now-girlfriend's mother.

Nobody could do damage control tactics for her because she had no publicist. She had no control over the situation.

When the story broke, Carla came running to her explaining that she tried her best to keep the talks low but people won't stop. She acted tough around Carla and Rachel and told them that she could handle them.

She told herself that this is one of the tests that she has to go through.

But when she was left alone with Santana and Brittany on the night after the story broke, Quinn cried hard. Santana was fuming and she was sure she would go back to Lima to kill Jacob.

She threw up, all night.

Suddenly, she felt her past mistakes re-doing the damages in her life.

Just when she thought she could start something new with Rachel, here come her past mistakes firing back all over again.

Soon after, people started questioning her intentions, her credibility.

She was even summoned by one of WPIX's executives to have her explain her side and she was just thankful that they chose to believe her and her brand new self.

It lessened the worries but not the talks.

Rachel was there for her but she always claimed that she was okay.

She said that she was okay although Santana practically skipped her classes every once in a while because her throwing up had been frequent again. She claimed that she was okay although she had called in sick at work every time her depression sunk in.

She didn't tell Rachel any of it because one, she didn't want her to worry about her situation and two, she didn't want Rachel to think that she was being weak.

She knew that eventually, the talks will die and she just had to stay strong for their relationship while it was there. Quinn knew that Rachel didn't believe her all the time that she said she was okay but she always reassured the diva that she would hold on and would never give up.

But the situation had its toll on her health. She lost weight in a matter of weeks because of the continuous throwing up and sleepless nights. And just when she thought things could not get any worse, it got worse.

Shelby called her one morning and told her that various media people came by her house in Lima asking for details about Beth and the adoption. They also insisted if the kid knew that her mother was gay for the daughter of her foster parent or if the kid knew that she was after all, adopted.

It was bad and it ate the life out of Quinn.

It'd been only two months since she and Rachel made it official but things haven't gone the way they're supposed to be. If anything, things only got worse.

Carla ordered Rachel to not comment on anything about it and decided on releasing a personal statement in her official website sometime soon. But it didn't help the situation, the more Rachel didn't say anything, the more the media speculated wrong things.

Quinn only wanted someone to stand up for her.

She only wanted someone who will say that she's a changed person and that she didn't mean to make her past mistakes.

She only wanted the media to leave Beth and Shelby alone because if there's anything she wanted at that moment was to not drag Beth into the failure that she was as a mother, as a person.

As the popular line goes, what goes around comes around.

And it chose to come around Quinn now; now that she was starting to believe that she deserved to be happy. But somehow, like a sick joke, fate always found a way to screw Quinn up. Every time she got this close to being happy, something will happen and it will test her until she breaks; until she had nothing; until she becomes not strong enough to stand up.

It was comforting to have Rachel around. Her presence somehow made Quinn believe that things would get better but it just wasn't enough.

She needed the talks to stop. She needed them to stop attacking her mom, Shelby, Beth, Puck and her relationship with Rachel. She needed them to stop questioning her.

It was too much to take.

Just a few weeks after she decided to jump on that opportunity of being with Rachel, her life ran from being amazing to depressing.

She wanted to speak up but who was Quinn Fabray for the world to listen to? Who was she to defend herself? Who was she to explain her side?

To the world, she was just an opportunist who grabbed the chance to be with the now award-winning person she used to bully in high school. She was just a troubled person who needed someone to take care of her.

She can never say that the bulimia was because of Rachel. She can never say that the baby was borne out of a drunken mistake caused by her insecurities because her boyfriend chose Rachel.

She can never say that and it hurt so much to not be able to defend herself.

No one would believe her anyway.

To the world, she's nothing.

It hurt so much to not have a choice.

It hurt so much because she only wanted a quiet life with Rachel. Rachel's words echoed in her mind and she remembered Rachel saying that they can never have a life without dramas.

It was part of the Rachel she chose to be in a relationship with but the more she threw up, the more she became unsure of how much more of it she can take.

She loved Rachel but was it enough?

She felt guilty on her throat every time that Shelby called and told her that Beth had been asking questions. Beth always knew she was adopted and Quinn had met her when she visited Lima. And now the little girl had been asking questions about her and Shelby had to answer her honestly.

Quinn was never proud of her life and now, it's slamming itself on her face.

Quinn had been worked up and Santana suggested that she should take a break from work. She had been throwing up non-stop and Santana told her that her Bulimia was back.

She knew Santana was just acting tough. She knew Santana was just being strong for her. She didn't want to bother Santana and Brittany but she was doing just that.

Santana and Brittany were the only ones she's got. Yes, she also had Rachel but she can't tell her. Not yet.

Santana saw it all and every night felt like a repeat of her one year and a half with Quinn's bulimic self in college.

When the story broke, she was so mad that she punched her vanity mirror that it broke. She wanted to kill Jacob Ben Israel and she had cried herself to sleep feeling sorry for Quinn.

Why can't Quinn just be happy?

Why does her fucking life have to be messed up just when it was about to get better?

She will never get tired of taking care of and looking out for Quinn but when it comes down to it, she just wanted her best friend to be happy. She's happy with Brittany but Quinn is part of her life as much as Brittany was and she can never be thoroughly happy if Quinn wouldn't be settled.

Frankly, Santana was pissed off with Rachel. Rachel's life was perfect thinking that Quinn was fine and that Quinn was going to get through it.

Rachel was fine and Quinn was suffering in exchange for that.

Santana didn't want to meddle with it anymore but she had to. She wasn't gonna sit there and watch her best friend self-destruct.

So, she did what she had to and she did what seemed to be necessary at the moment.

"I'm going to talk to you like an adult, Rachel," Santana said the moment she stepped inside Rachel's dressing room.

"Hello, Santana," Rachel tried greeting Santana in confusion. She knew Santana wanted to talk to her but she didn't expect that she was this eager. Somehow, the serious look on Santana's face gave worried her. "Is this about Quinn?" she asked nervously.

"It's about me."

Rachel looked at her in confusion.

Before Rachel could say anything, Santana rolled her eyes, "Of course, it's about Quinn."

Rachel chuckled, "Way to talk to me like an adult, San."

"You're innocence annoys me."

Rachel looked at her again. It's been a while since Santana used that tone on her. "What's the matter –"

"Quinn's bulimia is back."

Rachel's eyes grew wide and tears instantly welled her eyes upon realizing.

She and Quinn hadn't spent so much time since Jacob's blog broke out. The blonde would always claim to be busy. They would only engage in a few dinner dates, casual Funny Girl nights which Quinn fell asleep on through. She also noticed hat Quinn got thinner in a matter of weeks but every time she asked about it, the blonde would just claim that it was about work.

"But she said she's fine –"

"Of course, she's not Berry. When a girl says she's fine after something happened, it usually means she's not really fine. You should know that because you're a girl too or were you a previously a boy?"

"Santana, I –"

"Something's wrong with Quinn, man hands."

"How long has this been happening?"

"Since Jewfro's blog. She had been throwing up non-stop. B and I have fixed our schedules so Quinn wouldn't be alone in the house."

Rachel's mouth dropped open. Is it that bad?

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Why didn't you figure out? Seriously, Rachel. How insensitive can you be?"

"I –"

"Jewfro practically slapped Q with her mistakes and you expect Quinn to be just okay? She's the one who suffered bulimia because she was heartbroken."

"I –"

"Didn't know? Of course you wouldn't!"

Rachel's tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"Look, you can send porcelain to lecture me about how I tolerated Quinn but both of you weren't there when Quinn almost spat her intestines out and right now Rachel, I don't need your tears. I need you to be there for Quinn."

Rachel looked at Santana and saw her crying. It was one of the very few moments that Santana let her see her like that and it hurt Rachel more because it was so evident how deeply Santana was hurting inside.

"Please," Santana said under her breath. "Do something."

"What should I do?"

"I don't know! This is your freaking life and this is your damned relationship. Figure something out," Santana huffed. "Make it stop. Make Quinn's hurting stop," Santana managed before she dropped down Rachel's couch and sobbed.

It hurt Rachel so much because this is Quinn's best friend not taking the hurt anymore; let alone Santana Lopez breaking down in front of Rachel.

She had no idea what to do because really, what is there to do? Waiting was the best they could do for the talks to die.

Rachel knew there was only one thing to do and that is to be there for Quinn. It's tough but they can get through it.

"She needs help, Berry," Santana said. Her voice cracked mid-sentence and Rachel could not believe it because this is Santana Lopez we're talking about. If she's crying like that, especially in front of Rachel, she must be hurting so bad.

"I know people who can help her," Rachel said, desperation is obvious in her voice. "We can tell her to –"

Santana chuckled bitterly, "Believe me, she's always going to find a way to turn a therapy down."

As she wiped her tears off her cheeks, she sat beside the palm-facing Santana and placed a hand on her shoulder, "She's going to be fine, Santana. We, both of us, are going to talk to her. She's gonna listen to us."

Santana looked at her.

Rachel sighed as she closed her eyes tentatively, "We need to be strong for her, San."

"You have no idea how strong I had been for her this past couple of years. I need it to stop, Berry. You are the only person who can convince her. I tried waiting for Quinn to self-heal, just like what she always told me but it didn't happen."

Santana threw her hands in the air as she spoke. Rachel tried to suppress a smile because the Santana she was seeing was the Santana who was actually asking for her help; a grown up Santana.

Rachel rested her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Every time she would be sad about something, she would throw up. God, Rachel! I die each and every time."

"I'm proud of you, Santana."

"I'm kind of proud of myself too if we're talking about my friendship with Quinn," Santana said as she put her arm around Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel chuckled, "Yeah. Sometimes when I think about it, I still cannot believe that _you _took care of Quinn. I mean, come on! You threw her onto the lockers in high school."

Santana laughed gently, "You're the one to talk, Berry. You were at each other's throat."

Rachel laughed, "Well, circumstances change."

Santana nodded smilingly as she rolled her eyes, "Definitely. Look at us, we're talking like adults."

"Somehow, we're drawn to Quinn."

Santana nodded. Both of them just stared silently in different directions thinking about reasons why they were drawn to Quinn.

"I think it's the way she stomps her foot," Rachel said.

"The pout, it's definitely the pout."

"The way she tries to diva out when she's about to lose an argument."

"And the way she bats her eyelashes when she's trying to get you."

Both Santana and Rachel laughed at the exchange.

"San?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Please don't get tired of her," Rachel said silently.

"You know you don't have to tell me."

"I just," Rachel sighed. "She can survive without me but she can't make it without you."

"Rachel?"

"Hmmm?"

"Will you not tell anyone about this?"

Rachel laughed, "I won't."

"And one more thing," Santana paused. She took a deep breath before continuing, "Don't give up on her."

Rachel pressed her lips tightly.

"You're the one good, constant thing in her life right now and I don't want her to lose you, too. You have a good thing going on."

Rachel closed her eyes to stop being such a cry baby. Words like those mean a lot when it came from Brittany but it was different coming from Santana. She nodded and then pressed herself tightly onto the Latina.

This is just a phase and this, too, shall pass.

Rachel smiled pathetically as she offered her fist for Santana to bump.

She felt Santana chuckle, "This is so pedestrian."

Still holding her fist up, "Come on, San. Nobody would see you being so pedestrian anyway."

Santana let out a gentle laugh as she bumped fists with Rachel.

"Yeah!" Rachel cheered.

Santana just laughed as she shook her head.

Rachel hugged Santana for a moment as she sighed contentedly. She was aching to see Quinn and talk to her, be there for her but Rachel chose to savor that brief moment with her girlfriend's best friend.

It's going to be a tough fight with the monsters under Quinn's bed given the skeletons inside her own closet but with Santana – and Brittany – right there with them, she knew they'd be fine.

Santana and Rachel sat there realizing that, perhaps, it was true.

_You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have._

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter: Rachel will be feeling – like she already wants to take it, to the next level..<br>**_


	51. Chapter 51: For Good

**A/N: This was a long time coming, again. Ha. The holidays got me caught, I'm sorry. Well, THANK YOU, for still reading and reviewing. Forgive me if there are mistakes in here, I don't think I did a good job proofreading everything. XD  
><strong>

**So here's another chapter. Warning? Well, things would go a little suggestive. : ) But it's still, PG. Don't worry.**

* * *

><p>While Santana and Rachel were having their moment, Brittany and Quinn were in the living room of their apartment watching a re-run of <em>Smallville<em>.

Brittany was sitting on the couch with Quinn's head on her lap as the other blonde lounged. They were sharing a bowl of popcorn which they placed on top of Quinn's stomach so that it was within their reach.

"I hope Clois fans would forgive me but I feel bad for Chloe. I mean, she was there for all the life of Clark," Brittany said as she stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth as her other hand stroked Quinn's blonde locks.

"I cried on that letter scene," Quinn admitted. She doesn't like Smallville as much as Brittany does but the show had its moments for her; one of them was that scene where Chloe told Clark about her feelings while the super guy was sleeping. It broke her heart.

"I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend," Brittany recalled the exact lines. "God, I loved that scene."

"Me, too," Quinn said as she also stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth. _Really, it was a popcorn eating competition._

"When I saw Tom Welling in LA when we were touring, I nearly shouted 'Hey Tom, I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your fan'," Brittany said she and Quinn started laughing.

"God, Brit!" Quinn said in between laughs. It was funny, really, the way Brittany said it.

"I'd go straight for Tom Welling but be gay for Kristin Kreuk."

"You have a thing for brunettes," Quinn said.

"So do you," Brittany innocently shot back.

_Success!_

Finally, Brittany found an opportunity to make Quinn talk.

For the past few weeks, Quinn had been silent and it scared the hell out of Brittany. She knew that the best way to make people like Quinn – and Santana – talk about their feelings is to actually make them talk about it.

Brittany always tried to talk to her but these past few weeks, Quinn had been so repressed. She was so repressed that the only way she dealt with it was by throwing up.

Quinn just smiled at Brittany's success in diverting the conversation.

Of course, Quinn knew what Brittany was doing all along.

She smiled because she realized that Santana and Brittany were the people who balanced her life. Santana would just be the ever supportive best friend – not forcing her to talk when she didn't want to; but Brittany was the opposing force; she would force her to talk and rant because it was necessary.

Santana and Quinn were good friends with silence while Brittany and Quinn shared that friendship with brutal honesty and outlets.

"How are things with Santana?"

Quinn knew it was the most stupid question to ask because, _hello_, she's living with them. She mentally slapped herself for developing a talent of saying the wrong things. It was her final shot to avoid the conversation but she knew, very well, that Brittany was winning this.

"Good. We're still trying to find a match."

"Are you serious in getting a kid that looks like me?"

Brittany nodded as she smiled, "Don't ever tell Santana this but when I suggested that I wanted a blonde kid, she said she wants her with green eyes. San's going to kill me if she knew I told you about getting a mini-Quinn."

Quinn nearly laughed at this, "Ha! Santana loves me."

"She does but will never admit it for the life of her," Brittany said smilingly. "We both agreed that she'll carry our first baby but that's after she finishes Med school. For now, we're settling for adopted Quinn look alike's."

Quinn laughed at this, "Oh my God, you should see Beth."

There it was: the magic word that Brittany needed to spark the _talk_.

"How is she anyway?"

Quinn took a deep breath, "Fine."

"Quinn…"

Another breath, "Shelby called last night. She said the media has stopped after my mom held up a restraining order or something."

"And Rachel, how's she?"

"Fine. I guess."

"And you?"

Quinn faked a yawn. Maybe, her acting skills would do it. "Me? I'm sleepy. I think I'm going to –"

"Baby Q…" Brittany said sweetly.

_No one _can resist that infamous Brittany pout.

"Brits…"

"How are you?"

After feeling tense for a couple of minutes, she relaxed, "Getting better, I think."

"The bulimia's back. San told me."

"It keeps coming back every time I feel down. I think this is a recurring element of my existence."

Brittany looked at Quinn's face and saw her struggling to keep her emotions at bay. She sighed, "Do you remember when we talked on that boat?"

Quinn thought for a moment and recalled their conversation while they were boating in Central Park. _Remember the night when Rachel broke into an emotional Taylor Swift episode?_

"You told me that the only way to deal with pain is to deal with it face to face," Brittany said.

Quinn nodded.

"You're regressing, Q."

"I'm not. I just can't deal with it yet."

"You are regressing, slowly. You're giving us this excuse of trying to clear your head up so we won't force you on dealing with it like a mature woman."

"I am dealing with it in my own terms," Quinn said. She can't help that little HBIC tone because she didn't want this conversation.

"By what? By throwing up in the middle of the night? By not telling Rachel that the media is breaking you down into pieces? Quinn, this isn't the way to do it."

Quinn shot up from her comfortable position and detached herself from Brittany who was a little alarmed at how furious Quinn looked. "I don't have a fucking choice, Brit!" she almost yelled.

"That is exactly the point!" now they're yelling. "You do not have a choice so why are you stressing yourself about it!"

This shut Quinn up.

Why does Brittany seem to know _everything_?

Brittany stood from the couch and stood in front of Quinn who only pulled her feet up the couch and rested her forehead on her knees. She didn't want to meet Brittany's eyes because they're so honest.

"Why do you have to blame yourself for everything, Quinn?"

"Everything that Jacob said in that fucking blog was true."

"Yes, they are, and so?" Brittany said nonchalantly. She sat back beside Quinn and began drawing random patterns on her back. "They're true and they're in the past now."

"You don't understand, Britt," she said quietly. "The problem is me. I don't know how much of this I can take. I have tried, so hard, to protect the people around me because I have spent the past few years of my life hurting them, pushing them away."

Brittany was just looking at Quinn. She was in equal parts happy and sad. She was sad because Quinn was sad but she's happy because now, _they're talking_.

Brittany Pierce-Lopez has her ways.

"I feel so selfish, B. I wanted to be with Rachel so badly. I wanted the people to know about it because we both know it's important but it affected everyone around me – my mom, Beth, Shelby, Puck and now you and Santana," Quinn said as her voice broke. "I'm happy. At some point I was but there, it back fired to all the people who cared about me and suddenly, I felt like I'm burdening them again with the mess that I was when I first had this sickness."

"Q –"

"You don't understand, B."

"I do," Brittany said as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders. "When I decided that San is the one, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. She's a mess and her stressful life as a future doctor is something that I have to live up to. I feel small sometimes," Brittany said.

Quinn finally looked up and saw Brittany smiling sadly at her.

"When I met Santana's friends from NYU, I nearly cried."

Quinn crooked her eyebrows in effort to make sense of what Brittany was saying.

"They were talking about dead people's bodies," Brittany said as she jokingly grimaced to express how grossed out she felt.

It made Quinn smile a bit.

"They were talking about this stuff that I don't even understand and all of them are dating people who are lawyers, business professionals and other professions that I never heard of but sounded awesome."

Brittany pulled Quinn closer so the other blonde can rest her head on her shoulder, "And when Santana said I was a dancer, they all looked at me and they were like, 'what? I thought you were dating our fellow Med student'."

"They said that?"

"Yeah and they sounded so disappointed. It's crazy. When I look at Santana when she's buried in her books, I feel bad sometimes because she can never say that I am a future lawyer or doctor. When I come to her gatherings with her friends, I would feel small because San's world is something I'm not used to. It's something I don't know how function in."

Quinn swallowed. Brittany has this talent of making you feel related to her life story.

"You're lucky because you, you know how to operate under Rachel's world. Me? I'm clueless about Santana's. But when I married her, I also married the part of her that will be with her judgmental friends who looks at me in a hypercritical way every time I join them."

"You can always choose not come with them."

"See? That's where the difference lies. Even if they judge me over and over, they can't change the fact that Santana _is very much _in love with me. They can judge me all they want but I'm with them because I _am _Santana's partner. I'm not there to please them."

Again, Quinn found herself speechless. She finally got what Brittany was trying to say.

"I know it is hard Quinn especially that the people you love are being dragged into this. When you decided to love Rachel, you also decided to be dragged to whatever her life would bring; and when those people who love you chose to love you, they have prepared themselves for whatever your choices are. And if they really love you, they will never see it as a _burden_; they'll see it as a sign that they're part of your life."

Quinn's tears clouded her vision again.

"That's how San and I see it. That's how your mom, Puck and everyone else see it. As for Beth, she will not understand, _yet_ but she will someday. You don't have to stress yourself about us, we can handle it. When we chose to be part of your life, we also chose to bear the repercussions of the decisions you made and will be making. We love you like that."

"I'm sorry, B."

"I'm not. We're not. Will you stop thinking about us and just be in love with Rachel."

Quinn smiled and Brittany felt her smile.

"Love is like breathing."

Quinn waited for her to continue.

"You do it without thinking."

And here she was, again, possessed by the spirit of Nicholas Sparks.

"When I see you with Rachel, it reminds me of Santana in senior year. You're brave, Quinn. You're scared but you did it anyway. Not many people would do that. You've come a long way, Baby Q."

Quinn chuckled bitterly, "And it's only been two months."

"It's been two months of the crazy that is Rachel Berry!" Brittany said as she laughed. "It's gonna get better, Q. You just have to start thinking lighter or stop thinking at all. When I married San, I stopped thinking, although it didn't make that much difference to me."

Quinn sighed. She felt a little better. In all fairness to Brittany, she really knew how to talk.

"Instead of shutting us all down, let us in, Q," Brittany said. "Mommy Judy called Sanny yesterday. She told her that she'd been hanging out with Beth and Shelby."

Quinn looked at her in confusion. She didn't know this.

Brittany smiled, "Shelby took Beth to your mom because she wants to meet her real grandma and ask questions about her real momma."

This made Quinn smile, "Really?"

"Yeah and San said it was funny how happy Judy was. She can't tell you yet because you're going through a tough time and she's afraid that you'll take it differently. And you see? If you knew this before we talked, you're possibly going to take it negatively. Right?"

Quinn nodded sadly.

"But since you're here and you've let yourself understand that when the glass is half-empty it is also half-full, you were able to see that these current events in your life also brought the people you love together."

"I want to see a picture of my mom and Beth together."

"You should call Mommy Judy."

"Yeah, I will later."

"See? That's my Quinn; the one who knows how to smile despite her teary green eyes."

Quinn smiled.

"Stop shutting Rachel out, okay. Talk to her and make her a part of this. A relationship without trust is like an iPad without internet. There's nothing else you can do but play games."

Quinn laughed hopelessly because admit it, it made sense.

"You have to trust Rachel as much as she trusted you with her issues. Quinn, you love her. It's all that should matter. The way you love her is not a feeling, Q. It's not an emotion. It's an ability."

Quinn nodded, teacher Brit was lecturing her.

"And this, this scared Quinn here is stuck. Q, the first step towards getting somewhere is deciding that you aren't staying where you are."

Quinn smiled again as she smiled, "Why do have to say the right things, B?"

"Because I'm awesome."

Quinn laughed, "Yeah, you are."

"And Quinn?"

Quinn looked at her.

"You just have to accept that to get what is worth having, it might be necessary to lose everything else."

o-o-o-o-o

The next few days were crucial for both Rachel and Quinn. They have talked about everything that had happened since Jacob's blog broke and Quinn shared how much it was damaging her.

Rachel listened to every single bit of it and despite the appalling situation, she felt herself falling further for Quinn. It was always different whenever Quinn would open up, when Quinn would let her in because she felt how much Quinn needed her.

A few more weeks passed and the talks slowly died. Quinn even stopped her from releasing an official statement because it will only give the media more reasons to talk about them. Carla listened to Quinn, of course; she still considered her as the boss.

Rachel just settled for a "You don't fall in love with people's past. You fall in love with your future with them" post in Twitter. It was her way to tell the world that she didn't care about Quinn's past. It was her way of not caring. It worked,anyway.

As the talks slowly died, Quinn also slowly learned to live up to every change that dating Rachel brought.

The paparazzi kind of followed her whenever she was in WPIX events. The paparazzi swarmed around them every time they went out on dates but somehow, although Rachel never said or promised anything, Rachel had her ways of assuring Quinn that everything was fine.

Every time that the paparazzi surrounded them, Rachel never took her hand off Quinn's and was actually the one who was dragging her around; trying to keep the paparazzi out of the way. Every time they went out for walks, Rachel would put a protective arm around her waist assuring her that she wasn't gonna leave her.

Months passed and their relationship had been steady. Aside from the paparazzi, there hadn't been anymore problems. Shelby called Quinn and told her that Beth was doing fine and was enjoying visiting Judy every once in a while; even Rachel's fathers started to take Beth around town and shop for her. It relieved Quinn and this news had slowly stopped the effects of bulimia. In a few months, Quinn was back in shape and seeing the improvement, Rachel and Santana decided to postpone the therapy talk.

It had been four months since Quinn said yes and it had been four months since Rachel got the girl.

The road was kind of bumpy but it was worth it.

It was amazing how those four trying and beautiful months were able to erase the five years of emptiness she felt. Yes, Quinn still has her mood swings; yes, she still gets jealous every time someone comes up to Quinn; yes, the days weren't so easy but with Quinn by her side, Rachel learned that she can be strong for them.

The small kisses, the little make out sessions, the sleepovers were the things that kept her together.

Quinn went back to her busy life in WPIX as Rachel closed out Lilibeth with a bang. She went on a two-week break before going to light readings with the Miss Saigon cast. They were back to normal and everything was perfect in her life.

_She still had one more problem, though._

And finally, after weeks of trying to fight it, _she gave in_.

o-o-o-o-o

After deciding she can't handle _it _anymore, she found herself waiting for Santana and Brittany at a small time coffee shop near NYU.

She cannot think of anyone to talk about it with because Kurt would grimace at the thought and she can't tell Quinn. _God, no. Not Quinn._

After a few more minutes of nervous anticipation, Santana and Brittany arrived. Brittany was beaming while Santana was just plainly annoyed.

"Bitch, please," Santana said as she pulled a chair. "I don't understand what you need me for. We know I cannot help you with anything unless it involves _sex_."

Brittany and Santana sat down as Rachel's entire body froze.

She doesn't know if she was bushing or if her blood got drained out of her face.

When she didn't say a word, Brittany's eyes grew comically wide as Santana tried to suppress a laugh with that smirk on her face.

"Oh," Santana managed, still with that smirk.

"It is about _that_," Brittany said.

_Yeah, it is about that._

Rachel had been trying to abstain herself from the temptation every time their make out sessions get a little too… hot.

She pulled away every time she would feel throbbing in between her legs in the middle of all the hot kisses that Quinn had been giving her. _God! _Just thinking about it made her feel a little dirty.

She wasn't innocent about _that_. She had one night stands in the past couple of years when she got too lonely. Most of the times, it was with her guy cast mates – or girls. But since Quinn came back a few months ago, she had been sexually frustrated.

Quinn is, of course, the only person she wanted to do _it_ with.

But Rachel was afraid that Quinn wasn't ready. She was afraid to push it with her so, she controlled herself. She even went as far as thinking about Coach Beiste every time she felt she was getting carried away.

The problem was that her mental mailman chants weren't working anymore. That's why she was here, with Santana and Brittany, about to have the most embarrassing talk of her entire existence.

"You…" Santana trailed off with that playful tone. "You haven't done the deed," she added as she playfully wiggled her eyebrows.

"And she wants to have sex with Quinn," Brittany said grinning.

"Brit!" Rachel almost yelled. "Please! Let's not make direct reference to that or at least don't say it in the same sentence as Quinn's name."

"Wanky, wanky," Santana teased.

"Santana, please; don't embarrass me any more than I already feel right now. Just…" she sighed, "help me."

Santana chuckled, "What exactly do you need us for?"

Rachel just sighed because seriously? How do you tell the best friends of your girlfriend that you want to _do it _with their best friend?

Brittany just smiled, "Quinn is quite a fan of tradition when it comes to that. I should know. We watch a lot of romantic movies together. Candles, flowers and a romantic dinner will do. Just be careful not to appear too nervous about it."

Rachel turned to her with in mixed awe and confusion.

"Also try not to overdo it. You have that the tendency to overact when you're too excited," Santana offered as she sipped from the glass of water. She raised her hand to get the attention of the nearby waiter.

The table was silent for a moment while Santana dictated their orders. When the waiter went off, Santana turned to Rachel, leaning her back to her chair as she folded her arms in front of her chest.

"Be gentle with her," Santana said ignoring the fact that it sounded _so _wrong.

Rachel turned to her and saw that protective best friend look on her face, "Is she ready?"

Santana nearly laughed, "We spent five years together but the last time I checked, we don't share brains or sexual organs."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Please, keep it PG."

"Okay, let me get this straight, Streisand," Santana said as she cleared her throat. "If you're gonna have sex with Quinn, you have to be mature about it. Like it or not, _you _and you're naughty man hands are gonna lead this thing."

Brittany just laughed as Rachel removed her hands from the table and placed it on her lap, trying to hide the embarrassment as well.

"What if I scare her away?"

"Does she pull away when things get beyond innocent?" Brittany asked.

Rachel shook her head, "No. I do because I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to help myself."

"The fact that she's not pulling away says that maybe, she _is _ready," Brittany assumed.

"But…" Santana immediately followed, "We'll never know unless _you _make the move. You two should learn this thing called _talking_."

"San's right. If she's not ready, she'll pull away. And if she does pull away, you just have to respect it. Things operate like that in Quinn's life."

Santana just nodded and Rachel was left inside her head.

_Am I really about to set up an entire scene in effort to seduce Quinn?_

Santana's cleared her throat as she spoke in a softer voice, "I'll let you in on a secret, Berry."

Rachel turned to her.

"Quinn hasn't had sex since Puck."

Both Rachel and Brittany's eyes grew wide.

_That was… years ago._

Rachel didn't know what to say because…

_Really?_

"So yeah, I'm just warning you because _it _means a lot to her."

"I –"

"You don't have to pretend like you're not amused," Santana rolled her eyes. "Believe me, it amuses me _every _time."

_Because really? Six years?_

"Here's the thing, Rachel Barbra Berry. _This_, thing you're trying to get you both into, is something that is sacred to Quinn. If she decides to do it, be gentle. Don't go forcing her into things. Make it special. It's you're first time anyway. I don't know if you're gonna believe this coming from me, but my first time with Brit was the most special."

Rachel's features softened as Brittany almost cooed.

"You're not gonna get another first time with her."

Rachel smiled. Well, this is Santana.

"But if she says no, don't feel bad about it. She needs time for all things. I'm surprised she doesn't need time to decide what glass to use when she's drinking water."

Rachel chuckled.

_That helped_.

Brittany, who was on Rachel's left, reached out for her hand and squeezed it, "She loves the smell of vanilla and Quinn loves listening to Jazz when her mood is a little…"

The blonde just trailed off with a smile as the waiter came with their orders and left after serving it.

"Can we not mention this again?" Santana said as she started with her slice of Blueberry Cheesecake. "Now that I think about it, the thought of Berry getting it on with Q makes me want to drown myself."

Rachel and Brittany just laughed.

Well, Rachel's got some seducing to do.

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel didn't waste any time.

After just a night of contemplating if she was ready for _this _step with Quinn, she decided that _she _was indeed ready.

It was Friday and she and Quinn didn't plan anything aside from a casual dinner with Carla and Charles but Rachel called it off. She sent a bouquet of red roses to Quinn's office with a note saying:

**_Change of plans. See you in my place tonight. x_**

**_- Rachel_**

She knew that Quinn would feel she had something planned because she never really changed their Friday night plans. But she did it anyway because well, she was feeling lucky.

Her luck brought her at the foot of her stairs – a bouquet of roses in one hand and her whole life on the other. Clad in her sexiest black dress and her simple pair of stilettos, Rachel tried to fight the nervousness she was feeling.

There were so many questions in her mind but she followed everything that Brittany advised her to do and that helped calm her. Of course, she wanted to do _it_, with her. Aside from _it _being an important step in their relationship, it was mostly because she wanted Quinn – all of her.

Yes, it was a tad selfish but Rachel knew Quinn would understand. It wasn't just about the want to take over Quinn's body, it was about the _need _to feel that Quinn was _hers _because Rachel knew, she was sure that she was Quinn's to claim.

A part of her also thought that the _need _was about being sexually frustrated but she realized that she was sexually frustrated because she was in love with Quinn, so much that she needed to make Quinn feel it – more than words and sweet deeds.

So, there she was, in a middle of a candle lit room and few feet away from a nicely set dinner table for two; heart pounding against her chest, mind running a mile an hour.

_Here goes nothing_.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn wasn't sure why Rachel would cancel their plans. She never really cancelled Friday night plans but she followed her instincts anyway. She knew that when Rachel cancels, it would be because it was important.

She just hoped it wasn't any drama because the past few weeks had been good. It had been steady and she felt as if their relationship was starting to bloom – the way it should have been a few years or maybe, a lot more than that.

So, there she was, walking towards Rachel's apartment in her white form-fitting black and white dress, ready for the diva's surprise. She unlocked the door with her key and before she could say her usual "Rach, I'm here", she was taken by surprise.

The room was dim and was lit by just vanilla-scented candles. She walked down the short path towards the living room and instantly saw Rachel standing at the foot of the staircase with a bouquet of flowers in one hand.

"Who wears that on a board meeting with middle aged men?" Rachel asked in a teasing tone. But Quinn knew, soon as she saw that different kind of spark in Rachel's eyes, that the brunette was up to something.

Quinn just smiled and looked at her somewhat nervous girlfriend, "Hello to you, too, Rachel."

Rachel walked towards Quinn as she gave her the bouquet of red roses.

"What's with the red roses baby?"

Rachel just smiled. She was nervous but man the length – or the lack of it – of Quinn's dress didn't help calm her senses.

The Jazz music played softly in the background. _Oh God, what would I do without timers?_

"May I have this dance?"

Quinn just looked confused at first but then decided to play along.

"Of course, baby."

Rachel took the bouquet from Quinn along with her keys and handbag, placed it on the nearby couch and then went back to Quinn.

"What's this about, Rach?"

_Remember, don't break the news right away. Just let the flirting live._

As Brittany's voice echoed in her head, Rachel took Quinn's hands and placed it on her hipds as she put her arms around Quinn's neck. They started to sway along with the Jazz and for one moment, Rachel closed her eyes because she wanted to remember this forever.

After this night, her life and her relationship with Quinn would change forever.

When she opened her eyes, she was instantly met by Quinn's hazel orbs, "Care to tell what's -"

"Shhhhh," Rachel shushed Quinn as she kissed her gently on the lips. "In junior prom, I really wanted just _one _dance," Rachel said as she smiled. This is true. A lot of things happened on that night but it was all she wished for.

"I slapped you."

"I remember that and actually, I didn't mind. My God, Quinn! I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Not one slap will change the way I feel about you and how much I wanted to kill Finn for his behavior that led you to being alone in that prom photo!"

Quinn chuckled, "You still remember that."

"I remember the smallest things, baby."

They continued to dance with the music.

"But the biggest missed opportunity of my life would be senior year prom," Rachel sighed as she recalled that night.

"And why is that?"

"I can still remember that dress you wore. That peach dress looked so perfect on you along with the corsage that I bought for you, although you went to prom with Sam."

"When I asked you to pick my corsage for me, I was already giving you the 'hey Rachel, ask me to prom' signal."

"I know and I feel so stupid. Every time I remember that night, I remember almost breaking down because everyone got to dance with you but I never did. You even danced with Santana - that's the worst part."

"Is this your way of getting all those dances back?"

"Yes. And also your Acquaintance Party in your college freshman year, your Sophomore's Year Dance, your University Night on your college junior year and your Graduation Ball."

Quinn chuckled, "How did you know about all these... dances?"

"Santana. She practically cried when she told me that you missed the second and third ones."

"Yeah. It was a tough time."

"Well, baby. This night is equivalent to all those nights I should have been your date and danced with you."

Quinn smiled, "It's worth the wait then."

"It sure is," Rachel smiled as she leaned in for another kiss.

"Do you have those kind of dances in Julliard?"

"If we had one, I'm sure I missed it. I was too busy perfecting my vibrato," Rachel said jokingly. "I wouldn't have gone anyway."

"Why not?"

"I was saving my first dance for you."

Quinn stopped swaying with her for a moment and looked at Rachel.

"This is my first dance, Quinn."

Quinn's eyes grew wide in surprise and adoration.

"Baby..." Rachel said as she pulled Quinn closer and started dancing slowly again. "I sang on stage in Junior Prom. The dance with Jesse didn't really count since Finn came and made a scene. Senior year, I was practically dancing with everybody else. That dance with Puck didn't really count because his eyes were on you and we were talking about you and I was thinking of you -"

Rachel's story was cut with Quinn's lips on hers. She smiled onto the kiss, "I wished you kissed me when I talked a lot in high school."

Quinn laughed, "Rachel Berry, I'm honored to be your first dance and if I kissed you in high school, you would have died early in your life."

Rachel and Quinn laughed at that and they both knew that the night was perfect.

Dinner came next and Rachel was just so happy that Quinn was impressed with her Asparagus Cream Pasta and the 15-year old wine her fathers sent her a few weeks ago.

They barely talked, just exchanging intense gazes.

Somehow, Quinn knew where Rachel was leading this.

The way Rachel looked at her was filled with so much want, so much passion. It wasn't the first time she saw Rachel looking at her like this. There were various times, countless moments that Quinn felt as if Rachel wanted more than what she could give.

She was thankful that Rachel respected her but this time, she knew it was going to be more than just self-control.

After a few silent talks about nothing in particular, Rachel and Quinn found themselves dancing to that slow Jazz again.

This time, they weren't talking. Rachel was just gently playing with Quinn's hair and Quinn's hands were just resting on Rachel's waist.

Maybe it was the candle lights around them or the vanilla scent but Rachel looked 10 times beautiful to Quinn.

"You're beautiful, Rach."

Rachel just smiled shyly.

_When you're nearing the moment, shut your fucking mouth. I would never say this again but it kind of turns me on when you're acting shy._

Santana's words echoed inside her head. She felt ridiculous but all of their tips seemed to work so far.

_Take it slowly but surely._

These were the Pierce-Lopez' final tip.

Rachel looked up and met Quinn's eyes, "You're the most beautiful girl I've met, Quinn."

Quinn just smiled as Rachel pulled Quinn closer that their bodies touched. She kissed her forehead, then her nose, and finally, her lips.

The blonde responded. It started slow and innocent but as Rachel asked for entrance, she felt Quinn's grip tighten on her hips.

Rachel grasped Quinn's hair to maintain her sanity because Quinn's lips were driving her crazy. They went on exchanging hot kisses and their eager tongues triggered their senses. Their make out sessions would usually start this way.

Rachel then moved to trace wet kisses down Quinn's jaw, down to her neck. When the blonde tilted her head to give Rachel more access, the brunette immediately grabbed chance.

As Rachel sucked on that part of Quinn's neck, she felt Quinn tense at first but eventually relaxed when Rachel just kissed the spot gently and said, "That's going to mark, baby."

Quinn smiled and recognized the want in Rachel's tone.

Rachel's hands were now around Quinn and the blonde's were suddenly around Rachel's neck for support.

The diva went back to Quinn's lips and kissed it with so much passion and want that Quinn's knees went weak.

They lost balance until they were on the couch. Quinn was sitting and Rachel was all over her, kissing her from her lips down to her neck, and back.

All the while, Quinn's hands were on Rachel's tighs and Rachel's hands were... everywhere. When Quinn moaned against her lips, Rachel felt a little more braver, a tad more confident.

Both girls were feeling hot and caught in the moment.

There were so many times that Quinn found herself lost and dizzy in Rachel's kisses. She was a damned good kisser and Rachel's lips always gave her the chills. She never pulled away before because Rachel made it impossible. The way Rachel kissed her was too good to be true.

She was glad that Rachel respected her because if the diva pushed _it, _they could have done _it_ a long, long time ago, when she wasn't ready - just like that with Puck.

And she didn't want that for them. Rachel didn't deserve that.

But this time, Rachel didn't seem as if she would pull away. Rachel's eyes were full of want, her body was warm and Quinn was sure Rachel wanted to do _it _tonight.

_Am I ready?_

Was she ready to let Rachel have it?

Was she ready to take that step with Rachel?

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

Quinn didn't realize that all her thinking stopped her from responding to Rachel.

"I'm sorry," Quinn said as she kissed Rachel again and the diva just went back to what she was doing previously - kissing the life out of Quinn.

It was when Rachel reached for the back zipper of her dress that it snapped on Quinn.

"Rachel," Quinn said in between breaths.

Both girls were panting. It was one hell of a make out session.

Rachel immediately stopped zipping down the back of Quinn's dress and then settled on Quinn's lap with her thighs on both sides of Quinn's. She was startled with when Quinn called her name. She was disappointed because yeah, maybe Quinn didn't want to do it.

But their compromising position didn't help calm her down.

Rachel looked embarrassed. She didn't want to push it with Quinn, "I'm sorry, Quinn. I should have asked, I -"

"I just didn't want to do it on the couch."

Rachel's eyes grew wide at what Quinn said. _Did Quinn just..._

"I love you, Rachel."

Rachel's heart ran to the ends of the worlds. _Did Quinn just..._

Rachel smiled, "I love you, so much, Quinn Fabray."

That and Rachel pulled Quinn into a deep kiss resuming their unfinished business.

"Quinn?" Rachel called when they parted for air.

"Hmmmm?"

"Are you sure?"

Quinn smiled, "I am."

It was true. She was ready to give herself to Rachel.

She's Rachel's to claim, anyway.

Rachel kissed her gently.

"Rach?"

"Hmmm?"

"I might be bad at it."

Rachel wasn't able to help the smile that made its way to her face. Quinn was just adorable.

She cupped Quinn's face with both of her hands, "You can never be bad at something you're doing out of love."

Rachel then stood and reached out Quinn's hand. Quinn took it and let the brunette lead her to the bedroom.

Once they stepped foot inside the vanilla-scented, candle-lit room, Rachel closed the door.

And as they say it, when doors closed, more windows of opportunity opens. As that door shut behind them, Rachel and Quinn turned another chapter of their story.

_New territories, new opportunities. New beginnings._

And out of all the many new beginnings that Rachel and Quinn had, this is the new beginning that they'll treasure the most

The night when Rachel and Quinn became a part of each other – for good.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Well, that's about the whole "thing". I just can't really write "that" kind of scene for FaBerry. It's too sacred for me so I didn't go in deep details. I hope you understand. I'll just leave it to your imagination. Haha.<em>**

**_For the next chapter: Certain events would make Rachel want to take... another step.  
><em>**


	52. Chapter 52: No, It's Not Christmas

**A/N: Here's another chapter and the delay was because of endless travelling. Forgive me. Again, THANK YOU for keeping up with me.**

**So here's another chapter.**

**I remember once, someone said that Rachel's Hummer was OOC. Well, it will now be explained in this chapter. I hope it makes sense to you guys because it makes sense to me. HAHA. : ) *winks**

* * *

><p>The first time it crossed her mind was six months ago.<p>

It was six months ago when she, Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Kurt and Blaine visited a high-end gay bar downtown NY. She could still remember that night simply because she had never seen Quinn that... flirty.

It's been another six months since that night but Rachel could still remember the pang in her stomach seeing Quinn dancing gloriously flirtatious with at least four random girls in the bar.

She was so mad but couldn't bring it up to Quinn because Santana would say, "It's a gay bar Berry. She doesn't have a tag that says 'Back the fuck off because I'm taken'." Then, in the middle of her frustration about the whole flirty drunk Quinn, Brittany altered her life in a nonchalant way of saying "You know what they say, if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."

She looked at the bubbly blonde and realized the wedding ring in her finger which was similar to Santana's. That's the reason why no other girls tried to flirt with them or at least, no one went as far as those random girls that Quinn danced with. Kurt and Blaine also had similar rings; they have been engaged when the New Year entered.

Sorry for not mentioning that time passed already since Rachel and Quinn got together and since their first time.

Time passed by so swiftly because their relationship had been steady. If anything, it had been amazing. By November, Quinn took Rachel as her date to WPIX's Halloween Party – which she organized. By December, Quinn and Rachel went to Barcelona for Rachel's birthday (December 18th) and went home straight to Springfield to celebrate Hanukkah with Frannie's family, Judy and Rachel's dads. When the New Year approached, Rachel and Quinn headed back to Lima. The Berrys celebrated the New Year in the Fabray mansion.

Half-way through January, Miss Saigon opened and got huge. Blaine got huge, too. By February, Rachel took Quinn to a date for Valentines. She rented an entire drive-in theater just to watch Casper with Quinn and they somehow, ended up doing _it_ in the back seat of Rachel's Hummer. It was one hell of a Valentines date.

For the rest of March, April and May, Quinn went all busy with her job as Rachel just continued with Miss Saigon (which closed with a bang in May). Rachel, all the while, was left looking for signs that it was time to tie the knot with Quinn.

It had been a year since she and Quinn got together and Rachel knew, she was sure, that she was ready for that. After that romantic getaway with Quinn to Venice for their anniversary and Quinn's birthday, Rachel knew she only needed one more push to put a ring on it. Yeah, those words from Brittany six months ago stuck in her.

"Are you okay, Rach?" Quinn asked.

Rachel didn't realize she was lost in her thoughts until Quinn spoke. Quinn was looking at her peeking up from the book she had been reading for nearly an hour already. They were in the waiting area of JFK Airport waiting for Rachel's dads to arrive. They'll be staying with Rachel for a week because they said they had a surprise for her.

Rachel agreed because she knew, that with whatever was going on inside her head, she really needed to talk to her fathers.

o-o-o-o-o

In a matter of minutes, Rachel saw her fathers walking toward them. Leroy with their bags at hand Hiram with... _is that a baby stroller he's pushing_?

Rachel's eyes grew wide. _Is this the surprise_?

Seeing Rachel's reaction, Quinn followed the brunette's line of vision and then, made the same reaction, only, after her eyes grew wide, Quinn's features relaxed and Rachel swore she saw an excited look on her eyes.

Leroy and Hiram finally made it to where they were and before Rachel could say anything, Hiram started, "I know, I know you are surprised baby girl."

Rachel looked at her fathers who shared excited smiles as she turned to the baby in the stroller and instantly cooed at the sight. The baby was sleeping. She looked a lot like Beth – who looked like Quinn – only, her hair wasn't blonde. She had brown hair and she was wearing this cute red dress.

"Dad? Daddy? Why do you have a baby with you?"

Quinn nearly laughed at Rachel's reaction but the baby in the stroller won her heart already. She knelt down and just smilingly caressed the baby's face as Rachel just looked at Quinn and the baby.

For a moment there, she had images of having a family with Quinn.

_Is this the sign?_

Hiram cleared his throat to get Rachel's attention back, "She's Stephanie. She's one year and a half. We call her Steph all the time and –"

"Dad?"

"We adopted her two months ago," Leroy said once and for all.

Quinn beamed, "She's beautiful."

Rachel looked at Quinn and Steph again. She wasn't sure if the smile on her face was caused by the new baby girl in her fathers' life or if it was because of Quinn's softness with her baby sister.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rachel asked as they started walking out of the airport.

Quinn instantly took the duty of pushing the stroller as Hiram and Leroy scooted closer to Rachel. She was talking to her dads but Rachel didn't miss the delight in Quinn's eyes.

"We wanted to surprise you," Leroy said.

"That's the reason why you haven't called me in months!"

"We got a little distracted. She's a very cheerful child."

"Dad, she's one year old."

"You were already cheerful at two months old."

"We also didn't want you to stop us from looking a kid that looks like your girlfriend."

Quinn chuckled at that, "All the kids look like me now."

"Your dad wanted a blonde kid but I stopped him. We don't want her questioning her hair since there aren't many blondes in the family," Leroy said as he smiled.

"Brit and San's kid, Lily, whom they also adopted a month ago, also looks like Quinn," Rachel said in frustration. "How about _our_ future kids? They'll look like everybody else."

_Did she just talk about their future kids?_

Leroy and Hiram just laughed, while Quinn, for some reason, blushed.

o-o-o-o-o

They were all enjoying a good conversation at Rachel's living room that afternoon when Steph woke up and cried non-stop.

None of the Berry men could stop her from crying.

"Oh God. She's throwing tantrums," Leroy hopelessly said as he walked back to the group from Brittany's former room cradling Stephanie in his huge arms.

Quinn, who was sitting beside Rachel, stood and took Stephanie from Leroy. She began humming a lullaby as she cradled the tiny girl in her arms resting her head on her shoulder.

Stephanie wrapped her tiny arms around Quinn's neck and soon, Stephanie's tears subsided as she contentedly rested her head on Quinn's shoulder.

Leroy, Hiram and Rachel just watched Quinn and Stephanie.

"Quinn, you're amazing with her," Rachel said as sighed.

_Oh God. Is this the sign? Really?_

Quinn just smiled as she continued humming the lullaby. She then moved toward the kitchen, still with Steph in her arms, to get her bottle and feed her.

From where they were sitting, Rachel just watched Quinn be all amazing with Stephanie.

_She's amazing with her._

The scene that unfolded in front of Rachel gave her more reasons to... propose.

She can't help but imagine that Stephanie was _their_ kid and Quinn is her... wife.

_Wife._

They say it's in the smallest of moments that you realize what you really want and it snapped on Rachel on that moment. On that moment when Quinn held Stephanie in her arms, Rachel knew one thing: _she wants to spend the rest of her life with Quinn._

Rachel's heart started beating faster as she looked lovingly at Quinn and Stephanie. Maybe, this is indeed the sign she had been waiting for.

"Dad, Daddy," Rachel called as she took a deep breath.

Both Leroy and Hiram turned to her.

"We need to talk."

o-o-o-o-o

That night, Rachel couldn't hold it in anymore.

She opened a bottle of champagne and consumed it while her dads were in Brittany's former room with Quinn and Stephanie.

She had been thinking, no, she had been asking herself if Quinn was ready to... settle down.

_Of course, Rachel is._

Looking back at all the things that she and Quinn went through, from senior year to the present, it sure was one hell of a rollercoaster ride; not to mention their relationship prior to senior year.

Rachel Berry is ready to marry Quinn Fabray. That's one thing she was sure about.

The day she asked her to be her girlfriend was the same day she swore that Quinn is the _one_. Ha, after all that they've been through, it has to end there. It just had to end there – at the Hamptons, in Quinn's dream wedding.

_Was it too early?_

They're somehow at the perfect age to marry. She's earning more than enough and so Quinn does; money will never be an issue.

But was Quinn ready for that level of commitment?

She even refused to move in when Rachel asked her a few months back. Was Rachel the _one_ for her? Was she willing to walk that aisle and tie herself to Rachel forever, in every sense of the word?

Because hell, Rachel was so damned ready to call her Mrs. Quinn Berry or Quinn Fabray-Berry. It doesn't matter what way Quinn would put it, she just wanted to put her last name after Quinn's name.

Perhaps, it's what they call the mid-life crisis.

She's almost 26, is this mid-life already? Or quarter life? _Whatever._

She wasn't sure but her inner debate partner had risen so many issues that she herself cannot answer alone. She freakin' needed to ask Quinn.

But what if the blonde says no?

Rachel was sure she wasn't ready to know that Quinn wasn't ready to be her wife. She wasn't sure how well she could take a rejected wedding proposal.

She loves Quinn but does Quinn love her... to _that _extent?

Her thoughts were interrupted when a hand tapped her shoulder. She turned to see who it was and found her Daddy smiling. Leroy put her arm around Rachel's shoulders as he stood beside him. The huge difference in their sizes reflected in the glass window that Rachel's been in front of for the past two hours.

"Where's Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"She fell asleep with Stephanie. The kid won't let go of her."

"She has a way with kids. I didn't really realize she loved children."

Leroy smiled, "Yeah. She'd make up a good mom."

Rachel took a deep breath and let it out audibly.

"What's with the sigh, baby girl?"

"Nothing," she lied. Frankly, the thought of Quinn being good around kids has sparked that part of her that wanted to marry Quinn so bad.

"Your dad must have fallen asleep with them, too. She's too fond of Stephanie and Quinn."

Rachel just smiled. That's another factor that sparked her want to marry Quinn – her dads love Quinn so much.

"You've been awfully silent since we arrived here, Rachel. What's the matter? Are you upset at us because we didn't tell you about Steph?"

"How did you know that Dad is the one?" Rachel asked completely ignoring her Daddy's question.

Leroy tentatively looked at Rachel and when he realized that the girl was asking a serious question, he looked out the window and took a deep breath. "I've always known he was the one."

Rachel waited for him to continue.

"The moment I asked him to be my boyfriend, I've known that he's the one."

"What pushed you to ask him to marry you?"

Leroy instantly looked at Rachel and his eyes glittered in an instant. He knew what Rachel was thinking. He got excited but tried to hide it, "I think, marriage was a matter of time. He and I were having such a great time together as boyfriends. Our relationship was fantastically steady. My parents loved him, his parents loved me. There wasn't an "if" or "should", the real question was "when"."

Rachel looked at her father for a moment, "I don't get it, Daddy."

"You know," he tightened his grip onto Rachel's shoulder. "There's a point in a couple's relationship that there's nowhere else to go. It's either you break up or you get married. When your relationship is going great, it's usually the first ring of the wedding bells."

Rachel smiled.

"But there are also those instances that it just snaps in you," he said. "That moment when you realize that you want this person in your life forever and when you think about it, you've always known that that person is the one. You just needed one last push."

Rachel decided not to answer. Her situation is a combination of both.

"Your Dad and I have been together for five years before we got married."

Now, that's where Rachel looked at her Daddy. Does she have to wait for four more years to ask Quinn?

Before Rachel could jump to conclusions, Leroy said, "But that was because gay marriage wasn't that popular during our time."

"If gay marriage was legal at the first year of your relationship, would you have asked him sooner?"

Leroy nodded, "Like I told you, I have been sure of him ever since the moment I asked him to be in a relationship with me."

Rachel took a deep breath.

"Marriage, Rachel, isn't a matter of how long you have been together. It's a feeling, it's a sense of security and finality."

Leroy looked at his daughter and smiled. He realized how much she has grown up. From being that 16-year old who was obsessed with gold stars to being that person who got into Julliard; to being that person who made it to Broadway. And now, her baby girl was talking about marriage.

He knew his daughter very well to know what she was thinking. He knew that Rachel would never talk about something if there was nothing in there for her. Leroy knew that this conversation was just more than curiosity.

He squeezed Rachel's shoulder, "You know, when your Daddy and I were planning our wedding, I told him what I wanted. I told him I wanted something elegant with our family and friends. Then, I asked him the kind of wedding he wished for. Do you know what he said?"

Rachel smirked, "Did he discuss the details chunk by chunk?"

Leroy chuckled, "He said he wanted the one that would make me his husband."

Rachel's heart warmed at that. Her Dad Hiram was the more detailed one, the one that Rachel got most of her attitude from but she didn't expect that. Out of the many things she knew about her fathers' relationship, that was something new to her.

"That was sweet."

Leroy nodded, again, "Out of all his annoying traits, I admit that was sweet."

"You married him even though he was so annoying."

"I wanted him to annoy me forever."

They both laughed.

"Would you like to ask Quinn if she'd like you to annoy her forever?"

Rachel didn't know if she wanted to laugh. It was funny but at the same time, her dad dropped the bomb on her.

She wanted to annoy Quinn forever, yes. That truth was apparent.

Realizing that Rachel was left inside her head, Leroy cleared his throat, "Come with me."

Leroy took Rachel's hand with his as he gently dragged her toward Brittany's old bedroom. He opened the door softly, trying not to make any sound that will disturb the three sleeping people in the bedroom.

Hiram was sleeping on the couch adjacent to the bed as Quinn snuggled with Steph on the bed with pillows around her to keep her from rolling off. Rachel and Leroy just stared at them smilingly until Rachel broke the silence.

"God, she's beautiful."

Leroy smiled, "She is."

"Do you think you can wake up seeing that face first thing in the morning for the next few years and never get tired of it?"

Rachel smiled her swoon smile, "Yes, Daddy. Yes."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"I don't know if she's ready or if she is, will I be enough? What if it doesn't work? What if the past haunts us? Or what if it was bound to fail miserably? Wha –"

"Woah," Leroy said as he calmed Rachel down. "Slow down. Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

Rachel sighed, "I'm just confused, Daddy."

"You're not confused. You're simply justifying. It's just a Berry thing to do, or at least a Rachel thing to do."

"What?"

"Rachel, you're not confused. You know exactly what you want. Rachel Berry always knows what she wants."

Rachel nodded. Even after all this time, that was still true.

"You just don't trust yourself that much. For a person who has lived her life with a huge amount of self-confidence, you're pretty low with self-esteem when it comes to your relationship with Quinn."

The pair moved out of the room and walked back to the living room. Leroy sat on the recliner as Rachel buried herself on the couch.

"Our history is very complicated," Rachel said huffing.

"Still, it's history."

"Still, it's complicated."

Leroy chuckled. This is the part he became sure that Rachel is his daughter.

"What if –"

"Rachel," he called. "You never asked 'what if I didn't make it to Broadway'. You always knew you'd get there."

"Quinn is not a career."

"No, she's not, dear. Quinn is a _dream_."

Rachel instantly turned to her father and her tears welled in an instant.

He was right.

Seventeen-year old Rachel never wanted Broadway as a career. It was her dream. It was what made up her life. It was something she always wanted; something she worked hard for; something she gave up everything for.

Now, 25-year old Rachel has a new dream. It's Quinn.

Leroy smiled for probably the nth time that night. He knew he said the right words.

"The things about justifying your feelings and rationalizing possible outcomes are that they automatically put you on the defense and lock you away. They also over-complicate things. Like what I've said, marriage is a feeling. If it feels right, you just have to put yourself out there. You love her right?"

Rachel nodded.

"Do you trust her?"

Again, Rachel nodded.

"I don't see any reason for this engagement not to happen."

Despite her tear-clouded vision, Rachel looked at her father and she was instantly reminded of the nature of her fathers' relationship. They weren't perfect individuals but they were perfect for each other.

"Do you think she will say yes?"

Leroy shrugged, "I'm not the one in a relationship with her. If there's anyone of us who knows that, it would be you. Do you think she'll say yes?"

Rachel didn't answer. She really didn't know. She hoped but as Santana would say it, Quinn feared anything with punctuations. She feared anything that tied her up to something. Was Rachel one of those? That she didn't know.

When Rachel didn't answer, Leroy continued, "Do you think you can live without her?"

"God. No!" Rachel's reply was immediate. She answered without second thoughts because it was a no brainer. She can't live without Quinn.

She needed Quinn like Tinkerbell needed applause to live. She needed Quinn like the moon needed the sun. She loved her like a love song.

Rachel had to stop herself from laughing at the Selena Gomez reference. Her brain was train wreck already.

"You don't marry a person because you can live with them. You marry the person because you can't live without them," said Leroy.

It was all Rachel needed.

She smiled and Leroy, once again, knew that he said the right things.

"So, when are we shopping for the ring?"

o-o-o-o-o

"I swear to God, Quinn. That kid will reign in high school," Santana said as she slumped on the sofa.

Brittany just went out to take 2-year old Lily on a run at the park (_yeah, with Rachel's enthusiastic advises, Brittany decided to train Lily early_), so Santana found herself some quiet time with Quinn who only smiled, "You love her."

"I do but sometimes, she could be hard to bear with. You spoiled her! Q! I can almost see your signature pout in her!" Santana complained but she was rather soft, like she didn't really hate it.

"You should see the look on your face right now, San. It's epic."

"Continue teasing me, Fabray. Keep on doing that and I might have to add that to my list of revenge reasons once you marry the midget."

Quinn, for some reason, just smiled and blushed.

_Wait._

_ Did Quinn just smile at the mention of marriage?_

Santana raised an eyebrow as she studied Quinn. The blonde was just sitting across her, delved into the book she had been reading. Quinn was still Quinn; she still had that face on whenever she's into what she's reading. Santana had been friends with Quinn for years now and she knew that with the way Quinn was involved with this book, this must be of great importance.

The Latina almost decided to stop bugging Quinn when the cover of the paperback caught her attention.

_What No One Tells the Bride. Marg Stark._

Santana's eyes grew wide in confusion and embarrassment. _God, her best friend was such a geek._

_ Really, Quinn?_

She contemplated before saying anything.

True, Rachel and Quinn's relationship had been really good. Santana was happy for this because it reflected in every way that Quinn lived her everyday life. For the years she spent living with Quinn, she had never seen her so happy than she'd been on the past year she was with Rachel.

Santana will never understand it, for the life her, but there was always something about Rachel that made Quinn happy. Sometimes, Santana would want to barf when she would see Quinn blushing or smiling even just at the mention of Rachel's name.

Really, Rachel and Quinn's relationship was just too cute; and she will never use that word again.

Sometimes, she wondered how their relationship worked despite Quinn's obsession for work. She had been so busy for the past six months that Santana wondered how she was spending enough time with Rachel. She knew Quinn had her ways but still…

_Wait there._

The last time Santana saw Quinn this obsessed with something was way back in Freshman College when Quinn wanted to… save money for… Rachel.

If it was possible, Santana's eyes grew wider as the pieces of the puzzle started building up a funny image in her mind.

Again, she just observed Quinn. She knew that Quinn knew she was studying her so the blonde was acting nonchalant about it. Then, she caught it.

Quinn chanced a glance on her and immediately looked back at the book when she saw Santana looking at her. It was like they're playing poker or ping-pong; one is watching the other's move closely.

Really, it's always like this with Quinn. Santana always knew about the types of silences she shared with her best friend. There's the empty type, the comfortable kind but it's that "I'm-dying-to-tell-you-something-but-don't-know-where-to-start" type of silence that Santana knew best. Her friendship with Quinn worked with semantics, with signs. They were not good with words and so, signs and years of experience worked for them.

Like a bolt of lightning, realization dawned on her.

_I'm saving for something._

This is what Quinn told her when she asked her about her obsession for work a few weeks ago.

Santana gasped silently putting her hand over her mouth in shock. She just stared at Quinn.

_Is she…_

_ Oh._

Santana smiled as she just stared at Quinn. Wow. She felt something swirl in her stomach. She felt too much pride for her best friend because really, Santana knew that spark in Quinn's eyes.

She smiled because she finally saw the Quinn she had been dying to see for six years now.

Santana had to look away because seriously, when you've been friends with someone your entire life and you just realized that they're about to do something that will change their life forever, there's always a certain air of pride. The friendship she shared with Quinn was just as colorful as Quinn and Rachel's relationship.

The Latina felt two things at the same time. First, of course, she felt a little protective; _a little_. This is Santana Lopez, she's the most protective best friend on Earth. And second, she felt happy. Really.

There's this air of certainty in Quinn Fabray that no one would ever notice it if they weren't looking for it. Santana can't help but remember how Quinn was as a Captain of the Cheerios. Sure, Quinn couldn't hold a candle to Brittany in terms of dancing or to Santana when it came to attitude but Quinn was Head Cheerio for some reasons.

As Sue Sylvester would always say it, the Head Cheerio should have a vision. The Head Cheerio should see things other people wouldn't normally see and best of all, the Head Cheerio should hold on to that vision, no matter what.

Quinn had been that kind of a person. Sure, it will take time for her to process it but when Quinn Fabray decided on what she wants, hell better get ready because it is final.

Santana shook her head smilingly. She loved this side of Quinn.

Now, Santana finally understood why Quinn didn't want to move in with Rachel. Quinn was getting older and _wiser_. She wanted to do it the right way.

"What?" Quinn asked.

Oh, Santana knew how nervous Quinn was when she asked that. She knew that Quinn knew that she knew already.

Santana smirked as she stood and looked at Quinn, "I think she'll freak out if you buy her a band from Tifanny's."

Quinn's eyes grew comically wide and her mouth hung open like Santana was some sort of a ghost or something.

Santana only wiggled her eyebrows as she walked toward the kitchen. But she did not disappear without saying, "You can read the book your whole life or you can just talk to me about it."

o-o-o-o-o

Sure, her dad was able to convince her to propose but still, she didn't have the guts to.

The thing about Quinn, she's so good at hiding her feelings that sometimes, even if you're Rachel Berry, you'll find it hard to decipher what she's thinking.

Rachel was stuck inside her head. She's on her way to Quinn's office to pick her up for their dinner date and she was left thinking about the talk she had with her dad. She also talked to Brittany and the blonde did nothing but flip out excitedly as if she won the lottery. Heck, Rachel knew this was Brittany's way of telling Rachel that she should go for it. It would end there anyway. The question is about timing.

Is 'now' the time to propose?

Will Quinn say yes?

_God._

She didn't know.

She decided to worry about the wedding bells later as the cab pulled over in front of WPIX building. She made her way in and no one bothered to stop her; she had been there so many times that they already stopped asking for her purpose of visit.

She travelled the short way to the elevator and when she reached the floor where Quinn's office was located, she straightened up her dress and smiled. It still felt like their first date whenever she picked Quinn up. Rachel took the duty upon herself to pick Quinn up and bring her home. She can live forever doing that and nothing would hurt.

A few of Quinn's people greeted and smiled at her. They all adored their relationship frankly because Quinn was less of a monster boss during the days that Rachel was bound to pick her up.

She was already near Quinn's office when she noticed that Quinn was talking to someone inside her office. Quinn's petite office was glass walled. Only the lower part of it was tinted and so from afar, you'll see just what Quinn was doing inside her office.

When Rachel recognized who Quinn was talking to her nerves bolted up in an instant.

_Phoebe_.

_That damned girl… I thought she already went back to where she came from._

Rachel sighed.

The Phoebe versus Rachel War is back on.

Rachel didn't have the decency to knock.

"But Quinn, it's one dinner –"Rachel heard Phoebe say before she was alarmed by her arrival.

"Look who we have here," Rachel _greeted_.

"Rach," Quinn uttered suddenly nervous about the tension between Rachel and Phoebe.

Rachel was furious but she tried to keep it down. Sure, she and Phoebe never saw each other again after that fateful airport scene but Rachel wasn't oblivious to the fact that Phoebe hasn't stopped sending Quinn sweet text messages.

She hated Phoebe with a passion. Of all the people who tried to flirt with Quinn – including those girls at the gay bar – she was threatened of Phoebe the most. Phoebe liked Quinn. She legit tried to get her by kissing her on that night of the Lilibeth after party and she did try to pick Quinn up from the airport.

If only Phoebe knew how to keep her intentions to herself, Rachel would have liked her. But she didn't.

"Phoebe was just leaving," Quinn said as she looked apologetically at Phoebe as if sending a message.

"No, Quinn. I wasn't," Phoebe shot back, giving Quinn a look.

"Why are you here, Phoebe?" Rachel asked trying to sound as nice as she could manage.

"I was planning to take Quinn out on dinner tonight."

Rachel impatiently rolled her eyes, "Wow. You actually have the guts to say that in front of me."

"It's a friendly dinner. I hope you don't mind."

"Actually, I do –"

"Rachel –"

"Quinn, no; this is between me and Phoebe," Rachel said, interrupting Quinn before the blonde could actually stop her from teaching Phoebe a lesson. She turned to Phoebe, "Look, I wouldn't mind you going out on a dinner with Quinn if you had stopped sending her sweet and creepy messages. But you haven't. So, I'm sorry because I won't let my _girlfriend_ go and have dinner with you."

"Rachel, it's been a year, grow up."

Rachel smirked a ridiculous smirk as if she turned into Santana for a second, "It's been a year Phoebe, move the fuck on."

Quinn's eyes grew wide. Man, she hasn't heard Rachel swear in a while. _She's definitely jealous._

Phoebe was quite taken aback but Rachel knew she wasn't about to back down just yet.

"I just want to catch up with Quinn. We were friends, Rachel."

"I don't care. I don't trust you."

"Rachel!" Quinn said trying to keep Rachel from saying more. She turned to Phoebe, "Phoebe, please. Just go. We'll talk some other time. Now's not a good timing."

"We actually have plans for dinner tonight because if you forgot, she chose me."

Quinn couldn't help the smile that made its way to her face. It still felt damned good whenever Rachel said it. _She chose me._

Phoebe sighed, "Fine. I'll go. But Quinn?" She turned to Quinn and said, "Don't tell me I didn't warn you."

That and Phoebe was gone.

A little confused, Rachel turned to Quinn, "Warn you about what?"

"Nothing, she's crazy," Quinn replied as she started to tidy up her desk.

Rachel studied Quinn for a moment, "Really, Quinn, what was it about? And why was she here anyway?"

"She just told me something irrelevant about you and asked me to dinner to talk about it."

"Then, what was so important that you didn't tell me that she was here."

"I didn't know that she was coming here."

_Damn._

Quinn knew a fight was about to go down.

"So, you were planning on ditching me for her."

Quinn rolled her eyes in such a way that reminded Rachel of the HBIC, "I just told her I won't come to dinner with her. The talk was going smoothly until you barged in."

"Quinn, you cannot blame me for acting that way. She's the one who'd been sending you these creepy messages."

"I never entertained them. So, what's the point?"

Rachel sighed heavily, "Do you not understand why I am acting this way?"

"No, I don't."

"Quinn, I'm –"

"Threatened?"

"Yes."

"Why do you always have to be threatened? We've been together for a year now, Rachel. I'm so surprised we're even having this conversation."

"She wanted you, Quinn, the way I wanted you."

"And I never entertained her way you entertained those people you slept with during the time I was miserable."

Quinn never meant it to sound bitter but it did. Whenever they fought, it all boiled down to their past.

"So, it's still about the past, then?"

"You brought it up first."

"Quinn, stop being so immature."

Quinn shook her head bitterly, "You call me immature?"

"What? I'm at fault again?"

"Rachel, we've been here before. Why do we always have to fight about the smallest things?"

"Are you growing tired now, huh?"

Quinn's features went from mad to confused, "I didn't say that."

"You know what? Let's call a rain check for tonight. I suddenly lost my appetite for dinner."

That and Rachel was gone.

Quinn didn't bother going after her. Rachel wasn't mad at her. Quinn knew that Rachel was disappointed of herself for starting off a fight once again. She'll just drop by Rachel's apartment later and stomp her foot and they'll order in. Everything will be fine just like how it had been fine for a year now.

For now, she has a flight to book.

_**Cancel your plans tomorrow. We'll be flying to Lima.**_

She sent the text to Santana and smiled to herself.

She also sent a text to her secretary telling her to cancel all her appointments tomorrow.

Quinn knew why Rachel was so threatened of Phoebe. Quinn knew why Rachel always felt insecure about her stand on Quinn's life. For the past year, it had always been Rachel who initiated everything.

From the first date to telling the world about them to their first time – it had always been Rachel. Quinn knew that Rachel needed a sense of affirmation that Quinn loves her back the way she loves her.

Rachel initiated everything before but Quinn knew how to stop all Rachel's insecurities.

Quinn smiled to herself again.

_This could be the sign she was waiting for._

She sat on her high-back swivel chair and faced her Macbook. Then, she typed.

www. tiffany .com

Then, she clicked the engagement tab.

Her eyes lit up for a short moment.

_Mom and Santana will die, for sure._

o-o-o-o-o

Meanwhile, while Quinn was browsing off the website of Tiffany & Co., Rachel was punching a text to Leroy.

_**Dad, you said that you'll give me your engagement ring. I'm getting it.**_

Rachel swallowed as she sent the text.

She knew she only needed one more push to propose and seeing Phoebe at Quinn's office a while ago just pushed her way over her limits.

Sure she wasn't sure of Quinn's answer but she was so damned sure of Quinn. She was so damned sure that Quinn is the person she wanted to spend her life with despite their differences, despite their history.

The past will always be there to haunt them but it's the same past the brought them together. Just like most days, Rachel Berry gave herself reasons to believe that Quinn was going to say yes.

Then, she punched a text to Brittany.

_**You said you knew someone who was interested in buying an H1. I'm selling mine. : )**_

Sent.

Selling a car wasn't supposed to be a big deal but to Rachel, selling her Hummer was more of a move to shift forward in her life.

When her dads asked her what she wanted for graduation, she said she wanted a car. They didn't understand why she would want a car because she never liked to drive. They got even more confused when she said she wanted a Hummer because it wasn't much of Rachel's type. They didn't understand why Rachel wanted a Hummer or a car in the first place but they bought it anyway.

Frankly, the whole reason why Rachel asked for it was because she was sad.

She wanted to have something in her life that will tell her that she's a lot more than the Rachel Berry who had big dreams. She wanted to make herself believe that there was more to her life than just herself and her ambitions.

That Hummer was a representation of everything she couldn't have in her life.

She wanted to tell people that she was more than what they see in her – although it was an entire lie. With Rachel Berry, what you see is what you get. But since she lost Quinn, since she pushed away the one thing that she was so certain about, she lost track of the good things that came with her name.

She lost the one person that always reminded her why simply being Rachel Berry was enough. She lost the one person that always reminded her that being Rachel Berry and not something more or something else is awesome.

Now, she had Quinn back.

She has that one person back in her life right now and she didn't need the Hummer. All she needed in her life is Quinn – for good.

She doesn't want to feel threatened anymore and though the premise was kind of selfish, Rachel knew she needed to do this.

And if this wedding's going to happen – she's gonna need money for a reservation at the Hamptons.

Rachel smiled to herself.

Christmas wasn't coming soon but sure she can hear bells ringing.

_Wedding bells._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Who do you want to propose first? I'd love to hear your opinions. : )<strong>_

_**If there were mistakes in there, forgive me. I suck at proofreading nowadays.  
><strong>_

_**For the next chapter: A real Judy-Santana-Quinn scene. And… a proposal?**_


	53. Chapter 53: On My Way

**A/N: I am so sorry about this uber late update. I have been touring. Gah! Massachusetts was unreal! Back home now and I even had to watch the latest episode on the plane; downloaded it before I boarded.**

**Nope, no one's going to be hit by a truck in this chapter. The title kinda clicked for this, too, so yeah. For my avid readers out there, if I have any, in case you forgot what happened in the previous chapter (since it's been ages since I last updated), we're picking up from the battle of who's going to propose first.**

* * *

><p>The ride to Lima was surprisingly silent for Quinn and Santana.<p>

Quinn settled to reading her book although she was already done with it, just so she can pretend to be casual around Santana. Truth is she was nervous that Santana would ask her what was going on because frankly, she still doesn't have the guts to tell her best friend about it.

Santana was protective and Quinn was sure they're bound for a serious talk and she didn't want that just yet. It took her a dose of courage to finally admit to herself that she wanted to propose and she didn't need a reason to think that she was making a bad decision.

Santana, on the other hand, just settled for a movie in Quinn's iPad. She had her earphones on but the volume was low. It was just low enough for her to hear Quinn if ever the blonde decided to tell her what's going on.

Somehow, she had a feeling about what this whole trip was about. She knew it was something important to her best friend because no one, under normal circumstances, would drag someone halfway across the country just to have coffee.

Quinn and Santana talked casually on the way from Dayton to Lima, all the while ignoring the elephant in the room.

A few hours more and Quinn found herself sitting across Judy and Santana inside the Fabray mansion. She was picking on her barely eaten salad as Santana and Judy talked about Lily.

She didn't engage in their conversation because really, her heart was threatening to jump out of her body anytime. _This is it._

"Quinn? What's going on?"

Of course, Judy would be the one to break it first.

Judy looked at Quinn and only saw how nervous she was at that moment. When she heard that Quinn was coming home with Santana to _discuss something_, she instantly knew that this was important.

She had to stop herself from asking Quinn if she was pregnant again because that would sound all too wrong. She had been waiting for Quinn to say something but she knew that even Santana was growing tired of the anticipation.

Quinn took a deep breath. _This is really is it._

"Quinn, I swear, we don't have all day," Santana said as she rolled her eyes. "Will you just tell –"

"I'mproposingtoRachel," Quinn said fast, once and for all.

Santana and Judy's mouths hang open at what Quinn said and at how fast she said it.

Quinn looked at Santana and Judy expecting a verbal reaction but nothing came. That's when she started to panic, "I – I haven't got the ring, I'll be getting it tomorrow. I'm planning to do this soon like on the weekend. I –"

Quinn trailed off weakly, assured that Santana and Judy disapproved – if their lack of reaction was anything to go by. She sighed sadly and went back to staring at her barely touched salad.

"I just feel like it's the time to settle down. I love her and I want her to be my wife."

This was the part that Quinn actually expected them to say something but they still haven't said anything. "Say something," she begged. "Please."

Nothing.

"I just wanted to tell you first because you're my family and... I was hoping you could hit me in the head if you think that I'm making a terrible decision," she said softly. "I am so scared."

Quinn continued to gently shove the salad pieces to the sides of the plate as if forming a circle. She was indulged in her own misery when a hand reached out to hers.

She looked up and saw Judy beaming. It relieved her to the ends of the Earth. She turned to Santana and saw her wearing her signature "I knew it" smirk. Tears threatened her eyes and she had to stop herself from crying because she knew that the look on their faces was sign of support.

"I can't wait for my grandchild," Judy said, excitement obvious in her voice.

Santana laughed and Quinn stared at her in surprise, "Mom, I'm just about to propose."

Judy laughed as she shook her head, "I can't help it. It took you both so long."

Santana rolled her eyes, "Those girls are nuts."

Quinn smiled, "So, what do you think?"

Judy beamed once more, "I'm proud of you, Quinn."

She looked at her mother and both Fabrays smiled warmly at each other. A few years ago, back in the day when they lived under the shadows of Russell Fabray, none of them knew that this will happen – them sharing a moment as mother and daughter. True, the history of their mother-daughter relationship wasn't something to be proud of but they have worked on it slowly but surely.

There were many times that Quinn wanted to hear this, her mom saying that she's proud of her.

There were also many times that Judy said it but it was the first time Quinn believed it. She heard Judy say it when she graduated with honors in high school and college, she heard it when she landed her first job, she heard it when they first faced Shelby and Beth with Puck; but it was probably the first time Quinn ever considered that there was really something to be proud of.

For once, she made her mother proud of something she's about to do for herself – to make herself happy in the long run.

Quinn took a deep breath and smiled, "Do you think she'll say yes?" She turned to Santana expectantly.

Santana shrugged. She tried to hide it because she didn't want to seem over dramatic but she was a bit surprised and excited and... protective. Damn. She already wanted to talk to Quinn one-on-one and warn her about what she was about to do. Her best friend instincts were working at a rapid pace but she needed to trust Quinn. She knew she needed to trust her best friend and just for once – let her do it her way.

Quinn pouted her signature get-Santana-Lopez pout and Santana rolled her eyes, "Did you really have to do that?"

"I need your opinion, San," Quinn said.

"I don't even understand why I have to be here."

Quinn smiled, "San, you're say matters to me, a lot. You've kept me together all these years and I'm about to go out of my mind again."

Santana rolled her eyes again, not in annoyance but in effort to hide how touched she was. Sure, it was a great hassle to travel back to Lima in such short notice but after hearing that, well, maybe it was worth it.

"Just go for it," Santana said as she smiled. "She's going to freak the hell out."

They laughed.

"Are you sure about this?" Judy asked. This is the part that Quinn was expecting – Santana and Judy asking her if she was sure.

Quinn nodded because she's sure, as hell.

"Why now?" Santana asked. "You could've asked her a long time ago or you can wait for her to ask. Rachel Berry going down on one knee asking Quinn Fabray to be her wife would be the most epic moment of all the epic moments in Glee club history."

Quinn chuckled, "I don't know. I just felt it like I was ready."

Judy gave Quinn a concerned look, "I'm not trying to dishearten you but Quinn this isn't just a thing you do to prove your point. This is a promise, Quinn, something you'll have to hold on to for the next years of your life."

Quinn took a deep breath, "I love her. I don't know where this will take me but I need Rachel to know how much I love her because I do love her – to that extent and more."

Judy smiled, "We all know that. I just wanted to know how sure you are about this. If this engagement fails, it could destroy you. If she says no, it could ruin you."

"I know but I'm sure about Rachel," she said. "I've never been this sure about anything in my life."

Santana smiled as she met Quinn's eyes. Again, just like the many times that Quinn and Santana didn't need words to talk, the blonde knew that Santana is with her in this.

"When your father asked me to marry him, I could swear it was one of the happiest days of my life," Judy said which caused both Santana and Quinn to look at her. "I loved him and I said yes right away because he was a good man."

"Was," Quinn emphasized.

"You're very much like your father, Quinn."

Quinn's eyes grew wide because no, she wasn't a bad person and her father _is _a bad person, "Mom?"

"Russell was a hopeless romantic," Judy said softly. "He pictured a perfect life with me and you and Frannie. Every day, for the early part of our marriage, he kept that image of a family with him and did everything just so he can make it come true. When everything started falling apart, he fell apart with it all."

"I'm not like him, mom. I will never give up on Rachel."

"Your father didn't give up on us, Quinn."

Their eyes met and for the first time in years, Quinn tried to understand by heart everything that happened to her family.

"Your father gave up on himself."

Quinn swallowed. She didn't expect to hear this from Judy.

"When he kicked you out when you got pregnant, he hated himself because he felt like he was a failure, not as a father, but as a person. He couldn't accept it that's why he turned his back on you. But he wanted to be there for you, he just didn't know how. All his life, he had this image of a perfect family and you, getting pregnant at 16 wasn't in that picture," Judy said as she tried to blink away the tears that formed in her eyes. "I know you will never give up on Rachel the way your father never gave up trying to make us the perfect family but Quinn, I don't want you to be like your father when he gave up on himself, on his dreams."

Quinn took a deep breath as she tried to stop her tears.

"Your father was a good man, Quinn, before he lost sight of everything he really cared about," Judy smiled hopelessly.

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because Quinn when you marry Rachel, you will have to start thinking about the kind of wife you will be to her, the kind of mother you will be to your future children and if you got so caught up with all these dreams, you'll be so obsessed of making it come true and when they don't, it could break you."

"Are you saying that I shouldn't –"

"The first word you ever said when you were nine months old was 'Daddy'."

Tears welled in Quinn's eyes.

"It was the moment I knew that you were going to grow up as a daddy's girl and you did. When you wanted something, you'll travel to hell and back just make it all come true but there's one thing you have right now that your father didn't."

Quinn just looked at Judy.

"Rachel."

Judy smiled as she reached out and held Quinn's hand once again, "I never told your father that he was wrong about his image of a family because I also wanted it to be that way. I went with what he wanted and when everything became hard…" Judy sighed, "I gave up on him."

"Rachel's not gonna give up on me," Quinn said as she smiled.

Judy shook her head as she smiled warmly at Quinn, "She's not ever going to give up on you and you can't give up on _you_, too. The constant struggle to keep your family together is going to be hard, Quinn. But unlike your father, you have someone who will remind you of the person you are before things got hard."

"You weren't a bad wife."

"No, I was not but I was also not good enough to correct him when he was wrong."

"Mom, are you still blaming yourself?"

"No, this is me telling you what you should learn from us because if there's anyone in our family that was greatly affected, it would be you. We deprived you of a real family for so long and I don't want you to deprive yourself of that anymore."

Quinn smiled because finally, she understood what Judy was trying to say.

"Rachel is going to be the family that you never had Quinn and you have to fight, everyday, to keep that family together especially when times are hard but while you're at it, remind yourself why Rachel fell in love with you in the first place."

Judy looked away, "I loved your father, Quinn but I failed on reminding him the man that he was before his dreams came crashing down. You are so lucky to have Rachel because she's always going to be a reminder of the lengths you went through to be happy; use that to your advantage."

Quinn nodded as she smiled.

She loved her dad and though she still haven't forgiven him for everything that he did, she still remembers the time when Russell tucked her to sleep and promised her that tomorrow was going to be a better day for Lucy. Once in her life, she looked up to her father because Russell Fabray was a good man before everything went down.

And Quinn wasn't Russell or Judy; she's Quinn and though for some time in her life she hated what her last name became associated with, she will never forget that she's the youngest daughter of two people who once loved each other.

Yes, she knows how she wants her family with Rachel to be like but her marriage is going to work because aside from having her mom's sense of self, she has Rachel. She has Rachel and she knows that she has someone who will never give up on her even if every image inside her head wasn't real.

Santana sighed audibly, feeling the pressure to throw something at the table, "It's hard sometimes."

Both Fabrays turned to Santana and Quinn just stared at her best friend because even if she had been living with the Pierce-Lopez' for a year now, she had never heard Santana complain about anything.

"When Brits and I would fight, she would never yell at me and I hate that because when I'm yelling, I want people to yell back at me but she never did. But she doesn't talk to me either. Long after the yelling is over, she would always ask me, 'are you done now?'"

Quinn just looked at Santana because Quinn saw how Santana put her rage onto Brittany every time her studies stressed her.

"Brits never got mad at me and when I asked her why, she would just tell me, 'I know you and I know you'll never try to hurt me intentionally because the Santana Lopez I know loves me too much to do that.'"

"I always wondered what Brittany saw in you," Quinn said jokingly.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Believe me, up until this day, I still ask myself what I have done to deserve her but each time I see her and Lily, I am reminded that I am so much better than the person I was before I had them."

Santana met Quinn's eyes and said, "I loved who I was before I fell in love with Brits but I like the Santana that Brittany had turned me into because it's the Santana that knew how to hold on to something even if times were hard."

Judy nodded and Quinn was sure they rehearsed everything they were saying to her because their words were working.

"You can't lose yourself in marriage, Quinn but you'll have to let go of some parts of your past to be able to grip on to your present. If only I trusted myself enough to correct your father, I would have saved us but I didn't."

"Too much sense of self, Judy," Santana joked.

Judy nodded, "Yeah, too much of sense of self."

"Thank you," Quinn said to both Santana and Judy.

"No, thank you," Judy said smilingly.

"For what?"

"For not turning out to be me or your father."

Quinn took a deep breath, "That hasn't been proven yet."

Judy shrugged, "I know you will not end up like me or your father because if you have your father's will, you have my hair _and _my brain. You're smart, Quinn. I know you'll know what to do when you need to do it."

"And," Santana interrupted as she reached out to Quinn's hand and clasped it. "You have me." Santana met Quinn's eyes and then added, "Always."

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel sat across Puck, Sam and Finn that night inside a restaurant in Times Square.

Three men looked comfortable eating the stuff Rachel ordered for them but considering how loud they usually are under normal circumstances, she knew that the guys were just waiting for her to say something.

She called them last night and insisted on an urgent dinner together to _discuss something_. Finn didn't have a problem with schedule since he wasn't so busy, Sam just had to cancel a radio guesting and Puck just had to call in sick for the night. Rachel paid for Finn and Sam's flights from and back to Ohio as well as Puck's bus fare from and back to Boston.

She didn't know why she was doing this anyway but if she was really going to propose to Quinn, she's gonna need to talk to three of the people who knew Quinn in almost the same level as she knows her.

"Rach, what's going on?" Finn asked.

Sam and Puck looked at Rachel as if asking the same question.

How will she tell them that she wants to propose to their ex-girlfriend?

Rachel sighed as she said, "I'm letting you in on a secret. Promise me two things."

The three men nodded.

"One, don't laugh."

They, again, nodded.

"And two, don't freak out."

"We're dudes, Rach. We don't squeal," Puck said smilingly.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Okay."

She took a deep breath as she looked at the three of them. Then, she began, "We all know that Quinn and I have been in relationship for a year now and that we've had this thing going on between us since high school, right?"

They just nodded in unison.

"If you're going to ask, Quinn and I have been doing well for the past year, great actually. And since I have taken the dominating role in our relationship… I came to the realization that I am ready to settle down with her."

Puck's jaw dropped as Sam's eyes grew wide and Finn was just clueless.

"What was that?" Finn asked.

"I am planning to ask Quinn to marry me."

If it was possible, Puck's jaw dropped even more and Sam's eyes grew wider. It was only then that Finn had some sort of reaction – he had both Sam and Puck's reaction.

"Holy mother of shit," Puck uttered.

"Noah! Language," Rachel managed.

"Wow, Rachel. That's nice," Sam said. "I mean, you and Quinn are perfect for each other. When are you planning to ask her?"

"W – wait," Puck called even before Rachel could say something. "Why now?"

Rachel couldn't help but feel a bit scared at how protective Puck's voice sounded. She never heard him use this tone before. He sounded like a brother talking to guy who was planning to take her younger sister to a first date out of town.

She knew Puck supported her relationship with Quinn even though somewhere in his heart, he still hoped they could raise Beth together as one family.

"Are you sure about that?" Finn asked.

Rachel turned to him and she knew that it was a bad idea to gather all three of Quinn's relevant exes and tell them about her plan. Sam, of course, was supportive. Puck is completely protective of Quinn while Finn was protective… of her.

"Look, I called the three of you because I am aware that you mean a lot to Quinn. Finn, you're her first love. Sam, you're practically the first person in Quinn's life that didn't love her for her social status and Puck, we all know the bond you share with her isn't something in the past. It's always going to be there," she said as she swallowed. "I know how much you all mean to Quinn and I respect that that's why I called you. I want to tell you about it because this is Quinn we are talking about and I want to hear your opinions about it."

"It's cool, Rachel. I think Quinn will say yes," Sam offered as he smiled. He's really charming and Rachel now stopped wondering why Quinn was so fond of him once in her life.

"Thank you, Sam," Rachel smiled. "I'm planning to propose on the weekend and if ever she says yes, I'll keep you all posted for the date of the wedding."

"That's awesome," Sam said. "Just take care of Quinn, Rachel. I mean, I know I cheated on her with Santana but there's a reason I gave her a promise ring back in the day. She's so much more than the girl who acts tough outside and when she trusts you, she shows you a side of her that not everyone has the privilege to see and that is something that made me want to be with her."

Rachel nodded because everything that Sam said was right. "Do you ever regret letting her go?"

"Honestly, yes, sometimes; when I think about it. Quinn is an amazing person. She's the type of girl who you'll love not for the obvious reasons but for the little ones."

Rachel smiled bashfully, "Like when she stomps her foot!"

Sam laughed, "Yeah! That and when she sings, too."

Finn laughed, "Oh God. I remember when she sang during our 'Rumors' lesson. She was so mad and I was so scared."

Sam, Finn and Rachel laughed at the memory.

"I also adore it when Quinn would be mad at you and yell at you, yet all she wants is for you to say sorry and mean it," Sam said as he smiled warmly at Rachel. "Out of everything that Quinn is, I like her most when she's leaning her head on my shoulder. Those little moments are the best moments."

Rachel smiled at Sam. She chuckled, "It's amazing when Quinn actually makes you feel like she needs you. It makes you feel like you're a superhero or something."

"Take care of her, Rachel."

"I will, Sam. Thank you."

"Noah?"

For some reason, Puck just looked at her.

"I know that you and Quinn have a history that even I cannot erase. No matter how much the both of you try to deny it, you're special to one another in more ways than one."

Puck nodded, "Quinn is special to me. She's the mother of my daughter."

Rachel nodded.

"Look, Jew babe. I support you all the way but I need to know that you're in this a hundred and ten percent because Quinn had been through so much in her life. I don't think she could ever handle losing you."

Puck said it casually as if it was an everyday thing. Rachel never thought that the day will come that she'll hear Noah Puckerman talk like this.

"I'm in this Noah. I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Puck sighed as he leaned his back on the chair, "I love Quinn, okay? She will always be special to me."

"I know."

"And I am saying this right here, Jew babe. If you hurt her, I'm gonna haunt you," Puck said as he smiled.

Rachel smiled, "If I hurt her, I'm gonna come to you and ask you to kill me."

"There are so many people in Quinn's life that broke their promises to her. Do what most of us didn't have the courage to do – hold on to Quinn, no matter what."

Rachel nodded and she was sure that the glow in Puck's eyes was caused by tears he didn't want to show her.

"And give Beth a nicer sister!"

All of them laughed.

"Shelby told me that Beth is growing so much like Quinn; looks like attitude is hereditary after all," Rachel said as they all laughed again.

"You both have my back, Rach," Puck said as he smiled and squeezed Rachel's hand.

"You have my support, too Rachel but can I ask you again if you're sure about this?" asked Finn as all of them turned to him.

"Yes, Finn. I am certain."

He smiled his lopsided smile as he said, "Quinn could be scary sometimes."

Sam chuckled, "And moody."

"Not to mention she's very high-maintenance," Puck added.

Rachel chuckled, "Oh my Barbra! I agree."

"She's also very possessive," Puck said again.

Sam nodded, "She could be a lot jealous sometimes."

"And she's so wise that she could turn every fight in her favor. I mean, every time we fought, she always had something to say that would make her right and make me look bad," Finn added.

"I hate her when she doesn't speak when she's mad. She will just stop talking to you, like completely," Sam said laughingly.

"I know!" Rachel said. "That is so scary."

"Are you sure you want to marry that Quinn?" Puck asked.

Rachel smiled at him as she nodded, "Yes."

"Even the scary Quinn?" Sam asked.

Rachel nodded smilingly, "Even the scary Quinn."

"The moody Quinn?"

Rachel nodded.

"HBIC Quinn?"

Rachel nodded, "Cheerio Quinn will always have a special place in my heart."

Puck chuckled, "I know, right. That Cheerio skirt was just –"

"Noah!"

All three men laughed.

"Admit it, Rachel!" Finn said as he leaned closer to Rachel. He then whispered, "Those skirts were kinda inviting."

The horror on Rachel's face was an understatement.

Sam shook her head smilingly, "It wasn't the status that made Quinn popular! It's her legs!"

Rachel flushed red in an instant.

"This is the reason why I ended up liking girls! You guys are such pervs!"

Puck laughed teasing Rachel, "Come on. You're talking to Quinn's first!"

Rachel grabbed a table napkin and hurled it toward Puck who caught it with his hand.

"Enough on the dude talks!"

Puck, Sam and Finn just laughed.

"But seriously, Rachel; are you willing to put up with Quinn no matter what?" Finn asked. "Because really, it's not going to be easy."

"Thank you for the concern, Finn but yes, I am sure about this. I love Quinn and I know that it will be enough."

Finn just smiled as Sam just nodded and Puck looked calm and supportive, too. Rachel knew she has their backs.

She smiled mischievously and leaned closer to the three guys whispering, "And I admit, those Cheerio skirts were sinful!"

The other three laughed as Puck hurled the napkin back on to Rachel's face.

It had been an awesome night with Quinn's exes and suddenly, Rachel Berry had a plan.

o-o-o-o-o

"You sure about this?" Santana as she adjusted uncomfortably in her seat across Quinn who was driving to their last stop before flying back to New York.

Quinn just nodded and took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you take Judy with you?"

"I need to do this alone."

"Uh, I'm here Q," Santana said sarcastically.

"I need you to punch him if he goes psycho on me."

Santana nodded, "I have long wanted to do that."

Quinn laughed just as she pulled over the parking lot of Day-Mont Behavioral Health Care in Dayton.

She looked at Santana and her best friend only gave her an encouraging look.

"I'll be here when you need me," Santana said.

Quinn nodded as Santana just smiled, "It won't take long."

"Better not."

That and Quinn hopped off the car and walked inside the rehabilitation center nervously fiddling the hem of her shirt.

It's the first time in years that she's gonna face him and she didn't know what to expect.

She took a deep breath as she approached the information desk. The middle aged woman looked up to her as she smiled and said, "Hi. I'm Quinn Fabray. I called yesterday and scheduled a visit for my father."

She cringed at the last word she said and for a moment fought the urge to run back to her car and not face her _father _anymore.

The woman smiled as she started typing on the computer in front of her, "He hasn't had a visitor in months."

Quinn chose to say nothing at that moment because frankly, she didn't know what to say.

"Are you planning to stay long? I can arrange a table for you at our deck."

Quinn shook her head, "No. I'm just here to tell him something."

"Oh," the woman said. "I see you traveled all the way from New York, must be big news, huh."

"Yeah, kind of."

"Well, good luck on talking to him and if you're interested to know, he's getting better," the woman smiled so genuinely that Quinn almost believed that she cared for her father's condition. "Room 12, the room at the end of that hall," she said.

"Thank you," Quinn said as she started walking towards the said direction.

"Your father talks highly of you," the woman said and Quinn had to fight the tears that instantly welled in her eyes.

She walked slowly until she stood in front of Room 12. She took a deep breath and then knocked gently.

While waiting for her father to get the door, she turned her attention back to the lobby just in time to see Santana walking in with that encouraging look on her face and Quinn felt a little braver.

_I can do this_.

And then, just as she finished that train of thought, the door opened and it revealed someone she never expected to see: Russell Fabray clad in plain white shirt and a pair of khaki shorts.

Their eyes met for a couple of seconds until Russell managed a sad smile.

"Quinn."

"Dad."

It still hurt whenever she addressed him "Dad" but she couldn't bring herself up to call him by his name because he still wanted to hold on to her father that once put her in his shoulders and spun her around because he loved her.

"They told me you were coming. Please, come in," he said as he stepped aside to let Quinn in.

Quinn sighed as she stepped inside her father's rehabilitation room.

It was small and under normal circumstances, Russell would hate a room as small as that. It only has a bed, a couch, a night stand, a cabinet, and a set of chairs and table by the window. There were books on top of the table and there's one that's been opened with a pair of reading glasses resting on top of it.

"Are you staying? I can call the nurses and get you something to eat –"

"I'm not staying."

Russell opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

"I'm just here to say something that would take less than five minutes. I need to get back to New York."

Russell sighed audibly.

Quinn turned to her father and took a few seconds to examine the way he looked at that moment. His hair was a bit disheveled and he looked thinner that the time she last saw her in high school but he looked healthy. Quinn could admit that he looked softer now and he never looked like a normal human being that he did at that moment. No pretentions – it was just her and her father, not the person that kicked Quinn out a few years ago.

"You know Rachel, right? Mom told me she told you about _us_."

Russell just nodded.

Quinn hated that he was so calm; that his nod didn't have malice or judgment.

"I'm proposing to her."

Russell seemed to process the information for a few seconds until he smiled.

Again, Quinn nearly rolled her eyes at the lack of Fabray-ness in it. He was supposed to be mad and he should be kicking her out after what she said but he didn't.

Russell then made his way to the table by the window and dug under the pile of books until he pulled out a number of magazines. He lifted them up and showed them to Quinn, "I have been reading nice things about her."

Quinn sighed as tears, again, welled in her eyes. "She an amazing person," she said shakily.

Russell looked at her and it's the kind of look that Quinn longed for her entire life. The kind of look that supported her decisions, the kind of look that a father should give her daughter at the toughest time of her life – the kind of look that he never gave her when she needed it the most.

"I hope you'll keep our last name."

That was all it took to make Quinn's tears fall. She looked at him and he looked back at her with a genuine smile on his face.

"You should be mad at me, Dad. She's a girl and it's violates the rules of _your _church."

Russell looked guilty for a fraction of second until he just sat on one of the chairs by the table and placed the magazines back on the table.

"I can't judge you when I'm the one in this rehabilitation center trying to steer away from alcohol abuse."

Quinn didn't have words. Coming here, all the speech she prepared was for a furious Russell Fabray. She was caught off guard by the way he seemed to be okay with the impending proposal.

"I'm proud of you, Quinn."

Her tears fell more rapidly because never, in a lifetime, did she expect to hear that from her father.

"I am not sorry for everything I did to you and our family," he said as he looked out the window. "You, the version of you that's standing inside this very room wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my mistakes as a father."

"When are you coming out of here?"

"In two months time," Russell said with a sigh of relief. "My nurses are all happy with my progress."

"That's nice."

"I have signed the divorce papers last year but your mom hasn't turned them to our lawyers."

"She still believes in you."

Russell nodded as tears fell from his yes. He quickly wiped it off and Quinn nearly laughed at how Fabray the gesture was.

"I don't deserve her."

"For a moment before, I thought you didn't deserve anybody."

Russell nodded, "I have lived in this room for a year now and all I did was believe that."

Quinn sighed.

"I love Rachel."

"I know. You'll never come here if you didn't lover her enough to tell me about it."

Quinn just nodded and again, sighed audibly.

"I love you, Quinn."

It was the one thing that Quinn wanted to hear from him.

Quinn's tears fell again because she didn't just wish for her father to be proud of who she chose to be; she wished he could love her despite everything she went through and despite everything she's planning to do.

"I love you, Frannie and your mom. I guess I just didn't know how to show it."

"Everyday she makes me a better person, a far cry from the person that I used to be. She taught me how to trust and how not to keep blaming myself about the things I did in the past," she said amidst her tears. "I want to marry her because she's the one that kept me from becoming you."

Russell nodded.

"She taught me how to give people second chances."

Russell looked at her with hope in his eyes.

Quinn took a deep breath as she closed her eyes to gather the strength she didn't know she had, "If she says yes..." she opened her eyes and met Russell's, "will you be there? At the wedding?"

Russell smiled as tears streamed down his face, "Yes, Quinn. I will be honored to be there."

Quinn smiled as she rushed to her father's side and hugged him.

Quinn felt somewhat complete because finally, she was getting the chance to get her father back.

She wanted him to be there because she knew that Rachel would want the wedding to be perfect and she would want him to be there.

Quinn didn't expect him to be the changed man that he already was at that moment. She knew that of Russell didn't want to be in the wedding, she would be losing him forever. But she didn't.

She was finally getting a second chance with her father and it felt good.

After a few seconds of sobbing and hugging, Quinn looked up to her father, "I haven't forgiven you completely but I'm giving you the chance to be part of my life again."

Russell nodded and didn't say anything.

Quinn then made it out of his room saw Santana pacing in the lobby.

When she saw Quinn, she immediately studied her and when she saw that Quinn had tears in her eyes, she made her way to her and hugged her without saying anything.

"I did it, San."

Santana just nodded.

"I did it."

"Yes, Q. You did it."

Quinn just smiled as she buried her face onto the Latina's shoulder.

"All for the hobbit," Santana teased and Quinn just playfully swatted Santana's arm.

"I'm proud of you, Q."

After minutes of silent embrace, Santana and Quinn talked to Russell's nurse and figured out that he has been responding well to therapy and even agrees on many community volunteer activities.

The nurse briefly talked about how he always talked about her UCLA graduate daughter and his lovely grandchildren living in Springfield with his eldest daughter. She also mentioned a lot about missing his wife and it made Quinn's heart soar with some sort of pride when the nurse said that he talked about letting his wife go if that meant she could be happier with someone else.

She never believed that Russell could change like that and it somehow saddened Quinn that she never got to know this version of her father. But at the end of the day, she felt relieved because at least, her future children with Rachel are all gonna love their grandfather.

Her eyes were still glimmering with tears as she and Santana walked back to their car.

"You okay, Q-ball?"

Quinn smiled, "I missed you calling me that."

"I only call you that when you're being such a cry baby," Santana said rolling her eyes. "You didn't answer my question."

Quinn smiled, "I'm fine. I'm just overwhelmed."

Santana just shrugged getting the gist of how Quinn was feeling at the moment.

"I'm so happy. I feel as if my life is coming together."

Santana rolled her eyes, again, "All for the hobbit."

"Santana!"

Santana laughed, "You know that I'm gonna call her that for the rest of our fucking lives, right?"

Quinn rolled her eyes, "Yeah. I got used to it."

Santana chuckled, "Good."

As they reached the car, Santana dug for the keys in her pocket. "Ready to go?" she asked.

"Wait, I…" Quinn said as she fished for her phone. "I just have to call Rachel."

Santana looked at Quinn smilingly as she nodded, "Go tell your girl how happy you are right now."

Quinn smiled as she stepped a little further away from Santana and then checked her phone. She immediately saw 16 missed calls and 7 messages from Rachel. She then hit speed dial. It only took around three rings for Rachel to pick up.

"Baby? I haven't seen you all day and you're not picking up my calls. I called your office and they said you're on leave. Where are you? If it wasn't for your text that you'd be with Santana today, I'll be dead worried about you," Rachel immediately blurted out.

Quinn took a deep breath and smiled contentedly, "I love you, Rachel."

There was silence at the other end of the line for a few seconds. Quinn could tell that Rachel was surprised about her response.

"I love you, too, Quinn. But is there something wrong? You sound like you just cried."

Quinn smiled again because really, Rachel was just being too adorable.

"Will you stop being so perfect?"

Rachel chuckled, "You know I tried too many times."

Quinn laughed.

"But seriously Quinn, where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just called to say I love you."

It may seem like a line from a song but Quinn meant it. Right at that moment, when she's standing in the middle of the parking lot of her father's rehab center and after she just talked to the man that gave life to her, she felt how much she really loves Rachel. She realized how much she wants Rachel to be part of that life for the rest of it.

Quinn never meant those words as much as she meant it at that moment. True, she said it a thousand times to Rachel but it is in that simple moment that she felt as if it was forever; as if she wasn't going to let her go.

There was silence on the other end of the line again and Quinn could tell, based on the way Rachel was breathing, that she was touched at what she just said.

"I'm not gonna let you go, Rachel."

Rachel choked a sob, "Quinn… I… -"

"I love you more than anything else in the world."

Quinn heard Rachel release a breath in a dramatic Rachel Berry fashion. Rachel then said, "You're making me cry, you know."

Quinn laughed, "I'm in Lima."

"What? Why? What are you –"

"I talked to him."

"Who?"

"Dad."

Silence.

Quinn knew she surprised Rachel.

"I told him about us and I told him how amazing you are."

"I… Wow. Quinn, that's –"

"Rachel, I love you. I wanted him to know that."

"What… What did he say?"

Quinn smiled, "He looks forward to meeting you."

Quinn was sure she heard Rachel let out a sob. "Oh my God."

"You're Jewish."

"Way to joke about my religion, Quinn! I'm still taking all of this information in. It's –"

"Amazing."

"Yes."

Quinn felt Rachel's smile at that.

"I wish I was there with you."

"I needed to do it by myself."

"Come home now and tell me about all of it!" Rachel said in pure excitement.

"Santana and I are driving to the airport in a bit. I can't wait to see you."

"Me, too. I love you, Quinn, really. And I'm proud of you."

Quinn just smiled.

"Wait! When is he coming here? In New York, I mean?"

Quinn smirked mischievously, "Soon and it depends."

"Depends on what?"

"I'll tell you about it when I get home."

"You are killing me with anticipation."

"You have no idea how I'm dying to tell you all of it."

"Quinn?"

"Hmmm…"

"I love you."

"I love you, Rach."

That and they hung up.

Many times in one's life, a moment snaps in you. It would feel so final and so life-changing that suddenly, the future will spread out in front of you. Suddenly, you're sure about what you want; of who you want.

It was in that moment that Quinn Fabray became sure that she wanted Rachel to say yes to her when she asks the question.

It was when Quinn Fabray felt like she finally deserved Rachel Berry. Quinn didn't have any grudges or unnecessary baggage with her anymore. There's only her certainty that Rachel is _the one_.

_If you know what it's like to love someone so much that you can't picture a life without them, don't let them go._

Quinn smiled as Brittany's words echoed inside her head.

Yes, she knows what it's like and once she lands back to New York, she isn't gonna let Rachel go.

Not ever.

* * *

><p><strong>Someone told me that this went too fast. But I don't think so, there are still going to be stages, as I have repeatedly said. But yeah, I kind of skipped parts. That chapter was kinda long...<strong>

**I must admit, I find this chapter highly emotional. I just had to take that route on Q's family because it's necessary. : )  
><strong>

**For the next chapter: Someone's gonna propose for real. Who would it be?**


	54. Chapter 54: She's the One

**A/N: Whew! Thank you for all those reviews for the last chapter. I didn't think some people would still read this after my own hiatus. Well, looks like get to continue this after all. **

**So here's another chapter and brace yourselves. Here it is!**

* * *

><p>For some weird reason, Rachel felt braver that day.<p>

She was riding a cab on her way to Long Beach. Quinn called her and asked her to pick her up because the cab she was in broke on the way home from a meeting. Rachel wondered how the hell Quinn's meeting got to Long Beach but decided not to worry about it.

Quinn arrived this morning from Lima and the blonde told her that she had to go back to work immediately. Rachel didn't complain because really, after a year of being in a relationship with Quinn, the blonde's job always came first.

She never complained every time Quinn cancelled their dates due to endless emergency meetings because she didn't want to demand much from Quinn. It was okay at some point because every time Quinn would cancel, she would always try to make it up to Rachel. Sometimes, Quinn's work caused fights and no-talking mornings but Rachel never felt threatened. She sometimes felt like it's unfair that Quinn had to put her work first but there were also various times that she put hers first. It was a fair game.

Still, she can't believe that Quinn held a meeting somewhere in Long Beach.

But nothing can stop Rachel Berry.

She's gonna ask her. _Tonight_.

She and Quinn agreed to have dinner before they head back to the city. It's been a while since they actually went to dine at Quinn's favorite seaside restaurant. And Rachel missed that place; it was where their first date happened.

She smiled as she clutched the small box in her pocket.

It wasn't the kind of proposal she imagined all her life. She was kind of convinced that she's the one for big and grandiose things but there wasn't any more time to prepare because she was feeling it all right at that moment.

_Sometimes, you just have to act the moment you felt it because you'll never know if you'll ever feel it again._

These were Brittany's words at the rehearsal dinner and it all made sense to Rachel at that moment.

Her fathers approved of Quinn, Judy and – seems like – Russell approved of her and her one-year relationship with Quinn: these are reasons enough to make her believe that it was time to ask Quinn. She was ready for Quinn and hoped that Quinn was ready to take this step; because she knew – everyone knew – that at the end of the day, Quinn and Rachel are end game.

_I was her she was me. We were one, we were free and if there's somebody calling me on. She's the one._

For some reason, the radio chose to fill in Robbie Williams on that exact moment.

_ If there's somebody calling me on. She's the one._

Rachel smiled as she, again, clutched the box in her pocket. She smiled because indeed, Quinn is the one.

As the song played in the background, Rachel recalled moments inside her head. From their first date to their simple Casper and Funny Girl nights – all of it seemed perfect. Whenever Rachel thought about it, she still could not believe that she actually got the girl.

Sure, Quinn was a tough one to handle. Her mood changes approximately 3 times in the course of an hour and it gets bad whenever Quinn was stressed about work. The blonde would always insist that she was right each time they fought and most of all, Quinn dedicates half of her life to work and half of it to Rachel.

Under normal circumstances, Rachel could have asked for more because she knew she deserve more from Quinn but she couldn't bring herself up to complain. She did Quinn wrong in the past and if this is one of the things she had to bear with, she'll take it just so she can keep Quinn in her life.

There were various times that she felt like Quinn still didn't trust her enough but just like most days, she refused to ask Quinn about it because one, she wanted to prove her that she deserved her trust and second, she was just so afraid of the answer.

Still, she wants to marry Quinn because if Quinn wants assurance – more than what Rachel tried to assure her for the past year – this would be it.

_The ultimate promise._

Rachel wants Quinn in her life because she balances everything that was overwhelming in her life. The fame, the awards, the attention – she could get anything she wants in a snap but Quinn was an everyday representation that there are still some things she needed to work hard for.

Though sometimes she wished that things were easier with Quinn, she just couldn't let her go because this is a part of the Quinn that she loves; the Quinn that would sneak into her apartment to make her breakfast when she cancelled last night's date. It's part of the Quinn that sent her flowers every time she was up for grueling technical dress rehearsals and the Quinn that _never _missed a big show night.

Instead of counting the bad ones, Rachel chose to look at all the good things in their relationship. She smiled again because every moment that she wakes up with a very calm sleeping Quinn, she was reminded about how far they have actually come from being two old sweethearts who fell apart.

_Though the sea will be strong I know we'll carry on, 'cause if there's somebody calling me on… she's the one._

Tears formed in her eyes because it felt amazing to finally feel as if you've found _the one_. Rachel wasn't sure if it happens to everyone else but she felt lucky.

She felt lucky to have Quinn. She felt lucky to have found _the one_. It's Quinn.

_If there's somebody calling me on. She's the one._

_ It's always been Quinn._

o-o-o-o-o

By the time the cab pulled over by the beach, Rachel's heart started racing.

_This is it._

She checked her phone and saw that Quinn texted her.

_**By the lighthouse, baby. I missed this place.**_

She smiled because Quinn was being a little melodramatic. She decided to walk down the short distance; all the while holding on to the small box that holds the most important question she'll ever ask Quinn.

She was nervous but there was that stupid smile on her face as the song in the cab played in her head.

_I was her she was me. We were one, we were free and if there's somebody calling me on. She's the one. If there's somebody calling me on. She's the one._

As she turned the corner to the lighthouse, her eyes grew wide, her heart beat faster and her knees grew weak.

_If there's somebody calling me on. She's the one._

Quinn was standing in the middle of the candlelit beach looking out the darkness of the ocean. She was wearing a white knee-length dress and it seemed perfect even if she was barefoot.

The entire shore was lit with candles lying on the sand and it seemed endless. It seemed like the scattered little amounts of candle lights stretched as far as she can see. The candles were scattered all around her and Quinn was just there in there in the middle of all, looking like not six challenging years passed since high school. She's still the most beautiful girl Rachel knows.

"Quinn?" she called.

Rachel was nervous because obviously, Quinn set her up.

As Quinn turned to her, Rachel looked around again. It felt as if the stars we're dragged down to the shore. The candles lighted the entire beach, calmingly contrasting the darkness of the ocean and the night sky.

She looked back at Quinn and the blonde looked so beautiful. "Did you do all these?" Rachel asked as she walked closer to Quinn.

Quinn shrugged, "Do you like it?"

Rachel smiled, "Are you kidding me? I love it."

"I love you," Quinn said as she looked at Rachel straight in the eyes.

Rachel smiled as she stood in front of Quinn and snaked her arms around the blonde's neck, "I love you, too."

She kissed her chastely and then leaned their foreheads to each other, "But what's this for?"

Quinn pulled away as she took Rachel's hand and led her closer to the beach, "You'll know."

Rachel decided not to ask anything anymore. It's been a while since Quinn actually did something like this and she missed it.

"You're so romantic, Fabray."

"I don't show it much, I know."

Rachel smiled sheepishly, "Well, it counts at moments like this."

"Thank you."

"But seriously, Quinn, what's the occasion? Well, aside from us getting your dad's blessing."

"I said you'll know later."

Rachel just nodded as she and Quinn reached the middle of the candlelit shore. Tears were already threatening in her eyes because it was just so sweet and so romantic. Who would've thought that Quinn Fabray had romantic genes?

Then, there was a red medium-sized rectangular box and that's where Quinn decided to stop. She sat beside the box and tapped the space next to her summoning Rachel to do the same.

Rachel did as told and sat next to Quinn.

"What's this?"

Quinn chuckled, "You really had to ask that although you knew you'll find out, did you?"

Rachel pouted, "Don't blame me, Fabray! You told me your cab broke and I expected you to be in such a bad mood and we'll have a quiet dinner. You told me a thousand times before, _don't underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off Quinn Fabray_. So, I didn't expect you pulling this off."

"I didn't want you to expect anything. I guess I am getting better at my acting."

Rachel smiled, "I guess."

Quinn took a deep breath as she took the box and handed it to Rachel.

"It's a gift for you, from the past."

"It's not a prank, right? Because I really wouldn't talk to you for a whole week if you're going to pull off a high school Quinn tonight. It's so romantic. I don't want your old self ruining this."

Quinn smiled, "Trust me. Nothing's gonna ruin this night."

Rachel nodded because she trusted her. Rachel settled the box on the sand as she stared at it for a fraction of second. There was a small "WMHS" printed on the side of the box. "Looks like a blast from the past," Rachel said.

"Just open it, Rach."

"You're more excited that I am."

Quinn rolled her eyes and Rachel had to smile at how impatient her girlfriend was. She finally opened it and saw something she didn't expect to receive this day or ever. She smiled as she pulled the red piece of clothing up and she was instantly reminded of the Quinn who used to wear that jacket.

"It's my McKinley letterman," Quinn said as she smiled and stared at the old piece of clothing.

"It is," Rachel said, not finding the right words to say. It felt so nostalgic seeing it again.

"It's yours now," Quinn said silently.

Rachel turned to Quinn and asked, "Why are you giving this to me?"

"I should have given you that in senior year but you know…" Rachel saw her blush, "I wasn't in the position to give you that since we weren't –"

"Together, yes," Rachel finished for her. "Quinn, I don't understand."

Quinn sighed as she took the jacket from Rachel and draped it around her shoulders. Rachel felt comfortable in it, like it was meant for her. "There was a time in my life that it was everything I thought I could be."

It made Rachel's heart ache a bit.

The blonde continued, "But you always had a way of making me feel as if I was wrong about my low perception of myself."

Rachel just smiled warmly at her melodramatic girlfriend.

Quinn smiled as she looked back at the box, "There's one more thing inside."

Rachel quickly looked back at the box and saw a scrapbook inside it. She must have missed it the moment she pulled the jacket up. She took the scrapbook and smiled at what's written on the cover: _Quinn and Rachel – Hell Yeah._

"Really, Quinn?"

"I couldn't think of any word that could describe us, Rach. Seriously, I nearly pulled my brain out of its place when I was thinking about that."

"This is so Santana."

"She's the one that actually gave me an idea that there's no better way of describing our relationship."

Rachel chuckled, "I knew it."

"But I was the one that came up with that!" Quinn defended as she pouted.

"I understand. That's so creative of you," Rachel teased.

Quinn rolled her eyes again.

Rachel opened the book and nearly laughed at what was on the first page: a screenshot of her age-old MySpace page.

Quinn chuckled, "That's when I first knew that you existed."

Rachel chuckled, "Oh my goodness, Quinn. It instantly reminded me of your mean comments."

"I was saying mean things to you but look at who hasn't missed your big nights now?"

Rachel nodded, impressed at that.

Rachel then turned to the next page and saw Quinn and Finn's photo probably way back in sophomore year; Quinn in Cheerios uniform and Finn in his football jersey.

"He led me to you," Quinn said silently and that's when Rachel felt a bit emotional. "If it weren't for you coming after him in sophomore year, I wouldn't have joined Glee and I wouldn't have known you."

Rachel looked at Quinn and saw her just staring at the photo in the scrapbook resting on Rachel's lap.

"No matter how much I hated him when he chose you over me, I owe Finn a lot. I wouldn't have known how wonderful you are. I would have missed on everything I love about my life right now."

Rachel's heart swelled with pride and emotions. Here Quinn was, in one of the rare opportunities, letting Rachel see her heart without barriers. She smiled as she turned to the next page and as they both saw what as in there, they both laughed.

Using letters that were cut out of magazines and newspapers, words were all over the page: Man Hands, RuPaul, Stubbles, Dwarf, and Midget. In the middle of the page was a photo of a 7-Eleven slushie.

"Those were the first words I said to you, weren't they?"

Rachel nodded.

Somehow, it didn't hurt recalling all those memories.

"I don't know if I had said it enough but I am so sorry for making your past miserable, Rachel."

"I don't know if I had it enough but I forgive all of it, Quinn. You're here with me, it's all that matters."

Rachel turned to the next page and her heart skipped a beat. There's a picture of Quinn when she was pregnant with Beth.

"Remember when I told you that you did what I was not brave enough to do?"

"When I told _everyone _that Puck is the father of your baby?"

"It wasn't just that. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself one bit."

Tears welled in Rachel's eyes and stared at Quinn's photo, "You still look beautiful here, Quinn."

"I think that's when our _friendship _really started."

"But you didn't want to be seen being all _friendly _with me. It'd hurt your status."

"Turn to the next page, Rach."

Rachel did and saw a sketch of her – it didn't look like her but her name was written on the side. There was a huge 'Loser' written on top of the page and then, there were hearts all over it.

"I drew that in sophomore year, after Finn found out. You were with Jesse then. I think, I didn't want to be friends with you because I hated the idea that it's all we were ever going to be."

Quinn said it straight and in all honestly that Rachel almost choked a sob.

"It was so hard in high school, Rachel. I needed to push you away."

"I understand."

"I was so afraid that the day will come that I will find no reason to hate you."

Rachel chuckled, "I believe and forgive you, Quinn. I think I understand the denial part more now. You actually drew hearts."

Quinn laughed, "I just noticed the hearts when I saw that in Lima yesterday."

Rachel turned to the next page and saw the words of the song she wrote back in high school: _Get it Right._

"The sending-me-on-my-way scene between us," Rachel said as she smiled warmly at the memory.

Quinn nodded.

"I remember one of the first humane conversations we had. It's when I volunteered to help you with writing an original song."

"You said I was an artist and that I didn't need the burden of a relationship."

Quinn nodded, "Back then, I was so convinced that talking you out of Finn and Jesse was just my way of being nice for the sake of the Prom Queen thing. But now, maybe, I just hated seeing you happy with someone else."

"It makes sense now."

"Then came senior year."

Rachel smiled as she turned to the next page and saw photos of them with the New Directions, with Santana and Brittany and some with just the two of them. They seemed happy and that's when Rachel's tears finally fell.

"Oh God. These days are golden."

"They are."

Rachel ran her fingers over the photo of New Directions winning Nationals in senior year. Artie was holding the huge trophy with everyone gathered happily around him as she and Quinn were at the back sharing an intimate hug.

"That's the moment I realized that I wanted to go to New York with you. That I wanted to be there for you and that I want you to be there for me," Quinn said as her voice broke mid-sentence. "I really fell hard for you back then."

"Quinn..."

"I kept it all in that scrapbook because I wanted to remind you of how far we've come."

"Are there any more pages? I really want to kiss you now."

"That'll have to wait."

Rachel playfully pouted as she turned to the next page and saw a photo of Lucy.

"I don't take that picture out very often," Quinn sighed heavily, trying to hold back her tears. "That was me, Rach. Before I started believing I deserved better."

"But -"

"Turn to the next page."

The next page revealed a photo of Quinn in her Cheerios uniform.

"That was me... before you."

Rachel looked at Quinn lovingly and the brunette felt like she could fly.

"You didn't change me, Rach. You made me realize who Quinn Fabray really is," she said. This is the part where Quinn's heart started beating faster but she continued anyway, "Before you turn to the next page, promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"Don't say anything until I allow you to. There are things I can only say once because we both know I'm not so good at this."

"I could promise you that, except if it's you saying that you're breaking up with me."

Quinn smiled, "Believe me, it's not that."

Rachel nodded nervously, "Can I turn the page now?"

Quinn nodded and Rachel did.

As she saw what was on the next page, her hands started to tremble that she needed to clutch on the scrapbook itself.

"You saw Lucy and then Quinn. Now, I'm showing you the 'me' you turned me into," Quinn said as her eyes glimmered with tears.

Rachel was left staring on the photo that was in front of her.

There was photo of Quinn's hand with a _diamond ring_ on her palm.

"The Quinn you made out of me is strong enough to get that ring. She's the same Quinn who went back to Lima to tell her father about you because there's no other person in her life that makes her feel like you do," Quinn said as she wiped her own tears.

Rachel could not believe it.

_Is Quinn about to..._

"When I came back here to be your Publicist, I kept telling myself – and everyone – that I came here for answers, for closure. But I guess that was only true for a short while. Of course I came back for you. For my Rachel."

Rachel sobbed. It was a good thing that Quinn hasn't allowed her to speak because she was at lost for words.

"Quinn is a better person now, Rachel and it's because you believed in her. Quinn wants you in her life... forever."

That's when Rachel turned to Quinn. She was crying because really, this is Quinn doing what Rachel never expected her to do.

Quinn met Rachel's eyes as she pulled a small velvet box from the pocket of the letterman jacket that was on Rachel.

She slowly opened it and revealed a band of channel-set round brilliant diamonds that enhanced the classic Tiffany six-prong. Rachel knew in an instant that it was Tiffany. There's no way it wasn't a Tiffany.

Rachel's eyes grew wide and her heart melted. She was sure she died for a second. It was the same ring in the photo. But this time, it looked real. It looked to so real but she felt like she's on a dream she didn't want to wake up from.

So, it felt like this. Quinn finally initiates something.

Rachel never felt loved and cared for than she felt at that moment. Finally, someone has the courage to deal with Rachel Berry for the rest of her life.

She probably will never know that it was what Quinn bought with half of what she had saved for the past year she had worked with WPIX and Blaine's management. Rachel doesn't know that the ring in front of her was a product of Quinn's grueling hours at the office and on the fly with Blaine's career.

And Rachel will _never _know that the Tiffany engagement ring in front of her is a 1-carat platinum worth $12,000.

Quinn knew that the price doesn't matter to Rachel. She knew that Rachel wouldn't care where she bought the ring or what it means as long as she's the one Quinn's proposing to but Quinn, up to this day, still wanted to be the one that made Rachel's dreams come true.

"I don't have an entire choir or a marching band or a Glee Club singing Rihanna while on a pool but I have this shore, these candles, and the wind. And it's all I can offer you Rachel. This is just me. This is just Quinn Fabray... asking you if you'd marry her despite the mess that she is."

Quinn had tears in her eyes. She was feeling a tad nervous but it felt so freeing to finally let Rachel know what she had been thinking.

And Rachel was just rendered speechless.

"Turn to the next page."

_Holy Barbra. It's not yet over._

Rachel turned to the next page and smiled at what was written – in Quinn's penmanship.

_10 Reasons Why Rachel Berry Shouldn't Marry Quinn Fabray_

"Read it, out loud."

Rachel smiled and, despite her tear-clouded vision, began reading.

"Number One, Quinn is bossy," Rachel read out loud.

"You just followed what I just said. See?"

Rachel smilingly shook her head at how clever item number one was. She continued, "Number Two, Quinn is the mean bitch that bullied you in high school."

"Fact."

"Number three, Quinn was a troubled college student."

"Another fact."

"Number four, Quinn is moody and four point one, she tends to displace her mood on you."

This time, Rachel looked up to Quinn and gave her an 'it's okay' look but Quinn shook her head and said, "Keep reading."

"Number five, Quinn stomps her foot when she gets frustrated."

Rachel smiled because Quinn has no idea how much Rachel loves her for that.

"Number six, Quinn loves Casper. Period."

Despite her tears, Rachel laughed at this.

"Number seven, Quinn is not wholeheartedly vegan."

"I tried but bacon..."

Rachel didn't let Quinn finish her explanation because she had long accepted this fact. "Number eight, Quinn is complicated and if Rachel says yes, she will have to spend the next few years of her life just figuring Quinn out."

"That's true. I spent my entire life trying to understand myself."

"Number nine, Quinn doesn't have the track record of the best girlfriend."

It was when Quinn went all serious, "I know that Rachel. I know that I hadn't been the best girlfriend to you. I spent the past year trying to figure out how it works for us because I am still scared of everything that's happened in the past. But today, I am giving you the letterman jacket, the scrapbook, Lucy and everything that has something to do with the past because I want us to not be threatened of it anymore. It hurt. The memories hurt but I realized that it was the reason why I am here now. The past made me realize how much I need you in my life, Rach. The past reminds me, everyday, that I like who you turned me into because this Quinn – this Quinn that is talking to you right now – is so much more than the girl in the past. I don't want you to feel like you have to make up for the wrongs you did in the past. I know that's how I made you feel for the past year and I'm sorry, Rach. I'm sorry for not making you feel how special you really are to me. The past year had been about me trying to figure out where the pieces fit but I want the next few years to be about you... being my wife," Quinn said clear and straight. She was slightly out of breath but she felt brave. Finally, the message was sent to Rachel.

Rachel, meanwhile, was trembling. She still couldn't believe it.

_If there's somebody calling me on. She's the one._

There was one more item though.

"Number ten... there's more than 10 reasons why Rachel Berry shouldn't marry Quinn Fabray. It can't fit it this scrap book anymore : ( "

Rachel smiled because it was just too cute.

"Turn to the next page, Rach."

_There's more._

Rachel nervously turned to the next page and cried the moment she saw what was written, again Quinn's bare handwriting.

10

7

3

1 _Reason Why Rachel Berry SHOULD Marry Quinn Fabray_

"Quinn Fabray loves Rachel Berry," Rachel read as her voice broke mid-sentence. She's just so happy.

"I tried to give more reasons, Rach. But that's the only thing I can give you. I love you. I don't know of it's enough but that's the only thing I have that I am certain. I love you and if you want to, I'm gonna make you feel that_ every single day_ for the rest of our lives. I love you and I want your last name to replace mine because I'm yours, Rach. Only yours."

Quinn took the ring out of the box and looked Rachel in the eyes.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, will you marry me?"

Rachel felt like she could die any minute now.

She didn't know that it could happen to her: to look someone in the eyes, to hear someone talk and feel just how much they love you. But it was happening to her. Quinn was looking at her and she saw love. Quinn just had her proposal speech and all Rachel could hear was love.

She would have wanted to be the one proposing but it was magical – the way Quinn said everything, the way she did it, the ring; the moment. Rachel wanted to step out of this scene and watch it unfold in front of her because for the first time in her life, she believed that love _could be _enough.

Quinn only gave her one reason why she should say yes and Rachel would swear, for the rest of her life, that she's gonna hold on to that – no matter what.

She looked at the ring and then straight back up at Quinn's eyes. She wanted to scream the answer so loud but feared that it would wake her up, if in case she was just dreaming.

"Yes," she said under breath. She was overwhelmed. There were just no words to describe how happy she felt. Rachel's tears fell rapidly from her eyes as she saw Quinn smile. Quinn wasn't crying but her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"I'll marry you, Quinn!" Rachel verified almost squealing as Quinn slid the ring on her finger.

Rachel then launched herself to Quinn and hugged her for dear life because finally, they were off that ground. They were off the same ground they had been in the past few years of their life.

And here Rachel Berry is, about to move forward to rest of her life with Quinn Fabray, her future wife.

"Oh God, I love you, Quinn!" Rachel said as she kissed Quinn passionately.

"I love you, Rach. I can't imagine losing you. It's too much to imagine."

They both felt like they could fly; like the rest of the world didn't exist.

Both of them didn't know that it was possible to feel as happy as they felt at that moment.

To Rachel, it was about leaving the past behind and moving forward to a future with the one she had loved since day one.

For Quinn, it was all about moving forward – despite history, despite herself. She felt unafraid of the future for the first time in her life because she knows she'll be spending it with Rachel.

Quinn cupped Rachel's face and looked at her straight in the eyes, "I'm not going to say that it'll be easy, Rach but I promise you it's going to be worth it."

"You're the best thing that happened to me, Quinn. We're gonna be fine, baby. We're gonna make it," she assured her because she knew that after this night, she'll be willing to travel to hell and back just make it work with Quinn.

_Her Quinn._

"I will not be scared anymore, Rach. Who were are, right at this moment, is all I care about."

Rachel smiled playfully as she tried to contain her burst of emotions, "I'm trying to think of the best color for the wedding!"

Quinn laughed so hard that it hurt her face. _Dear God, thank you._

"And I'm also thinking how I never guessed that this is a set up!"

Quinn kissed her _fiance _again because it was the only sensible thing to do. Her heart was in overdrive and as she wrapped her fiance in her arms, she looked up and silently prayed to the God she had believed in all her life.

She thanked Him because she knew, no matter how crazy it sounds, that He gave Rachel to her.

For probably the first time in her life, she believed that everything, indeed, happens for a reason.

Rachel is her reason. Rachel is the reason for every good and bad thing that happened to her and even if she had lived a hard life, she will never change a thing because Rachel Berry is the reason Quinn Fabray learned to live.

She smiled as she kissed Rachel's temple. All the bad things, all the mistakes, all the wrong decisions led her to the only thing that's right about her life right now. From this point forward, the past will be nothing but a memory; a bittersweet memory that led her to the sweetest thing that happened to her. _It's Rachel._

_ It will always be Rachel._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I know it's not the grandest proposal ever but I loved Q's list in the end. x In the scrapbook stuff, I referred to a scene that was cut in Season 2 when and R and Q spent the night writing a song. (If you haven't read it, check out the Rachel-Quinn Glee Wiki)<strong>_

_**Hah. Do you want to read about how Santana will get back on Quinn for the cliff dive? Hmm. Let me know! We have a few more chapters left and if you have any suggestions about this, please just hit the review button or message me!**_

_**I might have to warn you for the next few chapters, it's gonna be one heck of a roller coaster! : )**_


	55. Chapter 55: What Scares You?

**A/N: Again, this one's been a long time coming. But here's another update. WARNING: A long one. : ) To those who's still reading this, a huge THANK YOU and loads of HUGS for you for sticking around.**

**Only a few more chapters before we conclude.**

* * *

><p><em>WMHS Graduation Day, About Six Years Ago<em>

Principal Figgins stood in front of the student body grinning proudly, "Students, parents, I would like you all to give a round of applause for Quinn Fabray as she's about to deliver her valedictory address."

Soon as Mr. Figgins finished his _very _warm introduction, Quinn made her way towards the stage as her batch mates clapped proudly for her. She smiled one more time as she stood behind the platform and fixed the microphone.

She took a deep breath and then sought Rachel in the crowd. Their eyes met for a fraction of second before she looked away and began the speech she only thought about last night, "Principal Figgins, honored guests, members of the administration, faculty and staff, batchmates, friends, ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon."

She was nervous but she knew she can't mess this one up.

"Speaking in front of an audience is always a tough task, and speaking in behalf of the batch, adds pressure to the situation. I must admit, I feel overjoyed but at the same time apprehensive at this moment. However, I am not afraid to stand here in front of everyone to bid my farewell because I know that just like me, every student wearing a toga in this room, is bound for great things ahead."

She saw Santana roll her eyes at her dramatic opening. Her best friend warned her to make it short and simple because she just wanted to get the hell out of this place. She can see Brittany concentrating, trying her best to understand her speech. She can see Rachel smiling, looking lovingly at her and suddenly, she felt a little braver – only Rachel does that to her.

"Today's event marks another past tense in our lives. I am sure that most of us feel accomplished surpassing four difficult years here at William McKinley High School," she paused to smile. "Who could ever forget the times we prayed that our teachers will forget about the homework we failed to work on? And who could ever forget how many times we forgot these homework in the first place? Who could not remember how it felt seeing your first high school crush? And who could not remember how it felt falling in love for the first time?"

This time, she looks at Rachel and sees the diva with tears in her eyes. She wanted to cry with her, too, but no, she isn't gonna break down in front of the student body.

"Looking back at these moments brings happiness and sadness but let us not forget that this day also marks a present tense. Now is a time for celebration – a celebration of the efforts we gave to reach this day; to exit this school with our heads held up high. This is a time to acknowledge everyone who has helped us get through the tough times, the people who kept us together when our lives almost fell apart. High school is challenging for everyone but today is the day we reap the fruits of our labor."

She took a deep breath and looked around her. These students are all looking up to her, listening to every word she's saying. She's standing in front of the entire school that feared her when she was on top and crushed her when she was down. She's standing in front of all of them – as their class valedictorian. Now, they're looking up at her for all the right reasons.

"After four years of challenges and endless high school parties, today's event marks a future tense. I am sure that some of us have spent a large amount of time contemplating about what lies ahead. Some of us may be staying here in Lima while others will surely try their luck in other places. But I have two dreams for all of us here today. One, I wish that no matter what happens, we'll go back here in this very school someday and remember how much this place shaped whoever we will be five, ten years from now; and two, I wish that in between this day and that day, do one thing every day that scares you."

"Do the things you never tried to do before. Explore. Go out there and experience the world because we're only young once. We only have now and the next few years to take a leap and build our wings on the way down. Our mistakes make us human but the scars we got from it make us who we are. Risks don't define character, they reveal them. So, from this day forward, start living without regrets."

She smiles for the last time, "When the future comes, I hope we'll all look back to this day and smile because it marked an eventful past, a memorable present, and a spectacular future. I, Lucy Quinn Fabray, bid farewell to you but we shall see each other someday. Thank you."

_Back to the present_

"What scares you Quinn?" Santana asked her and she rolled her eyes because she knew, very well, that Santana already had a plan in her head.

They're in a God damned limo on their way to one of New York City's most high-end gay bars and she's with the Glee girls who all travelled to New York for her bridal shower.

"Come on, Quinn," Mercedes said as she sipped from her glass of wine. "That was a nice speech back then, did you live up to it?"

"I did everything that scared me in UCLA, okay?" Quinn lied. She was too hung up on Rachel that she failed to do that during the years she spent in college.

"Liar," Santana said, smirking. "You've always been afraid of gay bars, Quinn."

"That's seriously offensive," Kurt said. Yep, Kurt is with the girls, again.

"No!" Quinn cried. "That's not it."

"She never came with me when I went to gay bars during college," Santana added.

"Shut up, San!" Quinn said in frustration.

"Come on, Quinn! For a girl who's been in love with a girl for years, you're pretty much still a pressed lemon," Kurt commented and Santana's laughter reverberated inside the limo.

"Kurt, for goodness' sakes, she's not a pressed lemon. She's out, out there!" Santana snickered.

"Q is just afraid to know that she's not _just _gay for Rachel Berry," Brittany explained.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "I am really happy that Tina has delivered her baby a long time ago, because really San, B, you're grossing out everyone here."

Sugar – who they haven't seen in years – playfully clapped, "Oh no, this is interesting."

"It doesn't make sense, Santana," Quinn said, emphasizing on her best friend's name.

"The cliff dive didn't make sense to me until you explained it," Santana smirked mischievously. "You'll understand later."

"Please, bitch," Quinn rolled her eyes in HBIC fashion. "What is there to understand about the fact that you're taking me to a gay bar? This is you, trying to turn me into Santana 2.0."

"Oh no, Quinn. You can't walk a mile, or even a meter, in my shoes. So please, just shut up and take it all in!"

o-o-o-o-o

"Rachel, really, stop pacing," Blaine told her as the guy stared amused at her actions.

Meanwhile, while Quinn was on her way to her bridal shower that her self-proclaimed maid-of-honor organized, Rachel was pacing in front of Blaine and Carla. They were at Rachel's living room just watching her get anxious about the entirety of Santana's plan.

"Blaine!" Rachel yelled anxiously. "Santana is taking her to a gay bar with loads of women!"

Blaine chuckled, "It's her bridal shower, Rach."

"I don't know what Santana's plan is!"

"For the short time I've known Santana, I'm sure she's planning something crazy," Carla teased.

"You see that? And you barely know her! See that Blaine?"

Blaine nodded and teasingly turned to Carla, "I wonder what Quinn's type is."

Carla got the message and chuckled, "Well, aside from small, talented brunette ladies."

Rachel just stared at them in disbelief.

"Does she like tall women?"

"Or does she like, voluptuous ones? You know, those we typically see on gay bars."

"Really, Carla? Blaine? Really?" Rachel asked sarcastically.

"What? We were just wondering. Since you tried to hook up with that Emily girl, we all have been fixated to the idea that Quinn-like girls are your type."

"Quinn, on the other hand, hasn't expressed interest in any girl –"

"Aside from Phoebe, who doesn't count because she practically squeezed herself in the picture."

"Oh!" Carla cried in excitement. "I wonder if she gets a lap dance!"

"Carla!" Rachel cried in frustration.

Blaine can barely control his laughter, "If the whole thing is Santana's plan, I'm sure there's more to this night than just a lap dance!"

"I can't believe you two! I called you here to keep me calm and stop me from going all the way there in case I felt like taking Quinn home anytime!"

"Come on, Rachel. You can't be serious about this whole thing. Are you threatened?"

Rachel turned to Carla with wide eyes.

_Is she?_

Blaine shook his head smilingly, "Come on, Rachel, the girl just proposed to you."

Rachel huffed as she collapsed on the recliner, "You can't blame me! Look at me, really, really look at me."

Both Carla and Blaine looked at her.

"Do you think I stand a chance against any of those voluptuous women you're talking about? Physically, I mean. Talent is out of the question. Answer me."

Blaine and Carla looked at her and said in unison, "No."

"Exactly my point! You should know by know what scares me in this scenario."

"But these are _our _eyes, not Quinn's."

"I don't understand what Quinn saw in you anyway," Blaine teased.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Thanks, Blaine, really. Some friend you are."

Blaine just laughed, "Seriously, Rachel. Calm down."

Carla nodded, "Trust Quinn, Rachel. That girl is crazy about you."

Rachel looked at Carla and felt a bit relieved.

Blaine chuckled, "Might as well trust San, too. She might be a bitch but she knows what she's doing."

o-o-o-o-o

An hour later, Quinn found herself inside Hello, Manhattan – a _seriously_ high-end gay bar downtown New York.

She and her friends are sitting on a large booth inside the white-and-pink themed bar watching as a few people – women – settle on their seats for the upcoming show.

She was sitting stiffly beside Brittany and Santana who both look so excited. She looked at the other glee girls – even Kurt – and they all mirrored the same excited look in her best friends' faces.

She doesn't understand how Tina, Sugar and Mercedes – and even Kurt – have the heart to be excited about this. They're the boy crazy people in the group but she chose not to voice her question.

_Maybe, they're charging it to experience._

She doesn't understand what makes her nervous.

It's true what Santana said – she had never been to a gay bar, aside from that one time last year.

It scared her to be around a bunch of lesbians or bi-curious women or experimenting girls – Santana and Brittany are exceptions, of course. She didn't understand, maybe it's a gay panic. Or maybe, she just can't imagine flirting with another woman, in a sexual kind of way, if that girl isn't Rachel Berry.

She likes to think that she's loyal to Rachel but a larger part of her tells her it's all about her inexperience in that area.

She felt Santana's hand squeeze her thigh and her best friend just gave her a reassuring look. She was almost going to believe Santana but as soon as that, the mischievous grin spread across the Latina's face again, making her roll her eyes for the hundredth time that night.

Quinn's horror heightened when a girl – all thighs, hips and big boobs – approached them to serve their drinks.

Santana ordered a shot of _Everclear _for everyone – 95% alcohol. If she swallowed a lighter, she'd burn up in an instant.

"We have a driver waiting outside, no one is supposed to take the driver responsibility so, everyone! Drink up!" Santana declared and everyone just roared in excitement.

"To Quinn!" Brittany cheered as she raised her shot and everyone, including Quinn, mimicked the action.

Quinn took her shot in and felt a pang of heat in her throat as the Everclear roamed down to her stomach.

"Holy shit!" Quinn cursed.

Tina was coughing as she laughed hysterically, "That was awesome!"

Quinn shook her head to dust off the sudden dizziness she was feeling. It tasted bitter but really, 95% alcohol can take you down, hard and fast.

"That's only the beginning. Remember people, we're all trying to get Quinn drunk!" Santana declared and everyone just laughed at it.

A few minutes of light drinks and non-cerebral conversations, the lights dimmed inside the bar. The few groups of women inside the lounge, including their group (aside from Quinn), all cheered in excitement as the spotlight on the center stage lighted up.

A sultry, suggestive voice of a woman was then heard all over the place, "Ladies, may I present to you, Stargazer."

At that, everyone in the room burst into a round of applause and wolf-whistles.

_Holy shit, these people are crazy._

"That's a ridiculous name!" Quinn told Santana over the loud music that started playing.

"Wait and see how ridiculously hot she is!" Santana shouted back at her.

Soon as that, a woman went up the center stage and seductively approached the pole in the middle of it.

She was barely dressed.

_Crap._

She was only wearing a red, oversized button-up shirt, underwear, and a pair of stilettos. She's wearing a black, feathery mask that covered the upper half of her face. Her brown and curly hair was all messed up in a… sexy kind of way.

It was definitely the alcohol.

Quinn found herself attracted to the girl who, in her honest opinion looked as if she came out from a cheap porn movie, was already pole dancing to the tune of some suggestive instrumental.

"That is so hot," Santana commented as she took a shot of tequila straight up.

"I cannot believe this," Kurt cried in obvious displeasure.

"What can you say, Q?" Brittany asked as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Quinn turned to her, "Am I supposed to say anything?"

"Do you think you can sleep with her?" Brittany asked nonchalantly, as if it was an everyday thing.

Quinn's eyes widened in surprise, "What?"

"Santana said you want to have sexy times with other women."

"What? B? That's not true!"

Santana chuckled audibly, "Come on, Q. You must be wondering sometimes how it feels to touch other people! It pains me to even think that the only sexual encounters you had are with Puck and unfortunately, Rachel."

Quinn took her shot of tequila straight up and despite the burning sensation in her throat, she bantered, "News flash Santana, not everyone loves sex as much as _you _do!"

"We'll see about that, Q. We'll see."

The tone that Santana used on her last statement was enough to tell Quinn that she had the whole night planned. Whatever her intentions are, Quinn was sure Santana was going to get it.

The next few minutes have gone by so fast that Quinn found herself light-headed because of the excessive alcohol intake.

"Rach – Rach's go…nna kill mmmmeee," Quinn said and her friends just laughed.

In between the drinks and the rounds of hot women straddling the _lucky _pole on the center stage, Quinn didn't notice that Santana and Brittany had long stopped drinking while the others were only having light drinks. All the hard shots went straight to Quinn and maybe it's the thrill of her bridal shower, she actually enjoyed watching the show and taking all the shots in.

The next thing Quinn knew, Santana raised her hand to call the attention of the nearby waitress – all thighs, hips and big boobs – and told her, "Our friend right here is getting married soon and she would like to explore her last few days as a single woman. Would you offer her some sort of excitement, please?"

Despite the buzzing feeling in her head, she didn't miss the way the waitress smirked and nodded.

_Holy shit! Santana's pulling off the master plan._

"Santana!" she shouted. It was totally unnecessary to shout, really, but she felt like it. "Wh – why are yyyyou ddoing this ta meeeeh?"

Santana just smirked her signature smirk, "Even if I tell you, you won't even remember it!"

"Trrrry meee," Quinn said as her head swayed to her sides.

"Quinn is so cute when she's drunk," Sugar commented.

Santana turned to the rest of the group, who was already watching them, "Turn to the show, ladies! This is a best friend's moment!"

Everyone just smilingly turned to the pole dancing show, which, in Kurt's opinion was getting lamer and lamer each second that passed.

"This scares you, Q!" Santana said looking Quinn straight in the eyes.

Santana knew Quinn when she's drunk. She could be flirty and angry but still, Quinn has developed good listening skills even when she's all buzzed. Santana knew that although Quinn will not remember everything when she wakes up tomorrow, her bestfriend will recognize the reason why she took her here.

"….sssss not."

Though she was sitting, Quinn's body was wobbling due to the amount of alcohol she had been taking in the whole night.

"Q, look at me."

Quinn's head playfully shot up as she tried to look at Santana through sleepy and tired eyes. Santana nearly laughed at the… _adorableness_ of her best friend.

"Your inner dork is showing, Q," Brittany said as she stilled Quinn by holding her by the shoulders.

"…sss no dorkkkk."

"Okay, Q. You're not a dork but this scares you!"

"What? Nothing…. Sccarrres Qqqquin Fabraeey."

"Except for the fact that she's afraid of cheating on Rachel."

Santana said it so softly because even she, herself, cannot accept how heartwarming and touching it was. The Latina cupped Quinn's face to still her head and met her eyes.

"You have always been afraid to come with me to gay bars because you always felt as if you were violating Rachel and it scares you because in high school, you have cheated on Sam and Finn. It scares you, knowing that you're capable of cheating and you don't want to do that to Rachel."

Brittany wrapped her arms around Quinn, hugging her from the back, "You hate it that you feel that your lack of experience will make you lose control."

Tears started brimming in Quinn's eyes.

"You never say anything about it but the mistakes you did in the past still haunts you, Quinn and it scares you shitless. It scares you, everyday, that you'd turn back to the person who hurt Rachel constantly in the past. You're so scared of losing her Quinn that's why you never want to face your demons in fear that you might push her away again," Santana said in a low voice. Everyone saw it again – Santana turned into best friend mode.

"But I'm not letting you do that to yourself, Quinn. _You, _you're the one that always told me that we are so much better than the person we were in high school. I _need _you to believe in _this _Quinn, drunk or not, _this _Quinn will never cheat on Rachel Berry."

Tears finally ran down Quinn's face.

"Before you marry the midget, I need you to believe and _commit _to _this _Quinn right here. I need you to re-face the Quinn that did that drunken mistake with Puck a few years ago and I need _this _Quinn to correct it all at once."

Santana had unshed tears, too and Brittany just smiled at her wife's rare display of vulnerability.

Quinn was about to forgive Santana for the night but the loud sound coming from the center stage caught her attention.

Stargazer, while still wearing her mask and barely anything at all, had the microphone in her hand as she sought for something inside the small lounge.

"I heard we have a bride-to-be here tonight!" she opened and every person in the room cheered in excitement; even Santana and Brittany who quickly slipped out of the sappy mode they were in a few seconds ago.

"She's right here!" Mercedes shouted in excitement.

"Oh no, what is she gonna do?" Quinn asked as Santana pulled her up from her seat without a warning.

The next thing Quinn knew, she was being dragged up the stage and being pushed to a chair which, she was sure, was not there a while ago.

_Holy crap._

"Why don't I give her a little send off gift?" Stargazer asked the audience and the audience cheered again.

Quinn's eyes went all wide and she started feeling nervous. She turned to her friends but all of them were also excited to see the _gift _and Kurt already started filming the whole freaking thing.

"Do you know what we do with brides-to-be on nights like this?" Stargazer asked her and then, gave her the microphone.

Quinn just shook her head.

"Too adorable, isn't she?" Stargazer asked the audience once again. "Sorry ladies, she's taken!"

The audience playfully groaned in disappointment.

"But that doesn't mean we don't get to see her go crazy about my famous… _lap dance_," she said the last two words in sing-song pattern.

Quinn instantly turned to Santana and saw her smirking in the most evil way she can and she knew in an instant that Santana's night was all going according to plan.

"Fuck you, Santana!" she shouted in sudden burst of emotions and the audience, including Santana, just laughed.

"Wow, Santana, must be so lucky," Stargazer said suggestively.

Then, as simple as that, another suggestive instrumental came into the speakers and the next thing Quinn knew, Stargazer was already dancing – on top of her.

Quinn froze and cursed Santana inside her head. Well, Stargazer was kinda hot, despite the lame stripper name and her legs were long…

And Quinn just realized how much of a leg woman she really is, and so it seemed that Rachel was an exception but Rachel had really nice legs too…

Her thoughts were all over the place and it even got more messed up when the stripper – what was her name again – started unbuttoning her only garment, which was not completely buttoned up in the first place.

Maybe it was the alcohol but when Stargazer guided her hands to touch her, she felt something inside her burned… to hell.

_Damn! She's hot._

Everyone around her cheered in excitement when Stargazer – right, that's it – forced her to hold her by the waist. She turned to Santana and her best friend was just laughing hysterically.

But being friends with Santana for years, she saw something in Santana's eyes that was challenging her. There was a look in Santana's eyes that was challenging her – to get out of this situation.

Her history has proved just how helpless she can be when she's under the influence of alcohol.

She was about to stand up and run and proudly tell Santana that she didn't win but _damn _Stargazer, she suddenly straddled Quinn sitting on her lap and snaking her arms around Quinn's neck.

On instinct, she found herself holding her waist for support because she didn't want to let her fall; at least that's what she kept telling herself.

Stargazer sure knew how to give one hell of a lap dance. Finally, poor red shirt dropped to the floor and there was nothing on but her lacey underwear and her pair of stilettos and her feathery mask.

Everyone in the room had gone crazy.

_God! These women are pervs._

And maybe, Quinn had gone crazy, too.

Stargazer was enjoying teasing Quinn by rubbing herself on her and Quinn felt a _little _aroused but she couldn't help imagining it was Rachel.

_Jesus! That would be hot._

Then, despite the alcohol and despite being a _little _aroused, Quinn chose to close her eyes and pretend she was enjoying it by keeping her hands on Stargazer.

"San, I think she's getting hot," Brittany said as she observed Quinn.

Santana just smirked and they all continued to watch the action for good two minutes.

Santana would admit, Stargazer was hot and if she had been the one that was given the privilege of the lap dance, she would have dragged her to the back room and fucked her senselessly. Not that she'd ever do that Brittany but really, Stargazer was _that _provocative.

She and Brittany continued to watch Quinn as she held her by the waist, eyes closed and all. Santana liked to think that Quinn was savoring it but…

Two minutes have passed and Quinn's eyes were just shut and Santana knew that her hold on Stargazer wasn't a grip at all. She was waiting for Quinn to flinch or shift uncomfortably but there was no sense of reaction from Quinn.

She seemed frozen.

"San, why is Quinn not moving?" Brittany asked as she stood slowly.

Obviously, Santana's not the only one to notice that.

Then, just like that Quinn's hand dropped to her sides lifelessly but her eyes didn't open – at all.

_It clicked._

It freaking clicked and when they got what was happening, Brittany and Santana laughed loudly.

"What's happening?" Sugar turned to Brittany and Santana as they scrambled out of the booth, dropping their glasses of whiskey on the table.

In the middle of laughing, Santana shook her head in amusement, "Quinn is sleeping."

Brittany nodded proudly, "She fell asleep!"

That and the couple made their way towards the center stage to fetch the third member of the Unholy Trinity – who fell asleep in the middle of a freaking hot lap dance.

o-o-o-o-o

"You were so trying to get me laid with a stripper!" Quinn told no one in particular.

It was way past midnight when Brittany and Santana decided to _walk _Quinn home.

The limo took a different route taking their other friends to their respective hotels and so to avoid the hassle, Santana and Brittany offered to walk Quinn home. The Latina will never admit it but she has missed their Unholy Trinity bonding.

"It would have been epic, Q!" Santana exclaimed.

Quinn was in between her and Brittany with her arms snaked around their shoulders for support. She was still a lot wobbly and the effects of alcohol haven't worn out. It was a little chilly walking down the streets of New York at one in the morning but none of them seemed to give a single damn about it.

"If I was Stargazer, I would have been sad. You fell asleep on her dance; it was like falling asleep on Rachel's version of _Don't Rain On My Parade_!" Brittany said laughingly.

"I will never fall asleep on that!" Quinn said under her breath. "I can't believe you would do that to me, Santana!"

"You made me jump on a cliff!"

"It's still about the cliff?"

Santana laughed, "Whatever, Q. You're drunk."

"Mmmm not."

Brittany nodded smilingly, "Right."

There was a brief silence with only the sounds of traffic filling the air.

"I love you, San, Brit," Quinn said silently as she wobbled on her steps.

Brittany cooed as Santana dramatically rolled her eyes.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Let's just hope you'll never get to find out," Brittany said as she kissed Quinn's temple.

"Rach's going to kill me, though," Quinn said. "Quinn stinks of some other woman's perfume."

"She's probably dying to see and get you laid!" Santana teased.

Quinn playfully wiggled her eyebrows, "That's hot."

"_Oh my God, _I can't believe you just wiggled your eyebrows like that!"

"Dork," Brittany commented.

"Sssss not a dork," Quinn denied.

"Quinn Fabray is a huge, sappy dork," Santana said smilingly.

"Do you know that Rachel's always on top when we make love?"

Brittany laughed hard as Santana's mouth hung open in disbelief.

"Told you, San, I was right!"

"The images," Santana said shaking her head in disgust. "Now, I feel like barfing."

"Aaaand she likes to do it more than once," Quinn said nonchalantly.

"Oh my God, Q! No, stop it!" Brittany said laughingly as Santana stayed shocked at what Quinn was saying.

"Why do you two act as if you don't do it everyday?"

"Quinn, having sex with your wife is different than getting images of your best friend making love with Rachel Berry of all people!" Santana cried. "Britts, I think I'm gonna be sick!"

Brittany laughed, "Make that both of us."

Quinn laughed as well, "And Rachel likes to do it in the –"

"Stop, Q! Really!" Santana cried, scandalized.

o-o-o-o-o

The three of them were still laughing at a random topic about Lord Tubbington and his parrot girlfriend when they reached Rachel's apartment.

Brittany used her keys to get in and soon as the sound of their laughs and footsteps echoed inside the room, Rachel Berry came into picture right away.

"Oh my God, what did you two do to her?" Rachel said as she quickly approached a barely awake Quinn, who was still clinging on to Santana and Brittany's shoulders.

"Thank me later, Berry," Santana said as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm gonna go get something for Quinn to drink," Brittany said as she removed Quinn's arm around her and put it over Rachel's. She then made her way to the kitchen.

"Damn, Q's heavy when she's drunk!" Santana cried.

"Help me bring her to the room," said Rachel as she and Santana struggled to bring her to the room.

o-o-o-o-o

In a few minutes, Santana and Rachel had successfully brought sleeping Quinn to the room and settled her peacefully on the bed.

"How much did she drink tonight?" Rachel said as she moved to the closet and took out a pair of comfortable pajamas for Quinn.

"A lot," Santana said as she stretched her arms to her sides, easing the slight pain of carrying Quinn. "Come on, Berry, it's her bridal shower."

"You shouldn't have brought her here. That's how the tradition goes," Rachel lectured.

"Quinn won't stop going on about it! She was practically punching me on the way home! And besides, I bet you so wanted to see her just to make sure I didn't get her laid with somebody else."

Brittany then came in to the room with a glass of water at hand.

"Is she awake?" Brittany asked as she placed the glass of water on the nightstand.

"I don't think so," Santana said as they both stared at Quinn.

"She passed out."

"I have always admired your extraordinary sense of observation, Santana," Rachel said sarcastically as she sat beside Quinn and started undressing her.

"You have no idea what she did tonight," Santana teased.

"I think, I have. She smells like some sort of a hooker. This is all your idea," Rachel said rolling her eyes as Brittany and Santana chuckled.

As Rachel started unbuttoning Quinn's top, the blonde stirred in her sleep and practically hugged herself to stop Rachel from completely undressing her.

"Don't," she mumbled.

"Quinn, we have to –"

"Don't do that. I'm getting married," Quinn said absent-mindedly.

Rachel quickly took her hand back as tears instantly brimmed in her eyes. Santana smirked victoriously and Brittany just cooed at the sight.

"Mmmmy bestfriend set me up but I won't be sleeping with you tonight, sorry. I love my girlfriend."

Rachel turned to Santana and the Latina just shrugged, "Told you can thank me later."

Rachel just smiled.

It was such a simple moment, a simple gesture yet it secured her even more – looks like Quinn's into this more than she appears to be.

She looked at Quinn and realized that it still surprises her that she's about to marry the most beautiful girl she knows. Rachel didn't know how she got this lucky but she isn't gonna waste this luck, not now or in the next few years because she believed what Brittany told said at the rehearsal dinner.

_Remember that the world is huge and if you let that one person go, you'd have to search the whole world again._

The future – it scares her.

But when Quinn proposed to her, she knew she will be fine.

Quinn and Rachel will be fine.

_No matter what._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Just like always, I loved the Quintana in this chapter. : )<strong>_

_**Hope you liked it!**_

_**For the next chapter: Rachel's bridal shower and one final round of Phoebe vs Rachel.**_


	56. Chapter 56: Black and White

**A/N: After all these times, I can't believe that I still have people reading this. Here's a cool trivia: I started writing this on May 12, 2011. It's about to be a year old next week! (My file name is the date I started writing it. HAHAHA)**

**BTW, forgive me about my misuse of "bridal shower" in the previous chapter. I made sure that it's properly used here now.**

**Anyway, here's another chapter and a long one. Brace yourselves.**

* * *

><p>To say the least, Rachel was surprised to know that her bridal shower didn't involve a cliff dive or a bungee jumping activity.<p>

Of course she expected it to be non-traditional because one, her former roommate – who bungee jumped after graduation – was planning it and two, Brittany and Santana have had quite impressive bridal bashes of their own.

But she was more than pleased to know that for once, something about her insane, upcoming wedding was going to be incredibly normal.

A few hours after Quinn proposed to her at the end of summer, (don't be shocked) Rachel already had a concept in mind. All she needed to do was tell Carla about it and her publicist-turned-wedding-planner was immediately on it. Although it scared her a little that Carla asked for Brittany's help in planning the entire wedding, she just trusted her because that's the better option than trusting Quinn with everything because really, Quinn had the utmost tendency to turn into Bridezilla. _Seriously._

The wedding is in a few months and Rachel only knew one thing: _it's going to be a huge wedding_. Two hundred and fifty guests, The Hamptons, the sunset – it needed to be perfect.

She chuckled remembering how the media got crazy over the diamond ring she was wearing a day after Quinn proposed. Carla told her not to say anything and let the speculations go around for a while because it has been bringing positive attention to her and Quinn's relationship.

She also remembered how her fathers squealed in excitement when they heard that Quinn proposed and she will never forget that Leroy instantly talked about grandchildren.

She smiled as she looked outside the window of the town car she was in. She smiled upon remembering how thrilled Quinn was when she woke up the morning after her bachelorette party. Quinn couldn't control her happiness seeing a ring on her finger that Rachel slipped on when she was sleeping.

She remembers Quinn running to her and hugging her with tears in her eyes because the ring made her so happy and she just wished it was from Rachel and not from one of the girls Santana tried to link to her. She even cried harder when Rachel told her the story of the ring and how she beat her by a few hours on the night she proposed.

She also remembers how Quinn just stared at her as she said, "I slid the ring last night when you were asleep. I knew you weren't your best at that time and I hated the smell of some other woman on your clothes but if I cannot handle you at your worst, I certainly do not deserve you at your best."

Quinn even asked, "So you proposed while I was drunk?"

She also remembers answering, "No, _you _already proposed. I just made you a promise – a promise that I will love you, drunk or not."

It was crazy and sometimes unbelievable how everything fell into place. It scared her to a certain degree but with what happened after Quinn's bachelorette party, she knew everything was going to be alright.

She's on her way to her bridal shower that Brittany, with Santana's help, planned. She didn't know who was going to be there but she was excited.

_**The town car will pick you up in about an hour. Wear anything black or white. It's your day, Rach!**_

That was Brittany's text and so she did. She wore a white dress and a pair of black boots, topped with a black trench coat, which proved to be useful because New York could be such a pain in the ass during the late days of fall.

Finally, the town car pulled over and when she got off, she smiled because she knew that it was going to be another round of Brittany's Nicholas Sparks moments.

She looked around and smiled warmly at the venue that Brittany chose: The River Cafe in Brooklyn.

o-o-o-o-o

When she approached the entrance of the cafe, a man in a nice suit and bow tie approached her and greeted, "Good evening, Ms. Rachel Berry. This way please."

She was led towards the end of the cafe and as she walked past the dining room, she was instantly enamored by the sight of the New York skyline – the infamous night skyline view of lower Manhattan including the entire stretch of the Brooklyn Bridge.

She had lunch in this place before but it was different at night. It was dreamy. It looked as if it came straight from a Google photo search when you enter the keywords "New York". Years after she had grown accustomed to the lights and the glamour of New York City, she always thought that photos of the night skyline were overrated and exaggeratedly edited but she had never seen lower Manhattan and from this view at night – across the river, across the city. It was amazing and breathtaking and she was instantly reminded why she loved New York in the first place.

"Your friends are waiting, Ma'am," the man said as he slid the glass door open and she was instantly greeted by her friends – the Glee girls, Kurt and Carla.

She stepped inside the Terrace Room sporting her mega-watt smile because the place looked so serene and calm and well-themed.

Everything was in black in white, and few reds (the flowers and table napkins) – including the way her friends dressed.

She turned to her right and saw a few bowls of small slices of strawberries and two fountains of dark chocolate. What made her smile were the little bowls of red, white, and black M&Ms set just beside the strawberries and fountains.

Brittany, who was wearing a nice, knee-length white dress and whose hair was up in a loose ponytail, approached her smilingly said, "The other chocolate fountain is vegan-friendly, don't worry, Ray."

"Everything they'll give you is vegan-friendly except for the M&Ms," Santana, who was wearing a simple, form-fitting black dress and whose hair was neatly let down, interjected as she smiled.

_Santana is clearly the queen of form-fitting black dresses._

Rachel nodded smilingly as she took one more look around her – it was simply amazing. The room was lit by some weak yellowish light and a few nice lamps stood at the corner. There were a few tables around since the room could accommodate up to a hundred guests. At the far end of room was a huge, white couch, which looked as if it was only there for tonight's event.

If the view by the dining room was awesome, nothing compares to the view they have by the deck. She already wanted to bring Quinn here.

"Welcome to your bridal shower, Rach," Brittany said cheerfully and everyone clapped their hands in excitement.

o-o-o-o-o

They all sat in one large table for dinner – Rachel, Brittany, Santana, Kurt, Tina, Mercedes, Sugar and Carla. Kurt was already telling Carla about Rachel's rendition of a certain Miley Cyrus hit when she lost her voice and everyone was having a good laugh about some funny high school memories.

The food was vegan-friendly and Rachel hated to admit that the cafe was quickly becoming her new favorite place for dinner.

"So, how's our _American Idol_ doing?" Santana asked Mercedes because, yes, Mercedes won – landslide.

Everyone clapped and cheered and it's as if they were back in high school.

Mercedes nodded proudly, "Just finished recording my first ever album and I hope we'd sell really well."

"You would," Rachel said as she wiped the side of her lips with a napkin. "I was on a Twitter party and encouraged all my followers to vote for you at the finale! I'm sure I can convince them to buy your album especially with that heartwarming finale song of yours."

"Thanks for that Rachel," Mercedes said as she smiled. "How's Quinn by the way? I haven't seen her since the bachelorette party last week."

Carla all but growled and Rachel chuckled, "She's turning to the monster bride that she is."

"You know what?" Santana asked. "I was expecting Berry to be the all crammed up person in this wedding but Quinn is the crazier one. I'm surprised."

"Quinn could be a little overbearing sometimes," Rachel said smilingly.

"Sometimes?" Carla cried. "She's overbearing most of the time, especially now."

Kurt laughed, "Really, if someone said in high school that Rachel and Quinn were going to be wife and wife, I'd probably mirror Puck's Mohawk."

Everyone laughed at that.

"Speak of the wedding, I wonder what Carla and Brittany are planning," Tina said as she eyed the girls in question.

Brittany and Carla exchanged looks and smiled.

"Top secret," Brittany said smilingly.

"I'm the bride and they won't tell me," Rachel said as she rolled her eyes.

"Well, that's probably the reason why Quinn is turning into Bridezilla. She definitely hates not having a clue about something important," Tina said.

"We only asked them for the general idea and some details but the whole plan is top secret until it is all in full blueprint. Carla is an amazing wedding planner. I so totally want to get married again," Brittany said smilingly.

"Can we get clues?" Sugar asked.

Carla thought for a moment, "Spring wedding, outdoor and sunset."

They all gasped dramatically.

"A night wedding, how lovely," Kurt said with moon eyes.

"Night is how I want it, outdoor is how Quinn wants it," Rachel said as she nodded.

"Any more clues?" Sugar asked again.

Brittany playfully tapped her chin as she said, "Black and white."

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise and everyone was just impressed.

"Why black and white?" Rachel asked.

"There's also red," Carla added. "Just like how your shower looks like right now."

"I don't understand," Rachel said as she sipped from her glass of white wine. There were no hard drinks for the night, just red and white wines – and Santana has been complaining about it.

"You'll know," Brittany said as she smiled.

o-o-o-o-o

After nearly an hour and after hearing everyone's non-stop stories, it was finally time for the traditional gift giving.

Brittany led her to the huge couch at the end of the room as everyone pulled out seats and settled around her with their gifts at hand.

Carla stood first and handed Rachel a rectangular box about the size of a microwave, wrapped neatly in white gift-wrapper, topped with a black ribbon.

Rachel ripped the nice wrapper open and revealed a collection of Jane Austen books from _Pride and Prejudice_ to _Sense and Sensibility_. Rachel groaned in an instant.

Carla chuckled, "Quinn has read all of them and she won't stop going on about it. You have to read them."

"Why?" Rachel asked. No, she practically cried.

Carla laughed, "When you girls fight, just Jane Austen her and nothing hurts."

Everyone laughed at that including Rachel.

_Looks like she has a lot of reading to do._

Sugar stood next.

"First, I'm gonna give you Rory's gift."

Rachel looked at her in confusion.

"I also asked the boys to send their gifts," Brittany said from her seat.

Sugar handed Rachel a small box about the size of a shoebox. Rachel opened it and there was a lot of confetti topping the actual gift and when she was done digging, she got a _handcuff_.

She raised the said gift in confusion and the moment it was visible to everyone, Santana laughed so loud that it hurt her ears.

"Oh my God!" Santana said in between laughs.

It clicked to Brittany and she started laughing, too, "Sexy Leprechaun."

Nobody got it right away but Kurt soon got the message so did the other girls and Rachel was left wondering.

"Can anyone tell me what's this for?" Rachel said as she turned to Santana.

The Latina wiggled her eyebrows playfully, "Wanky, wanky."

They all had another round of laughs and Rachel just turned pink in sudden realization.

_Oh my God._

A few minutes of Rory-related jokes, they all paid attention to Sugar (who, by the way, was blushing all the while they talked about Rory).

Sugar cleared her throat as she handed Rachel a small envelope about the size of a credit card.

Rachel opened it and revealed a small...

"Calling card?" Rachel said as she turned to Sugar in confusion and then turned back to the calling card and read, "Monique Lhuillier?"

There was an obvious surprise in Rachel's tone and all of them just looked at Sugar in disbelief.

"When I was looking for a gift, I told my Daddy that I was looking for a gift for a bride-to-be and when he asked who it is, I said it's the actress Rachel Berry. My Daddy is such a fan so he helped me find a gift only to find out that he called our family friend Monique and told her about your wedding. Turns out that Monique is also a fan so she said, you can just give her a call for appointment and everything will be covered."

Rachel squealed in excitement as she got up and hugged Sugar for dear life.

It was really a dream come true.

"It also includes Quinn's dress because she adores your fiancé's face so much," Sugar said nonchalantly. "I'm sure you can get nice dresses but I figured it'd lessen the expenses for the already huge wedding you're about to have."

Rachel smiled, "Thank you, Sugar."

Brittany and Carla exchanged high-fives, certain that another part of the wedding planning has been sealed.

"Only for our Captain," Sugar said as she hugged Rachel for one last time and smilingly sat back to her seat.

It warmed Rachel's heart because well, Sugar was not very much her favorite Glee club member but she loved the respect that she gave her.

Tina stood next and smiled, "Wow. That would be hard to top."

Rachel chuckled.

"First, I'd give you Artie's gift."

Tina handed her a thin, square box anyone could guess as a CD.

"He left a message," Tina said as she raised a small piece of paper. She then began to read, "To Rachel, here's a copy of you and Quinn's 'I Feel Pretty/Unpretty'. I cleaned up the audio and that's the best video quality I have of your performance with your fiancé. Congratulations and I'm giving this to you because you forgot to get it from me after we performed 'Born This Way'. I hope that no matter how far you and Quinn will go, you will not forget that you used to be _our _Rachel and Quinn – two people who went out of their ways just to show each other that they cared. I think, I speak in behalf of the New Directions, you'll always be _our_ Rachel and Quinn."

This is where things started to get a little emotional.

"Artie is so sweet," Rachel said as she smiled warmly.

"Wait," Santana asked as she eyed Rachel curiously. "Why did Artie film the whole I Feel Pretty/Unpretty performance?"

Rachel blushed.

Brittany chuckled, "Rach paid him to film it."

"Brittany!"

Everyone in the room laughed.

"What?" Santana asked laughingly. "You paid Artie to film your duet with Quinn?"

Rachel blushed once again as she shyly ducked her head in embarrassment, "As all of you know, I have been into Quinn since freshman year and I feared that it was going to be the only duet I'll have with her. I had to do it."

Everyone just laughed at that but they would never admit that it was kinda endearing.

"I am so telling Quinn about this," Santana said as she dug for her phone and started punching a text.

Tina smilingly handed Rachel a medium-sized box. Rachel willingly opened it, eager to drop the whole I Feel Pretty/Unpretty thing.

When she finally did, she instantly laughed at Tina's present. She held it out for everyone to see and they all just laughed at it.

"Clever, Tina. Very clever," Santana commented.

"Hair dye remover," Rachel said in disbelief.

"You know, just in case Quinn goes crazy again," Tina said and everyone laughed remembering that one time in senior year that Quinn went to school looking not herself – sporting her newly dyed pink hair and a fake tattoo of Ryan Seacrest.

Nobody dared to ask Quinn what happened to her because Rachel practically dragged her to the bathroom that day and washed the color off her hair, warning her not to do it again. Everyone believed Quinn only did it to get Rachel's attention because that was the same time that Finn was trying to win her back.

"Thank you, Tina and don't you dare give her tips again," Rachel joked as she hugged Tina and the Asian just smiled and went back to her seat.

"Interesting gifts you have there, girl," Mercedes said as she stood beside Rachel. "Here's Sam's gift," she said as she handed her a small box square box.

Rachel chuckled as she raised the blonde boy's gift.

"A set of chapsticks," Santana said as she shook her head in confusion.

Rachel saw a note inside the box and read, "Rachel, here's the gift you gave me in high school. You can use it, you know, when you and Quinn are done making out heavily. You have everything, I can't think of a gift except for this. I want this to remind you of me and thinking of me will remind you that Quinn was once the perfect Christian girl (who didn't want to have sex with anyone) and if she gives everything to you, you know you're lucky. You both are lucky you have each other."

Rachel nodded impressed at Sam's gift, simple yet very meaningful.

"Now, here's my gift," Mercedes said as she handed Rachel a small rectangular box about the same size as a photo frame. "Promise me you won't cry."

"I'll try," Rachel said as she unwrapped the gift and upon seeing it, tears welled instantly in her eyes.

It was indeed a photo frame, with Quinn and Beth's picture, after Quinn gave birth to her back in high school.

"I took that photo while I was inside."

"But that is not allowed," Santana said with a raised eyebrow.

"I know but the doctors cannot stop me because I just can't let the moment pass by."

Rachel's fingers hovered over the image of Quinn smiling warmly at baby Beth. "She's so beautiful," Rachel said as she sighed and smile.

After all these years, Quinn is still the most beautiful girl she knows.

"I have never seen Quinn _that_ happy when we were in high school but when we saw each other again last week, I saw it again. I have never seen her so unguarded than the moment she held Beth in her arms but now, every time she's with you, I see it. You bring out the best in Quinn and blondie brings out the best in you, too. I know, when little Rachels and little Quinns arrive, you will both be happy. When that time comes, you could also take a photo and put it next to this because I know how much Quinn wants to have a family with you, a family she never had and never had the chance to give Beth. Make sure to make me a godmother because remember what I said in high school, I want to meet Rachel Berry's children."

Everyone let out a teary laugh at that.

She gave Mercedes a small smile and hugged her as she whispered, "Thank you, Mercedes."

"Anything for my favorite gay couple," Mercedes as she smilingly turned to Santana and Kurt, "No offense," she added.

Kurt then stood next and smiled at Rachel who was trying to blink away the tears she had in her eyes.

"Getting emotional already, are you?" he asked as he handed Rachel a handkerchief.

"I'm getting married to my high school nemesis, Kurt. I think I have the right to shed little amount of tears in my bridal shower."

Kurt chuckled as he handed Rachel a rectangular box, "Here's Blaine's gift."

Rachel took and opened the said gift and revealed a _gold star _trophy.

"A gold star trophy," Rachel said as she smiled.

Kurt then took a note from the pocket of his jacket and began reading, "Rachel, if there's something I will never forget about you – it's your _gold star _metaphors. You have reached that _gold star _status in your career but here's another challenge you have. My parents always told me that marriage has a way of making you lose yourself along the way. I hope this trophy will always remind you of the star that Rachel Berry is even if the goal has changed. The brand new goal is: to be a gold star _wife _to Quinn Fabray."

"That is so sweet," Rachel said, almost cooing.

Kurt rolled his eyes as he cleared his throat, "I have another gift for you, that's not from me."

Kurt then grabbed another box, about the size of a toaster, and handed it to Rachel.

"That's from my brother, also known as you and Quinn's ex-boyfriend."

Everyone chuckled at that.

Rachel then unwrapped the gift and revealed…

"A toaster," Rachel said as she looked at the said appliance. The diva then saw the note on top of it and read, "Rachel, I know this looks like a traditional bridal shower gift or something but you know, when pregnant Quinn was living at our house, she kind of threw our toaster when she got mad. So yeah, I think this would be useful someday. I think, you'll need more than one. I promise to get you another one for the wedding."

Rachel turned to Santana and Brittany who both nodded.

"She murdered our toaster when you fought last year," Santana said.

"Remember what I told you about displacement?" Brittany asked.

"Oh," Rachel managed upon remembering when Brittany discussed Quinn's other defense mechanism.

_Displacement operates in the mind unconsciously and involves emotions, ideas, or wishes being transferred from their original object to a more acceptable substitute._

"Well, I think Finn got the perfect gift after all," Rachel said as she smiled.

"I think, all these people giving these gifts have turned Quinn into a psychopath," Santana said with a raised eyebrow.

"Finally, my gift," Kurt said in excitement. She then handed Rachel a large rectangular box.

Rachel opened the box and revealed a red satin kimono robe.

Rachel eyes widened in surprise, "Wow!"

"I made that myself," Kurt said as he smiled and pointed at the personalized text on left chest side of the robe: _Quinn Fabray's Wife_

"I love it, Kurt!" Rachel squealed as she stood and hugged Kurt.

"Looks like someone found something to use to seduce Quinn on the night of their honeymoon," Brittany teased and everyone laughed.

Santana was about to stand up for her turn when the man who escorted Rachel earlier knocked got their attention. He slid the door open and immediately turned to Brittany.

"I apologize for interrupting your private party but there's a drunk girl outside who wants to get in but she's not included in the guest list. She's making a scene and she said she won't leave until she's able to talk to Ms. Rachel Berry."

Everyone didn't have a clue of who the _drunken girl _is.

"Does the girl have a name?" Santana asked as she stood, the look on her face: unreadable.

"Her name is Phoebe, Phoebe Bennett."

Santana and Rachel quickly locked eyes as Santana shook her head in disbelief.

"The bitch won't back down," Santana said.

"I got this," Rachel said as she stood.

Santana nodded, "Ten minutes and if you're not back, I'm marching in."

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel nervously made her way out of the café and indeed, a very drunk and broken Phoebe was there with a whiskey bottle at hand.

"There you are," Phoebe said, stepping closer to Rachel and wobbling altogether.

"Phoebe, this is a private event. I don't think my friends invited you," Rachel said as nicely as she can.

"What have you done to Quinn?" Phoebe asked looking straight into her eyes. "You're manipulating her, aren't you?"

"Phoebe, you're not yourself. You're obviously influenced by alcohol. Please, just go home and we can talk about this some other day. I respect your friendship wi –"

"Please, bitch," Phoebe snarled. "Tell me, what have you done to Quinn? She doesn't love you. Nobody likes you."

Rachel swallowed, trying to contain the building anger inside her.

"Quinn and I were about to date and you had to steal her away from me, you slut!"

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise.

Phoebe eyed her from head to toe, "I don't know what she sees in you. You're small, your nose is huge and you're loud. Quinn hates loud people and yes, you're talented but that's all you are."

"And what are you, exactly?" Rachel asked sharply. _There is the Santana Lopez in Rachel Berry._

Berry – 1; Bennett – 0

"Someone who could actually give Quinn the peaceful kind of life she deserves; one that _you _can _never _give."

Berry – 1; Bennett – 1

"I'm sorry to tell you, Phoebe but I'm pretty sure Quinn's not interested in your offer," Rachel said as she raised her hand to show her _sparkling _engagement ring.

Berry – 2; Bennett – 1

There was envy in Phoebe's eyes but she easily replaced it with sheer sarcasm. She chuckled bitterly, "Oh please, I'll give you what, 2 years and the shoe will soon drop and Quinn will realize that you are just a self-centered bitch who only wants something if she can use it to her advantage."

Berry – 2; Bennett – 2

"I'd take the self-centered but I'll leave the _bitch _to you," Rachel said, anger lacing in her tone.

Berry – 3; Bennett – 2

"Don't call me a bitch as if it's a bad thing," Phoebe said as she smiled mischievously. "This bitch can stand up to anyone to protect Quinn, unlike some people I know. Come on, Tony Award winner Rachel Berry, I bet up until now, you still have an escape route just in case the media messes it up once more."

Berry – 3; Bennett – 3

"I don't have an escape route."

"Oh, sure you have!"

"Phoebe, please, let's settle this issue once you're out of alcohol."

And just like that, Phoebe's tears fell rapidly, "What do I have to do for you to just let Quinn go?"

Rachel was taken aback by the sudden switch of emotions. She took a deep breath and said, "Nothing; there's nothing you can do to make me give Quinn up. I love her and I know you love her, too but Quinn has made her choice and you have to respect that."

Despite her tears, Phoebe chuckled bitterly, "Like the way you respected her when she told you to let her go."

"Phoebe, Quinn and I have a deep history. It wasn't that easy to give up just like that."

Phoebe yelled, "That's why you must know where I'm coming from right now!"

Silence filled the space between and only the sound of the vehicles passing by the bridge was heard along with the natural sound of the river behind them. Rachel looked around and some of the customers who were dining inside were already watching them.

"Phoebe, I understand where you are coming from but you have to stop this because Quinn and I are getting married and there's nothing here for you."

Phoebe glared at her as she wiped the tears off her face, "So you're gonna marry her and in a few years let her regret the mistake she did?"

_That's it._

_ That's absolutely it._

"For goodness' sake, Phoebe, move the fuck on!" Rachel yelled. "Don't you get it? Quinn doesn't like you!"

"And that makes you the better girl here?"

"Maybe, it does! So, get over it and find someone that can accept the lame excuse of a person you are!"

Phoebe furiously hurled the bottle of whiskey to the ground and stepped closer to Rachel who didn't back down for one bit.

"You're the one to talk! You – the girl spent her whole college life sleeping with different people because you can't accept the fact that she's gay!"

"And you're the one who's here making a fool of yourself because the girl you love chose me instead! Me, the girl who spent her college life sleeping with different people because she can't accept that she's gay! Face it, Phoebe, you _lost_!"

That, and Phoebe pushed Rachel by the shoulders as Rachel pushed her back immediately.

"Quinn's gonna wake up someday realizing that she chose the wrong person!"

"If that happens, I'm gonna make sure she won't come running back to you!"

_Slap!_

Phoebe Bennett just slapped the hell out of Rachel Berry's face.

Berry – 3; Bennett – 4

_It hurt, really._

Rachel turned her attention back to Phoebe as she held on to the injured side of her face. She didn't know what to feel first, anger or shock?

There was a staring contest going on.

Rachel was pondering between pushing Phoebe to the river and throwing her against the glass door of the café. _Never _in her life did she imagine a _real smackdown _with Phoebe but Phoebe, based on the look that she was giving her, was challenging her.

"Fight back, Berry," Santana, who was already standing by the entrance of the café, said.

_Slap!_

The roles were suddenly reversed now. Rachel Berry just slapped the hell out of Phoebe Bennett's face.

But Phoebe knew how to deal with that kind of girl fight. She growled in frustration – like a psycho – and pushed Rachel so hard that the diva fell butt-first to the ground.

Phoebe was about to jump over Rachel and slap her face over and over but the next thing she knew, someone was pulling her back by the hair and it felt as if her hair was being ripped apart from her scalp.

"You, bitch. What did I tell you about messing with _my _girls?"

_Of course._

_ You can take the girl out of Lima Heights Adjacent but you can never take Lima Heights Adjacent out of the girl._

Santana pulled Phoebe's hair so hard that the girl's head jerked backwards. She dragged her away from a bewildered Rachel Berry and then pushed her so hard that she fell to the ground.

The Latina then towered over her and held her by the chin so their eyes met, "Listen to me, bitch. Stay away from Quinn and Rachel or else," Santana let go of Phoebe's chin and poked her harshly on the chest, "I'm gonna make your death look like an accident."

Pezberry – 1,000,000; Bennett – 4

Santana turned back to Rachel and extended her hand to help Rachel up. The diva took Santana's hand and stood up as they both looked at a shaken up Phoebe who stared at them with tears in her eyes.

"I tried to be nice to you, Phoebe. But you pulled the trigger tonight," Rachel finished as she made her way inside the cafe.

Santana gave Phoebe a sharp look, "I'm serious, Phoebe. Stay away from Quinn and Rachel. I used to throw my best friend against the lockers. I guess you could imagine the damage I could do to you."

That and Santana made her way back inside the cafe.

o-o-o-o-o

Half of the girls spent the next 30 minutes calming Santana down while the other half spent the entire time just telling Rachel that her fiancé will not be mad at her even if Phoebe told Quinn everything.

Nobody knew how to proceed from there because Rachel was already becoming an angsty mess, not to mention her incredibly flushed left cheek.

But thank God for Kurt Hummel because that guy sure knew when to tease Rachel. He engaged Mercedes into a debate about who will have the upper hand in the Berry-Fabray household. Mercedes said it was going to be Rachel and Kurt put her bet on Quinn. When Kurt said that Rachel was so whipped, the mood seemed to have shifted slowly until they came to tease the Pierce-Lopez union.

The debate turned out to be grand scheme to tease how whipped Santana is and how Brittany, ironically, has the upper hand in the relationship. Soon, the whole Phoebe scene got shelved.

Mercedes ordered hard drinks for everyone to consume and an hour later, while everyone was having fun inside the Terrace Room, Rachel found Santana smoking cigars by the empty deck.

It was chilly outside but it was so worth it because again, the lower Manhattan view from across the river is by far the most incredible sight she'd seen aside from, well, Quinn's face.

_What?_

"Thanks for scaring the life out of Phoebe, Santana," Rachel said as she approached the Latina who was leaning on the railing of the deck.

"It would totally piss Quinn off if I let the bitch hurt you like that. Aside from Brittany, there's only person that scares the shit out of me – a pissed of Quinn Fabray."

"That's kinda scary," Rachel agreed.

"The wedding is months away, why did the shower have to be this early?"

Rachel shrugged, "Quinn's the one that insisted for these things to happen this early. She didn't want the parties to get in the way of the wedding planning process."

Santana chuckled, "Just like how we started practicing our routine seven months earlier than the competition."

Rachel nodded.

"What are your plans, Rachel? Before the wedding, I mean."

"I'm planning to buy a new apartment on the Upper East Side. I'll be home shopping before the wedding so yeah, we'd probably be having a new place by the time we get back from the honeymoon."

"Where are you going anyway?"

"My dads and Judy gave us a Venice getaway treat, so yeah, I think we'll go to Venice."

"Quinn would love that."

"I know."

A mischievous smile spread across Santana's face as she made her way to the nearest table and grabbed two neatly wrapped gifts.

She handed a rectangular box to Rachel.

"That's Puck's gift and he didn't leave a note but I'm pretty sure what that is."

Rachel smiled as she opened the gifts and upon seeing Puck's gift, she immediately flushed in embarrassment.

_Oh my God._

Puck gave her a DVD of _Steamy Lesbian Sex Games_.

Santana immediately roared with laughter, "Oh my God!"

"I am going to call Noah and tell him how inappropriate this is!"

Santana managed to finish laughing and gave Rachel a teasing look, "Is it?"

"Santana! I do not wish to play _Steamy Lesbian Sex_ Games with Quinn!"

Santana laughed one more time, "Don't you?"

"Stop it!"

"Come on, Berry. Admit it, you wish you could experiment on that sometimes."

Rachel hesitated for a moment, "Well, I – "

Santana shushed Rachel, "No need to explain, Berry, you perv."

Rachel flushed one more time, "I am not."

Santana laughed as she handed Rachel another gift, about the same size as Puck's DVD.

"Please, don't tell me this is a sequel of Puck's gift," Rachel joked as she rolled her eyes.

"Come on, I don't need to give you a DVD if ever you need those kind of advices. I am Santana Lopez, me and Britts have been doing each other since sophomore year."

Rachel's mouth hung open in surprise, "Please, let's stop all the bedroom jokes."

Santana just shrugged as she smiled while Rachel opened Santana's gift and found two books. It instantly made her smile.

"The Little Book of Baby Names," Rachel read the title of the first book. It was small and pink and cute. "Santana, this is sweet."

Santana shrugged, "I know it's too early for a baby-related gift but I know what you're thinking, Berry."

Rachel sighed contentedly as she stared the incredible view in front of her, "I want to have a baby girl."

"A blonde one with Quinn's eyes, I know," Santana said.

Rachel nodded, "I don't think I'll get over how beautiful Quinn is."

Santana rolled her eyes, "I gave that book so you can find names without Broadway references."

Rachel laughed, "I'll try."

"I don't want a godchild whose name is Elphaba. I swear to God, I'll call her Elf because her other mom's a dwarf."

Rachel looked at the other book and laughed as she read, "Six Simple Steps to Deal With Your Hormonal Wife."

"I've accepted it, Berry, Quinn's going to carry the first Faberry baby."

"We can talk about it."

"And you'll win."

Rachel just shrugged.

"Thank you, Santana. I was kind of expecting some suggestive gifts from you but it looks like someone has grown up."

Santana rolled her eyes for the hundredth time that night, "Please. The last time Quinn talked about having sex with you, I almost threw up on the streets."

"Still, I really appreciate this."

"Berry, do me a favor."

"Anything."

Santana met Rachel's eyes in all seriousness, "Whatever you do that makes Quinn happy, do it every damn day."

Tears instantly welled in Rachel's eyes as she nodded.

"This is weird. I have always wondered why Brittany always called Quinn our baby. But right now, it feels like it, like I'm setting her free. But for once in the course of my friendship with Quinn, I found someone whom I can entrust her with other than myself and out of all the seven billion people in the world, it is Rachel freaking Berry."

Rachel smiled, "I'm one in seven billion."

"Very funny."

"Don't worry, Mommy Santana. I'll take care of her."

Santana had silent tears, "After your wedding, Quinn and I will finally live separately after six long years. I can't believe it."

"She's going to be a cab ride away."

"Still."

"You will always be welcome in our house."

Santana chuckled, "And what? Risk the chance of walking in on you two making out? No, thank you."

Rachel laughed, "You are most welcome during Quinn's hormonal days. I'm going to find that book titled Six Simple Steps to Deal with Your Hormonal Best Friend."

Santana laughed, "Perhaps, I could write that book."

Rachel and Santana shared another round of laughter when Brittany came in hugging Santana from behind. "Nobody wants to interrupt you two. They all think San's giving you death threats," the bubbly blonde told Rachel.

The bride-to-be just smiled and shrugged, "Well, she didn't give me threats but I know they're in there somewhere."

Brittany giggled as she handed Rachel her gift. It was about the size of a shoebox.

Rachel then ripped the wrapper open and its content immediately confused her.

_A pink liquor flask._

She gave Brittany a confused expression.

"There's more inside," said the blonde.

Rachel dug even more and found copies of all of Taylor Swift's albums. She and Santana immediately laughed at that.

"I think, I get the Taylor Swift part but the flask?" Rachel asked looking at Brittany.

"Quinn came back into your life and saved you from being such a drunkard bitch," Brittany said nonchalantly. "Because of her you stopped drinking and changed for the better but every once in a while you tend to yield back to _that _Rachel and Taylor Swift is your drunk option," she discussed.

"I think we didn't cover enough Taylor Swift songs in Glee –"

"Please, bitch," Santana said as she rolled her eyes.

"I gave you the flask because after you married Quinn, you're gonna have to help yourself in trying not to be your drunkard self. The flask is just there and you could easily use that without Quinn finding out but you have to remind yourself that Quinn's Rachel is not the drunkard Rachel."

Both Santana and Rachel are now listening intently to Brittany's Nicholas Sparks ramble.

"It's like a temptation that's always there, just like all the problems in your life that will make you want to give up on yourself or your marriage. It's a part of a marriage, believe me. Like how many times Santana wanted to get a brand new cat –"

"Who would believe that Lord T is still alive after all these years? I am _this _close to believing that Lord T is a member of the Illuminati."

Rachel laughed.

Brittany nudged Santana as she looked at Rachel, "The flask is like a symbol of all the horrible mistakes you both did in the past. I gave it to you because I want you to be reminded of it every day not to have it drown you but to let you help yourself get over it."

Rachel just looked at Brittany, amazed at how insightful she could be.

"The past will never be forgotten but we can get used to it until it pains us no more."

Rachel smiled warmly at Brittany because for the hundredth time during the course of their friendship, the blonde was right. If there's anything that scared her about her relationship with Quinn, it wasn't the future but the _past_.

"The Taylor Swift CDs are a reminder of the night you sang _Back to December_," she said and then giggled at the memory. "No matter how funny that was, you can't sing _Back to December _on all the mistakes you've done before – unless someone finally invents a time machine. Every time you listen to _Back to December_, it's gonna make you want _not _to commit these mistakes over again."

"Why do you have to be this amazing, Brit?"

"I think people have underestimated me," she said laughingly.

There was a brief moment of silence. For some reason, the three of them stared at the view in front of them.

Then, Rachel was the one that broke the silence.

"Do you think we'll last for years?"

Santana just looked at her and Brittany smiled.

Rachel continued, "Look at the two of you. You're relationship has had quite of a history but I think I'm one of the people who _always _knew that you're eventually gonna work out together."

Santana shrugged and displayed a smug on her face.

"Quinn and I..." Rachel sighed and the continued, "We're kind of dysfunctional most of the time and seriously, who would have thought? I am with her and I still have to pinch myself sometimes because it could be a dream or something."

"Santana and I worked out because, I don't know, maybe it's because we forgive each other every day," Brittany said as she kissed Santana on the cheek. "It may seem not like it but I hate so many things about Santana especially when she's stressed about her studies but I forgive her everyday and so does she when I can't prepare a meal for dinner when she's so tired."

Rachel watched and adored them.

"There are things she does I don't like and there are things she like that I can't do but when it goes down to it, we don't just accept each other's weaknesses, we forgive them, every damn day."

"It's gonna be different when you're married, though. It's like you're giving Quinn a loaded gun and let her put it in your head but all the while trusting her not to pull the trigger," Santana said as she shrugged. "But you'll work out; you _have _to because you are getting married. You don't get married just because you want to. You get married because you're ready to make it work."

Brittany shrugged, "Besides, you and Quinn work like scissors. You always go on different directions but still, you manage to cut whoever comes in between."

Rachel laughed as she shook her head, "You're a genius, Brit."

"I know."

"By the way, this shower is amazing. Thank you," Rachel said.

Brittany pulled away from Santana (yes, she has been tangled with her all the time they were talking). She settled herself between Rachel and Santana and leaned on the railing of the deck. She then pointed at the view in front of them, "See that?"

Rachel nodded.

"Those _were _your dreams when we're in high school. It's real now and it's only a bridge away but you're here, away from those glimmering lights. You're here in this simple bridal shower of yours and you're contented."

Santana stared lovingly at her wife because out of all the things she heard all night, where Brittany was leading the conversation could probably be the sweetest one.

Brittany put an arm around Rachel's shoulders, "You're contented because you have amazing friends and you know that come spring next year, you'll be married to the woman you love all your life. From that point forward, you'll feel that you won't need those lights anymore because the only one that could complete your life is Quinn."

Rachel immediately had tears in her eyes.

_Of course, even the restaurant was a metaphor._

"Stare at those lights because those _were _your dreams; past tense. Right now, you're here and I know you can't wait for spring to come around because you know that an even bigger dream awaits and that is to spend the next few years of your life with Quinn. And I know you haven't even thought of the huge productions you're going to be part of. If you could, you'd jump to spring right away because really, that's where your dream is."

Rachel chuckled as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

_It's true._

_ She can't wait._

_ And Quinn is her dream._

"Quinn is the life you've always wanted for yourself because no matter how many years have passed, there's something about Rachel Berry that never changes: all she wants is to love and be loved in return."

Rachel leaned her head on Brittany's shoulder.

_After all these years, Brittany is still right._

"Can I sing at your wedding?" Brittany joked.

Santana and Rachel laughed at that.

Rachel stared back at the view in front of her and although her vision is quite blurry because of the tears, she knew she had never seen so clearly.

_Where was a time machine when you needed it? Fast forward please.  
><em>

Rachel Berry sure was the happiest she'd been. In a few months, she's gonna make her ultimate dream come true.

Quinn's gonna be her wife.

And right now, it's all that matters.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thoughts?<strong>_

_**I will always love Brittany's insights. **_

_**Well, the countdown starts here I guess.**_

_**Adios now, I have a wedding to plan.**_


	57. Chapter 57: One Last Stretch

**A/N: Now, I'm back. So here's another chapter and I know you're going to have a love-hate relationship with this one but there are so many things that had been unaddressed in fic.  
><strong>

**Just like the chapter title, **_**one last stretch**_** before we hibernate for good.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>It had been a while since she and Rachel had lunch together.<p>

She has a new show to promote across America and Rachel was on the final two weeks of _Chicago_. Her fiancé was on the crucial part of the production because they are planning for a grand final show. Rachel was eager to close the show with a bang because they both know that since she came out, she needed another milestone to re-secure her star status and _Chicago_ has done that for her. By the looks of it, another Tony is surely on the line.

Needless to say, she was excited for their lunch that day and was so eager to hear about last night's shower.

As usual, Rachel was the first to arrive inside their favorite vegan restaurant. It was closer to WPIX but somehow, her fiancé always managed to beat her every single time. She smiled as she approached the table that Rachel had already taken for them.

Rachel's back was facing her and of course, she felt a little spontaneous. It seems that Rachel was too occupied with whatever she has on her phone and so, Quinn took it upon her to surprise Rachel by covering Rachel's eyes with both of her hands.

She was expecting Rachel to giggle but instead, she flinched. And Rachel Berry never flinched.

She immediately removed her hand from Rachel's eyes and sat across her.

"Rach? Are you okay?"

"Yes," Rachel answered. After all these years, she was still a terrible liar – to Quinn at least.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked again.

Rachel wasn't looking at her and continued to focus on her phone, pretending to be busy with something. Of course, Quinn knew something was going on because Rachel never got busy with her phone in front of her – except for that one time that Rachel was this close to finishing Diner Dash on her iPhone.

"I'm fine Quinn. There's this new app and I really like it. Place our orders, I'll get my usual."

Quinn studied her fiancé but couldn't make up a conclusion. It seems as if Rachel forgot to comb her hair because the entire thing was covering almost half of her face.

"And I don't get a kiss?"

She knew it was Rachel's weakness. The brunette has never turned Quinn's kiss requests down. She saw Rachel hesitate for a moment; she was sure Rachel was having an internal debate.

Finally, Rachel settled her phone on the table and looks up at Quinn.

Quinn immediately noticed the red mark on Rachel's left cheek. It wasn't anything serious but still, it was a disturbing bruise on her fiancé's face.

She immediately moved her chair next to Rachel's and tucked a few strands of hair behind the diva's ear. "What happened to your face?" she asked, with so much concern.

"I'm fine Quinn. It's an accident from the rehearsals. It's nothing serious," Rachel lied as she gave Quinn's hand a reassuring squeeze. Rachel nervously looked around for a nearby waiter but she can't see anyone available, "Where's a waiter when you need one?"

"Rachel," Quinn called firmly.

Rachel knew that tone very well. It was the tone Quinn used when she demanded for something and it is definitely Quinn's tone when she's starting to get upset.

"Quinn, it's true. I'm fine. I get bruises all the time," Rachel covered up, looking at Quinn and wishing that her fiancé would buy it this time.

"No, you don't. Only when we do _it _and I don't even scratch you in the face like that," Quinn said, eying Rachel curiously; certain that the diva wasn't telling the truth.

"I'm fine," Rachel said in an annoyed fashion.

"Forget lunch," Quinn said straight and cold as she stood and dragged her chair back across Rachel.

"Quinn, please," Rachel begged.

"I came here hoping to have a pleasant talk with you but you won't even tell me the truth about that."

"It's nothing serious."

"Then, what really happened?"

"Please, take your seat, baby," Rachel said as she looked at Quinn who already had the green-eyed monster on.

Quinn sighed heavily as she sat back on her seat and waited for Rachel to tell her the truth.

Rachel sighed nervously, "While we were having a rather enjoyable party last night, someone unexpectedly crashed the party and well, attacked me; but of course, I attacked her, too and so did Santana."

Rachel practically rushed to tell the story because there was a high risk that once Quinn figured out who her attacker was, she'd dash out of the restaurant and bury Phoebe under the sewers. She turned to Quinn and was instantly terrified at the expression that her fiancé mirrored – there was mixture of shock and disbelief but it more went to the angry side of Quinn. Her face was nearly blank but her eyes gave it away.

"Who is it?" Quinn asked.

"You have to promise me that you'll let this one pass."

"Who is it?" Quinn asked again and when Quinn repetitively asked things, it always scared her.

Rachel took a deep breath and answered, "Phoebe."

If it was possible, the blood seemed to have been drained out from Quinn's face because of how pale she was in an instant. Rachel looked at Quinn's hand that was on top of the table and saw only her clenched fists. She knew that Quinn was doing her best to control her anger because her knuckles were already turning white.

"Quinn, she was drunk and she wasn't herself."

There was no response from Quinn and that was where Rachel felt the most scared. This was three times more than HBIC Quinn and she knew how bad that was.

"I'll take you to dinner later, Rach. I have to talk to Phoebe," Quinn said as she took her phone out and started dialing.

Rachel quickly reached out and stopped her, "Quinn, you don't -"

"Stay out of this," Quinn said as she stood and kissed the top of Rachel's head. "I'll pick you up at the theater later."

Rachel wanted to stop her but she knew there was no force that could possibly stop Quinn at that moment.

"Don't do something stupid," Rachel nervously reminded her fiancé as she stood and kissed her chastely.

Quinn only nodded.

"Baby, look at me," Rachel called as Quinn looked at her.

Rachel met her eyes and it felt as if she was looking right into the eyes of the Quinn that ordered slushies on her in high school. "Do not do anything you'll regret, Quinn Fabray."

Quinn, again, just nodded.

"I don't want our kids to visit prison just to see their mom," Rachel tried to lighten up the mood.

But Quinn just nodded and then walked out of the restaurant.

She sighed heavily as she sat back down.

"Where's a waiter when you need one?"

o-o-o-o-o

After a quick phone call to Santana, asking her what really happened last night, Quinn found herself in front Phoebe's loft.

She remembered Santana's words and warnings on how she didn't need to kill Phoebe for that. It's not that she could kill a person but out of all people, Santana is the only person that knew her best when it came to that.

She took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

She felt sad that she had to ditch Rachel like that but this can't wait.

If there's one person that could end things with Phoebe for good, it's her.

Another one deep breath and she hit the doorbell. There was no response at first, so she hit the doorbell for the second time.

Again, nothing.

Quinn was losing her barely-there patience. She hit it for the third time… then, the fourth time and quick came the fifth time.

"Damn it, Phoebe, open the door!" she yelled as she hit the doorbell for the sixth time.

Just like that, the door swung open.

"Jesus, who is it?" Phoebe cried as she opene the door and was instantly shocked when she saw Quinn.

"This has to stop," Quinn said as she entered Phoebe's house and stopped in the middle of the living room.

Confused, Phoebe closed the door behind her and followed Quinn – who was already pacing frantically in the middle of her living room.

"You have to let me explain," Phoebe started. As much of a natural bitch she was, she didn't want to upset Quinn.

"I don't think you have any reason to slap Rachel like that."

"Quinn, she slapped me back!"

Quinn rolled her eyes as she sighed heavily, "What the hell is your problem, Phoebe?"

"You!" Phoebe yelled. "You're my problem, Quinn! I waited for you to come to your senses! I have been waiting for you since freshman year, since you and I became close when you were tutoring me."

"You knew that I wasn't over someone else, Phoebe."

"But you made me feel like I could help you get over it!" Phoebe said helplessly. "You led me on," Phoebe _accused _her.

Quinn's eyes grew wide as she looked at Phoebe. She then laughed bitterly, "You're delusional. Phoebe, we were friends."

"But what about last year, after you _ended _up everything with Rachel? We dated, Quinn!"

"And that gave you a reason to think that I will choose you over Rachel? And apparently a reason to crash Rachel's bridal bash?"

"She stole you from me!"

"I was never yours!"

"Quinn, I'm willing to do anything for you."

"Rachel and I are getting married. You have to stop."

"Quinn –"

"No, Phoebe," Quinn said as she looked straight into Phoebe's eyes. "You have to stop," she repeated.

To be honest, she pitied the girl in front of her. She knew how it was to be in love with someone who didn't return her feelings – except hers was a different story.

"I can't," Phoebe said as her voice trembled.

"Phoebe, someone's out there who will be willing to accept the kind of love you can give but that person is not me," Quinn said.

Surprisingly, her weird friendship with Phoebe won her out. She knew that tearing Phoebe down wouldn't help ease the situation.

"I want it to be you."

"I can't. I am Rachel's."

Phoebe smiled bitterly as she wiped her tears off her cheeks.

"You'll find someone, Phoebe. You're a bit crazy sometimes but I think that person will be lucky to have you."

Phoebe didn't say anything.

"And please, Phoebe, leave Rachel alone."

"Don't tell me I didn't warn you when she chooses her career over you someday."

"I appreciate your concern but I can take care of myself or Santana can do that, if Rachel ever leaves me. I don't need you crashing on Rachel's parties and hitting her like that."

"I'm sorry."

"Just stay away from me and Rachel from now on," Quinn said coldly.

Phoebe just stared at her.

"If I figured out that you're bugging Rachel again," Quinn said as she turned to the door, "don't tell me I didn't warn you."

That and Quinn was out the door.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn was on her way back to her office when her phone buzzed.

_**Did you bury the bitch?**_

It was Santana, of course.

They've become used to a habit on checking on each other once the other had a battle (they mean bitch) to overcome.

Somehow, she felt proud about the way she handled the situation with Phoebe. She had all the reasons to go all crazy Quinn on her but the better lobe of her brain told her to handle things without doing anything she'd regret later on.

At situations like this, she was sure she was never sinking back to her same old person she was.

_**I think she's gone for good.**_

_**Did you Sophomore Quinn her?**_

_**Yes, kind of.**_

_**I missed it! Damn!**_

Quinn smiled. She's gonna miss Santana after she got married.

_**Thanks for standing up for her last night.**_

_**Where's the sap coming from?**_

Quinn, again, just smiled and didn't reply anymore. Santana always hated sentimentals.

_**You know I won't let another bitch break Berry's nose. I'd do it myself. We're cool.**_

o-o-o-o-o

When Quinn started her day, she didn't get the memo that it was going to be such a long day of an emotional rollercoaster.

She immediately called Rachel after she got off of WPIX to ask her to dinner but the diva said she can't get an early wrap up. Their dinner was moved to the next day and Quinn had no choice but to go home and watch whatever movie was on HBO and have dinner with Santana and Brittany.

But she knew, the moment she saw Santana waiting for her outside of their door, that some sort of doom was waiting for her inside the apartment they shared.

"Why are you here?" Quinn asked as she approached a pacing, anxious-looking Santana.

Santana looked at her and stopped pacing, "Q, you have to promise me that you will not go all HBIC on me after this."

Quinn just looked at her in a confused manner.

"Brace yourself, there's an interrogation waiting to happen inside."

"What?" Quinn asked as she faced the door, opened it and stepped inside. Santana followed quickly after her.

There was nothing that seemed unusual about the house upon entering. It still looked normal. Everything seemed normal until Quinn heard a familiar laugh that echoed along with Brittany's laugh in the kitchen. She quickly went to the kitchen and evidently, everything was definitely _not _normal.

_Judy._

"Mom?" Quinn called, surprised of her mother's presence. "You're supposed to come here on Christmas."

"Where's my welcome hug and kiss?" Judy asked cheerfully as she stepped closer to Quinn and hugged her. Quinn reluctantly returned the hug, still surprised of her mother's arrival.

"What are you doing here, Mom and are you staying?"

"I just want to see my daughter," Judy said and Quinn knew it wasn't the whole truth.

"Mom," Quinn whined.

Judy rolled her eyes, "Fine. I brought some friends and we thought we needed some kind of a family chat."

Quinn's eyes went wide. She immediately turned to Brittany – who was standing by the kitchen island – and the blonde gave her an innocent shrug. Quinn then turned to Santana – who was behind her – and saw her best friend with guilt drawing all over her features.

Her mom brought some friends and her mom only had _two _friends – two friends that were close enough for her to bring them all the way to New York from Ohio.

Quinn then quickly ran to the living room and indeed, there were Judy's two _closest _friends.

"There you are, Quinn. We've been waiting for you," Leroy Berry greeted her as he stood from his place on the couch beside his husband, Hiram.

"Dad? Daddy?" Quinn asked in confusion. Somehow, she knew the family chat that Judy was talking about wasn't going to be little.

"You're all supposed to come here for Christmas or Hanukkah, whatever. What's with the sudden change of plan?" Quinn asked as she walked over to Leroy and gave him a quick hug and then gave Hiram a quick hug, too.

"As I've told you, Quinnie, I feel that we need a little _family _chat," Judy said as she stepped out of the kitchen with a huge bowl of an awesome-smelling dish and set it on the dining table.

Quinn turned to Santana and her best friend just shrugged.

"Does Rachel know you're here?" Quinn asked.

Hiram smiled at her, "No, honey. We'll surprise her later."

"How about dinner?" Leroy asked as he smiled for one last time and then proceeded to the kitchen to help Judy prepare for dinner.

Quinn didn't know what the talk was all about but she didn't have a good feeling about it.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn knew that their Irish chicken and dumplings dinner was just her mother's way to prepare her for the worst. Judy knew that since converting to vegan (with the occasional exception of bacon), it was going to be her first taste of meat in a long time. Her mom's Irish chicken recipe had been Quinn's childhood favorite and it was the reason why Santana and Brittany hung around every weekend at their house.

For once, Quinn had wished for Rachel's surprise appearances at dinners because it might save her this time.

Dinner had been wonderful to say the least because Judy, Leroy and Hiram found a way to not mention the upcoming talk. While Brittany enjoyed the Irish chicken, Quinn exchanged warning glances with Santana; she was sure that her best friend had known about this – if she wasn't the mastermind.

Quinn appreciated her mom's updates about Beth and how excited she was that she's going to be flower girl, she was kind of old for the job but it was going to be her first flower girl gig.

But no matter how much she wanted for time to slow down, _the talk _had to happen. No Irish chicken recipe could prevent the trio of Leroy, Hiram and Judy from sitting Quinn down for a _family chat._

"So, I heard the wedding planning is going smoothly," Leroy said as he looked at Quinn, sipping from his glass of red wine that Judy brought all the way from their collection of decade-old wines from Lima.

Judy had planned this.

Quinn was sitting on the recliner, while her mother and Leroy sat on the loveseat adjacent to her and Hiram on the other sofa across her. Brittany was solving a crossword puzzle by the kitchen bar as Santana sat beside her wife, watching the _family chat_ unfold.

"It is," Quinn answered nervously. She never felt this scrutinized under the Berry men's gazes. "Brittany and Carla are doing well."

"I heard you're already nagging them about it, like every single day," Hiram said.

"That's not true," Quinn protested.

"I beg to differ," Santana interrupted. "We've been Quinn-bombed for at least four times this week and mind you, we barely see each other," she added with a vengeful smirk towards Quinn.

Quinn only glared at her. She didn't really have time to question Santana because she was too nervous thinking about the whole _family chat_.

"I hope you don't find this disrespectful but what is _really _going on?" Quinn asked Judy. "I don't think you came here all the way from Lima just to hear about my occasional nagging about _my _wedding."

"Quinnie," Judy said as she shifted on her seat and sipped from her glass of wine. It was a classic Judy Fabray action when she was about to drop a bomb on someone. "We're just a little worried."

"About what?"

"You," Judy answered as she turned to Santana and gave her a quick smile. "Santana called two days ago saying how much you're slowly turning to, Santana's words, 'Sophomore Quinn'."

"What?" Quinn asked in sheer annoyance as she turned to Santana.

Santana only shrugged, as she stared wide-eyed at Quinn who she knew was already planning on killing her. "Quinn, believe me. That's not the issue," Santana said as she turned to Brittany and tried to help her figure out a four-letter word for 'winter forecast'.

"Mom, it's my wedding. I think I have the right to nag anyone. I don't get married to my high school nemesis every day and it's not like I nag them all the time."

"You don't nag, Q. You practically come home and whine about it, all night. You actually called me 'bitch' once and we haven't used the B-word to call out on each other for years."

"So, you called my mom and told her about it? S, this is so mature, I applaud."

"Bite me."

Quinn only rolled her eyes and turned back to Judy who was just looking at her.

"Mom, tell me what's this about now."

Leroy cleared his throat and started speaking, "Quinn, we just want to know if this marriage is not, you know, rushed."

_What?_

It stung a bit.

It actually hurt to know that the parents of your fiancé didn't trust you 100%. She never thought that their parents will ever be a problem. What's worse is that she knew that this wasn't about the _two _of them because if it were, they would call Rachel, too and talk to _both _of them about it.

"Please don't think we don't trust you," Hiram said. "We just wanted to make sure that you have seriously thought about the life changes that this marriage will bring to you and Rachel."

"We've been together for a year and I thought you admired my decision of not moving in with her because I wanted to do this relationship the right way," she snapped. She couldn't help it.

Every now and then, her Sophomore Quinn shows, especially when people doubt her. She's a changed person but she couldn't help it when her old, manipulative and scheming self comes out to play.

She snapped more than once that week because she wanted the details of her wedding to be perfect. She must admit that Carla and Brittany were doing a fair job on the _blueprint _of her spring wedding (which was in a few months) but with all the stress she was having at work, she couldn't decide what to think of first.

Rachel was better at pressure. Quinn was good at organizing stuff but when it was her own, she had the tendency to judge and mistrust people. She couldn't call Rachel to it because the brunette had been busy with the _Chicago _production. There was another Tony at stake and she wanted that for her.

Quinn knew that after the production closed, Rachel will take it upon herself to turn into the Rachel Berry version of Bridezilla.

The blonde didn't know where her stress was coming from but she knew it wasn't going away soon.

"We do and we'll always admire you for that and don't get us wrong, we support this marriage all the way," Leroy said calmly. He knew that Quinn was already raging inside. "Believe it or not, Hiram and I have already cleared up the guest bedroom to turn it into a nursery."

Santana chuckled. Of course, people were excited about the _Fababies_.

"Shut up, Santana," Quinn growled.

"I wasn't saying anything," Santana said as she raised her hand in act of _surrendering_.

"What's a four-letter word for spasm?" Brittany asked no one in particular.

_God! Crossword puzzles had always been her thing._

"Tics, Brit," Quinn answered, slightly distracting her from the conversation.

"Correct!" Brittany said as she noted it down.

"Going back," Hiram said smilingly. "We understand that you are both excited for this."

Leroy nodded, "It's always nice to have something to look forward to and sometimes when we're caught in the moment, we tend to make decisions that we aren't really ready for."

It was like scripted because Judy nodded and then said, "It's nice to plan for a life together but look at where it has gotten some of us."

She was talking about herself, obviously. The Lopezes and the Berry's were doing quite okay.

"Mom, Rachel and I are ready," Quinn said as she sighed. "I know it's been just a year but we already went through so much. You're all aware of that. I don't understand where all this interrogation is coming from."

It was already starting to frustrate her.

"Quinn…"

"Mom, you don't understand. I love Rachel and I want to marry her."

There was the silence Quinn knew was tentative. Leroy and Hiram were smiling, touched at what they heard and Judy was in deep thought. Quinn knew that it was more than about her certainty. There was more to this _family chat _than it appeared at that moment.

"Quinn, we heard about the bulimia last year," Judy started.

As easy as that, tension surrounded the room.

Brittany felt it, too, so she tried to ease it, "What's a three-letter word for the Dove's murmur?"

_Oh God! She wanted to concentrate on the issue at hand but crossword puzzles!_

She thought about it for a while and then sighed, "Coo."

"Wow, Q. Some brain you got there," Santana commented.

Quinn turned to her mom again and said, "Mom, I haven't had bulimia for a while and where exactly are you taking this conversation?"

Frankly, she had a feeling but she didn't want to believe it.

Leroy adjusted on his seat and met Quinn's eyes. "Quinn," he started, "we understand how much you and Rachel want to get married but we believe that it's gonna take more than just an extensive wedding preparation to make this _marriage _work."

Quinn just looked at him.

"You and Rachel have issues," Hiram said as he looked at Quinn, too.

Quinn couldn't believe that she was hearing _the talk _now. She smirked in confusion, "Dad, Daddy, it's been a year that Rachel and I have been together, I don't understand why I am hearing your disapproval now."

"Honey," Leroy said as he took a deep breath. "We are not disapproving."

"I don't understand –"

"You need help," Judy cut her out.

And man, did it hurt.

Tension easily embraced the room the moment Judy blurted it out. All this time, they were all trying to say it nicely, as if trying to avoid saying it in a way that would hurt her; as if it was possible.

Judy looked at her and her mom had tears in her eyes; probably the same kind of tears that was brimming on her own.

She swallowed because how do you really _protest _to your mother who just practically said that you're mentally unstable?

Quinn clenched her fists.

She didn't think anything was wrong with her but it seemed that everyone around her thought otherwise.

Her teary vision found Santana's eyes and her best friend looked away immediately.

"Are you behind this?" she asked; no, she accused. Her voice was shaking because really, she was _this _close to breaking down.

Brittany looked up from her crossword puzzle and looked at Quinn and Santana.

"Q, I –"

Quinn laughed bitterly, cutting Santana's explanation, "Of course!"

The blonde stood furiously as tears finally fell from her eyes. "I can't believe you, Santana! After all this time?"

Quinn hated being betrayed and she hated it more because Santana had been a good friend.

Santana chose to contain her anger. She was guilty, yes, but she wasn't sorry for calling Judy and convincing her to talk Quinn to it. If there was anything that people didn't know much about Santana – she _always _knows what she's doing.

"Quinnie, you have to calm down," Judy said as she stood and tried to calm Quinn down.

Quinn turned to her mother and yelled, "Calm down?" She then wiped the tears off her cheeks but her tears just kept falling, "You're telling me to calm down after you've all cornered me here, off-guarded, telling me that something is wrong with me! Mom, after all this time, I thought you trusted me!"

"I do trust you, Quinnie, but –"

"And you had to do it in front of my fiancé's parents?"

That was the part that broke her heart.

Hiram stood up as well, "Quinn, we're not –"

"Judging me?" Quinn cut him off. She laughed bitterly, "You're telling me you're not judging me, when you all came here from Lima just to tell me that _I _need help. Yeah, I don't see judgment in that."

"Marriage is a huge step in someone's life, Quinnie," Judy tried again.

"So, I have to get some help because I wouldn't be a proper wife or a responsible parent if I wouldn't address my past problems?"

"We just fear that it would come back from time to time and that is not going to be healthy for you and Rachel's marriage."

For the nth time that night, Quinn laughed bitterly, "So, say it, Mom. Something is wrong with me."

"Quinn –"

"It would have been okay if you came here and talked to me about it personally, just the two of us but no! You had to drag Rachel's fathers here and announce, in front of their face that their daughter's fiancé is dysfunctional! Do you know how humiliating this is for me?"

Silence.

It hurt, big time.

It hurt not just because she got humiliated in front of Rachel's parents but because it only showed that she will never bethe _right one_ for Rachel, no matter how much she tried.

It's not like she wanted to be bulimic and all. If it was her choice, she wouldn't choose to be miserable but she was hurt and now, not even her best friend – who was there all those times – understood where she was coming from.

Santana sighed audibly as she stood and tried to reach out to Quinn, "Quinn –"

"Don't touch me!" Quinn yelled as she yanked herself away from Santana's reach. "I thought you were my friend."

"I am! That's why I did this!"

"No," Quinn said under breath as her tears fell. She met Santana's eyes and then said, "I thought you believed in me."

It was how Quinn's voice broke mid-sentence that triggered Santana's tears.

She was wrong. That slap scene at the camp on the night of the cliff dive wasn't the scene that was going to change her and Quinn's friendship – this was it.

Quinn turned to her mother as she sobbed, "If it makes you happy, sure. I'll get _help_. I'll go to a therapist I barely know and talk about my teenage pregnancy, how I got kicked out, how I realized I was gay after all this time, how my _first love _broke my heart, how I had to throw up for two years straight. Yes, sure. I'd do that."

"Quinn, you don't understand," Leroy said as he reached out but Quinn stepped away from him.

Quinn ducked her head in hurt and embarrassment as she scratched an invisible itch on top of her head. "You're right. I don't understand."

"We had to talk to you –"

"Save it," she interrupted Hiram. "I'll do it if that's the only way I'd be enough for you to be your daughter's wife."

"Quinn –"

"But just for the record," she paused as she sniffed and looked up, "I was sure I could take care of Rachel with or without _that _help."

Santana huffed as she wiped the tears off her face, "Quinn, would you please listen to me?"

Quinn turned to Santana and looked at her in the way Santana hadn't seen for the longest while. It was cold and distant, as if her best friend was possessed by some old memory that was HBIC Quinn Fabray. "Out of all the people in this room Santana, I thought you were the one would understand."

That and she walked towards her room and slammed the door shut.

She hadn't doubted herself so much before than she did on that night as she lay on her bed.

She was okay.

She remembered how she handled Phoebe earlier. She was getting better. She was getting okay.

She had been okay since she got Rachel back in her life but after that night, it became so hard to believe; like it had been a lie all this time.

Why did it have to happen now?

Rachel called her multiple times but she didn't pick up. She only sent her a text saying she was tired and stuff. She knew Rachel already knew but she couldn't bring herself to even talk to her fiancé about it because that would crush her barely-there pride.

After all this time, she was still on that same ground she thought she was able to run away from.

She wasn't the _right one _for Rachel.

She never will be.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Calm down.<strong>_

_**Everything will make sense in the next chapter.  
><strong>_


	58. Chapter 58: All or Nothing

**A/N: This is one of the last few times I will be saying this… THANK YOU. To all those who have been reading this fic from the very start, those who didn't give up when things got a lot to angsty, seriously THANK YOU.**

**Here's another chapter, a shorter one; just patching things up because planning a wedding with 250 guests isn't easy even if this is just a fictional wedding. HAHAHA.**

* * *

><p>Two days later, Quinn found herself inside the waiting room of Christina Bailey, MSW, LCSW, CASAC, BCD. She didn't know what the abbreviations stood for but she knew, upon research that she is one of NYC's most trusted therapists.<p>

The _trusted_ didn't apply to her because well, she doesn't really trust anyone.

She was still mad.

In fact, she spent the last two days avoiding her mother – who was staying until the wedding – and Santana – who was trying her best to… avoid her, too. Santana was giving her space but her mom just wouldn't back out.

It was Judy's most annoying trait as a mother… she just wouldn't back out when it came to controlling Quinn's life. Sure, she's changed from being the perfect Christian mom but she still tended to be controlling at times.

Some people never change.

Maybe, the reason why Quinn was inside that fancy-looking office was because some people just wouldn't change. It included her, obviously.

She hadn't seen Rachel for the past two days and she knew that Rachel had been worried about her. Quinn also avoided her because she was too humiliated. It was hard for Quinn to earn her confidence back – she had to earn that confidence for six straight years and yes, one_ little _family chat changed it all.

Rachel understood. Of course, she did. She always understood Quinn.

When they were on the phone last night, Quinn just cried and Rachel just listened. Rachel didn't say anything; she just listened because Rachel understood.

Rachel always understood Quinn.

"Ms. Fabray," Dr. Bailey's secretary called.

Quinn looked up.

"Would you mind waiting for another ten minutes? Dr. Bailey is having a small problem with her appointment right now."

Quinn just nodded.

She was about to reach out for another magazine when the door chimes echoed inside the room, signaling that someone just entered the office. Quinn looked up and saw a smiling Brittany walking towards her, with a newspaper at hand.

"Excuse me, Miss. What can I do for you?" the secretary, who looked like she was in her mid-20s, asked Brittany.

Brittany turned to the secretary and smiled, "I'm her friend. I came here for her."

The secretary just smiled at Brittany as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

_Did the secretary just flirt with Brittany?_

Quinn just offered a small smile as she felt Brittany sit beside her and started turning the newspaper she had in hand.

"What's a seven-letter word for burst of bad temper?"

Quinn nearly chuckled. Brittany was such a sweetheart. She thought for a while and then answered, "Tantrum."

Brittany scribbled out and then asked again, "Three-letter word for the pig's pad? I tried pen but it's wrong."

Quinn thought of it again, "Sty."

"Score!"

Silence took over them as Brittany scribbled again. After writing _sty_, Brittany folded the newspaper again then playfully bumped Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn looked at her and smiled.

Brittany bumped her shoulder again and smiled as well.

"How did you know I'm here?"

"Out of the many ads on top of the table, this one's the catchiest: _Take a moment. Imagine how your life would be if you got over a bad habit or moved over a hurtful memory._"

Quinn chuckled. That's what actually caught her.

"You know, a therapy won't work if you're not wholeheartedly in it."

Quinn sighed, "I need to do this."

"Do you want to?"

"Does what I want matter at all?"

"It's all that _should _matter."

Silence.

Of course, Brittany's the one that could do that to her.

Brittany then stood up and stretched her hand out to Quinn. "Come on. Let's get you out of here," she offered.

"I can't."

While standing, Brittany browsed her newspaper again, "What's a five-letter word for selling merchandise on credit?"

Quinn thought for a while and when she figured the answer, she knew she had to come with Brittany, "Trust."

Brittany smiled as she nodded.

Of course, Brittany Pierce-Lopez always knows what to do.

o-o-o-o-o

Santana had been reading the same sentence on her book for about 10 times now and she still couldn't comprehend what it meant. That's what you get when you're Santana Lopez and you meddled with Quinn Fabray's _dysfunctional _life.

"You didn't have to do that," a voice spoke behind her and now, she knew her day couldn't get any worse.

"And you didn't have to spook me like that," Santana said as she turned to look at a very angry-looking Rachel Berry behind her.

Rachel sighed heavily, "Santana, we agreed we'd talk to her about it; the two of us!"

"Berry, you're causing a scene," Santana said as she looked around and there are already a few people looking at them.

Well, they're in a crowded Starbucks after all.

Rachel furiously sat across her and looked at her straight in the eyes, "You have no idea how much you pulled Quinn's strings when you did that."

"Trust me, I know –"

"You don't!" Rachel almost yelled. "Santana, stop making Quinn's decisions for her," Rachel said, hurt lacing on her tone. "She cried non-stop last night and do you know how much that hurt?"

Santana swallowed as she looked away.

"I don't understand why you feel the need to live Quinn's life for her. I know you saw her at her lowest and I am sorry for being the cause of that but Quinn is getting okay in her own little ways. If anyone would see the obvious changes, it would be you. It _should _be you."

It was a Rachel Berry-sized rant and Santana knew it would come eventually.

She didn't know what to say.

Okay, she went out of line going to Judy about it but she had the right intentions.

She sighed heavily as she tried to contain her building emotions. Leave it to Santana Lopez to mess things up just when everything was doing fine.

Rachel took a shaky breath and then released it, "She was doing okay, Santana. She didn't need anyone doubting that."

"I didn't doubt it, okay!" she cried. "For goodness sake, of course, I saw how much her self-healing has worked over the years but don't blame me if I get scared that she'll have attacks from time to time. I'm afraid I wouldn't be there to hold her hair up when it happens again!"

Santana had tears in her eyes.

_Oh no. She won't cry in a public place._

Rachel's tears brimmed in her eyes, "Don't you think I can do that?"

Santana looked away.

"You still don't trust me."

Santana crossed her arms in front of her chest as she leaned back on her seat, still not meeting Rachel's gaze.

Rachel nodded realizing that after all this time, she still hasn't earned Santana's trust.

"Look, Santana. I know where you're coming from, I really do and I understand if I don't ever gain your trust for the rest of our lives but you have let Quinn go. You have to let her be okay in the way she wants to."

Santana sighed, "I just don't want her to fall back on the same patterns again."

"She won't if we don't keep on reminding her about it," Rachel said as she tried to blink her tears away. "We both know that Quinn only lashes out on people if she thinks she's not good enough and when we doubt her like that, telling her she needs help, that's what is going to keep her falling back on the same patterns."

Santana huffed in frustration. "I didn't think Judy will bring your fathers all the way here to talk to her about it. The interrogation wasn't my fault."

"Santana, this is not just about what happened two days ago. This is about you, learning to let Quinn go. If you don't trust me, trust her and her judgment. Trust the Quinn who dwelled on healing herself over the past few years. She's a grown up woman, Santana as much as you are."

"She's fragile, Berry."

"You think I don't know that? I do. Believe it or not, I do. That's why I am excited to be married to her because I want to be the one taking care of her. I admire the way you care about Quinn but at some point, you have to let her go. You're not going to lose your best friend in the process of it, if that's what scares you."

Santana looked at Rachel tentatively then looked away again.

"Of course, every now and then, she'll be all cold and _Sophomore Quinn _again because that's just how she is. That's how she deals with her feelings and we just have to let it be. It doesn't mean she's going to slushy me again or throw you again against the lockers."

"Do you really think it's going to be that easy?"

"Nobody said it will be easy. I know Quinn and she's complicated and moody and she easily gets jealous but I love her," Rachel said in a breath. "I love her and I will be there for her until she's reminded of the person she really is, every time she loses it."

Santana sighed in frustration, "I messed up again, didn't I?"

Rachel nodded, "Big time."

"Fuck Quinn and her ninja skills. She kind of found a way to avoid me the past two days."

"She's really mad at you."

"Believe me, I know," she said as she rolled her eyes. Santana looked at Rachel and then said, "You're right. I don't trust you 100%."

"I know."

"But you kind of bitch-slapped me with your long sentences again and okay, I'm sorry."

Rachel's eyes grew wide because Santana Lopez just apologized to her.

_Santana Lopez apologized to Rachel Berry_.

Do you see the wrong things in that sentence?

"Your eyeballs are poking out of its lids, Berry," Santana said seeing the expression on Rachel's face. "I'm sorry for underestimating you."

Rachel smiled victoriously, "Does this apology include all the underestimating you gave me in high school?"

Santana rolled her eyes, "Look, it's not gonna be easy for me to just let Quinn go like that. I've been her mother slash father slash best friend and slash her occasional girlfriend for the past six years and I'll always be around, every now and then, but I swear I'd try to keep my nose out of your relationship. Just promise me one thing."

Rachel nodded.

"Don't ambush me on a public place again."

Rachel laughed, "Truce."

Santana sighed, "I honestly don't know where this leaves me and Quinn."

Rachel shook her head, "I don't have any idea, too but she'll come around."

Santana only sighed.

"You said yourself. You've been Quinn's mother slash father slash best friend and slash her occasional girl friend for the past six years. The Quinn we know wouldn't drop it just like that."

Santana smiled sadly, "Fuck Quinn and her dramatic life."

Rachel laughed, "Her life that has Santana Lopez in it. It must be very dramatic."

Santana laughed, "Come on. Half of Quinn's shit is about you."

"Half of it is yours, deal with it."

Santana just smiled. Well, it looked like she's back to square one with Quinn and Rachel.

o-o-o-o-o

Brittany took Quinn to the Boathouse Restaurant in Central Park and the two went boating.

"Remember the last time we went boating here? You were really honest with me back then."

Quinn nodded.

"Now, tell me, how do you feel?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"You're right."

Brittany laughed, "I don't understand why you still say you're fine. You know I know you're not."

"It's not easy for me to open up like that, you know."

"I know. San is a lot like you."

"Brit, can we go back now? My schedule with Dr. Bailey is kind of important."

"Come on Q. If you talk to her unwillingly, the therapy wouldn't work. Talk to me instead."

Quinn stayed silent because she really didn't know what to say.

Brittany sighed, "You know, it scares me when you go all cold like that; the way it scares me when Rachel is not rambling."

Quinn managed a small smile.

"Ask me if I agree with them."

Quinn looked at her.

"Ask me."

"Do you think I need help?"

"Yes," Brittany said while looking straight into Quinn's eyes.

Quinn sighed sadly.

"But not because something is wrong with you. Nothing's wrong with you. Ask Rachel. She'll tell you you're perfect."

"I'm okay, Britt."

"I know but it doesn't mean that you don't need to talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That's the part that makes me believe that you need to talk about it," Brittany said as she pulled Quinn closer to her. "You and Rachel are getting married, Q. If there's one thing I have learned about getting married, it's the truth that you have to set aside your issues to make it work."

"See? We'll have to forget about it anyway."

"What exactly is it?"

Quinn looked at her in confusion.

"What exactly is your issue, Quinn? The one issue that you need to set aside to make room for Rachel in your life?"

Quinn thought for a moment, "I don't know."

"See? You'll never be able to set it aside if you don't even know what it is. Knowing the problem is half the solution."

Here comes Brittany's inner Nicholas Sparks.

"B, they're all worried about the bulimia. That it's gonna come back and I'll burden Rachel with it and it's going to affect our marriage."

"No," Brittany said as she kissed the top of Quinn's head. "They're worried about you, doubting yourself again when times get rough. It's what caused the bulimia back then, Q – when you felt that you weren't good enough. It's also the same reason who had sex with Puck in high school."

Quinn just listened.

"The self-doubt is the unhealthy part of it, not the bulimia," Brittany said it like she said it every day. "Quinn, when you get married you have to be sure, not just of your partner but of yourself, more than anything else. It could get really ugly."

Quinn sighed.

"You're so in love with Rachel and that's not a bad thing but when people are so happy, they tend to forget the complications that a decision might bring. This marriage is gonna change everything. You have to believe everyone that was present two days ago because if you'll notice, all of us there are married or _were _married in Judy's case."

Quinn thought for a while and realized that Brittany was right.

"I know Rachel wouldn't mind holding your hair up when you get attacks again but do you want her to?"

Then, it hit her.

"Do you really want your marriage to go through the same ground that your history with Rachel had long gone over with?"

Brittany knew she pulled a string.

"Santana just wants you to get over it. I understand her and I'm not being biased because she's my wife. You're happy when you're with Rachel and San doesn't want to see your old self messing up with what makes you happy right now. You have to let it go, Quinn. You have to learn to talk about it because it's the only way to deal with it."

Brittany took Quinn's hand and then continued, "I believe you are okay but you have to prove it to yourself. You cannot just fall back to the same old ways again when things get hard. Do it for Rachel. Do it for your future family."

"It's not that easy."

"Nothing worth having comes easy."

"My life is so complicated."

"It's not. The way you're dealing with it is what complicates it," Brittany said as she smiled. "Or the way you're _not _dealing with it is what makes it complicated. You have to learn to trust you, over again because you're going to share yourself with someone else now. Do you want to share this Quinn with low self-esteem with Rachel?"

"No. She deserves the best."

Brittany smiled, "Then, think about it. Not just the therapy but everything that it constitutes. Think of it as a rubber band – the more you stretch it and the more you resist letting it go, the more it hurts when it snaps back at you. "

Silence.

"It's about trust, Quinn. You have to learn to trust yourself over again. If you can't even trust yourself, you'll never be able to trust Rachel enough. You can never give something that you don't have for yourself."

Then, it was silent again.

What's it with Brittany and boats and lakes?

"You're right."

"I know I am. You just failed to see the point when they ambushed you because deep inside you, you already believed something is wrong with you. You doubted yourself right away instead of seeing their intentions. That's the part you need help for."

Quinn sighed contentedly.

"It was wrong of them to corner you like that but at least give them a chance just for the sake of their intentions."

"Did San send you to talk to me about forgiving her?"

"No," Brittany said as she turned to her newspaper again. "You and San can never live without each other. You'll come around but it's gonna be different this time."

Quinn nodded because she was right.

"I need to get back to Dr. Bailey now," Quinn said as she smiled weakly.

Brittany was right.

_She needed this not just for herself but for Rachel._

Brittany shook her head, "I know someone who can help you."

Quinn looked at Brittany, "San went through a few sessions of _anger management_ last year. We trust her and she's qualified for your case."

"Santana went through anger management last year?"

Brittany nodded.

"I didn't know," Quinn said in complete shock.

Brittany smiled, "I didn't know about it either until she finished eight sessions. She said she needed to do it because she didn't want to keep yelling at me when she gets all messed up."

Quinn could not get herself that Santana would go through that without her knowing.

"She's doing really good with her temper now," Brittany said as she shrugged. "She's just waiting for you to talk to her again to refer Dr. Carter but since I don't think you both are going back to talking terms anytime soon, I'll give you the card. I know where San keeps it."

"Thank you, Brit," Quinn said as she leaned her head on Brittany's shoulder.

Brittany just nodded and began shuffling her newspaper again, "Quinn, what's a three-letter for psychic letters? San and I have been solving this since last night and we really can't figure it out."

Quinn chuckled. Of course, Brittany didn't need to say she's welcome. She'd always been welcome. She smiled, "Try ESP."

Brittany scribbled, "Oh my God. ESP? That's it!"

ESP turned out to be right.

"Okay, I'm buying you coffee if you solve the nine-letter word for wipe out."

Quinn smiled. That one was hard.

"Hmmm…"

She thought for a while.

"Your coffee is waiting, Baby Q."

She counted on her fingers, thinking if the word she had in mind was consisted of nine letters. Brittany just watched her, as if challenging her.

Then, Quinn smiled victoriously, "Eradicate."

Brittany smiled as she scribbled.

Who cares if she stood up Dr. Bailey, she's got free coffee anyway.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn spent the next few days talking to Judy about the whole thing.

Judy explained her intentions, although Quinn didn't really need to hear it. She understood right after Brittany explained it to her. She apologized to her mother for acting the way she did and Judy understood.

Her mother even went as far as offering to help her find a new therapist but she just told her that she already got one. And instead of letting the situation get awkward, they decided to learn new recipes instead.

Quinn also visited the Berry men and apologized to them personally. Of course, the Berry men understood. Everyone understood her and it made her feel even guiltier about how she easily lashed out.

It made her want to take that therapy.

It made her want to stop hurting the people around her and for once in her life, she agreed that she needed help.

And she was going to get it herself.

o-o-o-o-o

Two more days and Quinn found herself sitting by the waiting area of Dr. Jessica Carter's office.

Brittany was right about her, she seemed really nice. She talked to her on the phone already and unlike her heavy feelings toward Dr. Bailey, she felt somewhat safe with Dr. Carter.

Never in a million years did she think she'd get psychological help for her issues but there she was, waiting for her first session.

She still didn't know where to start but at least, she'd be starting.

She was about to take out the book she'd been reading recently when a voice interrupted her, "If I was a basketball player, I'd be a bad one."

_Rachel_.

Quinn looked up in surprise and confusion.

Rachel just smiled at her, "Because I keep on missing you."

_Oh God. How she missed Rachel's classic pickup lines. _

Blushing, Quinn just smiled.

Rachel smilingly sat beside her and took her hand with both of hers. "I hope you don't mind if I keep your hand in mine," Rachel said with _that _look on her face.

"Why?" Quinn asked.

Rachel only shrugged as she lifted one hand and pointed to a sign above them: _Don't leave your valuables unattended_.

Quinn laughed because admit it, that was a good one.

"Nicely done, Rach."

Rachel only shrugged her shoulders as she kissed Quinn's hand.

"What are you doing here and how did you know where I am?" Quinn asked. As far as she was concerned, she didn't tell Rachel where she was having her sessions.

"I bribed Brittany," Rachel said laughingly, remembering how she bargained with Brittany about teaching Lily how to sing _Don't Rain on My Parade _at the tender age of three.

Quinn chuckled, "You're not supposed to be here. You have a show tonight."

"Quinn…" Rachel said as she sought Quinn's eyes. "This is more important that any show in my life, okay?"

The blonde just looked at her fiancé, "It's the first time you'll miss a show in your entire career."

Rachel smiled, "I bet my understudy is crying her eyes out right now."

Quinn laughed, "You didn't have to do this."

Dr. Carter's secretary approached as she called, "Ms. Fabray, Dr. Carter is ready for you. Shall we?"

Quinn looked at the middle-aged woman before turning to Rachel, seeking for some sort of assurance that she's gonna be fine.

Rachel squeezed her hand and smile, "You'll be fine, baby."

Quinn swallowed. Maybe, she can still back out. She looked back at the secretary, "I –"

"Madame, can we have a moment, please?" Rachel asked the secretary.

Understanding what was happening, the woman smilingly nodded, "Just approach me when you're ready." The woman then walked back to her desk.

Rachel turned to Quinn and cupped her face, "Baby, you can do this. No one forced you to be here this time. You want this."

Quinn's heart was hammering against her chest because there are issues about her life that she didn't feel so comfortable talking about.

"I will be sitting here and I will wait for you, no matter how long the session lasts. And after you come out of Dr. Carter's office, I guarantee you that I still love you all the same."

Quinn closed her eyes because Rachel sounded so honest, so sincere and she loved her more for it.

Rachel, on the other hand, knew that what she said was lie. She knew, that once Quinn makes it out of her first session, that she'd love her even more because Quinn did it for her, despite herself; despite her issues.

When Quinn opened her eyes, she found Rachel's in an instant, "I'll be sitting here thinking about the name of our first baby boy. I brought Santana's baby names book with me."

Quinn laughed.

"I thought you wanted to have a girl."

Rachel contemplated, "I realized that I may also want to have a baby boy. I want him to play football and sing but I don't want him to be a giant."

Quinn laughed again and needless to say, it was the most beautiful thing Rachel has heard in her life. It has always been.

"You can do this Quinn," she said as she kissed her chastely. It was soft and short but it was enough to make Quinn feel that she wasn't going anywhere. She leaned their foreheads together and said, "I'm not going anywhere, Quinn. If you don't trust you," she smiles, "trust me."

Tears immediately formed in Quinn's eyes.

"I love you, Rach."

"I love you more, Quinn. Now, go. I have to think of baby names!"

And that was all the assurance Quinn needed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>For the next chapter, well, there's no stopping this wedding now.<strong>_


	59. Chapter 59: Reality vs Dreams

**2nd to the last A/N: *tears* It was May 21, 2011 when I started writing this. I mean, I just started shipping the couple and I got so dreamy and all. When I published it, I never thought anybody would read it, because well, I have read REALLY good fanfics out there – ones that had me crying and laughing altogether. After all the crazy fics, I'm surprised I'm still sane. HAHA. But, yeah, this fandom has been amazing and for the second to the last time, let me say THANK YOU. It's been a crazy ride and THANK YOU for not pulling off a manhunt for me because of all those drama and angst.**

**I started out with 5 reviews and now, wow… I don't know. It's overwhelming. This is the first fic I ever published and THANK YOU for spoiling me with those reviews. We're coming to a close and I can only promise you one thing… MORE TEARS. But tears of joy, this time.**

* * *

><p>When she was young, Rachel knew only one thing – she wanted to be a star. She wanted to be popular, she wanted to perform on Broadway, and she wanted people to recognize her. The process of getting what she wanted in her whole life was a long, grueling one. It involved years of endless bullying, being tormented by the person she loved the most, and rounds of tabloid scandals.<p>

All her life, Rachel Berry only wanted to be a star and now that she already became the star that she wanted to be, it's funny how _being a star _isn't exactly what completed her life.

Staring at the rehearsal dinner set up in front of her, Rachel Berry's life priorities changed. It turned into something she tried to avoid all this time.

Perhaps, when two people are meant to be – they can always run, but they can never escape. At the end of the day, Rachel Berry knew that Quinn Fabray is what completed her.

o-o-o-o-o

When she was young, Quinn knew only one thing – she didn't want to become a copycat of her mother. She wanted to become something, anything that wasn't a replica of her mother's success as a Stepford wife. The process of writing her own story involved a process of becoming a person she always hated to be. It involved stepping on people to get on top, a teenage pregnancy, and years of self-doubt.

All her life, she focused on escaping the destiny her parents planned for her and now that she was out of that hump in her life, it's funny how it is exactly what she wanted to be.

Staring at the rehearsal dinner set up in front of her, Quinn Fabray's life priorities changed. It turned into something she never thought possible, yet always hoped would happen.

Perhaps, when two people are meant to be – you cannot just give up on hope. At the end of the day, Quinn Fabray knew that Rachel Berry was, and still is, her only hope.

o-o-o-o-o

They say time is the most ironic element of someone's existence – it slows down when you're dying in anticipation and it passes fast when you wanted something to last longer.

In their case, time was a funny element. It is funny how days, weeks, and months passed.

Since the _ambush _happened, people around Rachel and Quinn tried to put the pieces back together – some they were able to fix, others just seemed impossible.

Judy, Leroy, and Hiram decided to stay in the city until the wedding. Judy stayed at the Pierce-Lopez' with Quinn and took it upon herself to babysit Lily when necessary. She always said it was her practice for the _upcoming_ Fabray-Berry siblings – with an 's', she meant she wanted more than one.

Leroy and Hiram stayed at Rachel's and kept their daughter at bay.

It was on Thanksgiving that Rachel and Quinn exchanged confused looks when they saw Charles at the door of Rachel's apartment with a bouquet of roses at hand. The roses were for Judy. He joined the Fabray-Berry-Pierce-Lopez Thanksgiving dinner and when Santana finally cracked a joke about a _gross relationship coming up_, that's when they all realized that Charles was _not _gay.

Christmas and Hanukah were spent at Rachel's. Santana, Brittany, and Lily went back home to Lima and so, their celebration became a Fabray-Berry exclusive, except Charles was there, too. Around this time, Rachel and Quinn couldn't help but laugh at it. It was funny how Charles seemed less intimidating now; nobody could ever out-intimidate a Fabray – that's a fact.

While things looked good for Charles and Judy, things have been slow between Quinn and Santana.

It pained Santana to realize that she was right. The _ambush _was the one that changed their friendship but despite the inevitable awkwardness, one thing didn't change between them: it's the fact that they still cared about each other.

Santana sent Quinn a voicemail on Christmas: _**Merry Christmas, Q. I know we're still not back on full swing but I know you'd want to hear that Lily already misses you. I kind of do, too. And Britts says Merry Christmas, too. And oh my God, Q. You won't believe how good of a singer Lily is! The midget did this to my daughter!**_

This made Quinn smile and of course, she sent a reply: _**Merry Christmas, S. Tell Lily and B that I miss them and just in case my best friend is emotionally ready, tell her I miss her, too. Be sure to be here on the first. Love you, San. I mean it.**_

Santana cried that night.

New Year came around and per tradition, Rachel had thrown a New Year's Eve party for her family and friends. Kurt and Blaine, Carla and Tyler (Carla's new boyfriend), Hiram and Leroy, Judy and Charles (because they're a package now), Lily, Brittany and Santana - - were all there to celebrate the New Year. But what made the occasion more memorable was Shelby, Beth, and Puck's attendance. It took a lot of courage for Quinn to invite Shelby and Beth but the moment Beth hugged her and told her how much she wanted to meet her, Quinn knew her life had shifted completely.

Quinn cried that night but Rachel kissed her tears when the clock struck 12.

February passed quickly but Quinn will never forget the _theater picnic _that Rachel put together just because she mentioned how jealous she was when Rachel pulled off the same thing for Finn in high school.

On March, _Chicago _closed and boy, did it close with a loud bang.

It was the same month that Dr. Carter decided to assure Quinn of her progress. She cut their sessions down to twice a month from their weekly routines.

Funny because since _Chicago _closed, Brittany and Carla lived a living hell – Quinn stopped meddling with the wedding and concentrated on her work and therapy while Rachel took a three-month break from work and focused on the wedding and finding the right home for her and Quinn. She had enough money to spend, anyway. And indeed, the Rachel Berry version of a bridezilla was unleashed.

Carla cried a lot that month.

o-o-o-o-o

"I cannot believe how sneaky Rachel's fans are!" Carla cried in confusion as she stared at her phone.

They were at Cooper's Beach in Southampton and the sand under her flats felt as if they were eating her. Their firm did its best to keep the wedding private but Rachel's fans have managed to figure out about it anyway. She didn't know how but she and Santana had an idea about who was behind the leaking of the information (see: Phoebe).

"Turn your phone off, Carla," Charles said smilingly. "It's not like they'll figure out where we are right now and even if they do, we have security around the place. The paps won't get to us. Calm down, Carl. You're already mirroring Rachel Berry," he joked.

Charles looked really nice and comfortable in his three-piece black and white suit. Black is his color but unlike before, the unbuttoned black suit jacket made him look less intimidating.

Carla looked around and sighed, "Dealing with the bride ego of Rachel Berry made me this way." It was obvious how much weight she lost because of the whole wedding planning process and her white knee-length dress made that very clear.

She looked around and saw people filling in the venue.

"Carla, this is amazing!" Rachel said happily, as she approached her.

Rachel looked around and was, again, captivated at how the rehearsal dinner was set up.

It was already dark but the hanging string lights all over the place illuminated the area, highlighting the perfectly set up chairs and tables. She loved the consistency – still black and white, with touches of red.

At the far end of the space that they occupied was a red loveseat Rachel assumed was for her and Quinn.

The buffet tables occupied the right side while the drinks were served on the left. She smiled as she easily spotted Santana by the punch, talking to Puck. Santana was wearing a black, form-fitting dress and Puck was wearing a simple pair of khaki pants and a loose buttoned-up shirt.

Soft melodies of familiar songs played in the background, joining the soft humming of the waves. It was really perfect. Rachel learned that Carla even had to call the local whether department to assure that rain was impossible that night and that the sea was on low tide.

She looked back at the string lights and noticed that some of them were star-shaped.

Rachel laughed, "Carla, those star-shaped bulbs are really nice."

Carla nodded, "Quinn's idea."

Rachel smiled. Of course, Quinn loved details.

o-o-o-o-o

Moments later, everyone was settled and already enjoying the food and drinks.

Rachel looked across her and saw Quinn looking perfect on her white sleeveless dress with a black mid-rib ribbon detail.

"You look beautiful tonight, Quinn."

Quinn looked up and smiled as if it was the first time Rachel said it to her.

"You look beautiful, too."

Rachel smiled, "Are you ready to be my wife?"

Quinn chuckled, "I am enjoying my last night as a Fabray."

Rachel nodded as she kissed Quinn softly.

After all this time, kissing Quinn Fabray still had the same effect on her. It made her heart beat fast. It made her knees feel weak.

_After all this time, it was still the best feeling in the world._

Then, they all heard it – the familiar sound of a utensil being clanked against a wine glass.

It's time for the speech thing.

_Of course, Rachel was excited._

Rachel and Quinn took their wine glassed and moved over to the loveseat in front of everyone. For some reason, they both blushed when they saw Finn standing, clanking his fork against his wine glass.

Finn still looked the same, plaid shirt and pants and all but it was obvious that he looked happy. They all know about his girlfriend Mary – a girl who slightly looked like Quinn but definitely had Rachel's personality and Santana's body.

Finn smiled his dopey smile – one of the things that never really changed about him, "God, I'm so nervous right now." He managed a small laugh before he continued, "Rachel and Quinn, if I was the douche you all accused me to be, I would be so mad at you both. I mean, I dated you."

He laughed again and so did his fellow Glee clubbers. They all knew where he was coming from.

"But I can't be mad at two people who found happiness in each other," he smiled again. He turned to the rest of the people in the room, "I don't know how these two do it but I admire how they are able to keep each other… I don't know, controlled? I dated Rachel and she is high maintenance and I dated Quinn and she is higher maintenance."

Both Quinn and Rachel laughed.

"I don't know but seeing them right now made me realize that there's something about Quinn that will always have a hold on Rachel and there's something about Rachel that will always have a claim on Quinn. I'm not smart but I know what this is and this is something I will always be proud to be part of – love."

Finn smiled for the final time as he turned to Rachel and Quinn, "Rachel and Quinn, I hope your marriage lasts. I mean, I've never seen you as happy as you are with each other when you were with me or Puck or Jesse. So yeah, I hope you continue making each other happy."

He sat back on his seat with a smile as Puck stood next. He didn't know why Quinn wanted her to say anything but he prepared something anyway.

"I didn't think it was possible for crazy people to be in love with each other," he teased and it earned laughs from his audience. "I don't have a name for whatever Quinn and Rachel has but if I did, I want something like that in my life, too."

Quinn didn't know what to feel. It was so uncharacteristic of Puck to say something sweet like that.

"I think I might have felt it once, for Quinn but I know Quinn wasn't meant for me. Had I known she was meant for Rachel, I would have pushed them to be with each other as early as senior year. I mean, that's hot."

Rachel and Quinn laughed at him – that's the Puck they all know.

"But seriously, Quinn and Rachel, I'm happy for you. You've come a long way and I like what I see when I see you and not because that's seriously hot but I agree with Finn, you two look happiest with each other."

The audience can't help but give him a round of applause.

Then, Mr. Schuester stood next as he smiled as if he couldn't believe what was happening.

"Nice vest, Mr. Schue," Santana teased and it made everyone laugh.

"Thank you, Santana," Mr. Schue said as he straightened up said vest and looked at Rachel and Quinn. "When I heard about this relationship, I was utterly surprised. How could I have not seen what was _really _happening in high school? First, it was Brittany and Santana and now, it's you two."

"It's definitely the vest," Santana commented from her seat.

It earned laughs again.

"Or the hair gel," Sue added.

Another round of laughs was heard.

"I think I didn't realize how you kids have grown up but this dinner and Finn and Puck's speech proved that and I'm proud of all of you. Rachel and Quinn you two have always been the most powerful women in the New Directions and seeing you right now, I just can't believe how perfect you are with each other. I'm really, really happy for you. Everything finally made sense and I'm just glad that you finally found happiness in each other. You are similar in so many ways and I can see this marriage working out in the long run."

Rachel mouthed a _thank you _as Mr. Schue sat back on his seat and smiled at the couple.

Then, Coach Sylvester, who was sitting on the same table with the Schuester family, stood next as she raised her glass, "I must say, I'm surprised. Not with the fact that my most trusted Head Cheerio of all time is gay but with the fact that she's marrying the loudest girl in McKinley history."

Rachel and Quinn laughed at that.

"You should all imagine the horror when I learned that another one of my favorite Cheerios is getting married and I am to speak at the rehearsal dinner of their big gay wedding!" the Coach, who was wearing a simple white shirt and black pants, said. "But I must say that these two right here are perfect for each other." Sue met Quinn's eyes and smiled, "I always told Q that she reminds me of a young, less striking Sue Sylvester for so many reasons and one that is obvious here: she knows what she wants and gets it, eventually. Q, I know that once you say 'I do' tomorrow, you'll live up to the responsibilities of being a married woman; just like how you lived up to the pressure of being the most important cheerleader in my years of reign. And Rachel, just continue being annoying, for all we know, Quinn loves it."

It earned laughs and Rachel had to smack Quinn's arm just to stop her from laughing.

Judy then stood and grabbed everyone's attention, "Up until this day, I still couldn't believe that the child I raised has turned to be the very woman in front of us." Judy locked eyes with Quinn as the younger Fabray smiled and then sought for her father's gaze somewhere.

Russell was sitting at the farthest table, along with Rachel's guests from Julliard. When their gazes met, he smiled and Quinn felt complete; like everything Russell did was a long forgotten memory now.

Quinn felt Rachel squeeze her hand.

_Yes, she was definitely complete._

"I'm proud of my daughter even if she's not the person we raised her to be. Seeing Quinn with Rachel right now made me realize how I have raised a brave woman, the one who knows what she wants and sure enough to go and get it. I want to thank Rachel for showing my daughter when and when not to dye her hair pink," Judy said smilingly.

The Glee kids laughed at that. They all knew what Judy was talking about.

"Kidding aside, thank you, Rachel," Judy met Rachel's teary eyes and Quinn just felt so proud to be raised by her mom. "Quinn is a better person now, a far cry from what her father and I tried to turn her into," Judy said as she turned to Quinn, "and Quinn, don't break Rachel's heart or I will seriously pick a new color for your blonde head."

Quinn laughed along with everyone as Rachel laughingly wiped the tears of her face.

It was an amazing feeling to be accepted by Judy Fabray and Rachel felt as if she was finally right for Quinn, despite the many mistakes she did in the past.

Judy sat back down on her seat, as Leroy – who was in the same table as Judy – stood and smilingly raised his glass, "Rachel knows how I have been on Team Quinn since they were in high school. No offense, Finn."

Everyone laughed, including Finn.

"Well, Quinn was such a cutie pie."

Again, they all laughed at the _cutie pie_.

"I'm sure every parent in this room would agree that the most wonderful feeling in this word is to see someone whom you can trust your daughter's future with," he met Quinn's eyes. "I saw the grown up person in Quinn and I know I wouldn't have to worry about my baby girl," he said as he tried to blink his tears away; such a dramatic father he was.

"So, Rachel and Quinn, you've always kept each other at bay, I agree with your Glee club teacher, I can see this marriage working out in the long run. I told you Santana," he turned to the Latina at the table next to them, "Rachel and Quinn are end game."

Santana laughed and everyone can't help but to clap their hands at that.

Hiram stood laughingly, "I can only say one thing, as my husband has already voiced out my thoughts. Rachel and Quinn, I need a granddaughter soon."

Everyone laughed again as Quinn blushed bashfully and Rachel just nodded.

_Rachel agrees._

It was when Santana stood to deliver her speech that Rachel felt Quinn tense beside her.

She was aware that Santana and Quinn haven't got their friendship back to how it was before the _ambush _happened. It saddened Rachel because it had been months – six and counting – but the two still seemed to be awkward around each other.

Quinn, at least, was the more awkward one. After all, Quinn was that kind of person – break her trust and then work so hard to earn it back. Santana was not an exception and she was right all along, that night changed friendship she shared with Quinn.

Santana tried, multiple times, to get Quinn to talk to her like old times but as she said herself: _fuck Quinn and her ninja skills _because the blonde always managed to avoid her with her full line of excuses. There was point that Santana just gave up. It was tiring to keep chasing Quinn around, asking for forgiveness so she just stopped and gave Quinn just the right amount of space she needed to clear her head up.

It pained Rachel to see their friendship hanging by a thread. It was obvious how much Santana missed Quinn. They lived in the same house but Quinn was either at work or was busy touring Judy around the city. Sometimes, Santana would call her just to ask how Quinn was doing. Rachel remembered the first time Santana called her about Quinn: _Rachel, tell Quinn to eat right. She's losing a lot of weight and it scares me, okay. Cook an entire buffet for her if you have to._

Santana dropped the call immediately after that and Rachel just smiled because admit it, it was sweet.

Quinn, on the other hand, just refused to talk about Santana. There were a few moments, though that she just slipped and would say something about how Santana would react if she saw a particular ad on the television.

"For those of you who don't know me, as if that's possible, I'm Santana Lopez. I met Quinn Fabray in high school but I've known Lucy forever," Santana started, doing her best to avoid Quinn's gaze. "I don't know if it applies to her anymore but it will always apply to me, Quinn is my best friend."

Quinn knew Santana took a couple rounds of that punch to gather all the strength she needed to deliver those words. They both weren't good at this stuff and that's only one of the many reasons their friendship worked.

"The Lucy I know was scared as hell to admit she was gay for the singing gnome in high school but the Quinn I became friends with in college wouldn't even mind wearing the same clothes over and over just to save money for the midget. That's the Quinn right in front of us and I will only say this once, I'm proud that I am a part of their union, although it still grosses me out at times."

Santana chuckled as she slowly met Quinn's intense gaze, "Some call it madness, I call it love."

Rachel, as did everyone, cooed at Santana's words as Santana rolled her eyes. "What?"

Santana sighed heavily, "Rachel and Quinn keep each other sane – the same way Quinn had managed to keep me sane after all these years, except we didn't make out. Eww."

The Latina was shaking inside. She wanted to say a lot of things including her apologies but she didn't know how to say them and she was afraid that Quinn wouldn't accept it. She didn't know if the time they spent apart was already enough but she didn't want to let this rehearsal dinner pass without letting Quinn know that she still wanted her in her life and she was willing to rekindle their friendship.

Their friendship survived the pressure of high school and the stress of college, there's no way they can't survive this.

When her tears brimmed, Santana was surprised herself but she knew she had to say it. She sought for Quinn's eyes and once they met, she said, "You all don't have any idea that my prayers during my college years were all composed of _'Thank You, God for Quinn'_."

Quinn's tears fell because _God! _She missed her best friend.

Santana knew it wasn't much but she and Quinn _always _didn't need much. It was enough.

"Quinn, you're my best friend and Rachel, that makes you my bestfriend-in-law tomorrow," Santana said as she smiled. "Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean you can flaunt your PDA in front of my face now."

It earned a couple of teary chuckles.

As Santana sat back on her seat, Quinn smiled at her. It relieved the Latina because she knew that smile – _the best friend concept still applied to Quinn_.

Brittany stood up next, smiling sweetly at Rachel and Quinn.

"Hi! I'm Brittany S. Pierce-Lopez and I am Rachel's self-proclaimed best friend. Me and Kurt are vying for the position," Brittany started as she smiled.

"Did you know that the ring Rachel gave Quinn has been passed throughout many generations of the Berry people? It's probably a hundred years old. When I heard the story about the ring from Leroy and Hiram, I felt really happy. The ring was used by Hiram's parents, then Leroy used it and now, it's Quinn's turn to use it. It's more than an ancient white gold ring. It represents the past, the present and the future."

This is Brittany being all Nicholas Sparks over again.

"It represents a family and the creation of another. And most importantly, when Rachel slid that ring on Quinn's finger, like their new wedding rings tomorrow, it will serve as a reminder that someone, out of seven billion people in the world, believes that _they _are the _ones _for each other."

Brittany looked around and then continued, "Rachel and Quinn made me believe in destiny – that when two people are meant for each other, they will always end up together; no matter who or what. I believe that Rachel and Quinn are tied by an invisible thread. They could go on different directions but they will always find each other at the end of the thread and I'm glad that they are the ones who are meant to be."

"I am the one that thought of the wedding's black-and-white concept. I wanted it to be in black-and-white because the colors black and white symbolize clarity and certainty. For years of being Rachel's friend and hearing Santana's stories about Quinn's miserable years, I always thought that they've always been in a gray area. A gray shade that always remained unresolved and unaddressed. A gray area that is not healthy for any kind of relationship. Love is important in a marriage but it's a bittersweet reality that love alone cannot make marriage work. After the wedding, everything about Rachel and Quinn will not be gray anymore. It will be black and white – solid, concrete, and certain."

Rachel smiled at Brittany's explanation.

In a million years, she will never believe that the Brittany who just delivered that speech is the same Brittany who didn't know how to lock the choir room door in high school.

"Rachel, Quinn," she called, looking at the couple, "Love is like the wedding rings you'll wear tomorrow. It has no beginning, it has no end. It represents the magic that happened to the people before you and the magic that will happen to your children. It represents eternity. So tonight," she paused as she raised her glass, "I toast to the love of a lifetime and to the love beyond that."

Almost everyone had tears in their eyes. It was a good speech by none other than Brittany Pierce-Lopez herself. Santana stood up as she lifted her glass, "To Quinn and Rachel."

"To Quinn and Rachel," everyone mimicked as they all took a sip from their glasses.

Quinn blinked away the tears in her eyes, if it wasn't for Brittany Pierce, she wouldn't be here. She smiled at Brittany before she stood up.

She was nervous to deliver this speech because she was never good at this.

She felt Rachel squeeze her hand to reassure her that she can do this.

_That doesn't mean she has forgiven Rachel for beating her at the Rock, Paper, Scissors game they did to determine who goes first._

She smiled as she looked around her, "Sophocles once said, _one word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love_. I would know that for sure. Love freed me."

Quinn shook her head at her own speech, "Santana, I can see you rolling your eyes from here."

Santana chuckled as she shrugged.

"I'm sure most of the people here know that I was your typical Head-Bitch-in-Charge in high school. I bullied people as I loathed myself. I'm not proud of it but I said it again because I know that what I feel for Rachel has turned me into the person I really am – the girl without the pressure of labels, the girl without the pressure of her parents. Love freed me… Rachel's love freed me."

Tears began welling in her eyes as she looked at the equally teary Rachel.

_ I'm doing this right._

She sought out Dr. Carter inside the venue, when their eyes met, Dr. Carter smiled.

Yes, _I'm doing alright._

"Do you know how much courage it took for me to ask Rachel to marry me?" she said as she chuckled. "A lot," she answered her own question. "It was easier to dance around when you're 16 years old and pregnant than to ask a beautiful, young woman to marry you."

It earned laughs and she saw her mother throw a playful glare. Judy never appreciated teenage pregnancy jokes.

"I never really understood the connection I always had with Rachel until that day we sat by the football field. It all didn't make sense until she said she loved me back. I will never forget how awesome it was. It was better than the feeling of my Valedictorian medal in my hands or my various Cheerios championship trophies or my Cum Laude certificate in UCLA. Rachel's hand in mine is simply the best feeling in the world," she said as she looked at Rachel, who was blushing and crying altogether.

"So I thank you all here tonight and tomorrow, we're giving you the chance to laugh at how we ended up so in love with each other because really, I know, after all this time, right?"

Quinn laughed and so did the people around her.

"Mom," Quinn said as she looked at Judy and then turned to her father, "and Dad, thank you."

Everyone turned to Russell and he just nodded smilingly, ignoring how awkward the looks were. Charles was glaring at him – that was unnecessary information.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you both for raising me this way. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be brave enough to stand up for Rachel or act on how I felt about her. Back in the day, this would have meant differently but I am sincerely thankful that you're here about to witness the most important day in my life, by far. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Both Judy and Russell nodded.

Quinn then turned to the direction where most of co-Glee clubbers were sitting.

"To the New Directions, I know, it's funny how Rachel 'Queen of Storm Outs' Berry and Quinn 'The Stuck Up Bitch' Fabray ended up marrying each other, but you all can kiss my ass. I know you support us and I thank you for that. If it wasn't for this club, I wouldn't have met the person that means the world to me now."

Rachel was blushing.

It felt amazing to hear that from Quinn.

"B, I don't know if I have given you the credit but I know that if it wasn't because of you, all of this won't even be possible. Thank you for being there for Rachel and me. I promise you that I will take care of Rachel and if she ever drinks a lot again, she'll sleep on the couch."

Brittany, as well as the guests, laughed at that and Rachel just pouted.

"Santana," she paused as she raised an eyebrow, "we don't do this sappy stuff but thank you. I know I don't need to say that anymore."

Santana will _never _admit but her tears immediately formed in her eyes the moment Quinn mentioned her name.

Quinn looked at Rachel and smiled at her as the brunette just clasped her hand. Quinn turned back to their audience, "Thank you for travelling all the way here to be at our wedding."

As Quinn sat back down on her seat, Rachel placed a small kiss on her cheek as the brunette stood up and faced everybody. She flashed her usual Rachel Berry smile and then looked around her.

She began, "This, I feel, is the most important _thank you _speech in my life."

Rachel Berry just wouldn't change.

"Since I was young, I had always known I was meant to be a star. My metaphor was _gold star _for crying out loud," she joked. "Growing up, I worked hard to be _that _star. In high school, I led the New Directions to winning a National title as I balanced my life amongst my 16 other clubs in McKinley. In Julliard, I didn't let any opportunity pass me by. When I knew it was a chance to shine – I grabbed it without a doubt in mind. Then, after I landed my first big role after Julliard, I thought I was already the star that I wanted to be. Perhaps, I already was but it all became different the day Quinn stood in my apartment wearing her silly baby blue dress and introduced herself as my new publicist."

Rachel turned to Quinn and smiled, "Do you know how it's like to have someone who you know you can't live without?" She then turned back to the rest of the room, "I do. Quinn means the world to me."

Quinn felt tears approach her eyes.

"All my life, I believed I was born to be a star and I thought that once I reached that star status I would be the happiest person in the world but I was wrong. All along, I had been wrong. When Quinn proposed to me, I felt like a star that finally found its place in a constellation," she said as her tears fell. "I realized that all my life, all I needed was a place I could belong to. And with Quinn, I found that. I found something I could belong to and something that belongs to me. She completes my life in the way I thought my dreams would. Quinn is the one big dream I fulfilled and I'm sure of that. I've never been this sure about anything in my life."

"So, let me thank you all for coming here to be part of our wedding. I know it was a lot of effort to drag you all the way here but you made it anyway. Dad and Daddy, I know you both are secretly doing your happy jazz dance now and I thank you for not changing your mind on who you're betting on and for supporting us, even during the times we didn't actually support each other," she laughed at the last part.

She turned to Judy, "Judy, thank you for giving me a chance to be part of Quinn's life again and don't worry, we'll try to have a blonde kid."

Judy laughed as she raised her glass to Rachel.

Tensed, Rachel turned to Russell, "Mr. Russell Fabray, I would like to take this opportunity introduce myself. I'm Rachel Berry and I will officially become your daughter-in-law tomorrow. I promise that I will take care of your daughter. Thank you for being here because I know this means a lot to Quinn. Anything that is important to her is important to me."

Russell managed a small smile as he nodded in appreciation of Rachel's speech for him.

That was hard but Rachel was proud she managed.

"Mr. Schue and Emma, thank you. You both have been great parts of our _relationship _and I'm glad you'll be part of tomorrow's event. To the New Directions, I can never thank you enough," Rachel paused to smile, "Aside from bearing with all my diva outs in high school, you all are living witnesses of how impossible it is for this day to happen but it still did. I hope when the time comes, you would still be there to tell our children how their mom dyed her hair pink and how _hot _her nose ring was when she had it."

The Glee kids laughed because really, the image Quinn instilled in them that day would stay forever.

"Not to mention the pornographic Rachel Berry images she drew back then."

"Wanky," Santana commented.

The Glee kids laughed hard and Quinn just blushed.

"You didn't have to say that!" Quinn said in embarrassment. She knew Rachel was just kidding and didn't mean harm. It made her blush big time.

Rachel just shook her head laughingly then continued, "Brittany, _thank you_. You've always been there during the darkest of my days and I don't think I have thanked you enough. You're the one who told Charles to get Quinn to fix my alcohol problems and I don't think I have given you enough credit. If it weren't for you, Quinn could have not stood there in her silly baby blue dress. And Santana, don't worry about Quinn. I'll take care of her and we can baby sit for Lily sometimes so you can get your _sweet lady kisses _on."

Santana laughed as she nodded.

"Again, everyone, thank you and see you at tomorrow's event."

Finn stood one more time as he raised his glass, "To Rachel, Quinn and their many years of marriage!"

Everyone mimicked the action and said, "To Rachel, Quinn and their many years of marriage."

o-o-o-o-o

Everybody was already up on their feet, dancing to a familiar song when Rachel felt Quinn tug her arm and gently dragged her towards a certain direction.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Rachel asked as she eyed Quinn.

"I need to formally introduce you," Quinn said a little too awkwardly.

Rachel's brows furrowed, not getting the full gist of what Quinn was doing but when she realized that they were headed Russell's direction, that's when she started feeling nervous. It was different to introduce yourself in front of an audience than to be introduced formally, like this.

Russell was alone in his table watching people move around him. When he saw Quinn and Rachel approaching him, he smiled and then stood up the moment the two stopped in front of him.

"Dad," Quinn said in a shaky voice. She was nervous, of course.

Russell just looked at them. He looked calm and happy and Rachel just hoped she was right on her conclusion.

"Dad, I want you to meet my fiancé, Rachel," Quinn began as she gestured in between them. "Rachel, this is my father, Russell Fabray."

Rachel forced a smile as she stretched her hand and nodded nervously, "Hello, Mr. Fabray, it's good to finally meet you."

Russell smilingly shook her hand, "I get to finally meet you."

"It's really nice to meet you, Sir," Rachel said nervously.

Russell smiled as he put his hands on his pockets, "Please, Rachel, call me Russell or Dad. Whatever you prefer."

Rachel's eyes grew wide, "I can call you Dad?"

The man shrugged happily, "If you want to, I'd be honored."

Quinn just smiled at the exchange. _Never _in her life did she think that this day will ever come.

The shorter girl beamed as she bounced on her feet, "I'm really happy that you'll be part of tomorrow's event."

Russell smiled as he looked at Rachel, "I'm surprised Quinn invited me."

Quinn and Rachel smiled.

"So, whose name are you taking?" he asked Quinn.

"Berry," Quinn replied.

Russell just nodded, "Well, Quinn Berry doesn't seem so bad." Quinn felt proud of her Dad. Under normal Fabray circumstances, Russell would have said a complete speech about the Fabray last name, being a popular and established name in Ohio and the Christian community - but he didn't. The man was contented to be part of the union and that made Quinn happy.

Rachel and Quinn just nodded at that.

Awkward silence surrounded them for a while until Russell broke it first.

"Quinn, I know I had so many shortcomings as your father and it's too late to say this now but for what it's worth, you and Rachel can come to me about anything. And if I never became a good father to you, at least I could be a good father-in-law to Rachel or a grandfather to your children."

Quinn just smiled and nodded.

No questions asked. She was willing to give her father a chance.

"Dad," Rachel said as she leaned forward to whisper, "why are all the people excited for the kids?"

Russell and Quinn laughed at that.

It was just so adorable.

The father shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe they're all curious if the kids are going to be more Quinn or more Rachel. I know I am."

Rachel thought of that.

"Who's carrying the first Fabray-Berry anyway?" Russell asked. "The Fabray genes are strong, mind you."

Rachel's head then slowly and playfully turned to Quinn.

Quinn rolled her eyes as she smilingly turned on her heels and said, "Talk to you later, Dad. I don't like to hear that conversation."

She then walked away leaving Rachel and Russell talking – whatever they were talking about, she didn't actually want to care. But she was happy that Rachel felt comfortable around her father and her father accepted Rachel; that her father accepted _her_, because all her life – that's one of the things she dreamt about.

o-o-o-o-o

The night was over and tomorrow was going to change their lives.

Most of the Glee kids opted to stay by the beach to hang out while the other guests rode the shuttle back to the inn to rest for the night.

Rachel walked Quinn back to her room, both of them smiling widely with their fingers intertwined, not willing to let the night end, yet too excited for tomorrow.

"You know, Quinn, life without you would be like a broken pencil."

"And why is that?"

"It's pointless."

Quinn laughed. Of course, Rachel Berry and her pickup lines.

"Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?"

Quinn looked at her in confusion, "No."

Rachel winked.

"Rachel!"

Rachel laughed, "What? We're getting married. Jokes like that are allowed now!"

Quinn stomped her foot in embarrassment.

Rachel bit her lip, she thought hard of this next one, "Are you light switch?"

"No."

"Because I like to turn you on."

"Rachel! Oh my God!" Quinn cried laughingly as she blushed furiously.

Rachel roared in laughter, mission achieved. Quinn was blushing now.

"You're drunk."

Rachel shook her head, "Nope. I'm just intoxicated by you."

Quinn laughed, awesome timing that is.

"I can't believe you're going to be my wife tomorrow," Rachel said as she swung their hands between them.

"Is that a pickup line?"

Rachel chuckled, "No, baby. I'm just so happy."

"Is this bad luck, seeing the bride before the wedding?"

"I don't believe in bad luck. I became the luckiest person when I had you."

Quinn laughed, "Rachel…"

"What? It's true!"

They finally reached Quinn's room. They stood by the door as Rachel snaked her arms around Quinn's neck and Quinn's hands easily found Rachel's waist.

"I get to call you Mrs. Berry tomorrow."

Quinn nodded in agreement, "I bet you will."

"I can't wait to marry you."

"You'll be marrying me tomorrow."

"I will and not even Barbra can stop it."

Quinn laughed as she kissed Rachel gently. Every kiss they shared felt really special, as if it is always the first time, "For the nth time, I love you, Rach."

Rachel smiled, "For the nth time, Quinn Fabray, I love you."

They kissed one last time, this time deeper and more passionate.

The night had been the kind of rehearsal dinner they imagined it to be.

Both Quinn and Rachel knew they won't be able to get the right amount of sleep that night because tomorrow was going to solidify everything about their relationship.

If it was possible, both of them wouldn't sleep that night because for once… _reality is better than their dreams._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Sorry for that lengthy opening AN.**_

_**And now… on to the wedding (I hope jealous!Quinn is still welcome).**_


	60. Chapter 60: FINALLY

**FINAL A/N: Wow. I don't have enough words right now other than THANK YOU. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and keeping up with this fic despite the angst and the cliffhangers. We've come to the end and I don't know if I can ever thank you enough for spending your time in reading this. It's my first fic and it's very special as its characters. This is 60 chapters of a rollercoaster ride and if you're still here, take time to applaud yourself. THANK YOU once again. If I'm Quinn, you guys are definitely my Santana. : )**

**I want to write more after this but it depends on my creativity level. But if there will be some of you who would look forward to reading my future writings, I promise I'd try. But for now, goodbye my dear readers and see you on the SAME GROUND soon, hopefully.**

**Warning: Long, Final Chapter Ahead**

* * *

><p><em>WMHS, Freshman Year<em>

_ One week through freshman year and things haven't gotten any better; things have been worse, if anything._

_ Rachel Berry's optimism was flailing slowly._

_ Now, those many chic flicks weren't lying. High school could get really bad._

_ If anything, those chic flicks underestimated the fact that the rest of a freshman's life could be defined on the first week of school._

_ Still, despite the awkward stares and mocking glares, Rachel walked down the hallways of McKinley with her head help up high._

_ She didn't know that her MySpace page was that popular – or that it was popular enough for her new schoolmates to use it against her._

_ She doesn't get what's so funny, though. How many 15-year olds do you know can sing Barbra and nail the flying fuck out of it?_

_ She shrugged it off._

_ She was talented and four impending years of horrible high school experience will not change that._

_ Rachel didn't know though, that one week into freshman year, her life was bound to be struck by an unknown force._

_ She didn't know why but that particular day, the stares were extra intense; the mocking glares had extra mockery. She was slowly becoming the school's laughing stock for so many reasons she didn't understand. It also didn't help that she woke up 10 minutes behind of her schedule._

_ Yes, she liked to keep her schedules intact but for once, she decided to stay human. Of course, like any ordinary teenage kid, she has those mornings when she just wanted to stay in bed for couple more minutes._

_ Sighing, Rachel walked towards her locker all the while faking her confidence. Her day didn't start in her favor and she didn't appreciate the drama this time._

_ Then, as she approached her locker, she instantly noticed something was different. Usually, when she goes through her regular morning locker routines, she was alone; as if other students did their best not to be in the same area as her. But that morning – there was someone by the lockers, just a small distance from where her locker stood._

_ She couldn't see the girl's face, though, damn the locker door._

_ She smiled – this time a real one, as she approached the girl who, she felt, could be her first ever high school friend. She walked toward her locker, walking past the girl clad in a baby blue dress. And right before she turned to her locker, Rachel turned to the girl._

_ And she was instantly enamored._

_ Wow._

_ Fifteen years of existence and Rachel was sure, she hadn't seen anything or anyone as beautiful as the girl in front of her._

_ The girl turned to her and smiled._

_ Rachel knew, right there and then, that her life was changed forever._

o-o-o-o-o

"Will you ever stop pacing?" Hiram asked his daughter who was – obviously – pacing.

"It's the day of my wedding. I'd appreciate it if you don't hold it against me."

Hiram chuckled as he buttoned up his long-sleeved white shirt.

"If you will not stop pacing, your makeup will be all smudged before the wedding even starts," Hiram said as he moved to the other side of the room where a chair rested. He took his Oxford shoes out and wore them. He moved carefully, trying to avoid ruining his well-pressed trousers.

"Dad, I haven't seen Quinn all morning. Is there any chance she ran away?" Rachel asked as she fumbled with the lace of her robe.

Hiram chuckled, "You haven't seen Quinn all morning because that's tradition, Rachel."

"Have you seen the wedding venue? Is everything okay? How's the weather? Do you think it will rain because I will never recover from that!"

Hiram only chuckled.

"And I'd go back to Quinn, have you seen her? Is she ready?"

Hiram just watched his daughter ramble some more and was relieved when Brittany entered the room, smiling brightly at Rachel.

"Geez, Rach. Stop worrying, I heard your rambling from the hallway."

Rachel turned to Brittany and smiled at her_... __best woman_? Well, her duties for the wedding were quite the best man's duties on a man-woman wedding. When she saw Brittany, her anxiousness suddenly disappeared.

"You look nice, B," she said as she sat by the vanity.

Brittany shrugged, "Thank you. I think I look better in this than my actual wedding dress."

Brittany was wearing a strapless empire waist black dress accessorized with a white sash tied around her mid-rib area. The dress lasted up to her knees, exposing the rest of her flawless legs and a nice pair of simple black heels. With her hair up in a soft bun, Brittany looked extremely classic yet, very charming.

"B, how's the venue? Is everything ready? Did you make sure that the mini-orchestra is ready? And are you sure that Lily will not choose later to throw tantrums?"

Brittany chuckled, "You worry too much."

"And Quinn? Is she there? She hasn't run away, right?"

This time, Brittany laughed.

"What is so funny? I am so nervous."

"Obviously."

"Brittany, will you just tell me that Quinn is in her room equally nervous as I am?"

Brittany smiled, "I can't say that for sure."

"What?"

"Calm down," Brittany said as she sat by the bed. "Darcy and Clare are working on her now. She just had her second cup of coffee and is nervous but not as nervous as you are."

"I can't believe Quinn is taking this a lot easier than I am."

"I believe it. You're the Bridezilla after all."

"It's not funny, Brittany."

Brittany just shrugged as she smiled, "Everything will be okay, Rach." Brittany turned to Hiram and said, "By the way Daddy H, I came here to tell you Daddy L is on his way up here and you both have an assignment to calm him down. He is a – Santana's words – sobbing mess right now."

Like on cue, Leroy entered the room with a box of Kleenex in hand and headed straight to the bed to sit and continue... _crying_. Brittany smiled for one last time and exited the room.

Hiram stood from where he was sitting and sat beside his husband. "Honey, what's wrong?" he asked although he knew why Leroy was crying. He'd been crying since yesterday.

Rachel stood from her seat in front of the vanity and sat beside her sobbing father.

"Daddy? Is this the moment you choose to pull off your father's happy tears on the day of your daughter's wedding?" Rachel asked smilingly.

Leroy sniffed _dramatically_. Of course, Rachel had to get it from somewhere.

"I can't believe my little girl's about to get married."

Hiram rolled his eyes good-naturedly, "Oh, for God's sake."

"Daddy, it's okay. Quinn and I will be visiting you every once in a while. Quinn loves you too much to take me away from you."

"I know, I know," Leroy as he wiped his tears off. "It's just that," he paused as he looked at Rachel, "you're so grown up now and gone were the days that you run to me for love advices."

Hiram chuckled.

Rachel cooed, "Dad, those days were gone a long time ago and hey, growing up isn't so bad. I turned out to be a popular actress. After all these years, your dreams for me came true."

"No, it hasn't, baby girl. My dream for you is to star next to Ryan Gosling in a dramatic film wherein you're the girl with the Leukemia and he's the badass guy who fell in love with you."

Rachel chuckled, "Dad, that's basically a remake of _A Walk to Remember_ and I don't intend to do films."

"That's not the point."

"Remember years ago, after we finished watching _The Civil War Musical_ on tape – which was illegal, I asked you if you were to die tomorrow and you had one chance to make your dream come true, what would that dream be?"

"A question that was highly uncalled for because it has no connection to the musical," Hiram interjected and Rachel and Leroy immediately shushed him.

Leroy thought for a while and smiled, "Yes, I remember. I said I'd wish for your happiness."

"An answer that was so vague yet I understood very well. That dream has come true, Daddy. I am happy right now and I have been happy since the day Quinn came back to my life. And after today, I know I'm bound for more happiness in my life."

Leroy smiled as he looked at his daughter endearingly. "Quinn really makes you happy, does she?"

Rachel nodded because that's true.

Leroy took his daughter's hand and looked into her eyes, "I'm so happy you finally found the one thing that really completes your life."

Rachel tried to blink her tears off; it's too early for wedding tears. She sighed contentedly, "I don't think I felt this thrilled about anything in my life. I have a Tony resting on top of my living room shelf, I have an array of huge Broadway productions on my resume but none of those compare to what I feel about finally having Quinn for the rest of my life."

Leroy and Hiram looked at each other and smiled. Their baby really has grown up.

Rachel looked afar, "You know, I credit it to you both. I have you to thank for raising me so well. When I was young, you kept telling me that I should always look forward to a future and work hard in the present to get it. Right now, what I see in my future is far too different from what the four-year-old Rachel had in mind, even different from what my 18-year-old self had in mind. Right now, I just want this marriage to work."

"You and Quinn will make this marriage work, Baby Girl," Hiram said smilingly.

"I see you both and you know what, I want a marriage like yours; a family like ours – something that is not perfect but standing still despite it all. I want to grow old with Quinn; cry at the wedding of our oldest child and play hide-and-seek with our first granddaughter -"

"Woah, slow down, speed racer," Hiram said laughingly. "Let's get over the wedding first."

Rachel laughed, "You're right. You know what, Dad, Daddy, it's so weird. I already want to grow old with Quinn, yet I want this day to last forever."

Rachel's fathers laughed.

"Come here, Baby Girl, hug your fathers!" Leroy called as Rachel complied.

Growing old can wait – she has a wedding to attend.

o-o-o-o-o

_WMHS, Sophomore Year_

_ Quinn will never forget the day Finn found out that Puck was the father of her baby._

_ She will never forget it because it was the very day that she decided on one thing – Rachel Berry is not so bad._

_ "I'm so sorry. I fully understand if you want to beat me up. If you can just try to avoid my nose," Rachel said._

_ She wanted to laugh, like really laugh hard because well, the situation is already bad enough and beating up Rachel isn't gonna make it all okay._

_ "I'm not mad at you. All you did was what I wasn't brave enough to do... tell the truth."_

_ It's true. She's not mad, she's frustrated._

_ She's frustrated of so many things like why is Rachel Berry so concerned of her; and why is Rachel Berry making moon eyes at her when she sings. She doesn't understand why all of these things bother her._

_ She's attractive; she's undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in the school and that's not being self-centered – it's a fact. If Rachel Berry had eyes for her, it's only natural; again, she's pretty. She could be anyone's dream girl._

_ It shouldn't bother her so much. It shouldn't affect her whole being especially right now that the only future she could have was practically ruined, like her whole life. Now, she has nowhere else to go but be stuck with Puck and God knows what his plans for the future are. Puck is a loser and so will she be and her baby._

_ It should be a tough time. It should be a time wherein suicidal thoughts start to invade her mind because she's practically homeless and just a moment ago, future-less._

_ Yet, she's sitting on a hallway bench beside Rachel Berry and she feels safe._

_ For the first time since the day she figured out she's pregnant, she felt safe – like nothing could hurt her; like everything will be alright._

_ She's sitting on a hallway bench beside Rachel Berry and she couldn't think of anything else but the very person beside her. She looked stunning in this proximity, her eyes are so expressive and she suddenly believed that line that said something about the eyes being the mirror of the soul._

_ Right there and then, Quinn saw Rachel's soul – the side of Rachel Berry that genuinely cared for her; the side of Rachel Berry that cared for a bitchy and undeserving Quinn Fabray._

_ She didn't understand but beside Rachel Berry, Quinn felt protected._

_ She didn't understand but beside Rachel Berry – the nose injury-fearing Rachel Berry – Quinn Fabray felt something close to magic._

_ Love._

_ No matter what form it is, she felt that for Rachel._

_ And from that day forward, Quinn never forgot the way it felt sitting beside Rachel Berry on a hallway bench..._

_ Because it's the first time she felt alive... all her life._

o-o-o-o-o

For the 49th time that day (Carla counted), Quinn stomped her foot.

"Why is Emily here?"

Carla, who was sitting by the bed checking out her iPad, looked up to a robe-clad Quinn, "Emily?"

"That girl Blaine was talking to earlier!" Quinn cried anxiously.

Carla just looked at her in confusion.

"The girl that had a crush on Rachel and the girl Rachel had a crush on?" Quinn tried to remind her.

"I don't..." Carla trailed off, still trying to figure out what Quinn was talking about.

Thankfully, Santana and Frannie entered the room.

"I heard your bratty attitude from the hallway Quinn, what's the matter?" Frannie asked.

"There's a girl who's planning to interfere with my wedding! Santana! Fix this!" Quinn yelled.

_Yep, she's freaking out._

"What?" Santana asked in confusion.

Carla smiled. "You're in talking terms already?" she asked Santana.

"I don't know," Santana replied.

It's true. She didn't expect Quinn to talk to her when she brought Frannie in but well, of course, during Quinn's freak-out moments, Santana will always be her girl.

"I don't have time for our issues, San! Emily girl is here and she's going to ruin this wedding!"

Santana already wanted to laugh.

"Emily? The hot blonde Rachel had a crush on?" Santana asked in sheer confusion.

"Yes! I need someone with half a brain here!"

That's when Frannie craked, she laughed. _Hard._

"Sis, calm down."

Quinn wanted to laugh. If this was happening to somebody else, she will laugh and tease like there's no tomorrow but this is happening to her.

She just saw Emily girl somewhere and she believed that she was here to seduce Rachel and stop this wedding.

Santana then shrugged, "Fran, she probably has a reason to freak out. I mean, she's marrying a popular theater actress. There could be loads of girls out there who's planning to sabotage this wedding."

Frannie understood what Santana was trying to do, "Well, Santana's right. Emily could just stop this wedding and declare that she and Rachel had crazy sex."

"Frannie!" Quinn cried, so loud that it hurt their ears. "Rachel will never do that!"

"Wouldn't she?" Santana asked playfully.

"Santana, I was seriously considering talking to you again. Now, I change my mind. This friendship is over!" said Quinn, stomping her foot again.

"That's the 50th time she stomp her foot! One more stomp and I win the bet with Rachel."

"What bet?" Quinn asked.

"About how many times you'll stomp your foot. I bet more than 50, she said you won't stomp that many times. Please, please, stomp your feet again!"

Frannie chuckled, "Seriously, sis. Calm down."

Quinn sighed heavily. "Fix this, Santana. I'm serious, fix this!"

Santana nearly laughed, "Well, I can't stop a girl carrying Rachel's baby."

"Santana!"

"What?"

"There's no Emily in the guest list," Carla said. "I checked," she added.

Santana glared at Carla. She's ruining this.

"Well, I should get going," Carla said as she stood up. "I'm gonna leave you with some girl time but please, Santana, tell me if she stomps her foot one more time."

That and Carla was gone.

"You look good Fran," Quinn said as she sat hopelessly in front of her vanity.

"You look freaked out," Frannie joked. Quinn's sister wore a simple white dress with red polka dots detail on the sides. Her short blonde hair was brushed up in a Marilyn Monroe style, giving the entire look a vintage feel.

"I swear to God that's Emily," Quinn said, doing her best not to stomp her foot one more time.

"Sis, everything's going to be okay. I just dropped by to make sure you're not freaking out, turns out, you already are."

"There's a girl about to stop my wedding! Oh my God, Rachel invited her!"

"Sis, seriously, stop this," Frannie said as looked at Quinn in the mirror. "No one's gonna stop this wedding. Everyone's scared of you."

"They better be. I won't let anyone stop this. I waited for this all my life."

"And here goes the sap," Santana mumbled as she sat by the bed.

"Fran, what if Rachel finds another hot woman? What will happen to me?"

Frannie smilingly shook head, "Sis, a girl hotter than you that is not me? That's impossible."

"Fran..." Quinn cried in frustration. "I'm serious. What if Rachel hooks up with that Emily and asks for divorce. Oh my God, I will never recover from that!"

"Santana and I will make Emily's death look like an accident. I watch enough Castle and Santana watches enough Pretty Little Liars."

Finally, Quinn smiled, "You'll do that for me?"

"Sis, we didn't actually grow up together but we had our moments."

"Then, do it now!" Quinn said, again possessed by jealous Quinn.

"Your hair is a bit messed up. I'm gonna go get Darcy and then sit beside Mom. She's been trying not to cry and failing miserably. I hate weddings!" Frannie said as she kissed the top of Quinn's head and then smiled. "I'm proud of you, sis. Love you."

That and Frannie was gone.

From the mirror, Quinn observed Santana – who had been silent – sitting on the bed, fiddling at the hem of her dress.

She looked really nice with her curled hair brushed one-sidedly and her face with only a hint of light makeup. She was wearing a sweetheart black dress with a baby doll pleated bodice and a tiered full short skirt. The dress was highlighted with a white mid-rib sash that also highlighted Santana's figure. The dress was short; almost too short to be a maid-of-honor dress.

Silence embraced the room.

It was the first time in six months that they'd been left alone like that.

"I swear to God, San. It's Emily," Quinn said, finally breaking the silence, as if Emily is a ghost.

"I didn't see her."

"Blaine was talking to her earlier. I saw her," Quinn said with wide-eyes.

"No worries, Quinn. I'll kill the bitch faster than you can say sabotage," Santana smiled reassuringly.

Silence.

It's not like they didn't know how to operate around each others' orbit anymore, they just didn't know where to start. It had been six months – and counting – and they know they still needed to patch things up.

"You look nice," Quinn said, trying to test the waters.

"I try and thankfully, I succeed every time."

"I was expecting for some kind of humility."

"I'm not known for that. I mean, I threw you against the lockers when you were my Captain. I have balls."

Quinn laughed gently, "Yeah, you have."

"Is that an insult?"

"I'm not known for my humor, so it's not a joke. You should know."

Santana smiled proudly, "That's my Captain."

Silence.

Quinn turned to her reflection in the mirror as Santana bit her lip.

Then, Santana felt like it was finally time to say it.

"I'm sorry, Q."

Quinn turned around and faced her best friend, "I missed you, San."

Santana's tears immediately welled.

"Oh my God, are those tears?" Quinn teased.

"Fuck you, Cap. You scared me," Santana said as she stood and slowly walked towards Quinn. "I mean, I basically gave up the hope of us talking about how crappy Smallville is. Lily and B watch it all the time!"

"We can never give up on hope. We should know that."

Santana nodded, "Yeah, I should know."

"Can we not fight like that again?" Quinn asked as she smiled.

Their friendship is a lot of things but it is definitely not weak. Sure, it might be rough or complicated at times but Santana and Quinn were also pretty much Rachel and Quinn – they're like scissors; they go in opposite directions but always manage to cut whoever comes in between.

"I don't like not talking to you for a long time. It's unhealthy to live under the same roof and not talk for like... months!" Santana said as she gestured wildly.

"San, I'm gonna miss you. Really, I mean, we lived together for years!"

"By 'for years' you mean all our lives?"

"Yes, all our lives!"

Santana chuckled, "I wouldn't know how to function without you lecturing me about how to put my clothes in the laundry basket. I mean, you did that for years!"

Quinn and laughed, "And you never learned."

Santana shrugged, "Some things don't change, Q."

Quinn nodded, "Yes, some things just don't change."

She said it because it's true. Some things don't change and that included the friendship they shared.

"May I hug you?" Santana asked.

Quinn smiled as she stood and then hugged Santana.

_Oh God, how she missed her best friend._

"Seriously, Q. I'm sorry; not just about the whole ambush thing but for everything," Santana said as she broke the hug.

"We don't say sorry, San. That doesn't have to change."

Santana smiled as her tears finally fell. She didn't know why but she needed those tears to come out. Quinn is a large part of her life and her best friend slash mother slash father slash occasional girl friend is finally separating roads with her.

"A lot of things are about to change today, S. I would be really glad to know that our friendship isn't gonna be one of them."

Santana let out a teary laugh, "I promise."

"Thanks for everything, Santana. Seriously. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough."

"Start by not thanking me. We don't say thank you, Q. That doesn't have to change."

Quinn smiled because yes, some things don't change.

They hug one more time as Quinn whispered, "San, I swear it's Emily."

Santana laughed, "That's not Emily out there. She's Blaine's friend that was also Rachel's friend from Julliard."

"What?" Quinn cried as she broke the hug."Why didn't you tell me?"

"Carla told you there's no Emily in the guest list!"

"Now, Carla and Frannie will think that I'm a jealous mess."

"Oh, believe me Q. You are."

She tried hard but she couldn't help it; Quinn stomp her foot in frustration, "You should have told me!"

Santana shook her head laughingly. "Carla!" she called. "You won the bet! Fifty-one times!"

Quinn only cried in frustration.

"I better get Brit now and have you dressed."

"San..." Quinn called.

Santana turned to Quinn, "I'm not going anywhere, Quinn."

The Latina knew that's all she needed to say.

And that's all the assurance Quinn needed to hear.

o-o-o-o-o

To say the least, it was a pretty big wedding.

Two hundred and forty-one guests to be exact with the wedding staff not included.

The sun was starting to set and they all knew it was about time for the wedding. All 241 guests slowly filled the area. The women wore white dresses with hints of red on their accessories while the men wore classic black tuxedos – no ties – accessorized with red pocket squares.

The seats nearest to the wedding gazebo were reserved for the couple's families and the participants of the wedding. Said seats were for Quinn's immediate family: Russell, Judy, Frannie, Bob (Frannie's husband), Carson, and Kayla. There were also a few of Quinn's cousins from Judy's side. The seats were also for Hiram, Leroy, and Shelby, as well as a pretty large number of Rachel's cousins, aunts, and uncles from both Hiram and Leroy's side.

The next zone of seats was reserved for Rachel's mentors from McKinley: the Schuesters, Coach Sylvester, Holly, Coach Beiste, and (the now retired) Principal Figgins. Also on the same zone were the Lopez and Pierce families, as well as the Joneses and the Hummel family. Puck's mother, who once took care of Quinn, was also there but mainly because she wanted to see Beth.

The rest of the seats were reserved for Rachel's friends from Julliard and a few of Quinn's friends from UCLA. There a couple of known Broadway names in the guests list, as per Rachel's insistence to invite those people she previously worked with. The entire cast of _Chicago and_ Lilibeth were present, as well as a few staff and crew members. _All _of the directors and musical executives that Rachel worked with before were also there. Quinn's staff from her WPIX office was also there and so were her bosses from the New York and LA offices. Dr. Carter and her husband were also somewhere in there.

Almost everyone who came in, especially those who just travelled straight from city, were shocked at how _big _the wedding is and how nice the venue was.

Surely, if these people will spread the word, Brittany and Carla might as well put up their own wedding planning company.

Southampton Inn's South Lawn is a huge event space featuring a perfectly manicured lawn – surrounded by bushes and trees – that is ideal for any garden wedding. Or a beach wedding. Perhaps, this wedding can also be considered a beach wedding because the sound of the waves from Cooper Beach just two minutes away can still be heard.

It was already getting dark, yet the string lights that hung on the sides of the boarders of the area they occupied illuminated the event, giving it a nostalgic feeling.

All 250 seats were arranged in rows and columns, separated by the aisle. The seats were covered with black and white cloth, highlighted with a red sash. The sides of the aisle had lighted tiki torches, designed with a combination of dark calla lilies (that seemed black although it is just on a deep shade of purple), red roses, and white moth orchids.

Nobody understood how the calla lilies blended with the other flowers without looking like a funeral rip-off but it somehow meshed well. Whoever the florist was, that person is sure to get more gigs from now on.

The calla lilies were Rachel's idea. Aside from the lack of pleasant black flowers, the calla lily symbolizes _magnificent beauty_. Of course, she checked. The orchids mean luxury and strength; while the roses mean, of course, _love_. Rachel will never admit it but she was proud of her flower choices.

The improvised wedding gazebo that stood in front of everyone was lifted by a platform just high enough for those at the back to see the couple. Its poles and sides were decorated with black cloth and a combination of white vanilla orchids and red roses.

The long aisle that led from the gazebo to the similarly designed wedding arch was just plain lawn with scattered amounts of red and white roses.

A few feet away from the gazebo stood the band's area. The band was already settled in – the drummer, the violinists, the piano man Brad (of course), and two of the background singers.

The weather was perfect. Spring time at the Hamptons had always been underrated because most tourists feel that summer is the best time for a Hampton getaway. But that day proved everyone wrong.

It's like the stars aligned for this wedding to happen. The weather was perfect, the guests didn't have trouble getting here, and everyone arrived on time.

For once, fate decided to agree with Rachel and Quinn.

At the end of the day, the wedding is _going to happen_.

Rachel said it.

Not even Barbra Streisand can stop this.

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel was nervous. She was nervous in such good way, it's not funny anymore.

She's going to be the first one who will walk down that ridiculously long aisle.

From where she stood, she can already hear the _New Directions_ (with the exception of her and Quinn) singing their age-old version of Bruno Mars' _Marry You_. Brittany insisted that the guests should see where Rachel and Quinn actually came from and the entire club agreed to perform because yes, they miss show tunes and all.

It wasn't part of the actual wedding prelude. They just really wanted to perform.

Soon as they were done performing, everyone got into places – the bridesmaids walked towards the far end of the area to get in line as Mercedes and Blaine approached the band area with Puck and Sam who both grabbed their own guitars.

Mercedes was the _American Idol _and Blaine was the rising Broadway actor – it was a no brainer; they are the wedding singers.

The prelude was about to start and Rachel can't help but close her eyes because yes…

_She's getting married._

Darcy and Clare were doing final touches on her hair and makeup when the band started playing the first song off the prelude list.

_Love… Soft as an easy chair…_

Rachel smiled because there's no way Barbra won't make it to their song list!

As Mercedes started singing Barbra Streisand's _Evergreen_, the guests settled on their seats. From where she sat (inside a small event tent at the far back of some trees a little away from the venue), she had to smile at Mercedes' own touch to the Streisand hit. She remembered how Mercedes insisted that she can never give Barbra justice but Rachel wanted this song to be in the list because her history with Quinn has proven…

_Time won't change the meaning of one love – ageless and ever, evergreen._

"Congratulations, Rachel," Darcy said as she added Rachel's final hair touchup. Clare smiled as well, and soon as the next song began its intro, her two assistants left her.

_One more song and this is it._

o-o-o-o-o

Megan and Santana were giving her a final overall look when Quinn heard the intro of the song she chose for the prelude. She knew she was already an emotional mess but little did she know that she was already _that _emotional.

The moment Jim Brickman's _The Gift _played from afar, Quinn's tears immediately formed.

When Mercedes and Blaine's voices started filling in, she took a deep breath because this song is definitely one of the songs she could dedicate to Rachel.

She wished Rachel could hear every word because she may not have written the song but its words… she feels them all for Rachel.

_All I want is to hold you forever. All I need is you more every day. You saved my heart from being broken apart. You gave your love away and I'm thankful every day for the gift._

And yes, Rachel is definitely _the gift_.

o-o-o-o-o

_This is it._

With her bouquet of flowers at hand, Rachel stood a few feet away from the arch entrance with her fathers at her sides.

_This is it._

All the guests were standing now, waiting for the processional to start.

The music was her cue to start walking and she was excited for two things: one, she was excited to flaunt her Monique Lhuillier wedding dress, and two, she was excited to hear the song Quinn picked for her.

They made a deal, Quinn will pick the song for her march and she will pick a song for Quinn's. She promised herself that she will not be disappointed no matter what Quinn's song choice is.

"You ready?" Leroy asked.

She nodded.

She only nodded because she was too nervous to even utter a single word.

"We love you, Rachel," Hiram said as he took his daughter's hand.

She looked smilingly at her fathers who were wearing similar classic black tuxedos and black ties with boutonnieres in the combination of a single red spray rose and a small white dendrobium orchid.

Then, she heard it. The song Quinn so rightfully chose for her.

_Have I told you lately that I love you?_

She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Rod Stewart's _Have I Told You Lately _is the last song on her mind yet, her heart warmed in an instant. It was probably Blaine's voice; or maybe, it's just the song.

_Have I told you there's no one else above you?_

It's definitely the song.

She started walking down the aisle, taking in the very sight in front of her.

The venue was amazing and those tiki torches were cute and perfect. But it's definitely the way the setting sun lit up the skies. Its red orange-y feel gave Rachel all sorts of nostalgia, like she just wanted to grab Quinn by the arm and drag her down to the beach just to watch the sun set.

It was perfect and she never appreciated the sunset the way she appreciated it on that moment.

_Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles that's what you do._

Rachel smiled but her eyes glowed with tears. It's definitely the song.

_ For the morning sun and all it's glory, greets the day with hope and comfort, too. You fill my life with laughter and somehow you make it better; ease my troubles that's what you do._

Now, her tears were threatening to rush out of her eyes.

Damn, Quinn.

Now, this song is going to be her ringtone.

She looked at the place where the band stood.

Mercedes, clad in a long, strapless black dress, was already wiping her tears off her face. She was wearing a red-and-white corsage, similar to the boutonnieres that her fathers were wearing. She looked behind her and saw Brittany, trailing her – still in her dress from earlier but this time clad with the similar corsage that Mercedes was wearing. Brittany was holding a bouquet of glossy, black-beaded flowers and white hydrangeas in a lush, rounded composition. It has long black-satin streamers that gathered at the ends in soft ruffles.

Blaine, who was singing with all his heart, was wearing a white suit and black tie with the similar boutonnieres as her fathers. Sam and Puck, who were playing the rhythm and lead guitars, were wearing the similar outfit.

Rachel already loved the details.

Surely, Carla and Brittany did a good job at this.

_There's a love that's divine and it's yours and it's mine, like the sun. And at the end of the day, we should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one._

Blaine certainly gave justice to Rod Stewart.

As Rachel walked down the aisle, she wasn't thinking or feeling anything except for the excitement of seeing Quinn walk down the aisle, leading to her and their promise of forever.

As she walked down the aisle, Rachel looked perfect – as perfect as she felt deep inside.

She was wearing a strapless, ivory empire dress in fine tulle featuring a finely draped straight neckline emphasized with a black lace tied around mid-rib area. From her waist down were scattered amount of black polka dots, making it look bold and vintage at the same time.

Her hair was up in a neat cinnamon bun, exposing her neck and upper back. She accessorized with a pair of classic pearl earrings and wore only a light amount of makeup – only emphasizing on her eyes and lips.

People may not see it because of her long dress but her two-inch red stilettos will surely enable her to kiss Quinn easily – enough of the height issues. _That's why heels were invented._

She was clutching her bouquet with both of her hands. Her bouquet is composed of white carnations, designed with handmade ribbon flowers and a pleated stem wrap adorned with black silk blooms.

This is probably her favorite part of the wedding, aside from the Quinn part.

_Yep, she's cheesy like that._

White carnations stand for purity and good luck. She chose the said flowers because if there's anything she and Quinn will need for this marriage to work out, it's not just love and trust – but good luck as well.

Dealing with a moody Quinn Fabray?

That's the _good luck, Rachel _right there.

She smiled at this thought.

She took a deep breath and let it out to smile once more. She knew she looked stunning. She just hoped Quinn would feel the same.

_Have I told you lately that I love you?_

Her tears were already halfway out her eyes by the time she reached the end of the aisle. Her fathers kissed her as they walked towards their seats.

Brittany, who was still beaming proudly, stood behind her and whispered, "You really look amazing, Rach."

"Thanks, B," she said in a shaky voice.

As Rachel stood at the end of the aisle, the music slowly changed into the next processional song that she and Quinn didn't need to argue about. It's definitely _their _wedding song.

_I would bet my life, like I bet my heart that you were the one, baby_

As Mercedes sang the opening lines of Carrie Underwood's _Look At Me_, Rachel watched as the cute flower girls entered the arch with Lily leading all of them.

Lily, Sophia, Olivia, and Beth were all wearing identical dresses. They wore simple yet lovely tea length white dresses, with its hems in black. The dresses have a black tie-back slash around the waist area.

As they walked down the aisle, they were all smiling happily as though everything is alright in the world. Lily was so cute and her steps were so little. The four flower girls were scattering more red and white flowers from their cute little black-and-white baskets.

_I've never been so sure of anything before. It's driving my heart crazy. I can't hold out, I can't hold back now like I've done before…_

Rachel smiled at the lyrics of the song. _Perfect_.

Then, it was the bridesmaids' time to shine.

_Darling, look at me. I've fallen like a fool for you. Darling, can't you see, I'd do anything you want me to._

Tina, Sugar, and Carla were wearing the same, elegant black dress that Mercedes was wearing. The dress is so simple, yet with their hair up in a side bun, the overall look was just so graceful and classy. Kurt, the fourth _bridesmaid, _was wearing a black suit – again one of his own designs.

_I tell myself I'm in too deep then, I fall a little farther every time you look at me._

Their partners – Artie for Tina, Rory for Sugar, Mike for Carla, and Finn for Kurt – were wearing the same white tux set like Blaine's. The white suit looked best on Mike, it's definitely his color.

_How do you do that, babe, make me feel like I'm the only girl alive for you._

It was finally time for the maid-of-honor to walk down the aisle.

Santana walked down the aisle still in her uber sexy dress, now with the same bouquet of flowers as Brittany. She was smirking in such a Santana Lopez fashion and Rachel will never admit that she never thought that this day will come – the day that Santana freakin' Lopez would be the maid-of-honor at her wedding.

_I don't know what it is that makes me fall like this. First time in your arms, I knew the way you held me; I knew that this could be what I've been waiting to find._

Mercedes sang the chorus once more and Rachel can't help her tears from forming – once again – in her eyes.

Yes, Quinn had been the one she'd been waiting to find and she _found _her. It wasn't a pathway of roses leading to a sunset view. It wasn't easy but still, she found her.

And right at that moment, it's all that matters.

o-o-o-o-o

Quinn has never been this nervous in her whole life.

Once she enters that arch, there's no turning back. She's going to be Quinn Berry for the rest of her life.

It's scary. The future always scared her and she didn't know how this day will alter the rest of her life but she was feeling more excitement than fear at that moment.

She didn't have any idea why or how but a life with Rachel Berry gave her a weird sense of security; like finally after all this time, Quinn Fabray just waited to be found.

Luckily for her, Rachel was the one destined to find her.

Even if given the chance, she wouldn't change a thing.

She heard the music change in the middle of her thoughts. It's her time to walk down the aisle.

Quinn looked at Judy who was standing beside her, clad in a classy, long white dress. She wore her hair pretty much like Frannie, vintage and refined.

_I guess I wanted something new in my life_

So, this is the song Rachel chose for her.

_A new key to fit a new door_

As Blaine sang the Stephen Bishop classic, Quinn started walking down the aisle, all the while fighting her tears.

_To wake and see a different view in my life. The one I've been waiting for._

Of course, Quinn expected a Broadway classic from Rachel but _Something New in my Life _is her new favorite song now.

The moment Quinn and Judy passed the arched way, Quinn and Rachel's eyes instantly met.

Quinn smiled pathetically. After all these years, Rachel still has the same effect on her.

Her knees grew weak in an instant, her stomach started performing somersaults; but it's definitely the way her heart beats that made this wedding certain. She knew about this feeling now and she doesn't mind if she's bound to feel this for the rest of her life. The way her body reacts to Rachel's presence is one of the best feelings in the world.

As Quinn walked down the aisle, the tears that Rachel had been holding finally fell.

Quinn looked radiant.

Yep, Rachel died on the inside, again.

With her blonde locks neatly let down on one side, Quinn graced the aisle with all her beauty and poise. Right there and then, Rachel decided that Quinn is the most beautiful girl in the entire world.

Quinn is wearing a long, strapless ivory dress with its chest area highlighted with the help of a black side and different kinds of black embroidery. The dress has a sweetheart neckline and the rest of the skirt part has ruffles that really helped to highlight Quinn's figure. The rest of the skirt featured scattered, small black spots.

The dress was perfect for Quinn.

It made her look calm and young, like she's the Quinn Fabray at the top of the pyramid only happier and more contented this time around.

_Dreams like everyone I've had a few in my life. Who knew that this one would come true in my life? I knew the moment when you touched me, you touched me._

She already said it and she will never get tired of saying it.

Quinn is a dream fulfilled.

_You're like a sudden breeze that blew in my life – a new face, a new smile, new song, and now I know I wanted you in my life all along._

Rachel picked this song because Quinn will always be something new in her life – something she never planned but ended up having. And for once, Rachel was happy that she didn't have all of her plans fulfilled because if she did, she would never be here.

She would never be this happy.

_I guess, I must have saved an empty place in my heart for you to come and fill this space in my heart that long before I said I loved you._

_I love you._

All the while she was walking down that aisle, her eyes locked with Rachel's, communicating how happy and nervous she was at the moment and she knew that Rachel felt the same.

She couldn't explain the feelings that song gave her. It's perfect and she easily understood what Rachel wanted to tell her.

She understood because she and Rachel have always understood each other – in high school, in college, and the rest after that, they always knew where the other was coming from. Though it was a tough road, Rachel and Quinn are end game.

_Whatever happens this is true in my life_

Rachel has never been this certain about anything in her life.

_When all the springs have come and gone_

Whatever happens, she's gonna fight to make this work with Quinn.

_Whatever dance I made or do in my life_

No matter what.

_Whatever else that I may do in my life_

No matter who.

_You'll always be something new in my life from now on…_

Quinn finally stood face-to-face with Rachel at the end of the aisle. Judy took Quinn's hand in hers and reached out to Rachel. Judy was in tears but Rachel and Quinn never tore their gazes away from each other.

_I know there always will be you in my life from now on._

o-o-o-o-o

It was finally time for the vows.

They say life has a funny way of teaching its lessons.

For Quinn Fabray, the journey has been a long and dramatic one but everything that has happened in her past led her to this day, to this moment—to her spot next to the woman she loved.

There were days Quinn thought about giving up_—_days when she felt like even her best efforts will not make her happy.

Quinn Fabray only wanted to be happy.

Don't we all?

"Up until this day, I still don't understand what I did to deserve someone like you," Quinn said, looking straight into Rachel's teary eyes. She's holding Rachel's hand with both of hers; her hands were shaking but she isn't gonna let go.

"In my life, I have so many questions, Rach. I have so many things that I want to understand. But when I woke up this morning realizing that I am about to walk down the aisle with you waiting at the end of it, one the biggest questions has finally been answered. From this point forward, I won't have to ask God why he gave you to me. I won't ask him why we still ended up here after all that's happened. I understand it now, Rachel Barbra Berry," she said and then smiles.

"You are my second chance."

Rachel tears fell the moment Quinn said the words.

"I have given up on so many things in my past. I have made so many mistakes but every time you come around, you give always give me the chance I never gave myself. Long ago, I have given up on trying to become what I was meant to be but you… You came to my life, all over again, and I know. I just know. You are my second chance at life. At love. At everything I never thought I could have_–_a family, a dream, an identity. You believe in me and that's more than enough to make me believe in myself, too.

I cannot make any promises, Rachel, except that I will never give up on you. I will never walk away from you again. If you throw me out, expect me to come back in the morning. Expect me to knock on the door until you open it up.

If you feel scared, expect me to hold your hand. The future has so much in store for us but for what it's worth, I will never give up on this, on us."

The minister asked, "Quinn Fabray, do you accept Rachel Berry as your wife_–f_or better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?"

With all of her, Quinn nods, "Yes, I do."

The moment Rachel heard Quinn say _I do_, was the exact moment in Rachel's life that Rachel realized just how much she needed the very woman in front of her.

The moment Quinn said that two words that tied her up with the brunette for the rest of their lives, Rachel was taken back to the moment she first saw her in freshman year. Quinn looked radiant and happy and that very moment _happy _was all that mattered.

Quinn was happy with her.

That's about the only thing Rachel could care about.

Like most people, Rachel Berry was never proud of some of the things she did in her life. She made selfish decisions and life-altering choices. Many of those decisions made all of her dreams come true while the others led to so much hurt in every waking day of her life.

It wasn't easy to be Rachel Berry_–_to have a battlefield as a life.

But on the day Quinn stood in front of her in her silly baby blue dress, coming back to her life for the second time around, Rachel knew that being Rachel Berry has its perks after all.

Perhaps, _love _does come when you least deserve it.

But that's the thing about love: there's only one way to deserve it_–_you have to learn how to give it back.

"Quinn Fabray, I will never understand the way the universe works," Rachel started her vow. She was trembling but she wasn't nervous. If anything, she was excited. She knew she's had Quinn since the day she said yes to being her girlfriend but this wedding will always be something special—a proof that somewhere in the middle of all the fluff and angst, Quinn Fabray had fallen in love with Rachel Berry; she's fallen hard enough for her to say _I do_.

"After everything we've been through, I thought I had lost you. I thought I had lost you forever the day I pushed you away and chose my dreams. But I never stopped believing because that's how Quinn and Rachel started—in hope and in believing."

Rachel met Quinn's eyes and tried to convey every emotion she felt inside.

Perhaps it was true, when you're standing in the middle of an altar with more than 200 people waiting for your promise of forever, you'd want to make it as real as it can be because it can never be written again.

And Rachel Berry knew that.

"You taught me how it is to really love somebody, Quinn. You loved me when I least deserved it and you came back even if I had pushed you away. That, to me is the greatest form of love I can ever imagine and I'm glad that you happened to me," she paused to take a deep breath and then continued, "I'm not perfect and I cannot promise you a life without heartbreaks and fights. Being married to me would mean years of fresh starts and clean slates but I can only promise you this—that at every start of every page, I'll be there with my hand extended because I am willing to make a million starts with you if that's what it takes to make this work. Unlike the Rachel Berry you probably still remember, the one who will say _I do _after this vow will never push you away. The Rachel Berry in front of you right now loves you more than anything else, more than a Tony, more than the stage."

Quinn is in tears.

For once, she lets herself believe Rachel without hesitation.

"I love you, Quinn Fabray and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life making you feel the kind of love you deserve. I will take care of you and I will never let you walk alone in the streets of New York ever again because while New York was once my dream, you are _everything _to me now."

Rachel smiled because it's true.

Quinn is everything to her now.

She laughs gently, "And for the record, I have always known we'd look cute on a wedding cake together."

Quinn cannot help but laugh because this image of Rachel Berry is definitely something she'd want to remember for the rest of her life… of the life she's bound to share with Rachel.

The spectators laughed as well and the minister had to clear her throat to ask, "Rachel Berry, do you accept Quinn Fabray as your wife_–f_or better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?"

Rachel nodded because it's true.

"I do," she said without hesitation.

Rachel then closed the gap between her and Quinn and kissed her ever so gently as if it was their first.

It didn't feel like fireworks.

It didn't feel like rainbows.

It felt something like… forever—something that held the promise of time and loyalty. It felt final.

It felt real.

It felt like love and lot more than that.

Best of all, it felt like Rachel and Quinn—just Rachel and Quinn finally making it together to the end.

Perhaps, they're at the Hamptons.

_ But Rachel and Quinn will always be in the same ground—the same ground that led them back to each other over and over, no matter what._

o-o-o-o-o

_A black-and-white wedding ceremony. Two-hundred and forty one guests. A Monique Lhuillier dress. The sunset. And Quinn Fabray as her wife. This isn't exactly how Rachel Berry imagined it to be seven years after high school._

_ Yet despite it all, she's completely happy._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'll be posting an EPILOGUE soon, just a bonus for y'all.<strong>_


	61. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

"Why are you so giddy?" Megan asked, out of sheer annoyance. Rachel had been so jumpy all morning. "It's not like you're totally excited about the whole Tony's this year."

Rachel shrugged as she playfully pouted at Darcy who was working on her hair, "I honestly don't know, Meg. I'm not sure."

"How's Quinn?" Megan asked, causing Rachel to smile so big that the stylist thought she actually hurt her face. "It's been years and you still smile so big at the mention of her," she added, rolling her eyes.

"Still very much pregnant," Rachel replied.

Yes.

It's exactly one year and three months since the wedding and Rachel and Quinn are... expecting.

Three months into the marriage and they decided that Quinn will carry the baby; and six months into the marriage, Quinn just came up to her one morning and delivered the best news Rachel heard all her life.

She will not forget that day.

o-o-o-o-o

She walked to the kitchen where she found Quinn already cleaning the countertops. It's six in the morning, mind you.

"Quinn, baby?" she greeted. She didn't know if she could surprise Quinn with a kiss because her wife—it still feels good saying that—just didn't look cheerful that morning. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Quinn turned to her, brows knotted in sheer irritation and pouting like a four-year-old baby. "This kitchen is so messy!" Quinn cried.

Rachel looked around and hell, the kitchen was far from messy.

"No, it's not," Rachel said as she sat by the kitchen island. "You've been huddling here for the past three days, just cleaning everything. How could it be messy?"

"I do not huddle!"

"Why are you screaming?"

Quinn only huffed and Rachel took this opportunity to approach the coffee maker and brew herself some coffee.

"Are you alright? Is this about work?"

"It's not about work, Rachel Berry!"

"And we are screaming again," Rachel said, now freaked out about her wife's behavior.

"I'm screaming because I'm pregnant!"

Rachel's eyes grew wide.

"What?"

"Rachel, I'm pregnant!"

She could not believe it.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Fuck," Quinn mumbles.

"Oh my God," Rachel finally realized. She walked over to the still-frustrated Quinn Fabray, agape in surprise.

"Baby... you're..."

"HAVING. A. BABY."

Best. News. Ever.

o-o-o-o-o

She will never forget how happy she felt that day and how she'd been so careful of Quinn ever since.

She never let her do the chores, served her milk every night (even though she's strictly vegan), gave up her twice-a-month ballet classes to accompany Quinn to the doctor, sang to Quinn's stomach whenever her wife threw tantrums, did the laundry during the weekends, made Quinn stop watching Casper (of fear that the baby would look like Casper), took classes on New Born 101 (from carrying the baby to changing the diapers), consulted Santana's gift (Six Simple Steps To Deal With Your Hormonal Wife) like the Bible...

The list could go on and on and Rachel never regretted anything.

Taking care of Quinn and dealing with her hormones are simply the best jobs in the world; being Quinn's wife beats being a huge Broadway star, that's a fact.

Santana's been a big help when it came to dealing with Quinn.

Hormonal Quinn is the worst Quinn ever, all of them, including Judy, Leroy and Hiram would agree to that.

She would yell and demand for impossible things and then be all sweet and cuddly the next minute. She whines when she doesn't get what she wants and refuses to talk to Rachel when she feels not like it.

It was all part of the Dealing with Hormonal Quinn Stage.

The only thing that calmed her down was Brittany's crosswords puzzles and Quinn even complains at said crossword puzzles when they're too easy.

Yeah, nerdy Quinn is right there, too.

"I've never seen you so stressed out as you've been the past few months," Darcy said.

Rachel let out a contented sigh, "Quinn's being a pain in the ass but I like it. I like it when she lets me take care of her."

"Hormones," Megan said.

"Hormones," Rachel smiled.

o-o-o-o-o

It's the night of the Tony's once more and though she wasn't nominated for any major competitive award, she was bound to receive a Special Tony Award.

The Tony's wanted to recognize her contributions, not just for her on-stage brilliance, but for her courage to live an outspoken life despite the overwhelming media pressures. The Tony's also considers her and her family—with Quinn, who had been followed everywhere since the pregnancy news broke—as a good representation of the LGBT community in the theater industry.

In the previous year, she and Quinn had openly supported various organizations and joined various campaigns against bullying and discrimination. For the past year, she had been a living proof that the straight and LGBT people can co-exist in a community.

Of course, Rachel was excited. Most of the people who previously received the award had it after so many years in the industry; she's probably the youngest person to ever receive the award and she thought that this would mean more than her previous wins—three in the past two years (two from Chicago last year).

She took Brittany with her instead of Quinn.

Quinn was already two and a half weeks away from her due date and the blonde can't any more manage to walk around a lot. Brittany, on the other hand, was also nominated for a Tony.

Yes, Brittany got nominated for her first Best Choreography award for her work in the revival of Oklahoma! earlier that year.

Brittany didn't take Santana with her, saying that the Latina needed to stay with Quinn for the day because she feels as if something is bound to happen to Quinn that day. Santana didn't want to agree but Brittany's instincts were never wrong. She just had to trust it.

And with Brittany's said nomination, people have started to wonder what McKinley High did to have such incredibly talented people: Rachel Berry, Tony Award-winning actress; Mercedes Jones, American Idol; Quinn Fabray, TV Promotions Executive; Brittany Pierce, Sought-After Choreographer; Blaine Anderson, Now One of Broadway's Finest Leading Men; and Kurt Hummel, Rising Broadway Star.

Seriously?

Rachel smiled at the thought.

Years after high school, most of them probably have their dreams fulfilled. It seemed so impossible way back then when they were just teenagers from a small town, trying to make things happen.

But now, everyone's dreams have started coming true. It didn't come in an instant and sure, it did go through an almost heart-wrenching evolution but in the end, they were all wherever they were today, almost eight years after high school—doing something everybody said they can't.

Rachel was going to receive something today that not everyone has the opportunity to have. The Tony's said that they decided to give it to her because of the many lives she'd changed; but she will always be proud of the lives she first changed—way back in high school, way back when everything was just a dream.

She didn't prepare a lengthy speech. She only prepared a speech just long enough to thank the people that stayed with her up until this very date: her fathers, the New Directions, and the love of her life.

For once, Rachel knew words would be enough.

At least, words are enough for now.

o-o-o-o-o

"What is your problem with the Twilight Saga, Quinn?" Santana asked in pure annoyance. Quinn's been a lot too touchy today, even questioning how Stephanie Meyer wrote Dakota Fanning's character, Jane. "You really have to stop fangirling over Dakota Fanning."

"You don't get it," Quinn said, rolling her eyes.

Santana stood from her seat beside Quinn and walked over to Quinn's huge bookshelf across the room, "Your huge book collection seriously scares me."

The Latina gestured to two rows of the bookshelf, "You bought all of these books for the past eight and a half months. Seriously, Quinn? Do you want your baby to look like a worm?"

Quinn laughs, "Is the pun intended?"

Santana laughed, "It was clever! Book worm! Your baby with Rachel isn't going to be a lizard but a book worm. A worm!"

Quinn laughed, "I appreciate your horrible attempts at humor lately."

"I don't appreciate your hormonal tantrums!"

"It was your choice to stay with me here whenever Rachel wasn't around."

Santana rolled her eyes, trying to make it seem like a no big deal, "I worry a lot. What can I do?"

"Sap."

"Fuck you and I will say more profanities in this house as long as I still can because that money jar right there," she pointed to the money jar on top of the coffee table, "is soon gonna empty my bank account."

Quinn laughed, "Rachel panicked when she heard Lily say, 'Damn it, Rachel, get it together'."

Santana doubled over in laughter. "That was the best thing Lily will ever say in her life. I raised my daughter well."

Quinn shook head, "She actually called me Tubbers."

Santana laughed again, "Oh my God. Lily, I love you!"

"It's not funny, San! She's like the demon spawn."

Santana giggled again, "Quinn, stop. Please. I can't breathe." Santana tried to speak in between laughs. It's actually really funny. Lily looked like an angel—imagine a young, four-year-old Quinn—but when she opens her mouth, all hell breaks loose; girl's got Lima Heights Adjacent in her.

The Latina walked back to her position beside Quinn and started massaging Quinn's feet, "Your feet look like tree roots. How many typhoons have you gone through?"

Quinn raises an eyebrow, "I hate you."

"Your feet look like it's bearing another child, like your legs are pregnant."

Okay, so maybe Quinn gained a lot of weight.

"I'm getting back to shape after this pregnancy!"

Still gently massaging Quinn's feet, Santana yells back, "Stop yelling!"

"I am so fat. I think Rachel hates seeing me like this."

Santana smiles warmly, "I like this. You actually look more human than ever."

"Am I supposed to retort?"

"No," Santana said, meeting her best friend's eyes. "Let's all get over perfect Quinn, shall we?"

Quinn nodded, "I have long moved over that since Brittany and Rachel started betting if the baby would be a girl or a boy.'"

"It's a girl, Q," Santana said confidently. "Trust me," she added.

"And how would you know?"

"You look horrible!"

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

Santana laughed, "I mean, midwives believe that when you're pregnant with a girl, the baby actually takes all the bloom from you."

"I was a pretty pregnant woman with Beth, so I beg to disagree."

Santana smiled undefeated, "Well, it doesn't help your appearance right now that you actually want this baby."

Quinn only looks at Santana, certain that her best friend was right.

"I mean, let's not be hypocrites here, Beth was... unexpected. You and Puckwhore didn't actually plan on having one but this worm on the way, you actually want this Quinn."

Quinn nodded. "So, that's why I look horrible?"

Santana shrugs, "I admit, you are actually incapable of looking horrible but you're actually having manifestations of a normal pregnant woman because you are a normal pregnant woman and not a pregnant woman who's busy blaming the world for sleeping with the school man whore."

Quinn shook her head smilingly, "It still surprises me how you make sense sometimes."

Santana smirked, "I just graduated from Med school, Quinn. I'm taking up internship soon. Eight years of education can actually change people." Santana smiled at Quinn as she stood up, "I hate how this pregnancy was able to sappy-fy me. Get into labor already!" she joked before fetching a drink from the kitchen.

By the time Santana went back to the living room, she saw a frozen Quinn, sitting uptight on the couch with her eyes wide and her copy of Mocking Jay was left sprawled on the floor.

Santana's heartbeat immediately sped, "Quinn? What happened?"

Quinn swallowed audibly.

"Did the ending change? Did Katniss finally learned how to dress properly?"

If it was happening to somebody else, Santana would have rolled on the floor with laughter. She knew what was happening but she wasn't prepared for it.

"Santana..."

"What? Just say it!"

"My water broke!"

"Fuck! Holy crap! I was kidding! You are two weeks away from your due date. It's not po-"

"My water broke, Santana. Fuck you!" Quinn yelled.

"Damn it! What should I do?" Santana cried, panicking.

"Fuck! You're the one who just graduated from Med school. You tell me what to do!"

"Uh, you're the one having a baby for the second fucking time. You tell me!"

"Really, Santana? Really?" Quinn yelled.

"I was never good at this!"

That's true. She's good at handling other patients but when it came to people close to her, it had always been different.

"Call 911!" Quinn yelled.

Santana picked her phone up to call -

"No!" Quinn yelled. "Jesus, Santana, keep up! Get the bag from my cabinet inside the room—oh God!"

Santana ran to the room and carried said bag and ran back to Quinn.

"Help me up! You are driving!"

"God damn it!"

"Hurry! Oh my God! I hate you, Rachel! Fuck!"

Santana almost literally carried Quinn down to the parking lot and forced her inside the car.

On the way to the hospital, while driving way over the New York speed limit (and that's not actually possible but she's Santana, after all), she dialed Brittany's number.

"Brit -"

"Why are you calling Brittany! Call Rachel—Jesus! Santana! You are so frustrating!"

"Shut up, Tubbers!" she yelled at Quinn and turns back to the phone call, "...Yes, baby that was Quinn. We're on our way—holy hell! Get the fuck out of my way!" Santana yelled at a slow cab in front of her. She turned back to the phone call, "B, we're on our way to the hospital. Baby worm is coming!"

Quinn could swear she heard Brittany squeal.

"Okay, tell Rachel and make sure she doesn't die before I actually kill someone right now!" Santana practically yelled and then hangs up.

"Why didn't you call Rachel?"

"Fabray, your wife is going to faint! For fuck's sake, she hyperventilated when she felt the baby kick!"

Quinn could only groan in pain.

_I hate you, Rachel. God damn it!_

o-o-o-o-o

Brittany was close to hyperventilating!

Finally, they're about to find out who won the bet.

With her smile wide and her steps big, Brittany ran from her seat in the audience to Rachel's dressing room.

"Rachel!" she called excitedly.

The door opened almost immediately revealing a smiling Charles, "Hello, Bri-"

"Where's Rachel?"

"I'm here Brit," Rachel called from the inside.

Brittany runs past Charles and stands in front of the all-ready Rachel.

"Is there anything wrong?"

"Oh my God, you look really gorgeous right now, Ray but Quinn... she's..."

Rachel, in an instant, went all frozen from where she stood; same goes for the other people in the room.

"Brittany, what happened to Quinn?"

"She's... The.."

"Brittany!"

"Baby! Baby is coming!"

"What?" Darcy, Clare, Megan, Charles, and Carla all cried in unison.

Rachel just stood there, agape and motionless.

"Rachel?" Brittany called.

"What did you say, Brit?"

"I said that the baby is coming! Santana's driving Quinn to -"

"Holy fuck," Rachel exhaled. Then, she realized it, "Oh my God! My wife is in labor!"

"Quinn is in labor!" Carla screamed, half-excited, half-panicked.

"Mother of God," Charles said, fishing his phone from his pocket.

On instinct, Rachel grabbed her purse and scrambled to get out of the room.

"Rachel!" Megan called.

Rachel stopped abruptly.

"What about the -"

Charles grabbed Megan's wrist to stop her and turned to Rachel, "Go and congratulations, Rachel."

Rachel let out a teary smile.

Quinn is in labor.

"I'll get your award!" Brittany said smilingly. "Congratulations, Rach! It's a girl!"

"It's a boy."

"Girl!"

"Just go, Rachel!" Carla said laughingly.

Rachel nodded as her tears fell.

_Their baby._

With all the speed and strength she can manage, Rachel ran out of the building—away from the Special Tony Award, away from her most special career moment. She ran away from everything else and ran toward the person that meant everything to her; toward her two most precious possessions.

Just like the rest of their history, they all still stood in the same ground—the same ground between their dreams and their selves.

In between it all was a promise of love.

And for once, being in the same ground wasn't a bad thing.

If this is how it feels being in the same ground with Quinn and their baby, Rachel doesn't mind feeling this way for the rest of her life.

o-o-o-o-o

Rachel ran as fast as she can toward the Emergency Room.

And as she turned the corner, she immediately saw a pacing Santana Lopez whose hands were fidgeting at the hem of her shirt.

"Santana, what happened?" she asked, panting.

"The baby happened," Santana said as sighed. "Fuck, she's like two weeks early."

"I know… I…"

"What the fuck are you waiting for, go to the desk and asked to be suited! Quinn needs you right now!"

Rachel nervously nodded, walking past Santana toward the desk at the end of the hallway.

_Holy fuck. This is it._

o-o-o-o-o

Santana can't help but smile as she shook her head in disbelief.

When Quinn was in a familiar situation way back in high school, she knew she acted as the worst best friend in all of Ohio. But that was then.

This is now.

She stood there, waiting to see if Quinn made it through such a sensitive pregnancy and see if the baby would be a boy or a girl.

She, Brittany, and Rachel had been betting the past few months about the baby's gender since Quinn and Rachel refused to have the UltraSound thing. She's sure it's a girl and Brittany wants it to be girl, just like Leroy and Hiram. Judy and Charles want it to be a boy, as well as Rachel.

Santana chuckled to herself again. She's sure that even the baby was meant to be boy, the gender would have changed somewhere along the pregnancy because of the countless times Brittany insisted it's a girl.

Despite her shaking hands, she managed to call Judy and Leroy to tell them about Quinn's situation. She knew Rachel would be too shaken up to do that. Immediately, the three parents guaranteed to arrive the next morning as they were able to book an urgent flight—with Carla's help, of course.

She also called Mercedes and Kurt and let them spread the news to their friends. Shortly after that, she received many texts from all of the New Directions, telling her to update her about Quinn and the baby's situation. Puck called her to check on Quinn and although he sounded a bit wary on the other end of the line, Santana knew he cared—perhaps he will always care for Quinn. Puck also promised to call Shelby and ask if he can take Beth to see Quinn and the baby; Santana only agreed, she knew Quinn would want Beth there.

She had to suppress her laughter when she saw Rachel all isolation gown, mask, and cap as the brunette made her way inside the room where Quinn was practically screaming to death.

She will never get herself to believe that eight years after high school, she'd be in New York and has a family with Brittany, all the while having Quinn as her best friend and keeping Rachel freaking Berry in her life.

Yep.

It was so unlikely in high school but we can all say its fate. And yeah, she kind of likes it.

o-o-o-o-o

The feeling of the isolation gown above her uber expensive Tony's dress didn't help the growing feeling of uneasiness she had deep inside.

Well, she's uneasy but she's also excited and terrified and worried and happy at the same time.

The next time her fathers tell her about the way they felt when she was born, she would agree and she would believe them wholeheartedly because she understands the feeling now.

Baby number one is coming and she couldn't help the teary grin that escaped her lips that moment she stepped inside the delivery room. Quinn was already halfway there, with the breathing and all.

"You must be the wife," she heard the doctor say.

When Quinn heard it, her head immediately snapped toward her direction and her wife—her ever beautiful and adorable wife—glared at her. _Hormones._

"What took you so long?" Quinn said in between calming breaths.

She wanted to explain and tell Quinn about the traffic but then she just didn't have the words; even amidst the labor, Quinn is still the most beautiful girl in the world.

She walked over to Quinn and instantly took her hand. Rachel looked Quinn in the eyes and nodded encouragingly, "You can do this."

Quinn's tears immediately formed because who was she kidding? Santana was right. She actually wants this baby.

"Okay, Quinn. Let's do this one more time. In three, I ask you to push as hard as you can," the doctor said under her mask.

"Okay," Quinn said breathlessly. She gripped on Rachel's hand for support.

"I love you, okay?" Rachel said, looking straight into Quinn's eyes. "And I will love you more after you give life to this child," she said smilingly.

Rachel had tears in her eyes.

Quinn nodded because really, she didn't know that giving birth felt this exciting and entirely scary at the same time; and although her feelings were a mixture of both negative and positive vibes, she knew she was going to be okay. Unlike the first birth she gave, someone was actually here, holding her hand and promising her the kind of certainty she wished for all her life.

And for someone like Quinn Fabray, that's about enough for her to get through this—through anything else.

"One," the doctor started. "Two," she continued.

Rachel swallowed as she held Quinn's hand with both of hers.

"I love you, Rachel," Quinn whispers.

"Three."

And there, while Quinn clutched her hands as if her life depended on it, Rachel heard the most number of profanities Quinn ever said in her life and she didn't love her any less.

She loved her more.

She loved her more than anything else.

o-o-o-o-o

It's been two hours since Rachel left and Brittany played with her phone in her hands.

What's taking it so long?

_**Boy or girl? How's Q?**_

__She had been sending Santana the same text over and over again but the Latina just kept saying that she should calm down and there hadn't been any news just yet.

And now, Rachel's award is next. She had received hers a few moments ago and though she knew Santana wasn't there to witness it, she still mentioned her wife in her speech because really, Santana is the music that keeps her dancing. No matter how sappy that sounds. It's true. Santana's the reason why she still keeps on going and she knew she's lucky to have that kind of privilege in her life.

The host came up on stage and then started, "Each year, the Tony's gives honor to remarkable people who made such incredible contributions not just on the Broadway stage but in the community as well. This year, we give the Special Tony Award to a lady who's not only one of the bests in this generation but also one of the most respected and highly looked up to these days. We give honor to her strength to dream and her valor to live a life despite insurmountable amounts of skepticism. Today, we honor an actress, a wife, and future mother who is definitely a model of talent, audacity, and courage. Ladies and gentlemen, we give the Special Tony Award to Rachel Berry."

Just as when Brittany, heard Rachel's name, her phone buzzed. Everyone in the room stood and gave Rachel a standing ovation as they waited for her to come out and accept the award.

She read her newest text message and upon finishing Santana's text, a wide grin spread upon her face.

"Unfortunately, Ms. Rachel Berry cannot attend the event to accept her award," the host said.

Everyone started murmuring stuff because everybody knew she was here earlier.

"So, to accept the award in behalf of Ms. Berry is this year's winner of Best Choreography award, Ms. Brittany Pierce."

Brittany stood from her seat with _that _grin on her face as everybody clapped.

She took the small furniture from the host and stood behind the platform.

"If Rachel was here, she would first ramble about how happy she is," Brittany said as everybody shared a laugh. "But then, she'd definitely thank our Glee Club mentor Mr. Schuester and his family, as well as the New Directions. She would thank me, because I'm her best friend, and she'd thank Santana because Santana's the best friend of her wife. She will also thank Blaine Anderson, who is our friend and Kurt Hummel, too. She would thank her fathers, Leroy and Hiram and she will say that her father Leroy is crying right now."

Everybody was listening to Brittany with smiles on their faces.

"And in behalf of Rachel Berry, she will thank you all for believing in her and in her talents. Then, she'll thank her wife lastly because she loves her so much."

There was another round of applause but Brittany didn't leave the stage just yet. She cleared her throat and continued, "The reason Rachel Berry is not here is because she's welcoming a brand new shift in her life."

The people in the room _now _looked interested.

She had to smile at this because after all this time, Brittany Pierce is still damn right.

"And I hope that as we go home, we pray and welcome into this world… baby Lucy Charlotte Berry."

Yep.

Brittany's right.

Baby number one is a girl.


End file.
